Triforce! - The Lords of Chaos | Triforce #321

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

Triforce! Episode 321! This gaming podcast is NOT for game chat (unless it's Football Manager), Lewis has a full crisis, we discuss the origins of Jean-Guy Tupperware and Flax dabbles in some music lessons! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. hot honey McCrispy today. Available for a limited time only at McDonald's. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecue's lit, but there's nothing to grill. When the in-laws decide that, actually, they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus, enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees exclusions and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the trifles podcast.

Hi, everybody. We're back. My best friends, Sips, Hagen and Ted Edwards. It's a good. Hey, Ted. How are you? Hey, Lewis. I'm good. How's it? How's it going? Yeah, lovely. Um, met a lovely tiny penis have a yesterday.

Nice. He was so polite. He was so lovely and nice. He was like, oh, you know, I've come all the way from New Zealand and I was hoping to see you. I don't think it was coming to, to, um, justice. Yes, of course. Yeah. The holiday.

But, but he was like, so pleased to have bumped into me outside the office. I wonder whether I need to just like have a dedicated time when I go out and hang out side, cause Tom and Harry are smoking outside the office all the time. Right. So anyone who wants to meet them pretty much can just find them, but I just don't want to leave people disappointed. So I was just thinking,

you know, maybe I get a deck chair. I go out there and like, you know, read for a bit for an hour every week. Yeah. Cover all of the visiting tiny penis havers. Um, I don't know if there's enough to warrant that much planning. No, it happens. It happens. So like once a year. It reminds me that I still got it. You still got it. Yeah.

You're tempted to provide a very elaborate solution for something that doesn't really need any, it doesn't need solving. It's true. I suppose that, yeah, take that a step further. It's true. I suppose that, let's just take that a step further. You know, I announced I'm hanging around outside the office for an hour every week. And then no one comes ever. Yeah. Just be more general. Just say you're in Bristol sometimes and you know, and then people can look for you there, which I think they already do kind of, you know, like, like this most recent tiny penis haver. Yeah.

A lot of emails about it, really. Yeah, I get emails saying I'm coming to Bristol hoping to bump into one of the yachts. And you know, Bristol's one of the big, one of the major cities of the UK, I suppose. You put, you put London, Manchester, Liverpool, Newcastle, Glasgow, Edinburgh, and I'm going to put Bristol in there and Leeds, you know, places like that. People come to the UK. Does Bristol really get mentioned alongside those big cities? Should do. It's a big city.

OK, it's a slightly different to does or does not. Right. Like, I think there's a lot of maybe social conditioning that needs to happen before we get to the point where Bristol's being mentioned. Well, I think it's... Bristol is in that second tier. Yeah. Oh, I forgot Birmingham. Sorry, Birmingham. Yeah, yeah. You got your Birminghams, your Manchesters, you know... Bristol is eighth by population. Right. So it goes London, 8.2, 8.3 million. Birmingham, 2.3.

Manchester, 1.7. Liverpool,2, 8.3 million. Birmingham 2.3, Manchester 1.7, Liverpool 800,000, Leeds 750, Sheffield half a mil, Teesside, which is Middlesbrough, et cetera, 480, Bristol 428,000. And then Bournemouth. Bournemouth? Yeah, Bournemouth and Poole. But I think there's actually a million in the total Bristol metropolitan area. And I'm sure that the same with... It in the total Bristol metropolitan area. And I'm sure that the same with- Yes, indeed. For the metropolitan area, it's-

For I think there's a lot more generally, but that doesn't count. They don't count. That's larger urban zone, which is the bit sort of around the outside of it, if you like. London is up to 12.2 from that. I was just thinking about the... We recorded this after the Pope has died. Pope's dead. Which has been going on for a while. Yeah. Sorry to let you break into this.

Why didn't they tell me? There was this, I was laughing because I saw the JD Vance visiting him. His lips trussed all over again, dude. And it was like a make a wish kid, you know, the worst make a wish ever. I, I, I, I dunno, like I felt, I watched Cold Clave again, just to get into it. I said, they're really keen to watch the two popes. So I dunno, it's just a little bit of Pope week here at Shea Brindley. Yeah, I got my little hat. We got our little,

we got a child to abuse. I was thinking about the Catholic church. I guess you was thinking about- A place to celebrate the Catholic Church. I guess you were- I don't know. What did Catholics do? You guys should do a bake sale. A confess. A craft fair. A Tom Moller. A confession. Yeah.

Wear lots of denim. Get your partner a long denim ankle skirt and you can- Hassock. Yeah. Well, so I'll be playing a few games. Oh, we're not going to talk about games, are we? I know we're not supposed to talk about games. Are we? I know we don't supposed to talk about games on this gaming podcast.

It's not a gaming podcast. I've shout out to blueprints because it's been, uh, honestly really enjoyed it. Yeah. Um, have you had a go yet? Sips? No, I haven't gotten around to playing the full version, but I, uh, I, I did, uh, really enjoy my time playing the, the demo, uh, I, I did, uh, really enjoy my time playing the demo. The demo.

Yes. A couple of months ago. And then I was looking forward to the full release. I just, uh, there's, there's, there's lots to play and then there's nothing to play at the same time. Well, there's the oblivion remaster, which everyone is desperate for you to play. Sips.

Um, they want to see the new off good adventures of Sips inips in old school oblivion. Have you played oblivion before? Yes, I played it a long time ago. I don't remember much of it. Well, exactly. I don't remember any of it. But I saw a comment from someone at Blizzard today which said, you can't hold up in the days of modern gaming. And I'm like, how out of touch are you with the world? Like remastered like all of their games already. We're playing supermarket simulator as well. Like we don't need like

I am looking on steam right now. I'm looking at a game called laundry store simulator. Oh, I am enticed. So what does this say about me? I don't know. I don't know. Well exactly. It's, it's, we just want to have a regular, a be a regular Joe Schmo out there, regular chump running a grocery store. Um, you know, earning a living the real, the real way cause we've never done it. Yeah. We've never had to earn a living, you know, by just working for it. God, there's lots of these games now. Green Grocer Simulator 2024 seems like a really good one.

Like the laundry one, supermarket simulator. We've been playing, we played a bunch of supermarket together, which is just basically supermarket simulator, but multiplayer, which is really fun. Tobacco shop simulator. Farm sim with you? Yeah. Yeah. We just started a planet crafter yesterday. None of them had played planet crafter. So I'm a great game. Yeah. They love it, which is, which is great. I was hoping that they would and they do. So it's quite self-contained as well. Like it feels like,

you know, it's like a good, a good, like 10 hour experience. It's a really satisfying numbers go up game, isn't it? Yeah. Nice path to finishing it. Not too vague of a goal. Something like Minecraft and some of our friends always throw up a Minecraft server every now and then and get into it for a couple of weeks. It's fairly goal-less.

