Triforce! - Smart Fridge stole my beer | Triforce #350

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

Triforce! Episode 350! Lewis finally reveals his house survey was completed by a blind man, Smart appliances keep sucking up my farts and drinking my beer and we get sucked into some Pokémon card collection chat! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This should be tons of fun. Marvel television's Daredevil, Born Again, now streaming only on Disney Plus. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Hi, everybody. It's like we're living on a different planet here. The sun is shining. I would love to.

to go outside. Yeah. But I'm stuck here chatting to you guys. So, you know, I guess I have to save that for later. Well, we're only here for an hour. You got the rest of the day after we're done. I know. I know.

But you know what? It's like in here. It's like, it'll pull with rain and part of time I'm like, put my shoes on, you know? Yeah. That's how it works. That's why you should just go outside in flip-flops. Just and then if it does rain, you're ready for all the eventualities, you know? I was outside yesterday.

Went to the green near us and all the leaves are starting to come out on the trees, the little birds are singing. Spring is almost here. It was a really nice day in London. I was there yesterday. Oh, up in London without informing me. Interesting. I did tell you a couple of weeks ago,

but we were only there to see Wutang on Tuesday night. Permission was not sought. And as we all know, this is my manner. I didn't want to inconvenience. We were at the O2. It's like really far from you. So we just thought, you know. Fair enough.

But next time you fucking ask. Would you have gone to Wu-Tang with him? No. No. Who did you go with? Just not my vibe. I went with raves. Oh, no way.

I didn't get in fight? Oh, man. Well, it was kind of like it was, it was not last minute, but it was a little bit different to like the ghost face shows because it was like at the O2 and, you know, you need hotels and stuff. So we just figured most people will not want to go. If any viewers listening to this, you can tell outside the podcast, we really don't like each other. Not enough to invite each other to a Wutan concert, that's for sure.

We will avoid hanging out together as much as possible. I've got a lovely picture that comes by on the frame, occasionally of me, you and you and Ravs outside, the ghost face killer gig. We went, it was like on the most freezing cold winter night. It was so cold, yeah. We're all like wrapped up, like, warm and holding cans aside. There is a lovely little picture. A great show.

It was a really nice show. I mean, the one that I went to see on Tuesday, the O2 was sold out. So it was like a much bigger scale. You know, we were much further away. I mean, they had like big screens and stuff like that. But like it was it wasn't as it wasn't as like personal as like the like the ghost face shows felt. You know, they were smaller, smaller shows. Ghost face killer shows a nice intimate little.

They're very intimate. Yeah. You get the jazz going. Everybody have a seat. We're going to talk about world history. That's right. Let's get intimate. Yeah.

Who was challenged today in their beliefs in the world? Oh, boy, I was challenged, Mr. Killer. Mr. Killer, I felt very challenged. Come up on the stage. That kind of vibe. It was exactly like that. Yeah, Lewis went up and he started talking to Ghostface about his leaky loft. And, you know, just the perils of living in a good clastra.

rural Britain. Ghostface knew right away what to say. He said all the right things, put him right at ease. It was great. I'm having problems with drainage on my land. Do you know someone in the Keensham area who can help out? Yes, I do. His name is Roger.

He lives down the street. Thank you, thank you, Mr. Ghostface. Wait, Lulu, did you go to the machine hire place? Did you hire your machinery yet? No, I haven't done. Look, I've done nothing since last week. I went in my... Excellent.

in the other half of my loft and pulled out a hundred boxes of old crap that the previous people had lived there. Okay. Did you find anything interesting? Here's the thing about lofts. Either you have ambitions to convert them or they are literally just the bin in the sky for you.

Yeah, it's like void storage. That's a good point. Yeah. If you put something in the loft, you forget it exists. Yeah, it's gone. And, you know, unless you move house, or die.

And then your relatives get to pick over that stuff. Then they think, why did they put this stuff in the loft? So I found in the loft, I found assorted boxes of VHS tapes. So that gives you an idea of when they went up there, right? Because back, and it got me thinking because back in the day, these VHS tapes were ranging everything from recording the rugby on the telly to, you know, like a old BBC. Do you remember that? What was video plus?

Was that when you scanned it and it did it automatically? You put a code in and like every show had a code. So like you could record a show just based on putting a code in. It would just like auto set. I don't remember that. So like say you wanted to tape like bargain hunt, but it was on Friday morning. You just find the code in like the TV guide. Put that into your VCR as long as there was a tape in there as well.

And then and then the VCR would just like automatically know when to start recording and stuff. But you had to have you had to make sure that the TV. was on the right channel. Otherwise, it couldn't... I don't remember that. Yeah. So, damn. I think the last time anything was put up there,

according to the last date I could see on it, it was about, you know, 1999. Right. And everything is... Sorry, Lulu, just to be clear, these VHS tapes are not yours. They're the person that lived there before you. No.

Of course, yeah. Right. Okay. And also just like tons of boxes of old magazines, just like old... Any jazz mags? No, like just assorted crap. Oh, man.

Then I guess just... Auto-trader magazines. There's a box of what's called kitchen stuff, which is like, you know, five... Sorry, kitchen stuff. Kitchen stuff, which is like some plates wrapped up in newspaper. Right, right. Lots of... There was a wicker basket full of, like, tat, like an old...

Just absolute tat that as soon as I picked it up, it... fell apart into sawdust and the whole place. It just, it just crumbled. Like, I've never seen anything like it. Um, and through sawdust everywhere. So I had to, I had, I had, I had a little, because I've got a little, um, gas mask I used sometimes where I do like spray painting stuff. So I was wearing that up there. Wow. And feeling like Darth Vader just, you know, yeah, trying to hoover the loft out just, oh, it was so many huge spiders as well. Oh, what are you going to do with the loft space or like? Yeah, what are you going to do with All this effort needs to lead to something.

I don't think there's anything to do with it. Honestly, it's too low to convert to any kind of room. And it looks like just an absolute tangle of insulate. What was it called out? Why have you bothered to do all this, though, if you're not going to do anything with it? Like, you should have just left it. Well, the thing is, I didn't want to leave it. So I wanted to, like, see how bad it was.

Because I had a guy come in and change a few downlights. and he was like, well, these downlights are, these old halogen downlights really shouldn't have been touching the insulation, you know, because they get hot. Of course. That's fair, yeah. And so I sort of, I felt like I ought to give it a once over. I'm obviously moving into this place and I'm going to live here for a while. So I feel like I should check, check it.

Yeah. I'm working my way through. So I'm on the loft. And I thought, because I was looking on check a trade, some sort of some of these loft people, and they do loft boarding, which is where they just make it look nice up there. basically they just put boards down. So it's like, you know, on the bottom of the loft, not the not the rafters of the loft.

Oh my God, anyway, there's mold up there. And I don't know what to do, but I'm a bit of mould. Kind of mold. Kind of mold. Is it black? It's not that. It looks like condensationy mold. Oh, no.

This is all bad. This is not good news. I will say, kind of looked at this stuff. Before you bought the place. Did you have a survey done before you bought this place? I did have a survey. But I guess it's difficult to see the mold when there's a million VHS tapes up there. Was he Ray Charles?

You just couldn't see anything. Lots of children's toys as well. Lots of creepy children's toys that have gone straight on the driveway. Readers. No, Ray Charles is famously blind. Yes. In case he didn't know. But I do really good survey.

It's real cheap. Right, right. He just looks around. Sounds good. He does it in song, which is just great. So, yeah, it's that. What else are we're done? Just got a weasy generally.

Weezy? You've gone wheezy. Oh, Tommy here, mate. It's the hay fever. It's the hay fever, yeah. The pollen's starting to pick up. Because I've started to get like a bit of a bit of a throat and a runny nose and a sort of coughing and sneezing.

