Triforce! - Freaky Eaters | Triforce Mailbag #61

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Triforce Mailbag Special 61! Pyrion has received TONS of emails about eating ordinary food very weirdly. Maybe don't listen to this one while enjoying a meal? Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax Hello, friends, well wishes, haters, and regular listeners. If you fall into any of those categories, you are indeed welcome here. This is a mailbag episode. A very inclusive podcast, this one. It is. This is also an episode that some of you, we'll enjoy. So what I'm, what I've got is about 150 weird eating emails. Um, a hundred and 50. Yeah. And we have to go through all of them today. No, I'm thinking we'll just go through as many

as we can stomach. Um, well, good pun. I mean, obviously if you're eating your breakfast right now or your lunch or feeling peckish, maybe you don't, don't listen. If you are listening, if you are eating, please stop eating or listen to the podcast after you have finished eating. Or if you think this is going to upset you? I mean, I don't know, period. Is it going to upset people? Or is it just stuff like people eating jaffa cakes upside down? Is it like... Let me give an example. People eating a sandwich on a roller coaster. So I have not read any of these. Okay. I have just taken the subject line or any of the emails that have popped up and said, here's a weird email about eating and put it straight in a different folder called weird eating. So you're not sorted into, it's not like we're going to

work from the weirdest backwards or it's not going to get weirder and weirder. Exactly. It might be The weirdest one might be the first one. All right. Indeed. So here's an example one. This is from Jack. When I eat custard creams, bourbons or similar, I will eat them in three separate phases. Biscuit, then lick the cream off, and then biscuit.

Pretty standard, right? That's the kind of opener that we're looking at. So it's like a starter, a main, and a dessert. Listen, a bourbon cream, I shove a whole one of those in my mouth and just eat it. Well, indeed. I think we're going to find out that the... I don't, too. I don't fuck around.

Are you saying you eat a biscuit? In one go. In one go. That's wild. Yeah, I don't even bite it at half. I just shut the whole damn thing in there and I'm away. All right. How long did it take you to crunch that bad boy down?

Usually I'm like standing up or walking while I'm eating these things. So you're a very functional biscuit eating. You're just like, right? It's done. Very much so. I have to be. Okay. I'm on my toes all the time.

So you're just like eating that biscuit and moving. you're multitasking, you're eating while you're doing the next thing. I'm eating because I need to. There's no time to savour the biscuit. No, I'm not taking half an hour out of my day to like remove tops and bottoms and lick the cream. You're not putting the biscuits in a little bowl and taking them out with you. Those are well behind me now. We've established over something like what the eight years we've been doing this podcast that Sips,

Sips eats purely because his body craves food. Needs food. Not because he enjoys eating. in any form. So I think you are the opposite of these weird eaters. Actually, I would put you in a category of food haters, really. I kind of hate food, yeah. I feel inconvenienced by food and needing to like sit down and that is such a shame. Well, unlike Abby, who, when they have a Big Mac from McDonald's, the Big Mac, of course, is the triple bun. It's the top burger, which is Bunbergger button. And then to

the second meat patty completely on its own, with the final piece of bread at the bottom, put chips on and roll it up like a sandwich. So that's pretty gross. I don't, I don't, I'm a bit of a methodical mixer as well. Like if I eat a full English, I take a little bit from every type of food and do a combo on the fork and eat it. And then slowly the whole plate just disappears. That's like you're desperately hoping that something connects with you. That's, do you know what? I just like the mix. I appreciate that. I think that that is, you know, the combination of flavors combining them methodically, like, seems very, you know, if that's your thing, that's like, that's actually fine, but I disagree with the further

processing of processed food. We do, you do not need that processed McDonald's burger has already been processed to a fuck. It's only gone through so many industrial processes to get it where it is. And all you're doing, like working on it further. Working. You're working it further. I mean, you're needing the, you're taking what is already. a manufactured object, you know, there's no resemblance to anything, you know, and making it into something, another sandwich.

You don't, we don't need to keep processing these things, you know? Indeed. It would be like, it would be like if, you know, I bought a chair. Yeah. And then I, you ate the chair. It'd be ridiculous. Broke it down and made it into a table or whatever. Indeed.

Yeah. Just figure something, you don't have to do it. You can find something. If you clearly want something else. Well, possibly, but listen to a few of these, and I think we'll, we can come to a conclusion about what people are looking for. I understand your point, but bear with me, here's one from Jacob, okay? There's two weird ways.

Number one, eats the entire crust of a sandwich before getting into the good bits. Does this with anything like a burger or anything with a round bun, any kind of sandwich, eats all the crusts off, all the bare bread, and then reserves the rest of it for last. This, I would say, is an element of childhood trauma, right, of where your parents have said to you to eat the crust or you're going to goblins are going to get you or, you know, you're not going to get your dinner or we're going to leave you on the side of the road. You know, there's something that is happened to that child, okay, where they've been told that they've got to eat their crust and so they know that that is the bad bit, right? And they don't want to go, they don't want to put them to waste either. They don't want to go to waste. So you eat all that horrible, the bit, it's not horrible even, it's just different.

You know, you get rid of that and then you could finally, it's almost the buildup as well. You're building up to the good bit. And I think this is, again, very normal, but also like a lot of people do it. We'll put it that way. I think it's good, a good way to do it, you know. So the second part of Jacob is that when he's having like a meal, roast chicken, green beans, Yorkshire pudding, potatoes, eats all the sides first, but also eats them separately, one of the time, like a child, brackets, sipses words, loll. I don't mix things. So it's just like individual. It's just the potatoes, then just the beans, then just the Yorkshire pudding, leaving the

chicken for last. A lot of people do that. I know if I have a plate of food and there's like broccoli and then everything else, I'll scarf down the broccoli first for two reasons. First of all, it's probably going to be the worst part of the meal. Like it's going to be, no matter how you do broccoli. I do some broccoli pretty well. My kids love the broccoli. It's not going to be as good as a cheese sauce with some breadcrumbs on broccoli. It's kind of nice. Nah, it's cauliflower, maybe. I do that with cauliflower. You can, you can, you can spruce up broccoli big time, but just eat it on it. I like broccoli. Of course, but I'm just saying it's rare that you will have a plate of food and the best thing about it is the broccoli. Like, that's a pretty boring plate. You know what I'm saying?

So I'm saying, I'll get that broccoli down me first. While I'm really hungry, I went to have to force it down. That's what I'm saying. I also part of me thinks, Is loading that into the stomach first, like putting the bullet on the front of a shell? Because all the other food goes behind the broccoli, and the broccoli is like, out of the way, going down the bowels, doing its job, and the rest of it can come on out smoothly. I see it's acting like a wire brush, kind of clearing out the airport. It's not getting down there that quick. It's the tungsten tip.

It's got to get in there. It's got to digest and everything. Like, there's no way that it's getting in, it's not getting further than that until you're like, when you're sleeping. That's when all that shit is happening, you know, like long after you've eaten. So you don't have to worry too much about that. Jack here is more of a Sipsian diner. Sausage egg chips side of toast will have one little bit of sausage, one bit of egg white, one bit of egg yolk, one or two chips, a bit of toast, all onto one fork.

So they all go in together. It's a lot harder. He says it's a lot harder with a big meal like a Sunday roast. You might have 10 different objects. He wants to try and get a little bit of each one in there. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

So that's a little bit of OCD coming through. Strategically, though, like you said about the broccoli, I wouldn't just eat broccoli on its own. Like broccoli, as much as I like it, is a mixer. There's certain things that, like, you could just eat on their own. Like, chips I'll just eat on their own. Like, I don't need to mix chips. I like to mix chips.