I feel like you have to decide what you're going to do. And sometimes that is innately unsatisfying because it sort of tails off as well. When you don't set a point where you're ending, people just slowly drop out. And that's not why you were started in the first place, right? You started to play with a specific group of friends. But yeah yeah, people have been people who've been loving, loving games lately. What are you playing? P flax. He's playing hardware, hardware store simulator. No way. He's been enjoying a game called. Sorry, I'm just going.

I'm just browsing through cues. I was hoping to find another simulator, but it's just it's throwing me up all sorts now. Oh, I thought you were loading up his Steam profile. Football manager. Football manager. Currently in game. Yeah, currently in game. I saw Flats playing football manager.

1006 hours. In the night. Yeah. Okay. And also you played some Mecha Bellum. Yeah, I did, yeah. It's the year 2050, oh no, 2049, sorry, in my football manager save. Right.

And I've had a fascinating career that I've been for the last month. I've been playing football manager on stream and watching Gordon Ramsay and watching whatever else, because when it processes, it's just a bit boring, isn't it? So I stick some else on. We watch YouTube videos. Do you watch the whole game like when you when you do a game? Like, do you watch? I don't watch the whole game. It's highlights.

This whole game is too bloody much like I would still be a lot. Yeah. God knows where I'd be if I if I was doing that. But yeah, it's just the highlights and make adjustments as I need to. And we've won a lot. I started off in Knox County, got fired by them, went to S.C. Ashdod in the Israeli Premier League because I needed a job. I rescued them from relegation. Very nice season. I won a cup with them rescued them from relegation. Very nice.

Next season, I won a cup with them and everything was going great. And in the close season, I said to the board, hey, can I have five thousand pounds to sign a player? And they said, absolutely not. And I said, well, I think it's going to be you either give me that or I'm off. And they said, well, fuck you, leave then. I said, bye. And I left.

And then they immediately signed that player for five thousand pounds with their new manager. So I felt a little bit betrayed. And then I traveled all over the place and I finally settled at Spurs because I wanted immediately signed that player for 5000 pounds with their new manager. So I felt a little bit betrayed. And then I traveled all over the place. And I finally settled at Spurs because I wanted to get into the Premier League and bam, we've been winning it all. Nice. So back to where you came back to London. Yeah. Where you came from.

Yeah. So yeah, been. It's a fun game. Football manager. I had a lot of a lot of a lot of fun playing it. It's very satisfying when stuff works, you know, you start winning like awards and stuff like that's cool. Yeah, for sure. I mean, when when when you're not winning things, very sad. It makes me very sad.

But yeah, yeah, it's one of those games that occasionally nothing works. There's a lot of bullshit in football manager. Sure. Having to talk to your players. So I was talking to this. I was talking to chat about this. I'm pretty sure that the lad that coded or perhaps Miles Jacobs and the head of of SI Games who make football manager, I think. And I say this as someone with an autistic child.

I think he may be autistic. And I think he was the one who came up with and designed the player interactions. I'll give you an example. A player comes to you and says, I'm not playing enough games. I want to play more games. You can't say to them, can you just have some patience? It's a long season. You have to say to them things like the best result you can get here is to say,

oh, I better sell you then. And then they'll say, oh, no, no, no, don't sell me. I'll shut up. But if you say, if you try to actually negotiate with them, they get all pissy. And the funniest thing is sometimes you can go to them and praise them on their training. And you can say you've been training really well and it offers you four options. You can no gesture whatsoever. You can shake their hand.

You could put your hand on their shoulder or you can put an arm around them. And each of these decisions changes very subtly how they respond. But sometimes hand on shoulder and shake hand have like different effects. And sometimes you'll say to them, I think you've been training really well. And they'll say, I disagree. Okay. And they say, well, this hasn't gone well at all. And at the end of the conversation, a summary is, has lost respect for you, or is very...

They're like, I'm not pleased with the way you handled this. What the fuck is this Mass Effect level shit? It's bonkers, dude. Stephen Girard didn't like that. Yeah, literally. You can rent out your players to other teams, though, right? Wouldn't they get paid time that way? Yeah, so that's one of the the options is you can loan them out.

But a lot of the time you're like, well... Wayne Rooney has asked you out on a date. It's literally the player interactions are so badly coded. It's so randomly sort of done. And how they respond to things. It obviously is a new feature that they've got. And again, you can understand that these things are like so quickly made. The poor team at Sports Interactive have these deadlines to hit for the next one and they're all worked to the grindstone, you can tell.

They are fucked. They were meant to release a game last year. Yeah, we talked about them I think before. They're fucked, anyway. So yeah, we've been playing that. So is that not... Is there not another one coming out ever now or has it just been delayed? Apparently there is.

Apparently there is. They'll get there. I mean they're owned by Sega so they'll crack the whip and it's only a matter of time, right? It's on a new engine though. I mean it's going to be a disaster. I really think that it's going to be a disaster. I'm very worried. Because this is my favourite game series ever.

There's been way better... I've had way more fun with FM than I have with multiple Civ games I've just been disappointed by. ALICE Well this is it. I think it's one of those games that actually has this huge following for so long as well. And definitely more grown up gamers too, right? SEAN Oh yeah. I've been playing this game for 30 years in various incarnations. ALICE Geez!

SEAN I think the first time I played it was around my friend's house when I was about ten. It's crazy. Are you still playing Dota Flax? Just like, off and on? Yeah, I played last night. Oh my god. People, new games kept coming out, and the lads I play with, you know, Joe and those boys are the lads I like to play with, and people like Paul and so on. DAV, Oblivion came out, this new Oblivion remastered thing.

So they were all doing that. And half of them were like, just going to go play that. And before that it was some Monster Hunter thing. And before that it was something else. And Xylus constantly disappears to go play Path of Exile. So sometimes it's hard to get a stack. People are taking a break or whatever. And look, I play with viewers quite often.

I used to morning stacks with, I'd boot up, get lads in for the morning stacks and we'd play some Dotes. But, and I don't mean any hate to the lads here, cause I don't mind if they're bad at Dotes. I'm bad at Dotes. Oh God, prepare yourself lads. No, no, no, no. I'm just saying. He's about to throw you onto that bus. No, no, no, no. I'm not going to throw you onto that bus. I'm not. I'm just going to say that one of the issues with playing with just subscribers and viewers and stuff is that a lot of them are just quiet people because you know, they're

just, they're like me, they're nerds. So I get on the stream, I've got a stack of five people and no one's talking and there's no sort of bants or it just becomes like solo Dota because everyone's so quiet or they talk too much and it's like, geez, this guy needs to shut up. So sometimes people on stream get a bit sort of nervous or they're just like very, very, you know, they just out of habit, they just chat because I don't know them. I can't say like, dude, can you shut up? You know, yeah.

Whereas sometimes we'll play with Paul and Paul's just going blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we're like, Paul, can you take a break please from the app? And I just think it's kind of, uh, I, I deal with this stuff sometimes and I, it makes me feel awful. Like, like for example, sometimes we record, um, some blood on the clock tower or whatever, like we were doing yesterday. And I just needed everyone to shut up And I'm there like yelling, like, shut the fuck up. Like silence, silence, like stop talking. It's like, like, like always get angry.