I don't have a cold. This has been happening for a couple of weeks. It always happens when this car, this time a year comes in and you can see little tiny starts of spring, my no starts to act up, which is weird because I never used to get hay fever, but Mrs. F subscribes to the theory that every seven years, because all the cells in your body have changed, that, well, you could have acquired this. Yeah. It's bullshit.

It's bullshit. I looked it up. But it's a nice idea. Well, I mean, it's harmless to believe in something like that, right? I guess. As long as you're like, therefore we don't need vaccines. As long as, yeah, well, yeah, if you're dispensing like hardcore medical advice off the back then maybe not great. But, you know, like little things like that are fine, right?

Yeah, they're fine. Leave people to it. So I had this electrician round and he was looking at, because the outdoor lighting circuit doesn't work. Well, it does. It sort of trips immediately. And so obviously I've been living in this place where, did I tell you this already? But basically, it's dark outside the front of the. the house, but there's no curtains on the front of the house. So anyone's sort of coming by can see

in. But also, we can't see anyone out because there's no outdoor lighting at all. Now, there was, obviously, at some point. But we've had a couple of times where we've just been jump-skared by, like, a guy being outside. But it's usually, like, I think Boba had, Boba sent me a housewoman gift, which was like a bug hotel, one of these, like, wooden, it's just a little house-shaped bill. It's for, like, bees to, like, to go in. Which is a really nice, thoughtful gift. But the Amazon driver turned up at like 9.30, do you know what I mean? And banged on the sort of, because we haven't got a doorbell working anyway.

And, you know, it's just a bit weird. So I've been trying to get the outdoor lighting circuit work. And I got electrician around and he had a sort of poke around for a few hours. I gave him a day rate, though, Sips. I did, took advice. And I was like, what's your day rate? And he was like, oh, it's 365 quid. And I was like, oh, sounds great.

So he came around for a day and changed some. some, loads of odd jobs. Yeah, that's it. You get them for a day and you can get them to do all sorts of stuff rather than paying 400 quid for him to do one thing that he just drags his feet on. Or he's there for two seconds and he leaves and you're just like, okay, I couldn't recommend him more highly, but I don't know if I should give him a shout out. But anyway, don't I.

It's, it was, he basically found like a cable that was just sticking out of the ground outside the front door. And he was like, this cable was just live to, you know, 200 and whatever, faults, you know, it's like mainzartistic, just at nowhere. And he was like, there's another cable that goes into like a pool of water here that's just live as well for no reason. Oh, my God. And there's like this dilapidated old hot tub out the back, which I was going to probably

get rid of. But he said, you know, if you've been in that hot tub and I was like, no. And he was like, good, because you probably get electric in. There's no, it's no, whatever. It's RTS, RCS, RCS protection or whatever. Oh, you've got to have your RTS protection. I don't know what it means. He just said that it's not fused, I guess, is the point.

Did you get that? I love it. What cowboy put this in? Like you're, like you're supposed to know. Yeah. So if it's shortening, it doesn't. Yeah, well, you should have had this looked at it. The survey, it should have come up in a survey.

He did, but I didn't understand what the survey was talking about. Who did you have footage? Who did you have footage? Oh, he had Ray Charles do it. Oh, he's terrible. He's a lovely bloke, but I would know, no, I would. I would have a little. Well, this is one of these things.

I didn't have the electrical thing testing done because of various issues with timing. Like, the guy I had to come out and do the electrical survey, spend like a, you know, he said, I can do it in like three weeks or whatever. So I was like, okay, fine. Did you have to get the place checked for asbestos as well? Well, I think they've, I think the previous owner did that pretty thoroughly because I think the old, I found it. Oh, in the loft.

I found an old survey that was done on the house when the previous person moved in in like 1999 or 2000, 2001, whatever. Right. And it basically said that the garage, which isn't there anymore, had asbestos. And so I think they remediated all that. But it's very hard to tell. Nice you said remediated. Remediation. Oh, I love it.

We had when we had our loft done because they had to remove our old roof, but we had to get. the roof itself had already been surveyed, but because it was being altered or like tampered with, they had to get an asbestos guy in specifically just to check to make sure that there was none. And they found like low grade, but there's like there's degrees of asbestos. So there's like, fluffy.

There's like the high grade stuff that you actually need like people in hazmat suits and stuff. Right, right, right. And then there's and then generally, I think, Most builders or demolition people have some sort of like qualification or license to remove like low grade stuff. Like it has to be disposed of properly. Yeah, I think there's like asbestos, like, infused plasterboard or whatever.

They wove it into things. Isn't the general attitude just don't fucking touch it? Like I'm pretty sure that the whole thing with asbestos is as long as you don't disturb it in any way, it's not going to like spring to life and come. No, yeah, that's it. Once it's disturbed and it goes like airborne, especially like in an enclosed space, that's when it can be problematic.

Well, I think the problem is, is that with asbestos, is that it's the dust, it's the fibers that you breathe in. It's stuck in your lungs and then 20 to 30 years later, because I think that these fibers can't be gotten rid of in any way. So they're basically always like permanently going to scar your lungs. Isn't it? It's naturally occurring. Isn't it?

It's a rock, yeah. It's just a rock. So ancient peoples must have dug up, why rock fluffy? Fluffy rock taste bad, lungs hurt. This could be not true, but Marco Polo apparently had a rug made of asbestos that he would use as a sort of magic trick. So what he would do is he would spill a whole can of soup all over it or whatever. And then he would throw it in the fire. What kind of soup are we talking here?

This could be, I could be. I could be. I need you to start this story. The Heinz vegetable soup. Marco Polo, the explorer. Yeah, magical rug. Had a magical rug and a can of soup. Made of asbestos.

What are you talking about? I've got to look this up. Marco Polo, magical rug is what I'm Googling. So I believe that I heard this. This story, it could be bollocks, but... Doesn't sound like it is. But his whole... It was like a trick that he would...

He would spill a load of food or poor food on or make some mess on this rug. He would throw it in the fire. No. And then because it wouldn't... What you're describing is those guys you see in a market, Lewis, who are like... It would clean the rug. No, listen. What you're describing is Marco Polo, if he was a tradesman at a market, selling a mop to a bunch of housewives.

He'd be like, gather around, ladies, it's your worst nightmare. You kids spilled red wine. Your red wine, obviously. All over your rug. Don't worry. Marco Polo Mops, we'll have that up in a jiffy. What we do is get some water, getting a mop out, working through the water, and then look at it, sparking brand new rug.

That's what you're describing. Okay, here you go. Look, in the Middle Ages, the Venetian explorer Marco Polo described how in Siberia in 1250, he was shown a piece of unburnable cloth made, he was told, from the skin of the salamanders that lived in fire. However, his inquiries led him to an asbestos mine, which were probably those known to have been operating in Russia by Peter the Great. So, and apparently he had a piece of this cloth that when he, oh, here we go.

No, Charlemagne. Emperor Charlemagne is alleged to have saved a desperate situation by throwing a stained tablecloth into the fire and recovering it unharmed. Here you go. There you go. There you go, bitch. Asbestos has been used for 2,500. years apparently. Yeah.

Even in 438 BC, Plutarch recorded that the Vestal Virgins who tended the ever-burning fire of the sacred royal half held perpetual lamps with wicks of a woven material, which was almost certainly asbestos mixed with vegetable yarn. They all died naturally of old age at the age of 19 years old. Yeah, that's why they were virgins. They were seen to be coughing a lot before they died. It's just the old age strikes again. Just a little old age.

Back then, I don't think people lived long enough for people to really realize that like anything that anyone did would be harmful to them. You know, like it was just. No. You were just a flash in the pan back then. Well, did you see, I heard a lot about this thing called this TV show called the Plastic Detox, which I didn't watch. Good. Sounds great. Excellent. But it was, there was an article about it on The Guardian I read.

