Triforce! - The Interstellar Lottery | Triforce #345

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

Triforce! Episode 345! What would we spend our lottery winnings on? Lewis is in the midst of continual house panic with surveys and repairs and Pyrion has some very serious questions to ask about Interstellar! Go to http://buyraycon.com/triforceOPEN to get 15% off. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Medcan, live well for life. Medcan.com slash moments to get started. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the TriForce podcast. Today, I'm here, as once again in lovely Rady England. Really selling this podcast. Yes. Fantastic. My lovely friend, Sipsa Pyrin.

How you guys doing? Oh, wow. Great. Oh, man, so I'm doing so good. How are you doing? Oh, so good. Oh, great. You know what I heard somebody say the other day?

Somebody, somebody bumped into somebody that they knew, maybe like work colleagues or whatever. They were in, I think it was the grocery store. And you walk by, he's like, all right, Dave, how's it going? And then Dave turned around. He's like, pretty damn good, actually. I thought, Jesus Christ, like, you don't hear that very often. Pretty damn good. I think the only time I would say pretty damn good, actually, with like kind of like a smug little laugh afterwards was literally if I was holding a,

a lottery ticket where I just won like 10 million and I was kind of bewildered. Like this was fresh information. I'd be like, pretty damn good actually, but that's the only time. I can't think of another time where I would where I bust out a pretty damn good. Like it's a rare one. It's a bit much, isn't it? Like, I don't know. Like I feel like.

I think 99.9% of the time the response is, yeah, not bad. Not bad. Yeah, it could be better, I suppose. Yeah. Take it along. Maintaining. Yeah. Yeah, just take it along, you know how it is.

Yeah, that is the stock response. Yeah. You don't really want an update. Pretty damn good, actually. Pretty damn good actually. Now I'm like, well, fuck me. My life sucks. Dave's having it all.

There's somebody wanted 10 million pound national lottery and they haven't claimed it. Really? And it's, yeah, you've got six months to claim it. Maybe it was him. Maybe it's just like pretty damn good. He's playing a game. He's just like, you know, he knows. He was bought in London.

A ticket was. bought in, I think, Southeast London somewhere. Oh, check you down the sofa, I should have sold. Yeah, yeah. Check your nan's house or wherever else you might store lottery tickets. Exactly. Crazy. Yeah.

So that's just a, oh, that would be nice, wouldn't it? You know, the thing is, to win $10 million. To me, winning $10 million would be amazing. Obviously, there's no doubt about that. But the absolute horror at not realizing you'd won and thinking, God, I could have thrown that ticket out. Like, that would never leave your mind. Yeah.

Like, you have a money and you think, oh, Jesus Christ, I almost lost it all. I almost fucking lost it all. If I just cleared out my room, thrown that old ticket out, I would have thrown away 10 million would never have known. Oh, my God, that would play on my mind forever. If I won 10 million, man, I would invest so heavily into like deregulating a couple of industries. I think I would probably also donate to, uh, to some politicians to try to sway some elections

and stuff as well. Right. people with money are doing nowadays. And I feel like, you know, I don't want to be left out. I want to do the same. So, crypto, mate. I'd push it all into the new whole point. I would join the board of peace, the Gaza board of peace. I'd need a couple of extra millions to join. I'd call it tick coin.

Tick coin. There's always times where you've felt in your life like, oh, I should have invested in this or I should have kept my Apple shares or I should have, you know, I was going to do this and I never did, you know, do you know, do I mean? Like, you, there's kind of, there's constant, that's constant regret, okay, and you will experience it more and more as you get older. But what I, what my little trick, my mental trick to get out of it is, is you know what it's like, if you had, if you had kept that investment, it would have gone down.

Jeremy, if you would, that's the Murphy's law. If you had, if you had, if you had bought the Bitcoin then, it would have crashed and never recovered and you would have then been like, oh, and lost all your money. Jeremy, like, it's, do not think that way. Because the world doesn't play to your fiddle. You know, I think that the world warps itself to the worst situations often. Oh, warped. Always.

So it does. So don't, you know, don't think, oh, I wish I'd done that differently. You know, you'd made those decisions at the time with the best information you had. And if you made them differently, you might have been worse off. I'm one of those guys where, like, I see something. I'm like, man, I got to get in on that early. And I get in on it. And immediately, the minute I touch it.

the whole thing turns to a pilot dust. It just turns to shit in front of my very eyes. What big flops have there been lately? Like huge... Huge flops. I feel like you don't hear about them, right? Because they... Like, you did you invest in Morbius.

Wait, Mrs. F.S. Foulde you about the huge... Oh, the huge... Yeah. The big, the big slapping sound as it hits the table, yeah. Just flops right out. No, I don't know. I can't think of any... Do you know, I'm not a...

I'm not an investing type. Like, I've never really thought, oh, I'm going to buy some stocks or, oh, I'm going to do this, or I'm going to do that, you know, like, I like it. I bought some. Some people. I know, like a bunch of my friends are always talking about buying stocks. Here's what I did. Here's what I did. With my bank, you can just open an account that's just a little investment account.

