Triforce! - Hard to Get Hard | Triforce Mailbag #60

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

Triforce Mailbag Special 60! In a world of soup dippers, massive bonfires and incessant warnings we have to ask: are we getting dumber? Sydney Sweeney is no good, UK Legislation makes browsing difficult. It's too hard to get hard now! Go to http://buyraycon.com/triforce to get 15% off sitewide. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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At participating restaurants in Canada When I found out my friend got a great deal On a wool coat from winners I started wondering Is every fabulous item I see from winners? Like that woman over there with the designer jeans. Are those from winners? Ooh, are those beautiful gold earrings?

Did she pay full price? Or that leather tote? Or that cashmere sweater? Or those knee-high boots? That dress, that jacket, those shoes. Is anyone paying full price for anything? Stop wondering. Start winning.

Winners, find fabulous for less. Welcome back to another mailbag, and we're going to jump straight into it with an email from a US Navy Sailor who also makes music in their spare time. And they say, when I heard you making jingles with that intro level loop maker, which I think I must have done at the start of the year. I was inspired to turn the mailbag jingle into a catchy 1980s-style synthwave remix. Nice. So he's done a couple of these. Yeah, thank you. This email, by the way, is from February and I just must have missed it. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing in February, but I missed this email. So here are the two remixes. This is the first one.

Two minutes and 13 seconds of 80s synths. You don't have to listen to the whole thing. We can listen to it a little bit at a time. But let's listen to the one that says mailbag short three to give you an idea of what we're up against. Okay. Okay. All right. Three, two, one. Play. honest welcome it's the mail back the male back here once again oh hang on I'm so sorry I'll be two seconds I just got you got to go this is really nasty the male boy okay oh this is like you know what this sounds like this sounds like um like cyberpunk music you know like you're in a big fight in the bar or something it's big it sounds

big it's big it's big it's a grand one it must be difficult for people to listen to this and know what's in the track because we talk to and over all over it sorry no it's all right so anyway i'm going to stop it i'm going to stop it but you get the gist um yeah i love that thank you so much that's really good as you americans like to say thank you for service thank you for your service Thank you for your service. Thank you so much for your service. I'm a love on that service. It's got a great, like, the midnight tea, you know, that, I love that vibe so much.

It's my favorite, favorite genre of music. Well done. What's his name? I don't know if I want to say, but he'll know. He'll know. He didn't say, don't say my name, but at the same time, he's a service personnel, presumably on active duty, so maybe he doesn't want to get. If you just give him a nickname.

Let's call him Hawkeye. Let's call him the, let's call them Hawkeye. Let's call him Big Beats Barry. Big Beets Barry, sure. Thanks, shit out of the Big Beets Barry, yeah. Big Beets Barry. Those big juicy synthy beats all over my chest. Yeah.

So a little bit of housekeeping from previous episodes. I like to do this to get it out the way. Rather than read out the whole email, if I've had lots of emails about one thing, I'll just go ahead and cover it. So criminal versus civil, which is a question that we asked in a previous mailbag, which is how come OJ got found innocent of the murder trial, but then was found guilty in the civil trial. Yeah. And to prove is different.

I knew that, for some reason, I'd forgotten it, whatever. You just need to prove that on the preponderance of evidence it was likely. Whereas with the murder, with the civil, with the criminal case, you need to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. And of course, if the gloves don't fit, you must acquit, as we all know. Yeah. So he got away with it. Or he was innocent, depending on your point of view. Yeah.

So here's one which is called hilarious. Crazy that he was innocent and he got away with it. And it's still an unsolved. Murder. Yeah, and that he wrote a book. They never found the person who randomly just murdered his ex-wife and her acquaintance. Yeah, yeah, completely motivated. And that he then wrote a book called If I Did It.

If I Did It, yeah. Yeah, fascinating. So here is one called hilarious ad break. During the middle of Lewis's rant about AI being trained by people on the internet, my podcaster cut to an ad for McAllister's Deli, I don't know what that is, where a woman discussed what she would like to eat and listed several popular options. for the restaurant. At the abrupt end of the ad,

without so much as a millisecond of silent airtime, Lewis chimes back in with fascist cunts. Best ad timing I've ever heard. Very good. That's the kind of timing we like around here. McAllister's Deli, Brandeal is off from now on. This one is from Marlon. That must be a very localized ad.

I guess, yeah. I guess I mean. I think they are a lot of the time now. You know, this is like the big thing now. localized advertising. Yeah, let's get back to that. Like, you know, get back to those crappy adverts done by, you know, local, you know, like Crazy Eddie. Do you need a used car? Come down to Mo's used cars. Come on down to Crazy Eddie's electronic goods. We got TVs. We got stereos. We got high fives. And the prices are insane. Yeah. There's a, there's a bunch of really good Tim and Eric

segments, like, like, you know, Steve Mahanahan's Crazy Clown Emporium and all that kind of kind of stuff, they do those really good. Free real estate, all of that stuff. They're really funny, yeah. So this is from Marlon, and he says, I've noticed parallels popping up between Tony Soprano and Perian. The pigeon situation of late is kindred to Tony with the ducks. Oh, yeah.

Both Tony and Perian have had issues with anxiety and panic attacks. Both deal in work in waste management dealing with Twitch chat is my own. I get it. I get it. fondness for strip clubs in the past would feel right at home at the Batabing and I have connections in New York City very suspicious, you're right, of course

my God, me and Tony Soprano peas in a pod. Two peas in a pod. The Flex family. You don't want to miss with the Flex family. Or you'll be laughing on the other side of your face. Yeah, look out.

Watch out for that. Oh, man. All right, this one is from someone who worked in an office with a nice canteen. One day whilst going to get some lunch with my friend, we were looking at the soup as we typically do. Today's soup, spicy parsnip.

It's a self-served canteen and the soup is in a big pot with a ladle. We were considering our choices. Just as I settled on getting some soup, a woman came up to the big pot, put her finger right in it and tasted him. Save to say, we were shocked. Yeah, that's shocking. She'd turned to us and said,

Not very spicy and walked away. We told the kitchen staff, who replaced the soup and had a quiet word with the woman. We could clearly see she was incredulous, appearing to see nothing wrong with what she did. On her way out, we saw her filling out the iPad feedback form for the canteen angrily typing away.