You will be quiet right now. Because like, because otherwise they're going to spoil the game. And it's like, I'm like, have you ever just tried to shush? Have you ever tried? Shush, shush, shush. Stop. But the thing is, because they're all, they're all passionate, right? And arguing they're like mid flow and they're all into the game as well. Like, and that's what we want, right? We want to create this game for them. But I'm also doing this thing

where like, you know, I want, I want them to showboat as well up to a point. But like, for example, you know, if someone's cause sometimes at the end of the game, you don't know whether you've won or lost, right? And so sometimes it's better for that reveal to come dramatically from me, rather than someone just being like, just someone upset saying, well, I've lost. You don't mean I'm doing a little spoiler, right? For everyone. So it's more gripping if I can do it. And so sometimes I really have to be like, stop. And the thing is I found myself becoming less and less tolerant. I guess I could be more chill and not care and let it just play out. And there's ways around it. But I think like, every time after the recording, even for like, even today,, we recorded yesterday, and even today I woke

up and I was like, oh my God, I feel so bad at yelling at everyone to shut up. But there's kind of a meme around me telling people to shut up in these recordings. And it's because I have to, I've spoken about this before, but I feel like I have to be there as a director. In TV and movies, you have a director who comes in and is the Gordon Ramsay and is shouting at people to stop doing something or to do something. Just to actually make sure the whole thing comes together as a complete product and isn't just a haphazard, random goofing around. And I think we don't have anyone else who does that. It's just me and the seven guys that we're playing with, and Nick. And Nick's not there to direct it. He's there

to run the server and make people visible and do all that crap. So I'm there having to make these... I don't know. It's sometimes hard to get that right in your head. It's the same thing on this podcast sometimes. It's just one of us will be like, maybe we should make that joke or maybe we should cut that bit. Very little that happens, but it's hard to have fun and chill at the same time as make make something a series call. Yeah. And it was like, I just feel I just feel like there is a difference between just hanging out and playing games with your mates and trying to make content.

Yeah. Like streaming or videos or anything. It is fundamentally different. And I think some people think that when we're streaming or we're recording stuff that is just everybody is just goofing around and it just happens to be a good vid. But it's not. You need direction and you need the right people and good combinations of people for it to be fun to watch and entertaining. And I mean, I stream for when I'm when I'm in the zone, I'll stream for like hours and hours and hours a day and just chill out. But it's good to have fun people and you know, people that are sort of good to play with. They're

fun to play with. They're chatty. I've played with them for years. I know them, et cetera. And playing with strangers is tough. Just like if we did a Blood on the Clock Tower recording where none of us had ever met before, that would be really hard to do. It would be really awkward. Yeah. And I feel like maybe people don't understand that side of it. I think when people have put a lot of time, as well as this people's job, it's people's time that people are coming along to do these recordings and they, they, you know, we want to get videos out of it. We've got eight people together or whatever. It's a faff. And I think

it's not that it's not close to playing games with your friends. It is. And streaming even closer. I think streaming is, you know, you're doing it for a long time. You can't be hyper excitable and full of energy. And it's not like we're faking it either. It's more that when you're playing stuff on your own, I will sometimes sit there in silence for half an hour with four friends. You know, none of us are saying anything for 15 minutes. And I think when you're streaming or something, you're doing a little bit more. It's not like you're doing the same. You're a little bit more than you would be if you weren't streaming. I think you're the same sips. I've seen moments in your streams where you don't say anything for five

minutes, but I think that's usually other... It's usually something interesting is going on and you know in the back of your mind that you're doing it on purpose or something, right? Maybe. Sometimes I just forget that I'm streaming and I just not say anything and just be playing. I get pretty immersed, but I like it though. I mean, I just want, I just, I still really like playing games. You stream in your garage usually and that's kind of a work area. You're almost like a slightly exaggerated person when you're in that area. We talk about this all the time. We can't help it. Sorry.

No. It just goes to the front of my mind. And I know it's like- It's a big part of our lives. It's funny what my anxieties are. Cause you know, I'll say to someone afterwards like, oh, you know, sorry about this. And they'll be like, oh, well, you should be sorry about this. I'll be like, oh, fuck yeah. That's actually a good point. When I was like, you know, something else like that I'd done that I'd forgotten about that I just charged through and didn't care about. I'm worried about the thing that I remember and I'm paranoid that people are hating me

for it. They're hating me for something entirely different. I just hate you. Yeah, it's a weird one. I think it's like, you can look into it too much too. I think ultimately, if you were just sitting around playing a game with your friends, like we were talking about, you wouldn't be as aware of all those things. You know what I mean?

You would just be like, you would just act the way you always act and the people you play with would just act the way that they always act. And then, you know, you're pretty much getting the same sort of experience, right? And then people have bad days and whatnot like that. That of course happens too, but I don't know. I don't think you need to be over, uh, I don't think you need to like analyze it to death. I don't think you really need to apologize too much for being yourself unless you're being a racist or something. You know,

I do think this happens to some extent in my real life too, right? Where I played like board games with Russ or whatever. You just can't stop being racist. I get it. And he is- Wait, wait, Russ. Not racist, Russ. No, a lovely Russ.

Sorry, Russ. I'm just fucking with you, bud. Don't know yet. He's awesome. Oh, a lovely Russ. Sorry Russ, I'm just fucking with you. He's awesome. And I think sometimes he must think I'm some sort of dual personality, right? Because when it's just like me and him, I'm like super chill, super relaxed, like kind of a bit grumpy almost. And I, you know, he's like quite a close friend of mine.

So I'll tell him stuff. I just, I was complaining to him. As soon as the lights on the cameras are around, all of a sudden Mr. Razzle Dazzle appears. Like, you know, as soon as there's someone new that we have met before, I'm all like, making jokes. I'm all interesting. I think we all do this to some extent, right? It's not just me being crazy thinking that I have a split personality. Here's what I think it is. The job, and this is obviously our job, this is not our job

but our living certainly, is that people are aware of the whole parasocial thing that comes from streaming and content creation. Because if you go to a movie, someone's playing a character, or if you watch a TV show, someone's playing a character and you can be a fan of those things. But there's the disconnect is you're just seeing those people on a screen and it's all rehearsed and blah, blah, blah. But when you watch like streamers and YouTubers like us, we're sort of at work, even though it seems like we're just having a laugh. We are all understand what we're creating something that has to be a certain way. And we know what works,

we know what doesn't. And it's kind of a different mindset to. I think when it comes to consuming that content, people sometimes get their brain gets tricked into thinking that we're we're mates with them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. The whole parasocial thing is they expect us to be that person all the time. And they sort of, it's just weird. It's a much more intimate relationship with your audience than I think pretty much anything else you could do.

