Triforce! - The Musical Episode | Triforce Mailbag #67

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

Triforce Mailbag Special 67! We have 15 (!) Jingles to play to you today as we catch up on the biggest, most bulging sack we've ever had! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Hi everybody. Welcome back to the Triforce Mailbag. The Mailbag. Welcome, everyone. We're here to answer your mail. We are.

Clax has told us the bag is bulging. It's ready to burst. So bulging. Right. And we are going to start with the vast backlog of jingles.

We have 12 jingles. Oh, my Lord. Okay. Some of these are... We have to listen to all 12 of them. We're going to listen to all jingles. 12. Okay. I'm telling you. This is a musical special. None of these are AI. And one of them, let me just find the one. This is, do you remember we chat to about a composer, Robin, Robin,

we looked him up. We saw all his compositions. He's done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, here's his email. We'll start with Robbins. This is not because I want to set a high bar, okay? But also I kind of do want to set a high bar. Robin is an actual composer, as we know. I'll read you his email. Thanks for me email. Quite the whirlwind. Being banned from the podcast, unbanded, appointed head listener, and having music demanded of me within the space of a few minutes. I'm sorry, I don't remember any of that, being banned from the podcast, but he was apparently. So yes, while his two-year-old was napping, he has written us a song. I'll play it in a second. To answer Sips's question, his most performed piece is called filth. And it's been played 27 times.

Now, bear in mind, having a composition played 27 times means a whole orchestra got together. and played it. He played it 27 times. It has 27 listens on Spotify or something. It's so funny how that number is high when it's orchestra playing it, but low in any other context. Oh, it's terribly low. That's just your mates of, like you posted a song on Facebook and 27 people listened to it.

You've got 27 listens, but a whole orchestra getting together. That's a lot of people, because they've got to practice it too. Mostly by the same orchestra in Germany, the orchestra in Trepomhaus. I got very lucky that they. They're an orchestra who tore around Germany a lot and they liked the piece enough. They have just kept playing it. Perhaps more interesting to the three of you, my second misperformed piece was informed by, of all things,

the Triforce podcast. If you cast your minds back to episode 113, trying to, you talked about the Japanese game show contestant Nusubi, who had to live on his own for months on end, having to do things like eat dog food and uncooked rice. Oh, that's right, yeah. It was only stuff he won in mailing competitions that he could eat.

So he wrote a piece and he called it Nesubi, and that has also been played in UK, Germany, Sweden, USA and Canada 20 times. So consider this mailbag jingle, me paying you back. To answer Sips' other questions, sadly, I did not write the music for 50 cent, as I was indeed a child. However, you might like to know that back in 2017, you, Sips, also inspired me in a piece. It was when you were playing a lot of a hunting simulator game, and the game featured a piece of real hunting equipment called a bleat call. A box you turn upside down and make the sound of a deer. I found it really funny, so I bought a real bleak call and got a percussionist to use.

it in one of my pieces. Incredible. So here is the Mailbag jingle. You know, I did all of Wonderwall by Oasis using that thing. That looks really great. Yeah. Like, man. All right.

So this is Robin Hague Mailbag 2. Are you ready to play this one? Yeah. In three, two, one, play. The Mail by, the Mailbag here. Once again, the mail by. The mail by

The mail bag here Once again The mail by The mail bag The mail bag here Once again Mail by Mail by

Mail by You can see how orchestras Would love to play this stuff, eh? It's got a bit of everything in there It's so short You know, you have to go home by that Perfect, yeah Robin, that was a great one. Thank you so much.

I tell you what I like about it, like the start, that sort of that big drum beat intro sounds so reminiscent of gay activity. It sounded like the start of like a James Bond theme, maybe not Goldfinger, but something like that, you know? It's almost that, yeah, that one and a half seconds of drum roll is like Barry Yogs to me. I like it, Robin. Maybe that was deliberate. Who knows? God, it's brilliant. Wow.

Lewis got to make everything about himself. Look, he's always got to bring it back to himself somehow. Well, you know, listen, if you don't stroke your own conscience to be, he's going to talk. Stroke my conscience. No one else is stroking my conscience. Work the shaft of my conscience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On this podcast.

Cut the balls of my conscience. I know. Hi, yeah, lad, seasons greetings. A mailbag 65, Pflux's known, all the jingles that have come in so far have been sent by men. So I thought I'd give it a bash and do my best to represent my fellow lady listeners out there. So this was arranged for orchestra completely by me. Okay, while I did study this sort of thing as part of my undergrad, it's been some time since I arranged with only a melody that might be a bit rusty.

There was a follow-up email. I wouldn't have sent this if I'd known a professional composer was amongst the listeners. What are the odds? So this is Ash, and Ash is already apologizing for this song. This is called Triforce Mailbag Goes Orchestral. I realize I'm following the actual composer, with someone who's scared of the actual composer, but it doesn't matter. This song is a bangor, so it's great. Don't worry. There's no judgment.

