Triforce! - SFX geniuses master the Foley Quiz | Triforce Mailbag #70

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

Triforce Mailbag Special 70! Sips hits on some linguistic research (without realising, of course), Pyrion pulls some rare cards with WikiGacha and we play a Foley Artist quiz! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Hello chum. Oh, okay, yeah. The mail bag. Just interrupt. Yeah, that's fine. Well, you know what? If you like that song, here are two actual songs.

Oh. These are good. These are really good. But like not AI generated as well. No, no, no, I never listen to those. These ones are good, all right? I'm telling you, these are excellent. You ready for the first one?

I'm ready for the first one, yeah. God, it's been a while since we've done a mail bag. It's been a while. It has been a while. We've been very busy. Yeah. Okay, I'm ready. Right.

Three, two, one, play. Beak. Beak. Supreme Voodoo fashion on the 45. Yeah. Beet this, beat, this, be, that one and a half seconds. Oh, yeah. God, it's brilliant.

Yeah. Beet. This, be, this, be. Beep. This is, be. Oh, yeah. I like this. Yeah.

So far. Beet, this mail, be, this mail. Bag. This is a. BELBi BELBIC. Yeah. Here once again, this Melby, this mail be, this mail bike, bag, this is a musical special. TriForce podcast, we're here once again.

Go fuck yourselves and have a nice day. That's a good one. That's good. It was all intro though. There was like, it was there was like a huge lead up in the 45 second allotment. There was this massive lead up to to then like, what, five second. of, you know, not lead up. Thanks for sending that in.

That Sips was not impressed. No, I was impressed. I just wanted to point that out. We normally talk over these, and it sounded like we were already built in to talk about. I know. That was the thing. I didn't say a word during that one. That was all past me.

I thought you guys were talking throughout, though. That's what it sounded like to me. It's confusing. Exactly. It was built in. All right. Here's another one. This one is a bit of a meme, but it's a hot meme.

And I like it. It's funny. A hot meme that Blacks like. It's a good meme. All right. Ready? Okay. Three, two, one, play. The TriForce bag on bag.

Okay. Nothing beats a Triforce Mailbag. I'm not the tribe's going to read it. I'm afraid of shit. I'm afraid for shit. You can get 100% of informed opinions that you let me. listen to the Triforce Mailbag today. Wow.

I'm afraid of the ship. The top of my own bar. Oh, man. I have a tiny penis. I see what you mean about a hot, a hot meme. That was wonderful. I love it.

That was so good. I needed that. I needed that today. That was right at the top of that gentleman's vocal range. It was. Yes. Oh my God. Yeah.

That sounded like, it sounded like he was about to blow it as, his hoop out. Yeah, for sure. Blow out his hoop. It's really straining. Yeah. One more octave and he would have been, he would have done.

Yeah, well, exactly. Love, love it. Brilliant stuff, P-Flex. Thank you. I'm in the mood for mail. You are? Yeah. I'm in the mood for mail too.

Okay. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm primed. Hit me with some male, baby. Should I not be? No, I'm just, you know, don't get too excited. No, I think that's the, I think that's the ideal state to be in at this point. Yeah, that's the whole point of these sogs. You want to be all mailed up to the gills.

You want to be ready. All right. All right. Okay. This is, uh, bearing in mind that it's been, I think, at least a month since we did a mailbag episode. So I make my way through the emails. It takes a lot of time. And sometimes this is the bag of bulging. Well, yeah, there's a lot. So first of all, I want to say a lot of the emails were saying that we should definitely do a live show. So thank you for those. You don't need to keep sending them. We're going to look into it. I'm going to talk to some people, going to figure out how much it would cost,

how much we would have to charge for it to be a thing, what we would do, how long, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So please don't email about the live show anymore. I appreciate it. Unlike other long-running podcasts who announce their live show or their podcast, we speculate about the idea. I think it builds up more hype leading to nothing, which is fun. It's going to happen. It's so funny. I'm the same, you know, I've, so many things I've

half finished, you know. Oh, man, me too. I'm half made, wrote a book, half wrote a board game. Yeah. Half, half finished of Shadow's Fail, God, you know, you name it. It's, I'm the king of not, not delivering all my promises. Oh, God. But it's all right. Don't you worry. This is, this is, this is from a lad who works in a fancy hotel. He just did half a shit and, uh, his, His mummy had to wipe the other half out of his bum bum when he was, he couldn't. The other half did not come out. He was stuck in there. Where is this?

Let's carry on. I work at a five-star place where rooms start at £1,000 a night, and the top suites hit $25,000 a night. $25,000 a night. Yeah. We've had heads of state, royalty, CEOs of the world's biggest company, footballers, movie stars of a lot. The usual vices, drugs and escorts, are, commonplace, but sometimes it gets properly unhinged. For example, we once took a Saudi

Prince who'd been removed from another hotel for offering to pay a cleaner to fart in his face. He didn't try that with us, but he did attempt to hire our hotel manager as an escort. She declined. Another week, we had a group of American rappers and only fans stars in one of the top suites. They partied for seven days straight, fights in corridors, 8 a.m. in the in-sweet raves, footballers and pop stars drifting in and out. They smoked so much weed that the breakfast restaurant had to be relocated because the smell had traveled through the entire building.

Wow. Highlight of that stay, one of their 6'10 security guards came to reception asking us to write a note for a romantic gift. The gift was a single crumpet covered in whipped cream.

The note read, Can Daddy Butter Your Crumpet? We wrote it in our best calligraphy. For context, 25 grand a night books out a thousand pound an hour or 17 pound a minute. So how much would you pay

for a luxury experience? Listen, that's pretty crazy. 10 pound per person per night is what you're willing to spend. Absolutely. I think that's what it's worth to me. Yeah, that's, I think that's that's hitting my level of luxury, I think.

You know? I don't think luxury would be a factor. Crumpet with whipped cream's got a cost about what? Like one pound and five pence or something? Like a total, that's nothing. It's, I can do it. How much would you actually pay to stay in a hotel? What's your up about?

Well, listen, I think what you're talking, though, about this. This is not a hotel experience. This is something else, right? First of all, these suites can sleep loads of people, loads of people. And you're kind of renting a venue for a party on the fly, right, without having to organise it, without having to pay for all that crap. And you're spending so much money that they're just put up with your bullshit. Those places can't be fully booked all the time, right? You must just be able to kind of last minute. I don't know. At that price, like not that many people. There's a lot of rich. idiots out there.

When we went to San Francisco, we met the guys who ran Humble Bundle back in the day. And they were lovely, lovely guys, by the way, the guys who set it up. And one of them lived in a hotel. And it was just cheaper for him to have like a deal with a hotel room near to the office because he was like working crazy hours. Right. And they just, that's a thing that you can do. You can just have this, you know, you can rent a hotel room like it's a bedroom, like a house.

flat or whatever, and they'll handle a lot of their shit for you. And I think obviously there's a service if people are willing to pay that much. If you're willing to pay $25,000 a night, of course you're going to get like a venue. Yeah. It's not a hotel room at that point. It's, and if you're just sleeping in it, you know, overnight, you're doing it wrong. You know, these guys, all the rappers and the footballers and people drifting out and doing all that, they're using it as intended.