Yeah. Stand up comedians are up on a stage. The audience is down in the dark. TV movies, you never see them. Theater, again, you're up on a stage. They're down in the dark. But when you are a streamer or something, you're actually interacting with your viewers. They're talking to you in real time and you have to cope with that. So I just feel like when it comes to the job that we do, I don't think

sometimes the audience thinks it's like, for instance, like me just saying that playing games with my viewers is kind of difficult sometimes, they might think of that as an insult. And I hope they don't take it that way. What I'm saying is that it just makes the stream shitter if the people that I'm playing with are just quiet or have a terrible microphone. It's a weird balance, isn't it? I think when you play with people regularly, like we do a podcast regularly, or if you play games with people regularly, you get

into this nice kind of groove with it where I feel like the more you know somebody and the more you do stuff with somebody, you give them space to do their thing. And likewise, they give you space to do your thing. Like certain people will want to do like, you know, one certain mechanic of a game or whatever, but everybody knows that that's their thing and they just leave them to it sort of thing. Yeah. And it's like, it's nice to get to that point. And I think it takes a while to get to that point.

You know, I think. Yeah. I mean, that's like, I've always had like groups of people that I think, okay, this lad's actually good to play games with on the street. Yeah. Because he's a laugh. He's got a sense of humor. He doesn't just talk constantly. He's not just someone who never speaks as a working microphone.

It's quite a big thing because some people come on, they're like, we like, sorry, what was that? Yeah. Oh, there's like just a hiss in the background. Oh, you know that this guy's computer crashes every game at least once. I mean, I get it. It's frustrating for me, but it's also frustrating for someone watching it. They're going to be like, this sucks. I find this person annoying. So it is tough to play Dota if you haven't got that sort of hand-picked stack. And I'm sure it's true for any game. Like when I play Tarkov, sometimes when we play in a stack with like viewers,

we get in the discord and everything. But some of them would be like, yeah, I'll be there in a sec. I've just got to sort this out. And you waiting for like 20 minutes to start queuing for a raid because they've got to buy this armor. They've got to buy this ammo. And you're like, dude, can you not just grab anything like, you know what I mean? They're just you can can play the PV one is like instant cues though.

Dude, that's what I've been playing. This is how I got you two involved in the first place really, because I saw, met you or knew you or spoke to you in some way. And I was like, these are interesting, funny people that I like hanging out with and I want to be friends with. Thank you. Well, thank you so much. with and I want to be friends with. Wow, thank you. Please be my friends. When are we going to be friends, do you think? We're still waiting. I'm not having a crisis or anything. I'm not having a crisis.

At least I don't think I am. We're all, there's this famous quotation, which is very bogus, from someone I can't remember who said, you are the combination of the five people you spend the most time with. It's a popular saying, implying that when you think about it, obviously, maybe it was true once. I think these days, and we know that we are influenced by all sorts of people. I'm influenced by some of the people I admire from real life or from the internet. I'm sure I'm a blend of the YouTubers I watch the most and some of these people I'm a big fan of and some people I admire. We

can't help it, but we want to blend in. That's how accents got started. That's why people unconsciously mimic the way other people laugh and talk and act. You can't control it. It's part of your animal brain to fit in and want to be part of something. The easiest way to show that you like someone is to mimic what they're doing, in a sense. It's a classic thing. We are all chameleons, effectively, able to try and... When you go to a job interview, you're going to be polite when you're going to something else. You're going to behave a certain way. It can't help it. else, you're going to behave a certain way. It can't help it, right? That doesn't mean you're being fake or you're lying about who you are. You maybe think, well, I'm secretly a grumpy, miserable bitch, but I can pretend to be a happy person. In some ways, the mask you wear,

if you wear that a lot, you become the mask you wear, if you wear that, you know, a lot, you become that person. I think looking back at old YouTube videos, me like with a strong Essex accent, I don't know when I lost it. I didn't try it. There was never a moment where I thought I need to train out this accent or, or, you know, or it just happened. Right.

I obviously subconsciously spent time around people who didn't speak that way. I'm not even Canadian. So where'd you pick it up from? Was it John Gee Tupperware? Well, actually my biggest influence recently has been the far right. I'm like right in the pipeline and with the Canadians, Albertans specifically. And that's where I pick up a lot of my Canadians. You do say a few words differently. I think Canadians would probably notice that your way of speaking has changed, but certainly certain words. I've noticed a few as well.

And I think you can't help it when your whole family speaks with an accent that's different to you. I don't say Tabernacle like ever anymore. And I used to say it like all the time. So you used to say Tim Hortons. Yeah, I used to say Tim Hortons a lot. Coffee shop. Yeah. I used to say Poutine. I think your accent is pretty damn Canadian. I'll be honest with you. It's impressive. Yeah. Because I know a lot of people who've lost their accent.

Completely. Yeah. I mean, I've lived here for like 22 years. It's been a long time. But yeah, I don't think I've lost it much. It's probably more like words and terms and stuff that have changed. But... Right. I think it softens around other people though. I think when I've met you in real life and you've been at the shops or whatever, interacting with Jersey folks, you've been more... Automatically, I don't think you've even noticed more Jersey, you know, English. You've got to make yourself understood though. If you're too like, you know, I've just stepped out of the woods, then people just treat you differently.

You've got to fit in a little. out of the woods, then people just treat you differently. You've got to fit in a little. That's true. You are a native now. You've gone native. I am. I'm fully native. How did you choose which internet service provider to use? Sad thing is, most of us have very little choice, because ISPs operate like monopolies in the regions they serve. They then use this monopoly power to take advantage of customers. Data cats, bandwidth throttling, the list goes on. But worst of all, ISPs have the ability to keep a log of every website you visit and so can a ton of other third parties. Unless you use, I'll sponsor for today's episode ExpressVPN. Did you know that without ExpressVPN, third parties can still see every website that you

visit even in incognito mode? That includes your ISP, your mobile network provider, admins on your wifi network at your school or if you have a dad at home who has his own big network and like a NAS and everything, he can see your browsing history as well, even if you use incognito mode. ExpressVPN reroutes 100% of your traffic through secure encrypted servers, so third parties like your dad

can't see your browsing history. It can hide your IP address, making it extremely difficult for third parties to track your online activity. It works on all devices, phones, laptops, tablets and more. So you can stay private on the go. And just in case you needed more convincing, it's rated number one by top tech reviewers like CNET and The Verge. I use ExpressVPN.

I know you guys do as well. It's easy, very easy to use. And it's always just, I often just even forget it's on in the background. You can protect your online privacy today by visiting expressvpn.com slash triforce. That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N.com slash triforce. And you can get an extra four months for free.

Expressvpn.com slash Triforce. On with the show. On with the show. Can I ask you a question, Chris? Yeah. Did you make up Jean Guy Tupperware as a name? Or is it like a Canadian thing? It's like a pretty Canadian thing, as far as I know.

Or maybe as I when I Googled Jean Guy Tupperware, you can't find it anywhere. Maybe it was just like a local thing. I don't know. I remember like, we used to use it a lot. We used to say it all the time. Like, like any time anything came up, like, you know, if you were like mad about like somebody and they happen to be French Canadian to be like, yeah.