Yeah. You put money in there and they invest it. So I put a little bit of money in and it's gone up a little bit. And I was like, this is probably better than just sitting it in an account where I got a letter the other day saying, we're going to give you basically three P a year for all the money that you've got in the bank with us, about three, maybe four pence a year, if you're lucky. And I was like, well, fuck me. That's, you know, now you're just holding onto it for me.

That's nothing even in it. That's like, four years and you can buy a fredo. That's amazing. Like, I was like, geez, you know, they're sending me a letter. So, Mr. Forsy, your interest now, we are not interested. The interest level is zero interest. Right. We don't want to give you any money.

Please bank with us. And please give us money for a card that you can use to spend your own money. That's where we're at. So they don't want you to save. But if you put that money... You get to go Henry to spend your eight pence. Exactly. I put it in a little, just a little bit in an investment account.

It's just fun to see it go up. Sure. But that's it. I'm not paying attention. I'm not saying, get me 15 shares of blah, blah. I'm not making that call. I don't fucking know. A couple of my friends are into it for fun, not like big time, you know, but like not, not like,

not pennies either, you know, like some of them have invested like a thousand bucks or something. Right, right. You know, and I think like, you know, if you're doing it because you're interested in it and you just want to see like what you can do, that's fair enough. It's like it's like almost like a hobbyist, you know. Right. But you know, you see sometimes people like, I've lost it all. They've lost like three million.

And you're like, what are you doing? Like, I would kill myself. Wake up in the morning and checking the stomach. How's the market? How's the market? And like every single news story, if you notice, it's all these news stories. This is a recent thing. Just partway to the story, some terrible tragedy.

Ski lift accident in Devon, a thousand killed. We're going now to our financial consultant. Steve, Moneyman. Steve, what's the deal with the markets as a result of this ski lift crash? Well, we've seen a dip in ski-related shares, Tony, so you might want to move your money into Nvidia or something. I was like, why is everything now pitched in relation to how it affects the economy? This vast, nebulous thing that nobody seems to have control over, apart from the extremely

rich people at the top. So don't tell the average person this is what it does to the market. Just fucking tell us. I think the average person is just absolutely flooded with information that doesn't matter to them at all. It's just too much. You know, you get like a big economic analysis and stuff and you just think, well, most people are just like how much are groceries this week. Right.

Yes. How much is milk bread? It's very simple stuff. But they just try to run you around like. It's mad. Run you around the houses with like just way too much info and none of it is useful. And it's just, uh, do you know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of in 1984, they're always giving them updates constantly.

about like how much tractor production has gone up this quarter versus last quarter. It's up 0.4%. And, you know, it's like you're meant to celebrate this fact as if we're part of some collective commercial entity. But really, most people, like you said, whoever's in charge or whatever, their amount of money in their pocket goes up or down. That's pretty much it. And they don't have any control over it.

It's all this nonsense trying to make out like we're actually somehow across all this. The average person is like, yes, I see what this is going to do to the market. We're all mucking in and we're all equal. Yeah. Yeah, it's just silly. I'd say the equivalent is that there's a giant hole in the ground, like a massive hole. And we're all in the hole digging away. And we're basically digging our way down.

We don't know what's down there. At the top of the hole, there's some lads with binoculars who can see what's coming. And they're yelling down into the hole. You won't believe it. It's coming from over the east now. And we're like, oh, but we can't see because we're in this hole. We should have to trust the people with the binoculars. that they're leading this right.

Hey, I've been getting a lot of Instagram ads lately, and I noticed that they all fit into a certain sort of bracket. There's similarities, okay? So an awful lot of these ads seem to be quite a jacked dude. Dude that's clearly in shape, certainly by the sort of internet standards of in shape. You know, he's like, is this the Tai Chi stuff? No, this guy's just super into protein. Ten minutes of Tai Chi a day.

Wakes up at 4 a.m. so he can get a head start on his workouts, that kind of guy. But he's selling you on like a neck brace or a shoulder support or a cushion. Like he's like, hey, guys, if you're tired all day and you're worried about the future of the species on planet Earth, let me tell you about this new knee brace from knee braces are us. Like, I don't know why. They always make out, they'll pick an ailment that everyone has. Like sometimes does your neck sometimes hurt when you wake up? Does your back hurt? Come to think of it.

My neck hurts right now. Exactly. God, like, speaking directly to me. You're like still tired? Like, yes. Because you're like been,

I'm not in a cat. Funnily enough, because I'm like a mole man who sits on a computer all day. How did this happen? I see. So this, this hits both the millennial nerd

group and the old people group. Yes. These ads. It's like everyone is tired all day. That's life. We're all like, God, I'm so tired.

I didn't sleep well. Do you wake up tired? Who are these people that wake up like, pow! Like pee-wee-hermer, their eyes just pop open. They're out of bed. And they've got their toes.

Like that straight into the day. Like, it's the best thing ever. No fucking person does. Everyone wakes up like, oh, Christ, what time is it? Oh, it doesn't matter. I feel like my whole life I'm like Jack D now. Like everything is just like a heavy sigh, a big inconvenience. I've got to wake up.

I got to wake up now. What's my day like? Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah, shit. Yeah. I've lost all pep in my step, I feel like. You know, like I've just...