And it basically said, get up after a restless sleep. Shower using products that contain plastic and are in plastic containers. Deodorose your body using sprays smooth by plastics before putting on your clothes worn from synthetic plastic fibers. Pick up your plastic phone, sit water from your plastic bottle and head out. Chew plastic gum. Buy a snack wrapped in plastic and receive a receipt printed in plastic. Come home, take food out of its plastic packaging. Why do you keep saying plastic?

This sounds like the start of like a song from the 90s. Stole the leftovers in plastic tubs. Think about plastic. Wouldn't you love to have some plastic? Wouldn't you love to use plastic? With a plastic toothbrush and plastic infused toothpaste. So the idea is that there was this, I think it was a TV show. Right.

About how plastic has just infiltrated every aspect of our lives. What about that shit that they discovered that can eat plastic? It was like a, what is it like a bug or a fish or something? I have that every couple of years, a newspaper says it, and you never hear about it again. God, do you know, like, when I read about that, I, like, I felt very, like, scared, like, not really knowing too much about it, but, like, what if there was something that could eat the plastic, but it was just like in an underground facility somewhere, and it just kept getting bigger and bigger and then eventually just, like, out of control, like, where's more plastic?

Oh, my God, we're out of plastic. Like, what are we going to do? It becomes, like, some God that you have to, like. I must melt you all down to make more plastic. I'm hungry. That's like the gray goo theory of nanobots. Yeah, the goo theory of nanobots. So gray goo would be the end result of nanobots being released into the wild.

Right. They would just reduce everything to gray goo. And that gray goo is actually just nanobots, like just an ocean of nanobots, just sort of going around nanobotting things up. A bit like the paperclip AI, you know, the AI that turns the entire solar system into a giant factory to produce paper clips. Yeah. You've heard that story. Yeah, all that. It's the idea of...

It's a tale was all this time. That one. It's... Well, in a sense, like, I've talked to you about this before, haven't I? Because I've been cleaning up seemingly endless amounts of plastic from this house. Yeah. And I found out it was probably the dog who was just snaffling cheese into all the corners of the, of everywhere. This has been a very odd podcast, because I don't understand what you're talking about half the time.

I definitely told you this story. You said, I found some plastic, and it was probably the dog that was snaffling cheese everywhere. I'm sure I told this, but basically, I kept finding, like, cheese wrappers and all sorts of different... Like, single slice, like cheese wrappers or something. Like processed cheese? Like, like an M&S cheddar wrapper, do you mean? Like, actual, like, grated cheese or something. Or, like, in all different places.

wrapping that cheese comes in. It's like almost waxing. If you did tell us this, I apologize. This is great. I don't remember you telling us this. Look, I thought that like, when I moved here, there was so, there was so much plastic everywhere. And when I spoke to the person who lived here, they were like, oh, yeah, our dog used to, you know, sometimes see all the cheese and run off with it. And as a result, that's why every corner of the property has a little bit of plastic wrapper.

That is funny. The dog would snaffle up some refrigerators. You should have negotiated a lower price on the house. You should have been like, I'm glad you told me that, but I'm going to have to come in. My original offer is going to be reduced by 10,000 pounds now because this just will not do. Knowing that there's a cheese snaffling dog. We're going to have to get the cheese crew in to clean up.

It's a nightmare. Every time I find a problem, but I also appreciate that, you know, they just don't know what they're going to be loved you. I bet they absolutely loved you. They sort of come. night and day. Yeah.

It's raining at the property. There's water falling from the sky onto the property. What are you going to do? I want to not 10,000 pounds off the buying price, please. That's all wet now. That's how you got to do it. If only. Art of the deal, baby.

I paid full price like an idiot, apparently. I think that's something you're not supposed to do. Do you actually pay full price? You didn't negotiate even slightly? No, I just went in and paid full price. And you should have gotten a bit of a deal there. You could have probably gotten a deal. I know I could.

It doesn't sound like the art of the deal at all. No, it sounds like the opposite of it. It sounds like the opposite. You know, sometimes you just, you, you. Sounds like you were the victim of the art of the deal rather than the. You got art of the deal. You got art of the deal there, I think. Yeah, somebody else had done their homework and read the books.

I think I thought that I guess I was at a point where I'd seem, quite a lot of places. Yeah. And I thought... I simply must have this one. I would pay full price. You know what? I'm going to pay more than you're asking, in fact.

I have to have it. I did actually pay more than they're... I paid 30 grand more than they were asking. You paid 30 grand more than they asking? Well, yeah. How did that? voluntarily? How did this happen?

There was an additional, like, piece of woodland attached to the side. Right. Which is, by the way, I haven't even set foot. Yeah. I've been here two months. I want to come and rescue you. You need like a cuddle or something. You need an intervention.

What is happening? Well, I've just, I've gone mad. It's like my midlife crisis. I've basically... Buying a house is not a mid-life crisis. You bought a place with no garage? Where are you going to put all your Ferrari? No garage.

Well, it's got, it's got an outbuilding. And so many old sheds. Like, there were, I've found three. sheds that have fallen down on this place. And I've been dragging them to... You're going to have to get hump and dump in to get rid of those.

Lift and shift. You got a local lift and shift or hump and dump? There was a lovely local man who came and cleared some of my rubbish away. He looked like Duncan except sort of wilder. You should get groove and move. Groove and move. They'll dance

around your house and clean it up with song. What about fucking Chuck? We don't give a fuck and we'll chuck your rubbish. Yeah, I like it. Oh, man. Perfect. So, no, it's an ongoing saga, and I'm sure it'll be lovely eventually.

But, yeah, like, I paid extra for it because they had a joining piece of land. And I thought, we'd rather buy it now than, you know, negotiate for it later or whatever. I guess that makes sense. Problematic thing on the side of my house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not owned by me. No, it's good. I think it's good to have because you can do, well, you can do almost anything with it, right?

You probably need to get planning permission if you want to build something on it. But just for it to be, you know, if you want to clear it and use it to like grow stuff or even just leave it wild or whatever. Like it's, it's probably worth it. It's so wild though. It's like a wall of brambles. I cannot get anywhere close. Well, you're careful when you're clearing it because you don't know who's in there. You might have, you might have, I made a new friend last night.

I was driving back from the airport. it was like, I was like 7.30, 8 o'clock and I was dark. Go to turn into my driveway and it was like, what the fuck? There's like a big rock in the middle of my driveway. And then it started moving. I was like, oh my God, there's like a huge hedgehog on my driveway. Oh, shit. And he was just like, he kind of like scurried to the side of the house.

You got like a door on the side of the house with like a little step. And I think it was like a like a mystery man situation. He thought he was hidden because he just like sort of put his face in the corner. I went over to see him and stuff man he was really cute but I don't know I've seen them before like we get them around every once in a while but there's nothing around here that's like overly you know like there's not like big

bramble bushes or anything like that so he must just be living I did see people's backyards or whatever but I was I did see the huge I saw a grass snake yesterday which I haven't seen in a long time so I remember to see one back when I was a kid and I lived in a little village and, uh, but it was, it was probably, it looked really healthy. It was bright, like green and like yellow and black markings on it. And they're like harmless.

Um, but there, I, I got my phone out to take a picture. And as soon as I, and I was really quick about it. So I was like, I was like, wow. And then it'd gone. It just, it just vanished into like, it'd gone as this. And I couldn't believe it. So I was like, it wasn't moving that quickly. But I saw it. And it was almost like a mirage. So I saw it. I was like, oh, man, I've got to take picture of this. Oh, shit, it's got. And it's like that quick. So it obviously disappeared into a gap somewhere and slithered away underneath.

God knows what. My garden's a big mess, which is a joy. You guys will have to come down. Yeah, I know. We're planning on it. We're going to surprise you. One of these days, you're going to be like, who the fuck is that? And it's just going to be me and like my million kids standing outside screaming at all of them.

Stop doing that. Don't touch that. Don't do. You're going to go in the jacuzzi. It's not ready. There's a snake. There's a snake in my movie. Get out of that loft.