And then fucking John, Tpperware comes out of nowhere. Like it was just kind of used like that, but it was used often enough. I mean, if you Google it, it only comes up in relation to the triforce. Like you're saying on the book. So for some reason, it hasn't made it onto the wider web. I mean, maybe it's just like, maybe it was just a local thing. You know, maybe it was just might have been. Yeah, was just a local thing. You know, maybe it was just, yeah. I just fucking love it.

Another thing that we used to say a lot, which I've never heard anyone say before is back in the nineties, we used to, we used to say that the same way you would use like the hard R to, uh, to, you know, to describe somebody or to show some animosity towards somebody or whatever. Uh, we used to call people rehabs all the time as well. Like you're a fucking rehab, but like it makes no sense. It's like, it's the dumbest thing, but we, I know like tons of people that used to say

that. I like that. I like it. It sounds like something I don't know. I don't know. I just said, it just sounded funny. And I think that's why people picked it up and started using it, but it makes no sense. But I remember lots of people saying it, you know, like in just conversation, you'd meet somebody outside of your friend's group, like at the bus stop or something.

And you'd be like, oh yeah, fucking rehab. You know, like it was just a, it was, it's just a weird thing, but I remember it. It's just a dumb joke for your group. Well, that's how language gets started, right? So it's, it's, it's deliberately exclusionary to people, not in your group, you know? So it gives you your own identity to have, um, your own shit. And everyone has that, right? Everyone has their own little stupid in-jokes or pet names. Yeah. We used to work with a guy overnight and nobody liked him. He's an older guy. And

anytime he spoke to him, he would just constantly talk about how he was trying to get tax exemptions for stuff that he bought throughout the year. We used to work nights with him. I sound like a cool guy. But he was a French Canadian man, and his name was Jongi as well. So you can imagine the Jongi Tupperwares were like soaring at that point. Anytime he wasn't around, it'd be like, Oh fuck, he's just fucking going on fucking Tupperware again, what's going on about the tax exemptions and everything. It was... I bet you he was like ground floor Bitcoin and stuff like that.

He's probably living in a beach mansion now. He was pretty old at the time. I was like 17, 18 years old. He's long gone. He's got to be. I think a lot of those guys that I used to work with, well, I know my manager from back then passed away years ago and I'd imagine most of the other ones did too. It's pretty rough working overnight, especially for like a long period of time, which those guys did. I mean, I was just there for like, you know, a couple of months and I hated it, but those guys

were like lifers. They were there years, years, years, you know, working 1030 at night till seven in the morning for... Mason. That's what kills them. Yeah. Yeah. I think it finishes people off a little bit. Yeah. It's hard. Jason. I'll say the other day, someone my age was visiting their grandparents and going out for a date with them. And I was like, my granddad, my dad's dad died when in 1953, it's like a long time ago. And I have had opportunities to have their grandparents, you know, pass away. But it's like my mom's parents died several multiple, like I think in the sixties. So I

know that. Yeah. I never got the chance to meet them. So you had no no grandparents your whole life. No, because my dad also had parents. Oh, sorry. I thought you said both of your. No, no, no. Sorry. My my my mom's. So, yeah, both her parents died in the 60s of cancer. I think breast cancer and smoking. So lung cancer was was what did them in.

Then my grandmother on my dad's side, I loved her, I was very close with her. And we lived with her and her son, my uncle, when we moved back to the UK, when my parents got divorced. So I was very, very close with her. But my grandfather, my Canadian grandfather, who lived in Ottawa, he was just a very intimidating guy. What was his name? Don Tupperware. His he was like, he was an Air Force pilot in the Canadian Air Force, you know, and he was like, it was quite a conservative fellow, like one of those sort of old school conservative dudes. And just a big guy, deep booming voice, sort of big presence.

And I was incredibly intimidated by him. Man, conservatism has changed a lot, hasn't it? It has, eh? When you look back to like, because I know my grandparents were too, they were like, what I would consider very conservative people, you know, they would go to church on a Sunday, but they weren't crazy with it, you know what I mean? Like they would do certain things and they had these certain levels of decorum that they would adhere to or whatever. But they were like, they were kind of like proper people, you know, like they were clean. They didn't do anything like, well, as far as I know, illegal, you know, they just seem like pretty normal middle class people.

Yeah. That like I would define that as like really conservative people, but it's changed. It's changed an awful lot. I think back to the past, conservatism, like the conservative people that I knew just were basically like you said, they were probably church going, they were, they'd lived in the same area for a very long time. And they just sort of wanted everything to stay the same. Like that's the whole point is that they wanted the same traditions. They liked the Queen and they supported, you

know, whatever the armed forces were doing. They were like, those are our boys, you know, it's all this kind of traditional things, very patriotic, watch things like last night at the proms or whatever, you know, just the kind of staples of tradition that I associate with conservatism. Whereas now it just seems to be hate. Yeah, it really does. It's like really hate. Yeah. And most of that is just fear, I think.

Most mostly ill-informed hate as well. Yeah, a lot of hate. Yeah. Just tons of hate. Very strange. So you obviously both have kids, right? We carry on your line. Well, I don't have a line. Yeah. But I was, I carry on my line for sure. No, no. I highly recommend the Agatha Christie short stories, right? And it's, it's obviously a staple, a kind of a meme, that people only ever talk about a will in a murder mystery. That's the only time you really ever hear about these things. But you know why that is, right? Well, it's because that's a good motive. No, no. It's not just that. It's because

a lot of people can relate to having older relatives that they wish were dead so that they can just get their will and never have to fucking see them again. That is the truth of it. There's a lot of people have some wealthy older relative who's just an absolute cunt to everybody. And you think when that fucking guy pops his clogs, at least we'll get. Maybe it's something nice in the will.

That's what I reckon it is. A lot of people that pops his clogs, he least we'll get maybe it's something nice in the will. That's what I reckon it is. A lot of people are like, oh, pops his clogs. He's going to pop his little clogs. That little hero's clogs are just good. He's going to pop them. Pop the clogs. It does imply that when you die, you fall over and your clogs just pop off. Like when you shit yourself when you die. Yeah.

Your clogs pop off. Yeah. You shit in the clogs. Who... Okay, so you have brothers and sisters, right? Maybe your siblings. Me? Yes.

I have three sisters and a brother. I have a sibling. And they have children, usually. So, I have two half-sisters that I haven't spoken to in a very long time. I have a half brother who I speak to occasionally and he has one child. My sister doesn't have any kids. She has cats instead. Mason- So they're anyway, so kids of your siblings, all I guess your half siblings are still your nieces and nephews, right? They don't count as like half niece or half nephew. They're still just blood relatives, right?

Yeah. Effectively. Yeah. I mean, it's essentially, I think that the whole half brother, half sister thing, I don't like that. I call them my brothers and sisters and I wish I saw them more and have more contact because I don't have any fucking family. Like it's just zero basically. So I always wanted to have a big family, but it's just hard because various family, personal family things. But are you loose? I feel like you're, you're, you're heading towards a bailiffs here with, uh, you know, they, you know, like, uh, there's, there's,

there's TV shows about it, right? Where it's like, we couldn't find the next of kin or any relations or whatever. We had to really dig through the crates to find this long lost, you know, half uncle or whatever. Well, they basically, they have to, it's quite simple. You go up the chart and then go back down, right? So you go up to your grandparents and then you go to their brothers and sisters, right? And so it's like your grandparents, so your grand uncles or your grand aunts, you look at those, the children of those who were of your parents' generation, right? And they, do you know what they are? They're your first cousin once removed, I think.