Don't get me wrong. But I can just eat them on their own. And if I have too many things on the plate, I'll leave, like, chips maybe alone a little bit throughout. Because I know I can just eat those on my own. but like broccoli, sprouts, fucking carrots, like all that, all that kind of stuff is, it gets mixed. Potatoes, like, if it's not chips, if it's just like mashed potatoes or whatever, that's all getting mixed. Because everything just tastes better when it's all mixed up.

So, so, I'm sure that's show this, right? There is an element here of wanting to savor the nice things, right? But the nice things is always going to be different, right? So, for example, if you have, if you take it to the extreme, you know, and you disassemble your meal and you eat every part of it separately, you know, have a little pat of butter, you have a little pile of chili sauce. You know, that some of these things are actually horrible to eat when they're so strong. A little patel butter. A little patel butter. One little drop of hot chili sauce. Excuse me, waiter. Please bring me one little pet of butter. Have you ever been to a pub where they, where you've ordered like a Coke and they've given you like Coke syrup straight out of that Coke. oak gum. Yeah. And you're like, ugh, what the fuck?

And it's like super syrupy and strong. And my dad did this when I was a kid, you know, he would just drink cordial, not realizing it was needed to be diluted. You are kidding me. For real. And this happened to me the other day, I was in a restaurant and I ordered like a black iced tea or whatever, and it came, it was clearly just a syrup because it was very thick and sugary. Obviously, they get this order so infrequently, or the person who prepared it, like, didn't realize.

They just pulled it out, the plastic jug, you know. But this thing was clearly supposed to be diluted, sort of 10 times. And so I had one sip of it, and I was like, oh, my God, I cannot drink this even close. It's like barely getting up the straw. But you're describing now normal eating. This is the weird eating episode. No, but what I'm saying is that that, I think I talked about this to previous podcast, that is so rich. And it's supposed to be delicious, but it's actually horrible.

So you have to dilute it, you have to have it with other things, like you can't eat raw, you can't have chili sauce, you need, you need to put chips or you can't, that's a condo I would say you don't have to have one of everything on your plate together each time. Oh, I see. Because that's what, I'm saying, if you're saying combining chips with ketchup is some kind of wild tape, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that some, for some people, it is a little unusual to go, right, I got to have a bit of everything. That's, to me, is as obsessive.

So, condiments are basically the cordials of food. Exactly. You just, you dilute them. Unless you're my four-year-old daughter who likes to use her finger to eat ketchup directly. Hell yeah. She's like, can I have some sauce? And you think, okay, cool. Yeah, she just wants a bit of ketchup to have with her, whatever.

No, she just eats the ketchup. Yeah, a friend of mine was eating a sausage roll yesterday. Oh, yeah. They literally got a teaspoon of Coleman's mustard, English mustard, just had a teaspoon of it. like in a dollop on the end of the sausage roll and just went for it and then, you know, had a bite next dollop of mustard.

They went through like half of a jar on one sausage roll. When you say a friend, do I know this friend? You know this friend, yes. All right, can you tell me and we'll beep the name out? It's . Well, he doesn't have a very good sense of smell.

So I think he's, for him, it's like, Oh, I've got to see that. Next time I'm going to see that. A dollop of Coleman's mustard would absolutely, my head would blow up with the death start. I was watching it, like, eyes goggling, honestly while it was happening. I would imagine. All right, anyway, this one's from Connor.

There's someone that I work with who eats pears in such a way that me and the other guys can only describe it as deep throating whilst cupping the balls. Oh, my God. I don't know about you guys, but personally, I eat peers in a similar way to how you'd eat an apple. You hold it sideways, use the top and the bottom to grip and eat. Exactly. This guy cups the pear around the thickest part at the bottom, breaks. off the stem at the top and then proceeds to put his mouth around the smaller penis-shaped part and take it all in at once. We cannot stop laughing whenever he does this. No, that is weird.

Now, I have a friend who eats the entirety of apples and heads. Is it beep again? No, it's a different person. But they, they, they, they, it's astonishing again to watch that they seem to, they, I think they have a history where they were restricted on the food they could eat. Oh, it's. They weren't allowed to eat, and there was a problem, like, I think they were in hospital. Prison. And so now, whenever they get an apple, they have to hide the evidence they were given an apple. You see what I mean? So they have to eat every single, like...

Wait, can I guess who this is? And you can beat my guess and beat Lewis's answer. You can. Is it... No. But it's kind of roguish, in a sense. Like, it's not all fruits as well. It's only certain ones.

And the first time I saw them, like, you know, eating all the crunching up all the apple pips. I was like, I'm not sure you're supposed to really eat very many apple pips because they've got some poison in them, haven't they? No, I don't think they do. I think you have to have like 10,000 apples to get poisoned with it or whatever. Yeah, I knew a kid at school who used to eat the core and stuff. And when you're a kid and you're not used to that, the first time you see somebody eating the whole core, you think, Jesus Christ, like, why is he eating the entire core?

But then you just move on quick and you just think whatever. Yeah, even the stem, though, like, like, kind of. It's weird, yeah. It's, you know, but wherever floats your boat, I think maybe there's like a proud likeness to it, you know, of like, like the Indians using the whole animal, you know? Yeah, maybe. Nothing goes to waste. Maybe. Although I feel like, I feel like that stem is getting pooped out.

No one's digesting that. And that can't be good for you to like, eat things you can't digest, right? That's going to, that's going to, that's going to scratch your, your behole a little bit when it's coming out. Oh, no, what if it's like sticking out of the poop a bit or something, you know? Okay. Well, maybe that's good. Yeah. No, I don't think it is good. That's what I'm saying. I think it's bad. I think be careful out there. You never know. So, here we go. This person moving along. Moving along. Something I didn't realize was weird until college is that I chew my drinks.

I thought it was normal until one day in college when the girl sat next to me asked what I was doing after I'd taken a sip of my drink. She said you could hear me chewing it. It was at that point I realized it was weird since the whole class then took the piss out of how I would chew my drinks. Thing is, what is the point in a nice tasting beverage if it slides right down your gullet? At least my way, you get to savour the taste for longer. Also, if it's a carbonated drink, I find it stings my throat if I don't chew the fizziness out of it beforehand. All right, Lewis, that is a different, Lewis. Let me tell you something. The longer you hold it in the mouth, the more the bubbles will go. We're not all just opening our throats and like trying to down it as fast as possible. No. But you don't have to work your teeth up and

down, which is chewing, that is weird, especially since you're not actually doing it, you're just sloshing it around in your mouth. Very, very, very odd. Yeah, I think people who, you're not a professional sommelier, you know, you can't just swish the wine around and you're fucking, and spit it out. Like, you know, I, I, I, yeah, what's the thing I saw recently? I think someone said, um, if water tastes bad to you, it's a sign of poor dental hygiene. Right. Because you're picking up rotted gum flavor along with you. Yeah, I think you probably should visit

the dentist, you know. I think maybe just hide it, just do your best to not chew, obviously. It's weird. That's a weird one. That's a weird one. Thank you, Lewis. So this is a weird recipe. Nicholas's friend Alexi has some weird

food habits. One of them is he has a burger, so he's got the bun, got the patty, got some cheese, got some lettuce on top of there. But he also puts rice and black olives in there, which is a bit odd. And there is a picture of it here. I'll spare it for you. It's just a picture of a burger with some rice on it. That is odd. But you know what the funny thing is, I feel like sometimes people aren't quite sure, certainly outside Asian countries and, you know, that's South and East, what to do with rice a lot of the time?

