Triforce! - Pyrion Flax: NHS MVP | Triforce #355

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

Triforce! Episode 355! Flax has been busy with Speed Awareness courses, a live Angine de Poitrine concert and rescuing a woman by becoming hospital staff! Go to http://shopify.com/triforce to sign up for your $1-per-month trial. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Hello everyone and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. It should be called Triphor's Perian is recording three podcasts today. Yes. So this was the first one, so we're going to get good energy, Perian, and then he's going to get more tired and grouchy. It's going to start sloping off like every successive podcast that happens. By the end, he's just going to be like a dead duck.

He's going to have no energy. To be here, I have notes for each of the episodes of of TNG that we're talking about. So is it just, is it just this one and two of the, your, your rival Star Trek podcast? Yes.

Yes. Which is already approaching, um, a higher viewership, the listenership than this, this piece of crap. No, it's not. Not even close.

We've got three, three loyal listeners. Yes. You, just the quality of the comments, though, and the accolades and people say such nice things about it. They are very, very sweet. Yes, but it's in its infancy.

Once it's been running for 10 years, let's see what the people say. Then they will turn on us. Do you guys ever think about that, how long we've been doing this? No, I don't. Why would you? No, I take it in my stride. I feel like it's my cross to bear, you know? I just have to do it.

I don't even think about it. I'm just joking. This is like a nice little piece of group therapy for the three of us to talk. It's, first of all, it's rare that blokes will just talk to each other every week. about whatever's on their mind what they've been up to. I think that's very healthy. Yeah, I think that's very healthy. Unfortunately, we can monetize it as well.

Yeah, thank God. We also have weeks like I've just had. I've had the busiest few days for some time. Really? Yeah, I can tell you guys all about it. I will give you the highlights, and you tell me which bit you want to hear about first. Oh, man, this is exactly what we're talking about.

So, effectively, what we're doing is we're getting paid to have therapy. Exactly. With untrained hit monkeys. Yes. Yeah. Do you guys always feel good? every week after we're done the podcast? Yeah, yeah.

Well, there you go. Yeah, exactly. You can't put it. You can't put like a value on that. You can't. It's priceless just feeling good after you've had like a really deep, riveting conversation with two of your your best online friends. Exactly.

But we can. We get about 150 pounded episodes or something, don't we? That doesn't sound like it's worth even mentioning. It's not a lot in the ground in the scheme of things. it does better than sometimes depends who the sponsor is if we get a good sponsor true what was that EE that paid well get them back in

they paid jolly well anyway so here are the here are the topics the headlines and you tell me which you want to hear about all right I'm just going to give them to you in no particular order Yamato I don't know what that is Stranger stranger

Injean de Poitrine driver's speed awareness course Oh God hit me with the speed awareness course. This sounds like it could be good. A couple of months ago, I'm driving up to Birmingham for the Dota event. There's a bit of road near me that's 40 miles an hour and then it goes to 50 miles an hour. And I was just a little bit early on the driving at 50 bit. It wasn't busy. I wasn't like You didn't wait for the white circle with the black line through it sign. Have you told us about going on this speed of race course before? When was the last time you indulged, you immersed yourself

in the highway code young man well yesterday in the fucking lesson that we had um oh my god were you sitting at the back of the class with the leather jacket on smoking and just like scoffing every time

something was being said to you you turned to the guy on your left and you're like first time it was on online it's on this bozo it's on Microsoft Teams now for some reason oh that makes it more convenient

so is this to avoid getting three points on your license? Yeah. Okay. It's still, you still have to pay a lot of money. It's like 100 quid course, because that's the fine. So you either get three points and pay 75 quid, or you get no points and pay 100 quid and do the speed awareness course. Now, it is quite good. The first time I did it, I actually learned quite a lot. This time they had lots of slides and like PowerPoint stuff that you watched. It had the usual, like imagine if you get 10 strangers in a, in a, a Zoom call or a Teams meeting. People's connections drop out.

Some people are holding their phone way too close to their face or they're way too far away. Some people's phone keeps muting them and they have to leave and rejoin. All that kind of crap. Some people, like, the backgrounds, some people came in with like cool backgrounds and blurred backgrounds. A requirement of the courses you have to have your default no blur background on. So everybody saw my messy office. And I could see them looking and thinking, what the fuck is wrong?

That guy lives in a cave. Some people had the most beautiful living rooms behind them or like their office. This one guy had this amazing sort of flowing wooden background thing with this painted ceiling and everything. And he just sat there at his desk like a king. And then there's me with just a big sign that says no. And a bunch of comics. I'd look like a fucking infant. Man, you should have green screened yourself and put yourself like in the control room of a nuclear reactor or something like they would have been so cool.

Yeah. But so to make sure we're paying attention. Yeah, to make sure we're paying attention, you have to make notes. And then they ask you to hold up your notes so they can see that you're actually there. And they'll randomly call on you. So they'll be like, what do you think about that, Edward? And I was like, yeah, speeding bad, you know. But it was quite good.

They did a thing. So here's the test for you guys. I know. It's, you drive. Lewis, you can drive. Yes. I last drove eight years ago. So his speed awareness.

And I crashed the car. So, right. Well done. Tell me what the speed is on these roads. Right. So I want you to imagine there's two lanes going one way that you're in one of those two lanes. There's two lanes coming the other way. It's just painted lines and there's streetlights and it's 8 o'clock at night.

What's the speed limit on that road? 40. Lewis? 60. 30 miles an hour. Because. Because the street lights and the lack of any sign, the presence of the street lights means 30 miles an hour.

You're just on a road. You're not on a dual carriageway. The only thing that makes it a dual carriageway is if there's a physical barrier between the one side and the other. And that physical barrier can just be grass. It could be just a little mound of concrete. It doesn't have to be like a full-on fence, but there has to be some physical separation between one side or other and the other.

Then it becomes a dual carriageway. but the street lights changes it apparently yeah I made all kinds of notes and stuff it was pretty good I'm still doing 60 I don't care yeah well you're driving on the road the rules don't apply to me I'll be joining you I'm driving in the ditch next to the road where there are no rules

I think if in doubt you go 30 right I mean I've never I never I got caught on a not speed camera but running a red light once sort of seven in the morning so it's just a little bit too late and the roads were empty and I thought no one would notice but the camera got me. I didn't have to go on like any kind of course. I think they just gave me the points.