Well, then you need the new... You need to do 10 minutes of Tai Chi per day. Yeah. Yeah. It's... Inspirational. Yeah. So I just find a lot of these ads.

I just think, why are you making out? Like, that's a problem. People on my stream have been saying recently that they're getting a lot of ads for like women's clothing, like tights and like, like, uh, like spanks and like, uh, whatever they're called, you know, those like, uh, you know, like magic, magic tights or the ones like, uh, the body shaping ones and everything. Right, right, right. And I honestly think it's because I talk about skirts so much in Zomboid because I, because every time there's like a, especially a long skirt, but any skirt, you pick it up because there's a new recipe in Zomboid where you can shorten a

skirt, you get a rag for it and you get tailoring XP. So like if you're out just killing a ton of zombies and you find like 20 skirts, it's just an easy sort of byproduct of then leveling up tailoring so you can patch up holes and stuff like that. Yeah. But because I'm saying skirts so much, I think it's now, you know, thinking that like my content is somehow related to women's clothing. Like I always say like I'm not a pervert either. I'm not just collecting skirts. Like I'm not a weirdo. Like I got a van full of skirts. Bloody dirty skirts. But there's nothing weird about it. Yeah, no. I always say like I hope they don't pull me over because like in the back of my van every time I go out, It's just like 25 bloody dirty skirts and then it's just like 20 broken handles.

I think we've said skirt like 20 times now. So I think it's picking up on me saying the word so much that it's now feeding like, you know, women's fashion ads back to viewers and stuff. I assume that the SPACs ads would be because we're getting to the point where people are realizing their New Year's resolution is not sticking and they're going to have to make out like it is. Just end of January. Get the spanks on.

And you'll be like, yeah, it's feeling great. The New Year's resolution to cut down on red wine in the evenings is playing dividends, but you're actually just lying. Man, the New Year's resolutions, I know this is not really related to New Year's resolutions, but like one of like the biggest beefs I've had so far in 26, and I'm sure a lot of people out there would agree with this, but maybe it's different where you live. In Jersey right now, for some reason, they've decided to do role.

works on every single road. Like, everything is closed. It's insane. And the financial year. Fucking diversions everywhere. And there's like an interactive map that you can look at because we need to park places. We got to drop kids off at school and stuff.

It's the same everywhere. So you look at this interactive map and it comes up and every road is red. Like it's just everything is every fucking thing is closed all at once. And I don't even understand why this time a year is is the time to do it. It's actually yeah. It doesn't matter. It's pouring rain every day. These guys are outside.

They're all bundled up and shit. Like, it's crazy. It's the oldest story when it comes to road works. They have to get it spent or they don't get the budget next year. It's 100% true. So January, they're like, shit, we've only got a few months left. We need to boss you all this money. Either their accounting period actually ends at the end of January.

Like if you have self-assessment, you have to file your tax return where the end of January. If they're on the April tax date, April 1, tax date April 1st. They've got four months. They want to book in as much fucking work as they can spend out the budget so they can go back and say, hey, you can't cut a budget. We needed all that. Look how much we spent last year. That's all it is. Fuck. So everything's closed. Every fucking where. All these car parks, like the really convenient ones are like inaccessible or closed or whatever. So like, so the other day we were dropping, uh, we were picking up our kids and we had to just park randomly in some, some spot, but it wasn't exactly.

clear what the spot was intended for because there's a lot of like residential parking spots. So you have to have like a permit to park there. And some are just like, uh, you, you just need to show a card to say, I'm, I'm just here for like 10 minutes or whatever. And we got this little card from like the, the kid's school that says like, I'm just here for 15 minutes. I'm doing a pickup. Like don't book me or whatever. So we had that thing on and we got booked. We got, we got a parking ticket. And I just thought, fucking hell, man. Like, I'm just trying my best here. Like I'm done doing all the things that they, they want and need me to do and it still just feels like everybody is against you like everything

is stacked against you you like this fucking guy gives me a parking ticket and like the thing is on there saying like I'm just I'm at the school like next door be like 15 minutes and it's just like oh it's crazy it just drives me nuts I know this is a very like dad or maybe boomer thing to complain about but I'm sure a lot of you out there have had similar experiences where it's just like man give me a break. There's got to be some flexibility, right? But the thing is, you know that if you appealed it or tried to appeal it or whatever, it would just go nowhere.

They just waste your time. But this is the thing I was said earlier. Like it is just, things just happen at the worst time. Yeah. When you don't, you know, that's just the way of the world. It's inevitable that, you know, everything's going shit and then something even worse will happen. Yeah. Just to add, what is it?

Something to misery? Add spunk. Yeah. Add some spunk. Get some spunk in there. Put some cum on it. Yeah. It's, uh, what?

I'm just enjoying, I'm moving in next Monday. Oh, is it next Monday? Nice. So are you like fully packed up? Are you ready to go pretty much? Because that's soon. That's like in four days. Yeah, mostly in boxes.