You know, that's, that's why it's so much. It's not like, you know, I wouldn't usually pay more than a couple hundred quid a night anywhere. No. But that's because I'm not, you know, not fucking sleeping with the hotel manager in there. You know, I'm not paying for like crumpets with whipped cream and calligraphy. Just to be clear, he wasn't paying. I'm not even using the mini bar. It was his crumpet.

He brought the security guard. The crumpet with whipped cream was the gift that he had created. He just wanted a note to go with it. I just want that for clarity's sake. So was this? Just to say, there is... Was this in London, do you think? I don't know.

There was a travel... Because with the crumpet thing, it makes me think that... It's the UK. Yeah, it's the UK. But I think they were... I think they were rappers that had come here. They had come here. And then they were going crazy in London, I think was the deal.

Anyway, the travel engine Swickenham is £50 a night. So that's per week. Maybe that's where they were staying. That's $350.50 quid a week. I think it was a different venue. Right? Which is about... I think that, what is that?

What is that? What is that? three, six, nine, twelve. That's 1,400 pound a month. That is cheaper than you could rent a room that close to the station. Probably, yeah. And then at least you'd have somebody to like clean. Yeah, it's a lot of stuff is built in, right?

Yeah. We've talked about this before, haven't we, where people like retirees have just sort of sold up and then they've moved on a cruise ship and then they've, they've, and stuff like this because it sucks and it's not, it doesn't feel good. But do you think if people live full time on a cruise ship, they should still be allowed to like vote and stuff? Like if they're not even in the, if they're not even really like in the country anymore, like what's their status? They're like a pirate. Yeah, they're like a pirate. Yeah, you're right.

I think the, uh, the problem is the ship counts as the, as territory of which other country it left from, I would guess. Right. Oh, shit. So they were registered to like the Maldives or something or, um. I don't know. Someone that knows emailing for the love of God, because I don't want emails saying we win wrong. Just email in if you know. Just one of you. Figure it out amongst yourselves and one of you email in. Anyway, let's move. on. Molly. Molly traveled to the UK for the first time and had some notes and queries about, so first of all, Molly went to Liverpool. So we, none of us are from Liverpool. We can certainly comment on some of this stuff. What's up with Liverpool English? So it's a very specific accent, Liverpool, and they have a lot of slang. It's like a very unique part of the UK.

They want everyone to calm down and they just want to enjoy their tinnies. Don't judge them. Yeah. Why are there no public bins on any train platforms in the whole country? Is question number one. So, I believe... I think it's the bomb threat. I think it's a security thing, yeah. It was an idea that this goes back to the IRA, that they would put bombs in bins. That was the idea.

Yeah. And it was an easy place to hide bombs. But I don't know if... I think it's probably pretty archaic. I know that one thing they came up with was to not have a bin, but just have a plastic bag hanging from like a frame. The trains themselves have little bins like... I know, it's silly.

It's very silly. A lot of that's gone too, though, now. I think, okay, I think the real answer is this is an aesthetic thing. It's a look thing. No way. And also I think the idea is that, yeah, I think so. But also, I think it tends to be, they tend to fill up quite quickly. And then they're overflowing and they're very unsightly.

Right. So it's just rubbish everywhere, isn't it? Well, but there's not often rubbish everywhere. Rubbish attracts rubbish. I think they're very quick on cleaning up any rubbish they see. So more rubbish isn't like just thrown on the floor. And there's not a very small proportion of people actually throw rubbish on the floor. I saw this thing on Reddit the other day where the UK is trialling this technology which can detect litter being dropped like out of cars and stuff like that.

And then it scans your license plate and then you get a fine. And then when people, if people try to like, you know, say, I didn't do that or that this is bullshit or whatever, it's all on, they've got it on CCTV because it's all being captured and they can see stuff leaving. the car and going on the ground and stuff. It's pretty clever, but it also makes you think, how the hell do people just litter like that? It seems insane to me that people just chuck stuff out of a car onto the ground. Like, you would just put it in a bin or take it home and throw it out in your bin or whatever. Like, I can't.

I don't think I've ever just chucked something on the ground like that. I know. It's like you've got to be a very specific kind of bastard, I think, I went on a litter pick around on the road outside my house. Part of this community service. Really? I've got one of those long-range granite. Live in the highlight.

And I went and I picked up a load of Red Bull cans and Thatcher's cans. Nice. Did you tuck a lot? Did you, was there a lot of tutting? It was a lot. Yeah. I picked up this big, like, it was like a whole Sainsbury's bag full of, I think what was in there was takeaway.

So someone had obviously got on a takeaway, put it in a Sainsbury's bag. decided they didn't want it and throwing it out the car window. Jesus Christ. I know. And I tried to put it in a public bin, but it was too big to fit the bin, so I had to take it home and put it in my bin. Well, well done, Lewis. You know what?

Actually, well done. So someone emailed in, I've just found on the TFL website, Transport for London website, Bins on the London Underground. This is a Freedom of Information request made on the 30th of May 2025, saying, please tell me how many bins there are across all London Underground. Underground, Overground and Elizabeth Lyon Station. And the answer is that the total number of stations which have bins is 82. Jesus.

Do 78 stations have bins on platforms, four stations which are underground with narrow platforms, do not. So a lot of stations with bins. So there are plenty of bins out there. I guess you just got unlucky. Yeah. Is this a thing you can do, just submit a frivolous freedom of information request? It's freedom of information. Well, but no, but look, if it's just creating busy work for people.

Not, though, is it? If you just said, I want to know exactly how many black cats there are going in and out of each station every day. I don't think they can answer that. That's not within their purview. It's like public services. It's like it's services that they provide and that they have information on that you can request information on. So things like how many. They've got someone working their job is to answer.

You can ask like how many people do you have employed to empty the bins, for example? That kind of stuff. They would tell you. How many shits do they? How many shits are taken every day on a train? Right, that can't be measured. That can't be measured. Yeah.

They nobody has the metric for that. No. How many gallons of shit? Molly's email. I'm 181 centimeters tall. And in Norway, where I am from, I'm considered fairly short or average in height. I was easily one of the tallest people at the concert. Oh, yeah, they came over for a concert.

Honestly, in the entire UK, it felt like. It was really strange. How tall is 121 centimeters and feet? Centimetres. 181. 181. 181 centimeters. It is 71.

Let's put that in feet. Hang on. I think it's about 511. 7 foot 6. That is, that's 5'9. What are you talking about, Molly? 5'9 is pretty tall. Well, 182.

I think you must have gone to a concert for children if you think 5 foot 9 makes you one of the tallest people in the UK. Jibberish. Why does there no heating in any of the buildings? Honestly, though, like, I feel like English people are, English people are of an average height. 182. 182 centimeters is 5 foot, 11.5. No, it didn't.