Because one of my friends, who I was hanging out with yesterday, we had some prawn crackers and they load up the prawn cracker with rice and they eat it that way. That doesn't sound too bad. It's pretty weird, though. No, that's wrong. That's like loading up your, you know, nacho chip with a potato, mashed potato. Well, if you guys have like a curry with a non-bread, do you put like, do you rip a bit of your non-bread off and then scoop up like a bunch of rice and some dry rice?

Some dry rice. yeah. Not dry rice, no. No, well, dry rice and nonbread, no. No. That's madness. But you wouldn't just have plain rice and non. The whole point of the non is that it goes with the sauce, right? Yeah, you have a limited amount of this dry stuff. I'd have plain rice, like, if that's all there was.

Yeah, but you hate food. Yeah, I would still, I would still have to eat it. I need food if that's all there was. We're not, but you don't go to a curry restaurant and order a bowl of plain rice. They usually, you have the rice to soak. Soap up the kind. Okay, what if you order, like, a whole bunch of beautiful plain rice to have with the sauce, and then you got the sauce and you didn't really like it.

So you were like, oh, well, I guess I'm just eating plain rice. Now, the prawn cracker and rice thing is meant. The gnawn is really there to replace a knife and a four. Like, you use the narn to eat the curry with because that's like the way of getting it to your gob. Rather than saying, well, I will take this narn, load it with plain rice and eat it that way. Like, that is a bit weird. So the weird thing to you is that you have plain rice full stop. You're against plain rice.

With what? With nothing, it's plain rice. So I'm boiling rice. I'm not adding anything. I serve the plain rice and I eat it. Yeah. That's what we're talking about. Is it not?

Right. Why would you do that? This guy has access to just plain rice. We're talking about serving the plain rice with a side of brown rice. Oh. Do you mean? Like, or get a slice of white bread and having that with your rice. having a rice sandwich.

It's white bread. Having a bread sandwich where it's brown bread, white bread, brown bread, and eating that. Yeah, and you put some rice on the top. Right, you know. But just to put some plain, okay, but the thing is like, what is the, it's psycho? You're saying he's putting plain rice on a, on a, was a prawn cracker? No, no, so my friend puts it, has the prawn cracker and uses it like a shovel to load up.

But that's like having a crisp and dipping it in mashed potato. And although some people will do that, I understand that some of you animals do that, but that is no way to conduct yourself. But what else was on offer at the time, though? Like, what was available to him? Well, exactly. This is the thing. What do you mean?

What do I mean? What the fuck was he eating? He's having a Chinese meal. Right. So what's in it? I want to know. What else was there? He wasn't, the only option wasn't just those two things.

Right. Of course, if you had only those two things and you were on a desert island, And this is what I'm trying to find out. It's simple. Why is it so difficult? What else was there? I see. I don't know.

I just saw him doing that. He had a Chinese meal. He had all his stuff. What do you mean you don't know? You were there. I saw him do that. I didn't watch the rest of him the time he was eating like a hawk waiting from to slip up. I just saw that.

Fucking hell. Let's move on. This is from Z games. Had a manager in a shop I worked in who would bring a banana. banana in, leave it upstairs on the office for over a week until the whole skin went dark brown, then peel part of the skin back and eat the squidgy banana gloop inside with a spoon. That is gross. I hate that.

That's not allowed. That is instant dismissal with no benefit. What about scooping it out with a prawn cracker? Again, I don't think it's a close one. It's like having a banana sandwich. Here's another one that I had this conversation recently with a very, very good family friend of ours about the way to eat bananas. And I know that bananas seem to be one of those things that a lot of people have weird ways of eating. The way I always eat them is I hold it at the bottom with a sort of blackened bit where it connects to the, I don't know what that bit is.

It's like the anus of the banana that bit. I break off the stalk at the top and I peel the banana down and then I hold the bottom of the banana. I eat it. When I get to the very bottom, I pull out that last bit, pop it in my mouth, and throw the rest in the bit. That's what I do. I chuck out the last bit sometimes. So what do you do with the pinched-off anus bit at the top?

Oh, well, that goes. Like, there's this weird bit of the banana. So imagine that the shape of a banana with the classic bit with the stalk at the top. That I'm pin, I'm snapping that and peeling down. You snap that and it bruises the top of the banana slightly. It does sometimes. It does sometimes. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

So you're eating a banana like 99% of people eat bananas where you, you, you, you, you, Sometimes you have to dig your nail in or get a knife to open them. So my friend made the point that what you can do is use the stalk to hold the banana, like almost like a lollipop, and then you eat it from the other end. And I was like, yeah, that's interesting. This is a very, this is the way monkeys eat bananas. If you squeeze that anus end of it, it pops open much more easily. But you do, you are confronted with that little brown bit on the end.

And some people I know love eating that bit, fucking psychopath. Animals, yeah. I sort of always awkwardly remove it and, like, put it to one side, and then I've got banana gula over my hand. But then you can enjoy the rest of the banana. But I mean, so, you know, bananas. I rarely, I tell you what, I rarely resort to that, but because normally I'd rather, but sometimes you have a slightly green banana and it won't open easily. And if you've cut your nails or something, you don't have a knife, you can't get that in the open. I like when they're slightly green.

Like, they're firm. I don't like a goopy banana. Like, if it's too goofy, here's the other thing, if it, there's a point where banana is just the right level of moist. If it goes too far into like the blackened skin of the banana where it looks like it's going to die, it's kind of dried out at that point. Yeah. And if it's too ripe, it's also kind of mealy and a little too dry. It's got that that plasticy taste to it, I think, or whatever it is, like that, that taste of the skin. I did. Quite a few people saying they eat baked beans raw from the tin or they just eat

raw baked beans. I think it's pretty gross. I wouldn't do it. I like them cooked. Again, I mean, at a push, I would do it. But like, if I had the ability to heat them up, I would heat them up. I don't think it's going to kill you to eat them straight of the tin. They're already cooked. They're already, they've already been cooked. I think the beans themselves, like the Heinz beans are, again, I think something that is so highly flavored that eating it on its own is a problem for me. It's so sugary and like, you know, whereas I think you can get less nicer beans. Like if you go to tapas restaurants,

sometimes have those big ones, and they're not as like, they're not as beany as the high cheap and shoes as the beanie and Heinz ones. And so I feel like they are edible cold and I'm fine with it. And I have eaten baked beans cold, but I'm not a fan. No.

So let's move on. This is Todd. Works at a pizza pasta restaurant in New Zealand. These are some of the orders that Todd has received. A customer adds banana and anchovies to a Hawaiian pizza. That's pretty gross. Where can you even get that from? I mean, it doesn't seem like it would be on the menu for a start.

I don't know how this works. About once a week, a regular orders a chicken cranberry brea pizza and adds Caesar dressing. That's disgusting. Do you know what that sounds very normal? That's like a press sandwich. It does not a pizza. That's the point. Chicken cranberry.

What is it? Chicken. Cranberry brie, so that brie with cranberries in, for some reason. Cranberry brie, lovely. Caesar dressing on top. That is a bit weird. The Caesar is a bit of an odd choice, but obviously they found that it works for them. Yeah, requests that they're pasta to have no seasoning whatsoever.

