Triforce! - The Greatest Cons | Triforce #327

Episode Date: July 30, 2025

Triforce! Episode 327! Pyrion creates a vicious The Platform-esque utopian society for pigeons, shares his story of getting onto the weight loss drug Mounjaro and shares some amazing stories of the greatest con artists! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hick-Ax Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Oh, no, it's good to be here. Yeah, sounds like you had a bad taste in here. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Yeah, yeah. It's great to be here. Yeah. Oh, sounds like you had a bad taste in here. Welcome back to the trifles podcast. Yeah. Yeah. It's great to be here.

I've had an interesting week. Nice. Yeah, I've had an interesting week. I viewed a house and I made an offer. Oh, what kind of house? It's an old house. Was it a was it a was it a like a proper manor or just? No, it's like a miner's cottage old house. Was it a, was it a, was it a like a proper manner or just,

No, it's like a miner's cottage or whatever. Like, of course it was like some cottages from the 1900s that have been combined into one house. Right. It's, it's old and they always, they say, don't buy an old house. That's what they say. That's what they say. Yeah, they do say that. But I've been looking for a year and I was like getting sick of it and I was like, fuck

it. This place looks all right. I've sort of, you know, sometimes you just, these have things happen in your life, you know, I don't know if you've ever been faced with a big decision like buying a new car or something really expensive. And eventually, you know, you're caught, you're cautious for so long that eventually you just get reckless and you're like, fuck it. I don't care anymore. Yeah. Let's just go for this one and deal with it. Sometimes you just got to go for it. You know, you just

got to let your, you got to let your hair down. You got to let your hair loose. Yeah. So I'm a bit worried about a few things, obviously, like it's a bit far away from the center. So I'm like neurotic about whether or not I'm going bit far away from the center. So I'm like neurotic about whether or not I'm going to still come into the office. So I haven't got a car. So then I'm thinking, do I have to get a car? And then I'm thinking I haven't driven for like, you know, 10 years. So am I going to have to have some driving lessons again? And I'm getting neurotic about all of it, basically. And it's freaking me out. But I've just, I'm just going with the flow now. Um, so we'll see what happens. There's just a lot going on. There's a lot of, a lot of things happening, a lot of tasks to do. I've been going through and like, I've

been putting off going to the dentist. You know what I mean? I've like, don't do that. Don't put off going to the dentist. It's like, trust me. There's a bunch of things and it's just like, oh, I'm sort of ticking them off the list, but I'm also kind of like, trust me, there's a bunch of things and it's just like, I'm sort of ticking them off the list, but I'm also kind of like, even like, even like going to the doctor is like, you know, they're like, Oh, you need to see this person. And so I'm like, Oh, okay. Can I book an appointment? They're like, Oh no, you need to see this person.

I'm like, okay. And do you know what I mean? But each of those conversations takes four or five days to get for them to get back to you. Do you know what I mean? So there's constantly like, and I think it's the same, I expect it'd be the same with the house, that you know, it's going to take four or five days for them to get back to me and then I have to do the next thing and then wait on that. And it's just, I guess it's just all these things rumbling in the

background cause this like ground, like low level amount of pressure. Plus all the routine yogs events and stuff like planning future things and um, I dunno, there's some good things we've been planning, um, which probably would have happened by the time this podcast comes out, but we're going to do like a boot sale. Right. Cause it's the um, 16th anniversary, 17th anniversary of Yogg's cast or whatever. 17! You're going to, you're going to like open up, you're going to have a little stall outside

in, in Queen square and you're going gonna sell a bunch of old yog stuff. I'd love to do that actually. Have a little table at a boot sale. Sell like junk. I'd love it especially if it was a regular car boot sale and just people were just like, what do I want with that? It's like, well it happens to be Frostborn the sword. You just rob everybody that enters the building.

I'll give you the floor before it. You got any any of that? And then just sell all their wallets and purses and all the contents. You know, you just get a big collection. I'm selling all these leather wallets. I got tons of them. Like a Papa Lazaroo. Do a bit of a Papa Lazaroo one.

Yeah, do a Papa Lazaroo. Well here's what happens, like, we hold on to so much shit and you must be the same in your place. Oh my God. Like me. I'm like, I don't have any junk. That's definitely true. Yeah. People say we make stuff up on this podcast. My office is completely bare. Other than I

have a very humble table that I made myself with my computer on it. There is nothing else here. He made his computer himself as well. I made myself, with my computer on it, there is nothing else here, no mouse mats. ALICE He made his computer himself as well! Out of wood. He just made some circuitry. ALICE It's like an empty echoey warehouse, your places, I know, I've been there. Sips, honestly, every time I go to your house, I have to tread carefully, because there's

shit everywhere. ALICE There is shit everywhere, I know. I was saying about my garage recently, I have a very narrow pathway to walk from the door of the garage to my computer chair and it's just walls of junk everywhere. Like it's really bad. It's getting worse and worse. A lot of that I remember is like boxes of stuff though. It's like a box for the air fryer, a box for the thing.

Yeah. Like stuff. Cause You sort of also are feeling like you have to keep those in case something goes wrong with it and you have to send it back or something in the box. That's it. I mean, you never know. You never know. That's why you hang on to all the instruction manuals and everything too. Yeah. It's hard to part with that stuff. Especially like a TV box. You're like, oh, well when I move, I'm going to need to put the box TV back in the box, right? Exactly. Yeah. And so you just hold onto vast amounts

of crap. But no, in the office, we've got another problem, which is that the office is like quite small and in a fancy neighborhood. And so as a result, space is at a premium. And yet we hold on to these things because we buy like props and costumes for a shoot, for example. And one of them big example was that remember when we went to Paris Sips we bought you that French costume. We kept that for about five years. Probably 10 years ago when we did the last York's cast boot sale, we auctioned that off for charity and someone bought that for a hundred quid for charity. Wow. God smell it because it was really hot that day in Paris, if you recall.

We didn't give them a warning that it would be rancid with the stench of... Some shitty old sweat. Yeah. But yeah, the back of my mind, I do remember doing this previously and having a good clear up. But the thing is like, you look through this stuff and you're like, Oh, it'd be really nice to clear all this stuff out. And then you look at it and you're like, who would want this? Like, you know, Yeah, listen, just put it out there. Just put it out there. The stuff that doesn't sell,

nobody wants the stuff that sells. No, but it's like, it's like the four broken remote control cars that we used on a shoot one time? Three of them are working fine. One of them only broke when I... Dav gave it to me. I took it home. Me and my eldest were enjoying whizzing it around in the park near us. Let my youngest have a go on it and she drove it straight into a fence and it broke. At high speed. So I'm hoping next time I go down to Bristol, Dav will be able to give me one of the extra remote control cars, but at the same time, I don't care.

Jason Vale Well, the point is that, it's over by the time this podcast goes out, but basically, I like the idea of doing this kind of clear out, but then when we get to it, I'm almost like, who would want this? This doesn't have enough provenance. Jason Vale Provenance. Provenance. Provenance. Thank you for pronouncing that correctly. I wouldn't know what you were saying. Provenance.

It lacks the provenance that it would require. It lacks a certain provenance. Provenance. We. We indeed. Because it's like so tangentially... Excellent. ...associated with the yogs, right? It's so loosely attached that it's... Like me. ...near to be worth it. Like that horrible,

stinky teddy bear that we kicked around. Remember that one that covered his seagull poo? Oh god. So one of those is in the corner of the office. And every single time I come into the office, I do a double take and think someone has slumped it in the corner. Yes, because it looks like a person. It's like sometimes when people have those cardboard standees of like, you know, someone. And it freaks you out for a second because you think it's a real person for a second. So the offices where I go to do Dream League stuff in Sweden, they have a, I don't know,

I think he's a Counter-Strike guy. They have a life-size, like you said, one of those cardboard standup things and people put it in places to freak me out. Cause I, I like, they put it in the toilet and the toilets, we've got these little toilets are dark and you open it, you open the door, you have to turn on the light. And so there's a dude right there. People keep getting me with that. It's not funny. You shouldn't tease.

Honestly, that's the place to put it though, because at least if you shit yourself, like it's right there, you know, you could just clean up. We've got a big life size cardboard cutout of Elvis kicking around still. And we got this for my mother-in-law's 60th birthday. She hates Elvis. She's like 77 now. And so this thing has been kicking around all this time and still to this day scares people because it gets moved around and you walk into it and you're like, wow, Elvis, what are you doing here?

It's constant. It's just, it happens all the time. He looks so happy as well. Not like, you know, not how you remember him. Dead on the toilet. He just looked so vibrant, you know, and happy and racist. Can you imagine if the standee of him was him like kneeling, like in a squatting position, like you know, holding his belly and like crying, you know, holding a hamburger.