Six foot. Oh, I must have misclicked. Either way. Whatever. Why is there no heating into the buildings? I don't know. Why is their mobile data terrible? That is true.

Yeah. No heating in the buildings is just, it just adds to the misery of the UK. You're coming from Norway, which is, you know, you've had a, you've had a, you're very lucky. It's very nice. You've probably had a well-nourished childhood. you're not you're not fed sausage rolls from greggs and you know and um matheson's refrigerator and jaffer cakes you know for you know you're obsessed the fridge raiders i don't think

they even make fridge raiders there's a lot of shit in the uk is it was built in the 80s and they were just kind of like yeah this is good enough and they haven't touched it since there's lots of stuff like the shit we ate growing up you know that's what that's why we're so shit and the yeah the heating the lack of heating that's what we should be able to shiver away in our shorts You call put a fucking jumper on. Don't they have jumpers in Norway. Drink your Vimbaugh's and put a jumper on. Yeah.

All right, this is an interesting one from Michael. I'm just moving on because we've read two emails, lads. And it's 25 minutes. I've read two. I've got 400 emails. I've got things to say. You don't. You're just saying things.

Please. Fine. Please just listen. I'll just listen from now. I mean, it's just, I get so many emails from people saying, why didn't you read my email? You don't need to get through. But the reason is we get through like two ever. I know.

But here's the other problem. What if they're really interesting though? We never find out. I don't want to argue with you about this. Please. Please. Every other week you're like there's no mail in the mail. No, you're like, too much.

You have to get fucking through it. I have said there's no email. I have said every single time. Let me read out of email. And today you're like rushing through it. I'm not rushing. I'm just trying to read it. I've got one line out, one line from Molly's email.

It's like they take the time to write in. You didn't read it probably. I couldn't. Because you kept interrupting every single sentence. Let's just calm down. This is from Michael. If I could at least read the first sentence before you interrupt. Just a sentence from Michael's email.

Can we get some closure on Molly's email though? No, it's done. It's done. I'm sorry, we're moving on. Right. Listeners, please understand. Okay, I'm not genuinely angry. I am just, it is frustrating to be trying to read the same sentence 10 times and not even

make it through that sentence. Please bless us. But we liked wiffle waffling about, we like taking our time. Too much whiffle waffled. Noted. This is from Michael. Hello. I re-listen to the trifles all the time.

And I have heard you multiple times laugh at the whole pizza gate. conspiracy theory. Right. Okay. But after all this Jeffrey Epstein files have come out with coded pizza language and even mention pizza places, has it changed your mind on the conspiracy? Now, I thought this was interesting because I have seen a lot of online chatter people talking about how this whole Epstein thing and that all of the people involved

of this vast conspiracy has actually made them think what other conspiracies were actually people were onto something. Your thoughts, gentlemen, please. Explain the whole pizza thing to me. I know of it, but like, I'm not like, you know, I haven't, I haven't, like, you know, studied it to that extent. I think basically what it was is that the Republicans thought that there were a load of Democrat pedophiles running it out of a, working out of a pizza. Yeah, it was in Washington. Right.

However, it turns out it's probably, in fact, the Republicans themselves, who are the Peter. Right. That makes sense? I think the, so the whole point of pizza gate was... It's the people who pushed a conspiracy theory, they're the actual paedophiles. Right. That much I understand. So there's a lot of people involved in it, right?

And the point is that the conspiracy was it's Democrats, you know, being pedos and eating children, and they ask for a pizza, and what they mean is a child to eat, right? And it's all run out of this pizza place in Washington. Now, there is some overlap between that conspiracy theory. and the fact that in the Epstein files, for whatever reason, there does seem to be a lot of language where pizza is used as code for something. We assume Peter Filio. Do you think that formerly Prince Andrew's Pizza Express explanation fit in? Would that count as pizza coded language?

I honestly don't know. Do you think he was trying to send a message out to like his co-conspirators at the time to say? But that's the thing is we, it's, that would have felt like a bizarre conspiracy theory. But now when you look at these files, you think, wait, was it? And I feel like the conspiracy angle, as usual, if there was some kernel of truth that someone told someone, hey, these guys use pizza as like a coded language, it then gets all whispered, whispered, whispered. And suddenly it comes out Hillary Clinton each children instead of pizza, right? Right. So it's like it always gets funneled into a specific worldview, even if at its root this conspiracy, this conspiracy theory might have some kernel of truth to it.

But eventually it becomes, oh, it's just the Democrats doing it. So it's almost like the politicization of a conspiracy kind of turns it into a load of bollocks. Either way, I thought it was at least interesting that it did make people maybe go back and reevaluate some of the things that people have been saying for a long time. I also think most of those conspiracy load of bollocks, but what are you going to do? People love conspiracies. I'm, you know, we can't help. We've talked about it so much on this podcast in terms of how we love conspiracies, yeah. We can't help it.

We love alternative history and like these ideas that something isn't as, that we're being told it is. It's this, it's this, and we know better. I don't know. It's, yeah, it's part of our genes, I think, that we are, we want to, we love this stuff. It feels like drama. It feels like Washington. It feels like gossip.

It feels like cool gossip about powerful people. It does. If I've ever really been into like conspiracy theories. I don't think I, there's not, none that I've like, ever. really followed. A lot of them like I've heard of, but I don't really know much about them and stuff. I don't know. It's like, I think gossip is in our genes as well. I think it must be from some sort of social, you know, some sort of time when we were tribal and we had to exist in this small scale social structure. And, you know, it was, it was important to know what other people were doing in order to

survive. And I don't know, it's, it's weird, isn't it? How everyone is always into it. You know, no one is not keen to hear a bit of goss. Me no secret about grug. Even if it's bad. Grug, grug use secondhand rock, not use new rock. Oh, your grug must be hard up for rock. Yes, grug very rock poor. That's where it all comes from, though.

It's those like, it's that gossip that just kind of turns into these bigger things, right? Like, we've all done it. I'm sure where you make an assumption. about somebody and then you just go down this huge rabbit hole about how they must be doing this, they must be doing that. And then you get to a point sometimes where you find out that that is just absolutely not the truth whatsoever. You've gone to all this effort to come up with this huge scenario that you think you've

cracked and it's not. It's not that. All right. What's up next? Right. Lewis, this is for you. This is from Wyatt. Lewis mentioned he doesn't know where to start with the dense shrubbery on his new property.

I am here to recommend a goat. Get a goat. Years ago, I went camping in a nearby holiday park during the off-season. There was a pair of goats tied by long chains to Hutches, similar to dog kennels. The owner came down on a quad bike, checked on them, asked if, and I asked why he had them, and he said that they just basically eat the grass and the shrubbery, keep it all, keep it all sort of level and keep it all back. Your thoughts?