A week later, they implemented sticks to taste the soup, but even now I have to wonder if there's been a phantom soup dipper ahead of me. I've worked there for three days, two days in the office and had two most days. How many fingers have I tasted without knowing? I wish we could have seen what she wrote on the feedback form. This could have been so much work.

And do you know what? I think everything like this is gross, you know? That is gross, yeah. So many gross people have done gross things and put gross, touch gross stuff and fingered gross buffet food and put it back every, every time. You know, it's, if you had like a security camera and you watched like a buffet and you watched how gross just the average group of people were, you would never want to eat at a buffet again. Why are you people like this, though?

If I go to an event, like when I'm working a dough for, event, quite often we'll have a buffet catering. So you'll go there and the catering will be, here are the options for lunch and there'll be a whole bunch of stuff laid out and you take your plate, you form a queue and you load up the plate as you go along. When I know that dinner is served at five, even if I'm not hungry, I'm not a five o'clock dinner eater in general, if I'm having to do buffet eating, I am at the front of that fucking queue because I know that I'm not going to touch all the food and sneeze on it and breathe on it and take something and sniff it and liquor and put it back. I'm going to be a decent human being. So I want to make sure that I get

my food untouched. Because I've got to be there for two weeks sometimes. I don't want to get sick because someone's come along and put their unwashed hand on a jack of potato and then change their mind and then I've eaten it. So I get there first. I say anytime you go to a restaurant and it's like a buffet restaurant, I do them in America a lot, big Chinese buffet, something like that. It's just, you're just guaranteed to get food poisoning or get the shit somehow. You don't see it that much here. And quite frankly, I haven't been to anything like that since I was, I guess, on holiday, since they have a breakfast buffet on holiday. And I mean, do you arrive late for that?

Because the thing about those breakfast buffets is it feels like they are being cycled out quite quick. I guess that is the only saving grace. I think if it's a one-time buffet that's been sat there for a few hours, that's not going to be good. They don't seem to be the rage so much anymore. Like, when I was growing up, it was buffets everywhere. And they were sought after, too.

You were like, where are we going to go? Let's go somewhere with a buffet. Let's not eat all day and get really hungry and go to the buffet. I have very fond memories of going to like the Pizza Hut buffet as a kid, you know. And I think apparently those original style pizzas do still exist in like little towns in America. Yeah. Where they stay. Yeah, some of them are like untouched.

I think there's like a small town in America that still has a blockbuster as well. No way. It must be like a gimmicky one. Oh, it must be just an individual guy that owns a blockbuster. I think so. I think there are places in the world where they're like untouched by time, you know, like they just get frozen and the people that live there. Like you see it in neighborhoods all the time.

Like the neighborhood I grew up in, if I go back to visit family or whatever and I go back to like my old neighborhood, it's all like 70 year olds now. All the kids have grown and left, but all the parents that were raising families at the time when I was a child have just stayed on. They haven't sold their house. whatever, they, you know, they live there. So it's, it went from being like a family neighborhood to just like an old folks neighborhood. Yeah. And, and you can, you can imagine that a small town would be like that too. You know, you'd have these things that people, um, are used to using and they

want to use and they, and it doesn't change much. And I, I think it's fine, but it's, it's like, if you're young, I guess it's kind of boring to be in a place like that or, or maybe interesting for like a small period of time and then you want to get back to, um, your devices. you just want to get back on to all of your devices as soon as possible. Well, talking about... Interacting with AI as well. You're talking about parts of the country that are... I can't remember how you put it, but basically dead.

And, you know, nobody wants to live there in their shit. So, Norfolk, let's talk about Norfolk. This is... Dawn has emailed in to talk about the Florida of the UK. And she reckons that Norfolk could be a decent shout, or it might just be her family. every year for bonfire night, my grandparents would host a big get-together on their farm. They piled a load of burnable ship from over the year on top of the fields, on one of the top fields for this night, so it was a substantial bonfire.

Now, this is interesting that she doesn't realize this. For some reason, it was also a tradition to burn one of those grimy, those old grimy white and brown caravans you tow with your car. So I think one of the reasons that they might do that is because they're burning an effigy of travelers. So just bear in mind that a lot of farmers hate travelers because they park up on their land. If you may have seen in the news lately, those French farmers driving around spraying manure all over a bunch of trawriters on their land. They couldn't get, the police wouldn't do anything about it. So they just started spraying manure everywhere.

I mean, look, you know, people are going to take matters in their own hands. It's a very go-to for French, every time I see French farmers on the news, if they're striking or whatever, they're always opening up the manure valve on like the back of a trailer. spraying a government building or spraying people or it's quite the weapon though. I guess, you know, props to them. I'd move along. I wouldn't want to do it. I would not mess with those guys. They got guns.

They have. But this may not be the reason, but I suspect it is because a lot of the time along with bonfires they burn effigies. I know that in Lewis, which is where Harry's from, Lewis in Sussex, he said that they burn effigies all the time. get in trouble for the effigies that they burn. And I wouldn't be surprised if caravans are traditionally burned as a symbol of, you know, a fuck you to the traveler community. I'm just suggesting it anyway. Right. My granddad also had a tendency to throw the dud fireworks in it before the

end of the night. I'm sure you can see where this is going. One year when I was eight or so, I assume we had an abnormal amount of dud fireworks. Caravan goes on bonfire, business as usual, people go to gather around to keep warm with their pumpkin soup. In less than a second, the serene night air erupted into a battleground. Rockets shooting off into the sky, skittering along the ground, exploding against cars and trees, catherine wheels filling the night with screams and sparks, firework cakes going off like gatling guns. Everyone's running for cover. My nan yanks me behind her car, a fraction of a second later, a two-foot-long rocket traveling at my head height, passed by exactly where I'd been, lit up the forest like a military flare. After about two minutes

of deafening insanity, everyone laughed and went back to what they were doing, occasionally flimching at a pop or a bang from the caravan. That memory stood out as particularly ridiculous, but stupid shit like that happened all throughout my childhood. Anyway, thanks so much of the podcast. I'll be honest with you, dear, I think that rural communities are just a bit more laissez-faire when it comes to safety and shit, and it's just seen as a bit more like left to their own devices.