What is the removed thing? So the removed thing is basically- What does that mean, once removed? Because I've always heard that. And I'm like, I don't know what it means. I genuinely don't know what it means that be once removed? Cause I've always heard that. And I'm like, I don't know what it means. I genuinely don't know what it means to be. Is that like your, your like, would that be like your mom's cousin? So that's like your cousin, but no, it's not really your cousin.

There is, there is a chart. Here's a chart for you. So basically you can have a look. So your, your generation is, is what's important. So of your age, they're not actually necessarily your age because people might have got married young or got married very old and had a kid old or young. As a result, things get skewed. Sometimes people will say, oh, this is my uncle and they're the same age as them, right? But they're actually from a different generation. So it's to do with generations. Your generation is your first cousins are from your grandparents,

your second cousins are from your great-grandparents, your third cousins are from your grandparents, your second cousins are from your great grandparents, your third cousins are from your great, great grandparents. You see what I mean? But then anyone who is up or down in that line isn't necessarily your uncle. Will Barron You've lost me. Alistair They are so gone. Will Barron You lost me very early on. Alistair Yeah, me too. Will Barron I lost you immediately.

Will Barron I'd say four or five words into the opening sentence, I was flummoxed. Well, it's better to just look at a chart. Look at a cousin chart. You'll find it on the internet. But basically you're removed. So, okay, the easiest way to see it is you've got your uncle, right? Or your aunt. They've got children who are your cousins. Their children are your first cousins once removed. Why don't we just make them second cousins? Well, the second cousins are from the, they're the children of your great uncle. What's a great uncle? So my parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters.

Yeah. Yeah. So those are second cousins. So your mom's uncle is your great uncle, for example. Yes. He died last year, actually. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, like our great uncles now will be mostly gone, I would say. But your great uncle's children are not your second cousins because they're still, they're effectively they're a generation above you. So they are first cousin once removed. I see. relatively they're a generation above you. So they are first cousin once removed. And then I think it's how many, basically it's how many steps they are to being a cousin. I think, Oh God, it's confusing. Anyway, you can have people be- Do you want to be, do you guys want to be cousins? We could just say we're cousins. How about that?

I think we would need to sign something. Brothers? Sisters? Do we want to be sisters? You can, unofficially, you can be whatever you want. Like, we could just call, you know, each other whatever. Can we, how about we three form a group called the Lords of Chaos? We just do that. We're three chaotic brothers. Three wild and chaotic brothers with wild and crazy eyes.

Another bang up to date reference for the Triforce podcast. How do we do this? Make this official? Do we go for registry office? Change our names? Hello, we'd like to form the Lords of Chaos, please. We shouldn't have called it the Triforce podcast. Maybe it's a rebrand. It's not toorand. It's been going on for so long. It's time.

Let's rebrand to a three wild and crazy guys. Three wild and crazy guys. We could like have a cool intro and we say crazy stuff. Like a Simfeltie, Binkety Bumpety. Yeah. Binkety Bumpety. Slow down, mate, we don't want to go too crazy here. Like some bass lines, you're talking about bass lines here I think, you want bass. I do this like, I don't know if you guys do anything like this, but I do like, my kids, they're getting bigger now so they roll their eyes, but they used to love it, but I used to do like my kids, they're, they're, they're getting bigger now. So they roll their eyes, but they used to love it.

But I used to do like air base, you know, like, yeah, like in the kitchen, I would do, it was like a mix of air base, but then like, uh, like Elaine's dancing from Seinfeld, you know, lots of like kicks and stuff. Oh man. So now every time like my kids do anything music related, like at school or whatever, the joke is my wife always makes a joke. She's like, uh, ask them if they're looking for a bass player. Family jokes. Those sort of in jokes you have as a family are the best ones.

They are the best ones. I know they're so funny because it's just for you guys. It's like this joke is just for us. Yeah. And we like the radio will be on and there'll be like something with like some base and everybody will be like, Oh, no, turn the radio off quick. I'll be like in another room, I'll come rushing in! Oh, fuck. That's good. That shit's... yeah. I live for that stuff. That's the best shit.

It's so fun. I mean, honestly, the person I'd say, me and Mrs. F, like, we've been together for so long now, the number of in-jokes and shit is just insane. Like so long now. The number of in jokes and shit is just insane. Yeah, like genuinely insane. The amount of things that references we've got that are fucking things that happened in the previous century. We still joke about. It's just so dumb. But yeah, that's the real shit. Like it's the same with my friends that I've known for some of my friends. I've known for longer than I've been with Mrs. F, and the jokes and references and the sort of callbacks are like, you think about a comedian has a callback in their set and it's like half an hour, we're talking 35 year callbacks here,

you know, we're reference to the deep cuts of our friendship and I love that, I think that's the absolute best. We've been doing this along fucking nearly 10 years. Well, you know, the last year is our 10th year. We have a lot of a lot of lots of references and in jokes and stuff. Yeah. Come back and whatnot. It's good. It's been good. I like I like the the long game with stuff like, you know, feels like I was like I was saying before, you just everybody knows like, what's up?

Like precisely, you know, everybody knows like what's up, like precisely, you know, everybody knows what, what everybody else is doing or meant to be doing and stuff. And it just, it works, you know, it's, it's like, it's like, uh, it's like building a, like a factory and then it working really well, like over a long period of time. It's nice. You mean your factory. It's familiar. I love a factory. Yeah. It's cozy. Oh, guess what? Um, so factory loves a lot. It's familiar. I love a factory. Yeah, it's cozy. Oh, guess what?

So it was my my eldest turned 16. Wow. Already, that's crazy. I know. Which means that my eldest was seven when we started this podcast, which is pretty. Wow. So, yeah, 16. And I was like, what do you want for your birthday? A guitar. I was like, awesome. So we went to a guitar shop.

That's a great age for learning guitar. Perfect. Perfect. Yeah. Because you've got the finger strength and everything. Guitar is quite, you know, at least a lot of finger strength and dexterity and stuff. So I was like, all right. So there's a guitar shop in Kingston, which is not far from us. It's one of the very few music shops that is like actually a physical

shop you walk into when there's instruments hanging on the wall. And this place just does guitars. And we went in there and there was a lad there. Sorry, hold on a sec. This is what 10 years of it does to you. Sorry. So we went in there and I said, looking to buy first guitar for my 16-year-old, what do you recommend? And we were going in with the idea of getting an acoustic guitar because we were like, well, that might be easier to learn on, right? It's less delusional to learn to play the guitar. And he was like, okay, what kind of music do you like? And we were both like, we like rock and stuff like that. And he was like, well, then get an electric guitar. And I was like, hmm, is he trying to upsell me? And he said, well, look, if you get an

acoustic guitar, you'll only be able to play acoustic songs. And if you don't like acoustic folky stuff, you're going to be stuck playing music that you don't even listen to just for the sake of learning to play the guitar. He said, if you get an electric guitar, which sounds like you listen to music that has electric guitar in it, you'll be much more motivated to play. And I was like, that sounds great. The great idea sold me electric guitar was 110 pounds for a brand new guitars, really beautiful guitar. It's all Japanese.

