Triforce! - London united by Nursery Rhymes | Triforce #359
Episode Date: July 1, 2026Triforce! Episode 359 - the heatwave special! It's a record beating scorcher in the UK so we're staying inside to record a podcast. Lewis has a sore wrist thinking about Brittany (in France, not Spear...s), we uncover an interesting story about the ancient meme: Techno Viking and Sips imagines a London united under a storm singing old nursery rhymes (like Wind the Bobbin Up, apparently.) Take control of your income. Start your free trial at http://shopify.com/triforce Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Pickax.
Hello everyone and welcome to the Triforce podcast.
As you can hear, I have a nice crisp, clean microphone.
Wow.
Because I am a professional.
What about you, Sips?
Do you have a nice, clean, crisp sounding audio?
Of course I do.
I always have had one as well.
For the past 15 years, I've enjoyed only crisp, clear audio,
headphones, microphone, you name it.
And Piri and Flacks.
Hi, I'm coming to you from within a wind tunnel.
It's not that bad, yeah.
It's not as bad as it was a second ago.
He's testing the new Rolls-Royce engines that they're going to be putting on to the new
Airbus planes that they're making.
They've got to replace the big ones.
You know, those big air buses, the A380s?
They're already like done.
Like they're out of date.
Well, I saw a thing, some wings are cracking on some of the airbusers.
Really?
Yeah, I saw a thing an airbus had to be grounded the other day.
Did you see that?
Was that on the Boeing website?
I don't know.
Breaking news.
They were not announced.
It was not announced.
So Pfex, why have you got the fan on?
Because I've got...
So we've got the loft conversion is two rooms.
There's like the main bedroom, me and Mrs. F's room.
You come out of that and there's a little tiny landing
leading to the staircase down to the rest of the house.
And off that little landing, there's my office,
which is about the size of a prison cell, I would assume.
And that's where I have two monitors, my PC, my printer,
and my mini fridge and my body chucking out heat
with the sun beating down on a flat roof all day.
So I have this fan here.
When Mrs. F is in the office,
I wheel our AC unit in here so I can live.
But as it is now,
I've got the fans set up on the landing,
blowing some of the cold air from our bedroom
where the AC is,
hopefully onto me,
leaching a little bit of the cold air.
That's the plan.
She's working from home in the bedroom
and has priority over you.
I feel like...
Your wife should definitely,
I definitely go into the office though, no?
Like, most offices are air-conditioned and nice.
Like, I would just live in the air-conditioned office.
You don't want to go in every day.
You don't want to go in every day.
I mean, for one thing, you've got the commute.
And because it's hot, the trains are all fucked.
So, quite often, you know, things are breaking down.
Tracks are melting, yeah.
How hot is it outside the...
In London.
Yeah.
So at the moment, it's 28.
It's 10 o'clock in the morning.
It's 10 o'clock in the morning.
Yeah.
So yesterday, I'm not going to convert this into so-called freedom.
units.
If you don't understand Celsius, you can just look it up yourself.
Yesterday was 36, I think, but it felt more like 38 to 40.
It was bad.
It got to 38 here, which is 100, 100 degrees F for the American.
I mean, we always get this, though.
I was like, oh, why are they complaining?
I live in, uh, it's hard in Texas.
Yeah.
And I'm fine.
I live in Death Valley.
You think that's hot.
bit.
Exactly.
It is hot.
That's why P-Flex is going to be shit audio.
That's all.
Just for some audio people, like me,
Lewis is an audio file.
He's something of an audio file, actually.
Beets by Lewis.
Beets by Brindley.
He's set up his own headphone company and everything.
How about beats on Lewis and we just beat him up?
Beats off Lewis, yeah.
Beats off Lewis.
I'm saying beats on.
We beat off on to Lula.
or we beat him up. Your choice.
Yeah.
Do you guys, I wanted to say, do you guys do a lot of things on autopilot?
Right?
Because I found myself like doing, making cups of tea on autopilot and not drinking them.
I do everything on autopilot.
I am 100% always on autopilot.
Do you find yourself doing things that you don't know why you've done them?
Yeah, I almost put toilet paper in the fridge yesterday because I'm so on autopilot all the time.
So can I just butt in?
Sorry, that's not what an auto pilot.
pilot does. That's why we use autopilot. We don't use an autopilot and say, the players
in autopilot, that's why we hit that mountain. Yeah, no, but I know what you mean. When you say
when a person is saying that they're in autopilot, they're not thinking about what they're doing.
It's weird, though, isn't it? They're relying on their, like, muscle memory. We're kind of like sleep,
walking. Yeah. I think to describe it as autopilot is doing a disservice to the autopilot industry.
Well, how else would you like to describe it?
it then. Let's change it up. Let's fix this. What is the new term to describe the state that you're in
when traditionally people would say, I'm on, I'm in, I'm on autopilot right now. I would normally say
I'm zoned out. Like I'm just zoned out. Like I, I'm pretty sure I have ADHD. It implies that you're
just sat there on the sofa doing nothing. Yeah. Yeah, but that's that's like your brain is zoned out.
You're not thinking. Yeah. Or I'll just say like, oh, I was miles away. I just got it. I don't know
what happened there, I wasn't thinking at all.
Zoned out to me is like the, is like the keymaster on Ghostbusters, you know, like when he's
wandering around the city trying to find the gatekeeper.
That's like, I wouldn't say that I'm zoned out.
Like my hair isn't like what's left of it.
Isn't just like sticking up?
That's the one, yeah.
I wouldn't be, you know, like I feel like he's like in a stupor.
That's more like a like a, I would say zoned out, you're kind of like in some sort of stupor.
whereas I'd say
if somebody said I'm on autopilot
I would just be like
not in a stupor but not
necessarily paying full attention
to what I'm doing. You know what I mean?
Gozo the traveler. He will come
in one of the pre-chosen forms
during the rectification of the Vodryanii
the travel came as a large moving torb
then during the third reconciliation
of the left of the McKedric supplicates they choose
a new form for him. That of a giant slur!
Many shubs and Zulus know what it was to be
roached in the depths of the slur that day I could
tell you. That's my favorite line in the whole of Ghostbust. It's like a law dump for Ghostbuss.
It's like, Torbs, Slore, Shubs and Zools, I must know more. My four-year-old, who is going to be
five in like two weeks. Yeah. Her new favorite saying is, I can tell you that much for free,
which sounds hilarious coming from a four-year-old. It was like some of grandmother.
How is your day today? Yeah, it was okay. Were you hot enough today? Like that, because it's been so
so warm.
And she'll turn around and just kind of give you this dead stare and just be like,
yeah, I can tell you that much for free.
It was like, okay, calm down.
Jesus.
What's going on here?
The sass is developing.
I think she's got an older sister and an older brother, like an angsty older brother as well.
So I feel like her levels of sass are just going to be off the charts compared to the other
ones, you know?
I'm still, that was such a good Ghostbusters impression.
It was an amazing Ghostbusters impression.
I read the script.
I was reading the lines.
I felt like I was watching the movie.
It was good.
The delivery was spot on.
I've seen that film so many times.
So many times.
Who hasn't?
I mean, it's amazing.
It's amazing.
I love all of those 80s.
They just don't make them like that anymore, you know?
They don't.
They don't.
No.
They were,
we talked about this.
We complained about this ad nauseam.
But it is such a shame.
Everyone's too edgy.
Everyone's too edgy and everything.
If you make a fun movie,
it has to be a kid.
Are you wiping water on the dog?
Oh, bless her.
The dog is really struggling in the heat.
We're not walking her at the height of the day.
We're taking her out like first thing in the morning.