But I mean, I've never, I've never been caught by speed camera and there were lots around where I was growing up, right, living in Essex. And they would, they would, I think my mum gets caught quite often on them, or at least she used to. We don't have any speech cameras here. Sorry, I'll be honest. My mom's one of those people. I think she's a pretty good driver, but she always sort of, I see it through a call, she always had at least three or six points on her license sort of rolling over us, you know, at one point. She always, you know, always drove faster than she probably should have done. Right. It's funny.

We don't have speed cameras over here and I don't think we have a point system for our licenses either. Not that I'm aware of anyway. My wife got pulled over one time. In my whole family history of all of us driving, my wife has been pulled over one time for going 22 and a 20 and she had the baby in the car at the time and it was one of those like a speed trap or whatever you know

when the cops have like the laser gun that they point at the road or whatever 22 and they pulled her over and they said oh you were going like a little bit fast just be mindful try not to let it happen again and she was like you fucking pigs no she just said

she said oh she pulled out a glom and she tapped their ass that's the only time Only time we've ever been pulled over by the police. So, yeah. And I think my wife thinks of herself as the better driver in the pairing, you know. She's not overly convinced that I'm like a great driver, even though I think I'm a pretty good driver. But I've never been pulled over before.

So I can always sort of resort back to that. There must be, there's always some in the back of my mind, some idea that I'm, because I play a lot of and I use a controller and I'm driving stuff. Do you know, I play a lot of things where you interact with the thing that moves a thing? Yeah. I should be somehow a better driver from that. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not everyone else, all these nobs who don't play video games.

How can they even drive at all? I'm always aware that because I play so many video games, I will accidentally ignore the rules on the road because I'm used to just like, you know, in a game where there's some transport, you hop on a horse or you hop in a car. whatever. I mean, you're not, you're just going crazy, right? Like, I drive through buildings on the sidewalk, like, not in real life in the game. So I always, I'm always mindful, like when I'm in the car, like, oh, remember that you're not in a game and that you actually have to, you know, adhere to some rules and be careful and stuff. Otherwise. Yeah. Do you reckon that, I mean,

people have, there, lots of studies have shown that there's this big detachment between games and real life and people don't behave the way that they do in games in real life. And it doesn't crossover. But as it becomes more immersive and realistic and, you know, people start, you know, imagine if the games that we are playing are like fully VR immersive, is that going to bleed through into real life? Because people get really into relationships with the chat GPTs and stuff because they're realistic enough, right? Yeah. How often is this actually happening, though? I think you almost have to be susceptible to it. vulnerable to it in some way.

I think a lot of these people are very lonely or isolated. Are you currently engaged in a relationship with chat, GPT? I've got a couple. I've got a couple of plates spinning there. I've been talking to Claude. I've been talking to, no, I, all right, let's move on with the speed awareness course. Right, okay. You don't want to talk about it.

I get it. So I've written down the other ones, Yamato, which I believe is the name of, it's a Japanese word that I think they called a big battleship. They did, yeah. There was a, they had a fucking huge. Oh, wait. Is this to do with like the turret from the Yamato or something? No.

And people standing next to it and it's like. But the thing is a Yamato was named after a famous swordsman, right? Or something. I don't know. This was a drum. They were drummers. Didn't they call? Wasn't there a Yamato in in Starcraft as well?

Didn't they call one of the battle cruisers, a Yamato craft or something? You're probably right. Yeah. I think it's one of these sort of. of Enterprise-style names that they use for. Let's have a look. Yamato.

The Japanese battleship Yamato. Yamato drummers is what I saw. Named after Yamato province, which is a province in Japan. There you go. So it's like Japanese drumming. There's eight or nine of them, I think.

And they're all from this small village in Japan, apparently. And they drumming is like the thing there. You know the way Japan. got it a bit and they're like, we'd make drums here. That's what we've done for 800 years or whatever. So they're like these huge traditional Japanese drums. Some of them are enormous, like the size of a pool table. And the lad's hitting it with a log. And the sound of like boom, just travels through the whole room. So that was really, really a very, very incredible performance. Like very physical. I'm not normally into that kind of stuff. It normally sends me to sleep. They were really good.

And very personable. Very sweet. Like chatting to the crowd and stuff. The drumming? Drumming sends you to sleep. I think it's supposed to be the opposite, isn't it? No, it's just boring. It's just like, all right, I get it. You know, for two hours, how much can you do playing a drum? Right.

There's no, the whole point of the drum is it's like, if it's part of music, it's great. But like, for me, watching like a drum solo, it's like technically very impressive, but it's just. I think half an hour is a sweet spot, right? We went, my, my son did like a concert thing on the weekend. and he's he's with like a training band like through school or whatever plays the saxophone and saxomofo yeah and uh we went to this little they did this little show around like um because it was like liberation day over here like to celebrate when the island was liberated from uh from germany in world war two and um they did like a little half hour set they played like six songs

it was perfect like it was a perfect length any longer you'd be like, fuck, this is like too long. But like any shorter, you'd be like, well, God, it was not worth coming here. Right. I think half an hour is like the sweet spot. And then you're still like, you're not, at the end of it, you're like, God, that was great. And then everybody is like still like upbeat and not like super like, you know, downtrodden because you'd had to like slog through three hours of a training band or whatever.

You know what I mean? A hundred percent. Half an hour is like such a good amount of time for something. Well, the longest, I think it's quite a lot of longest John's gigs. and they did an album launch kind of gig the other day, which we went to. And they have, I've started to notice that their set list is quite carefully comprised of like kind of some more emotional song and then like a comedy song and then like a sort of a drummy song and then a soloy quieter one, then another funny one.

I mean, it's like kind of, it's a good mix. So you're always kind of exposed to something a little bit new and different. And it's not just sort of this doesn't all just blend into one. Yeah. vibe and I understand why that is more appealing than a very consistently toned performance. But maybe some people would prefer to really immerse themselves in that very sort of specific thing. And I imagine that's what the drumming is.