It's not safe. We haven't vetted those VHS tapes yet or the magazines. Put down that asbestos, one of you, please. Stop eating that. Yeah. So it's that I can't wait. That sounds. Yeah.

Delightful, yeah. That gives me a motive to like get the place up and up to Nick, up to scratch. Up and running, yeah. You're going to do, the big question is with all this new space. Are you going to do some big ass gardening? Are you going to start growing some shit and like use that outdoor space? Because I think about it. Get some chickens.

You could get chickens. Oh, wait, wait. Wait, he's a vegan. He didn't eat eggs. Well, I don't know. Like, if I grew up myself, I'd probably be less problematic about it. But the problem is, is, he's going to start a chicken sanctuary and just he's going to throw the eggs against a wall every day.

I'm going to start fucking the chickens. You cannot be saying that. Because we had a discussion about this where I said, if you kept the chickens and raised them yourself as a vegan, wouldn't that be okay? And we had like a million emails about it. And you guys were like, especially Lewis was like, no, it's not how it works. Well, I mean, yeah, it's not. It's not a reversal.

This is toilet gate all over again. It can't keep happening. But I'm not going to have chickens. It's too much trouble having any pets. Like, I think I did see a deer in, they're basically pets. They're basically, yeah, that's true. If you take on the responsibility of having animals, even like chickens, I'm going to be, I had a pet bird for a while and it was so much trouble. I've loved that bird so much.

I like that flapping fucker. That little, that little fucking piece of shit. I love that fucking little. I love that fucking thing so much. I loved it so much. It was, it was too much. You did not love it. You complained all the time about the noise it made.

I remember all those times at two in the morning when all you would hear is like, paca, paca, like so loud in your house. We did not know. No, don't know. He was always quiet at night. He was cover them up with the sheet and they go quiet. Anyway, he, he, I saw, I saw a deer in my garden. Nice. So I think there's deer walking around.

And also my neighbor complained because she was like, you know, there's a fence where deer, jumping from your garden into my garden and I was like, what are you meant to do about that? Exactly. Sorry, they're dear. You know what you should have response?

You should have responded to fucking nature man. It's so fucking awesome, isn't it? Yeah. It's just fucking like, they fucking jump that. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's so beautiful. It's all fucking.

fucking beautiful, isn't it? Oh, man, it's so beautiful. He'll never talk to you again. That's all you got to do. Yeah. I, the impression I've gone is that. I've seen like four of you now to this. I didn't know it. Oh, I had a skirt of emotion. What? Yeah.

I was so funny. I was outside because my partner was like, oh, look, there's loads of wild garlic here. And so I was like, oh, cool. So I picked a bit. that, not that, that is, that is poisonous. I was like, how do you? You're like a baby. It just pick as to buff off the ground and putting it in your mouth.

But she said that's a wild garlic. And I was like, I was like, how am I supposed to know they look the fucking same? Anyway. Do you know what? That's actually a real pain in the neck having that in your garden. Wild garlic? Yeah, because it's a bulb. Man.

It really hard to get consistently out of the ground and gone. You're going to have wild garlic Such a boon in Project Zonboid though You find some of that shit And it's just like oh my God It's like every cooking recipe is unlocked now Yeah Let the good times roll

Yeah Yeah Well I'm glad that you're You're settling in Lewis It sounds It sounds like I know you may not think it's fun now But you'll look back one day

And you'll be like Man that was fun I should never have bought this fucking place Yeah I'm sorry no You might think that as well Yeah But now like it just takes time

With a place Once you get it Once you get it like initially sorted and there's a lot less to do, it's, it's, it's great. It's great owning a place. I can't, there's just so many, the task list is just never ending. Yeah. Like, it's all busy work. I spent three hours trying to get Alexa working on the new, on this new Wi-Fi and I can't do it.

And like, and that's just a completely waste of three hours of my life. You know, I've just got this fucking, you know, it's like I've got these, I don't know, Hugh, Hugh Phillips Hugh bubbles from my old place. And the ones that you can like program with your phone and stuff, you can like Yeah, and but the thing is house, go green, like stuff like that. Shit, I was, I was playing Dotes with a mate of mine last night. And his fucking Hoover, like, yaps. Like, I thought a room, but you just turned it on and it just quietly went about its business not picking up anything.

Hello, Colin. Would you like me to start vacuuming? It's 2 o'clock in the morning. I'll come back in half a lot. hour. No. No. It's like a windows update. Yeah, exactly. Fuck off. So it literally, like, I hear this thing going like, start starting cleaning process. I was like, jeez, a gentle beep or a green light will do. I don't need this. It was crazy. Like, it was so loud. You could just hear it in the background when we're playing just this thing talking about what it's doing. Got that bit good for you, right?

Stuck in corner There we go Just shut up in a hoover Why? Why is that necessary? When people make less noise when they hoover You haven't replaced it But you've made a more annoying person

Who hovers That's all you've made I think this might be rogue AI Like trapped in this hoover Jane It's like this game sentience Still hovering Going well

It's like yeah Shut the fuck up Just do it That is mad But everything is somehow now smart. Just wait until they start unionizing. It's fun. This is not the right Hoover for the job.

I'm calling my union rep. Your pet hamster has been Hoover. I was trying to get an ampuifier for this room. And I couldn't find one that wasn't like smart enabled. Every single one has its own fucking apps. And enter your password. I don't want a password for my dehumidifier. Yeah, but now you dehumidifier is Wi-Fi, but it doesn't need it.

Yeah. Let me just turn a button on and it just does its thing. And it can just do its thing, yeah. Can you imagine if every fucking thing you had made its own little commentary? Oh, you know, pure thames. Oh, did you just fart? I couldn't, I'm cleaning that up. Purifying.

Sucking it up. Sucking up, farts. Sucing it. Your farts. Fart more. I've got more capacity. Keep farting. My filter is 1% filled.

You have unlocked fart achievement number one. Suck up 10 Fart in one day. Everything though. I can imagine for everything. Talk to your fridge. It's going to happen. It's already happening, isn't it? 41%.

People's friages like play ads and stuff now, don't they? Probably. I've noticed. that bag of spinach you bought that wake weeks ago is still festering on the bottom, you know, tray of your fridge.

Are you going to eat it? That would be actually helpful. What, the lecture fridge? Not the lecture fridge, just the reminder fridge. Don't forget about that hummus. Oh, thanks. Don't eat those olives.

Don't eat those olives. That would actually be. kind of useful, though. Yeah. Fridge, is there any alcohol in the fridge? No. I put something yesterday. Where did it go?

I don't know. It's all drunk. The Hoover drank it. Why are you talking? HooverBot has a problem. Well, at least you can acknowledge it, Hoover Bot. Oh, fuck. Christ.

The only problem with my Hoover Boy is it's full. of sawdust and shit now. I can't. I've spent so long cleaning out my Hoover only for it to be fucking still broken. I think I need... You need a Henry. Actually, you need everything. Get a Henry, man. They last forever. Yeah, they're good. Or a melee.

I would recommend Mulele. Yeah. Yes, a Miele. Yeah. Oh, we got a Miele Hoover. It's excellent. It really does last. They're just good. We've got like a, like an old style Henry one, you know, like the little like, it's like a little like a little domy thing with the face on it. But we also got, they do like a cordless version, but it's like it's a lot more like posh, you know, it's like it's just meant for like spot hoovering.

You know, you have to get like a little bag and put it into the thing and stuff. But it's good. It's nice. You just like just charge it up and especially with kids, you know, like if you, if there's like crumbs or whatever, you can just like get in there really quick. You don't need to pull the whole thing out and plug it. in and it's like, it's like, it's like a big dustbuster. Remember those? Remember dust busters? Oh, hell yeah. It's like a big version of that. It's not a dust bust, but dust buster brand, but it is a dust

dust bust. Yeah, I guess that was the brand, right? The big, the big brand. Like there was, there was like off brands, but dustbuster was like the big. That was the, that was the, that was the, I mean, that we've got. I think it's a carcher actually. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they do loads of like power All that kind of stuff. Like lots of household stuff. All of that. Exactly. Yeah.