Well, I'll tell you what, normally this weather, my tortoise Terry, would be just living the
dream out there.
You know, like he loves this weather.
Oh, cold blood, didn't he?
Even he has to retreat.
It's so hot.
He has to go, he has a little cave that he sleeps in.
It's like this little like resin cast.
cave and he's got a like he's dug like a little trench inside of it that he sleeps in and um normally
he's out all day he finds places to bask in he finds shade to hide in or whatever finds trees to
lay next to and little bushes to hide in and stuff um and then around six seven o'clock when the when
you know when it's starting to cool down a little bit he'll retreat back to his cave and go to sleep
he wakes up in the morning takes one look outside recently right back in the cave he's just in the
cave all day. Fair price. He just cannot, he can't function. But then at like nine o'clock at night,
he's like, he's coming out and he's poking around, looking around and stuff. But by then we're
kind of like, come on, you got to go to bed. Like, I got to close the, I got to close the gate here.
I got to lock you in. Not for his safety, for the safety of the neighborhood. Like, he goes crazy.
Oh, he'd go nuts. Rampaging. So there you go. To the person who emailed in asking for a Terry
update, there you go. Yeah. You didn't even need to ask. He's huge now. And, and, you didn't even need to ask.
He's huge now and he just roams around the backyard of his own free will.
Nothing seems to bug him.
Yeah, he's big now.
He's gotten really big.
He's 10 foot long.
He's not like a Galapagos tortoise or anything.
He's not like fucking, you know, you don't need like a pickup truck to move him around.
He's like about the size of like a plate, I guess.
Damn.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But man, nothing nothing.
Nothing fucks with them though.
Like cats.
We had, we had a groundhog yesterday.
Big groundhog just sleeping outside our house.
Yeah.
What do you mean you had a groundhog?
It was huge.
Groundhog?
Big ground.
No, no, sorry, not a groundhog, sorry.
It was a squirrel.
No, not a squirrel.
It's like it looks like a hedgehog.
A hedgehog?
Oh, a hedgehog.
God, that was really, I thought, holy shit, we've got groundhogs in Europe.
Yeah, sorry, I got my hogs mixed up there.
You mixed up your little hogs.
Mixed up my hogs.
Yeah, no, we had a hedgehog last night.
When it's really hot, they, we get.
He's like a local hedgehog.
He just likes to sleep next to our house.
Oh, they're so lovely.
They're so lovely and so stupid, bless them.
If you watch the David Attenborough thing about animals that live in London, which
is a great, as someone who lives here, it's great to see.
I'm aware of these, all these animals that live in London, but there were a couple I didn't,
the snakes that live in the trees near Camden Lock, for example.
Right.
But the hedgehogs, I think one of the reasons they're endangered is obviously roads and having
to crossroads, people walling up their garden.
people not having plants and like compost heaps and things for them to go in.
But another reason is they are really stupid animals that can barely see
and they can't even have sex consistently.
I have like a 2% success rate at having sex.
So even if they happen to bump into each other,
the chance of them getting pregnant and having more hedgehogs is very slim.
They're just not cut out for modern life.
We've got to do more to protect the poor little hedgehogs.
It's all the spikes that keep the ladies away, I think.
They need to, you know, think about, think about that.
Are you, you sound like a hedgehog in-cell when you say that.
Yeah, are you a hedgehog insol out of interest?
Right.
If they're women, they're jokes, we weren't so fucking spiky at the time.
And maybe we'd fuck them all.
They're only interested in badgers, aren't they?
I saw they want.
They like, they, apparently they eat insects, snails, frogs, toad, snakes,
bird eggs, carrion and mushrooms, grassroots, berries, melons.
Cigarette butts.
step up from all the other things.
They just eat melons.
They love cigarettes.
They love cigarette butts.
They love big melons.
Hey, I'm with the hedgehogs.
God bless them.
So, yeah.
I mean, the thing is over here, especially when it rains, we do get lots of slugs and
snails and stuff.
So I guess these hedgehogs are just going buck wild when that happens.
Oh, hell yeah.
It's meant to rain today, actually.
So maybe he's in for a buffet.
All these animals, sometimes it feels to me like some of them,
don't have any idea where they're, what they're doing.
I don't know if you've ever seen a frog go around,
but it just sort of, it's almost like it's going randomly, right?
And sometimes you see it going for a bug or whatever.
When you see them in, even in like, in the wild,
they're not very good at catching their prey.
They're just spending the whole day doing it.
And it's like just luck if one of them jumps into its mouth.
But the same thing with the frog.
It's like the frog gets lucky if something jumps in its mouth.
The hedgehog gets lucky if a frog,
literally jumps in its mouth.
Do you mean, they're not like elite prey hunters, are they?
No, they got like these little tiny mouths and like these pointy little snows.
They're really cute, though.
They're all sort of just half ass in it and somehow survive.
They are really cute.
Good on them.
They need help where they can.
I'm worried.
I'm currently concerned, obviously, because I haven't seen the pigeons that are nesting in
my front.
Pigeons.
Is that what you call them?
The pigeons.
The pigeons.
The pigeons.
Who, darling, wake out.
The pigeons are missing.
I decided to use your terms, T-Flax, Pitchie and Mrs. Pitchie, but they've gone and there's
little chicks in the nest, but I haven't seen them around in a couple of days, and I'm a bit worried
the chicks are going to starve? Have they been abandoned? Does that happen? Well, where are the
chicks? They're in the nest. And can you see them? Yeah. And are they still alive?
Looks like it. The parents are still doing their business. So don't worry about it.
Okay. All right. Don't worry about it. It's hard to know. I think at that age, if they're, I mean,
this heat, maybe the pidgees are just like not flying around as much.
They might as still pop up on the windowsill, but maybe once a month.
They've kind of given up on me at this point, and rightly so because I'm not feeding them
anymore.
So don't worry.
Don't worry.
I think if the chicks are still alive after a couple of days, the chance that they're just
not eating is almost zero, right?
Like at that age, I'm pretty sure that they would have to be fed.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
What do you call?
Ornithologists.
I got a question for you guys, actually.
This is something I was thinking about today, right?
because last night watching the Scotland-Brazil game,
I was watching it with some people
and while we were playing some games.
And one of my mates was quite happy that Scotland was losing
because he's English and he was angry about the way
that Scottish and Welsh and Irish fans will tend to support
whichever team is playing against England.
I didn't want to get into all that.
Like I understand all the history and everything,
but there is something I did wonder, which is if you,
I mean, I know we've all played these grand strategy games set in Europe, right?
Like, your crusader kings, your hearts of irons, your EU fours and fives and all the rest of it.
If you look at Europe back then, much like the UK, it was very patchwork, wasn't it?
So Spain had like Aragon and there's like Catalonia and there's like the Basque region, everything, like all these different regions.
But now Spain is one huge country.
It's not a kingdom that includes this bit and these other bits.
So at what point did England, Scotland and Wales not.
say, no, no, no, you're all just England now. And you can complain about that, but people
will forget in time. Because Spain and France and Germany are all collections of regions
that could essentially have been autonomous if they'd stayed the way that Wales and Scotland did.
But then decided to group into the larger.
I'm just wondering what it was. Is it because we did a deal with them? Is it because
they were separate kingdoms? They set up the United Kingdom, but they, but functionally,
everything just worked the same, I think. Like way back when they said, you know, we're going to make
the United Kingdom of, you know, Great Britain and Northern Ireland or whatever. Yeah, yeah, but
why didn't Spain be that with their bits? They had Great Britain, which was meant to be England,
Wales, and Scotland, right? Great. And Northern Ireland or might have been the whole of Ireland.
is what makes it the UK.