People are going to blow shit up from time to time. And this sounds like crack at night out, in all honesty. I'd fucking love it. I think this is just... Sorry, I'm not... I can see it's... I don't know. I don't know if I like all that.

It's, it's, it's, I get it. If you're from that, that, that world, that part of the world and you grew up, like, around people that do that kind of stuff, I get it. But like, I think to, to, to for somebody who's not done any of that stuff, I don't know if anybody's like overly interested, you know, like it sounds, I guess it sounds fun, but like, I don't know, I can think of like more fun stuff to do, you know. Well, yeah. I mean, there's always something more fun to do, isn't there?

But bonfire and fire. works is pretty cool. I went to a bonfire one time and and it was it was okay, you know, but like it's kind of like, I like country people are just like a breed, aren't they? They're like, we went to this bonfire and there were these, there were people there drinking and like the party hadn't even really started yet. And these guys were just like absolutely hammered. They were, they were gone. And they were like running through the fire and stuff. And they were, you know, there was like a coal pit that they were running through and you just think, man, come on. Why, like, why are you doing all this? Like, you don't jump through a big fire. A guy jumped through the fire and got lit on

fire and then they had to call an ambulance. It's like, it's, that's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just pretty dumb, you know. Oh, man. Yeah. I guess not, not, not all bonfires are the same, you know, but different breed, you know, but different breed, the country, though. Yeah. We used to have. We used to. It's, it's, it's. Yeah. We used to have a bonfire every now and then at the end of the garden. And we would usually burn things that were, I mean, this was the, I guess the late 80s, like early 90s, right? When I was a kid and we had a decent sized garden. I think the whole plot was like a third of an acre. And so, you know, it had a little bit of a sort of gap at the end of it and an old well as well.

And occasionally, you know, there would be, I think when you have a garden that size, you've got a lot of stuff grows during the summer, you know, and trees need to be cut down sometimes or pruned off and there's lots of things to burn. And I think one time, you know, a big tree blew over and there was regular, my dad had regular bonfires to try and get rid of all the excess wood, you know, because I think a lot of wood comes out of this tree. And obviously a lot of the stuff goes on the compost heap, but you also just generally build up a lot of paper and rubbish and documents. And so my dad had all of these files because he was an accountant and he... There's all of his tax info.

It's all of his receipts and stuff. Now I think about it. It's a bit weird. Yeah, yeah. Like my dad would bring all these... He was cooking it on compost. We'd carry, we'd wheel these filing cabinets up and down. We could be quite a rush about it as well.

Yeah. God, the fires were really big. And he was cackling like an evil villain the whole time as well, which was really weird. And we all took our clothes. off, and we all danced around. Of course, of course. We, yeah, and then we said, Hail Satan. But no, I mean, the Lewis fireworks

are, by bonfires even, are, I think, a long-standing, one of these long-standing British folkloric traditions where it comes from something like, I think it's probably both Guy Fawkes, which is a huge thing here, as a sort of remembrance of the day that the Houses of Parliament nearly got bombed.

And around sort of a similar time, I think there were a lot of martyrs being burned at the stake for believing in Protestantism or whatever. And so I think... Would it mean Catholicism? I don't know. Which one was it? Because I thought the Guy Fawkes was Catholic. The Lewis Martyrs were 17 Protestants who were burned at the stake.

So yeah, it was Catholicism. They decided to burn some... Wait, so did the Catholics burn some Protestants? Yes. But the Catholics wasn't... I thought, I can't remember, I thought this was post-Henry the 8th. It was, but there was this thing where they had this, they had this rough time where there was this reformation period, remember, where it went back and forth

a couple of times. And as a result, it was like, it was the classic bit of government where Henry the 8th was like, right, I'm going to make everyone process it so I could have my divorces. Yeah. And then everyone was like, and then the next person in charge was like, let's bring back Catholicism. And then the next person in charge was like, oh, well, maybe this is not. It's not going so well.

Exactly. You know what? That's how we know that religion has and always will be a force for good. Oh, yeah. Just been such a fabulous force for good. All the people burned and tried to kill each other over, but whatever. Bonfires are weirdly primal though, right? They're very, they're very sort of staked in our, rooted in our genes.

We love fire. You could imagine a lot for many hundreds of thousands of years. Well, the guy I saw passed through the fire probably has Gene's skin grafted to his legs now, so I don't think they're great. I think he proved himself as a new warrior in the tribe. Yeah, I'll get you down to a bonfire Sips next time you're here, and we'll do it. We'll do like a... Just you and Sips.

You bring all your tax files as well. I'll bring them all. God, I'm going to need, we're going to need a couple of trucks for this load. It's a lot of files. My dad told me everything he knew. They got a lot of receipts. All right, this is from Bob. This is from Belgian Bob.

Title, Are Brits Stupid, Brackets, Clickbait? I went on a 10-day trip to the UK with my partner and had some thoughts. Right. We stayed in Oxford, Bristol, London, Bath, and Cardiff. I'm from Belgium. So there's a lot of cultural overlap. Jeez, that is a lot of places. Yeah.

I live at, but there's also not far, that's really not very far from each other. Like, I'm not kidding. If you went from Oxford to London and then to Bath to Bristol to Cardiff, you could do that. You could drive that in a day very easily. Yeah, but I think the UK is quite maybe unique in that sense that you can go to all these different places and they are quite different. Like, I mean, culturally, you know, obviously the same. But like all those places you listed are like quite different to each other. You know, like you'd really feel like you'd been to some different places in a short period of time, which I mean, certainly Cardiff.

I think you could knock that off the end of that list and have a perfectly good holiday. Anyway, I'm from Belgium. So there's a lot of cultural overlap, which I also don't agree with that, but whatever. I live in a 270K population university city where progressive parties get about two-thirds of the vote in elections. This will be relevant later. We noticed a lot of warning signs for things that seem extremely obvious to us. For example, the Mind the Gap, not only on train PA systems, but also on posters, etc. This is obviously with good intentions, but isn't it extremely obvious that you need to be careful when exiting a train?

Would anyone just step out blindly, if not for these warnings? Okay, I just want to point out that we just spoke about a woman who dipped her finger into soup to test it. This is the country that we live in. So, you know, maybe, yes, we do need those things because it turns out there are a lot of fucking idiots. Well, hold on. Sometimes the gap was a lot bigger. There is some stations the gap is bigger. Some stations the gap is markedly bigger.