You need to have a... I'm not living in like... I've not got like a hundred acre of rand. I mean, I've not got fields to have goats hanging out in, and I don't want to have to look after. I don't have people to look after. You don't. You just lease them. I don't think the goat takes up that much room, and it just keeps...

Like, you said that you guys had a tennis court that you didn't even know you had, so it is overgrown. A goat would just eat the, all the shrubberries and all the guts, keep it all nice and tidy for you. He might even repaint the lines for you, if you're lucky. Yeah. Maybe he'll eat the asbestos that's infected. Yeah, you might do that. He might do that. Yeah.

You could just borrow it. somebody's goat for like a week. Sure. Do you know, I'll look into it. Thank you. Good suggestion. Make sure you have a good fence, so. Because they will get out.

And if they get into the town, they will wreak havoc as well. No one will ever be able to catch them again. I've never played that. I've never played that. I don't know if you're the target audience for that one. No. Really? Yeah.

Was it for kids? Yeah. Was it in a jingle jam? I don't think so. It was just like a silly, uh, imagine Grand Theft Auto, but Instead, it's goats. It's like just an open world like sandbox. But the goats all have like physics, so they ragged all around a lot and stuff.

I find their eyes very disturbing. But I remember one time we were going on a walk in the countryside, and Mrs. F was wearing a nice summary dress. And the goat tried to eat it because it looked like it had flowers on it. Yes. It's quite funny. I've just been listening to episode number 350 and was interested by your talk about asbestos. This is from Jay.

So this is, again, relevant to your house, Lulu. I works in Asbestos Fiber Analyst, taking the samples that the surveyors take from houses and properties. I see around 30 to 60 a day, ranging from textured coatings slash Artec ceilings to cement roof tiles. While you were mostly right about there being good asbestos and bad osbestos, I thought I'd clarify a few things. There are six regulated types of asbestos, though only three were really used in the UK. They are white, brown, and blue asbestos. White asbestos is the fluffy kind that Lewis mentioned, so that was one you were talking about. This is the least dangerous.

It has a curly structure which prevents it stabbing into and getting stuck in the lungs, which causes conditions such as as asbestosososis, I'm pronounced that correctly, I'm sure, and lung cancer. Though it can still cause them, it generally occurs less. Brown and blue seem to be the bad ones. So have you actually found any asbestos, Lily, and what is your plan for dealing with? I don't think I found any, no, and I don't think there is any. I think I found a, I was in the loft.

I told you, I found a survey that was done on the house. when it was bought by the previous owners in 2001. And it did mention that it had in the garage, the roof of the garage was asbestos, but the picture of the garage is not the same garage that there's there now. So it looks like they've removed that. And I imagine they would have remedied any issues with asbestos

if they had it. Are you tempted to do up that garage and maybe have it as an office? Well, I have I've looking at it right now and it's like I think the double glazing's a bit blown out because it's all condens. There's loads of condensation between the panes

and I think also I was in there yesterday it's really hot. It's like a greenhouse. Wait, were you in a greenhouse? Well, no, I was in the garage but it's got these big windows on it. Maybe you could naturally just become a sauna. A sauna?

I think it's, I've already got a tiny one house that doesn't work. So I've already got enough worries, really, without converting it to a garage. But one day, Sips, maybe, there are, everyone's, it's trending. It's cool, isn't it? And, you know, I can escape from my goats and obligations. Yeah. Disappearing to the garden.

It could be as loud as you want in the evening as well. If you want to just get out there and, you know, do some high, high octane gaming that requires you to shout a lot, you know? Maybe you want to do some rain leading. How do you deal with the fact that the, yours isn't insulated at all? What's it like in winter? It is insulated. Yeah.

It's like, it's got insulation. Do you have a little heater in there? Yeah, I got a heater. What about in summer when it's like fucking boiling? I got an air conditioner in here. I'd say, it's like, it's like a double. The, it heats in the winter and air conditions in the summer. Okay.

It's wonderful. It's like just a small commercial unit. Yeah. It's just, it's got like a pipe that goes out to one of those boxes, you know, with the big fans in it. I feel like Sips's dad garage is so less glamorous than you've ever made. it sounds as well. It's like, it's like so small. Wait, has he made it sound glamorous? I've never made it sound glamorous. It's like, I genuinely don't think that it could have fit a single car in there. No, it's really quite tight. No, it was never, it was never fit for purpose in that

sense. As an office space though, it's quite generous. It's like a, it's like just a big finished room that's not actually in my house. Would you say it's about the size of a hotel room? You say it's about the size of a house? No way. Yeah, no way. Yeah, it's for sure. Yeah. What about the size of one of those Japanese coffin hotel rooms, the ones that are just a tube? It's bigger than that. It's probably like, I'd say it's probably the size of like a holiday in hotel room. Like it's, it's big enough. I don't know.

And there's no, there's no furniture in here except for like desks and chairs. So it's, it looks even bigger. I mean, there's a lot of junk in here right now. Well, it does look smaller because of all the junk, I suppose. Yes. But yeah, I think it is still like a garage and as a result, all of your boxes of old shit get dumped in there. Yeah. Do you ever like clear out?

Do you ever go to the dump? Yeah, all the damn time. Yeah. He's always talking about. We accumulate far quicker than we get rid of stuff. So it's like you go to the dump and then you come home and you're like, yeah, we still have so much stuff. And there's just always new stuff coming in all the time it feels like. You need like a one in one out policy.

We do. Yeah. I've been saying this for years, but it's impossible with three kids. There's just a lot of stuff coming. I mean, if you'd done that, you would have had to get rid of your wife a few years ago when you had one of the extra kids, you know. Yeah, that's it. You keep the numbers the same. One in, one out.

And then we got pets and stuff too. God. All these pets. A whole clan. It's insane. Bunkies. All right. In Mailbag 63, Sips mentioned that someone called Willow doesn't sound the type to have a gaping vagina.

Instead, sounding dainty and petite. They then said it would be like someone with a nine-foot python being called Pils. As a linguist, this piqued my interest. This really sounds like something he would say. This piqued my interest as he is subconsciously drawing on sound symbolism. While sounds themselves have no inherent meaning, there is strong and well-documented evidence to particular speech sounds are associated with certain concepts. For example, so the patterns is clearly shown in words like teeny, tiny, weeny, itsy, bitsy,

and wee, versus words like large, vast, and grand. So teeny and teeny weeny, you sort of close. your mouth up. Yes. When you're saying those words and when you say large, your mouth is bigger. Yeah.

Therefore, the name Willow, with its high vowel, may suggest smallness or delicateness and the lack of a gaping vagina. Yeah. The absence of harsh,

harsh, voiceless stops, such as per or ker. It's true. Like, okay, I'll give you some names and you tell me

whether or not they have a gaping vagina. Right, right. Go for it. Okay. Gertrude. Oh, fucking massive. Yeah.

Cavernous. Hildegar. Yeah, that's a real big one. That's like that's the one that lad got stuck down and they sent down a bunch of people to try and free him. He never got out. That's how gay thing that one is. Yeah, so Chileans are still stuck down there. There's 20 minors are currently stuck.