We're ready, Ash. There's lots of judgment. This is from Ash. Three, two, one, play. Oh. Nice. Oh, oh. Sounds great.

Oh, this reminds me. Man, that was so good. It's like Final Fantasy music that plays during the castle. boss fight or something. I thought it was very, very console era, that kind of JRP. The emperor attacks the town and kills a choker bowl. It's that kind of music. This music is playing.

Yeah. Well, that was TriForice Mailbag goes orchestral. That was really good. Yeah. Yeah, really good. This one is from Cindy. You recently asked for your female listeners to submit a jingle. Mine is attached.

I started listening to TriForce podcast last year when my son and I took a road trip to move him from Wisconsin to California to start a new job. That is a long old way. That's a long way, yeah. Yeah. My son has been a fan for many years, starting with the Yogscast. Before our journey started, he warned me that he would be listening to his music and the Triforce podcast when it was his turn to drive.

I was surprised that I actually enjoyed the podcast and I've been listening to it on my own ever since. Wow. What a great story. Cindy is among us. Cindy. Cindy is probably about our age. I know.

This is Cindy's mail bag jingle. And I warn you, this is fucking incredible. Right. Okay. Cindy's mail bag jingle. All right. You guys ready. I'll be the judge of that.

Yeah. Three, two, one, play. I can, I can, I feel like I'm in Wisconsin right now. It's got a Wisconsin vibe to it. Oh. Oh. Gather round listeners. It's time for the mailbag.

It's good, eh? It's really good. comments jokes and jingles jokes and jingles oh that was beautiful coming from like a warm log cabin also I thought it was funny that in the song

Cindy's working in the fact that she's divorced and single right isn't that This is not a personal ad, Cindy. This is not the time to look for a new partner, Cindy. We just listen to your song. We live thousands of miles apart. This is not the time to look for a new partner and certainly not the place to look for one. I got a girlfriend in Wisconsin. She goes to a different school.

You wouldn't know her. You say that, right? They say that book clubs are good places for men to meet women because it's all women in book clubs. You know, it's hardly any men. But it's the other way around for orchestral. She's got all these lovely, all these. musical gentlemen. You know,

everyone loves a guy who plays an instrument or does, you know, Robin Hay, he's dripping in pussy. Oh, I'm sure.

It's not. You know, he's an excellent player of the skin flute, as we all know. Thank you, Cindy. This one's from Kate.

So, Cindy, you know, good luck. Good luck. This is, this is, I heard the call for the women

jinglers. Yeah. And therefore, please find this included. This is ladies, night. It is.

But I dare say it's more jingle than many of the ones already featured. Yeah, I'm going to put the dudes already submitted on blast, as the Americans like to say. The audio clips are too long, and more along the lines of promos or theme songs. A jingle, in my uncultured opinion,

should be no more than 10 seconds. So this is from Kate, podcast jingle. It's called podcast jingle.mp3. It's eight seconds. Oh, my God. Perfect. Three, two, one, play. Hold on to your tiny cucks and your big old twasers, the TriForce podcast. That is a jingle. No, she's right, though. That is a jingle. That's a jingle.

That's a jingle. It's a little too short. I like the longer ones. It needs something in the background. It's a bit empty room, isn't it? It needs, yes. Listen, thank you. Who's you send that in?

I can't remember. But thank you. Someone. Kate, I think it was Kate. It might have been a Kate. Kate, thanks so much. We forgot your name and your jingle already. I can't go back to the other screen because then I'll get lost where I am.

No, it's okay. Look, I appreciate the effort. I think I know what you're doing. I don't want the entire soundtrack to Harry Potter as my jingle. It needs to be like a little catchy advert. You know, like those adverts for Jetty holidays or whatever, that music that sticks in your head. Okay. So that's what you're trying to do.

Thank you, Kate. Just keep it going. Honestly, I'd rather you made 28 second long ones than one 18, 20, the other way around. Excellent. Well put. Yeah. This is from Ross. This is a double, a double submission, okay?

Jesus. These are kind of remixes of ones we've already had. So these are loving tributes to the favorite submissions from someone else. So this one is called the Mailbag here once again. Dot MP3, I think this is. Okay. Are you guys ready? Yeah.

Three, two, one, play. Oh. Well, this is nice. I love this. It's like an arcade, like a 90s. 1980s arcade game. Oh, it's harking back to our video game roots. Yeah.

You can imagine a pixelated 2D platformer. Yeah, yeah. This is like the end, you know, you just, you finish the game. Credits. Yeah, it's epic. Oh, there's a little bit of singing in the back. Oh, yeah. That is spectator.