But listen to this. An occasional mention or poster would make sense, but it's almost incessant. there was a poster in Cardiff saying there had been 77 gap-related accidents on transport for Wales trones alone last year, despite all the warnings. So, and similarly, we heard and saw warnings to be careful with hot drinks on the train, to look left or right before crossing, that a road sweeping vehicle was about to turn left, etc, etc. So I would agree with you that there has been an escalation of things yammering at you

incessantly. I mean, that anything reverses. Vehicle is reversing. Beep, beep! Vehicle is reversed. at the sound of a cannon going off. It's so loud. Yeah.

Put mine in the gap. The door is closing. Next station. I get it. A lot of this stuff, I will say, has been brought in because they've been genuine accidents and they want to try and prevent them. But you don't see the look left or look right painted on the road outside London. In my experience, you don't see it as much.

In London, if you're in central London, it's painted everywhere. Look right. Look left. Because a lot of tourists come here that are from countries where they're used to looking the other way. Yes. So they just step out. But they can't speak English. They can see look left and a big arrow pointing left.

If you say it's low enough, they might understand. If you said it loudly and slowly enough, it is in capital letters. Left. But yes, I mean, mind the gap. A lot of people do. I'm sorry, but we drink a lot over here. We do drink a lot over here. Does this contribute, though, towards everyone having a low level of anxiety about everything?

Does it actually like make us feel less safe or make us feel? or more nervous, like, or does it actually make us safer? Certainly, I noticed one of the first times we went to America was that there was this sort of like almost passive-aggressive sort of way to say, instead of said keep out, they would say area off limits for your safety or something like that, do you see what I mean? And it was almost be like, it'd be like your fault if you went through that door. Well, that's what they want it to be.

They want it to be, well, we did everything we could. For your safety. Yeah. For your safety. They're trying to not take any responsibility for you being stupid, which I mean, is understandable, I suppose. Yeah. But I mean, it's it. I think the mind the gap thing is, I know they say it a lot, but I think it's become like a bit of a, you know, like a catchphrase as well. So they, I think they overag it sometimes too.

Because like anytime there's anything to do like the London Olympics or anything to do with London, you always hear that, mind the gap. Like, mind the gap. Like, it's always sampled into a song or something. Mind the gap. Yeah, yeah. It is. Fat boy slim with his hit, mind the gap. Mind the gap.

I think maybe our Belgian friend, hello, by the way, has actually gone to relatively touristy places. And that's why these are, you know, in the center of Oxford, was it the else you say big cities? London, Bath, Bristol and Karl. These are very popular tourist cities. And so I guess, you know, you are, there's a lot of. school trips. There's a lot of, you know, English tourism that goes around. English. So it makes sense that these places are overly compensating. I will also say, if you step outside the center of these big cities, like Lulu says, these touristy places, they don't give a

shit. You should see the state of the roads around our way. They don't give a fuck. Council hasn't done anything. They're in terrible condition. And this is true of a lot of places in the UK, is it's all very much in the shop window that it's all looked after and neat and tidy and you go a few street street down

and they don't give a fuck so they'll be there'll be like a farmer's field with a sinkhole in it that leads to

an old mine shaft and it won't be marked on any map there will be any sign about it there'll be like an old rickety bit of barbed wire

and old man sat there on a stool laughing when people fall in that's what a little bit they'd be like try the buffing always calling me

me big all again you got busted all right so Bob goes on Gregs. Gregs is great for a quick cheap lunch. Thanks for the information, Bob. Very cheap, but yet not complete rubbish. Special shout out to the vegan sausage rolls. It's true. We have a similar chain in Belgium except it's more expensive and shitter.

What are you talking about? Gregs is like the cheapest ingredients. Yeah, but he's saying it's more expensive in Belgium and that is cheap. As most expensive as they can get away with them. Bob's not having any Gregslander. I don't think anyone else that listens to this podcast will either. All right, fine. You're on an island of one here. Hey, Gregs. Hey, Greg Wallace.

Hey, me, Gregs. Nuff said. Hey, I was speaking of Greg Wallace. You see Master Chef is back, but because it's like the last one they recorded, it's still got the two nasty men. Well, they've cut all the banter out. Have they? So it's just like, it's just.

They're basically being like, hi, and then that goes straight into you. You still get to see their dumb puke faces when they're trying to eat stuff as well. like, oh, oh, that one, the, the guy from New Zealand looks like he's going to, he's going to hurl every time. He's got like that. John Rode. Yeah, yeah. Or John To Rode. I thought it was John Rode being tarred incredibly by the Greg. Well, he was racist. Well, exactly. It's collateral damage and he's racist. But he's, he's had, um, I think that the problem is it's, it's not, it's not comparative though, isn't it, you know? He's not comparatively. Do you think that if Greg Wallace hadn't gone down and then probably been the one to raise it with the BBC.

He wouldn't have dragged John Thoreau down with him. Maybe it would have been awkward for him to stay on, too, though. Like, you know, he's like last man standing kind of thing, yeah. God, yeah. Well, fuck him. Oh, can I just say we spoke about Greg Wallace prior to his cancellation. And we've spoken about Sydney Sweeney a bit a few weeks ago. And now she's up for a good solid cancellation as well.

Why? Because of the jeans commercial? So that, and also she's a registered Republican, and in this era, if you're a registered Republican, that basically means you're voting for Trump. And a lot of people were like, hang on a minute. There's some Republicans that don't support Trump, though, right? A lot of them bite the bullet and hold their noses and vote thing, which I couldn't do. If you are dumb and rich, who are you going to vote for? You're going to vote for the person who keeps you rich.

That is all. That is all. Are you just going to be rich anyway, though, really, aren't you? Like, these people are just narcissistic. You'd have to really go out of your way to fall out of being rich. Who care about nothing other than themselves. All she cares about is herself and holding onto as much of her money as possible and being as rich as possible.

And that's where Elon and Zuckerberg and all these people come down. It's all they care about is. How are these guys going to lose any money, though, or enough money to be destitute? Because someone might raise taxes and it might cost a bit. Even then, though, I mean, come on, man. You've got more money. these guys have more money than they would ever know what to spend it all on. It doesn't, they don't spend it.