That would be a fucking- Yeah, that would be really weird. Yeah. That would be, it's a way to be remembered, isn't it? Yeah. That's a picture. But I think like going through, for example, old shit that you've got, I always think it by head, if someone had thrown this away, or if this had been like, you know, someone had taken this or gotten rid of this, I would have never thought about it again

in my life. Right? Like you find some of this stuff and you're like, I know we do YouTube and stuff and everything we've ever, all the videos, someone's a fan of a little bit like every Pokemon is someone's favourite. Well, not the favourite Minecraft block episode of the trifles podcast. No one's a fan of that. No, well, that's not a fan favourite. Well, sometimes, you know what someone did say? They like, nobody liked that one. Was it a homeless guy that you saw on the street? I really liked the Minecraft blog episode, but after I watched it, my life went downhill. It's never recovered. President Biden. Is that you? I was going to be the president

of the United States. I watched this Gosh dang video about a Minecraft block or something or other. And you know, wait a minute, I'm talking here. Sorry. Favorite block. So president. Cat got Lewis friendly. He's not a good guy. Hey, I've, uh, I've got a couple of bits of flax news.

It's really minor stuff. If you want to hear it. Yeah. Flax news. Sure. Oh minor stuff if you want to hear it. Yeah, Flax News, sure. Oh, yeah, sure. This is a never before heard segment on this podcast. We never have Flax News. I know.

And these are three things that happened to me this week. So it's very self-indulgent, but I just thought it would be funny. First of all, I don't know if you guys know, but I've been feeding the pigeons that land on my office window sill. Yes, I saw a clip on Twitch and I knew it. I don't know if he goes, no, but I've been feeding the pigeons that land on my office window sill. Yes. I saw a clip on Twitch and I knew it. As soon as I saw it, I said, this, he brought this on himself. Because the clip happened and you were sat there playing games or whatever, the pigeons

that you'd be feeding fly in, land on your desk. And this is your fault. Oh no, I agree. I agree. And in fact, it's gotten worse. So what started off, I put some bird seed out for anyone that hasn't been following the story. I put some bird seed out in my windowsill because I really love birds, garden birds and little birds like Robbins and stuff. Sure. I wanted to, they originally began, I wanted to attract some kind of COVID, be it a crow or magpie or whatever. So I wanted to put shiny things out to get them to help me out and bring me presents and food and shiny things. They weren't interested. No.

But when I started putting the seeds out, the pigeons turned up quite quickly. A Mr. and Mrs. Pidgey. They've been there. I've been with them for the whole couple, like couple of months. I've been doing this, feeding them pretty, pretty regularly. When I went away, Mrs. F fed the pigeons for me. Like I've really been maintaining this, get a bag of seed for like two quid from my, one of the shops near me. And it lasts long enough and they're very happy. They're very sweet. Sadly, a lot of other pigeons have caught on because birds look to see where other birds are eating and go and compete with them. So now in the morning I'll come into my office and there'll be one, two or even three pigeons

there. And as soon as I reach for the seed, they fly off and then what? Because they don't want to get grabbed. And when I put my seed out, then they'll all come and compete for it. Now, the problem is the couple, Mr. and Mrs. Pidgey, everything was going fine. And then a big bully Pidgey came along and they were pecking him on the head and trying to get him to leave. He wasn't leaving. He was just he was using his wings to buffet them off the windowsill. So they've given up on the windowsill a lot of the time.

So I've created. Have you seen the film The Platform? No. Have you seen that film? Yes, I have. But please tell everyone this thing. This is a Spanish movie called The Platform. It's about a prison, and it's basically a huge complex of levels. So the 200-something, 250-something levels. Right.

Vertical. Yes, it's a vertical level. Does it have a moat filled with alligators? No, it has. No, it doesn't. No. What it doesn't have, I mean, what it does have is a hole in the middle of every floor. And every day, I think once a day or a couple of times a day, there is a platform that we

don't know how, but it magnetically levitates down. It stops at each floor. And that platform is covered in food. Really fancy high-end food that they make. And it goes down and down and down. And each time it stops, you can eat as much as you like. And then it goes down to the next level. And at the end of every month, you are randomly not, you are knocked out by

this gas and randomly sent to a new floor. And you might be in a good floor. Like in the single digits, you live in like a king. You might be in the two hundreds, in which case, by the time the food gets down to you, there's nothing there. It's a, it's an incredibly unsubtle reference to trickle down economics and, and, you know, the rich getting everything and all the rest. So it's a decent movie.

It's worth watching. But I've recreated that with pigeons. Because now the big pigeon eats the seed on the windowsill. The seed that doesn't make it into his mouth, that his wings knock off, falls down onto the flat roof. And then there's all pigeons down there, scrabbling around for the seeds that King Pidgey deigns to dispose of. Oh my days. So I've realised what I've created here is a social problem for these pigeons. So I've decided to sack the whole thing off and resolve it. This has gone...

I knew this would happen though, right? I kind of like, as soon as you start feeding Mr and Mrs Pidgey, I knew there would be some comeuppance. But here's the thing. It's never... If I'm essentially the government, because I'm the one handing out the seeds in this Pidgey state, King Pidgey will eat directly from my hand, which none of the other Pidgeys will.

So he knows that if he's really nice to me and lets me feed him from my hand, and today he hopped in and sat on my bin and just cooed at me until I gave him pigeons, he's basically, he's like a lobbyist for him. ALICE He's using you. RILEY He is! So I give him the seats and he's like, great. And then all the other pigeons just have to compete down, like, scrabbling around for the rest of... He's the 1% of pigeons. And I, like you said, I created this situation myself, I feel bad. ALICE You've got like Elon Musk of pigeons. Just fucking rich pigeon fucker sat on your

bin. Like, lickingicking the ass of Donald Trump. I know. And I'm Donald Trump having my ass licked. The thing is, I really love animals and when I see their little faces and they they cooing at me and things like that I say well geez you know they're just animals. People are like oh they're just rats with wings. But like look these animals like I always say, these are animals that all these animals have to get by in a world where we have colonised it with buildings and roads and farming and all this stuff that is not for them. Certain animals are able to get by with us and we're still like, no, not you.

I mean, I am not choosy. Also, people are so clueless. If there were rats here, I'd feed the rats. The idea of pigeons being... I would. You can't. You mustn't. I know I mustn't. But I would. You can't. You mustn't. I know I mustn't.

But I would. Birds are very clean. And also, don't forget, pigeons are almost domesticated, in a sense, that we took them and bred them to be, you know, friendlier. And we have caused pigeons, humans. We used to use them as messengers and have them, you know, all over the place. And then we released them back. And we created

pigeons. They are like cats or dogs. They've been domesticated as pets and they're just about surviving because they're so fearless of humans, relatively due to breeding, that they will approach like this and take these risks. Because the majority of humans are actually good to them. And it is those brave animals that survive. And that's how we got dogs in the first place, right? It was the wolves that were brave enough to roam in. Wonderful, wonderful segue, Lulu. To my next thing. He's gonna talk about dogs.

I am. Very well dogs. We do not organize this, it just happens. Okay? So, there's a lot of ... Southwest London... It's like magic when it does happen. It really is. It's beautiful. Um, there's a lot of dogs and dog walkers in this area, Southwest London, a lot of parks, a lot of greenery and all the rest of it. People love dogs. They love dogs. And obviously post COVID dog population really exploded. There's dogs everywhere. Most of them seem to be some form of doodle, whatever. Anyway, the dog walker that I see quite regularly is an American guy and he walks about seven or eight dogs at once, which I don't think you're meant

to do, but he does get away with it, I guess. And he walks in quite near me. Seven or eight dogs at once? Yeah, it's too- He's like a pimp. Why does he have so many? I know. I think he's more like the old man from up in that up, he's going to get yanked off his fucking feet if he's not careful when they see him. Yeah. But yeah, so I saw him, me and my eldest were out for a bike ride the other day, and as we're approaching, it's quite a sort of narrowish sort of bit of path, he sees us coming and

he wants to get the dogs out of the way. Now, if you had a bunch of dogs, some on lead, some on off lead, how are you going to cor the dogs out of the way now If you had a bunch of dogs some on lead someone off lead How are you gonna corral them out of the way of a bicycle with a lot of shouting? and Yeah, just being very hopeful that nothing dies I guess right shouting would be my I would just be shouting quite a bit at that point I don't really know what else to do in that situation I mean, well, he didn't either, apparently, because what he did was

he just spoke to them as if they were kids. He was like, as we come and I see him and he's America. So he's very loud. He's like, OK, guys, we've got a bike coming. Everybody over to this side of the road. I mean, he started naming them all off and but they were all like named after big streamers. All right, excuse me. You're

going to have to get onto the sidewalk. Asmongold you too onto the sidewalk. He said, OK, guys, like they're all going to go. Oh, yes. Sorry. Orders are coming. There's a bicycle coming. He says to the dogs, of course, they just look around because they're dogs. They're not looking at anything. They're just doing dog stuff. He's like, come on, guys, over to the right side of the road. Let this bike pass. I'm like, dude, I'm thinking, how do you think just saying, guys, there's a bike coming is going to get some dogs to do anything? Of course, it didn't. They all just milled about.

He was like, there you go, guys. And I went past. I was tempted to stop and say, you know, they don't speak English. They don't even know what a bicycle or a road is or that guys refers to them collectively. It just really made me laugh. And he was giving this insanely complicated order to adopt to these talks rather than just pushing them over to the side of the road, which is what I would have done. Yeah. Or at least grabbing some dollars.