So they just get pasta. No bacon, no Parmesan, whatever the white wine sauce is, plain water. So it's just completely plain water and some boiled chicken. What the fuck? That's how they have. Why are you leaving your house for this? You can do that at home. You can really do that at home.

You can knock out for pennies. Yeah. Yeah. It's maybe they do. I mean, even with toppings and stuff, like I wouldn't ask for anything like out of the way at a restaurant. Yeah.

Or even if I ordered something. Like if I wanted to add bananas and anchovies to a pizza, I would make sure I had bananas and anchovies at home. Oh, you'd smuggle them in. Order the pizza and then I'd put them on myself if I wanted. to do that. You know what I mean? You're in a restaurant. You bring in a little, a little tiny box. No, God, no, I never would. He's doing it. He's doing it again. He always does this. Looking over each shoulder, then opening the box and taking out pre-slice pieces of banana and anchovy.

Yeah, I'd like to put over the pizza. Scooping out banana goop with a, look, he's doing it. He's going for his little banana. He thinks we can't see a secret banana and antipies. Yeah, I wouldn't do, I wouldn't, I wouldn't ever do anything like that. I would just, I would just order what's on the menu and and eat it. And if, if that was a problem I would stay home. So there is a very common autistic issue called sensory processing disorder where I think people have a desire for consistency and there's this food aversion to strong flavors of taste. So I think I have seen people order a plain bowl of pasta, plain bowl of rice and things like that before because it's very reassuring and it's a comfort food.

And so I think that this stuff is not abnormal, but I think that these people who, are doing this, do have to have supplements and things like this because you're not going to get if you're just eating boiled chicken and boiled pasta, that's going to be it's not going to, it's not, it's not the rainbow of flavors you need to

eat every day to keep your body. But again, I would just stay home if I was, that's what I was looking to eat. I mean, that's so easy to make. You don't even need to. Well, but sometimes you're out about. Sometimes, you know, you know, not everyone can stay home all the time,

Sips, like you, you know, sometimes people got, It's got shit to do. They've got people to visit and they have to, they go off to go on the road. They can't bring themselves a pasta boiler on the go. Yeah. A little rice cooker with them. They got to take their inconveniencing everybody else roadshow on the road.

Honestly, so here's the thing. I don't know if you've ever been into a restaurant in the last year, but everyone is an inconvenience. I mean, I go out with a group of four people and one person is gluten free, one person's vegan, one person's allergic to this thing. And that's all me, do you know, and then the next person is, you know, can't eat this. the next person is this like you know and so it is a nightmare

and a lot of places are used to catering for very specific dietary crimes and quite honestly you know they're being paid enough so I guess so yeah

they can they can they should do their best to handle everyone and cater for everyone but honestly it's a nightmare now it's not like it used to be when we were young you know people just

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I've used it extensively. It's great. It's true. Secure your online data to. day by visiting expressvpn.com slash trifles. That's EXPR-E-S-V-P-N.com slash trifles to find out how you get up to four extra months for free. ExpressVPN.com slash triforse. On with the show. On with the show. So, this is from Cody. Was at university with a lad. This guy had a bit of a weird way of eating. He would emerge from his room only to indulge in the following meal approximately

three to four times a week. First, he would roast a packet of chicken drumsticks. Then he would microwave a curry ready meal. Then he would take a large food safe container that resembled a plastic bucket, combine the two meals together. That sounds pretty good. In all honesty, that's like, that's like taking a curry with like tandoor chicken and curry. I think that's absolutely fine. Fine. Yeah, I don't see a problem with that at all, Cody. It might be a bit of a, the preparation might be a little odd, but I think having cooked chicken in a curry is not unusual. No, not at all. But he did eat cold dolmeo pasta sauce directly from the jar. Again, I mean, if you're about to collapse from starvation, and that's all that there is.

Yeah, he's not playing Daisy, though, is he? I mean, this is why living in university. Right. Yeah, I'm sure someone's got some fucking microwave noodles he can have with that. You know, he doesn't have to, like, chow down on an entire fucking jar of smoked ham or whatever the fuck's going on. Indeed. This is from Gaping Vagina Havar, Hannah. That's her words, not mine.

As a very autistic person, having a full bowl of cereal and a nice glass of milk makes sense because you can get the perfect cereal to milk ratio. When you're almost finished, the last bits of cereal in the bowl aren't soggy. However, whenever I eat jelly, I put a big spoonful in my cheek and suck it between my teeth till it's not solid anymore. That is a bit odd. And they once vaped olive oil juice. Right.

That is a bit odd. So also, shout out to Hannah's boy. friend Basil who hates the podcast. Right. Oh, shut out. Wow, that's great. It's totally understandable. I think the...

I hate it too, right? I'm on it. The jelly thing... The jelly thing's messed up. You're in good company, Basil. The jelly thing's messed up. But if it worked, but that's almost like a thing that you... It's like a little fun mouth-feel experience, you know, for you.

It's like a little adventure. It's like going on a roller coaster ride in your mouth. So you do you. As long as you're not doing it in public, that's, I think, you know, in a restaurant, I think it's going to, it's going to not go down so well. Well, I mean, if you're already asking for like fucking a million things that aren't on the menu, you might as well just be doing that shit in the restaurant as well. I mean, like, I think that's different.

You don't have to go to a restaurant, people. You don't have to go to one. Like, you can just, you can choose to not go to one. Even if you're out and about and you don't have a choice, you can still just go home. But often people aren't, you listen, Sips, you're the, you're the, Decision maker in your family. Not people aren't. Your wife is being dragged along.

I would love to hear Mrs. Sips' response to that comment. Everybody thinks they're the decision maker. Listen, I call the shots in this marriage. I'm the decision maker. I'd love to hear her response to that. Yeah. I'm just saying that a lot of people are in that position. They're being dragged along and they're being forced to go to the restaurants.

Are they? For social reasons, for all sorts of reasons, you know. I'll give you an example. Well, I have no choice now because I'm away for work for two weeks. I can't just go home. I have to eat what I can get. And we get takeaway every meal. We've got like an account set up with one of the takeaway dingies.

Sounds amazing. Yeah, it's good. I get like 80 quid a day to spend on food. I haven't gone over my limit once. I'm trying real hard, but I'm just eating for one. It's difficult. Anyway, this is from Alex. But when you order your food on the takeaway, you just order what's there, right?

You're just like, okay, I'll have that. Yeah, it's like a million things, but yeah, I just order whatever I want. Right. Just what have you, what have you, listen, we, I reckon we could spend that money, you know? Oh, no, easily. Get some chocolate cakes in. So the thing is, it's a lot cheaper here than it was the last time I did this, which was when we were in Seattle.