There's not even enough yachts in the world for them to waste all their money on it. It's a big measuring concept. They're comparing themselves constantly with other people and having this, it's their dragons sat on their hordes and comparing their hordes. You don't mean? Yeah. I mean, if you took away half their wealth, they'd still be richer than everyone. Yeah.

If you took half of their money away. But they don't, they don't think of it that way. Like they don't even, you know, You know what annoys me is, if you think about what rich people seem to, used to be like, they would, like, build shit. Like, they would say, like, I'm going to build a bridge or I'm going to build this amazing tower. Yeah, but I think oftentimes they built shit because it did directly benefit them. Oh, I'm sure it did.

You know, like, all those bridges and all the railroads and all that crap that was built. I mean, it did serve industry at the time. They had an investment in. It did also have a corollary benefit. And there were, in the Industrial Revolution, there were quite a few. British industrialists, very wealthy industrialists that form something

called the lunar society and their whole thing was how can we make life better for the average British person I'm not kidding you can go up and read all about it that does not exist these guys getting together

and saying right we're successful we're British what can we do to help our country that's gone now it's just about power for the individual it's all fiefdoms or fiefdoms

I'm sure I'm actually positive it's going to change because this happened history repeats itself it's going to get worse I positive it's going to change because we've started to see the backlash with things like Luigi Mangione, right? Like, we've started to see the hatred of the rich instead of the elevation of them, right?

It's a new idea that the rich are scum, and we need to bring them down from their high tower. And all it will take is another couple of Luigi Mangione's before they start getting scared, like they did in the 1900s. And in the 1900s, they suddenly decided to start spinning. and working on their image and making donations and like changing the world for just to stay alive. I think there have been a couple of Luigi copycats, but you haven't heard about them. They just won't, they don't want to draw a lot of attention to it. But there's been like two or three other ones that are like quite similar with people who are like

CEOs of like quite big companies that are. It's a groundswell of kind of it. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a direction that we're going in. I think a lot of people agree that there's too much inequality, that they are too rich, and something will be done. And as soon as it will be, you know, as soon as someone has the balls to do it, I wonder. The question is, is that can they do it?

I mean, the rich, the rich gives so much money and have such an influence on politics that they can, you know, even like, I read yesterday it was like, you know, Trump approval rates or whatever amongst the Republicans, the red, the red sort of states, voters, even with everything that's happened over the last year, he's gone from like 99% popular to 98% popular among those people who voted for him, you mean? Yeah. It's like the people who vote for him, he can basically do anything. And they're on board.

It's crazy. Yeah. It is nuts. But I think I always feel like the way, you know, like the way that people support Trump hated Biden. they hate Biden the same way that people hate Trump, hate Trump. You know, there's no, there's no middle ground. It's just, it's just a pure hatred.

They're looking for, always looking for more reasons to hate him. Like, he's just, it's impossible for him to ever redeem himself sort of thing. It's the same, it's like a fanatical hatred, right? Not necessarily the problem. The Democrats also are so scared of taxing the rich and they didn't do anything. And that's, I still think that's a big. I think the big problem is, is that they all get paid by the same people, ultimately. Yeah.

And so the politics, you know, I mean, but people have been saying this for years and years and years. There's no difference. But I think. There is a difference. I think maybe people are starting to wake up a little bit to it now. But I mean, even like, even in like, even in like the late 90s, people were saying, what's the difference between Gore and Bush?

You know, like it's, it has been a, it has been a topic for. A long time. But hold on. Hold on. People keep saying this. Oh, they're both as bad as each other. If you can say that with the current politics in America, you are fucking insane. They're as bad as each other.

Clearly not. I'm not saying that they're both, that one is good and one is bad. I think if you take... One is just incompetently shit, and that's the Democrats, they're doing nothing. Yeah, yeah. And one is literally evil. Yeah. So you cannot be saying, I'm not saying you.

I'm saying people cannot be so much. They're both terrible. Fuck off. Yeah. Like if you take away the insane aspects of it and strip it down just to like the like the sort of run-of-the-mill political stuff, right? Like passing a bill to cut taxes or passing a bill to do, you know, like sensible stuff. Not the fucking super insane shit that's been happening recently. They're both kind of the same, right?

like you have you have an element of it that is like so far right but then the rest of it is kind of like just in the middle and they're all quite happily taking money from the same people I feel like you don't you there's no representation for people that want anything different you know what I mean yeah because the money is just all the same it just happens now that Trump is insane and and it's like it's super polarizing but but like in an average you know cycle, political cycle or election cycle or whatever, there's not much difference. But, I mean, of course there's a big difference now because Trump is mad. He's a madman.

I mean, the thing is, no, you genuinely shouldn't have wild differences between the two major parties because whichever country live in, culturally speaking, most people in there are going to lean one way or the other. They shouldn't be fleeing and running one way or the other. They shouldn't be so polarized that one group feels completely unrepresented and the that also feels completely unrepresented. That's not healthy. And what you end up then is what you have in America.

We're totally divisive politics. And they're at war with each other over everything. Oh, it is. Yeah. It's like a team sport. It's like there's no middle ground whatsoever. Like at least in some places there is some middle ground. You know, like you'll have policies you don't agree with, but then you'll have stuff

that you don't mind so much. But it's never so polarizing that you feel completely disenfranchised. This is a recent development, this polarization, and it is very, very strange. I don't know. It was pretty bad during Reagan. It was pretty bad during Thatcher as well. And that's like the early 80s. So like I think that a lot of this stuff, it's, there's a lot more emphasis on it now. But a lot of this stuff has been going on for decades, probably most of our lives. But it just has seemed a lot more stable at points. But like if you look back to some of like Thatcher's policies, you look back to Reagan's policies,

people were super fucking pissed off like a lot of the time as well it's kind of a miracle that they got in the first place but then a lot of them got in in the first place for the same shit that people are getting in for now anti-immigration you know oh you know close the borders stop the boats all this

it's just been going on forever it is it is literally history repeating itself all the time it is the same old tricks on it is burning the gypsies in 16 it's burning the Protestants in Lewis that's what it is It always comes back to the same shit. People are pissed off about

10 things, but they hyper-focused on one thing that they can get mega-pissed about, and that's what swings their voting. It's just the same old tricks. We'll never get any better either, as long as all these systems remain the same. As long as there's a lot of money involved and the influence is coming from the outside,