It's very, a lot of people, I guess, go to it for the, for like the, for that rhythm, that their vibration as well. I guess, yeah. It's a very bassy is what I'm asking. Does it like run, does it like go through you the drumming? It does, but they've obviously got different kinds of drums. So they've got the much bigger drums, obviously, that's pure bass, that just you feel it through your feet.

But then they've got, like, lighter drums with longer, thinner sticks that they hit them with. So that makes a much higher tone. So when they're all playing, you've got this almost symphonic effect with all these different drums playing at the same time and different rhythms. So it really is, it really was very impressive. They did like 40 minutes, then they had a 20-minute break because they were just sweating bullets, and then they'd come back for another 40 minutes. I was also impressed.

There was a lady there sat across the aisle from me. She had a service dog with her, and it was a diabetes alert dog. This dog didn't even flinch once. When the drums were on? So loud. And the dog was just chilling. Like, no, I'm just, I'm sorry. I'm a work.

Very well trained. What type of dog was it? It was a black Labrador. Oh, they are so well-trained. Very good. Very good. The best dog. What a good boy.

So sweet. So, so sweet. Maybe she practiced by like playing her the CD. at home. Do you know what I mean? Like the drum was like really loud. Sit down. Sit down, Fido. Listen. Sit. Look at me. Sit. Sit. We're going to play some drums now to get you used to the drumming.

If you like, he's wagging his tail. He loves it. He loves it. Look. Oh, he loves it. Sit. Sit. Sit. It. Bang bha-bam-b-d-b-b-d-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-d. Stop barking, Fy-O, stop it. Oh, fuck. Anyway, so that was good.

Yeah. I also saw Angine de Poitrine. An jean de Poitrine. Yeah. What is that? They are a French-Canadian duo. Oh. They recently had a set on K-E-X-P, the Seattle Radio Station.

Yes. Yeah. Very famous. Very famous. Apparently, the home of like, what is cool? Yes. Because Orgynene has been. Yeah, they're so, so good. So they did a set there that blew up online.

Like, everybody was like, holy shit, what is this? I always show you a picture. If anyone doesn't know them, they are two aliens, a guitarist and a drummer. So I googled it and it's had a special animation that came up where it put dots all over the screen. They've Googled it. So Google have obviously added a special thing for them. Yeah, no, they're very, very popular. Their whole vibe is this dot.

Yeah, so they're all about the polka dots. They look absolutely mental. They're like Darth punk. Oh, yeah, they're a bit like daft punk. Yeah, that's cool. They are, first of all, they're nothing like Darth punk in terms of how they sound. Right. Okay.

They are almost like prog-ish kind of rock. And there's no vocals, really. There are occasional vocals. But I'll explain. Like sampled stuff. No, no, no, no samples. It's just the drummer, who's the guy with the rounded head, he's called Keck, I think. Right.

And the other guy is called, huh. So they're bonkers. And they have this kind of voice-changing microphones. So when they speak, they go like, un-galk, bong-heep, like that. Like, it's like this weird vocoded voice. They don't speak much, hey. They basically, some songs, they'll say a word at the start of the song. And then they'll just start playing.

And the guitarist has a double-headed guitar, lead and bass. What, like a Jimmy Page style thing. Huge, yeah, yeah. And so he uses loop pedals. So he'll start off with just like a riff. And then he loops that. And then he does the bass line for it. And then he'll do another, like, lead on top of that.

That's cool. Insane. If you haven't seen them, look up Angines de Poitrine and K-E-X-P. And watch that performance. I went to that gig by myself. I couldn't get a ticket I loved no money I managed to get one

I paid over the odds for it I'm proud of I'm not proud to say that my mates weren't willing to commit that you know 100 plus quid for a ticket but I was like I'm never going to see these guys again

on a stage this small getting this close in that venue it was a Camden electric ballroom which is a good venue and so I paid I thought fuck it

this is a treat for my ears and my brain it was one of the best gigs I've ever been to they were incredible oh that's cool Incredibly. If you get the chance to see them go. God, that's such an advantage of living in London, though, isn't it? Like, like, stuff comes to London, right? Like, you, and you don't need to, if you're already there, you take out a lot of the faff and the, and the, you know, I mean, like, yeah, you paid over the odds for a ticket. But like, imagine you, you didn't live in London. You had to come in. You had to get accommodation. You have to get travel. You're out of your house for a couple of days, probably. Like, you know, it adds up. Big time. Where did you hear about these guys?

Because they're kind of very viral, I guess. They're quite... Yeah. Reading their Wikipedia articles, but weird. Dave Grohl says they absolutely blew his mind. They are completely bonkers. Yeah, no, they are completely bonkers. Like, they're so good at that, like, musically, so deep and incredible.

Do you think Dave Grohl describes all of his mistresses that way? Oh, my God. Yeah, I like Dave Grohl. lot, but I mean, it's, I just thought I should say it, you know. He's like the old-fashioned rock star who just fucks everybody. Yeah, apparently, apparently he always has been like that as well. Yeah. According to, uh, to sources.

Apparently he's always been a chaser of the ladies. I'm sure he has. Sure. Dave Grohl is a dirty dog. Yeah. But yeah, so these guys are amazing. Everybody kind of focuses on the, uh, the guitarist, I guess, because he's got the big guitar and I mean, he's the best, one of the best live guitarists I've ever seen. The guy's just

incredible. But the drummer is amazing. Like the, he, he just, they're next level. Anyway, look them up. If you, if you can watch, if you can watch the song Fabian K, the K, the KXP performance of Fabian K, if that doesn't move you, the music's not for you. But give it a listen. That would be your best opener for getting into this band, who I just think are fantastic. So yeah, me and my makes just, we talk about music a lot and we sort of share bands and Spotify playlists and live performances with each other a lot. And this came up and we were like, should we go see them? We were like, maybe. So this band is like the French, the name of the band is a French version of Angina pectoris. Didn't you have like, it's like chest infat strangling of the chest?