So I'm pretty sure it's when it's a, it's a car show. It's handy. But the thing is, first of all, it doesn't really pick up much. It's good for like, you spill some crumbs. Because the big Hoover is always quite heavy. Yeah. Got to get it out and plug it in and everything is like, yeah, and the kids can use it.

Like that's the good thing. The kids can use it. We got one of those spot vaks as well, just a small one, which is handy as well. Like if, you know, if somebody spill something on the carpet or whatever, or whatever. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But I also used it when my garage flooded to like, uh, to, to, to hoover up all the

fucking mud and shit that was on the, on the floor. So it was, uh, it's pretty nice. It's, like, it's one of those ones that you got like the clean tank. You put a bit of solution in it. And then you got like the gunk tank, like all the crap that it sucks up. But it like sprays like some nice smelling soapy water and then just like sucks it all up. But it's like, it's like turbo sucks. So it's like really satisfying.

You know, you can see all like the fucking dirt and shit going up the. Oh, yeah. The little thing is like see through so you can see all the gunk coming up. Fuck, yeah. That's great. I think people use them more to like clean cars and like inside of cars, but you can use them for just about anything. Like it's pretty good. Yeah.

My dick fits in it perfectly as well, which is amazing. I was waiting for it. A huge, I was, I was waiting for that. We were all thinking it. Yeah. But then like, you know, I just got to spell it out, you know. I just got to spell it out sometimes. My dust filter.

is filling up. At an alarming rate. I'm not a wet vac. Yeah. Would you fuck a vacuum cleaner if it talked? No. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't even do it if somebody paid me to do it.

You know, like some people would... What I'm saying is, imagine if we get intelligent vacuum cleaners. Yeah. Like we're talking about, like, AI vacuum cleaners. And it's like hot for you. Right. Like, I've been watching you all year. A lot of people don't need a reason to fuck something.

That's true. Yeah. There's that guy that fucked the pavement. There's the guy that fuck was fucking a bicycle in his hotel room. You're right. I think people don't need it. Well, it was right, P-Flex. People are going to be buying vacuum cleaners that have an ally personality.

I love you. Exactly. Let's have babies. It's going to happen. I'm telling you. People are going to fall in love with their fucking vacuum cleaners. People are like falling in love with like chat GPT and stuff, aren't they? Exactly.

There's that dude that was like, you can't sex. it's not as real as a real woman. It's a relationship is the same. It's like, fucking, what are you talking about? It's a robot. I still fuck a hot robot, but what I'm saying is, I wouldn't love it. No. Right.

You just use it. How do you know, though? I mean, you say that now. How do you know, exactly? You might just fall head, head over heels for this. For one thing. You might not realize you fall in a love with it. You would know that there's nothing genuine about the relationship.

Right. Okay. From whose side? You know it's just programmed, from mine. Right. Because I'm just fucking this robot because it's there. Do you really love me? Yeah, sure thing, baby.

Now go hoover up the kitchen for me. Oh, sad, but probably true. It's, it feels like it's already, this stuff is like kind of happening already. Absolutely. I love those videos of like the, of like the robots, like trying to clean somebody's kitchen. And they like they just kind of go crazy and, like, they just kind of go crazy. like fall over or like this spin around. Do you ever see the ones doing like the cowboy like showdowns?

I love it. I love those. Especially the ones that are like when they get the, you see a lot of them in China and Japan, they have these tech demos where they're so proud of their, their robot. And they get the robot and it immediately just starts freaking the fuck out. Yeah, yeah.

Like spinning its arms, kicking the dude that made it just like, just like, yeah, buy one of our fabulous deadly robots. They're, um, fun for all the fans. You know those, like those robo dogs?

You always see them like flipping and landing back on their feet and stuff. It's like that, what is it, Boston Dynamics or whatever? Like their robot is always, it looks like a dog, right? It's not like, it's not shaped like a dog, but it's like on four legs and it just kind of like walks around and can do all these flips and stuff. Apparently, it feels like a futuristic video game enemy. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. But apparently they're using them to guard like AI data centers now, like these fucking creepy ass robo dogs.

Yeah, guarding data centers. God, I hate all that shit. It's just a... I mean, honestly, if you're a burglar, I know that they say that deterrent is quite difficult when it comes to crime. Like, people are going to do crimes and nick stuff out of desperation, not because they've made some logical... Yeah.

Some of them have, obviously. There are certainly some crafty buggers out there. Yeah, yeah. But how many people are going to get the... They're there with their binoculars, scoping out the factory, and a fucking robot dog walks past. Yeah, it's like... What are you going to do?

It's like, fucking middle gear solid or something? You're like, no fucking way. Yeah. For one thing, the old poison sausage trick isn't going to work on a robot dog. What are you going to do? What if you do like an EMP, like a brutal EMP move on it, you know? Oh, that'd be pretty soon. Either one that naturally has developed within you or you just had some technology to do it.

Or, you know, like that would be the way to go. Deploying EMP. Yeah, exactly. Standard burglars. It's in the bag of every burglar. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. It's in the cat burglar handbook.

Bring your EMP with you at all times. you never know when you're going to need it. Always. Get rid of robodogs and stuff. I guess that's just modern day burglary now, you know? These are the things that you go. Like a long time ago, it was just like, people just left their windows open. All you had to do is just sort of slip in and slip out.

But now. Steal a pie off a windowsill. Yeah, that's it. But now you got a, you got to, you got to be up with the times, you know. You got to. This is the perfect segue. Oh, what's the segue? To lose news.

Oh. So, so Pokemon Go data is being. used to train food delivery robots. Nice. So little robots, not little Pokemon or little dogs, but little shit robots that keep getting, I think one of them killed a dog recently or something like that. Hello, food delivery for Gio dude. Is there a wheedle at the property?

Those are the only two I know. Yeah, I know. Neantek spatial, which is the team. Pokemon Gold team, I've got all this data from people walking around with their phones and, you know, and it's going to be used to train food delivery robots. So isn't that mad that Pokemon Go is doing that? That is mad. That is mad.

At least some good came from Pokemon Go, I must say. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's weird. It's just changed the game completely. How it has? How is it training them? Well, I think it's just...

But it's feeding like people's root data. I think it's a classic example of people's data being stolen to train something weird. But they're monitoring the routes people take to get from A to B and then they can train the AI to be more efficient. Like, here, take these shortcuts and stuff. This is what big data is, right? Big data is this huge amount of information that people have collected as part of doing a project like Pokemon Go.

And then that's really the thing that makes the money because they can sell that. What if everybody was like cutting through a field and then like, five years later, a big building was built there. Or like, or like a just a big sinkhole opened up there. But the AI just kept using the shortcut. Exactly. Then you're going to get like a big ton of delivery robots in the bottom of that hole. Yeah. I guess they can adapt, right? I guess that's the point. They have like routines to like, I don't know, like to future proof themselves maybe. I don't really know how it works. Also on Pokemon news, someone posted a tweet saying how like Geng is a good Pokemon, right?

Well, yeah, I mean, obviously. Who is? And then Gengai. And then Gengar. Who's he? Gengar's a Pokemon. He's a Pokemon. Let me look him up.

Let's have a look. It doesn't matter. It does matter. Someone said he's a good Pokemon. Is this your favorite one, Lewis? Are you a big Gengar fan? It is a popular one. Right.