Stop it in there. Critical stop, stop sniffing around. Um, what's a face's ass. Stop that. Please. Okay guys, there's a bike coming. I'm just obsessed with that. Like the idea of this. Yeah. Yeah.

Pewdiepie, please come over here. I only walk dogs with streamer names. Yeah. Yeah. PewDiePie, please come over here. What? I only walk dogs with streamer names. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh's that going? Well, it works. I'll tell you what, it works almost immediately. Wow. In terms of cutting down your appetite. Obviously I haven't lost any weight yet because it's only been four days. But in terms of how much I want to eat and everything, it's just, you start eating, you fill up way quicker.

I'd say that the amount that I can eat now is less than half of what I was eating as like a main portion before I was on the Manjaro. So it's an injection, is it? It is, yeah. So you order it, it's quite an elaborate pen. And how did you get into this? When you said Manjaro, I thought you were going to say something about climbing Kilimanjaro. I thought you were about to segue into a, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm not getting any younger

and I want to get this off my bucket list. I thought that's where this was going. I see. I thought, yeah, it was the next walk for your group of friends. We're doing Manjaro. No, so it's just the weight loss. No, no, the weight loss. Much later.

Yeah. We're just trying to shed a couple of pounds, you know. That's what we call it for sure. Do you, um, do you, so I didn't, well, this is just me, but I don't, I never thought you were overweight. Is this something your doctor has? No, no, you just, so you know that I was on sertraline for like eight months, the anti-anxiety meds. I put on a bit of weight with that.

I stopped that. I stopped it, um it middle of last month. I gradually weaned myself off it and now I'm off it completely. Feel a lot better. Because it kind of kills any emotions that you have. So you just kind of level all the time. And the problem with that is, you don't really feel anything. So you never get sad or particularly happy.

You're just kind of like, huh, cool. You know, it's like there's nothing. I feel like like a lot of medication anyway, like like, yeah. Brain Valium does that and like most antidepressants obviously do that. And like like like like why? Why does like all prescription medicine seem to do that? Just sort of cuts you off. Essentially what you need.

You get like that. Yeah. If you're suffering from anxiety, your emotions and your concerns and everything are spiraling to the point where you lose control and you have panic attacks and you feel bad all the time. I'm not kidding. When I was on it, I was very chill. Like it was like easy to just be completely chilled. But it also made me I felt hungrier and I ate more and I drank more. And it was just kind of didn't I didn't feel full as much.

And so I just put on a little bit of weight. So I'm the heaviest I've ever been in pounds. I'm just over 14 and a half stone. So that's 200 something. So heavier than you want six foot six, six, six foot six foot. Yeah. So it's like, you know, a little pudgy around the middle and everything like a bit of a dad bod.

So at the well, geez, I'll lose some, some weight, but I went onto the website to order it. You can order it from a whole bunch of places. And when I ordered it, they were like, please enter your details, how tall you are, how old you are, what your weight is, and we'll decide whether Manjaro is right for you. So I put in all the details and it was like, oh no, your BMI and your weight to height and everything are way off. You're fine. We can't give you Manjaro at the moment. In other words, if you edited these details, then we would be able to give you the Manjaro. But as it stands, with this information, which I'm sure it's a typo, at the moment, as it stands, we can't give you Manjaro. So, I had to edit it down, bit at a time, bit at a time. So, I'm now five foot five, and I weigh a little bit more than 14

and a half pounds. Closer to 16. We cannot advise anyone do this. And you shouldn't. What the hell? But then they said, right, now you need to send us a full length body picture of you wearing not baggy clothes. Just like, well, shit, the jig is up. Because if I stand in front of my front door or something with my fridge, they're going to say, this guy's clearly not five foot five.

He could, he could reach the top shelf. So I had to angle my camera and kind of squat a little bit. Processing this application. You're going to have to send us a picture of deep inside your ass. What you're going to have to do, you're going to have to just tear your asshole wide open and hopefully leave your wedding ring on and hopefully somebody can take a picture. Oh man. Ask your wife to. Take a picture of your asshole. What the fuck? So I sent them a picture and they were like no send us another one so I sent them

another one they're like no send us another one so I was like fine so I sent them the best picture I could I really you, when you try to make yourself look thin, where you're sucking in your gut and a lot of that, I did the opposite of that to really make myself look really, and I sort of, I bent my knees very little and made sure there was no shadow. So it looked like I just had shorter legs. Did you go for like the male pregnancy snap? You know, like, No, it has to be face on.

Like a full meal and a couple of cans of cider and then just like don't hold in your gut whatsoever. I know. You look like Bobanders from Trailer Park boys. Randy Boban. So yeah, they finally accepted it. And I was like, some bozo at Manjaro or whatever had to look at these pictures of this man clearly trying to fool the system and just was like, some bozo at Majuro or whatever had to look at these pictures of this man clearly trying to fool the system and just be like, can't accept it.

You know, and they kept saying like, maybe another picture. Because they just want to sell you the Majuro. This isn't a doctor's, it's just some website or whatever. They just need to tick some boxes. If anyone looks into it, it's definitely getting taken away. But it was quite funny. Yeah. Oh my god.

That is terrible, really, that you've managed to trick the system into giving you this thing. Oh, I didn't trick it. Which I'm sure has led to your problematic side effects. I didn't trick the system. They 100% help you trick the system. 100%. I know. They want you to trick it.

The funny thing is it goes in cycles. You're miserable, so you eat. And now you can't eat, and you'll be miserable again in seven months time. You'll be skinny and sad. At least you're jolly now, you're fat, is all I'm saying. Fat and jolly. Like a certain someone. Not that... I'm sure when I see you, P-Flex, I will be... Well, if I'm standing sideways on you, you won't be able to see me. I'll be, I will be, um, well, if I'm, if I'm standing sideways on, you won't be able to see me. I'll be so thin by the time I see everyone's got a little bit of middle-aged spread. You can't

help it. We all get on the jar when we get old, get on the jar room. You know, if you, if you catch me from the right angle, I look like I've got a belly. Can I just say, I think anyone who knows me, so I'm fucking emailing about this. I don't give a fuck. Don't email in about this, please. I do not care. If you have a funny story, go for it. But I don't need another lecture. I've had nothing but lectures on the emails and on YouTube comments lately and I'm fucking done with it.

Stop fucking emailing me. This one Triforce podcast subreddit comment was the tipping point for me. Right. Did anyone else's estimations of period as a person drop off the last episode? Now you could, you could put that after any episode of the podcast because this is a comedy podcast and I happily make fun of myself constantly. But this guy, you know, what do you think his tipping point was? Um, I do something absolutely something about something about the protagonist in a video game or something. Sadly nothing that banal.

Right. What was it? What was it? That I look, on Instagram I follow some ladies with large bosoms. Right. And apparently I'm a family man and this- Well sorry! I didn't realize you were supposed to be the fucking pope.

Apparently I am. Well you're not. Like that is mad. Right, I gotta go. I've wasted my time here. I thought you were the pope. Apparently I am. Jamie, like, that is mad. Right, I gotta go. I've wasted my time here. I thought you were the pope. Fucking hell. But either way, I'm just honestly, if I express an opinion, people are like, he's such a fucking

ignorant cunt, and then they'll express their opinion, and it turns out they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. So honestly, I am done listening to you guys. If I say something you disagree with what I'm doing, just move on. Don't fucking email me and say you really shouldn't do this or actually this, that and the other. Just cause I read it, I've offered you a vent to release your frustrations about something we've said that's wrong or something I've said you disagree with and say, email me. I'm just going to fucking stop reading them because you are pissing me off. End of story. end of rant, let's move on.

Right. I think you're right. It's a nightmare. We don't pretend to be, you know, scions of intellect. We say specifically that we are not! We literally say every time! We do not know! It's just a joke!

We're just chatting! And we learn all of our stuff from Reddit, and quite frankly, a lot of the time, the stuff we read on Reddit is wrong in the first place. And then we only half read it, so then it becomes like half remembered. Do you know how many times someone asks a question on Reddit and there's an answer. The top answer is followed up by a correction to that top answer saying, actually that is incorrect, here is the source. And that person says, oh, really? I didn't know. Why the fuck are

you posting? Don't answer questions if you don't know the fucking answer. Yeah, there is a lot of that. That exists in every sphere now, more so than ever. It's that confidently incorrect, you know, how some people will say something, but just so they're just oozing with confidence that they're so correct, but they couldn't be more wrong about like what they're saying, you know? And it's just, we live in this age now where this misinformation spreads and spreads and spreads. When we're confidently incorrect, but we don't say this is correct. We're not doing it maliciously. We don't know we're wrong. We're not doing it maliciously. Yes!

We don't know we're wrong. No one's coming here for answers. And that just makes us stupid, not like all these lazy... Malicious, yeah! But we can't go through like double checking, I can't ring up a fucking, you know, lorax by every time. You know, remember when you were in high school, anybody, anytime anyone mentioned Marilyn Manson, you would always hear that he had a rib removed so that he could suck his own dick.