There's 20 young Thai boys down there. The guys with pickaxes. And Elon Musk is sending a submarine to rescue them. Okay. Ermintrude. Yeah, I'd say yes. Yeah, that's a big one. Maud.

Maud. That's the same. That's what you shout into it to get an echo. Maud, Maud, Maud, Maud, M. Okay, no, I see where you're coming from. I understand that. That makes sense. You apply traits.

I think it's the same with pets, you know, as well. Your pets have to be called things that fit their vibe, or else it's a bit, it's kind of funny, though, to have the wrong name. I love just, like, ordinary names for pets, you know, like Colin and. and Alan and Steve. Yeah, I love that. Barry. One of my daughter's friends at school, they have this massive Alsatian, and he's just called Dave.

Dave the Alsatian. It's just funny because it works great. People who don't know. We're going to go home and see Dave. Exactly. It's like they're talking about their uncle or something. Oh, it's my talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love that. Yeah, that works great. Yeah. All right. Thank you for that little bit of linguists. Yeah, that was interesting. Thanks so much, yeah. We'll bear it in mind in future.

So people who are called, you know, Lily and Pippi can have just a gaping a vagina as the others, and you wouldn't know. My name is Pippi, and I've got a really big vagina. I guess you wouldn't really introduce yourself that way, right? Probably not. But I mean, I did have a few people come up in Birmingham and tell me about the tiny people. It happens. All right, this is the perfect vehicle for Lilley. Lewis, you were talking about getting a car. You didn't already get the car, did you?

No. All right. So, greetings from a fellow Baldian and a car nut heard Lewis is in the market for a car since getting the house. Everything he needs can be found in a robust, used Japanese hatchback. The Honda CRV is a great car and my mom drove one for years. But as Lewis has not driven for years, the size may prove a problem with city driving. So I think the Honda CVV is a good shout. Lewis needs one of those like old-fashioned convertible cars. You know, they don't, they're not even convertibles. They just don't have like a roof, you know, like they're open.

And they have like the Ouga horns on them, like those ones. You mean like a Stutz Bearcat, like Mr. Burns's car, basically. Yeah, basically, yeah. Yeah, you got to get one of those, Lewis. They used one. Is it electric? I don't think so. I'll tell you.

So the, no, the old cars are not. This is the top picks from, from Louis. This is Honda Jazz, a Mazda 2 or Mazter 3, the Toyota Yaris or the Nissan Leaf, which is an electric car, which are good shouts. Avoid French cars because they're shit. German cars can be temperamental and expensive to maintain. If you want a midlife crisis, get the Mazda MX5. You may not be able to transport anything more than a thimble, though, so not practical.

So Nissan Leaf is probably the sort of car. Mr. MX5, I think that was a, I mean, that was a car that I've been 20 years old, isn't it? Yeah, but they keep doing new models, don't they? Oh, I see. What are the Nissan Leaf? No, the Nissan. So you can get a brand new Mazda MX5, 2024, for 28 grand, which is a little steep. Let's look at a Nissan leaf.

It says here for 35 grand. But you can get them secondhand. This one's got 63,000 miles on it. You can get it for 6K. That's not too shabby. But honestly, mate, Honda, CIV. I'm telling you, a great car. Loved it.

Well, no, I want an electric one because I've got an electric car charging port. Yeah, you'll find one. Electric cars are a little deer. The previous owners had an electric charging port. Yeah, I mean, the electrician did tell me it was unsafe. But other than that, I felt like they were using it for 10 years, none of them died of electricians that I know of. Well, I've had an email from someone.

This is from Double Denim Danny, okay, who is emailing in as an electrician. Right. So, and I also had an email from someone offering to be an electrician for your house, but they're a fan, so I figured you wouldn't want that. I'm sure you're about to be underdainted with electricians, I don't know, giving advice on what Lewis was talking about, but I feel the need to give my two pence. Main's voltage is 230 volts. I don't know what we said on a previous episode. Oh, did I say 240?

You might have done. It's 230. How dare you, Lewis? You were 10 volts out. Isn't it too easily? Easily done. It says 230. RCDs, which is what Lewis's hot tub is missing.

You're missing the RCDs, apparently. It's like a fuse, but instead of tripping out when there are too many amps, RCDs trip when there is a leak in the current. So for example, if you get electricated by a cable sticking out of the ground, an RCD will detect the leak and trip saving your life. So if it's leaking out as in, I guess if the electricity is coming out into a person, that counts as a leak, whereas if it's going into a light bulb, it doesn't, because it's all, it's just completing a circuit, I guess.

So get some RCDs there, Lewis. Yeah, okay. Yeah, the electricity did say I'd need a new fuse board. to have the electric vehicle charger going through RCD protection. Well, there you go, baby. Which apparently is, it would fail your EICR. Oh, that's what he said. It's a lot of work getting a new fuseboard.

It's a joy. I've been loving it. I've been enjoying it. 600 quid, he said, for a new fuse box. That's good. That's really good. That's just the box, though. You've got to get them in to do all the work.

I think that's pretty good. Well, I might get one of those mini-split things like. you've got sips plugged in so the temperature isn't freezing cold or boiling hot, alternately. Where in the garage? I might need to get the insulation fixed. Do you have central heating, Lulu? In my house, yes.

The garage is just freestanding on its own. Well, I don't think you need to heat the garage. I've told you, I've got an oil boiler, heating oil. Oh, God. Yeah. You might want to swap over to electric at some point. Yeah, something in the 20th century, you might want to swap. A bit of an endeavor, though.

No, I'd like to. but I didn't realize just quite how many caveats there are to having this heat pump upgrade, you know, because there's no point getting a better heating system if your house is really leaky and shit insulation. And so there's lots to do. Lots of men. Lots to tell me how to do. Lots to do.

Lots to do. I need men telling. I'm looking at like 50 ants right now in my lounge. They're still under this skirting board They're going along under the skirting boards In the lounge somewhere And I squashed like 10 of them this morning Oh no, they don't squash them

That won't work Yeah You gotta get them at the source Follow the trail of ants Well I did I went outside It's like a sugar that they carry into the nest And it kills the eggs

And then you're done That you get rid of the ants Well okay I'm gonna have to order some of that Because I need some little traps You get like those little house traps They're like the little white things that kids can't get into. I didn't want to be late for the...

This is the kind of thing that happens, though, right? I see a big ant infestation, and I'm like, oh, shit, I've got to record the podcast. And the whole time I've recorded this podcast, I'm just thinking about ants and what I'm going to do about them for fucking... You're telling me that the two hours a week where we record the podcast,

is such a big time sync for you that you can't deal with your ant infestation. No, but it's like, I think if anyone else, normal people will be like, sorry, guys, I can't do the podcast. I've got to deal with these ants. I'm just like, oh... It can work.

I don't know. These ants can wait an hour. Yeah, they can wait. If they're in your house, that you probably need to get some traps, though, because that means that they're... Traps. You don't need traps. You don't need traps.