So it could have just been Great Britain, but it's always just been kind of separated out, right?
Right, but that's what I'm saying is why all the times we kicked Scotland's ass or Wales
or whatever, why didn't we just say, well, this is all ours now?
Yeah, I don't know.
Like the way that all those other countries did.
I think they were always allowed to have some sort of like, you know, localized government
and even more so now with like devolution.
With the devolution stuff.
whereas I think like in France for example, most of France's departments doesn't matter where you are in the world.
You're learning the same stuff. It's all the same curriculum. Like everything is very managed by France, which is hard to do obviously when you're not just in France itself. You know, like if you're talking about like a colony or something, you know, elsewhere, it must be very hard to manage. But they seem to do it.
Yeah, but if you look at something like Brittany, Brittany was not a full part of France.
It was like a separate thing.
Britney Spears.
Do you look at Britney?
I don't mind looking at Britney, honestly, these days.
Modern Britney or Britney when she was at the peak of her powers?
You're a fan of Britney Spears these days?
She's been crazy.
She's got a crazy looking right, which is understandable.
She's got like the meth teeth and everything these days.
She's fucking.
She'd fucking go ham on you, though.
She'd give you a hell of a trip.
Would she these days?
Yeah, to A&E.
wouldn't be my concern.
Yeah, I would be an A&E.
Or the clinic.
God, that's true.
I mean, I've, I've hurt my wrist just like, you know.
You were that much of a fan.
You pulled a wrist.
Well, I was, I was doing some, like,
lugging stuff around in my garden.
Like some heavy, like, basically my guard is full of shit.
Nice.
I'm moving it all to the front drive to put in a skip.
And it's, it's just, I've just, I think I've twisted my wrist or whatever.
I don't think you understand what you just said.
We were talking about Brittany's,
And you were basically leching over Britney Spears and then you said, I've hurt my wrist.
Do you understand the thread that could be drawn between those two things?
Thinking about Britney Spears.
Well, you know, masturbation, Lewis.
I'm talking about excessive masturbation.
Yeah. Well, you know, Britney Spears, she was a bit of an, a bit of the OG.
You know, our tastes are set in early years.
We've found this podcasted fans of Britney Spears, Liz Hurley,
and to a lesser extent, we'll take Elizabeth Taylor.
We'll put her in the mix as well.
What about Cindy Crawford?
Yeah, she was fine as hell.
Gillian Anderson.
What?
I always liked Cindy Lauper as well.
I'll be honest.
Let's not go into this.
Let's not go into this path.
Sorry, Britney Spears.
Brittany in France.
Brittany in France.
Yeah, Brittany in France.
Yeah, they were like a separate thing.
They were very much a part of France.
Yeah.
I think all of this stuff was most people who make decisions don't do it with a very long view.
They sort of think, oh, can we patch this up temporarily and see how it goes?
You know, they don't have, people don't have an idea of what's going to happen in the future
and how people are going to react and how they're going to be perceived.
And most politicians don't have a very, at least certainly these, but it's always been the case,
don't have a very long time that they are at the top.
And they're doing their best to cling on all that time.
It's like this, you know, this pile that you've scrabble to the top of.
And as soon as you get to the top of the pile, everyone starts hating you.
And they hate you more and more and more unless you declare war on someone, in which case,
your numbers go up for a little while, then go right into the toilet.
You know, it's mental, but it's always been that way.
History, you know, in order to avoid the mistakes of the past, you've never done that.
You have to study history.
We've never done that.
We've never ever learned from our mistakes.
No, we don't.
We don't, though.
It's a classic throughout all of history, right?
the same mistakes being made
all time and time again.
We love a good
and Sancholyama
who says those that failed to learn from history
are doomed to repeat it.
But actually, you know,
it's a very true thing.
It does feel like we are,
everyone does the same,
we make the same mistakes over and over again
because it's always new people
who don't know and haven't.
But we do know.
That's the whole point.
We wrote down that we did it when it was now.
Just pick up a history.
People don't read that.
You'd hope the people in charge would.
But I think the people in charge read history and were like, huh, the guys who did all that shit
just kind of got away with it.
So we should do that.
That's the problem.
Is it the story that is, the tale that is as old as time, is that the rich get richer.
And they always have.
And they keep the power and they hand it down to their kids and so on and so forth.
So their message from history is we should absolutely maintain the status quo because
it's fucking rocks.
Everybody else is just too stupid and lazy to actually.
to actually stop these bursons
and they haven't got this
their head stop.
No.
So what kind of shit
have you been doing
on autopilot sits?
Oh yeah.
I want to know like your kind of
sleepwalking day
where you get up.
I do like lots of stuff
because there's just lots of like
little like microchores
to do around kids all the time right?
So you you get into like a groove with them.
You know what you need to be doing
to like move things along.
So like there's certain things you got to do
to you know get them.
What time do you get up?
these days. He gets up to 7 a.m. Like seven, quarter after seven or so, I guess. Okay. Okay. And so what's your like
morning routine? Do you have a shower first or do you sometimes depends. Like if I didn't shower
the day before then yeah, I'll need to. But, uh, but sometimes like sometimes I'll shower.
So do you sniff yourself and to find out if you need to? Yeah. Is that the, yeah. I just,
I just sort of have like an idea of how swampy my groin is at any time. Uh, okay. And then I just
just know that like it's time to hit the shower but it's never it's never consistent i don't like
shower every morning sometimes i shower at night sometimes i'm a fine of an evening showers i just
shower whenever i can sort of thing it's not like uh there's not like a set time for for showering
sort of thing uh what do i do i wake up um my son uh goes to school much earlier than my daughters
because he catches a bus so we get we we we get up um and then we we
we sort of like sleepwalk into, well, sometimes he has like cocoa pops.
Sometimes he has like, cheerios, whatever, pancakes, like not like, not like scotch pancakes,
you know, like the ones you just put in the toaster or whatever.
And do you make that for him?
Do you make, do you get his breakfast?
Sometimes.
My wife normally is like more willing in the morning, you know, like I'm like dead in the
morning.
I'm not like an early morning person at all.
Like I just, I, I, I cannot function really.
So you're autopiliting around.
So I'm really autopiloting first thing in the morning.
Is there a lot to do of like tidying from yesterday or washing up?
I mean, there always is, but it's never done.
I mean, if we, if my, my wife stays home because we have so many kids and there's just a lot to do at home.
If she, if she went out to work, we both went out to work and, and we got home every day at like whatever, five, six o'clock.
and our house was just left the way it is every day,
it would be so fucking miserable.
Like I think it would just be maybe,
maybe possibly the worst existence ever.
So it's good that she's at home because she can like sort of tidy up and keep on top of it.
There's so much washing to do.
There's so much food to buy.
Like, well, I mean, it's like, you know, there's five of us, right?
So it's a, it's a, it's a big, it's a big ship to steer.
constantly. But yeah, like we should tidy up from the day before. We never do because there's
never time to do that. Um, so there's always stuff everywhere and people stuff everywhere.
Nobody can never find anything because there's stuff everywhere because we're just like,
like when it comes to like stuff like that, we're just absolutely time poor, you know,
like you see people on TV and they've got these perfect houses with no clutter and, you know,
they delicately fold all of their undies and socks in their drawers. And it's like, we can't,
just can't do it. Like it would, it would require way too much time and it's just impossible.
So it's, it's, it's pretty chaotic. Well, I mean, you've been here before. You know what it was like.
Then that's when I had two. Um, we have three now. So it's, it's, it's even worse.