I don't even think politicians have that much power anymore. I think it's all the money that's coming in from other people, influencing it and has been for quite some time. I think since the 80s, easily, if not before. I mean, all the shit with Nixon was happening even before. And that was the 70s. So, like, it's been going on for a while. I think the last time anything big happened, progressively happened, was probably in the 60s during like civil rights or whatever. And then since then, it's just been the war on drugs, the war on terror, the war on immigration, the war on, you know what I mean? It's

It's just keeping people stupid and scared of foreigners, basically. Those movements, those movements, the civil rights movement and the hippie movement and the anti-war movement, that didn't come from politics. That wasn't some Democrat politicians standing up or some Republican politicians standing up and doing the right thing. That came from the people. Like, that is what we are lacking is a coordinated, genuinely organized protest group against all this shit. People are stupid, though. They'll cut their nose off despite their face every single time. They don't have the info.

It's a knee jerk. It's stupid. It's like speaking to it's like speaking to an everyday person. You know, like you get into a taxi cab and you think about, you listen to this podcast and you hear about politics and stuff. We're not informed. But I don't even think politicians are that informed anymore either. You know what I mean? Like it's like the blind. They are so slow. This fucking, this act that's come in, the online safety act is the most miserably disorganized and wrongheaded piece of legislation that I think I've seen in a while. So if you're not in the UK, we've just basically have, we now have to upload a picture

of our face if we want to visit specific websites like Pornhardt. Yeah, and people are using like Gary's mod to propose faces to provide and get through. And obviously, it doesn't work. And VPN sales have gone, you know, 300% through the roof, you know, as everyone's using them, which is just, oh, it's like, oh, I'm in Belgium now. okay, I guess it just acts as the internet as normal, inverted commas, if the internet wasn't already, like, absolutely completely smothered by full-page nonsense and ads and everything behind some sort of weird.

All these news sites being behind paywalls and having, like, being absolutely plastered by ads. News is just in such a disaster, the internet in general. And quite frankly, like, all these news sites are owned by the same person anyway. Oh, don't get me started. All right, let's move on to happier things. How about that? only happy when I'm ranting.

But I want to be ranting. I can't look at 70 Swedish tits anymore because she's the Republican now. Confriending it hard to get to get hard when I look at that woman. She has pissed me off

so much. Oh, my God. Oh, hi, buddy. Who's the best? You are? I wish I could spend all day with you instead. Uh, Dave, your husband.

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That's buyraycon.com slash trifles. All right, this is from Cranberry who says, this is a really, this is a refreshingly stupid subject that we can discuss instead of something depressing. Oh, God, sorry, guys. That was like a big start, though. This is a big shit sandwich. When and how did that start? It was the mention of Sydney Sweeney.

I'm so sorry. Got us all fired up. Don't do that. I'm sorry. Isn't she married to that other actor, though? The, um, what was that guy's name? Quentin? No, no, not Tarantino.

No, no, not Tarantino. Who is that, who is that really run-of-the-mill actor in, in looks and roles that? Glenn Campbell? Yeah, Glenn Campbell. That's it. No way. talking about? I think that, or were they on-screen married?

Maybe it was on-screen marriage. Can I just say, when I was in Japan, we watched Twisters, because we were stuck for something to watch in the evening. What a piece of shit. What a piece of shit. That sounds like a porno. Twisters. Twisters.

Yeah, it does sound like the name of a porno. You're thinking of the game, Twister. Twisters. Oh, is the new Twisters. The new one. The original Twister wasn't great. No, the original was bad. They made a sequel.

but it's got the most stereotypical thing in it, right? This is what annoys me. And I think, honestly, this idea Americans love where being book smart and going to a university and getting a degree and being a scientist, I don't need no science to education to tell me how a tornadoes works. They just know it's just look at it. And by feel, they're like, that's a cat for it. It's like, oh, yeah, of course.

They smell a piece of dirt on the ground. They're like storms are brewing. All of these clever science boffins. But then they use terminology to describe the tornado and predict it. And they use all this equipment. Yeah, it's because they're all former scientists gone rogue. Yeah, I used to work in the lab, but I didn't like the way that they did things. They held me back.

I want to throw myself into a tornado. They said, don't do it. I said, I'm going to do it. But it didn't like how things were done. Let me throw myself into tornado. And they wouldn't get me a grand for that. So I said, science. They always have a son and a daughter who are like tornado experts as well.

Well, little Mary Lou knows when there's a cat five coming. She can smell it in the air. My boy's hair stands on him when the tornadoes come. We put them on top of the truck. Yeah. We basically just wrote the screenplay for Twisters probably. I'd imagine that that is the movie, right? Yeah.

Oh, can I just say Sydney Sweetie's initials, SS? Yeah. Think about it. Drinking straws, are you a one-holler or a two-huller? This comes back to the posthum, what is a room topic? Is there a hole at each side of the straw or one hole which starts at one side and ends at the other? So the question is, are there two holes in a straw or is it just one hole? Like on the other topic, I am firmly in the I don't give a fuck camp.

I think that's a good camp to be. If anybody wants to join me, we got pretzels. I think there was a collective groves. We got a lot of buffet. You got a fucking buffet. You can dip your finger in the soup over here. We're not even in a room. We're in a field.

No straws. Snacks. Good times. All right. So here's when, this is from Ben, not our Ben, a different Ben. Ben from Belgium? I was listening to the podcast. No, no, that was Bob.

Oh, sorry. I was listening to the podcast, specifically the mailbag special number 49. I was very surprised to hear a direct-to-consumer ad come on. I was wondering about the logistics of this. Do you choose the adverts that come on mid-roll? I'm asking because I work in. Farmer and UK advertising of farmer products, especially ones that are marketed in the UK, in this case, one called, I can't remember the name, is illegal.

Yeah, I think a lot of it's targeted. So, like, if you've been watching stuff or, you know, doing your normal perusing on the internet or whatever, it builds up a profile for you and serves you ads that things are appropriate for you. We do not pick the ads. And if we did pick the ads, there's no way we'd pick a pharma ad. We'd pick an ad for, like, something stupid. a dildo or something like that.