That's good. But then of course we needed to buy an amp. And the amp was the expensive part because he sold me a PV, but that's the brand, an American made amp, this old fashioned style, I can't remember what's in it, but he said this thing will likely increase in value, because they don't make these anymore. I was like, perfect! So yeah, we've got the guitar, we've got the amp, then I was like, we're gonna need a strap

as well, we're gonna need a bag, we're gonna need a stand, but I was like, you know what? You need a distortion pedal, you can get effects pedals. Didn't get any pedals. But yeah, I mean, I want to fuck around with this electric guitar as well, cause it's just cool. So I thought this was one of the favourite presents I've ever bought anyone. It felt great. And there was this old boy in there, and he said, he goes, oh, I was here to see you buy

your first guitar! And my eldest was kind of embarrassed, he goes, I brought my first guitar 60 years ago. Wow. He's like old as fuck. And he's seeing this 16 year old buy their first guitar. And I thought that's the kind of circle of life that musicians love. Can I, can I make one suggestion? I would say get an acoustic as well, because you're not always going to want to

plug in an electric guitar and play like you will. But there'll be times where just having an acoustic to play like, you know, an acoustic song or slower song, but you're still practicing, right? Like you can still apply it all back to the electric guitar and stuff like that. I think it's worth having both. I'm just saying. And also, if your eldest forms a band and they need a bass player or air bass player, I'm available.

So throwing that out there as well. You can shred on that air bass. If they keep it up, great. If they don't, you know, that's just what it's like. You know, sometimes I'm like this with stuff, but fortunately, a hundred pounds is not a great bar. It's incredibly, you know, it's not, incredibly... It's not like a huge investment, is it really? It's obviously expensive, but really...

It's expensive, but it's not like breaking the bank, right? A friend of mine bought a new violin. Not a new violin, no. A violin to take with them to LARP and stuff. Because they didn't want to take their actually expensive one with them, but they bought this. We're kind of shocked that they could get one for like a hundred pounds. Obviously Chinese made and he can hear the difference, but I don't know if a lot of people can. And honestly, a lot of our expensive brands are just made in China anyway. And I mean, it is astonishing that you can get musical instruments that cheap, really. You know, given that like even they come with a big case, the case probably would cost like 30 quid, you know, like, like used ones like secondhand instruments and stuff for surprisingly affordable.

Like if they're not, you know, if they're not like, like the, like the amp, you know, the one that will go up, but I think they'd be made abroad for a long time. Yeah, you can, you can get get knockoff vendors and stuff like that. But the old advice to buy the cheapest thing, use it till it breaks, and then if you find that you've used it that much that it has broken, then you buy the most expensive one. I think it's a real good attitude to have on tools and things like this anyway. So I hope they enjoy it and get a kick out of it. P-Flex, you might have to invest in some, at least it's not drums. Oh no, no, no. We're getting lessons. We're going to get lessons.

Oh, okay. No, guitar lessons. Because that's like the other bar. I think guitar lessons are worth it to get you started for sure. Like, yeah. What are you going to play? You want the basics. I'm not. I have arthritic fingers, so I can't really you could do like um harmonica. You got good lips triangle. Thank you Thank you for kissable lips. What about the triangle? You could do the triangle triangle On brand with the triforce me playing the triangle You can do the piccolo.

What about the slide whistle? You could. We've got to work it into every song. We've got a guitar solo here, drum solo there, bass solo. Vocal is going to shred. Oh, hiya. Yes, Ted. When's the slide whistle going to be in this song?

We'll put it at the end. You just wait for the end. The song is really dramatic. I love the idea that you'll stood there throughout the whole band practice. Yeah, like not in my head. Not in my head. And then really dramatic, you know,

the singer's like on his knees. Yeah. He just walk on stage for your crowd. Everyone's throwing glasses at me. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. I had guitar lessons when I was younger. I remember getting my first guitar and stuff. It was a fun times.

It just felt like it was one of those moments when you're a teenager where you get something you feel like, I can do so much now. And of course I didn't do much with it, but there was the, you know, it was that that side of it was appealing. You know, I thought, oh man, I'll be able to write songs or I'll be able to play all these great songs that I like and stuff. And I learned a bunch of songs and it was good fun. I am immensely jealous of people with physical skills. Whether it's juggling or doing a handstand or being able to play an instrument. I could see why. Sometimes there will be a thing and someone will just play something on the piano or something and I'll just be like, oh my God, I'm so jealous. This person is, I'm just like, so Adam, he just like hearts in my eyes. I'm just like,

I love you now. I think it's just such a powerful thing in days of everything being digital, right? You know, and almost like a lot of cheats is like, well, why would you need to learn to play an instrument when you can just have an AI do it? It's not the same, you know? It's going back to the real world. I miss it. I really wish I'd done, I hated doing music at school. My parents forced me to play the piano and stuff. Piano I would have liked to learn. Now that I'm older and I look back, I think, oh man, it'd be great to be able to play the piano well.

I feel like it would just be wonderful to just be able to sit down and just play a great song on the piano. A solo pianist to me just is great. I could sit around and listen to somebody playing the piano. And like, I just, a solo pianist to me just is great. I could sit around and listen to somebody playing the piano like forever. And I wish I could do it as well, but I'm too lazy to, to learn the piano. But, uh, when I was at school, like pro like elementary school, primary school, I learned the trumpet and the clarinet. Can you believe that? I could see you play the trumpet. So I was playing the trumpet and the clarinet. Can you believe that? I could see you play the trumpet. Man, I was playing the trumpet so much. You had to like rent your instrument and stuff.

It was great. Oh wow. I hated it at the time, but like I look back now and I'm like, Oh man, do you remember actually pretty good time? Do you remember emptying the spit valve? Oh, what a time. Yeah, it stunk so bad. Oh my God. The smell from the spit valve. Oh, fuck me. Yeah. So when I did music at school, there was no instrument. Like we didn't, we just learned

theory. So we'd be in there and we'd just be listening to music or learning about notes and stuff. But I didn't play a single instrument at school. Not one. You didn't have the ta-ti-ti-ta Tata like when they were like, um, you like the counting they're like, and you go to Tati Tata. That's how they used to teach us. You got like this timing stuff and everything. No, it was totally not. I would have loved that.

But we used to run around at recess outside going to Tati Tata. Screaming at each other was really good. I don't know why we didn't have any instruments. It was just they just I think if you had one, you had it always. There always seem to be lads who were doing music much more seriously and they would have some extra music lesson thing, like at lunchtimes or after school or whatever, and they'd have instruments. But the school didn't like here, you're going to learn to play the trumpet for.