Yeah, sure. And that was like, that's looked back on as like, oh my God, like it's different for each generation. Yeah, it is different for each generation. But now in this day and age, it's that but on crack. Like it's it's it's that and it's everything. Like all of these, all of these like myths are just spread and spread and spread like crazy now, but so many people believe them. Whereas like that, that, that was of no consequence, right? If you believe that or not, it was just that it was just like, uh, somebody says Marilyn

Manson, that's your response. You know, Oh, did you hear that? Yeah. But there's loads of those now where it's like really serious stuff that people just have these misinformed stock responses for. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's, it's, it's, it's worse than it's ever been. I guess it's only going to get worse somehow too. But back then, it was just these like, you know, these really innocent urban myths, you know, like they were, they were these things that everybody knew, but

you know, whether it was true or not, it didn't, it didn't matter kind of thing. But now it's just, it's, it's just on that. That whole thing is just, it's out of control now. Like it's, it's everything. It's crazy. But I think Marilyn Manson did have a rib removed. Uh, I actually, I heard that too. Yeah. I heard that too. Yeah.

It's true fact. Apparently people did used to have, some celebrities did used to have ribs removed, but instead it was women having them removed in order to fit into tight dresses or have a tighter waistline. In order to really notch down on that cock. Apparently Cher was subject to that rumour, but never apparently, Cher hired a physician in 1990 to confirm that she actually still has a full set of ribs. So there you go.

Right, well, because people thought that she was... Isn't this the shit that people have to do? She was messing around with their... Quell these rumors. Like, that's what people were angry about in the 90s. Cher had a rib removed! That's what people were angry about. They weren't angry about people fucking, like, hiring an island and filling it full of, you

know, teenage girls to suck them off. You know, that was, it's an old island. It's an old island. A lot of young people live there. You know, you're saying that this is a miners cottage. I'm looking for a miners cottage. Oh my God. Oh fuck.

Oh, that's so good. Don't you dare. That is so good. Oh my God. Oh my God. Lewis has gone full Epstein by in this miners cottage. Yeah. Oh my God.

You know what? If you look at the people who are in the mines, they're all the same. They're all the same. They're all the same. They're all the same. They're all the same. They're all my God. Lewis has gone full Epstein by in this miners cottage. Yeah. Oh my God. I tell you, you know what?

If you look at the P Diddy trial artists impressions, I'm pretty sure I saw you in the background there cheering on the verdict. Yeah. Cheering it on. Let Diddy go. Let Diddy go. That's, uh, that's, that's Lewis's t-shirt. He got, he, he got, uh, let off from like the, the more serious charges. Um, old, old,

uh, yeah, he did. Yeah. He did. Um, I think what he, uh, I think what he is, um, is getting charged with though can potentially have him in jail for up to about 10 years or so. Yeah, but apparently it won't be like apparently it'll be a couple of years. So I think there were five things. The main thing was they had this Rico charge and that is that essentially organized, the implication was that he was part of a criminal enterprise that was organizing these orgies specifically to take advantage of young women

and make money or whatever. So the idea was that they had to prove that this wasn't just him putting on parties and pulling names out of a phone and saying, hey, come over, we're having a freak off. But more that he was part of some criminal, not gang in the sort of mafia sense. Right. But I think the whole point of Rico is that you want to prove that this is a bigger organization than just one guy.

Because if you get that, then you get them on a much bigger charge. You can get other people to assume and all the rest of it. So the difficulty is proving that it's very hard. Apparently they weren't able to do it. There was also one juror apparently who was like hard no on all of this stuff. It was like, he's innocent. He's innocent. Big P Diddy fan, I guess. I wonder if it was mace. It might've been mace. Yeah.

It might've been mace. Um, but yeah, so you just sent him a text every single day after, after the hearing and said more money, more problems. He could have been. Yeah. He became a preacher, by the way. Who? Mace. Mace.

Yeah. Mace got beat up by Ghostface Killer one time as well. Apparently, Ghostface Killer and his crew beat up Mace at a club and nobody heard from Mace for like 10 years. His street cred was decimated. Yeah. Can I show you this picture? Nobody heard from Mace for like 10 years. His street cred was decimated. Yeah. Can I show you this picture?

This is the picture from the... It looks, by the way, like this is done with pastels. It's quite a nice little drawing. I put it in the chat in the Discord. That is a picture of Diddy when the verdict was read out. I can't tell if that's sorrow or joy, but it also looks a bit like maybe this is one of the poses he would frequently take at the freak-offs. It's hard to say. Oh my God. Maybe he'll send this picture

in for with his application for a weight loss, a weight loss drug. See, rejected feet tall and curled up a lot as well. So so hopefully this can straighten me out a little. Yeah, that's quite the artist impression. I have seen these court case pictures of him. They look like they're done with pastels or something. Yeah, that's what I said. Yeah, pastels. It really does look like that. It's really stylized. But yeah, it's quite funny. There was one of him with sort of, with all these guys around him and he's hugging them and stuff, and that was quite funny as well.

Because you could just see his little face peeping out with all these big dudes either embracing him or I don't know what's going on. It's just his worried face peeping out. It was quite funny. So yeah. It is crazy that we still have, like obviously no cameras are allowed in a lot of these courtrooms and so they have to do these artists. It's kind of crazy though that that is like, it's almost like a loophole that hasn't been closed. Right. though that that is like, it's almost like a loophole that hasn't been closed, you know? Yeah. I'm just disappointed it wasn't televised because I guess it's a criminal suit, right? Like it's a criminal case, not a civil case. It's a criminal case. Why was the OJ trial televised

and this wasn't? Was the OJ trial... I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it's the state that they were in? Maybe it's to do with the state or something. Yeah. See, we don't know. We are not saying we know. We don't know. But I do feel like it shouldn't be. I feel like it is kind of... We associate this stuff so much with fiction and these characters. It's so fun though, watching those kind of trials. It becomes like a drama.

I mean, the civil suits are televised, right? Like the Gwyneth Paltrow skiing one, which was fucking amazing. Civil suits? Not often. I don't think so. Because there was a whole bunch of Civil Suits after OJ's big trial, which basically absolutely bankrupted him about a million times over. But there was never even any news about that. It was just like the, it was, it was, it was the, the car chase and the, and the trial obviously was sensational. Uh, and it kind of ushered in the era of 24 hour news as we know it now today. But it like before that it wasn't, there was no news channels on all the time like that. You just had, you know, the six o'clock news or the

10 o'clock news or whatever. And that was it. But this was just on all the time. If you remember the whole car chase trial was just on all the time. It was just like, it just, everybody just was so into it and watching it stuff. But then we, after it was all done, you just never really heard much about it again. And then, but there was loads of civil suits after the criminal trial. Which is crazy because you think the easiest thing to do in a civil suit would just be say, well, he's not guilty and he has the court case to prove it. I find it interesting that they have to

prove it all over again. Well, a lot of the civil suits were, he was releasing books and trying to make money off of books like that one if I did it and stuff. Yeah. And all the all the civil suits basically were to redirect profits back to the families of the victims rather than to him. So he never actually made any money off of it. In terms of its motivation, I completely understand that. What I'm saying is if I mean, this is something I would like, and please, if you're a lawyer or you know a lot about American legal systems or something, that would be an interesting email. I would love to know why is it that they were able to get him in the civil suit

for something that he was found innocent of in criminal court? And what's the difference there? How does it work? Because if I sue you and say, I'm suing you for making money from selling your story about killing my sister or whatever. Yeah. Why is he, you know, he could say, well, I didn't I'm writing about what might have happened. Well, I mean, I think, I think, I mean, he, he, he argued all that as well, but it was, it was just not, how is that? How was it able to go two different ways? Why is it anyway? Let us know if you know, let us know. Yeah, I have no, I have no idea. I'd be interested to know as well, actually. Yeah., let us know if you know it is now. Yeah, I have no idea.

I'd be interested to know as well, actually. Yeah. I don't know if we've we've got enough time. I could just do a couple of these. I did something about famous. These are actually not famous. Maybe just some interesting frauds and hoaxes frauds and hoaxes. Yeah. Do you want to hear a little bit about this yet? God love them. All right.

So do you know the one about the world's littlest skyscraper? No, I've never heard about the world's littlest skyscraper. Okay, so this is the Newby McMahon building, commonly referred to as the world's littlest skyscraper. It's in Texas, in Wichita Falls, Texas. I will send you, I will put a picture of this. If you're listening to this podcast, imagine a four-story building that's quite narrow. That is not a skyscraper, quite clearly.

There it is. That is not a skyscraper quite clearly. There it is. That is not OK. I mean, it does scrape the sky. Well, somewhat. I mean, it looks like, you know, in a fire station, when they have that practice tower thing that they use for training, it looks a bit like one of those, but with some windows, like it really clearly is not a skyscraper.

So what happened was this guy said that he would build it. So the whole point of the swindle was that in the legal documents that listed the building that he was agreeing to build for them for 200,000 pounds was about three and a half million quid. Nowadays, this is 1919. He said he'd build it for them, sign all these documents, he got all this investment capital from these sort of naive investors. He's like, I'm going to build high rise office building right there on which stuff falls. You guys can be a part of it. He's like, I'm going to build high rise office building right there on which stuff falls. You guys can be a part of it. They're like, fuck yeah, let's do that.