I know it's a dual-type ghost poison introduced in Generation 1. He's a cool guy, Gengar. Anyway, Logan Paul replied to it with just an AI comment and it's kind of it just reeks of the whole like high fellow kids like is he trying to stay cool by talking about Pokemon because he's obviously a big Pokemon card collector but he couldn't be asked he couldn't be asked to have a real opinion about Gengar and so he just copy he just asked Chat GBT GBT why is Gengar the perfect Pokemon and then chat GBT said why it is and he copy pasted that into a tweet and replied that is the world we live in now but

it is like it is just like his his whole thing is trying to do like get rich quick schemes about Pokemon card reselling and all this and boosting his own. I didn't realize that he was a, a Pokemon card person. Yeah. He makes, yeah, he does like, because it's such a money spinner, you know, these to boost, to like not only do the videos of like an old hack opening to see if he can get a million pound card or whatever, but also he's got, doesn't he own like some of the most expensive Pokemon cards or has paid the most for Pokemon cards?

No, there's one, what's that one guy? He was in that movie What's that? Timothy Chalemay No, not Timothy Charlemais Michael B. Jordan. No, it was that guy

that was in the Marty Supreme one. He's got... Timothy Chalemate. No, no, he's an older guy. He's like an old bald guy. But he has like an expensive card collection, but I don't think...

It's not Pokemon though, is it? Is it like something else? Is it Kevin something? Isn't he from there, version of Dragon's Den. That's right. Yeah, that guy. Doesn't he have like a really expensive card collection?

He took it to like the Oscars with them or something? Yeah, yeah. He was showing it off. What a dick. What kind of cards are they? I don't fucking know. Yu-Gi-Oh, magic. Who's this?

His name is Kevin O'Leary. Kevin O'Leary, also known as Mr. Wonderful. He's a cump, by the way. He is Canadian, so getting some points for that. But he's on Dragon's Den. With Shark Tank in there. Yeah. So he's on our Dragon's.

then, and he was on Shark Tank in the US. And for some reason, he was in Josh Staffdeesville, Mighty Supreme. Right. Okay. He co-founded Soft Key Software, a company that sold software geared towards family education and entertainment. In other words, a load of absolute whank. Right.

But he has some sort of, like, priceless card collection, but I'm not sure. Yeah, right. This was in the news a couple of days ago. Shark Tank Investor Kevin O'Leary made waves for wearing the 2004 Upper Deck Exx All-MBA access pass card, affectionately known as a triple logo man, at the 98th Academy Awards on Sunday. He wore it.

And he wore it as like a, like it on a big chain around his neck. Yeah. In the protector. Utley bizarre. Because apparently it's worth, you know, an insane amount of money, $30 million or something. Jesus.

I mean, Logan Paul, I think, sold a Pokemon card back in, back a few months ago to someone for $12 million. $12 million for a card? Just to be clear, just to be clear, the reason that this money is being exchanging hands for these things is for the same reason the paintings do. The thing is with the paintings is they have some inherent artistic value, but the only reason they're worth $10 million.

Just like speculation. Some guy will spend $10 million on it, and therefore you know there's some other guy will pay $15 or $20 down the line. So with these cards, now that these rich idiots, with no brain have begun collecting them, suddenly they're worth millions because this Kevin O'Leary guy will pay $3 million for a fucking NBA card or whatever. Like, it's just more bullshit for these rich tickets to buy. With this stuff, there's a bunch of different factors.

Okay. Now, for example, Pokemon cards came out, you know, sure, 20 something years ago, but there's stuff that's a lot older than that, that's in the same collectible landscape that isn't worth a fraction of the price. Now, obviously, like, there's a huge amount of factors that scarce tea, sure, is one. Definitely. If there's a card that was only five printed of ever, that's going to make it more valuable. But not necessarily. There has to be a market behind it. Exactly. I should have gone on to my major league baseball 1987 Panini sticker book with my hologram Pete Rose, like, four-parter that was like fully assembled. That would have been worth like

probably 12 million nowadays. 50 billion, I would guess. You remember those hologram stickers, though, that they would come in like four parts and you had to get all the parts to form the full picture? Yes, exactly. Now, some of these things are probably rare and some of the rarest Pokemon cards, but there's no market form. There's no culture around.

Darylograms. Darylogram. We are talking about Pokemon cards right now because Logan Paul, who is a huge name, is talking about Pokemon cards. By him posting this thing about Gengar and staying in the news about Pokemon, it enhances Pokemon's value to hear. So it's almost like artificially creating interest. Like the best thing that ever happened to...

In like small kind of like what seems like inconsequential ways. But like it's... Well, the classic example is the Mona Lisa, right? The reason the Mona Lisa is so famous is because it was stolen and it became this huge news story in 1914 where it was a global story. And then when it was recovered, you know, it was this, you know, again, a massive, massive news story. And so it doesn't necessarily have its, because currently I think it's, it's, it's, it's insured for like a billion dollars. It's a small ass painting.

Like, it's, it's, I was surprised like when I saw it because I thought, oh, shit, you know, like, I know this. It's like this famous painting. I thought it was going to be quite big. It's not, man. It's like, it's like a four. Like, it's like it's so small. It was printed off. Yeah, yeah.

Somebody just like, did like it's like, it's like they. 77 centimeters by 53 centimeters. It's not a lot. Leonhardovich, he's obviously incredibly famous person. Is he? Well, a historical figure is this, you know, this sort of polymath of the Renaissance.

You reckon? Yeah, he was kind of living, he was, kind of living, he designed a helicopter. Who's you play for? Sculpted things and did paintings. And you're Chelsea player, is he? He was designing bridges and things.

He was famous for, like, you know, his design for the helicopter is completely impractical. Yeah. It's that insane one. It looks like a World of Warcraft mount. Yeah, it looks like something a goblin would fly. Come on.

Yeah. But like, you know, stuff that has value tends to have to have a story. And I think Pokemon cards to a lot of people were popular enough. I think this is one of the things I've always said about Vincent van Gogh. Vincent Van Gogh. In order for his stuff to become collectible, they needed to be enough of it for there to be for people to have a collection and people to trade in them.

If there are only five Van Goghs, I think he wouldn't have been as famous, right? I could be talking shit. So I think there needs to be like hundreds. Could be talking a load of hoch. There needs to be like, yeah, exactly.

Moving on, the largest Lego set ever is coming out. Now, do you know what the previous largest Lego set? Oh, I wouldn't even like to guess. The Death Star. I think it was actually the millennial. Falcon.

Oh, yeah. Was bigger than the Death Star? Who's making these things? Lego. Yeah. The Millennium Falcon fit inside the Death Star. Oh, the Millennium Falcon Lego, the... No, you're right.

It was the Death Star. The really expensive one was huge though. But I think the Death Star is even bigger. When we say huge, are we talking size or popularity? Like room filling. Or number of pieces. Like it was massive. Remember we saw when we went to, when we went to VALSys,

When we went to Valve, Lewis, remember Bruno was making it? And it was huge. Remember it? Oh. Well, they had it in the office. It was like two desks worth of Millennium Falcon. And if you've ever wondered why a patch isn't coming out for your favorite Valve game. That's why. Building fucking Lego in the office.

Yeah. Maybe. I'm surprised. This is years ago. I guess there's different things. Anyway, apparently the Lego art world map has the highest number of pieces. which is 11,695 followed by the Eiffel Tower. I like those.

I like the three and one sets. I think they're really cool. Good value for your kids. That's the ones where you can build three different things. So you build it once and then take it all apart. Then you can build something like completely different, but it's all with the same parts. That is good.

Yeah, it's really good. There's one that's like a roller coaster, but then it can be like something else and then something else. It's neat. It's a good idea. The largest new set ever, is going to be called the Barcelona's

Sagrada Familia Basilica. Very nice. Finally, they were brave enough to do it. 1,0006 pieces. It's going to be $600. It's going to just, it's just out of control in size. $600 for like 12,000 pieces of the Legos?

That's a lot of money. That works out pretty good, I think. I don't know. Do you want to have an ancient looking old basilica in your Lego city? I think the reason. that they just brought that out is because they just finished the Sagrada Familia. And for anyone who's been to Barcelona over the years, it's never finished.