Actually, Copenhagen was similar. So last year I was in Copenhagen, we had the same setup. You're given a business account and they put credit into your account every day, and you spend that on your meals. Breakfast is included at the hotel. So you're only really doing lunch. dinner. So when I'm in Europe, you know, I can live like a king. I can have a really nice takeaway. 80 quid a day is a succulent meal. Every, every meal is a delicious succulent as I can

make it. But when I was in America, when we were in Seattle, which is the first time we did this, I could get a sandwich and a Coke for 80 bucks. And I'm not even exaggerated. It was that expensive. I will show you the receipts next time I'm in Bristol, the receipt for how much takeaway cost on Uber Eats in Seattle. And that's before groceries were down. Exactly. That's a long time before groceries were down. That was before, yeah. So here we go. This is from Alex. At lunch, he went to school in America. The pizza that was served in the canteen, it was like rectangular pieces of pizza. They didn't do a cell. It was like big sheet, baking sheet of pizza and they just cut you off a square. Every time I got the pizza, I would bite the edges of the rectangular pizza so that it would form the shape of the continental United States of America. For example, one big bite near the bottom right corner would form the Gulf of Mexico. Another couple bites would form the Great Lakes, series of nibbles would make the contours of the east and west coast, etc. Once I was happy with the shape, I would then imagine myself

as some kind of planet-sized monster devouring the country and tallying up the millions of people killed and eaten. Right. I think that's fantastic. Don't ever leave your house again. It's not safe out there. The cheese are the edges of the pizza slice we usually toasted to a darker color. In my mind's eye, these represent a higher population density than a lighter color cheese at the middle. That is amazing. I love that so much, Alex. That's not weird. That's awesome. I think this is the kind of thing which leads someone in a direction of doing that as their talent. They're now a TikTok star and they turn pizza, they bite pizza into art. It's like mashed potato art. It's like it's a form of that, I think. You got to be careful not to get dragged into it

as your career, you know? It's like, I'm a professional pizza cruncher now. By the way, this does remind me of when we went to Australia, they have a little habit in Australia of going to restaurants and you being able to order things by the meter. It's like a little gimmick. And we did it a couple of pizza places where we got a meter or multiple meters of pizza. And it comes on this, it's a sort of rectangular, but it comes on this long, you know,

running down the entire table. And I think we ordered, because they were like, wow, one meter will be enough for four of you or something like that. Right. So we ordered two meters and fucking so much pizza. Yeah, yeah. We had so much left over. It felt incredibly wasteful.

I feel like I can endlessly eat pizza. Like it's the one food where like I would never leave any behind. You know, I would just, I would finish it all. No matter how much was left, it would be like, oh, there's like still 20 pieces of pizza. Okay. I would eat them. But here I found a few other things that you can order by the meter. this is a meter long bratt worst

Bratverse What country are we in right now, sorry We're in Australia You can order a meter long burrito It's like look at this guy He's holding it It looks like a fucking newborn baby

But actually it's a meat A meter long burrito He says This thing kept three people fed for two days So I just like the idea of that You can order meter-long pasta, like in like ravioli, kind of in like those, like that flat strips, whatever it is, not ravioli. Lazzania.

Yeah, whatever. Long pasta. You can order stuff by the meater. I think it's green. You can even get like a kebab, a meter-long kebab. It's wasteful. This is from, I think I've pronounced this right, EFA from Ireland. Oreo cookies were a favorite of EFA when watching DVDs on every Saturday.

Her dad would pick up some snacks for her, she'd sit there and eat them. So this is how she ate them. Classic comfort food, sure. She would eat them with milk, pretty traditional. Yeah. But the combo was executed slightly differently. I would grab about five to six Oreos, small glass of milk and a spoon. I would then chew up the Oreos one at a time, but instead of swallowing, I would spit it into the milk.

After all the Oreos were transferred from my mouth into the milk, that's not right. I would take this spoon, mix it up a bit and eat it. I generally thought it was the most delicious thing ever, for the sort of pudding-like texture and would fill me with joy. The downside of the snack was I could only eat it in private. Yeah, indeed. Yeah, of course. Eventually matured into a 12-year-old and eventually stopped the chewing-up part

and would just crush them into the milk, but it never hit quite the same. That is disgusting. That's the first really almost made me gag one that we had yet. Just dunk them in there. Some people do a long dunk and let them go a bit soggy or whatever. That's fine too, but just a little dunk in. And then eat the damn cookie fucking hell. When you're a kid like that, you're just an animal.

Jeremy, it's like a dog eating son of the dog's shit or whatever. You just can't leave them on their own. They're revolting. What you're doing there is basically the job of a food processor, making a milkshake, an Oreo milkshake, right? But in your own mouth, which is, I guess it all ends up in the stomach like that anyway. But I just feel like this, the regurgitating nature of it that is, we're not, you know, you're not a mummy bird, you know, feeding a nest of chicks.

We don't need to do that. That, honestly, is the worst when we've had so far. It's made my mouth water a bit with how uncomfortable I feel about it. Gosh, well, here's one from Harrison that might turn your stomach yet further. Back in 2015, had just started attending a Catholic high school. Didn't know many people, but I quickly found a group of people to hang with. It was a lad called Connor had a strange way of eating Smith's branded salt and vinegar crisp. It was only these ones.

He would start by licking one side clean, then the other. Then he would put the whole chip in his mouth and pull it out. And once the chip was totally cleaned, he would then eat it. And he would do that with every single chip. Since I would always sit with this group at lunch, I picked up on his habit. I eventually called him out on it and asked, why do you molest your chips like that? Immediately after this, he became known as Connor, the chip molester. I think that's fair.

That is pretty fucking gross. That is awful. Fairly fucking gross. We've reached the gruesome ones, and I'm not happy about it at all. It'd be interesting to see whether or not Connor is currently serving a life sentence in jail or not. I feel like that's like... That's true. That might be the signifier. Yeah. I feel like it's like maybe like that was like a gateway into serial killing or something.

You know, like it's, you know what I mean? Yeah. Here's a quick fire one. Honey and Marmite on toast. Your thoughts. This is from Seb. No. Not for me.

No, absolutely not It might work Like the salty and sweet It might have You might have stumbled on the next big thing You know The hot honey is a big deal at the moment So what's that?

It's like the new flavor Yeah, what is it? Just honey warmed up I think Spicy honey not just warmed honey But spiced honey No no it's like spicy spicy Spicy honey

I see Microwave honey Chili chili but they're using it for like Everything from crisp flavors To Jaffa cake flavors and stuff And it's all over the place It's the new pumpkin spice latte, but I think it's going to die a very rapid death. Honey's expensive, man.

It's crazy. You ever seen like that manuka honey, like from, was it New Zealand or whatever? It's meant to have like some healing properties or something. I don't know, but like a little jar is like 20 bucks. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, so basically that is. They know their audience. Yeah.

That's a very, manuka honey is always, I've always hate it, but it's one of these things. Obviously, these have collected the pollen from manuka trees. That's what it is. And it's supposed to have things in it that are good for you. But I don't think it's actually particularly... Who fucking knows? What does RFK have to say about it? That's what I want to know.

Yeah. Let's get him on it. You got to eat the honey from the minutia tree. We don't eat vaccine. We've got to give people honey. You're in the pocket of big honey. Admit it. The bees have got to you.

This is from a tiny dick habit. It takes a whole deal pickle, big deal pickle. Choose on it without breaking the surface of the pickle. Okay. So, so masticating the pickle with enough pressure to damage the inside and turn it to liquid without breaking the outer skin. And we'll then break up at the top of the pickle with their teeth and drink the pickle juice. Sorry, you're going to hell. That's pretty gross.

You'll be in hell after this life. That's the only place that'll take you. That's disgusting. I can't believe that. Wow. That is a... Here's one from Josh. A couple of weird ones here.

Partner and brother-in-law are the guilty parties here. Whenever my partner's cooking potatoes, she will always cut off a piece and eat part of the potato raw. Oh. She said she likes the taste of them raw and will always cut multiple pieces off for herself. Now, that's a bit odd. That's a bit odd, I think. Because I don't know if it's not actually disgusting, but it's just, it's weird.

Yeah, that's weird. I think the, I think he's, It's fine, but again, it's one of these things that is indigestible potato, right? It has to be cooked. And so if you eat it, it won't be digested when it goes through you, and that can give you problems and discomfort. And also, it's got no nourishment value. Well, here we go.