Right. And I think, I think it'll be fine. I've been running back and forth. You're getting the jitters a little bit. You're getting some, are you having some thoughts like, oh, shit, have I made the right decision here? I just need to take the plunge really at this point, I think, and actually be moved in. Because I know a lot of people do the move on the same day, and I've had this, like,

luckily had this buffer period. But I think actually it's been really stressful. Some people were like, didn't even want to listen to the last podcast because it was labeled like Lewis's house anxiety. And they thought they would trigger them everybody. Yeah, no, for sure. Because I think it is such a stressful thing for so many people, a few people had really good stories in there about experiencing similar crazy stresses.

Yeah. It's fun. It's different. It's nice to be doing something a little bit different and a little bit of an experience, but also like just not being able to fix things as well. Like there's this leaky gutter and it's been pouring with rain. And I know that the gutter is like running the water down the side of the house because it's got this whole big streak of brown,

and drawing a mold on the wood and stuff. I'm like, I really want to get up there and get someone up there and fix it. but actually every day at the moment, it's January, is freezing cold and pouring with rain. Yeah. And so it's just not so good spring job. Not the time to fix this thing. Yeah.

And so stuff like that, it's just living rent free in my head. Like a hundred of those, though. You know, like, why does this room smell so bad? What is causing it? Or how do I fix it? Is there damp in the chimney thing? Because they said there was. And is just someone, do I need to get someone up there?

suit. It's funny because like I feel like I know a little bit more about how pipes, wires and all that are run through houses just because we've had a lot of renovation work. But before that, it was just like this mystery, you know, like you're in your house and you look at the walls and you're like, what the fuck is behind there? And you just imagine this like a console from like the Starship Enterprise or something back there with like, you know, lights and buttons and wires everywhere and stuff. But it's actually pretty simple. And like once you know where things are, you can kind of, you know, if you see an issue, you're like, oh, yeah, maybe. No, no, not even so much fiddling around.

But you could kind of, you could kind of just like do a process of elimination on like a lot of things quickly and sort of think, oh, maybe it's that or whatever. But before that. I tried to change a light bulb once and I got electrocuted. What? And I'm flying off the ladder. What was there? What kind of, was it a bayonet cap or was it like a twist on one? Fuck knows what it was.

I shouldn't be fucking around up there, apparently. Because I thought, I'll turn the light off. You know, I'm not going to let electrocued. That doesn't make any fucking difference. Right. Because they're still wired into the mains, right? Yeah, I guess. Like, I fucking, I've done a load of dumb shit in my life.

And I've done with being electrocuted or, like, you know, fucking doing some stupid falling off a ladder. Do I mean? I fell off like a chair the other day. Do I mean? I was like, I can't be shining up the roof, you know, at my age. I just don't trust. myself too. Like, it's funny, though, I tell you what is funny, how I've lived in my current flat for like, what, 10 years or whatever. And you're looking at this new house, the amount

of things you're supposed to have done like every year or something, you know, you're supposed to have the boiler serviced every couple of years. I've never had anyone to look at this boiler. The entire time I've been there. Yeah, but your landlord will have been doing that. No, no one has. Can I give you a tip, and maybe it's something that you haven't thought about, But it's definitely worth having and worth looking into. And you could probably find somebody like local in your area very easily. Get a window cleaner in once a month to do your windows because they're pain and the assid. Joy.

Good children. What are they for? They don't want to go up on ladders either. It turns out. Like every time I'm like, hey, look at this will be fun. And they're like, they start crying. So I can't say them up there. Lower them from above then.

Lower them on a pulley system. Yeah. No, honestly, like, the nice thing is like because you're, you know, if you're working, you're not at home or whatever, they'll just come by, do it and just slip the like the bill through your, you're in your mailbox or whatever. And it's like, I think it's like 15 pound a month or something just to. And it looks so much better to see it. It looks great. Yeah, because you get lots of grime and grease and shit on the outside of your windows. Like if you don't clean them regularly, but if you keep it clean regularly, it's great.

feel, every year you're supposed to sort of have someone shin up the roof and put the tiles back on. You're supposed to have like the gutters. You've got to get like, like, you're supposed to check are so many fucking things. Got to check. If you have a shed outside, you've got to get in there and check it to make sure that mice haven't started breeding like crazy in there and stuff. I mean, no, I'm talking about things that you have to have a man to come around. Oh, right.

Do you mean, not just stuff you can look at yourself. Well, if you open up your shed and there's like a million mice babies in there, I think you need a man for that too. Yes, you're just going in there with boots and I started stomping. I wanted to get them out. It's like there's just so many little things that you need to. Yeah, you're going to keep an eye on the drains. You're supposed to. And the thing is, like, I just haven't ever done this in my life.

And I'm like, one of my friends, I'm not going to name who they are, moved into a house about, I'd say 12 years. years ago now. And they had a survey done, of course. And I was chatting to them the other day. And they were like, yeah, I really need to do some maintenance on my house. It's getting to be a bit, you know, there's a few problems with it. And I was like, oh yeah. And they showed me the survey. And the survey was like, red, red, red, red, like, you'd get this someone up on the roof. And I said, did you ever do that? And then, no. And I was like, did you ever like do this? No. Did you ever, like, do this? No. They've got like the list of things that were wrong with their house when they moved in that they've never had I had to say...