So there's no way. We do pick the ones that we do recording for, obviously. The ones that we voice are things that we've, you know, been paid for to, to, to, to, to, to promote those are, those are, those are, we've picked those. But I will say we get offers that we say no, because we don't use that product or we don't like it. Yes. Yeah, like we had the opportunity at one point to do some stuff for vaping and we said no, because

we thought you got to think of the kids, you know. Did we? What if there are kids watching this and they're like, oh, shit, those guys vape? They like vaping. So we thought we said, no. Shit, I can't believe we turned that down. No list. Our no list is like medical stuff, financial stuff.

Like, well, like, there's a few others that when it comes up, you know, but. No crypto, no gambling. Yeah. No porn. Nothing that's bad for you. What was another one? Oh, yeah, nothing that's positive about women. Nothing is positive about women.

Yeah. We only want ads where we can really get a full hate on for women. Yeah. When we're like, we hate women here. God, we hate them so much. If you hate women to subscribe to our additional Patreon podcast feed, we hatewomen.com. Yeah. That's what it's called.

Oh, my God. A lot of people like, you know, they try to gloss it over and stuff. I feel like if you, if you want to just be racist or you want to hate women or you want to hate a demographic or whatever, just be, just be more upfront about it. Join Master Chef. Yeah, join Master Chef too. Yeah, that's a good. They're looking to, they're looking to replace some old duds. So they got, they need some new blood. Yeah. Damn. All right, though, this is, we were talking about, um, multi-level marketing in Mormon communities. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I watched the documentary about, uh,

right. I think that's what brought it up. So this is from, the epicenter of, MLMs being in Mormon country as well. Right, exactly. Salt Lake City, Utah. This is from Cody. Right. And Cody says that they were going to talk about MLMs in the LDS communities. But instead, this anecdote.

One time I was hanging out at the house of a Mormon friend and a family. The mom was having a video call with her husband who was stationed overseas. And the dad wasn't getting the video feed. It was just for him, it was just an audio call. Thinking it was just the two of them, he said, we'll hurry up and get to the bedroom so I can pull my cocky out for you. Me and my friend,

the daughter, the mother's mother, were all in hearing range and all went white in the face. The mother began laughing anxiously and said, oh, whoops, everyone's in the room here, hon. The look on that man's face is forever seared into my mind. I think it was the most traumatic thing

that happened to him in the Middle East. Much love Cody. Jesus Christ. Wow. Just just Just Wow. Mormon cock.

Imagine seeing him. a Mormon cock. No, thanks. Whipping it out of his special magical underpants. Look at my Mormon cock, honey. You're my multi-level marketing. Here you go. Jesus Christ.

That's crazy. That, to me, that is crazy. That is like early onset dementia must be, right? I don't know. I think he's just, when he's on a call with her, stationed overseas, he probably gets quite horny for Mrs. Mormon. And, you know, that's a thing they do together. Oh, I see.

Okay. He doesn't realize that there's a whole bunch of. of other people there. He thinks it's just him and his wife and husbands and wives can do that kind of thing. Thank God. And, you know, he's not saying, hey, I understand you've got company, turn the camera so they can see my cop. Like, that's not what he's saying. Man's just trying to get some long-distance action with his message. It's kind of rude, though. You're a room full of people and you haven't offered it out to everyone else. Like maybe you should have. You should really share. Yeah. You should really share. Don't be shy, everybody. There's enough cock for everybody on this call.

I understand that Mr. Lovis that you have a penis you'd like to show the rest of the class. Well, perhaps you could share it with all of us. Yeah. This is why people come up with, like, private language for their, to share with their partner, you know? Because then it's because, you know, he could, you know, he could have said something like, hmm, Mr. Fluffy is hungry. That's worse in some ways, though, isn't it? It's kind of weird.

I mean it's bad It's bad on both counts I just It is it is kind of bad to just be like I don't know Like I get like not You know beating around the bush or whatever And just come straight out with it

But it's still like it's very forward isn't it That's what he was looking to go to the bedroom So I can get my cock and my balls out And show them to you You know like it's kind of like robotic It's like it's a bit weird It is a little bit Right

But then it's kind of weird as well It's like would Mr. Fluffy like to come out of his, out of his funny game to see, oh, Mr. Fluffy, look, it's sunny out today. It's fucking weird, man. Why are people like this? The fucking person dipping her finger in the soup, the cock and balls on call guy, like, fucking behave yourselves out there.

What's going on? Like, we live in a society. I know it's been said, but man, come on. Like, there's a lot of people, I'm sure that don't do any of this shit. We have to have all those warning signs. We should have more warning signs. Please keep your cock and balls inside their trousers. Fucky hell.

All right, let's move on. This will be more fun and this will calm you right down since. I promise. What is your birth date? Just the date, not a year. My birthday is the 5th of June. Okay, and we'll do it for this one as well. Lewis, what is your birthday?

I can save you a lot of time here, Flacks. I share a birthday with. the streamer ninja and also with Mark Wahlberg. That is sadly not it. This is from Matt, a microscopic penis have a match. This is a game, if you type Florida man and your birthday, you get a Florida man's story just for your birthday. So I did 5th of June.

That was You, Sips. Let's, here's, here's, well, this is at the top one. Federal jury finds man guilty of posing as a flight attendant to obtain free flights. So that's what a Florida guy did. He pretended to be a flight attendant just to sneak on to a plane. Pretty clever. We've all been there before, I'm sure. Yeah.

Lulu, I'm just going to find one for you. Florida man breaks into a woman's house, sits on her couch, and makes unusual request. I don't think this is particularly good one. Let's find a better one. Florida man, the Florida man, here we go, shoots neighbor. Oh, no, I can't read that one. Florida man. Stam to death while high on LSD.

Yours are all awful. I tell me about it. Okay. I'm accused of having sex with a frozen toy at Target. So he had sex with a toy from the smash hit Frozen in the middle of a target, and it was a stuffed unicorn that he went for. Oh, my God. What are people doing?

I don't know. My one is Florida man believed he was half man, half dog during fatal attack. He was biting on someone's face while making growling noises. Oh, my God. That's Florida for you. Why is Florida like this? Have you been there? I've been there a couple of times, yeah.