Tiny, tiny mouse traps. It's just powder. Just get the powder. See the trail that they come in from outside the house. Put the little powder down. They're just under the skirting board. I went outside the house.

There's no ants out there. They're only in here. The little traps are good, though, because there's got like a sticky, liquid version of the powder that Flax is talking about. And they go in there because they want it, they love it, and then they get stuck in there and die. So you don't have to clean up little ants everywhere.

So that's the problem is you don't want them to get stuck. You want them to go back. So you want to put a poison down that they think is good and they take it back home. And it feels horrible. I know. It's your house. You can't have ants in your house. Otherwise, why do you just open all the doors and windows?

You're going to get ants in your pants if you're not careful. You don't want ants in your pants. Nobody wants that. You've got to stop it. Well, I'm starting to think maybe I'd left like some sort of chocolate bar in the bottom of one of these boxes. It's very specific. You just left one solitary chocolate bar in a box somewhere and that's caused the infestation.

They're here for something. They're not just here for fun. Yeah, they want to get in your pants. They want to make your house really silly. They want to get into your pants. You just want to get into your pants and you're going to be silly out. They're in the Epstein files. So they are.

They're probably just because they just wandered in there. But here's the thing. There are two and a half million ants for every human on Earth, Lewis. So you dealing with this nest is not, yes. In my house? Per person in your house. There's only two humans. That means there's five million ants in my house.

Well, there's 20 quadrillion ants on earth. They reckon it's probably more than that. They're doing fine. So I can squash a few. Have you ever noticed nowadays, though? Like in the 90s, I used to have loads of ants like on my windshield on my car, but now I don't have any pretty much. I mean, that is a big problem is that what they call it like the bumper test,

or whatever, what do you call the thing? The grill test, I don't know what it is. Yeah, the reduction by a diversity. You drive anywhere, it's very rare that you get bug splats everywhere. And in the 80s, when I was a kid. Does that mean it's finally safe for me to open my sunroof and stick my head out the top and smile the whole time I'm driving and I won't need to worry about loads of bugs getting in my teeth? Great.

I mean, they do that test every 10 years or whatever. I can't think of a single downside to that. They get a huge sheet of material. This is in Germany, I think they do it. They light it up at night and they see what weight of, insects they catch and they weigh it and the decline is unbelievable. The death of flying insect

is precipitous. It's bad. It's really bad. A lot of it is there's light all the time they get confused. There's all kinds of pesticides. This is the kind of shit though. In the back of your mind,

you're like, thank fuck. You're like, I know the world's going to shit and global warming and all this shit, but I quite like a hot or summer. I quite like like like fucking bugs in my garden. Do you know what I mean? It's a really dumb fucking take, but in the back of everyone's mind,

they kind of like, actually, yeah, do you know what? Fucking good. Get rid of those flying fuckers. Yeah, we need less of them.

I think you're right. By the way, Mr. and Mrs. Pidgey just paid a quick visit to the podcast from the windowsill, but I fed them not.

They remember last year when I fed them. They've actually learned that they can land and look in but I haven't fed them yet. I've been strong. I've been strong. I haven't done it.

Did you just, Did you just give them a stern middle finger and not vocally, but like, mouthed to them, fuck off? Yeah, fuck off. I just showed them the gun. Showed them the gun I killed the squirrel with. It's dripping in blood still. God, I will say, though, honestly, on the biodiversity thing, I drove back from Milton Keynes yesterday, Milton Keynes. And it's the amount of fucking dead animals that I saw on the road.

It's terrible. I think I saw like three or four. Badgers. Not even joking. Like five or six squirrels, about three or four bunnies. I saw like a dead partridge or a pheasant. I think a lot of partridge, a pheasant, whatever. You know, so tons of tons of fessons.

I saw like seven lords are leaping laid by the side of the road. Really bad. There was a dead drummer drumming. It was incredible. Five gold rings just on the ground. So something's going on and there's, you know, some of it's bouncing back. I mean, there is a lot of good news out there, but there's a lot of bad news. Like, it's bad.

It's really, I try not to think about it. Honestly, it's funny because I went around, I went to, I tell you where I went, I went to, it's White Horse Hill. It's a little place near Oxford. Why didn't you get a Black Horse Hill? That's pretty racist, of you. Well, I think it's an Iron Age. Oh, yeah, look at that.

Uffington or White Horse is a prehistoric hill figure, 110 meters long, formed from deep trenches filled with crushed, white chalk. Wow, that's very pretty. So basically, the area is in Oxford, it's near to Tolkien, and Christopher Tolkien actually said that his father had been inspired by it as weathertop. Right. It's this big hill kind of in the middle of nowhere. But I think also it was used as a fortification by Iron Age people as a meeting point, as a gathering point. And they chalked this. It's very chalky land there. And I think if you just, you can see it sometimes in the pathways, like where people have walked, they've exposed the chalk underneath.

And I think they made this symbol on the side of the hill. There's a bunch of other ones around like crosses and things on hills around the UK where people used prehistoric people used them as a sort of gathering point. Anyway, I think during over the last 2000 years, it's been used as various different things. But I think there was this tradition, certainly in the middle ages of their scouring of the horse where people would go and clean it up and make it look nice and rechalk it. so it looked cool on the landscape. But they also have a festival up there

where everyone from all the local villages would meet up, like a kind of Beltyne type vibe. And I think it's just one of those nice little areas to walk around. It's not very big. There's tons of them. You just drive, you don't realize they're all in the background. There's always like a nice country house or some sort of estate or some Iron Age thing.

I went to like a henge as well. It wasn't really a henge. It was like Stanton. Drew. Danehenge. there's just basically old prehistoric rocks lying around in it in a farmer's field with cows in it you know it's being used as a farmer's field and cows are shitting on them but that's kind of you know I think it's just it's just this is the kind of thing that you get living in the UK

and you don't realize how much of it there is so yeah don't go to Bista Village go and go up some old Iron Age monument and look at that instead much better much better so this is we had an email about this this is interesting this is I I thought we could do this. This is Wikigachia. So if you click on this, it'll open a web page. Okay? It should translate automatic to do English.

It's converted Wikipedia into like a pack of cards that you open. Right. And on each of the cards is a random Wikipedia article. So I thought we could open a pack each and read what we got. And there are like rare cards. Multiple online threats blocked. It's fine. It won't load for me.

Okay, so I'll do it. So if you... The defender says this site is very dangerous. It is not dangerous. It's fine. All right. So here's a pack. It's opening a wicket. So I got With Horn, Parliament of Scotland constituency. I got Mark Antis Santos. He is a Filipino politician who's a representative for Lesbian.

Okay, so it's made every Wikipedia article into a trading card. And you had some big gooning guy there for a second. An album called Four Corners. It's the fifth album from American Jazz Group Yellow Jacket released in 1987. I got Club Ninja. It's a 10th studio album by American rock band Blue Oyster Cult. And I got, 1978 U.T. Arlington Mavericks football team.