Eating raw potatoes can cause gas, bloating and diarrhea because they're indigestable, resistant starch, lectins, and the compound solanine. Large quantities is actually top. toxic, so you shouldn't do it. Yeah, well, it's exactly. And the other thing, it's a similar thing with mushrooms. So, mushrooms, if you put mushrooms, raw mushrooms on top of a pizza, and you try and cook the pizza in the oven, that doesn't cook the mushrooms enough to soften them.

What's wrong with raw mushrooms? Well, the way pizzas are cooked in those, well, you're not really supposed to eat a lot of, some mushrooms you can eat raw, but a bunch of them you can't. Can my dog eat mushrooms? Yeah, they can eat them. Not too many. I think it's just like chocolate that you've got to avoid with dogs, right? Yeah.

They shouldn't really have a lot of chocolate or any for that matter. Follow up. Josh's brother-in-law eats Wattsits with a fork. Okay. What sits for international listeners are like Cheetos, basically. Yeah. Or whatever the Australian equipment. They're a bit softer than the-Chiots are quite crunchy, aren't they?

Yeah. It's mainly he doesn't want to get the dust on his fingers. Fair enough. But Wattsits are soft enough that you could, like, a Cheeto, I don't think you'd get a fork through. It would just shatter the Cheeto, you know? Maybe, yeah, they are quite spongy. Yeah. When I was a kid, we were very poor in the southern U.S.

This is from Joey. My dad would get a whole raw cabbage, take off the outer layer of leaves, leaving the inner meat. He would then grab the salt shaker, put it on the cabbage, and take a bite. And he would do that until only the core was left, and then he would throw it out. He would also grab a raw carrot out of the fridge, wash it, put salt in the palm of his hand, and rub the carrot into it, and munch it until it was gone. Really? My dad rarely drank, but during NASCAR season, he would sometimes buy a tall boy of Bud Light and put salt on the rim of the can. Really?

Damn. Looks like, yeah, he has blood pressure medication now, apparently, according to Germany, which is fair enough. But, yeah, that's a lot of salt. I do think raw cabbage, I haven't tried it, but it's probably fine. Since you don't really need to cook cabbage that much, if you think about you get a stir fry or something like that. I would recommend not really cooking cabbage unless you want your whole house to stink like gym socks. I do love cabbage though I do love cooked cabbage

I think it depends on the cabbage again it's probably more nutritious when it's cooked because it changes a lot of the stuff and I think the other thing is about it is you can I mean you could obviously eat it raw if you I think when you ferment it

into kimchi and stuff it breaks that does sort of it's very good for your gut as well probably help lower your fucking blood pressure as well Joe honestly like the green leafy vegetables are are the way absolutely

this is Sam's boy dinner according to his fiance. Right. Okay. Fridge, cold baked beans, mixed with salad cream in the tin, and then dunks slices of cheese into it. That's disgusting. That's pretty gross.

What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? So, what is talking about there? Like something that you eat when you're a student and then you just get a taste for it and it follows you into adult life or something? Yes. And when you imagine you come home late and you've got like, oh my God, I can't be asked to cook something proper or not have any food in.

you just open the tin of beans, put some salad cream and whatever the fuck he said. You know, I think, do you guys have this type, kind of like girl dinner, like type food? I don't have a girl dinner because I'm a man. I know, but there's a, girl dinner is like a phrase which means like a, like, it'll be like a plate with some peas on it and, you know, a piece of chicken and, and, you know. I don't understand why it's called a girl dinner. It's just shit. Don't dress it up as some, some, some, something that, oh, only girls understand this. It's dog shit.

Pull your fucking finger out and cook yourself. even just a bit of toast, just do something, not just eating this raw ingredients that aren't meant to go together. What's wrong with you? Yeah, it takes five minutes. I'd have told a store like some cereal or something. Just lazy. Yeah. Here is a collection of we've got to get through so many of these, literally. We've got to get through some there. This is Craig from Bournemouth. Shout out to Craig from Bournemouth. Lived all over. No, no the good bits, but he's lived all over. He's just listed them all. Weird eating habits. A friend in his 60s eats wheatobics with butter. So he butters it like toast and dunks it in his tea. I think that could be a secret

hack, life hack, unlocked. Honestly, because I'm going to try that when I get back. People put like spread jam on Wheatabix. I think I might like that. Apparently, he puts jam on at Christmas. So there you go. Right. My dad in his 60s dunks buttered toast into tea in the morning. So butter is toast and then dunk it in his tea. That's pretty disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. I did have a rice. cake yesterday that was, um, and I didn't realize it had been buttered and I took a bite of it and it was like all cold and wet. And I thought, I thought the person I took it from had like drooled on it or spilled on it or something, but I realized it was just the butter on

a rice cake. It was horrible. Can't recommend it. Yeah. You ever had a marmite rice cake? It wasn't very good. I don't mind a rice cake. No, a marmite rice cake. What about a chocolate covered rice cake? Those are pretty good. Well, you don't like it when you put butter on a rice cake. You're like, ugh. No, I don't. I think personally, I wouldn't put butter on a rice cake. It's one of them sugar-free, sugar-free, fat-free, salt-free rice. You know, the most fucking basic bitch white rice cake. The only thing that makes it

edible is a little bit of spread on top. I know. I just don't like the rice cakes. I think it's they're all right. They're pretty boring, aren't they? I think rice cakes feel like diet food for women who are trying to lose weight. Yeah. Like when Homer I have a rice cake. I like them, though. I would eat, I eat rice cakes. I like them. Yeah, they're good. Yeah. I don't like the flavored ones.

I like to put something on it, but what are you going to do? Give me some, give me some, like, gracimoli on it or something. Cream cheese is quite nice to have. Walk me up. Hummus. Get me some hummus. Yeah. Hummus on a rice cake.

I don't think I've ever tried that. Oh, man. Just some hummus with some breadsticks. This podcast is just, you know, serving up goal after goal for us to, you know, try out later on in that. Pizza with a knife and fork, by the way, it's quite a common thing. I'm getting emails about pizzas with an knife and fork. Look, it's not that bad. If it's too hot, you got to.

Yeah, if it's really harder, if it's, you know what? Some restaurants you go to, they don't fucking slice the pizza. So you've got to use a knife and fork to cut it. And at that point, I'm like, look, this thing's kind of falling apart anyway. I'll just fucking go in with the knife and fork. Yeah, it depends on the pizza here. Like, if we're talking about a big dish pie. If it's loaded up to the gills with toppings and you can't pick it up yet.

Yeah, really hot and oily. I don't want to get it on my clothes. I've eaten a burger that was too loaded with. the knife and fork before. Like, it was just, it was pissing me off so much that all the stuff was like leaking out of the burger onto my hands and stuff that I just ate the rest of it with the knife before. Yeah. I mean, even like the, I saw we had some pizzas last night at this, this do.

And I watched Duncan eat, like, it looked like the most cartoon pizza slice you've ever seen, do you know what I mean? And he just held it up, like, and I ate it. And I saw, like, all the grease from the pepperoni and stuff was, like, dripping and like narrowly avoiding dripping on him. I was like, oh, my days. Yeah, I don't like that is. Oh, my days.

I was like, oh, my, say, he's going to get greets all over his new clubber in it. Oh, my day. I'm sorry, that's got into my vocabulary for some reason. I just find it so amazing to say. I do like, oh, my days. So, this lad, two hula hoops, the crisps, and would take a starburst, or for older people, an opal fruit, and put it between the two hula hoops like a sandwich. And would sometimes do this with the wrapper still on the starburst.