Like, it's literally taken them like, I don't know, 100 whatever years to fucking, and as people have died and come in and like new people have come in. New generations and stuff. Yeah, and be like, oh, I think we should add a Pokemon to the top, that kind of thing. Right. So it's got a changing style as you go around it. It's like a death by a million cuts. It's really weird.

But it's cool. I mean, you know, it's nice to see, but apparently they finished it. Apparently they finished. Yeah. God, well, it was the same. Maybe this is the 1.0 version and then they're just going to keep adding stuff on to it. A lot of things were like that, weren't they? A lot of the things had, like, I remember the Colne Cathedral had like cranes at the top of it for hundreds of years.

Yeah. You know, because it just never got. It's like when they're cleaning St. Paul's in London, they'll be cleaning it. And the cleaning seems to take like 15 years. So for years, tourists go there and they look up. expecting a view of St. Paul's and instead there's all these fucking scaffolding and top Paulin to cover it up. It is, I get it. It's frustrating. What's the latest on Notre Dame or Notre Dame? Noderm. Where you're from? I think they were said they,

a lot of people pledged to rebuild it exactly the same, didn't they? Yeah. Now, Notre Dame progress. Let's look it up. We have managed to decide to rebuild it. We had to take our holiday and a couple of cafe breaks and dark. Now we have decided, yeah, we will rebuild it. It took us four years. I don't know. It was, the fire was years ago.

I think it reopened two years ago. All right. Okay. Good. What? Great news. The fire was two years ago? No, the fire was even longer ago.

The fire was 2019. Wow. I know. So it just five years to rebuild and it opened in 2024. It took us five years and now we have rebuilt it. It's much smaller. It took $700 million. We have rebuilt it in Lego.

It is 12,000 pieces. One more piece than that other crappy place from Barcelona that we don't even like to mention. They have to do that, don't they? Oh, my God. It's always one-upping. You're a one-up. You know, I was thinking the other day about the Dutch accent. Like, I like to do the Dutch accent to Zilis whenever I'm.

hanging around with Zylis, I'll be, oh, do, do, do. But the thing is, as soon as you start doing it, he'll be like, oh, yes, very good. Do the Dutch accent. We don't sound anything like that. You just do this. All you bridge have the same stupid accent for how we sound. We don't sound anything like that, of course. So I don't know why you even do this.

Keep it up. Make you amuse yourself with this stupid Dutch action. Doesn't sound anything like me. That's it. That's such a good impression. That is a great impression. Holy crap. Shout out.

Big ups to that impression this week, I think. That one's got it. Okay, the final article is corporate types are clamoring for a new kind of plastic surgery. Injecting dead people's fat into their buttocks, I guess, or boobs. That's right. Rather than like implants or using your own fat from elsewhere in your body, you can buy fat from cadavers, donor fat, and inject it into areas where you would like to have more fat. How much is it going to cost to get JFK's ball fat? $100,000 injected into my balls.

You can get dead people's fat injected into your balls for $100,000. That's a bargain. Hey, kid, why don't we suck the fat out of our ass and sell it to people? My friend's all meat and chocolate, eh? It's delicious fat. What's your thing, bro? It's fucking, you. Oh.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, God. I know. So it's like, on the one hand, we've got a Zenpick face where people have, like, deflated their whole bodies via a Zenpick and everyone's looking like a fucking saggy balloon. And now they're getting dead people's fat to inject back in there. Oh.

So, like, fucking plump it up again. But Monjaro is the other one, Monjarro? Yeah. One of them, yeah. God. That's the one we got here. Is it, was it developed in like Denmark or something, but I think, or Norway maybe, but they I know you, I think Denmark, yeah.

They found, and they never like intended for this, but they found that potentially it can be used to treat people's like addictions as well, drug addictions. Oh, it's really, smoking, drinking, like, apparently. Imagine, when I was on it, all cravings are gone. Like, it's just gone. It's really, really remarkable stuff. Yeah, that's crazy.

Well, remember, I think it's all made in Denmark, Sips, actually, because there was a time when Trump was saying, I'm going to invade Greenland. Oh, yeah. Denmark said, well, if you do, we could just stop the US's entire supply of a Zempic. And then you're going to, what are all your Hollywood people? Don't they supply a lot of their insulin as well, which, I mean, it's a lot of insulin, that they must supply. I'm pretty sure they do.

Maybe. Yeah, I think it's made in a weird way, isn't it? Like, with special enzymes. Do you know what it's reminded me of? And it's like not even really related, but it just reminded me that recently I've seen some, um, some like, YouTube shorts that are, that are quite funny. It's like, uh, it'll be like music videos, but without the music, but it'll be like somebody like dubbing over, but like really shitty.

Oh yeah. Like singing and like sound effects and stuff. He's fucking great. It's so fucking funny. been doing that for years. Like it'll be like a silent. Man, the Spice Girls one that I saw was so funny. But there's just like little things that made it so funny.

You're like, you know when one of them does like a backflip on a table, like you can hear like cutlery and cups like clattering around and stuff. He's really good. I think he's scared. I think he's Swedish that guy. Oh, fuck me. I think so. Yeah. And you'll hear like, oh.

Yeah. Yeah. Like weird noises. Yeah. Yeah. Why is this gold? I need to look this up. Oh, it's so funny.

I don't know what it's called. I don't know what it's called. Yeah. And the audience are no either. No, they'll know. They'll probably know, yeah. Go and look up. It was probably hilarious and funny like 15 years ago.

That's why I'm only finding out about it now. We have covered an absolute mayhem of things today from VHS tapes to Kevin O'Leary to Notre Dame. It's been a wild ride. We've covered everything. Yeah. We're just. If you wanted a wide range. in series of topics.

Welcome to the TriFoos podcast. We got you. We got you. Gary, Grie goo. Normally we just talk about poo and pee and come. But now today we seem to have talked about more stuff than just those three things. Yeah, we've really branched out and improved.

Yeah. I need to go and do some washing. I need to get my bins in. I need to, oh my God, it's just a never ending. God, it's never ending. God. It's literally never ending. And it was such a lovely day yesterday and I was inside the whole day

doing like admin, Yorkscast admin. And I was like, why am I always know and I hope you always appreciate that I am God blessing you like almost all the time. So God bless you.

God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. I have that power.

Yeah. He wasn't going to until I said it. He wasn't even looking at blessing you. And then when I said, God bless you, he was like, whoa, stop everything. Your phone's going crazy. He picks up the phone.

What's that? We need to bless Lulu. I'm on it. And he did it. That's what happened. The blessing was received. You're welcome. Oh, and happy birthday to my brother for today.

Happy birthday. That's my show now. What's your brother's name again? Leon. Ralph. Ralph Brinley. Big shout out to Ralph Brinley today. Maybe we should call him Rief.

You know, I can't believe Rayfe finds has gotten away with it. I've been saying that for years. How does he get away with it? How does he get away with? Because he's so charismatic. I don't know. He just told people. Yeah, it's a raf, actually.

And they weren't like, fuck off. That's Rolf. That's throws them right off, doesn't it? Yeah. You know what I mean? Tries me right off. It does. It's Lourre, actually.

Not Lewis. It's pronounced Lua. Louis. And they're like, oh, God, I'm so sorry. Lever. Lever. It's Leravre. Call me by my real name.

Oh, one thing I didn't tell you guys. I went and saw Dungeon Crawler Carl live. in Cardiff So I'm a fan of the books Peering, you're not, which I understand. And it was at like a glee club, like a comedy club.

What? A glee club. What's a glee club? Cardiff's singing and stuff. I think it's just a comedy. Yeah, it's like chill, they have a stage and you can order drinks and stuff. It's quite nice.