No, it's like angina. It's like when you have a tight feeling in your heart, it's a heart condition. Right, right, right. So the reason that they dress up like this. Apparently, in their lore, is that when they were playing in, I think they're from Montreal, when they were playing as a band together, there was the one place they really liked playing at. You were only allowed to, a band was only able to perform there once a week to give everyone a shot. So it was like, you know, you don't want just one band coming every night and dominating the schedule. So in order to sneak in and play more than one gig a week, they would dress up. And then they got this sort of look and they were like, do you know what we should stick with this?

And I mean, things, like, what I didn't know until I saw them live is the bits of them light up at certain parts of the song. Oh, right. Between songs, they talk to each other in that weird alien voice. Oh, right. Yeah, they're just, they're really funny. They got, I love the character. During COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns with Live Opportunities Limited, they took up construction jobs. I like that.

They're mad. They're absolutely mad, but they're in the best way. It is always funny, though, when we hear, like, foreign terms. like Yamato or Angine de Poitrine, and it sounds exotic, whereas it means, you know, I mean, could you imagine if we had like, I don't know, a, yeah, a band called chest infection or whatever. But in French, that's like, that sounds to them somehow exotic. I know. Or if we just had a band called Barkshire, you know what I mean?

Which is essentially, Yamato's just a county, essentially. Do you want to mean? I think that's a lot of the K-pop and the sort of J, all that, you know, Japanese. cultural export. Japanese words just sound cool to us. They do sound cool. They do. They've got a weird, like...

Yeah. But like my mate said, I think I mentioned it before, he said that if you stick the word American in front of something, for some reason it makes it sound cooler. Like American graffiti, American psycho, American Gothic. If you just called it Bristol, you know, Bristol detective, it kind of loses something, but American detective sounds cool. Because you just, it gives you, like, it's a good. It's a great sounding word, America.

America's funniest home videos. Right. If it was just called funniest home videos, you're like, yeah, no, it sounds way better that it, that it's Americas. Although I would watch, like, Ghana's funniest home videos. I'd fucking love to see that. I would love to see that. Polynesia's funniest home videos.

American possession. Guam's funniest home videos. Guam's, apart from American cheese, I guess. Yeah, no, but. There are obviously... Some words, some things where you put America in front sound terrible. America first. That doesn't sound great.

Yeah, American politics. American Nazism. You know what I mean? That doesn't sound. Sometimes you think, no, but other times you think, yes, that sounds awesome. Yeah. Oh, please don't talk politics, guys. It's not politics.

To decry Nazis. The last one on your list, what I've written there was, I just worked the word strange, I didn't have a chance to... Oh, yeah, God. So this was on Monday. I'm streaming. I'm playing Relic Arena. Shout out to Relic Arena.

Right. If you like Autobattlers. Relic. Realic Arena. Jesus. Made by some of my Dota buddies made this game. Oh, Sons Fan. Yeah, yeah.

Sons Fan and Jenkins and Buka made it. So it's really fun. It's just an auto-battler, but it's got some cool twists and stuff. You can play as Harambe, for example. Cool. It's one of the leaders. Well, I don't like that much. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm just joking. Give it a gun. I love that. I do like that. So I'm chilling. I'm playing that. And I see out of my window, a little way down the road, it looks like someone, like there's two or three people standing around a little heap of coats on the ground.

Like someone's put some jackets on the ground and they're standing around it. And my first thought was, oh, no, someone's really sick. And they've covered them with coats while they wait for the ambulance. And then I'm waiting a bit longer. And I think, oh, wait. It's a dog. Like someone's dog has been hit by a car because it's been 10 minutes. It would be an ambulance.

if it was a person. And then I think, wait, this, this is quiet. So I get my binoculars out, right? I get the old binos out. And I'm having a look. And it's actually, it's too big to be a dog. So I realize it probably is a person. And I think, where's the fucking ambulance?

What's happening? So I say to the stream, look, I've got to go see if I can help. So I turn off the stream. I get some clothes on. I go down there. And it's a lady who's fallen and she was running. And it was raining on Monday. So she's running in the wet.

She's slipped. And she's a, landed and she's really hurt herself to the point where she feels that she can't move. Right. So a couple of strangers there. There's some builders there. They covered her with their coats. They're trying to keep her warm.

But she's lying on this cold, wet, grassy sort of bit by the side of the road. And my immediate thought, I say to one of the other chaps there, I said I'm genuinely very worried she could go into shock. If she's in a lot of pain and she's cold, she'll start shivering. She could usually go into shock and then we've got a genuine problem. Where's the ambulance? And he said they told us it'll be an absolute. hour and a half for the ambulance. Wow.

Because they heard, lady has fallen and is in pain, but they're like, that's not life-threatening. Right. So we're not going to come with an emergency. We need that for,

you know, someone's hard to stop to whatever. So that sucks that there wasn't an ambulance for this lady. And I was really angry about that. So I said, look, I'm going to go get my car. I'll come around and I'll drive her to the hospital.

I think that was the... I mean, first of all, in future, you just ring up again and they'll bump you up. up the list and there'll be one prioritized. You know, you have to just call again. Yeah.

They've got you on the system. This is why, I mean, this is why we should all be allowed to have guns because you could have just shot her and then they would have come out immediately. I'd say, no, you're right. We'll just shut it in the air. We'll just set fire to her a little bit. Lady, I know you're in pain. I'm going to shoot you so that the ambulance will arrive sooner.

Okay. Just brace yourself. Bang. I didn't even think of that. I'm going to shoot you on... That's why I'm here. To think of these things. Three, two.

And then, yeah, oh my God. So, sorry, so you got your car. I picked her up. No, she was in so much pain. She could not bring herself to move. Okay. So there was another chap there, and he, I don't know what skills he had, but he certainly, he was like, all right, don't move.

I'm just going to feel the back of your neck. And you tell me if any of it feels weird or painful, because he was worried. She'd hurt her neck. And if she'd fractured her neck or something, we can't move her. We can't turn her. And we were worried about some kind of spinal injury or whatever. Yeah.

So she was complaining about her shoulder. Her right shoulder was what was hurting her. So we rolled her onto her left side as gently as we could. She was like howling in pain. And she's like, I can see at this point she's like, because she's not face down and covered in coat. She's a lady. She's maybe a little older than us.