So we had the same thing where we got the survey. I probably still got it somewhere. And it was a thick document. Like the guy put together a proper survey. And he called me up. This is way back when we bought the place I was still working in New Molden. And he called me up at work. And it was like an hour and a half phone call of him just running the house down,

telling me all the shit that was wrong with it. You're going to have to get this fixed, this thing. Things like lead flashing, which is something I'd never thought of before. But it's like, you know, on the roof between the house. the tiles, there'll be this literally a piece of lead that's like flatten out and a hammer down into position. You can get those under windows and stuff too. Right, all that kind of shit.

If there's a crack in it or if it's peeled back, you need to get that replaced because it's like part of the ceiling. Some tiles are loose. If they're out of position, this weatherproofing is this bricks got crack, all of that shit. Like they run through everything. The thing is the surveyor doesn't want to turn up and say, yeah, it looks fine. Because if you say, hang on a minute, your survey didn't mention this blatantly obvious crack in the wall.

I'm going to sue you. So I think they just cover everything as much as possible. And bear in mind, they can only go on stuff that you can basically see. You can't open shit. You can't peel anything? You can't lift anything? It's just, can I see cracks in the fucking wall? It's just, that's it.

I mean, if you're buying a place, if you're in a position where you're just buying a place straight up and you don't need any help from the bank, you know, you're like a straight up a cash buyer, you're not borrowing any more money, whatever. even need to do surveys and stuff like that. It's that's all just for a risk assessment for the bank because they're lending you money against a place. Yeah, they need it. They need it. In case it's like, oh shit, actually this house is going to fall over. And because you'll have insurance and content insurance and everything. It's probably smart to do one anyway, though. Probably is. Yeah, but but the thing is like the the requirements for these change all the time.

So if you bought a house 50 years ago, the survey that would have been done at the time, you know, would have been probably not as comprehensive as a survey done now. They're looking for like different things now because, you know, like especially like things like like asbestos and stuff like that. Whereas years ago they didn't bother. Now they have to look at it because they... Oh, it's fucking everywhere. It needs to be removed because it's so dangerous.

Yeah, if you don't touch it, it's fine. Yeah, but even, but I think like from a risk point of view, they, you know, if you have a survey and they identify it, you have to have it out. touch it. Yeah. Someone's going to think. Because they, well, they touch it though.

They, they, they, because they have to take samples to send it off. So they, they're, they're, they're breaking bits off or drilling into like, you know, whatever to get samples sent off to see if it's got any asbestos in it. So I don't know. And the thing is once you've, once, once you're done with that and you moved in, there's, there's then, um, no requirement for you to do anything. If the survey said you had to do something. you would have had to do it at the time before you moved in. But once you've moved in,

even if there's recommendations on the survey, you just ignore them. Because nobody's going to come by and enforce them. Nobody's going to follow up. Once you're in purchased, it's all signed and gone through everything. They just leave you to it. So you might live there for like 30 years with all of these outstanding things. And then the next survey that comes along is just going to be like, holy shit, you need so much done. It's like, well, yeah, because fucking the two generations of people that lived here before never did anything. Because of it. There was no requirement for them to do it. It was quite amazing when my house to fall over.

That's the thing. Yeah. I think the idea, though, is that a yearly maintenance will save you money in the long run. Oh, God, yeah. But at the same time, like, it adds up, right? It does, yeah. It does. It does.

So don't try and tackle it all at once. No. Pick the most important shit. Yeah. If there's water coming into your house. Yeah, that trumps everything. Handle that. You have to get water fixed.

If there's water escaping. from your house. Handle that. Basically, water is the enemy of the homeowner. Two of the main elements, fire and water are the worst ones.

You've got to handle that shit. Wind can be very bad too. Yeah, but that's everybody. I'd say also earth moving is also bad. It's the element. Harlan's enemy. You can get a lot of foundation

cracking and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Before we continue, this message is sponsored by Raycon with the Super Bowl and the Winter Olympics this month, there's no better time to get inspired, push harder and upgrade your workout routine.

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Byraycon.com slash triforce open. Thanks to Raycon for sponsoring. Oh, go. I got two questions for you. They're both vaguely space related. All right? So I was watching interstellar last night. Great movie.

And it's the scene where they go down to the, planet next to the black hole, the water planet. They don't know it's water. Where time advances very quickly. Exactly. So if you're on the planet, obviously time feels normal relative to where you are. Everyone in orbit is like 30 years have passed or whatever. Like that's what happens.

So it occurred to me, if we ever did figure out faster than light travel with problems with relativity and stuff, you would have to do away with interest on bank accounts because you'd just go off on some black hole mission and come back, and you'd have 200 years of interest on your savings account. Think of all the Fredos you'd have then. You'd be like, I've only been gone two years. I've been gone two years and I've got six pounds in my extra bounds in my... Well, yeah, but also, you'd be a loaf of bread would cost one trillion dollars.

Do you mean? Right, but it would be pretty nuts. It's easy. You just link it to inflation, right? And so that's all, because then it stays the same value. you relatively. In Egypt, ancient Egypt, a bag of silver would buy a house. Probably still does today.