So he gets a document, gets them to sign it. It lists the height as four hundred and eighty with two quotation marks for inches as opposed to four hundred and eighty feet, which would be a single quotation mark. They didn't notice they signed the contract. And he never verbally stated that the actual height would be four hundred and eighty feet or one feet or 150 meters. So he built it and they were like, what is this a skyscraper for ants? He was like, well, check the contract.

It went to the law and they said, well, we signed it says 480 inches. Why'd you sign that? So now that's why they have this tiny, teeny tiny little skyscraper. But now of course it's kind of a tourist trap. That is the tiniest. Is this true? Is this like an urban myth? This is true. You should. Okay. That is the tiniest. Is this true? Or is this like an urban? This is true.

Okay. This is true. Only in America. Okay. Uh, I feel, well, this is something that would probably potentially happen in Britain as well. Let's be real here. Um, that it just seems that the whole thing seems so, um, silly. It's just silly.

Isn't it? It is very silly. Yeah. But it was so fun. It's funny. You know, yeah, it's more silly than funny. It also fun. It's funny. Yeah. I'd say it's more silly than funny. It is silly. It's silly. How about this one?

This is the the Hollywood con queen scam. Have you heard about this one? The Hollywood con Hollywood queen. Yeah. So an Indonesian imposter named Hargobind Punjabi Tahir Rahmani. Right. Was running a scam where for years she would get targets in the entertainment industry like gig workers to travel to Indonesia thinking that they were going there to work on a film or production or a TV show or something like that. So she'd approach them.

They'd come out to Jakarta and when they're there, there's a driver, drives them around and she's like, no, no, no, you're going to just have to like get it, get a cab and go to this place. We'll tell you where we need to go. The driver, you will have to pay him. But you know, the driver will take you wherever you need to go. Now there's a lot of traffic in Jakarta and they would make sure that they would time the driving. So it was really busy and they'd keep having a reschedule and the meetings would change and they'd transport them all over to various locations. They'd be paying the driver with the fact that, don't worry, it'll all be covered by the production, it'll all be covered by the production.

And of course they'd eventually realise that it was just... that was the con. You'd trick someone out there and get them to pay this driver over and over and over again, and then eventually they'd give up and go home. It's such a... ALICE What the fuck? RILEY Isn't that a weird... such a weird mine of con. ALICE Yeah.

RILEY So, the perpetrator was actually a bloke who could do a very good impression of a woman's voice. And he would impersonate women in the industry and men in the industry to convince people to come out. I thought it was absolutely fantastic. I love this scam. That is like really quite a complicated sell just to get someone to drive you around and to cause heavy traffic to squeeze money out of you. That is bizarre. Oh my God. So they paid for their flights out to Indonesia, I guess. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Absolutely. Don't worry, law will be reimbursed. And then they just had spending money. And the spending money that they spent on the car,

driving around, all the taxis, driving in circles around the city for days. That was how they made their money. Mad. I mean, there's a lot more to it. If you want to read more about it, it's really funny. But yeah, it's something. And there was more to it. It wasn't just that. It was a lot of other stuff as well. But I thought that detail was funny. So it actually looks like it's targeting mostly gig work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like people who are working on the production. Or a photographer. Yeah, exactly. So it's not stars because they're not going to put up with that shit. It's like people who are just trying to get into the industry or

looking for that job and they're like, Oh, this is good. And you know, it's all fictitious. It's all absolutely. You could have, you could have fallen for this so easily for a Dota event. I literally thought the same thing. I thought, yeah, I could easily have fallen for that. Yeah. Like you've been to one in Jakarta, haven't you? No, I haven't. I've actually never been to any of the Southeast Asian events other than a TI in Singapore. That's it. I Like you've been to one in Jakarta, haven't you? No, I haven't. I've actually never been to any of the Southeast Asian events other than a TI in Singapore. That's it. I thought you'd been to one. But no, like I feel like, I feel like if you'd been asked by a, you know, some woman who purported to be someone and you'd Googled her and she had big tits, you'd be like, oh,

yeah, you'd be sucked in like fully to that. I'd be sucked in. All right, baby. Right into that cleavage. Cut that please. Yeah. My sucked in. All right, baby. Right into that cleavage. Yeah. My estimation of you went down big time. I don't want my estimation to drop any further. My estimation dropped, but my erection grew.

It's all a balance. It's all a big balance. I got one more. Cause this is low. Well, I've got a couple more, but I don't think we've got, maybe we've got time. This is the NickRussiancom. Have you heard of this? The Nick Russian? Yeah. Guy called Nick Russian. No. N-I-K Russian. This was his con. He is,

he was a British guy who was working in Waterstones, just as a shop worker in Waterstones. Right. And he put adverts in big publications, asking people to audition for a year long reality TV show. And the pitch was you could win a hundred thousand pounds. Okay. Uh, you got hundreds of responses. You auditioned some of them on a little Island in, in, uh, the terms called Ravens eight, which is like a little,

30 successful auditionees to take part. Um, but he never told them that no program had actually been commissioned. Right. It hadn't been commissioned. They were just going to either this was a corner who was going to hope for the best. The show would take an entire year. They had to leave their homes, quit their jobs, meet him in London on the 10th of June, and they would be divided into teams of 10.

Their challenge for the next 12 months is to make a million pounds in one year as a group. Right. They suddenly realized that they would be essentially making their own prize money. So what's the point? He's not going to give them 100000 pounds. Yeah. You have a group of 10. If they if they earn a million, they get 100000 pounds each. That's not a prize.

That's just working. That's just working for a year and getting 100000 pounds. And if you do more than any other member in your group, you're actually losing money because you're getting a hundred thousand pounds of a million pound kitty that you may be worked and then two hundred thousand pounds off. So a whole bunch of them quit. Some of them stuck it out and tried to, uh, to see, see it through. And then they eventually realized it was a con. They were sleeping on the floor of like the camera person's house.

Oh no. They'd have to give everything up. They had no money. Of course. Either way, it is a really funny story and I recommend there's a couple of YouTube videos about it but I love this guy's ambitions. Yeah, that's nuts. I don't know if this was a con so much as him because he doesn't make any money from it. Like he's not charging them thousands and thousands of pounds.

He just feels like he wanted to make this show, came up with this idea, realized he had no money and realized that if he got them to earn the prize money, win, win. And then he gets to pocket the money that he gets from making the TV show. So yeah, I guess in his head, he thought if I get like three teams of 10 people to try and make loads of money and set up a business and do this thing. Maybe one of them will make a million pounds if we all work together on something. And then if they make a million pounds, we split it and then everyone will be happy. Right. So he didn't take any money from them, which is why no criminal charges were pressed. He just basically time wasted. He wasted a bunch of their time. One of the participants

did track him down. He was in Richmond. He was living in Richmond at the time, not far from me. But it is really funny and I recommend looking at it. He went into hiding. Yeah, after the programme found he went into hiding. He was originally, his original name was Keith Gillard, which he changed to Jack Lister. And then he changed to Nikita Rushin. Yeah, which is a crazy name. What a crazy name. This guy has got clear, uh, mental problems. Yeah. Um, which, um, which is

worrying though. I just think somebody can come up with this, an idea like this, but then people will go along with it. But I guess if you look back and you think of all the things, like I remember the first time Lewis was like, Oh, you should do YouTube stuff. And I was just like, Oh, okay. I didn't even think about it. But like you could have been, you know, scamming me or wasting my time or anything. Originally you said no. Did I?

You were like, no. And then like six months later you came back to me and you were like, do you think I could still do YouTube stuff? And I was like, yeah. That's called a long call. That's well done. You literally just shut me down the first time I mentioned it. You're just like, nah, it's not for me. I don't remember. Just as well. I came back. I mean, geez, I would have been kicking myself. Imagine?

That would be crazy. Man, that's wild. I watched, I think it was a panorama or something this week. There was one about the pyramid schemes, all the ones that come out of Utah. It's all like the makeup. No, um, it's all like, no, no, it's a, it's just, I don't know what it is about. Um, it, it, it is, it's nothing to do with Mormons. Well, not that I know of anyway,

but they're just hugely popular in that, in that area in Salt Lake city, there there's tons of them, all these big makeup, you know, like, uh, Avon and, uh, whatever all there, there are all these makeup companies that they have all these big makeup, you know, like, uh, Avon and, uh, whatever, all there, all these makeup companies that they have all these seminars and they, you know, they, they try to sell you up, sell you all these products that you will then go and sell and you have to recruit your friends to sell it and stuff. And there's all these people coming back saying I've, I've lost thousands of pounds buying into this. I wasted so much time, it was never going

to work. My garage is full of anime body pillows that I know wants to buy. I don't know anybody who has disposable income for this stuff. Some of the skin serums were like £150 a bottle and stuff. And even if they do, the worst thing about this is that it makes people alienate their friends. Yes. It forces people to try makes people alienate their friends. Yes. Yeah. It forces people to try and like sell shit to their friends. Yeah. And a big part of it is basically like, if your friends aren't buying stuff off you,

it's because they're jealous that you're trying to like improve your life and you should ditch them. Basically, you should just cut them out of your life because they're no good for you. They're toxic. So it's so embarrassing. It's financially and socially ruining people's lives. Yeah. It's horrible. Yeah. It's one of the worst things. So here's something that... And it all comes off the idea of like giving people back their own independence. It's like, you love makeup. Here's a chance for you to be your own boss. Yeah. It's very appealing.