But she's, you know, not an old lady, but she's certainly in her 50s. So I'm like, all right, we need to get you up. and get you into the car, and then I will drive you to hospital. And she was like, thank you so much. So managed to get her up. She can barely walk. She's walking like the slowest pace you can imagine. Everybody's trying to help her. We get her into the car. And I say to one of the other sort of eyewitnesses, if you like, or the people in the scene, I say to this lady, could you come with me? Because I'm really worried she might pass out in the back of the car from the pain or be sick

or something go into shock. And if I'm driving, I can't like do anything about that. She was like, yeah, yeah, I'll come. And the lady who was hurt was like, no, no, don't. I'll be okay. So I was like, all right. So I'm just driving her at like 15 miles an hour from basically near my house all the way to the hospital. Every little bump I go over, she goes, ah! So I'm like, I'm like, crying. So I'm like driving like a lunatic to avoid every bump in the road, everything. And people are like looking at me like I'm crazy.

I haven't got a siren. I can't let anybody know. So I'm just driving as slowly and as like gently as I can. Get to the hospital. and I pull into just the drop-off area and there happens to be a nurse there I explain the situation and she goes, okay, I'm not an ER nurse

or an A&E nurse so you'll just have to take her in there. I'm in a different department. I was like, okay. I said, look, I'm just going to leave my car here. If they put tickets on it and stuff, will I be able to appeal? Because I don't want to have my car towed. I just want to let you know,

I'm dropping this lady off, she's badly hurt and she was like, just fucking go, you know, nothing will happen. Don't be afraid. I was like, all right, cool. So I run it, I say to the lady, lady, stay here, I'm going to go get a wheelchair. I go inside, I explain the situation to the desk. And they say, right, yeah, grab a wheelchair and bring her in. They don't send someone.

They just give me a wheelchair. Yeah. It's like, okay. So I go outside and with the help of a security guard, she helped me. We get the lady into the wheelchair. I bring her back in and they're asking me all these questions about her. I'm like, look, like I said, I don't know this lady. I only know her first name. We just found her by the side of the road hurt. Can we please get some help? They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, follow me. So I'm like, okay. And the guy's like, go on, push the wheelchair. So I was like, okay.

So now I'm the hospital portal pushing this lady through the hospital. I know. I bring her into the resource area, which is like the emergency assessment area. I have to, I help her onto the bed and make her comfortable. And then they come and say, all right, we're going to give you an x-ray. So then she's like, I can't like lie back. I can't get up. They were like, all right, hop her back in the wheelchair.

I was like, fucking, who works here? Like, what are I doing this? But I was like, fuck it. I'll help. So once she went off to X-ray, I said to her, like, we'd been trying to phone people the whole time we'd spoken to, like, her boss. I'd spoke, like, she kept calling people and just handing me the phone, and I have to explain the situation to the new person.

So I spoke to her sister. I spoke to her boss. I spoke to her husband. And all of them were like, okay, okay, well, thank you so much. We'll get on it. So yesterday I texted her, you know, are you okay? Like, let me know what happened, what was fractured. She broke her shoulder in three places.

Jesus Christ. And dislocated it. So her shoulder was, I mean, the fact that she was able to stand up and get in the car at all was insane. Because she must have been in so much pain. But she's going to have to have a big operation of it like that. But yeah, so that was Monday afternoon. See, this is why I think Keir Starmor has to go. I mean, what a mess.

Like, that should not happen on Keir's watch. I think it's time for him to step down. Where were you, Kear? I couldn't get there. There were no ambulances. It's vitally important. I'm trying to get his voice. Just imagine the dullest man imaginable.

Well, it wasn't a life-threatening injury. It was not as bad as all that. He speaks for this weird, very clearly enunciated words. Yeah. I am fired. He's going to probably have to say it. I have been fired. Honestly, I kind of feel bad for this dude

Because he's just boring He's just boring He is I want my apologies to be boring I feel any of the positive stuff he's done And there has been some good stuff that he's done There's so quick now To say that people need to resign or whatever

I mean it's just it's mad Isn't it? But it's like he's resigning over What? I can't even remember what it was That he's meant to be resigning over It was the bad local elections Local election results

So the local elections results sucked us. Like, they were terrible. But all the people that are voting for reform, I feel some people are genuinely angry and ill-informed. Some people are just racists and want to vote for them because they're racist. But these guys are not the answer. No. They're insane. Have you seen how many of them have been elected and everyone's like, uh, this guy literally thinks the earth is flat?

Yeah. Or, you know, this guy believes that the lizard people run the world. It's the same same shit, isn't it? You're just putting cranks in charge. just increasingly more and more cranks are being allowed to run things because Starma was boring. Fuck off. Yeah, I know. It's just insane.

It's crazy. It's been nice to actually have like some news that isn't about Trump for once though. Yeah, I know. That has been a refreshing aspect of it, even though it is creeping in again a little bit now. But inevitably it will, I suppose. But yeah, the local election stuff's been like, I wouldn't say interesting, but at least, you know. Did you, so, sorry, did you see the hantavirus stuff? Like, so there was this cruise ship wasn't there.

And everyone was freaking out about it thinking it might be the new COVID or whatever because they were, they didn't really have any kind of awareness of reality. But it was sort of these cruise ships, the funny thing I heard about it was that one of the guys who potentially had it was dropped off. Tristan Dekuna, which is this incredibly remote fucking island in the south Atlantic. Yeah, drop them up, put them on. We should have more islands like that for these cruise ships when they're

fucking covered in pantomavirus and normal ones. Yeah, put them in the leper colony. How is that so bad? They can just get the ship there. He's sounding like L.EG there for a sec. How is that so bad? How is that so bad? No, yeah. That's why they had them. Yeah. So yeah, Trista, Tristan Kud, which I've read about before, because I know it doesn't have like an airstrip or anything.