Well, probably not actually. But do you know what? How big a bag? I think it was an ounce of silver should buy a good suit or something like that. And I think, I know, is an ounce of gold by a good suit? I can't remember other stuff, but they do, they do still have like. What fucking world are you living in where we're talking about the value of a suit in terms of how much gold one uses to buy?

Gold or silver. What are you minus? Are you getting minus? Listen, no. if you had done an interstellar and you invested your gold and silver back in Egyptian times and came back today, you'd still have roughly the same value as all I'm saying in terms of what it can buy you in terms of suits and houses and things that we need, right? I'm just, I...

So you think actually, if I put all my money in a high interest bank account, went away to a black hole for two years in my time, came back 150 years of past. It would still be worth the same. It would still be worth the same amount. Right, well, I'm going to put that to the test. This is the average house price, 1950, 1,891 pounds. Nice. Yeah.

So if I had 2,000 pounds back then, let's do inflation calculator on the Bank of England. And what would 2,000 pounds in 1950 be worth in December 2025, 60 grand? Wow. That's 60 grand. So, if I had 60,000 pounds back in 1950, I could have bought a house for it. So that's the average house I could have bought for 60. But in 1950, you could buy a house for like a thousand pounds. No, no, so yes, the average house was 2,000 pounds.

Right. The equivalent to 60,000 today. So who's got 60 grand laying around in 1950, if that, those are the prices. I know that back in the day, like, my dad was telling me his first job paid two grand a year. Yeah. And his first house cost $2,500.500. Yeah. This was in the 60s.

So a year of working and you could buy a house outright. Yeah. Like he got a mortgage. He was like, yeah, here's the house. Here's my wages. And they were like, yeah, cool. We'll say you that house. Here's your mortgage.

And he was like, oh, it costs $2,500. I was like, yeah, but you were earning $2,000. Yeah. Like the average salary in this country is like 28. Yeah. 30, I think. Yeah. What was the, how long was this mortgage for?

It doesn't matter. You could fucking sell it. I mean, you know... Hang on a second. One second. One second. Look, what does a house mean these days? You've just bought a house, mate.

Because in 1950, a house probably meant like a fucking shack with a one, like a toilet. No, it didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It was like a house. Yeah, it was like a house. Probably better proportions than new stuff is built now. Not 1750.

Yeah, exactly. The thing is, though, standards have changed, right? And there is a higher series of requirements of rules. for what a house has to be now. It's got to have a roof, windows and a door, or it's not a house. Oh, but my house would build 1950 when we didn't have any of those things. It was just a block of ice and you had to tunnel into it. Right.

I'm just, yeah, so I don't think that's, what's the other concern about interstellar? Oh, yeah. So here's the other one, right? Moving along. What's the other, what is the other interstellar concern that you have for? This isn't necessarily interstellar, but it did occur to me that there's no aliens at interstellar. They just meet other humans from the future, right? Yeah, sure.

So what if God is real, okay? And humans are the only species in the entire universe. And the reason for that is that this is just one of a number of runs. This is like, we'll run 117, and he's trying out humans to see which is the best. So it's a bit like the whole universe is a giant test for different. species that he drops in. So he's like, let's make one called humans, and this is their characters, and this is their physical characteristics, and this is what kind of thing they are. I'm going to drop them here on this nice planet in the middle of a galaxy here, just at this arm, and we'll let that run

for a few billion years, and we'll see what they make of it. And if we don't get out of the solar system, he's like, right, that's a no, puts a big X next to humans. Next, it's the Glorbonns. Let's put the Glorobons and see how they do. They're going to be an aquatic species. We'll run that for a few billion years. So the Big Bang and all that, the big crunch, everything is just the universe being born. There's a single species gets a free run to see how they do. Then it all crunches down again to reset. And then we just rinse and repeat.

And it's just God running simulations on which would be the most efficient and effective form of life that's possible. Very cool. Yeah, maybe. If true. Yeah. I, this, do you know what? I was always incredibly skeptical of this and largely, still am. What things that I say?

No, the idea that we're in some sort of simulation. It's not a simulation. It's not a simulation. It's real. Sorry, it's a rogue-like run. It's 100% real. It's just the whole the universe did have a beginning and it will have an end. And in the meantime, we've got no indication as anyone out there but us to date. I'm just saying, what if? What if the reason for that is, it's by design. And, you know, whoever's up there pulling the strings is just just figuring it out. I wonder which life form is the best one.

Let's not even the best one. Let's just see how they do. Let's see if any of them gets to the same level that we did of ascending to be able to create and crush universes at will to just run a test. Why not?

Well, again, I genuinely don't think it's possible at all, but... You don't think it's possible. I don't think it's well... He doesn't think it's likely. That's fine. That's fine.

Here's the philosophical thing we physically as a human being only have to go on our senses, which are fairly in terms of technology rudimentary. You know, cameras have better resolution than our eyes do. Databases can store data much better and calculate numbers better. Like they could, you know, speakers can hear better. Everything, all of our senses and stuff. Yeah, but we made all those.