Kind of, it's kind of like organized chaos. It is. Right. It's like, but it's also like kind of like,
this like as tidy and clean as you can make it given that like you just don't have,
there's certain things you don't have time for. And one thing I noticed was like every single cupboard in
your kitchen was like spilling out.
You open any drawer and they're like packed to the gills.
But the thing is, it's all on the surface.
Everything you use is like the two inches away from the door.
Anything further back in that cupboard is useful.
I mean, you know what it's like.
You go to the, sometimes you go to the grocery store and you're hungry.
So you're like, oh, yeah, you get all these, these big ideas.
And then you get home and you put everything away.
And then a lot of that stuff that is not normal stuff that you get, just gets pushed
to the further back in the cupboard.
Exactly.
And then it's...
I think the one example I had was like, pepper.
I wanted to get some pepper out.
And you were like, oh, yeah, we got some pepper.
And sort of...
And then suddenly you were like, we're like rummaging, like, arm deep in the cupboard, you know.
And the pepper's like, the pepper that's like 10 years out day.
Yeah, that's fine.
It was there.
It's pepper.
But it was like...
It was like, okay.
And I guess you don't use pepper routinely ever.
No, not really.
Like, it just depends.
Because there's no time to put pepper in the food that you're making for your family necessarily.
That's just not a priority.
Preparing food for...
for three small kids.
Well, I mean, they're not that small anymore.
I guess one of them is.
But yeah, I mean, it's like, you can do.
Like, you might do.
But, but you tend not to, you know.
I see like a lot of people now, like, I went to the dump last week to, to, to just, I love
a man.
So do I.
In this heat, it's no.
No, it wasn't this, this heat last week.
It was fine.
Yeah.
So I went there and I noticed tons of people were throwing out in the, in the, in the
cardboard recycling, Hello Fresh boxes, which I guess is like,
Oh, really?
Becoming more and more popular because probably people are just like, I want to eat
things that aren't just maybe takeaway or whatever, you know?
So I guess they get, what is it just like a bunch of fresh vegetables and stuff?
With the seasoning pouches and everything and you can just whip up a meal and it's got everything
you need in there sort of thing.
Yeah.
That's the idea.
Very basic shit.
But yes.
So, I mean, we just do that anyway, but it's probably more.
more basic than that, you know, like we probably would just have like, you know, potatoes and
like some broccoli.
Like, I don't know, like, like a meat free, uh, escalope or something like that.
And that's, you know, that's, you know, that's, you know, like those like, it's like fake
chicken and it's like, it's like a chicken Kiev, but it's like, it's not got any chicken in it.
It's got some of it.
Yeah, they've got like, uh, they've got like sometimes they got like cheese in them or
something.
Like they're pretty nice.
Like, it's just instead of having like, you know, a steak or something with what you'd have like
potatoes and meat and then maybe something else.
You've got to have something.
Yeah.
Something interesting with your root vegetables, I guess.
But, but yeah, I mean, nothing, nothing exciting.
Nothing, like, too exciting.
It's all pretty, pretty simple stuff, stuff that's like easy enough to make and throw together.
Homely fair.
When the weather's like this, we just eat cereal.
like all the time
what did you
what did you take to the dump
um
wait you have cereal for dinner
sometimes yeah
especially if it's fucking hot
we had a nice salad yesterday though
that was good
it's like a girl dinner
sometimes we're the same
we got back at like 830
and me and my partner
just looked to each other
and I was like I can't be asked
to prepare anything
and she was like I can't eat anything
I mean it's like that
it's like that lot
and I think she had like some pickles
out of the jar
and some grapes it was like very
killing me
just random whatever we're killing
whatever we had.
Yesterday I cooked
hoisin garlic noodles
with stir-fried
hoisin beef
over a hot oven,
the wok I was sweating
took 20 minutes.
I didn't even want to turn the oven on yesterday
because it was so hot.
Day before that,
it was so hot yesterday.
Oven roasted, paprika, mayonnaise,
chicken and potatoes
with some edamame beans.
Took an hour I was sweating.
You got to cook
for the fam.
Yeah, we had a salad yesterday.
We had some nice lettuce and some tomatoes and some cucumbers and some avocado and some peppers and a little bit dressing and some French bread.
It was nice.
It was nice and nice and light and good for the hot weather.
I can't do it.
I've got these kids used to the finest.
Yeah.
I'm like pulling new recipes out.
I'm looking up me and Mrs.
F are doing shots.
We're like, right, let's cook this.
Honestly, I feel like maybe we would do stuff like that if we just had like.
you know, more time and inclination. But again, being, being time poor and like the whole thing,
um, the whole thing just like crushes itself under the weight of it too, right? Like you just,
there's, there's other things to do and you just, uh, slowly all these little things just,
uh, you just stop doing. You don't even realize it's happening. And then, and then you turn
around. You're like, oh my God. I'm, I, I live like a student. Like I just like, I barely wash.
I eat pot noodles. And like, you know, it's just like, it's like going back in time. But you
You don't realize it's happened, but I think when my kids are older, we'll probably,
we'll probably do more interesting food.
We, we multiple, like I know that Lewis likes to, as I've said before, paint me as some
barbarian that only eats raw meat, but I've got lots of recipes that are purely, you know,
they'd be perfectly fine for a vegetarian.
I don't know if they'd be, let me check if this is vegan.
This is creamy chickpea spinach masala with Tadka.
So I think it's got, yeah, I mean, blah, blah, blah.
I would absolutely make that and eat it.
But I just...
You're right with coconut milk, Lewis, aren't you?
That's okay, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Spanish.
This is completely vegan and vegetarian-free.
I'm just looking.
I don't think because it's...
A lot of Indian food is.
There is nothing on here that you couldn't eat.
No.
It does have a very long ingredient list.
See, but the thing is, is like, if you're spending an hour preparing something,
it's just like immediately, it's just like now.
no way.
Like, there's no way we could spend an hour preparing something.
Because it would just, it would just fuck up everything.
Our kids would just go to bed at like 11 o'clock.
We'd get like no time in the evening.
You wanted to eat at six.
Let's say you wanted to eat at six.
What's stopping someone between five and six cooking this?
Because as soon as you step into the kitchen, turn the oven on,
dad, mom, can I have this?
Can I color?
Can I make a spaghetti bridge?
Can I do this?
And it's just like, you get five.
Five seconds to do stuff like every time.
Yeah, but I mean, you just spend your whole life saying no and yelling, you know?
Like, it's just, it's easier to just like not do that and then just, you know, make some, some zoodles.
It takes like two seconds.
Just chuck some zoodles into a into a saucepan and the way you go.
Zoodles.
Alphaghetti or whatever, you know, like zucchini noodles.
No, not zucchini.
No, zoodles.
I think it's like a Canadian.
It's like spaghetti hoops.
They're like Canadian ones.
They're called Zoodles.
Oh, they're like, they're like processed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cool.
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Before we continue, this podcast is sponsored by Shopify.
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trifles. That's Shopify.com slash trifles. On with this show. I found out something today that I
thought was quite interesting. This is a podcast that enjoys things from the past. We like talking about
stuff from the past. Who remembers Techno Viking?
Techno Viking. I saw something about this.
Wasn't it like a German meme or something like that? Techno Viking?
Here's a picture of the guy. It was a video.
I've seen it.
So this was 2001 this was uploaded. This was like one of the early internet memes that
everybody knew. So for anyone that doesn't know, look up Techno Viking on YouTube.
It's a guy bare chested looks like a Viking war. He's got braided hair.
He's got a Mjolny pendant.
And it's from a Berlin parade called Fuck Parade,
which is the kind of thing you can only have in Berlin.