It's like one of these places that's super inaccessible. They only get like a kind of boat coming by every couple of months, you know. And so it's like a six-day boat journey from Cape Town kind of thing. It's just it's just in the middle of fucking nowhere, which I've always thought it will be like a kind of really interesting place to go. And I guess you can if you want to take a. a cruise, like on this boat. But it was kind of like this plague ship where no one wanted to take it, you know, no one wanted to like, let the people disbar. There's another big one that I think France are holding up. It has like 1,700 people on it and they have a huge norovirus outbreak,

but somebody's died from it as well on the ship. Norovirus always goes around with these things. But on this one, I remember there were some brits on it and they were like, oh yeah, we're home now and we're self-isolating. And I'm like, oh, good for you after you fucking, like, took three flights or whatever to get home. Like, oh, you're self-isolating now? Great. Do you mean, people are like so, oh, fucking people are awful. There was another boat thing I read recently.

Norovirus happened. Yesterday there's a UK boat somewhere with norovirus. They're just floating. Yeah, that's the one. I think it's in France right now. They have to stop it. My mate of mine works in PR for cruise companies. Yeah.

And every time this happens, like there's any kind of cruise contamination, zombie cruise ship or whatever, he's like working overtime trying to just do the PR work to calm people down. Yeah. Get the word out there. I've never been on a cruise before. But like, you know, anytime something like this happens, I'm reminded why I've never been on a cruise before. Yeah. There's shit. There's shit.

There's shit. I hate fucking. When I went in, it was one of the worst experiences. I just fucking hated it. It's totally soulless. It's what I imagine the actual space stations of the future will be like. Everyone has these cool ideas for what it's going to be like. It'll be shit.

It'll be just a mall in space. And because there's literally infinity around you, you can't get a drink at the, on one of the moons of Jupiter. You're going to have to pay a thousand Zublots to get it at the fucking Jupiter's Hotel. The man only pays me 15 Zublots an hour. How am I supposed to afford 200 zooblots for a genitonic

It is Jupiter brand gin, sir I don't give a goddamn There's too many zoobloats He's like Jerry cyphill and that was a million That's too many zubloat Before we continue This podcast is sponsored by Shopify When we started off the TriForce podcast

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It's like a little, and it's like a squirrel-proof one. Lovely. You'll stop the squirrels getting the nuts out of it. Really? Get your nuts out. It's almost like a little trap. So if the squirrel tries to jump on it, it's sort of, it's on a spring, right? bad guy for shooting one squirrel. Yes.

Well, exactly. You're starving them to death and trapping them and dangling your nuts to tempt them. Anyway, I've seen a few little finches on it. But as soon as I like hung it out, I saw an article, I don't know whether my phone just listens to me where it was like the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds. Bird flu. Says you shouldn't be using a little, exactly the kind of bird feeder I use it because it's anything where they congregate.

Yeah, they congregate together an avian flu. get spread between them. That's the theory. And apparently it's around today. Do you guys... Do you guys remember that movie that the South Park guys were in called Basketball? It was like the...

Terrible. I liked it at the time. And basketball combined into one. Do you remember that scene where it's like he's lost the girl and like everything is going wrong? You know, he's like he's a victim of his success or whatever and he's in his car driving and he turns on the radio and the radio is playing a song, but it's very specific to everything that's like happened to him right down to like,

there's a rash on his balls and stuff like that. It's a bit like that with phones now, isn't it? Like, you don't think they're listening to you, but they're listening to you. And then they can kind of like tailor make these like, you know, like songs or like, but there's some media that you'll be like, oh my God,

I was just talking about this the other day. How does it know? Yeah. It's because they're spying on you. at. Always. I mean, I think all of these apps, like WhatsApp asks you for permission to use your microphone, right? Yeah. And you say yes, because otherwise you can't use WhatsApp. And all these apps do. And of course, they're fucking listening because they're desperate to tailor their adverts to you. But apparently, meta is fuck. They're losing tons of money. Yeah, I was, yeah, I was reading. Apparently they're in like a bit of a maybe possibly a death spiral.

So we'll see. I saw that article as well. I say, bring it the fuck on. But it's still the most popular platform in the world. Two billion monthly users or something crazy. What they're going to think is all of the, the reason that these, the way these guys keep going is they buy the next big thing. Yeah. And this is,

this is unfortunately the model. Like Facebook's dying by Instagram. Instagram's dying, buy WhatsApp. WhatsApp's dying, whatever. Buy the next thing, right? It's just a constant chain of bidding on the, because that's, that just is there, that's just how it is.

any rush oh my god um so i i saw this article and it was obviously really really sad but i also thought like it was funny this isn't lose news um there was this yacht that sank off the australian coast a couple of weeks ago right and i read the the news about it and it was really sad and it was like um basically this yacht sank and then the this sort of a marine rescue New South Wales crew rushed out to the scene, but they capsized as well. How? And a couple of them died, really sad. What was the weather, like, really terrible?

I think it was just, you know, I think it's just very treacherous around the Australian, New Zealand coastlines. And a lot of people have historically been, certainly around that area. It's just, it's very treacherous. I think it can very easily quickly go from, like, smooth to rough. And anyway, I just read that the volunteers on this boat, the Marine Rescue New South Wales crew, guess the ages of the guys on this boat. Would you expect to go out on this rescue boat, right?

Let me think. They're probably all in their 50s because young people aren't getting into this stuff, I would guess. I agree. Okay. So in fact. But they're very experienced as well, though, right? Very experienced. and obviously volunteers.

Yeah. But it just makes, it feels like the local group of volunteers. Like obviously these guys are incredibly like, it's really sad. Okay, I'm not making a joke of it. But the guy, the age of the crew was 55, 61, 62, 75, and 78. Right. God. Now that's like, that's a group of old fellas.