I don't remember it being... I was young when I went, so I don't remember it being... Didn't you go to Disney World or something? I did, yeah. Right, so here's what the rest of Florida is like. It's not really the same. Here's what the rest of Florida is like. It's a wilderness of mosquitoes, alligators, swamp, and there is nothing.

There's nothing higher than a man anywhere in the entire state. It's so flat. It's just a giant sandbar. at the edges, it's beach, it's sun, there's occasionally sharks and stuff, it's quite pleasant. Inland, it is the hell of America. It is the worst part. It is the stinky, sweaty armpit of America. It is dreadful.

And if you go inland and you drive around and you see what the people are like, it is like that because there is nothing, you cannot see further. There is no horizon. That has to have a serious effect on people's brains. Did you watch Tiger King? I didn't watch it, no. It's like sweaty. boring. It's a nightmare to get anywhere. It's just driving. And all you are seeing is the same

swamp over and over and there's no change of scenery. I didn't watch Tiger King because I just was kind of like, I just thought, you know what? I just don't want to watch a documentary about an insane American person. I just seen enough at that point, you know. So it's quite fun. I didn't watch it. It is quite fun. Yeah. It is quite fun. But it's just, it just gets to you. And they do a hell of a lot of meth down there. And it's just a fucking dump and depressing. I mean, you could talk to Bob. She's from Florida.

She's from the shittest part of Florida, which is the westerny bit, which is even worse than the easterny bit. But she's not in Florida now, though. Isn't she in the UK now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she obviously is from Florida. Right. She's lucky to have gotten out. What a dump.

Awful. Awful, awful. I have nothing good to say about Florida. No, there's not. Name one. Well, I mean, Boba's old city, St. St. Petersburg. Actually, like, some nice, nice bits of it, honestly.

The Dali Museum was nice, had a nice visit to that. No, thanks. Tampa Bay Aquarium, which was nice. Vomit. Puk. Some good bits. Went to nice beaches. Some nice.

It's actually quite nice. The beaches are nice. The problem is you're still in Florida when you get off the beach. It's a violent drug-infested hellhole. I think also, though, within reason. Yeah, so it depends where you go. And I think some places are, it's the same here. It's the same everywhere.

No, it's not. If you're not careful. Even Americans know this. Even Floridians know this. I'm not just making this up. It's true. It's got huge, huge retirement villages and huge mega-rich mansions and huge, like, some places are absolutely staggeringly beautiful and wonderful in Florida.

It's got everything. It's a bit of everything. It has some pretty bits, I will say that. It's got toothless meth-addicted lunatics yelling, get off my land and shooting you, and driving like crazy, and drug, drug people, all the Miami drug Cuban vibe. Miami's a dumb. And let me give you some advice.

If you're ever in Florida, it is a stand your ground state, which means that if you suspect, just suspect and can reasonably demonstrate that you thought you were in danger, you don't have to try and run away. You can just start shoot, like you can just fucking Danny DeVio start blazing away.

And they'll be like, that I like. Fair enough. We got him. Got him. He was looking funny. He got brown skin. Quick, quick one from a listener.

You and always, you and Lewis always say going down to Bristol or coming down to Bristol. But on a map, it is not south or down at all. Well, good question. I do tend to say I'm coming down to Bristol. It's like northwest for you, Flex. Good point. Barely, barely. I mean, if you look at a map, it's almost a direct straight shot left.

Like, I just go left. In fact, it is almost exactly parallel with Twickenham, Bristol. In fact, where I stay in Bristol, it might be one degree of longitude up. I think of Cornwall as the bottom, though, right? They sure do. Because England faces Europe, right? England faces Europe. And Cornwall is like the tail.

I find that the shape of the UK looks like. like the pound symbol a little bit, you know? Maybe that's why we did that. Maybe that's why they did it, yeah. But England, England is facing away from Europe. The butt, which is Norfolk. Yeah, it's showing its butt to France. We've given our ass to Europe. And we're riding that pig straight to the middle of the Atlantic, where we'd be, I'm sure we'd be much happier just alone. I know. I always see like the Scotland as like the nose with the Edinburgh mouth, Germany. Do I see that massive?

UK man riding pig I need to look that up Yeah Alright here we go I will show you the image I'll pop it into Discord for you This is gonna change Is this like that time

You see Lisa Simpson Given a blowjob on the Sorry? What? Yeah on the Olympics The Olympics 2012 There he is A bearded man riding a pig

A bearded man riding Yeah it does look like a bearded man A bearded man riding a pig No I've put it in the school I like this I can get behind this See look at him go A little pig is the bottom half.

Yeah. And then the bearded man... What does Ireland look like to you? Well, no, it's just that... We don't know what that is. I think that's just the background. I see, he's zooming past and there's like something in the background. A cloud.

Yeah, a cloud. I don't like this... The bearded man is like vomiting... Yeah, it looks like... It looks like he's... It looks like a big... It's a pipe cloud. He's vaping on a pig.

It's coming out. Yeah, or like spitting or he's like... All right. Here's an alternative one, if you want to see this one. This is also gives Ireland a job. It is a witch rider. a pig. Oh, and there's an owl trying to land on there.

Or is an eagle. Yeah, and she's spooked an owl. And that crookedy bit that he thought was vomit is, in fact, the witch's nose. So it is a witch riding a pig. It does look like a witch ride. The pig looks like it's melting, though. Indeed. And maybe the witch does as well.

Yeah. I mean, it's just, you know. London 2012. It can be whatever you want. Mind the gap. London 2012. Is it the symbol? London 2012 symbol?

Oh my God, I can't unsee that now. that now. It's a 2012, but it does look like, have you not seen that? I've never seen. It looks like she's just unzipping some trouser and bending down at the knee to notch off London. Maybe she's just doing a, maybe she's just having like a, like a look. Her colleague's penis has been injured and she's, she's doing the decent thing and having a look. It's very kind of her. My colleague. Excuse me, my penis has been injured. Is enough of that mailback.

Thank you for listening, everyone. I have to go do a million things. Wow, look at you. I got to do a million things. We'll have fun. I know. I'm going to love it. Thank you, everyone, for joining us.

Sorry for all the emails I couldn't read out. I'm sorry. No, we'll get to him next time. We were all over the place this time. Sorry about that. We'll do better next. It's great. We'll do better next time.

We will. Take it easy. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thank you.