I love that.
And there's a line of people,
and a guy walks up and sort of man handles a woman,
and he just calmly and strongly takes the guy away,
tells him you cannot do that,
and then sees him off,
and he's pointing at him like,
I'm watching you,
and then the sort of rave begins,
and he starts doing like the techno,
like dance, but while walking.
A very famous video at the time,
Everybody knows Techno Viking.
Here's what I didn't know is that the actual Techno Viking sued the maker of this film.
Really?
For using his personality rights without his permission.
No way.
Did he win?
And he won.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
So he didn't want to be a public figure.
He didn't want anything to do with this.
He just likes Techno and protecting women.
So leave the Techno Viking alone.
That was the court ruling in 2013.
She had to pay him 13,000 euros and damages.
Wow.
10K and court costs.
And almost all the money.
that was made from YouTube
that ads and sales
and techno Viking merchandise
he got.
So there's the truth
about techno Viking merchandise.
That's crazy.
Apparently.
Well, this is,
I think this is,
listen,
I don't think this is a situation
where this man did not want
to be known as a
protector of women
and all-round cool guy.
I think it's a situation
where someone's filmed him
using his face
and his likeness is selling merch
and making money off of him,
but he's not getting a cent of it.
I think in Germany,
as well, it's illegal to film individuals without their permission.
Even in a public place.
Even in a public place.
I think it's a single...
Let's find out.
I think you can film groups, but not a single individual specifically if it's overly
focused on them.
And I think that's why.
So, yeah, like...
German regulations, according to this Reddit post, this eight-year-old Reddit post,
German regulations are the strictest in the free world.
Well, yeah, we've fallen fell of those before, actually, with a few.
Stiff rule.
If you want to, if you want to correct that or email in with some further details,
Periumflax at gmail.com.
Hop it in an email episode, which we might do.
We will do.
We're definitely, we're going to do one this week for sure, right, guys?
Well, I am down for that.
But let me tell you something.
I create a fold.
The way I do the mailbag is I read through all the emails and I create a folder.
And the one I've got is called Next Triforce.
And then when I've done an email, I drag it into the, we,
We have read this one email, so I don't read the same one twice.
Right.
And I've been stacking up now for about a month, maybe more.
I've got so many mailbag emails to read.
Jingles, all sorts.
This was meant to me for the next episode.
There's 125 emails in my, this is for the next episode.
We're never going to read all this.
It's not that we're not trying, P-Flax.
It's just that people are busy.
You've got your other podcasts going on.
I'm just trying to explain to the people that I have an email from
February 1st.
You're going away again, aren't you?
When are you going away?
I don't know about that.
He's going away at some point.
You're going to go away probably in the summer anyway, right?
Do you got any Holly Bob's planned?
Not in the summer.
Our year's a bit weird here.
Mrs. F. and the youngest are going away to France for about 10 days.
Wow.
And they're just going for a nice little, well, not quite.
Maybe seven or eight days.
They're going away just for a nice mother-daughter, you know, excursion abroad.
We've got the dog, the World Cup final.
Dogs having a holiday.
Dogs are chilling.
Dogs are going to be looked after.
World Cup finals, what, on the 19th of July, right?
Yeah.
And we're having a street party that day.
A lot of people are.
Yeah.
But I...
The World Cup final.
There was a chance that I might have some work coming up in July.
So I'd know.
So I didn't go.
I didn't go to France of them.
And also the eldest didn't want to go.
So I'll stay with him and we'll chill.
We'll live like pigs.
That'll be great.
That's July.
August could be busy.
I'm saving up for that.
We've got some stuff at the end of August.
September, not doing anything.
We're not going away till October.
We're going to Greece in October.
Nice.
To get a little bit of the tail end of the summer.
But I'm not having a big summer holiday this year.
No.
Because we went to Japan last year, rinsed us.
You guys will never guess what I'm doing this summer.
I bet I can guess.
Okay, go.
I'm going to give myself two guesses.
Is that okay?
Two guesses, yeah.
All right.
First guess, center parks.
Yes, you've got it.
There you go.
Oh.
A treat you yourself.
You know how to live the life of luxury, don't you, Sips?
I already got the car service.
It's all ready to go.
Everything's booked.
You're getting a ferry.
Oh, yeah.
All the way to the UK.
Taking a ferry, yep.
Which center pops are you going to?
Longly.
Don't reveal that information.
They'll set the lions on you.
Well, that's massive.
It's massive.
Longly.
Well, you're going to pop into Bristol.
We're going to forget to see you at all.
Not during that trip, probably.
Because it's a, it's a, it's a,
But well, if you're lucky.
He's on holiday.
I'm coming out,
I'm coming out end of July for a couple of days.
Yeah, he's coming down in July.
Yeah, I'm down, I'm down for a couple days.
I'm doing a mystery quest.
I'm only about 45 minutes drive.
45 minutes.
That's a lot of driving.
That's like, well, for you as a jersey man,
when everything's within 10 minutes.
I was going to come down for the mystery quest at the end of July.
But you're not now.
Well, no, because Mrs. F is going away.
It's still, is away.
So I have to be here.
I can't, I can't go down.
No.
You're canceling your, you're dropping out mystery.
That's good for me, though.
I might get to fill in for you.
I think they've already got it covered, actually.
Oh, what?
Yeah, they've replaced you with anybody else possible that they could find is who they replaced you.
It's honestly, it's so nice being the backup.
It's so nice.
Yeah, being the, it gets so much work as the backup.
It's surprising.
The mystery quest stuff, is it filmed in the office?
Or do you guys rent out a games night room?
All right, okay, that's fine.
It's really good.
Remember what we used to do the old Yogs quests and we used to rent out those little studio spaces and stuff?
Yeah, above the pubs and stuff.
We had the one above the pub and then we had that other one that was in like a warehouse
and it had that big, it looked like it looked like it was like part of a skate park.
Remember it had like that really curvy white wall?
Oh, yeah, that really shit one.
Did you remember we did the Brexit bunker?
That was in a hired space.
That was nice.
That was in a nice spot.
That was in like a wine cellar.
Compt.
We've used that place to do that to do Tom and Ben's thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was nice.
Tom War thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fairly close to where you used to live, Lewis.
I know you don't live there anymore.
Yeah, I lived on Park Street.
We did the Pride stream yesterday.
Yogscast, it's Pride Week.
Yeah, yeah.
We've done three streams.
We've streamed a bit less lately.
I'm not going to talk about it here particularly, but we did it.
We've done three big streams this week.
Bunner-Claught Tower was great last night.
It's one of these things, though,
but the Clot Tower is one of these games,
which sometimes you get a bit tired of
because you have a sort of string of bad games,
and then suddenly everything goes to plan.
I think a lot of the time in Blondon-the-Clock Tower,
we're setting up these pins, skittles,
and then hoping that the players will knock them down.
And sometimes it just doesn't go like that.
Sometimes people just go completely off the rails
and down a direction.
And it's often interesting and fun the direction they take
and why and
it's,
but I think a lot of the time
we don't necessarily
do a good job
of explaining to the audience
the road's not taken.
You know,
I think we're going to have
to add that in future
because,
but last night,
you know,
it was so,
we just,
we had a role called
the pit hag guys.
I don't know if you've ever played
of that.
No.
Basically it means it,
it lets someone
change other people's roles
and it means that the game
becomes like immediately
incredibly incredibly complicated.
Right.
And it's confusing for,
even for me.
Right.
And so,
but it was just,
I think everyone had,
was in such a good energy, it was such a good time.
And it's a funny old game, because I sort of, you know, we're doing so much blood on the
clock tail lately.