We'll help you do it. and it's all just terrible. So here's an article, this is from the KUER, which is a radio station, I think, and it looks like they've written an article about this, that Utah is twice as, twice as many Ponzi schemes take place in Utah as opposed to anywhere else in the country. Yeah, and so many MLMs as well. Yeah, right, all of those stuff. MLMs, there's tons of them. Yeah, that's the whole thing. So the reason there's so many MLMs, as I heard this, because in Utah, a lot of the wives

still stay at home. Right, yeah. It's still a very traditional place. That could be a big part of it. But another thing is that- That apparently is through Mormonism as well. They want like a work from home business. Yeah, it's like a trad wife stuff.

Yeah, Mormons sort of say, you know, the place for a wife is at home, you know, to look after the home and raise the children and stuff like that. And have as many babies as possible. But then obviously, as with all Mormon stuff, there's a loophole, and the loophole is, you can still work from home. Oh yeah, sorry. Sorry, I thought you were going to talk about soaking. Soaking. Or anal. Right. Yeah. Oh my God.

It's one of those. They're not allowed to do that, are they? Well, God's not looking in the, you know, just soaking in there. It's fine. I've soaked in, it's pretty crazy that if you're going to believe that God is watching you do this, but you're thinking he's going to be like, you got me there. Well done. I'm very still. Let you know, hate the sin, not the sinner. Well done.

You've got this. God is like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. As long as you're not moving. I don't see any movement. I don't know who that is jumping on the bed like that. Very well done. Not sitting. So you can't see through. Well, I can't see through Duve's or she's.

Everyone knows that. My godly visions cannot. I can't see a thing. Jesus. Holy Spirit, can you see anything like this? Nothing, Captain God. So one of the reasons is apparently the whole church of Mormonism builds a very trusting culture, and they're all just very open and sort of quite sweet.

And therefore, they're just like suckers lining up to be conned. Yeah. Florida, number two. I would put that down to meth and idiocy. So you've got very trusting kind of innocent people. And then you've got more. Yeah, you're right. Utah is very trusting, so falls for the cons, but Florida is very scammy and scummy. And so they're doing the cons.

A very stupid state. They love doing the cons. One of the most remarkably stupid places I've been, actually, Florida. If you're from Florida, I do apologize. You guys are just the worst. You hear a lot about Florida. I've known people not from Florida, but who have lived in Florida. And every story is the same. It's just the story of... This crazy guy came in the other day, he was waving a shotgun and a zebra head around.

I couldn't believe it. It's like that. It's a standard and a zebra head around. I couldn't, it was like that is a standard. Talk to Bobes. I've had this conversation with Boba. She's never like, how dare you? She's like, yeah, it's fucked. Florida is fucked. It's awful. Yeah.

I speak to another guy from Florida the other day and he was like, yep, this is a stereotype, so true. It's crazy. Um, but I guess, um, what's, what's the equivalent of Florida in the UK? It's Essex. Um, no, no, no, no, no. Esse UK? No, no, no, no, no. I think it would probably be. I mean, I know that people think of Norfolk as being black.

Black. Yeah, black has got to be a contender at least just pretty sleazy. A lot of those old seaside towns. But I don't know if you have an idea of of what the British Florida is, please let us know. Obviously the problem is Florida is like fucking the size of England or whatever, so it's kind of hard for us to compare places like that. ALICE I mean, but it's more just like the vibe, you know? Like Hillbilly setting cuttles on fire and stuff.

RILEY It's weird, it's weird because Florida has, like, different biomes, like Rimworld, okay? Try to imagine that Florida is a Rimworld map. Right. You've got, at least, the number one biome is jungle. Because anything not on the coast is just teeming with swamps, and it's flat, and there's mosquitoes and gators, and that's it. It's fucking miserable, it's hot, It's humid. It's insect heavy. And it's rotten. On the coast, beautiful. But a lot of that is taken up with rich dickheads

who have private beaches or it's just like the sand just goes on for miles and miles. It kind of actually feels more like a desert than a beach sometimes. And because it's the Atlantic on the East Coast, the water is not warm. It's fucking freezing. And if you go on the other side, the Mexican Gulf side, or sorry, the Gulf of America, if you go on that side, the water is warmer. But it's like from certainly from what Boba told me, it's it's crazy. Like, it's just super crazy there as well.

And then you have Miami, which is insane. It's weird. It's a really weird place. And also because it's got this kind of immigrant community with a lot of people coming from South America and Cuba and stuff like that to southern Florida. But then you have the deep south flavor in North Florida, where you're bordering Georgia and Alabama. Who the fuck? I think they've got an identity crisis and a meth crisis and a mosquito crisis all combined. Yeah, a lot of thunderstorms there too and hurricanes. They got a hurricane crisis.

They got a thunderstorm crisis as well. But dude, the thunderstorms are amazing. Are they? They're every day. They are every day at the same time. It absolutely busted thunderstorms. And it's gone. Yeah. It's really something. I mean, I've sat on the beach and watched a storm come in because you've got nothing.

When you're on the coastal floor, there's no hills. You can see all the weather and it comes right off and you've just got this flat spit of sand that the weather just pummels and then it rolls over. So we watched this storm come in and as it's coming in, you can see it raining before it gets to the shore, and this cloud, we just watched it shrink and disappear in front of us, and all that water just went straight into the ocean, didn't make landfall. But about nine, ten o'clock every night, bam, huge thunderstorm, massive thunderbolts gone. Because it's wet and hot. It's all perfect.

Yeah. Huh. God, there's so many scams on there that I remember like, there was, back in the day it was always things like white vans selling speakers. God, yeah! Did you guys ever get that? White vans? I think I saw it like a few times.

Yeah, so that you'd be on a, like, when I worked in New Malden, I had a van pull up to me a couple of times, different bloke every time, be like, oh, mate, you want to buy some stereo equipment? I'd be like, what? It's like, you want to buy some stereo equipment? So, well, not especially. I think he was going to point me to his shop and he opens up the back of his van. There's all speakers and stereo stuff in there and they try to sell it. I think the scam is it's either stolen or they charge way over the odds, but how am I going to get this home? I didn't come to work with a car.

I took the train to carry a stereo home, like a bit at a time over the course of a week. It was so weird. That is weird. The idea is that speakers are actually incredibly cheap when I took the train to visit a carrier stereo home, like a bit at a time over the course of a week. It was so weird. That is weird. The idea is that speakers are actually incredibly cheap when you look at what's in there. Most speakers you can buy for fuck all. It's just a box. The idea is that, but they can be really expensive.

You could say, if you imply that they're nicked, someone might... I think it's a quite common scam as well, this idea of idea that there's something more valuable, that you're getting something more, if you convince someone into, that they're buying something more valuable than they are. The other one I like is stuff like the one where someone will bump into you and be like, oh, and they'll drop like their glasses or whatever and it'll break. And they'll be like, you broke my glasses. That's because it costs me a hundred dollars to replace. Where is this person from? I just want to know what your go to voice was because it's Rome.

There was a lot going on. Rome. You drop my glasses. And that's a hundred euro. Please. Please. I just feel like I saw the last time I saw a lot of scams going on. It was when I'm. Yeah. I witnessed many scams as well. Well, actually all across Europe, but it's got to be said, it's a lot of scams, major cities in Europe, especially train stations, scams.

There's lots of them. Everybody's looking for a way to earn a buck. You get a lot of them in Paris, a lot of them in Rome. I haven't seen that many scammers in London, but you do get a lot of pickpockets. But certainly when I'm out London, I don't see people coming up and doing the whole, oh, do you want to buy this jewel? Or did you? I think you dropped this bracelet or whatever, you know, all that kind of thing. Yeah. Like actual old school scams that they seem to run in these places.

But in London, I don't know if it's because you haven't got like a dedicated tourist area in London where there's only tourists. Because if you're like, let's say you're on the South Bank and you think at all, scan the tourists here who are on the South Bank and then in the Tate. There's also offices there. People commute there. People walk over the bridge to go to work. Yeah. There's a lot of locals. So it's kind of hard to pick out in Paris.

If you go to the Eiffel Tower, it's easy to find tourists because the only people there are tourists. Yeah. And the same goes for like Rome, go to the Trevi Fountain and that kind of place. It's like these are the tourist hotspots. Whereas in London, I think because the quote unquote tourist stuff is jam packed in amongst other working things, it's kind of hard to single them out maybe?

I don't know. The other thing about these things that always, you know, when you're walking down the street and someone's like, come in, come in to like this place. I'm like never ever going with any of those people into their place. It doesn't work for me. It's almost going to put me off. And the reason is because you hear so many about these, whatever, effectively, just overpricing scams, where basically someone will charge you way too much or something. Or they'll... But that's just tourist shit. I mean, you know that's going to happen.