That is weird. What the hell? What do you do with the rap? Why? It's just it out. Just eats it. You swallow the waxy wrapper. You're just not supposed to be in that.

It's plastic. So I were full of microplastics. Well, what are you doing? Just a weird little kid, he said. Honestly, that is a fucked up one with the whole hula hoops. That's like too much.

Yeah. Even putting a starburst inside a hula hoop on its own without the wrapper is pretty weird. And then with the wrapper just like tips it right over into. I'm just very unhappy with that whole process. Yes. No. How about this post-gym? This is from Matt. This is a post-gym bodybuilders sandwich called the Super Sandwich.

All right. So here's what goes in it. Peanut butter, tuna, mayonnaise, garlic, lettuce, and spinach all in a sandwich. Run me through that one again, please. So you put, you put bread down, then you go, yeah. I'm imagining you could get a baguette, right? Yeah. Cut it open.

Okay. Inside that, peanut butter all up and down the side. Some tuna, a bit of mayo, some garlic, stuff. Lettuce and spinach in there and eat. Okay. So what's this garlic thing? What's this idea of garlic? It's related to the onion.

It's like a bulb that grows in the ground. You take it out and it's quite delicious. What you just, how much are we putting in? I don't know. He doesn't give a fucking recipe. Lulu, he's just listing ingredients.

As much as you like, add garlic to taste. All right? Add garlic to taste. Who's ever said that? That's what recipes say. I'm trying to help you out here. You ask me how much?

I don't fucking know. You go to a restaurant and they're like, would serve like some more. garlic to taste? Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Garlic is never served as a condiment anywhere.

It is in bodybuilding dad's sandwich shop, all right? Look, the lettuce and spinach. I mean, there's not much space left by the sounds of it. If you've already added peanut butter, tuna, mayo, garlic. Also, tuna and mayo is tuna mayo. Just make the tuna mayo. Yeah, and also, why you added spinach and lettuce? Make your mind up.

Yeah, make your fucking mind up. One of them's plenty. Like, you know, lettuce and spinach? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe like spinach and rocket or something. that combines nicely? No.

Lettis and spinach. It's not. Don't get your greens. Yeah. So that's a lot of greens, I guess, but. Have your lettuce on the side? Yeah. This is from Rob.

This is porridge. This is the majority of his intake is with this meal. Fill a salad bowl, which is larger than a pasta bowl, with a mound of chunky oats, sliced banana and about a pint of milk. Right. Microwave for 15 minutes at a thousand watts. What are you doing? You're looking for...

This is how to make like a volcano. Crusty exterior. And the milk basically begins to caramelize. It will look like a slice of brain. Pour on another pint of milk and stir. If you haven't burned the oats, this will rehydrate the mixture. And it will now be fluffy, top with granola for some crunch. That is insane.

Yeah. Insane. That is actually insane. Well, first of all, I think oatmeal depends. If it's the rolled oats, like, you get the ready breck oats that come in a powder, then that is going to be very processed. So it's actually quite well. Is it high GI?

Whichever one it is that gets processed quickly by your body. Whereas like the more coarse oats, which I think is what he's going for here, the steel cut oatmeal, is much more hard to cook. And so maybe that's why it's taking so long to go through in the microwave. As a result, it's like more,

it digests more suddenly and it's less caloric. I think I guess most of the calories are coming from the milk and the banana, but it's not very fattening. Like, it's not much calories. And if that's most of what you're eating in the day, you should eat some vegetables as well, my dude, or some fruits. I feel like one small bowl of oatmeal is enough.

Not a salad bowl. I mean, that's a lot of oatmeal. That's too much. And his wife hates it, apparently, which is fair enough. Yeah. All right, peanut butter with hot sauce. I'm sorry I'm giving such a hot take on every single one of these. No, feel free.

That's the point of this podcast. This is a special podcast. You get your peanut butter, you toast, and then you put hot sauce on top. Why? I mean, it tastes like a Vietnamese sub. Right. It might work. I think that might genuinely work.

It's, yeah, like... Because it's almost like a satay sauce you're making there. Yeah, it's like having a pad tie. I don't think that's too bad. Like a pad tie on toast, but without the noodles. So, yeah, fair play. A pad toast. Yeah, pad toast.

There you go. Now you've got a name for it. I'm going to make some pad toast. Oh, my God. I think that might work. Peanut butter and... And chili sauce? Yeah, I could do it.

There's had a few of these people who eat the entire strawberry, including the leaves and the stems. Right. Again, I get it. Like, some people crutch down on those water venom seeds. Right. They're crazy. I spit them all out.

I spit them out. And peanuts eats the whole thing, shell and all. No. You're not supposed to do that. No. Even the monkeys don't do that. I mean, so take a lesson from nature. What about the elephants?

Do they eat the whole thing? I think they eat the whole thing. You eat like an elephant, mate. I mean, the thing is, like, a peanut to an elephant is like a fucking sesame seed to them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. They're just licking up a pile of those sesame seeds. Elephants don't actually eat peanuts, though.

I don't know. They do in the cartoons, and that's all I'm going by, so. I'm sure they'll go in and grab a handful of them. I don't go for anything. A trunk, a snout full of them, a trunk, whatever. It's a snout at the end of the trunk, I guess, right? It's like a little snout. I don't know what they do.

It's like a little, it's like a couple of fingers that can pinch. Right? It's like semi-prehensile. Yeah. They use it to like put food into their actual mouth. Like they're not like, it's not like a vacuum cleaner for peanuts. I don't think they're grabbing peanuts with that thing. They suck them up and then they shoot them out. Like a machine gun, yeah, like that. All right. So a weird eating habits. Tim's dad was a single dad with three kids.

So he's trying his best here, but he obviously doesn't know what to cook. Peaches with fish sauce. Well, which is like the fish sauce that you'd add if you've ever put a reason too. The mystery has been solved. We know why Tim's dad was single. Yeah. Sushi on toast, he would serve. Right.

And Christmas ham curry, which sounds a bit odd. But most dinners consisted of potatoes, rice, and pasta with nothing else. And he would send them into school with sandwiches made of leftovers. So some favorites were sliced sausage with tomato sauce and too much butter. That sounds amazing. That sounds like a meatball sub. That sounds fucking great. Bolognese and curry sandwiches, which is a bit odd.

Sometimes it would literally be a salad sandwich. So just a sandwich with leaves in. Or potatoes, just potatoes or plain past. Listen, this man sounds like a genius, an unsung. He sounds like a experimental, like experimental chef, you know. He needs his own experiment. Do you know what I watched? I remember watching like a video.

from Ashton's where he bought this toasty maker this was this fucking years ago. And he would try and make basically sandwiches out of anything in it. And I remember he was making like, he made a Tesco, he got like a pre-made sandwich and made, put that in a

sandwich. Do you know what I mean? He made in the toasty maker. So it was a chicken sandwich toasted sandwich. And he made one with like ice cream. He made one with all sorts of nonsense things. And most of them were good. I feel like a lot, you can put a lot of shit between two slices of bread and warm it up and it turns out fine.