You know, you guys have been in it and you know.
And you've been, you've enjoyed it being in it, Sips, haven't you?
Yeah, it's fun, yeah.
Yeah, it is fun.
You want to, yeah, you'd like to do more, I'm sure.
And it sounds like a threat more than a request.
It's become our like, you know, one of our main content.
And I want to, I think is I'm like torn between making it.
more like, more reliable, you know, making it more, you know, because there's a lot of purists
who are saying, well, why don't they just play the basic game? They don't have to turn it into
some zany thing. But there's also like a lot of us, you know, a kind of, we want to try new things.
We want to like make, we want to surprise our players. And we always have, like, even like back
in the day with Shadow viz fellow Yog Labs and stuff like this, we want to kind of give our players
a shock, live, you know, be like, this is a weird thing that's happening. Deal with this.
and see how they react.
And I think it's,
it's fun.
And it doesn't all,
but I think the problem is
sometimes it doesn't work out.
And that's,
that's quite,
that's quite demoralizing
when something you've planned.
It's like so,
it was like this good,
it was almost awesome,
you know?
Yeah.
But I don't know,
there is like an element of,
seems to always be an element
of whatever streamer luck,
you guys call it,
where sometimes just good stuff
just happens to happen,
live.
Yeah.
And it's like,
We didn't plan this.
It just worked out so nicely.
I don't know.
I've been thinking about the game a lot on game design recently
because it's like,
it's a pretty basic game, really.
What?
Blood on the Court Tower.
Yeah.
I played a fun game.
I played a game on the,
on one of the Yogs pride streams
earlier in the week called Mecca Chameleon,
which is like,
oh yeah.
I fucking forgot.
It's like,
it's a bit like proper.
It's the latest sort of games,
friend slop thing.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
It's prop hunt, but you don't, uh, you don't disguise yourself as a prop on the map.
You're like a little gingerbread man or like a little stick man, but you can pose yourself.
Uh, and then you can paint yourself.
So what you do is you try to like blend in with the scenery and you get points for, uh, when the hunter is looking for you.
If the hunter just is looking at you but doesn't realize you're there because they can shoot you to,
to eliminate you.
Um, you get more and more points.
So like you're, you're rewarded for hiding in plain sight, more or less, you know, like,
you can't just like insert yourself into like some impossible to find crack or whatever
because there's like some mechanic in the game where it says like, you know, this will be
impossible to find.
So we'll just reveal you if you don't move kind of thing.
So you're sort of like encouraged to just hide.
You know, there's a map where it's an art gallery.
So people just hide right in the paintings.
But then they paint themselves to like blend in with the.
painting. We played with Duncan and it was fucking unbelievable. Some of his, because he's very
artistic. He's very good at like drawing and stuff. Thumbails and, and whatnot. And he was,
he was disguising himself in like signs and paintings and stuff. And it looked amazing. There's like a,
there's one. It was like a mall that was like a fast food restaurant. And he, and he was like just
hiding like on the, on the menu. But like he painted himself to like, you know, be half of a box of
French fries and like half of a burger like just to blend in. But like you couldn't see them.
It was amazing. It was it was so much fun. It's good. It's one of these little games.
Again, like I think if you didn't, it's so hard to predict because so many games like this
launch on Steam and do nothing. Yeah. And this game was made by one guy in two months. And it shows,
right? It's, it's, it's the classic example of a janky indie idea that could have done
nothing, but actually now has gone big. And maybe it'll be dead again in,
in another month like, you know, because it, well, I hope not because I got my mecha chameleon
undies and, uh, t-shirt from the merch store and I got my mecha chameleon hat and my
mechicameleon thermos and stuff. So, fuck, I hope it doesn't go under soon. I've invested a lot
in, uh, my love for mecha chameleon. So, you know, uh, no, it's cool though. It's fun.
I thought it was going to be like, I didn't really know what it was going to be like. I, I heard
that it was like prop hunt, but I kept thinking that it was going to be a bit like, like, among
us or something like that, but it's nothing like among us. And it's similar to prop hunt,
but not really like prop hunt either, you know, like it's with the painting and stuff. It is,
it is very different. It's cool though. It's good. Good idea for a game. You should have made that.
You know, why didn't you make it? I sold seven million copies. Come on. I should have. You should have made that.
That's, I'm kicking myself. Yeah. So do you want to talk about football people? I said,
I know you're like holding it in, but you can. He's it. Look, we've got permission.
How, okay, Flax, let me just ask you, how disappointed were you in the England Ghana game?
Do we actually want to do this?
Yeah.
Don't be sad.
Come on.
It's the World Cup.
Everybody's been watching it or at least watching bits and pieces of it.
You can speak for you here.
I just want to know how many.
We've all been watching it.
There's been like, oh, fuck, it feels like a hundred games already or something.
Have you watched any?
I've watched all the games that are not starting after midnight.
Right.
So I've watched them.
I've watched all the games.
You watched a lot.
Yes, I have.
I've missed half of it because, of course, the kickoffs are one and three or whatever it happens.
Yeah, but there's so many games.
And there's been so many lightning events as well with storms.
With the lightning scenarios, like, just call it a fucking thunderstorm.
Like, what's the, why you got to get so, like, weird and, like, weirdly technical with
it?
I don't know.
We're having a lightning event over Boston.
I think it was Monday.
Was it Monday or was it Tuesday?
It was Monday, right?
The, the thunderstorm?
We had a thunderstorm over London.
We had a huge thunderstorm.
But no, I'm saying there was one over London.
Oh, there's one over London.
Yeah, there's one do here tonight.
I think it's going to finally break the weather.
The entire city up at the same time.
I'm not even kidding.
Because there's all these pictures and videos of people saying,
did anyone hear this?
It was like 4 a.m., just around 4 a.m.
There was a lightning bolt over London that was so loud.
I swear to God, at least the whole part that I live in everyone.
Like I looked down my window.
Everyone was looking at their windows at 4 a.m.
Like, lights went on.
It was mad.
Imagine everybody, like, that happened and everybody just knew that it was so loud that everybody would be up.
And then everybody just decided, fuck, now's the perfect time for like a citywide sing song.
You know, like everybody just starts singing Vindoo or something.
Yeah, yeah.
It was raining so bad.
I opened the window to try and look at the storm.
And it was just like someone was firing a hose through my window.
It was a horizontal rain.
The whole street was just a wash.
It was like a river.
Imagine the whole city singing and wind the bobbin up or something?
Like all together.
Wind the bobbin up.
Well, I'm just trying to think of a fun song for everyone to sing.
I'm just going to have to look this up.
I've never heard of it.
You never heard wind the bobbin up?
Bovin up.
Wind the Bobbin up.
2017.
All right.
My kids were too old.
It's a new kid song.
Is Wine the Bobbin up a new kid song?
Because I'm sure that we were singing it.
18, 19.
Yeah, right.
It's old.
It's a old song.
Oh, this video is from 2017.
If it was from 2017, it would be like, why the bobbin upin?
Uh.
Like, it would be like, oh.
weird cadence.
Like it would be, like, it wouldn't be, you can tell it's from like the 1800s because it's like
really jovial and flows nicely and stuff.
Like, it's not like, it doesn't have like a trap beat behind it or anything.
Yeah.
So role play, you're watching the lightning out the window at 4 a.m.
Like, trying to get your kid to stop crying.
What's, what's, sing me, wind the bobbing up.
Wine the bobbing up.
Pull, pull, clap, clap.
You don't know this one.
It's fucking.
It's a classic.
Never heard of it.
Oh my God.
Keep going.