So as if you press random article 10 times, you've got those as trading cards now. But you can collect these. Look, it's fun. He's collecting cards. Oh, I got a gold card. We got a gold card. Hold on. We got Wong Sing Chi, who is a Hong Kong politician.

We got Noel Campbell, the hurler, Steve Crow, the rugby league player. And we got Accra, the Fortress. That's awesome. That's a big poll. That's a big poll. That's a big poll. What is that? What can you do with these cards once you get them?

Can you like trade them? You can click on it. No, I don't know, but you can click on it. It takes you to the Wikipedia article. Either way, wiki-gatcher. Go try that if you fancy it. It might be unsafe, but it's not. Lewis's, um, Lewis's, um, Lewis's anti-virus thing started throwing a fit when he tried to visit it.

Who knows why? He did. I don't know. This is from Alex, who wants to know. Or so he says, uh, are listening to episode 350. finally dawned me that I can contribute to the podcast. You three were debating whether people fuck vacuums. Yes, they do. I know this because at the wedding of my British cousin, the best man gave a speech in front of the entirety of both families where he relayed the story of his

mum, walking in on the groom, pleasuring himself with a Henry vacuum cleaner. Jesus Christ. He is seen into my mind that it was a Henry because the best man brought out the same vacuum cleaner from all those years ago, missing an eye and everything, and handed it over to the couple as his gift. So there you go. That is fucked up. That is pretty weird, yeah. I think you could just laugh it off and just play it as a joke, right?

Yeah. It's pretty funny. That is pretty funny. It is pretty funny. It's pretty wedding level stuff. I mean, a wet vac, sure. Regular vac. I don't want to get damaged to admit.

I wouldn't, you know, are you sucking up like a glass of water in the vacuum? You shouldn't be doing that. It's going to break it, right? Well, no, if it's a wet vac, it's capable, isn't it? A wet vac is fine. Is that a thing? You know wet vac? Yeah, wet vac's a thing.

How do you not know about wet facts? I've never heard it. If I feel some, I use a mop. I don't use a wet bag. Wet vac's great. It's really good. It just kind of like sprays like a soapy solution, but then vacuums it up. It's just a way to like clean out all the fibers on the carpet and stuff.

Oh, you use it on a carpet. Yeah, typically, yeah, you can use it in your car and stuff too. It's just, it's just a way to like, don't use a wet vac on your dog. Don't use one on your dog. No, no. Don't use it on your pubis either. It might be. This is about the mayor of Bristol.

This is a correction. We dared to speak on truth. Marvin Reese, the mayor of Bristol, very much didn't want the mayor to be abolished and wasn't a cool guy. He was a kind of tin pot dictator slash narcissistic bully who thought he was perfect and everyone should agree with him on everything. His party lost overall control of the council, so the new majority forced a referendum on scrapping. the mayor. Rees was so bad, the city decided we couldn't chance anyone holding that position ever again. So I don't look up Marvin Reese, mayor of Bristol. Let's find out. So that's why they got rid of it. That's definitely another take that I didn't know about.

Were you a big, did you vote for him? I don't think I vote for him, but I also don't think I voted to get rid of him. Was I allowed to? Maybe I was. I didn't know. Are you? I would have voted. I would have voted to get rid of people. How does that work now? Can you vote for the mayor of Bristol? You don't really live in Bristol anymore, do you? You live outside of Bristol now. Kachem has a Bristol Postcode though. Oh, does it? Yeah. So it doesn't have its own. Right. So technically. So I'm just trying to see what was so bad about him, but I don't really know. Who knows? You'd have to look. I don't know if that email was correct. But did you guys, I forgot to mention this during the Luz News thing that we did this week. But did you guys hear about Jonathan, the tortoise, 193-year-old tortoise. Well, there was like a rumor circulating that he had died. And there was a misquote by his handler saying like that we're going to miss him so much.

Can't believe he died is 193 years old. And then the BBC posted an article about it about this tortoise passing away. And this was on April 1st. Oh, was it? April 4. And then the day after they had to say, oh, sorry, we got. it wrong. We believed basically like a social media hoax about this tortoise passing away and he hasn't passed away and he's fine. Christ. Some of those Oprah Falls were so, I've read another

one which was that this local cafe in Bristol had posted a picture of like an AI mockup of a disabled friendly play park outside. Right. You know, swings and stuff that you could get on with wheelchair and all this stuff. And it got posted all around different, you know, disability groups before they realized, before they said like, oh, no, this is an April fall. What kind of an April fall joke is that? It's like, we were going to build a really cool facility for the local people on. And now we're not. That's terrible. That is terrible. Yeah, no, some of them are, some of them are just, I mean, you can appreciate like the funny, creative ones, you know, the ones, you know, the ones that are clever or whatever, but

there don't seem to be many. I think the one I saw that was quite good was a tonnex tea cake Easter egg. And it was like this massive fucking Tonnix tea cake Easter egg filled with that tonics tea cake foam. Do you know what I'm talking about that either of you know what Tunnex tea cake is?

Yeah, of course they do. It's got it. So it had like the biscuit. Like the marshmallow inside. Yeah. Imagine an Easter egg, but a third of the bottom is that biscuit and then the rest of it is that white foam.

Oh, wow. That was a really stupid, funny idea. I'd eat it. Yeah. I think it might become a real thing. You remember back in the day when I think it was during Vanilla Wow. They did an April Fool's thing where they, it was the first time you ever saw a Pandarin. It was the, it was the panda character, but it was, you could order pizza through the game.

Through World of Warcraft, you could order a pizza and it would be delivered. like to your house and everybody at the time was like oh my god could you imagine imagine you could be in the game and you could order a pizza and it would turn up to your house and now look at us without have to leave the we'll leave the game i know and that's that that that did actually happen and also then panda did actually get put into the game massive scale yeah all the fucking april falls to come true that's the problem with april falls sometimes people are like i've said this is a run a good idea yeah and then it happens all right this is all right this is Let's finish with this one.

This is a joke in the first place. This is from Ben, who is a folly artist. A what? A folly artist. You know what that is? Okay. No. They do sound effects for TV and movies.

It's called folly work. Right. Like the slide whistle. Just a slide whistle. That was a door. But you see, sometimes you see like a little clip of someone making a sound and they're holding something really stupid looking, like a rubber glove. And they're waving.

They're flapping. it and it's like making the sound of a of a parachute or something. Exactly. It's really clever. So you may be surprised to learn that I am an apprentice folly artist, personally trained by the Bernie Puddles. Why do we regard to the few men who could walk across a floor of celery, sand, and church bulletin paper and make you believe it was a vengeful detective in wingtip shoes.

Well done, Bernie. I was shocked to learn. The modern productions often run 100. 140 plus sound layers per minute in big sequences. So a foley artist's job isn't just whacking coconuts together to make horse noises. We're part archivist, part percussionist, part audio nerd, and much more. Last month, I learned that rubbing latex gloves on melons can make the perfect cybernetic elbow flex noises. Fantastic.