Exactly. It's just taking advantage of tourists. but I think some of them are more elaborate. They have sometimes, like women will approach you and be like, oh, you know, do you want us to buy us a drink or whatever? And then, you know, they buy something really expensive and then they're like, oh, I don't have any money. I thought you were getting it for me. Only if they have gargantuan breasts. Then I'll fall for this. Then I'll fight for the scam. Don't worry. I'll take the I'll take the hit on this one. I'll take it. I know. But set me.

No, I'm just kind of I think my my opinion of you is dropped as a result of that comment. Wow. You're a married man with children. You're talking about women's breasts. I think it's disgusting. I can talk about men's breasts. Well, if it balances it out, maybe or makes it. My opinion of you is falling down a lot as a result of your comment on men's breasts. I think this is a married man with children.

He's talking about men's breasts. It's disgusting. What the hell am I going to do now? Have you- Is anyone else appalled? I'm appalled. I'm going to start a Reddit thread. A scam called the pigeon drop.

Pigeon drop is a classic. It's depicted in the film The Sting. Yeah, yeah. It involves the mark, or pigeon. It's not actually a pigeon involved, which is sad. No, it's just like, it's the slang term. Luckily, what do you mean sad? You don't want to drop a pigeon.

The pigeon drop is what happens when they knock the seeds off, and they drop down onto my roof and eat them from there. Let's see the trickle. The pigeon drop economics. The one in The Sting, this is a classic. A guy is, he's sort of, he's running from a mugger and he trips and falls. And one of the other guys, all three of these guys are in on the con. The mugger is in on it. The good Samaritan is in on it. The guy falling over is in on it is falling over. The Mark or the pigeon is, they time it just right so that he's there at the same time. So in the movie, this thing, this guy is getting chased by this other

guy. He pulls a knife. They see him off. He runs. And now it's the guy on the ground who's got the money. It's Robert Redford and it's the Mark. And the guy says, please, I've got to get this money across town because I do the drop for this mafia boss. And the guy says, please, I've got to get this money across town because I do the drop for this mafia boss. And this money is for the bookie. It has to be here at this time. And he says, I don't know, pops, I don't want to get messed up with any kind of mafia stuff. The other guy says, if you give me a hundred bucks, he says, I'll give you a hundred bucks if you do it. He's like, geez, I don't know. He's like, yeah, okay, old man. And then Robert Redford says, okay, what you want to do is you want to wrap it up like this and tuck it in your trousers because no one's going to frisky there.

He says, here, give me you better put your wallet in, too. So he gives him his wallet and he wraps it up with the money, shows him the real money, wraps it up in a cloth, tucks it into his trousers, like into the front of his pants and says, like, see? And then he pulls it back out again and hands it to him. Of course, he hasn't handed the money or the wallet to the guy. It's a replacement. Right. So he takes that fake money, gets in a cab and says, I just made the easiest three grand in my life.

Let's get out of here. When he opens it up, it's just paper. So not only have they taken his wallet and everything in it, you know, they've kept their original money. Of course, the setup in this thing is that's a lot more money than they expected. And now they're in trouble because they've robbed the wrong person. Like that's the setup. But the whole idea is it's giving someone the impetus to give you some money for a bigger payoff later on. They do this with a lottery as well, where you pretend that you found a winning lottery, but you're underage or something. So you get someone to say, oh, I think this is last night's lottery ticket and we've won it. And you call up and say, and they say, yes, those are the numbers.

And you've won like 500 bucks. And you say, um, oh geez, only, you know, I, I, if you give me half now, you can cash it and you can, you can take it. And they're like, oh cool, cool. So they give you half of the money that you've won. But of course the lottery ticket is a fake or it's yesterday's numbers. And it's like all these cons to get people to give you money for a bigger payoff later. That's the pigeon drop. Yes. And there's lots of different ways to trick it. It relies largely on people's desperation or greed. It's all greed. Or trust. In a way, people could be like, yeah, we'll split this 50-50. Don't worry here. I'll give you half and I'll get the rest of the money. Like sometimes

people just do trust me. But you have to be convincing, right? You have to take your time. You have to trick them. You have to become friends with them. You have to be convincing, right? You have to take your time, you have to trick them, you have to become friends with them, you have to be like, look, I've got this problem, I've got this lottery ticket that I can't claim because I worked for the lottery at the time, I'm not allowed. Right, exactly. All that kind of stuff. And then you want to let them get that thought in their own mind, which is like, oh, maybe

I could help you out, I could cash it for you. And you'd be like, well, what if you ran off with it? And they'd be like, well, I'll just buy it. I'll just put something down to prove that I'm on par. And before you know it, yeah, like this is, it's so much fun though. It's a great starter for a movie, right? But it does rely on people being in a certain way, right? Like greedy or, you know, desperate or, you know, some other situation leads them into this slightly pseudo crime. Especially if you pick a slightly dodgy person, they think they're getting one over on you. Like that's the best kind of con is where they think they're the ones who are conning

you. And then they realise there's a ton of really good articles and wikis about cons because they're so interesting. And they, a lot of them play on, like, like like like Lewis said greed and stuff some of them just play on people's confusion about how things work or basic faith in other people and a lot of it is like these these scam artists are just brilliant actors really yes they're like very charismatic believable yeah yeah but they don't come across as too believable they just seem forgettable um like one of the common scams you see in London, I guess it's a scam. It feels more like pickpocketing, to be honest with you, is the map scam, where if you see someone at a table in a cafe and they've got their phone out, you go up and you hold a map and you say, sorry, are we on this road?

And when they say, oh, no, you're over here while they're doing that, you just take their phone from under the map, put it in your pocket and say thank you and walk out. And people do that all the time. So that's not a scam so much as a misdirection pickpocket. Yeah. God, I'd hate to get pickpocketed. Oh God, yeah.

It would be so bad. Yeah, I have told my friends it sucks. It's like a constant paranoia of mine as well, but apparently it just happens. You can't fight it. Just fucking, this shit happens. Don't feel bad. Do you remember that in the 80s, I remember a friend of mine got a wallet that was pick pocket proof and it had a tiny switch on it.

It had like a mouse tray. It had like a switch with a bit of sort of a rough side to it. And when you put the wallet in your pocket, if you pulled it out and the switch would be flipped, it would go like beep beep beep beep beep beep. So you'd know, but you knew it was there. So you knew to cover the switch when you took it out and not to trick it. Jesus.

And I thought geez first of all you're 13 you don't have any money no one's gonna pickpocket you for your £3.50 but second of all I don't know if that would work really because pickpockets are very very good they don't just sort of drag it out so that it would hit a pocket it's all they bump into you and and it's in like a flash. If you watch YouTube with a professional pickpocket there, it's so magic. You'd never know. You literally don't feel it. It's crazy. My trick is I just don't have any money. So, you know, I'm always running on empty. So there's the poorest man in Jersey. It's your phone. They're stealing now or whatever, right?

Like it's something different. Did you see, I watched a documentary on Netflix, we've known there for a while, it's called Finding Fenn's Gold. Oh, I've never heard of that. Basically it's about this sort of treasure hunt that this guy set up, this old fella, Forrest Fenn. And basically he hid like a chest with a couple of million quids worth of gold bullion and jewels and stuff in the middle of the Rocky Mountains somewhere. It was kind

of a phenomenon for a while. People were going out treasure hunting and the documentary covers the story of how it all played out. It got a lot of people outside hunting because he wrote a book that had the guides for how to find the treasure and it was all cryptic and where warm waters halt, follow Golden Valley down, whatever. It had a whole cryptic thing. The documentary is quite interesting. It follows a few different groups of people as they tried to decipher it and reading completely different things into it. You've got this group of hillbillies who were honestly hilarious, I thought, and talking about what they were getting up to.

Then you've got this one guy who's trying to build a facial recognition software, some complete asshole, basically, being super awkward about it. Then you've got this old woman who's seducing him and trying to get answers from him by basically cozying up to him. And it's so funny, they're different approaches. One of them's this scientific guy is analysing everything he says and looking at all of his TV appearances and looking at where he lived and the hillbies are just going for it. I guess everyone took their own approaches to it and they were such diverse approaches and very meta, right? A lot of people were

going to his house and stuff. It attracted a lot of crazy people. And the thing about it is that it was this kind of fever at the time. But even today, people still don't believe, it was eventually found, but people didn't believe it. And they refused to believe it. And then they sort of still are hunting for it today. And there's almost this group delusion that they don't want it to be over. Like everything's cryptic, everything's a lie. It's so strange, right? We've always had these treasure hunts and things that I'm sort of quite fascinated with how they play out, you know, and the stories because you know, it's always been a, you know, when we were in the eighties and nineties, right, P-Flex, there were puzzle books that came out and you'd buy the book and it would

have- There was a very famous one in the seventies, I think. It was very large drawings, like just pictures and it would lead to some treasure. I think someone found it. Let me see if I can find- Yeah, there were a series of them and they had like a series of treasures. And the idea was that if you could solve the puzzles in this book and get a solution, it would- And the idea was that the treasure was worth 10 grand. So you had to sell a couple of thousand of these books to make enough money to pay for

the treasure. Right? You see what I mean? So it was kind of a, someone did the maths. Yeah. I think this one is called The Secret, which is a treasure hunt, which is one. But there were, I'm sure there was a more famous one. Yeah. There was a bunch. There was one which had like a chalice and there was a bunch of games that were made as well. Yeah, there were video games where it was a treasure hunt. Also had a treasure hunt in them in the early days. And they're kind of this almost legendary thing. So it's been around for a while. So this one is an American one. But I'm sure there was a famous British one. I'm sure someone will know that the artwork was very odd.