Wind it back again.
Wind it back again.
Pull, pull, clap, clap, clap.
And then it's got the classic point to the ceiling, point to the floor.
And you have to actually point to these things because it's for little kids, right?
Point to the window.
Point to the door.
Clap your hands together.
One, two, three.
Put your hands upon your knees.
Right.
You like that.
Very interactive song.
Point to the lightning.
Point to the rain.
Point to the football.
Point to the ambulance.
Point to the door.
Yeah.
There's lots of things that you could do to alter that song.
But I always thought it was a classic.
Like, I mean, we used to sing it to my son, who's like almost 15 now when he was little.
I mean, I think we've sung it to all of our kids.
And their schools, they've sung it at their schools and everything as well.
So, like, I don't think this.
It's not an obscure song, I don't think.
No, no.
Sure, it's not.
I don't know.
So, have you ever heard of song, Wine the Bobbing Up?
You've heard of it.
You've heard of it.
I haven't heard of it.
She's telling me I have heard of it.
Ask your wife to sing it.
See if she sings it slow or fast.
Come in here.
Come in here.
Because you can sing it slow or fast.
Some people prefer the slow version.
Right.
Sing wind the bobbin up.
Why the bobbin up?
There you go.
I don't remember what the next line is there.
Pull, pull, clap, clap.
Pull, pull, clap.
Pull, pull.
Yeah, okay, you gave it a go.
Okay, that's not bad.
That's good.
That's good.
Good tempo as well.
Did we ever sing that to our children?
Really in between.
No, but they sing it when you take the nurseries.
Oh, nurseries is though.
Okay.
I've never heard that song.
Thank you, sweetie.
No, we neither.
I'm going to hear it everywhere now.
You're going to hear it everywhere now.
I'm going to be singing that shit all day.
YouTube's going to fucking recommend it to listen.
Why am that bombing up?
Why am that bombing up?
Yeah.
Hey, Lewis, have you ever seen Mr.
Tumble before?
Yes.
Thanks.
I have.
He was aware of it.
Yeah, a mystery, mystery that he was not caught up in the U-Tree investigation.
I don't know how.
Well, he's a good lad.
He's beloved.
You know what?
I've found out about Mr.
Tumble this week was that he is the number one wished for Make a Wish.
He has got like thousands of.
Yeah, he's got a cool.
It's incredible because I tell you what, his show is the worst thing to have to watch as an adult.
It is, it gives you nothing.
Most of the other shows like Pepper Pig, bang in show.
Actually has some fun.
jokes in and some jokes in there for grown-ups and shit. Mr. Tumble, nothing.
Yeah, Mr. Tumble is...
And he looks like a big toddler. He just makes noises. All the characters are awful.
Like he has a robot butler, which is just awful. Oh, it's so bad. They do like a live Panto
version every year, which is just Drek, absolute Drek, and he's so successful and popular. I don't
get it. It's because he's incorporated wind the bobbin up into a lot of his love shows. That's
wine. Very interactive song.
If the whine the bobbin' up, people ever get caught on to this.
I'm ruined.
I'm ruined.
Wind the bobbin up.
And Mr.
Tumble as well.
There's some shows that I probably will always remember
rightly or wrongly for the rest of my life.
In the Night Garden,
which is like a bit of a trip.
And then Mr.
Tumble as well.
Again,
it's such a jank show,
but all of my kids of,
Kids have fucking loved it.
Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom is a good show.
That's the one about the elves and their fate of really good.
My youngest loves that watch you watch.
That's a great show.
That's a great show.
Both of my daughters have really liked that miraculous ladybug as well.
The superhero one takes place in Paris.
No, don't know that one.
Might be too late for.
Yeah, maybe.
But I got a 14 year old and a 17 year old.
So essentially we stopped watching little kids telly maybe, I'd say at least eight years ago.
Yeah, you would have.
Yeah.
We've had it on consistently in our house now for like 15 years.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's all burned in there.
It's burned in.
Do they still do number jacks?
Is that still a show?
I don't know if they make new ones, but they will occasionally like reshow old ones, number jacks.
Valamori's back.
Balamori's a banger.
That's a great show.
Oh, what's the story in Balamori?
They rebooted it.
Yeah, they did.
They're all very old.
Baramori, we're still here.
They didn't send help.
We've been begging for help.
What's the story of Balamori?
Where did Adel sick home?
We can't wipe.
We need someone to bath us.
We need food and surprise desperately.
This is all, this is for anyone listening and not understanding what we're talking about.
This is very UK specific on a channel called CBBs, which is a BBC channel, but it's called CBBs and it's aimed at toddlers, basically.
No adverts.
No ads.
Most of the programming is either British.
Sometimes they collaborate with French companies to make shows.
And very often they seem to collaborate with Canadian companies to make shows as well.
But normally they're kind of like dubbed so that they have British accents.
I guess it's just a cultural thing for young toddlers who are born in Britain or whatever.
I guess they don't want to subject them to like.
like all these different accents too,
too soon.
So everything is like,
you know,
made to be more British,
which is,
which is fine.
You can't really tell,
I guess.
But we've definitely been to,
to Canada and seen the same shows and they,
uh,
sound very different because again,
they,
either the show is,
is originally Canadian and they've dubbed it or they've taken a
British show and then dubbed it over with like a more of a Canadian accent.
I,
I guess it's just something they do.
I don't know why they do it, but there you go.
CBBs, if you're at all interested, which you shouldn't be, unless you have kids.
Do you want to lose news?
Yeah.
Please, yeah.
There are two elements of World Cup related news, so we can't avoid that.
The TSA, obviously the American border police, I guess.
Transport security.
What are they going?
Transport security.
They have been warning.
World Cup tourists to stop chugging ranch
dressing.
Apparently they've written here,
the world is slowly discovering ranch
pairs perfectly with,
and they've listed load of foods,
who knew diplomacy
could be achieved through addressing the obvious
ranch is the king of condiments.
However, you cannot bring home any ranch.
They have to be in containers
less than three ounces.
Oh, do they still have the restrictions on liquids and stuff in America then?
Yep, they do.
In America they do?
You can't.
So all of these people are bringing home ranch dressing because of the meme, but they're
getting then allowed to carry in there, carry on.
You can absolutely get it here.
And it is not some mystery connoisse we've never heard of.
Subway, a huge chain subway, for a long time, Ranch was one of the sources.
Then they stopped doing it, presumably because people weren't using it,
replace it with garlic ioli and i liked ranch i've obviously the idea that it was some mystery
people discovering what are you talking about ranch is you can get it in here i remember ranch
it's just a slightly piquon mayonnaise like that's all it is i i'm more of a french dressing i like a
french dressing you know like i don't know what they put in there i like a french undressing
know what i'm saying oh no i think you mean ho ho ho ho um no but um no but um
I don't know what they put in a French dressing, but I do like a French dressing.
I feel like there's like maybe a little bit of mutard in there or something.
Oh, yeah.
I like a good vinaigrette with a vect moutard.
Yes, yeah.
I think that is just French dressing, basically.
Yeah, that's a venegrat.
Please avoid chugging your ranch.
It's a very British thing to do to start doing some weird thing.
Anyway, Scotland fans, Scotland fans have drunk all the beer in Boston.
This was last week.
This was last week.
So by the time this goes out, this is two-week-old.
lose news.
The tart, well, listen, Sam writes this in the week.
We do the podcast and then it goes out a week later.
That's the best case scenario.
Sometimes there's a much longer delay on the old lose news.
So, yeah, the tartan army have drunk four times what the Boston beer company usually stops.
Right.
And I had to schedule an emergency beer delivery.