This is a very, I know, but this is a very like, basically we could be very easily tricked by a computer. We could be in the matrix. We could be in the matrix and we could be very easily tricked, okay? Because we don't have, we have such limited, we trust in all of our instruments that we've made to tell us the nature of reality and space and the calculations. We could all just be fed a lie and this could all just be a holodeck. You know, it doesn't have to be real. And it wouldn't take much to fool us, really, technologically. And we can almost, it's almost within our reach right now, right? These, these VR simulations, and the big data processing and all this stuff, you could be on the Truman Show and it wouldn't have to be actors.

It could just be an AI thing, right? And that is a real possibility. You're talking about simulation theory. I'm not talking about simulation theory. But I think that like your thing is a God in a science lab. But equally, your idea is related in a sense that it would need an inordinate amount of processing power to crunch every single atom in the universe, right? No, no, no, no, no atom crunch.

There's no processing power. You just create a universe and a species of one species, drop them onto the best planet you can find for that species, and leave it alone. There's no processing power. There's no vast computer. This is not a simulation. God seeded us.

This is some kind of all-powerful to us. A million years ago. Yeah, they were like, let's just see how this one turns out. Yeah. And they leave shit behind to like fuck with us, like dinosaurs and shit. Well, I also think, though, that, you know, there's the, you know, you see like a factory auto factories building these chips that are incredibly tiny. You know, if you had some space factory chonking out chips, it could very easily create this huge, huge computer. There's nothing to do with computers, mate, mate.

How much clearer to make it, mate. You got a different idea. Yeah, this is a real world thing. He's really stuck on computing here. He just keeps trying to wind about to the Matrix. Just watch the Matrix trilogy for the 15th time this year. I always saw it as sci-fi. I think three's the best.

That's the kind of opinion you'd have. I've never seen three. Don't. It's abysmal. I hear this. Resolutions. Matrix. Resolutions.

Matrix 1080P. The Matrix's zinging from the same hymn. Matrix New Year's resolutions. We live in a simulation, Neil. Have you ever noticed that... Have you ever noticed, Neo, that nobody ever carries out their New Year's resolutions? Whoa. Whoa.

Oh, my New Year's resolution was to learn Kung Fu and I did it. Oh, no, he is the one. He said he was going to learn Kung Fu and he did it. He said he was going to lose five pounds and he did it. And he didn't drink in January. He is the one. The Matrix New Year's resolutions. So, um...

So can I do lose news? Yeah, loose news. Wait, already? So, yeah. Well, I have to go in five minutes. He's got a meeting. He's got a phone call. He's got an important meeting.

I have to end this podcast early. The Bank of England has issued a warning. Right. Which, so the UK apparently has a plan. Right. For a potential crisis that could be triggered if the US confirm that aliens exist. Yeah, I saw this. Fucking ridiculous.

killers. Some minister was like, maybe we should be ready. It's like, shut up. Yeah, maybe we should. What about the stock market? Fuck off. If the aliens turn up, I'm just like, please either conquer us or just to send us. Like, just help us out.

Because they're going to turn up and either go, you guys are fucked and leave, or say, we come in peace, we're going to solve all your problems. Welcome to the galactic community. Or they're going to go, oh, cool, you've got some nickel. We love nickel. Blap and just kill us all. I don't care about what. Some fucking junior minister thinks...

Is that the name of the alien? No, they call the blaps because they blap you. Oh, I see. They're where it comes from. Right in the planet. So she's like, don't worry, Mr. Prime Minister. We've got a plan for what to do about the license fee now that the aliens are here. Fuck off.

Fuck off. This is not about governmental plan. The aliens turn up. The whole of humanity changes regardless of what your stupid plan on the back of a nap. People who write obituaries, right, they prepare them for when. someone have died, so they've got less work to do when they do die. Okay? Yeah.

And it's always annoying when someone young dies, like, I don't know, Timothy Chalamee. No one's written his obituary. Wait, you guys? No, no. Timothy Salome. Not Timmy. Not Timothy Sholomey. What I'm saying is that no one's writing a bit shirley.

Oh, don't tell me that my precious Shalamee has gone away. If he dies, mate, if he dies, that's on you, Lewis. Because we do predict it on this dog. I picked the least likely person to die. I have Shalemay. I'm a big family of Wrault. Please be careful. Be careful.

So Rambu. They want him to do the new Rambu. So, okay. There has been a casting call Go Out for a new Fallout TV show. A new Fallout TV show. They've already. This is going to be called Fallout Shelter. Right.

Where they get, it's like a reality show. where they put contestants in a fallout. Oh, right. Like with one of the themes, the Volt Tech themes for the... And make them do... This is just Big Brother. This isn't a new idea. This is literally Big Brother.

With escalating challenges, strategic dynamics and moral contras. I imagine it's going to be a little bit like that... Big Brother! No! Yes! That's literally what it is! No! It's not like that!

It's going to be a little bit like... I've said it five times. It's literally Big Brother. You're putting him in a... Survivor, but there is a bunker under the ground. This is ridiculous. This is just Big Brother. Do you think they'll have to do tasks?