Yeah, that's... I was also surprised to realize just how much celery we get through, as it's used for what feels like 50% of all the sounds we make. Anyway. Well, fortunately, celery is incredibly. incredibly cheap. Every time I buy celery, I'm surprised by how much of it you get for your money.

There's not much to any growth. It's never been harder to be a celery farmer, let me tell you. All right. We think we get more phonies. The margins are so small now. They're so small. If all the foliartes get put out of business

by fucking AI and all this shit, then the celery is going to, you know, going to be even cheaper. You know, they're the only ones fucking buying it. Well, more expensive, because no one's going to,

grow it because no one's buying up the price of local celery. Yeah. All right, so here's the quiz. There are eight sound effects and then eight answers to how they got that sound effect. So I'll give an example. The first one is a dying alien. So how do you think the foliarists got the sound of a dying alien? I think it was probably like a condom filled with jelly and then they like squirted it out

or underwater or someone like that bubbled it up or some dumb. dumb bubbling sound, right? It's like some slippery slapping gasp, last gasp. They just recorded themselves going, ugh. Ooh! No, the answer is a pug. A pug, a dog.

Being fed a wheel of brie, alongside a balloon full of gelatin, slowly being deflated. I don't even know what that is. That's what I said. I said a condom full of jelly. Yeah, you're right. You were so good.

Oh my God. You could be the next. You could be the next Bernie Puddles. You could do it. How about this one? A heroic dragon making an impactful entrance. Oh. Okay.

They just record themselves going, Ro! Ro! Six! Ro! I don't know. It was a wet towel slapped onto a roll of bubble wrap played at 50% speed. That'll get you that sound apparently.

Oh, zombie eating brains. Oh, it'll be like, it'll be like a dog eating some chum out of a bowl. No, they just record themselves going, Brains is what I was expecting you to say. That's what a sims is we're doing. I think it sucked like a watermelon that they're hitting with a tenderizing hammer or something like that.

No, no, no, it's cold macaroni sloshed around in a big tub of mayo. I would make a very gelatinous sound. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, Terradactal screeches. Okay, that is, I think sometimes that's like a real animal, just extended outwards. Like a lot of dinosaur sounds, they took like actual animal sounds just. Yeah.

They just take like the sound of a roaring lion and then just change like the pitch of it. Make it deeper and bigger. So it would be like a blue tit that's like extended like a hundred times. Yeah. You're very close. So all they did was it was a mixture of noises that they. are recorded of swans, horses and geckos being gently poked. So you'd poke them and they'd go, hey!

And you just mix that together and you get a teraductal apparently. Yes. We were right. You were right. A satisfying thwack noise for the knockout punch in a fight scene. That's like a dropping... A two-by-four hitting a large pile of folded cardboard. No, it was slapping a watermelon very hard with a thick leather glove. Oh, see, they love the fruit.

They love doing fruit and different things to hold. All right. Just vomiting. Fruit and object. Vomiting. Vomiting. Yeah. I'm sorry.

I think you probably just get like a bunch of like chunky vegetable soup in a, oh my God. In a pot and then pour it into the toilet. Water expelled from a large syringe into a bowl of beans and vegetable soup. Oh. You fucking kicked. You killed that. That's so good.

So it's close. Yeah, it's pretty close. All right. Kicking a ball very hard. Surprisingly, we didn't just kick a ball very hard is the answer. What kind of ball was it? Was it one of those like a football? Like a football.

Oh, right. Yeah. I'm going to say punching a cassaba melon with a pair of highly insulated mittens. I'm going to gently massaging a aubergine and a corsette and. With my mouth. Slap in a cordia And an obogeet and an obogeet together There you go, some stupid shit

Opening an umbrella as fast as humanly possible We'll get you that. Okay. Final one. Crushing a skull. Oh, God. Crushing a skull. Yeah.

I'm going to say stomping on some eggshells. No. Slowly standing on some eggshells. No, it's not eggshells. The cracking. Not a packet of crisps. Not a packet of crisps. Think of something.

quite hard to crack. Oh, okay. A skull. You're stepping on a crushing a skull. They did not crush a skull for the sound of a crushing skull. It was a wet walnut in a hydraulic press. A hydraulic pressure. You know, I was going to say hydraulic press next, but I was just thinking of what I would

put into the hydraulic press. But wet walnut was not on the list for me. In the background, what do you think? I think they just have very good sound equipment. And I think the, there are. sound engineer. What about, what about a pumpkin? A pumpkin in a hydraulic press would make such a cool noise, like probably like a headshot noise, you know, like that you want to hear in a game. Pumpkins, walnuts, watermelon, a lot of food, a lot of food. Yeah. But salary number one,

apparently. So, all right, great email. Thank you for that. Basie, squidgey kind of sounds, right? Exactly. It needs to have some pop to it. All right. Well, that concludes a mailback. I'm sorry for getting so cross earlier. I'm sorry. I couldn't get through a single line of this fucking email. It was just driving me up the wall. But the interruptions, we do need interruptions. It's about, but I just figured if I could just get through the email, then you guys can talk about it. That's better than constantly interrupting each other. That was, that was my word. What if we just had a side podcast where all you did was read emails uninterrupted and it was just you and nobody else talked about? We just felt like we weren't done talking about the previous thing. That's all. Because we can wifflewuffle on forever.

problem is that if we start talking about one thing for 50 minutes, this is not an email pod. I'm sorry. I know this is your mailbag. This is a regular book. No, no, it's not my thing. I just, listen. We should respect your comparing. People send these lovely emails. They send these lovely emails. And I've just, so many of them go unread because I have like 30 or 40 of them lined up just in case. And then we get through like two and half the podcast has gone. And I think, well, by next week I'll have another bunch of emails. And these ones are just going to get lost in the source. We'll just have to record more podcasts. That's all. That's the solution. Don't do mail bags as often as I might like, sadly.

Well, that's, maybe we'll be more. That's about to change. Next week, I've got us penciled in for one every single day. Okay. We'll mix up. Thank you everyone for listening. Keep the emails coming. Thank you so much.

Apologies for the anger, but you try doing this job. It's fucking hard work. We're all only human. Don't be so hard on yourself. We are only human. Sorry, I got a little bit flimmy there. Well, you're only human. That's true.

Yeah, we all are. Yeah. For the most part. Very true. If you're not human, email in. Yeah, give Lewis some ant tips. How can he deal with the ants? I don't need ant tips.

There will be dead by the time we do. Send in the ant tips. If you are not human and you've decided to retire and live on a cruise ship, should you be allowed to vote? That's the question. So email in your answers and let's see what. Yeah. Let's see where the cars fall.

We're going to try and do a mailbag episode next week. And that way, we can actually respond to, emails from, well, actually, know this will be the previous week. Yeah, the week. Yeah. All right, well, it's difficult. Either way, just keep them coming. Cheers.

Bye. Bye.