I saw a very funny interview.
We've never seen anything like it.
Are Scotland out then, or do they go through?
Very close to being out.
Right. This is depending on how some of the other games play out.
Yeah. So if you finish in third, there's a chance you go through.
There's like the top eight teams in the, that are placed third.
There's 12 third place teams. That's how many fucking groups are. It's ridiculous.
There's 12 teams that could go through, but only the top eight from that third place group will go through.
Scotland are currently on three points. They need to basically hope that all the teams blow them fuck up.
enough teams blow them fuck up.
And that's what?
Teams in group D and F and H?
No, it's just all the groups.
Any group.
So like, yeah.
So if you look, the Bosnia are currently top on four points in third place.
I know you've got the likes of Sweden or South Korea, stuff like that.
Then it's Scotland in seventh.
Cap Verde or Cabo Verde are in eighth.
But they've only played twice.
So if Cabo Verde have a good result, they could leapfrog Scotland.
Paraguay and all that, all the rest is.
So the problem is Belgium, Congo, Ecuador and Senegal.
all in 9, 10, 11, 12, if they win some games handily, the Scots could be in big trouble.
That's the issue.
So there's a round of 32 this year.
And then the traditional round of 16.
Yeah.
It is mad.
It's such a big bloated World Cup.
And they want to make it bigger for the 100th anniversary next time.
They're like, let's do a hundred teams.
And the next World Cup is going to be in Morocco, right?
I don't think it's just in Morocco.
I think it's split with some other countries.
Because the way they do it now is they don't just make one country.
do it. In the same way it's U.S., Mexico, and Canada, you would do something like, I think it's like Morocco, Spain, Portugal.
I could be wrong. That would make sense, yeah. Let me check. A bit of traveling around, but
yeah. So it's Morocco, Spain, Portugal, and a special opening matches in Uruguay, Argentina,
and Paraguay, because it's the 100th anniversary of the World Cup. So those opening matches will be in
South America, those teams are they going to have to fly to Morocco, Portugal, and Spain for their next round of
matches. God, they're probably going to have to go economy and, like, they're going to be in like the
nosebleeds on the plane and stuff.
God, poor guys.
Yeah.
But here's the maddest thing.
Here's the maddest thing.
Six teams will automatically qualify.
The host nation always automatically qualifies because they're hosting it.
They're paying for it.
So fair enough.
But there are three hosts.
So Morocco, Portugal, Spain all automatically go.
And then because Argentina, Paraguay and Uruguay are the centenary hosts,
they get automatic qualification as well.
Right.
Because, I mean, Morocco, Spain and Portugal would likely qualify anyway.
because they're all good teams.
And to be fair, Argentina, Paraguay, Uruguay also have a decent chance.
Yeah.
I mean, if you're starting to get to like that many teams, basically everyone's fucking
isn't it?
It's insane.
Anyway, that's interesting news, isn't it?
Ukraine have disguised in Ukraine news, a $20 billion sabotage mission was disguised as a porn film.
Nice.
So they, apparently, there's some weird, I don't know if this is a,
conspiracy theory or where did this come from, Sam?
Fresh Revelations are reignited debate over one of the biggest mysteries of the Ukraine war
who destroyed the Nord Stream pipelines in 2022.
Apparently, a small team of Ukrainian experts and civilian divers carried out the covert mission
and explosives were hidden inside modified diving equipment while the team apparently said
they were making a porn film to avoid suspicion.
Wow.
So this is in the telegraph.
This is not, you know, I'm not saying that it automatically makes it true, but this is definitely apparently a thing.
It's pretty crazy.
Yeah.
Well, they go.
It's like that film Argo, the movie with Watts's face in.
It's married to Watson name.
Is this the one that you've been working on the impression for?
What's his name?
No, that's not Adam Driver.
Adam Driver.
Adam Driver.
That's the Scottish Adam Driver there, Lewis.
Adam Driver.
I can't do it.
Where don't X go?
By the way, by the way, if you go, by the way, if you go.
an Andy Burnham impression yet.
No, so I don't think I've ever really
listened to him speak much.
No, me neither. So do a
Keir Starber impression of
how he feels right now, Pfefts.
He talks quite
haughtingly like that and he sounds
a bit like Zippy from
rainbow. Oh no, Andy.
Oh, don't take my job, Andy.
It's so good.
Oh, man.
Oh, fuck, sorry. That's British.
politics. Finally, a man has broken the Guinness World Record for the loudest ever shout.
Wow. I thought you were going to say shart. There is, there is a loudest ever short.
That would be a different one. Joseph McGrail Batap. He's an Australian man. Right. And he has
done a shout that has been measured at 122.2.4 decibels. Now that sounds very, very, very,
very fucking loud.
Apparently it is about the same
as a clap of thunder
P-Flax.
So what you were hearing
maybe over London
over weekend.
So I was woken up by an Australian man.
It wasn't...
That might have been
Joseph McGray on Beta.
Gidey!
Doing his...
Just yelling at.
You know, Nick in the office,
I always say good-a-to-Nick
and he always rebuffs me.
He doesn't like it.
He doesn't like being reminded
that he's Australian.
That is funny.
I always say, g-day-a-mate.
But not in an Aussie-e-a-a-a-a-
I say, oh, good day, Nick.
He's like, yeah, you're right.
He just doesn't, because he knows I've taken the piss.
He don't want to engage.
He just acknowledges you with a, I can see his exact long-suffering face, like,
like, kind of smiling at you politely and being like that.
I'm thinking, fucking, why are you doing that?
It's very cunty of you.
Yeah.
Fuck, so, so shit, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's
that's the, that's, that's the, fucking done it.
Nice.
What a great episode.
Yeah, wonderful.
Great stuff.
Thank you.
Good work as usual, everybody.
We'll try and get the podcasts out on the regular,
but there's no promises due to holidays, hot weather, other issues, children,
another event.
You know which podcast does come out every week almost without fail?
Domok and Jalada podcast.
That's right.
I'm cross-promoting, me and Ben's podcast.
Yeah, your Star Trek podcast.
How could you?
I had a YouTube channel.
It's good.
It's really fun.
All right.
We had Nilesie on and we had Sophie on again.
And we had Dr. Simon Clark.
I'm selling.
You guys, you want to be on the podcast, pick an episode.
Come on.
You can talk about it.
Well, you know, we're busy.
Yeah.
Why are you bigging up your other podcast?
I've big up this one.
I've been doing this one for 10 years.
I went to the fucking march.
I earned the right to talk about one other thing I do.
You got anything to big up, Sips.
What do you want to big up?
Yeah, I want to big up, Mr. Tumble, and I want to big up one in the bobbin up as well.
I think those are worth bigging.
up this weekend, maybe forever too.
I'm big in up Pride.
Right, yeah.
Fundraiser still live to all of our lovely gay,
lesbian, buy, and whatever you are, listener.
I love you.
Can you be bothered to shout you all out?
I can what an ally.
I love you all.
You know, all of that lot,
the alphabet people, whatever.
God bless you.
What they do in a privacy of their own?
You know, I don't care, but just don't do it around me.
That's all he say.
Just use the right bathroom.
Don't use my bathroom.
Use the right bathroom.
oh my well god this is this is not what i was going for it's your shout out yes your shout out and that's what
you sound like you you you got to own it oh geez happy pride of everybody and yeah happy
we love you all uh whatever you are we love thanks so much for listening and um we'll see you
uh next time on another thrilling episode of do you want to say it dramatically the tripor
the tripos podcast we've never done that we have never done that that's that's the best
This is what we should be doing, though.
This is what we should start doing.