I'm sure it was the seventies or eighties, but listen to this one. Um, the secret was created by a guy called Byron Price. Uh, and he wrote the book in 1982. Um, and the, the boxes, there were these boxes buried at secret locations in cities across the U S and Canada. Um, and he wanted to discover one was entitled to exchange it with price for a precious gem. So he died in 2005

and his estate assumed the responsibility of honoring the terms of the treasure hunt. And as of 2024, only three of the 12 boxes has ever been found. And he kept no record of the exact locations before his death. So it's a possibility they may never be recovered. Geez. Wow.

If you imagine dropping that into a community of treasure seekers, especially like people are going to solve this online, the interesting thing to me would be at what point do the clues get to the stage where people realize they're getting close and stop collaborating? Because you don't want to be the one who is like a thousand people are working to solve these clues. Because if one guy is like, you give him this one bit of information, it's like, oh shit, I've got it. He's not going to share that. He's going to go fucking get the treasure. So you don't want to collaborate too much. But it is interesting.

Well, of course. But also these things were not designed to be hidden for 35 years, right? The landscape changes, like the place has been built over. I'm sure a lot of people have found them and just thrown them away because they're empty treasure chests. They don't know they're attached to this thing or whatever. I think there's tons of these. In a sense, it's similar with the Forrest Fenn thing really that I got the impression that if it hadn't been solved before he died. As an old man, you don't think you're going to die really. You know you're going to die at some point, But you don't think it will be soon or tomorrow. And so, you know, it's not, and sometimes it's sudden, right? You have a heart attack and you

die, right? And you think, Oh, of course this is how it is in the movies. I'm going to have a chance. I'll be on my death bed and then I'll tell my son and he can write down all the things. Do you know what I mean? I'm not going to put it in my safe or anything. I'm not going to put it in my safe or anything. I'm not going to put it here because I'm not going to tell anyone because I've got to keep the secret. Right? And so this is a very common thing that I imagine happens in that this guy didn't trust the people.

He was who he's even his immediate family. Right. Partly because there was this big idea around the forest fencing that his grandson had gone and recovered the treasure. Because there was this idea that the family were being threatened and that people were going out into the wilderness and dying and that he was feeling bad about it. And so he wanted to stop it. And so he told his grandson where the treasure was and his grandson went out and got it. And so it what I mean? And so it was this, this, and no one, everyone couldn't quite believe that it had been solved legitimately. And that part of the reason was because it was sort of solved by this guy who

wanted to remain anonymous. And he didn't want, like he found the treasure, but he didn't want his life to be upended. And so, you know, that caused that anonymous-ness of the finder led to this great deal of disappointment in the rest of the community. Because they were like, oh, someone found it. Who found it? Where exactly was it? Where, how close were we? Just being, and none of that sort of came out, at least not initially. And so it was kind of like, this is the kind of stuff that leads to conspiracy theories. It is. So the one I'm thinking of, by the way, is a 1979 book by a guy called Kit Williams

called Masquerade. And this was the English one. And it was found, the solution and everything is printed. The Sunday Times published an additional clue that Kit Williams created to help. But the scandal was that the winner of the competition in 1988 was found to be a fraud. And essentially, he knew someone who had known Kit Williams, previous girlfriend, and they basically figured something out about roughly where it was and when and found it with metal detectors, not using the clues. So yeah, they just fucking found it. And they submitted this sketch of the location to Kit Williams. And he said, oh yeah, they just fucking found it. And they submitted this sketch of the location to Kit Williams and he said, oh yeah, that's correct.

But of course it was kind of shocking. So yeah, you can read all about that as well. So, I mean, I can understand that, but I also feel like in my view that is the nature of the world we live in, right? And it's, and you know, people are social engineering fucking Forrest Fenn, do you know what I mean? To like get close to access to him, to get extra clues, toenn, do you know what I mean? To get close access to him, to get extra clues, to get extra... Because he would sometimes reply to people's emails.

And so as a result, the whole thing felt like it was a little bit unfair right from the start. It was almost like this is... But I think people want a treasure hunt to be equal and fair. And I think people... I think actually, I hate it that you can social engineer these things, but they are not foolproof. You know, they're made by people and you know, What, what would, so if we did, you know what, here's the thing, Lulu, you've got all this extra Yogg stuff that you're thinking about what to do with. What if you did a treasure hunt for one of the particularly good pieces? You hit it somewhere in Bristol. If we buried like a package of Jaffa cakes.

Yeah. So here's what you do. You get, get it. No, no, not just a packet of Jaffa cakes. I'm talking about something that people might want. Like a piece of yogs. I think people would want a pack of Jaffa cakes though. You can get one of those shop and say you found it. I know. Yeah. The gold play button. There you go. That's worth like a grand. Is it? So you get that.

Ah, probably. Anyway, it's not important. We'll tell the papers it is. So much I paid for it. And then you put clues out. Well, we had to, we had to pay for, well, when they YouTube updated them, they were like, oh, do you want a new play button? And we were like, sure. And they were like, Oh, you got an update. I still got the original one. I got fucking scammed by you. You meant to get one of the hundred K subscribers, right? And then you get one at a million.

Yeah, I got the million. I never got, I never got my hundred K. They never sent it. I got the hundred K was a silver one. We got a silver one. I never got it. I never got it. Never got anything. Go on the rewards page.

You'll be able to get one. You probably have to pay a couple of grand. I got a Twitch one too, like a purple statue. It's still in the box. I haven't even opened it yet. But anyway, you should do that. You should do it. The Yogs treasure hunt and you can embed little clues in the videos and stuff.

And I'm not saying, I'm not saying dig a hole. I'm saying you put it somewhere. We'll think about it. Hide it in Paris, Louis. People on a wild goose chase through Paris? It's all all what it's a really cool idea, but no way. Like looking at how it turned out for these people, it's such a fucking stress for them. No, no, it's easy.

It's just so easy. Easy. I guarantee you, a lot of crazy people who chase you for your rest of your life. It's not that much. It's no, it's a my deathbed in 40 years and some guy will come in disguised as a nurse and be like, oh, do you want me to give you a sponge bath? Also, where's the fucking treasure? Where's the treasure hidden, you bastard?

I'll be like, oh, I'm dying. And I'll die. That's how I fucking will go. So you think people are going to lose their minds about a YouTube play button with zero resellability that is definitely not worth a thousand pounds. They're going to lose their minds. But it's about the Mona Lisa wasn't worth anything until it was stolen. So now you're saying that your play button is the same as the Mona Lisa.

The only reason the Mona Lisa is so famous is because of its provenance. Did somebody say provenance? Did someone say provenance? Did somebody say provenance? Anyway, that's enough of this stupid podcast. I'm just saying, talk to Harry about it. If Harry's on board, do it. Or Sarah.

And if they both go nah, then fuck it, because I'm not going to do it. I'm an ideas guy. This guy's got all the ideas. I tell you what, I have got a thing that's similar to this, so just real quick. There's a guy called Ron Smalec. No there's not. He's a lovely man. Ron Smalec.

If you Google him. Why are you calling him a lovely man? He's a lovely man. Ron, how are you spelling this guy's name? Ron Smalec. No. How are you spelling? Ron.

Yes. S-M-A-L-E-C. Smellick. Ron Smellick. Ron Smellick. He's on X here. He's on IMDB. Writer Minecraft Adventure Maps. Yes.

And then the next one, next Google down is Candle's Quest Treasure Hunt. I'm not seeing this. Can you just link this? For fuck's sake. Oh, I see it now. I see it. It's at the bottom of the page. Here we go.

A Minecraft treasure hunt by Ron Smellick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Called Candle's Quest, which is a treasure hunt. I'm not seeing this. Can you just link this? For fuck's sake. Oh, I see it now. I see it. It's at the bottom of the page. Here we go. A Minecraft treasure by Ron Smalley.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Called Candle's Quest, which is a treasure hunt in Minecraft. It's like Fent finding Fent's treasure. Right. Because he had to go on his server and try and find the treasure. You buy the book and it gives you clues and then you go onto his server, but also the server links you to other servers. Oh, that's quite cool.

And there's like other clues and all sorts of things. And yeah. And so there's, and if you do the, he actually, he actually, um, if you look at the cover, he, he actually is like an artist, like a Bob Ross style artist and he will paint Minecraft scenes in real life on canvas. Very cool. And you can win one of his paintings if you solve the treasure chest. Cause he doesn't have like multi-million dollars. He just has his own little shit going on. And I used to know him back in the day because he would review and make Minecraft adventure maps and we would look at the stuff. Oh, my clean is here. I have to go.

Thanks everyone. Thank you so much. Bye. Check out Royal Spanx Treasure Hunt. Bye.