Kind of. While they're down there? Yeah. Except they've got, they've got like, it's more. They'll be tasks. The better they do the task, the better the reward. What was that stupid show I watched, the Korean one that was like this, but not. I can't remember that.

Anyway, it was quite good. They've beat a few of them. The physical 100. Things live. They did tasks in that one too. But with brain, the brain one, the brain one, the brain one version of that for smarty pants. Anyway, that'll be fun.

The Mentor 100. It's a terrible idea, but I also think it's probably will happen. God, hopefully Mr. B's going to. I accident. Can we just do a 3-2-1 mark very quickly for me? Because I accidentally hit the space bar with my wrist and it caused the recording. Sure. No.

Do you again. Right. We're doing a live remark. Hold on. 3-2-1. Mark. I'm so sorry about that. Keep all that in, editors.

Keep all that in. That's okay. People see behind the scenes. Well, you'll have to move Sipses around. I spent 20 minutes with Razors AI anime girlfriend. Did you? How did it go? I now need a shower.

This is the title of this article. It was first teased last year as like an AI gaming assistant, and it would monitor your gaming performance to provide real-time feedback and coaching. I don't like that. I love that. I need coaching desperately in a lot of games. Nice flashbang, noob. Yeah.

Oh, that would be so funny. Like it calls to the... Looks like your shit about that time. Why don't you use your abilities? When you got your eyes closed? Unplug your steering wheel. It's a shooter game, stupid. Yeah.

It's just all the stuff that Pflex used to say to me when I played Dota. You're still one of the people I played with the most. Use your spells. So bad. I know. It's nuts, isn't it? How long we played together? But yeah, so 2026, it now provides feedback during gaming sessions, but in the form of an anime girl trapped in a cylinder speaker with suggestive and flirty undersetones. What's a cylinder speaker?

It's like one of them Power Rangers faces in the big face in the tube. Like Patrick Moore games model. What's it meant to simulate, like somebody whispering into your ear or something? Yeah, it's really, it sounds creepy and unsettling, and it is. And so this is the worst sort of thing, really. Beautiful. Good tracking. So also in the world of AI, there is a special thing called a vital.

It's like an AI camera that you, it watches you eat. That's weird and it sounds weird. Basically, you point it at your plate, okay, and it tells you, it tracks like, what you're eating and tells you to eat better. Does it tell you like the best mix ratio for like, okay, you need two parts of potato, one part cottage pie and one part broccoli for your... So it analyzes what you ate, how many calories of it, how many nutrients it's got of in it, what it's made of, what you're missing out, what you should eat next,

but also how quickly you ate it, whether you focused on certain items more. So it learns like what kind of things you think. think you like more. Like, I don't know. And it'll tell you like, oh, you didn't eat all of your broccoli. Like it's your mom or something. Why we need these things? I'm mad as hell.

I can say we don't need this at all. This is not something that is needed. And I would like to predict that this is something that will probably never be used as well. I would love to in five years time look back on this and be like, oh my God, I was so wrong. But I still feel like in five years' time I look back and be like, I was right because nobody cares about that. We'll be talking about, here's the thing, right? You know when we first got iPhones or whatever or smartphones and they had everything on, like the calculator and your email in a fax machine and a camera and all that shit? You had like an entire backpack's worth of kit shrunk down into smartphones.

The next generation of smartphones is going to have all of this dumb shit built. in, it's going to be like watching through your eyes and like listening all the time and like remembering all the conversations. And so it's like, you know, you'll talk to someone and you're like, what did my wife say to pick up? And she was like, your wife told you to pick up toilet roll. Do you mean? It'll be, it'll be, it'll be, we, we're going to be like babyfied.

We're just going to be walking around giant babies that are like, try and even, he comes the airplane. Don't forget the end, you saw. Do you mean, it's like, don't forget the end. Is this broadcasting? Don't forget the anews. How do I turn this down? Don't forget the anusol. I got to say, I'm going to use that pronunciation for anusole.

And you're running low on. Lube. It's anusole, isn't it? It's anis. I didn't want to say anus, though. It sounds... I don't like the word anus. It does sound creepy.

I do respect when medicines used to be called what it was for and just stick a couple of letters on the end. Yeah, yeah. Arsol is what they essentially call it. Excuse me, might. Have you got any asshole? Yeah, right there, but... Sourdickolin.

Yeah, where's a sordiculin? I need a big tube of sword dickling. I hurt my dick. You got any thrush it? I've got... Mrs. has got thrush it. That's why I'm buying it. It's called thrush it.

No, no, it's no. It's no. It's not a vaginal. Couldn't call it something. Yeah, vaginal. No, it's vagasil. It's a sill, not an all. Price check on.

Vagicil. What movie was that from? something about Mary or, oh, no, it was me myself and Irene, remember when he goes, Oh, God, yeah. When he, when he, when he, when he, when he, when he, when he, when he, when he, when he, when he I liked that movie. I thought that was actually a pretty good movie. It was a bit mad. Me myself and Irene.

It was funny. Yeah. Go check it out. So I have to stop this podcast. Thank you for. Right. For. Thank you so much.

It's a little bit of a short one. Yeah. I've got. That's what she said. To do. We'll make up for it next time. We love you all and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.