So I have nothing, which was shit. We had, uh, where, when I went to school, they had like a local place that you rented the instrument from. Uh, so you had to be, you had to know what you wanted to play early on because things would just disappear and then you'd be stuck with like, you know, something you didn't want or whatever. Right. But everybody went to the same place. They all had the same cases.

And then in the music room at school, you could leave your instrument there because you had like two or three music lessons a week. So instead of taking it home all the time, you can leave it there. And that room, when you went into it to get your instrument, smelt like the spit valve of a million instruments. When you went into it to get your instrument, smelt like the spit valve of a million instruments. Like it really stuck in their bed. I remember those. Some of the rooms were just so smelly.

I mean, it was a boy's school, but they just you went in there and you thought, has anyone even been in here at this decade? It's just cause that must be. We had. Scars at our school. We had those those movable ceiling tiles and people would throw sandwiches up there and stuff. So like every class just stunk of mold and shit.

And we had, uh, they did in the eighties, it was very popular to use a school that was far too small for the school population, but instead of expanding the school, they would use those portables, the outside portables. When I was in elementary school, I'm not even kidding. We had like 50 of those outside portables. Like all my classes were in those outside portables. Dude, it's still happening. Yeah.

And all it would take is for one person to be sick in one of those. And the thing, that portable would be cursed forever. You could never get the smell of sick out of them. Like, I don't know what it was, but like, in the summer they were just like little sweat boxes, in the winter they were always cold, like aw man it's the worst. ALICE It was bad. It was bad. The weirdest room in my school, looking back, was the armory. ALICE The armory? ALICE The armory. We had an armory.

ALICE Nice. ALICE As in, guns. ALICE No way. Have you been playing blue prints? What's that? It's the game that we were talking about. It's basically you have to build a house and this house has some really fucking weird rooms in it because they had to make up like 60 or 70 rooms, right? And some of them are a bit odd. Blue prints. Blue prints. Like blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz blitz bl prints. Blue prints like blitz blitz blitz. It's the play on words, but it's actually called blue.

I feel like if I mentioned it to you enough, Pflats, you'll get into it. Prints. Yeah. Welcome to Mount Holly, where every dawn unveils a new mystery. Navigate through shifting corridors and ever changing chambers. And this is not a defying strategy. Not the advert. The advert is different. What do you mean the advert? There is that you're reading it like it's an advert.

Oh, sorry. No, I'm just reading the copy on Steam. I'll add it to my wishlist. You should. It's really good. I think you'd like it. I'll give you a copy. I think you'd like it. OK. It's weird. It's a bit like Father Ted, you know, like the recommendation doesn't do it justice. You got to play it to to really appreciate it. Yeah, that's weird. It's a bit like Father Ted, you know, like the recommendation doesn't do it justice. You got to play it to, uh, to really appreciate it.

Yeah, that's true. If you told people Father Ted is about, um, three priests on a tiny island. Yeah. Uh, in Ireland, you'd be like, okay, that does not sound funny. Sounds pretty dry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's good. It's a good one. It's a blast, but sorry, that had, that has like an armory and stuff. So you had an armory in your school. Yeah. I think we probably did as well because we had the cadet force. Exactly. So that was what we had.

And it had a bunch of rifles in there and ammunition. And it wasn't like only teachers could go there. They had the keys, but then some of the senior pupils who were in the CCF could also get access to the armory. And I'm thinking nowadays that probably wouldn't happen. But yeah, we had guns on the school premises, not just a couple, but like a lot of guns. Yeah, that was like 20 or 30.

We had some SA-80s, we had a Bren gun. It's pretty wild. But they were, you know, because I guess the whole point was that we've spoken about the CCF before, of course, but the cadet force was like a recruitment tool for the military because it's like, you know, this was a boys school, quite a conservative school. We'll get them get them into the military, good and young, because, you know, they teach you to have in the military. Did they teach? No, we didn't do the warface lessons. Let me see your warface! Ah, that's warface!

No, we didn't have that. It was just like simple military stuff like one time we did a signals thing where we had to go to a park in Bournemouth and set up a big antenna and we camped near there. And then for the rest of the 48 hours, we had to get in contact,

radio contact with other bases around the UK. And we had to exchange coded information with them that they would give us their code. We give them our code. And the idea was whichever troop gets the most of the codes from the other bases wins the sort of national CCF tournament for communication for signals. Which was a lot of fun. So we were just, you were up all night and in shifts getting on the radio and trying to figure out how to get in contact with the guys up in Scotland

or the lads over in Derbyshire wherever, get their code. We had to learn like the alphabet, how you say numbers on the military radio. You don't say five. You say five. You don't say nine. You say nine or stuff like that. No, I'm sure it was fun. You don't say five. You say five. I've never heard that one. Yeah, it's like you pronounce you enunciate like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Because five would they do that? Five sounds too much. because five, would they do that in? Five sounds too much. Is that like, would they do that on like, like a truck? Like would truckers do that too? Or is that just military? No, I don't think so. I don't think so. This is a five, nine or six, nine or six, nine or this is little ducky here.

This is John. We need, we need some Tupperware, Mr. Jongi. Um, but yeah, so it was, uh, it was fun. I mean, the CCF, I did enjoy it. Sometimes it was shit, but, um, some of the older lads were just absolutely twats. Yeah. I'm sure some of the guys from my school ended up going into the officer training college or whatever straight out of school because they were big into it. they were big into it. It did create, it did have an effect. It was fun. It was strange you joined it. But again, it was the same like school was a little bit like that. You got a choice of doings. You could learn instruments, join the chess club. You could hang out with the nerds in the computer room. I kind of did a bit of everything actually.

I wish I'd done more at school, in all honesty. Looking back now, I just fucking hated it so much. I was like the biggest slacker. Like I didn't do anything at school. Yeah, I did nothing. There were loads of... I mean, I will say this though, it's not like there were that many opportunities, because the school was just shit.

Like, I went to Bournemouth school, apparently now it's better. But there was just nothing. Like, it was just really rotten. Everything was falling apart. All the labs were really shit. We had like shit computers, the library, everything. And it was so old and musty. It just felt like underfunded and lacking in care.

And a lot of the teachers were just completely mentally checked out or should have been. Yeah. And they're just useless. And looking back now, it was just it was a really shitty time and a waste, a real waste of a lot of, a lot of potential. Well, you turned out all right. No, I didn't. What do I do for a living? I don't even have a job. I don't have a job. We've got jobless, jobless, bald, addicted. Oh, here it is. The boldness comes out of you.

You know, maybe if your brain had been more nourished when you were younger, all your hair might have not popped out. We got personally less candor. Maybe if yours had been more nourished, you and me would have been such a cunt. And yeah, me having an identity crisis. It's a disaster, three of us. But thank God we've got each other. Hell yeah.

The Lords of Chaos. And we've got you, the listener. Thank you for joining us everyone. Three wild and crazy guys. The Lords of Chaos will return next week. The crazy guys up there. Until then. Yeah.

Goodbye. And you. Bye.