Do you know, one thing I absolutely hate is when you buy one of those pre-made sandwiches, they always come in that little triangular cardboardy with the window. And if you look in the corner of the window, sometimes some moisture builds up there. And then more so, sometimes it'll like make the bread soggy, like the crust of the bread and stuff. And it's just like, it triggers me so much. Like, if you've ever had a hamburger on Wonderbread as a kid before, and you'll know that the juicy burger just like makes the, the Wonderbread was not made for burgers, you know, like, it's, it's, it just goes instantly pink and soggy. It's disgusting. It's got no, no structural integrity. I mean, it didn't happen often, but there's, there's, there's, there's definitely on occasion, some Wonderbread was used for burgers when I was a kid.

And man, it just triggers me off the planet. Like, I'm just, I'm in, I'm in outer space. I fucking. hate soggy bread. Like, it's so disgusting. This is why I don't like eating bread out of the freezer. You've got to toast it. That's the point. My partner is all about getting bread out the freezer. We don't have room, actually. We don't have a big enough freezer. We used to, in Canada, we had a big chest freezer. We used to freeze bread all the time. Same boat. We got a small freezer, but if we get a nice loaf of sourdough and we're not going to get through it, we'll put it in the freezer and then you can just toast it straight out. Because I don't have sourdough un-toasted, I think it's so much better toasted.

Oh, yeah. You take it out, you defrost it essentially and toast it at the same time, and it retains its freshness. See, this sounds really sensible and probably is fine, but I've never been able to do it. I think it's because my nan used to just eat a piece of frozen bread when she wanted to snack, and just like it was a lollipop. Oh, my God, man. And I think she offered it to me and tried to convince me when I was a kid.

Was your, was your, she must have lived through at. at least World War II, but maybe World War I as well. She's quite old, wasn't she? No, she was, I think she was a, uh, um, yeah, but your parents. I think the, I think the older, the, like the older generations have some excuse for having weird eating habits or whatever, especially if you grew up post-World War II with, or even, you know, survived through World War II with, with rationing and stuff. I think, I think, I think there's more of an excuse.

I think nowadays, there's far less. an excuse. Do you know what I think it is? If you've grown up in the era when refrigeration became widely available, this is like a fascinating thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's frozen bread. Get you what a treat. So it's just like, shut. How about this guy's, this guy's Daniel. He eats packing peanuts. So there's stuff that things come packed in. Actual plastic. No, they're made out of cornstarch apparently. And you just pop them in your mouth for about 10 seconds, and then they just dissolve. It's packing peels.

That's disgusting. They've definitely been treated with some kind of chemical. You should not be doing this. You remember candy soap when you were a kid? They tasted like, they were actual sweets, but they just tasted like soap. Yes, I know the ones you mean. Yeah. This is the problem.

I think they shouldn't have been called peanuts, right? You're right. Very confusing. Because that's made stupid people, like your friend, think that they're edible. I'm not my friend. I mean, this is why I've got a problem with eating nuts and bolts. I've been eating nuts and bolts for years. Well, there's a nut, isn't it?

Yeah. It's like, well, it's just metal nut. Yeah, it's just a lovely nut. I don't know what treat it comes from, but fuck it ill. It's delicious. Let it dissolve in your mouth. It takes about a million years. That's off my days.

That's a good point. All right, this is Joel. I'm boshing through these. I'm driving straight over here. Joel and his sister would make plowed field on their dinner plates. So you get mashed potatoes and baked beans. You put the mash into a square. You drently drag the top of the square to make it look like a plowed field.

And then you put beans in to look like seeds. That is insane. How long are you sitting at the damn dinner table to do this? Wow. So you've eaten everything on your plate? Well, I better make plowed field then. At least it's something to do. My cousins, I had my cousins.

I met them. I think once in my life, but their parents were very, very religious. I don't know if this is related, but they, if they didn't finish their dinner, that was their breakfast the next day. So, like, no matter what it was, if they left food on their plate, that's what they had to eat for breakfast the next day. I always thought that that was mad. I hate that. It's disgusting. I always thought that was insane. Kids' appetites are weird. You're enforcing adult appetites on a kid when you're like, you're going to eat everything on that plate. First of all, it makes some hate food. And second of all, a lot of kids will be starving hungry some days and they won't want to eat anything the next day.

No kids going to let themselves go hungry. That's all I mentioned that they're very religious, not because I think that every very religious person does that. I think more I'm thinking it sounds like there's a level of discipline that is just beyond anything I've ever known. So I figure it has to have something to do with maybe the religious side of it as well, like the regimen of being religious. It's in a thing is, Luke 17, chapter, Luke 1743. Thou shalt not finish all thine dinner. Thy crusts are holy to the Lord and shall be consumed. Thou shalt not leave thy vegetables till last.

I mean, I guess it's a good way to reduce food waste, but, um, God. Give your kids less food. So you wake up and you just think, oh, man, I could really go from some cereal, but nope, it's meatloaf for breakfast, like what? Fucking awful. Yeah, and like half of one as well. Like, uh, yuck. Yeah.

Uh, so we do one final episode, one final one to end on, and we'll call it a day. Yes. Make it a good one. He's digging deep. So here we go. This is, uh, Auntie Susan. This is a weird diet. She described herself as an hour for.

So we had an orological diet, which was hour based. So she ate specific things at certain times of the day that match the hour on the clock. All right? So, for example, at 1 p.m. She'll only eat thin, sink. single-stick foods, a carrot stick, a breadstick, or a single chip. At 3 p.m., she'll only eat three piece foods, for example, a BLT, so three exact stacked layers. At 7 p.m., she must shape her food into a 7 before eating it. So rice or cereal poured into a 7 shape, or a banana, which she claims

looks like a 7. And at 12, she would blend 12 ingredients into a smoothie and chug it silently while staring at the clock, because she only gave herself one minute to eat her food. She claims She claims it kept her in sync with the universe's digestive rhythm. Right. Okay. I love that. That is, I love it, and I love the grind. Yeah.

And it's like you're playing a little mini game every day with your food. However, you need to seek professional help. Yes, Auntie Susan gets some help. She also got Nick for drink driving five years later. So fair enough. Let's get you to a therapist. We're going to get you some help. We're going to get you the help you need.

Don't worry, it'll be at 4 o'clock or whatever time you need it to be. Sometime when you're not eating. team, thank you so much. That was a fun episode. God, that was great. That was really great. Do not keep them. No, do not keep them coming.

Do not. That is the end of weird eating. We will find something else. Stop them coming. We don't want them. I'm going to ignore them henceful. No more weird eating. It's going to go straight in the bit.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. If you didn't make the cut, I apologize. Just imagine that we ate around you. Nice. The next one should be fun things to do on a long flight. Hey, let's not just. throw something out there because I'm going to get 50 emails about that.

We've got to take some time to really think this out, all right? I have, I thought it out. No, you haven't. You just tossed it out there. Willy-nilly. Things to do on a long flight. Not things to do on a long flight. Please do not send a few emails on that.

Don't tossy Willie out there. Oh, I picked all my toenails with my teeth or something. Exactly. Disgusting. We'll come up with something. Don't guess what it's going to be. We'll work on it. Don't guess.

All right. See you next time. All right. Bye. Bye. Hi, I'm Dan Marr, host of the Conversions podcast, where I invite a talented, inventive and uncompromising minds behind some of your favorite and soon-to-be-favorant indie games

to talk about what they do best. On each episode, I invite two members of the indie community, many of whom will be meeting for the very first time to share their journeys, their formative experiences, their successes and failures, their advice for aspiring indie devs, and no doubt lots of unrelated Waffle 2. I mean, this is a podcast after all. If this sounds like your cup of gin,

then subscribe to the Convergence podcast from wherever you choose to ethically source your podcasts.