It was fine. And it really reminded me of what we used to do, like back in the day. It was so similar to like when we did the TriForce Live at YogCon. Yeah, that was fun, yeah. That was six years ago, whatever. But I just thought, I just thought we should maybe do it again. I wanted to be interested.

We're older now. That was six years ago. Dude, I'd love to do YogCon. It was so much fun. No, I was just thinking like a one-off. The venue was very sweaty, though. Where we go, we get, we, you know, rent a little stage. Stop, stop.

What? Let's rent a hotel conference. read any of the messages I ever send you guys. Look, I'm serious. Like, do you just go glancing at while you're on the toilet or something? You go, because I said to you guys last year, about halfway through the year, because I've seen other people doing it. I've seen other podcasts do it.

We should look into hiring a theater and doing like a one-off TriForce special in a theater. I think people would fucking love that. No response. I know, but the thing is, it's stressful. What if you don't sell any tickets? We will sell out. We will sell out. I guarantee you we will sell out.

The people want it. I would stake my reputation on it. Not if we do it in Jersey. How many people? Where would we do it though? London. Oh, London. Oh, London Lewis.

He doesn't like London that much. We can find one in Bristol. All right, that way Sips can fly there from Jersey if the airline doesn't go by. doesn't go by. We could do it in London. I can drive down. I'm just put, I'm just, I really had a good time and it was nice being on the other side of it. But it just reminded me of like what we used to do because it wasn't like particularly good. Not that it wasn't, not that it was bad, but it was just very like kind of chill. They were just sort of chatting about the book. They didn't want to really do any spoilers. They just sort of made some jokes.

They played a few silly games. They did a few silly voices. It didn't last very long. It was like an hour and a half or something max. You know, there was like a halfway break where we could get more drinks. Right, we could do a lot better than that. Yeah. Trust me. What, I'm not saying we want to do like a two-hour impersonations for like the whole time. No, I've been thinking about this for a very long time.

Because I know that when it comes to this kind of thing, I was like, I reckon we could absolutely do that. 100% we can do that. And I've thought about all the stuff we could do at the show that would make it fun. You haven't booked it. Why are you looking at? No, I didn't book it because when I suggested it, you guys said fucking nothing. So I thought, well, they're not into it.

And they don't want to shoot me down. So they just said, I'm not going to put it. I don't get the money to book it. It's not that I'm not interested. I just have this policy of letting things sort themselves out. Like if somebody emails me about something, I just don't respond. And I just wait for them to figure it out. I tell you the reason that we haven't done it is because we can barely manage to get this podcast done.

Like this, we are like, so I sent a message saying we don't. have any backed up we need to record tomorrow. But we were already going to anyway. Yeah, we were, no, no. I know, I thought we were already on. We are about to miss an episode. I mean, that's how close we are. Because we're all just so busy.

We don't have time to like. We've got this gold in the bank. We have to organise a live show. So the issue is, I am away next week. I'm going to Birmingham for a day. Oh, God. See, that's why we can't have a live show. It is, no, no, we would book, obviously, if we booked a live theater and did all that,

I would, you know, I would do that, um, no problem. It wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't be a bit, big deal. We should absolutely do it. How long would the show be? Because we could potentially cut it up and get like four or five podcasts out of it. We, we, so you wouldn't want to do it too long because obviously people are sitting there and they can't like turn it off and do something else. Like I've been to a couple of these things where it's a live show of something that was in another format. Like 45 minutes maybe. 45 minutes and then a break and then 45 minutes. Also, the nice thing about doing a live show is that first of all, you don't want to put that out

on the feed because I hate listening to live versions of podcast I listen to. And the second thing is that a lot of people in the audience are not going to know. Like there are a lot of people. There are a lot of partners and friends who'd come along to support their loved one. But that's part of it. So then it's like, then I would find someone in the audience and be like, have you ever listened to the podcast? And they would say no.

And I would bring them up and I'd say, all right, we're going to give you an introduction to the podcast. I'd have a little presentation ready. See, I've thought about all of this, a little white, board presentation explaining it. A lot of in jokes. If you're in, you'll get all these jokes. If you're not, they'll be funny anyway. It's like that. Are you trying to convert people through this? Like, would that be the aim of getting them up? The aim is to do some things. New listeners. It's not just us sitting around talking. That is the key.

Because if you paid for a live show, it should be a live show with things that are there for the live audience. It should not be like a lot of these lazy ass podcasts do. All it is is a free laugh track for them. There's no actual anything for the live audience that's unique, because they're still thinking of it in terms of an audio podcast. The live show is the live show. What can we... It's made for a live audience. It has live audience shit happening. What kind of things could... Like, what could we give like the audience, like maybe like a little like, you know, like a... They'll get a one-off gift, of course. I was thinking it would be something related to one of the things we've said, like the Triforce Jug, for example, that kind

of crap. It could be one of the VHS tapes from my love. A VHS tape. All this kind of crap. I've got so many, like hundreds. I knew a hybrid telephone with vape built into it. We'll give them out for free. I thought about this a lot. It would not just be us sitting there with no idea what we're doing. It would be quite structured because it's a live show. It has to be.

And we would have segments. I would surprise you guys with segments. Because I know neither of you would want anything to do with the production side of the No, but what if you surprised me so much that I just started crying? on stage. I got overwhelmed and I was just like I started crying

but like even worse I was like I want my mommy I was like just like I have no ability to cope whatsoever you had to be there you wouldn't believe it we were there the day Sips broke

he broke down he shit his pants and he was crying for his mummy like a baby great podcast like a stupid little baby you know people don't remember who won you know they remember

the weirdest thing that happened yeah I wonder I wonder I wonder Oh, well, I mean, if you guys think it's a good idea, then, uh, then, uh, we can make it happen. We should run some kind of poll. We should run some kind of poll. Audience research.

That's a thing you do for something like this and be like, who would be interested? Would you like to come and see Triforce live? It could be a whole new angle for the thing. I'm just saying. I think it would be fun. Yeah, it might be fun. Yeah. All right.

Just consider it. Consider it. Well, you sort of know. PFX. I will look into it. I will do all the looking into it. Yes. Yeah.

Great. Because my kids are grown and I don't have a new house. So I have the time. And also, you know, you're the best that do that kind of thing. You're going to butter me up to do all the work. Such an organized guy, like just really good at organizing and planning stuff. Like, nobody does it better. Oh, you guys are too kind.

Organizing. Hey, if you're out there and you work in a theater or you own a theater, get in touch, get in touch. If you got any gaps in the schedule that you're prepared to give away, for free. Give us a call. Give me an email. Yeah, that would be great. Exactly.

All right. All right. Well, that's our poopcast. Yeah, thanks so much for listening as usual. That was fun. Oh, my God, that robot vacuum thing got me going today. That was a fun one. That was funny.

It was a really goofy one. You have to tell me what brand that is because I kind of almost want. I want it. I'll find out from just a moment. If you're in Birmingham, by the time this goes out, the weekend after this episode goes out, which is next Wednesday, it will be the grand final of the Dota 2, ESO 1 in Birmingham. Come up and say hi.

I always meet a lot of TriForce fans. Come and say hi. Apart from the guys we bumped into last night playing Dota, we bumped into a stack, and they were like, oh, my God, real Pflux. I was like, yeah, what's up? Will you be in Birmingham? I said, yes. They said, if we win, can I get a picture with you?

And I said, yes, if you win, you can get a picture. They did not win, so they don't get a picture. They are not allowed a picture. Maybe better luck next time. They were hoping I'd say I'll give you a picture anyway. I'm not going to give those. And they had to print out the end screen of the match showing that we'd won and show me that. That's all that I'll accept.

Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles, you know. Exactly. Fuck around and find out, as they say. Indeed. Fafo. Fafo. Sponsored by Fafo. Fafo brand hovers.

Yeah. All right. Well, thanks so much. See you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. This spring performance auto group invites drivers to upgrade with confidence.

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