Yeah. right, there's a couple of old fellas there. It's like Dad's Army, do you mean going off to rescue people? Which I respect. But I just thought like, oh my God. Like it just goes to show really that this, it feels to me like there's a lot of that stuff in the UK generally. Like a lot of support structures for people are staffed by retirees

and, you know, passionate individuals. Yeah. You know, I think there's a few reasons. First of all, I think maybe they did it at a time when that was a thing that, you know, people regularly did this kind of thing. But now there isn't the money and the funding and all the rest of it. So now it's down to just volunteers. It's going to be people who already have their house and maybe have a part-time job or work

from home or whatever. Or they're retired, like you said, are the only ones who've actually got the ability to dedicate the time to this. That's certainly one factor. Now, I don't, I'm not saying this would have turned out any different if they were all 25 years old, right? Or, you know, like firefighter age, kind of. I think, I think just largely operating a boat is, you know, you're probably doing it from inside a cabin. And if it capsizes, then there's not much you can fucking do. It's not like you need to be strong and physically. You know,

maybe you do, you do need to be able to yank people from, I'm sure. It's not like a motorboat, right? It's not like they're fucking hoisting the sails. But I think, like, the funny thing is, because I went to a local thing here, which is like a local railway, sort of, you know, heritage rail. type vibe where they fix up these old trains and stuff. And their chief engineer or whatever, the guy who's in charge of maintaining these steam chains, he's like 25. Really? I was like, right.

I was like, duh. And so it shows that like they're passionate. There are passionate young people. I was like, duh. Do you know what? Because it was so surprising because I thought they'd all be like 60 year old men chuffing away on pipes, you know. But no, there are people coming through taking on the mantle of, of, of main.

maintaining these things. You don't have to be that age. I think, you know, they're delighted to have younger people doing this stuff, right, volunteer for this stuff. Just maybe it's, maybe it's kind of like a club, though, you know, you don't necessarily think if you see there's a, you know, the rescue club has got all these old folks in it. You're not necessarily going to think it's for you, right? Anyway, I just thought that was interesting. That's not lose news, but there is some lose news. All right. Good.

Hit me with the news. Is the news that 11 of the guys who were elected to reform councils have already stood down? Really? Oh, God. Could you imagine? Some got suspended. Some quit.

And one was on holiday because he didn't expect to win. What about the guy that said that Nigerians should be melted down to fix potholes with? Oh, no. I'm sure he's going to be fine. Did that guy step? Oh, no. I don't know.

Promote that man. Immediately. Nigel move over. We found our new man, our new head guy. Is the news about the fact that Iran is demanding that pride flags be banned from World Cup stadiums? None of this stuff. Wait, wait. The funniest detail of that is the one match, one World Cup match, because FIFA's pretending to be cool,

one match, it's in Seattle, is being like the pride match where the whole thing's going to be decked out as a kind of pride celebration. That match happens to be Iran versus Egypt. neither of those countries is particularly pleased about having to play at the Bride Big so I fucking love that for them Oh that's good beautiful

So police for the rest of a man who's threatened to blow up the Nintendo headquarters in Kyoto That's that's all That's the entire article pretty much He just wanted to blow up the Nintendo headquarters A 27 year old man

said, I'm going to blow you all up. And my plans cannot be through it all? No, he just got arrested. For threatening. I'm fed up with Mario and I'm fed up with Zelda as well. It's time for them to go. They got to go.

Sick of him. Maybe he didn't like the new movie, which, to be honest, hasn't been doing all that well. Which maybe he was angry about the, the secondhand market for Nintendo goods is still so high. Maybe that was what infuriated him. Oh, maybe. Oh, I saw this, P-Flex as well.

You know how, um, You've been talking a lot about these MPs. Which ones? Here's a, all these. No, these guys aren't MPs. Bear that in mind. They're local councillors. They're not MPs.

Who did you vote for Lewis in these local elections? I didn't get to. I wasn't eligible. You were only a very limited areas. Vote for me, Lord Kuntletlford, Keenshamford. I hate everything. Who's one in your local area? Me?

I don't know. Lewis? Oh, Louis? I don't know. The entire borough of Richmond has gone Lib Dem. Previously, a lot of it was Tory. I was previously one of the very few, when I was in Central Bristol, I was one of the three green MP areas, at least for the MP.

I don't know about the local council, I don't really understand. But I certainly wasn't allowed to vote in this one, so it's probably whoever it was before. Anyway, you can, as a game called politidex. Dot app, politydex. Am I joining to this website? Which is basically Pokemon, but, you can, you know, you can collect MPs. Oh, we talked about the celebrity stock market thing that the BBC used to do a while back.

I wonder if there is like an MP version of that. This sounds like maybe it's close to that. You can, they've made little pixel art versions of all the, all the members of parliament. Nigra Farage is a rare. He's a rare purple. Level 41. You can go outside, apparently. So on the go, you can find them out in the wall.

So like, it's like Pokemon Go, but for politicians. Is Pokemon Go still a thing? Do people still play it? You have to go to Clacton to collect Nigel Farage. Do you actually have to go to that area? You've got to get through five million pounds worth of personal security to find him, though. You've got to be a crypto billionaire to give him five million pounds. It's what you do.

Can you just pay him a five quid on fiver and he'll like, you know, talk about. Oh, big chungus when he fucking did those stupid camios. Just I want to do a big shout out to Hugh Janus. Happy birthday, fellow. This one's for you, Herman Guring. Thanks for the five, right. He will say anything for money and people think he's a serious man.

Come on. He's doing cameo. It's embarrassing. Apparently he makes loads off of it as well. Yeah, he's made like six figures. Our next prime minister has been you could have had a cameo with him saying, shout out to Big Chungus.

Yeah, that's a serious man. Fuck off. So the Pentagon, has declassified another large cache of UFO documents to keep the idiots. UAPs. Please call them UAPS. entertained. UAPs.

So, yeah, it's like, it's just a bunch of stuff doing spinning lights and weird lights in the sky and stuff. It's always lights in the sky. So that's the problem. It's all anal lights in the sky. Nothing. Any abductions and anal probing? No little green men.

No, no of that stuff particularly, no. The problem is. with the whole Any alien autopsy It made an impossible term It's gibberish It's not real Because it's almost always

Instrumentation errors Light glaring off something Something is fucking broken And then they're like The pilots threw it with his own eyes You see all kinds of weird shit It's always only in America as well Yeah it's like the number of places

Where this is spotted It's so predictable And I just think You know How come you haven't had a clear shot Where a bunch of people on the ground who were just standing around, see these things zipping about

and get some images of it. It's always some pilot, seeing some shit up in the sky where the sun is refracting off, God knows what, you're looking through all these IR cameras and it's all a load of shit. If this stuff is real, where is it?

It's just like this stuff is real, where is it? Their coke on the, on the machine. America's UFO crisis. Have these aliens got a hantavirus? We're going to check in. Neil, you're on this. the scene. Thanks, Bob. I'm here in the air. Looking at a

UFO as we speak and I'm going to ask you, do you have hantavirus? Who back? Me more? I think that's a yes. Back to you now. How does this affect the markets? That's the first question they ask. Anything happens.

School shooting. How is this going to affect the Dow? Fuck off. Who? Like, I know. Who are they aiming at? So. Rich people. In the final piece of news, Pizza Hut are now selling. This is an advert, by the way.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's like a four-tier snack pizza for $9.99, but it's, it's advertised so badly that it's actually $9.99 per person. It's advertised for four people. So they say for $9.99. And everybody thought, oh, shit, that's a lot of food for $9.99. But it turns out it was $9.99 per person. So it's like $40. That's how they get you.

Right. It's actually 9.99 million is what it costs. We need, just for balance, you know, Pizza Hut is disgusting. But yes, this is not. No, it's not pizza. It's a guilty pleasure. Yeah, it's nice. So, Pizza Hut lunch buffet was insane.

Have you ever, here's the news. Have you ever looked at a slice of pizza and thought, hey, what if I could drink that Not every once in my whole life. And you know what? Even after having this conversation, I will never think it for the rest of my life either. Have no curiosity to know what it would be like to drink pizza. Thank you. Well, exactly.

Well, but you could find out because Pizza Hut Japan have announced a limited time drinkable cheese curry pizza. I think they should use this as an opportunity to trap people that then need to be disappeared forever. You know, people that want to do this, we got them. We found them off. We got them. This is how we trap.

You know that trap the thing where it's like they catch birds where it's just a rotating platform on the ground? And it's absolutely just going to just disappears into a hole. My next one comes along straight into the hole. Just have that, but it's a pizza hut. You enter the front door and go, I have one of those drinkable pizzas. And the floor just opens up, drops you into a pit. We collect you all. And we just bin you off.

So we managed to eliminate. All pizza drinkers from society, finally. Good job. Good job. Good job. Fine work. You could buy a personal size drinkable pizza for 990 yen. It comes with fries to help you soak up the goo, but no straw.

Jesus. Why don't they make a straw out of French fry, though? And then you can just eat the straw when you're done. I see. Like a potatoy straw. Like a pringle straw. Don't give them. Don't give them more ideas.

No, you can't. Pringles don't contain any potato in them whatsoever. That's true. So you can't actually say a Pringle straw by law. They're not allowed to call themselves a potato chip. Wait, why are we sending power troopers into Tristan Ducania? Oh, did you see the footage of that one jumping out of the plane? Yeah, that's a wild picture. They didn't have medical strip.

And it's so they can't, they can't land. And it's really treacherous. It is treacherous. You can even see on the footage when the guy is making it. his dissent how treacherous it is. There's no way to really get there. There's no, like, nice beaches on there. So, wait, why go there then?

It sounds like shit. It looks like, it looks like Scotland. You know, it's just like, it's rough, like all around the coasts. Not meant for human habitation, please. You know, like Scotland. I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say that. 250 people living there, if that, it's fucking remote as hell.

So that's where they stopped to drop off these sick people? No, no. No, a guy lit, the cruise visits there because it's super remote as like a destination. And it just happens that one of the people who chose to be on the cruise got on there and then got off there. I see. So he got on there, did the whole cruise, got off at Tristan Ducon. With hanta virus. I gotcha.

Okay. And so they had to paratroop in. When you talked about it earlier, I misunderstood. They had to paratroop in like three. So now the army's got it as well is what you're saying. Well, no, these are trained medical professionals. They're trained not to catch hands of worse. They've got hazmat suits on and everything.

If anyone's isolating, then Tristan Dukuna is the place to do it. I mean, it's literally the fucking one of the most remote places in the world. Yeah. Apart from that point Nemo or whatever, where it's closer, the space station is closer to it because it's fucking so remote or whatever. The PlayStation. Anyway, the space station. Oh, the space station.

Yeah. Wait. I think if you're on this, this point, Nemo, you're further away from anyone than even the ISS is, right? Is that what you're saying? I think that's what he was trying to say. There's a place on Earth called Point Nemo that's so remote that sometimes the closest people to you are on the international space station.

Yeah, that's awesome. I'm going to look it up. I want to go there. Isn't they decommissioning the ISS? Well, you know, it's like, not while they're on it, I hope. Yeah, no, they're just, we got our orders. Sorry, guys, got to break it down. Just a bunch of builders turn up

So what are you not still doing here? We're decommissioning this What? Yeah, sorry, no, it's all got to go today Today, we've only got the tools for it today Fuck Because I'm hoes in the van We can use that to

Keep it go every other day or two John, they're saying they stay and they want to stay No, John says you can't stay You've got to go We've got the job order here I'm sorry, we're shutting it down They just start knocking the walls through Bang, bang

Please don't do that That's the airlock Oh, he's got to go Point Nemo How many How many Zargons Are he being paid for this job Hey?

You get played in Zargons You can't get paid To Zagons, mate, never get paid in Zagons Zublots is where it's at Oh, shit It's so easy to come up With a stupid space name for something

Just put a Z or an X at the start and then put Ublons or Oblats or something and you've done it. Job done. Right. Thank you so much for listening to our damn podcast as usual. Thank you.

Enjoy your other two podcasts. Enjoy your other two podcasts. I think Dr. Simon Clark is going to be on one of them because he wants to do this miserable. I am predicting that he likes the episode that we're going to do, which is Elementary Dear Data, a dog shit holiday episode about Sherlock Holmes. I bet he's going to say,

I really like it and I'm going to have to get angry with the guest. Right. Well, you unload on him with fire all salvos. A full spread of photon torpedoes in your face, Dr. Simon Clark. Yes. I think this is, I mean, this is, you've got a, oh well, look, I'm going to let you do it. It's your podcast. Take care.

You can be on it. Pick an episode. Pick an episode of TNG. Oh, I will be. I will be. Yeah, right. I will be. Yeah, right.

I'll see you guys next. Okay, bye-bye. Bye-bye.