If we were actually a podcast about video games and had any... Oh, yeah. But also, I feel like that era of chip. tune video games is just ever so slightly too old for me. I like the eight second jingle though. I really do like the short jingle. It's great. Yeah, yeah.

Try For us podcast. We're here once again. Go fuck yourselves and have a nice day. Like it just has to be a quick, quick jingle, you know? I love Chipchun stuff. I still listen to a lot of Chipchun. You're saying you're too young to remember this era of Chipchun,

which is probably fair enough. But I'll tell you what, we didn't appreciate how good. the music was in games back then. You can find a lot of YouTube videos where people are just saying, listen to this absolute bangor. It's a menu music from some forgotten game.

Is there a secure car truck backing up into your house right now? Yeah, yeah. That's a building work going on. That's chip tune, that. That's chip tune. Beat. Put a beat to it. Yeah, yeah. He's got a nice beat going. And the sound of an airplane going over as well. We've got a fucking song right here. Yeah. This is the mailbag ready to shit.

Ready to shit.com. Remixed. You ready? Yeah. Three, two, one. Play. Wait, just wait. Is the Tropos podcast, are you ready to shit? Are you ready to shit? Tropos podcast.

Are you ready to shit? Dropbox podcast. Are you ready to shit? I'm ready to shit. Just have some patience. When the music's the music going to start with? Why is this the same? Just calm down.

Yeah, Lewis. I thought I was having like a stroke because I just thought I played the rock one. Just trust me. Just trust me a little bit. Yeah, he knows what he's doing. He's a consummate professional. He can't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't judge him. Yeah, just calm down.

Don't tell him short, let him do his thing. Ready to shit. Who says, what's that from? So another guy said that in, that are you ready to shit? I can't remember why are you ready to shit was the lyrics. Where's the focal come from? That guy is a remix of that guy's song and he's remixed it with this chip tune. So it must move on.

I know it's very confusing. This is from Matt, from Brum. This is Triforce One. We're going to play it. Three, two, one, play. Nice. This is the Tri Force Man, Black. Nice.

This is where you're going to get all your laughs, Piri and Sipson Lewis, too. Let's hope they don't talk about who. Yeah. This is the Tri Force Man. Do you know, this song is a cover song, I think. It's that one, do, do, do on the 45. It's that song.

Maybe. I don't think it is. But I get where you're covering from. There's definitely familiarity there. What are the lyrics to that song anyway? Because I always just hear it as Supreme Voodoo Fashion on the 45, but I don't know what it actually is. I don't even know what song you're talking about. Brim full of Asher on the...

Oh, brim full of Asher. Yeah. So it's not Supreme Voodoo Fashion. A song by a band called Corner Shop. Oh, right. I remember when this came out, actually. And it was very popular. Back on the 45.

Do do, do, do, do, do. I think a 45 was meant to be like a... Everyone needs a good, strong pillow. Everybody needs a good strong pillow. Everybody needs a good, strong pillow. What is it? Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow. What?

Everyone needs a good strong pillow. I like that, though. Wait, did you actually think it was everybody needs a good strong pillow? Listen, I've heard the song like twice in my life, okay? That's the good advice. I haven't dedicated. What a sweet innocent boy. It is lovely.

Also, like I do like the idea that songs are secretly selling you things that are advice to. Always invested in a very solid good bed frame. Everybody needs a really absorbent towel. Like, you know, that's a whole detail. I like that. We should try and encourage more of that. There's loads of songs where like the lyrics could be, could be anything, right?

Yeah. Like, like, like, loser by Beck. I used to, and I still do think because I don't actually know what it is, but it sounds like, so I open the door.

I'm a loser babies. Why don't you kill me? No, it's like soy una brevado. Yeah, I know, I know, but it sounds like, so I open the door.

So that's why. I used to know all the, the lyrics to that. In my mind, that's what I sing, but I know it's not right, but like, I don't care enough to correct myself either. It's okay. This is, this is, this one's from Alex. It's a, it's the name of this file is voice 251218 underscore 190332.m4A. Not made by the end of the editor here. Not made by AI, by the way. Not made by AI. Yeah. This is kind of an opera style hymnal song, apparently. It's 53 seconds. but it's worth it.

Are you guys ready? Yeah. Yeah. Three, two, one, play. Does it have lots of like Gothic? Just listen. No. It's the trifos male back heens again.

Is the trifles mail back him to count? Nice voice. Very quiet, very beautiful. Thank you so much. Yeah, really nice. Wow, that is a lot to unpack here. We're boshing through them. We're not going to do a paragraph review of every single one

because we've still got a few more to do. People set these in. I'll be damned if someone's taken the time to write a song and I'm not going to fucking put it on the podcast. So I'm going to keep playing them. This is from Stoopy. It's called tinypeckers.m.m. Nice.

Okay. You ready? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Tiny, one, Play.

This is from an anonymous sender written by someone with a gaping vagina, brackets, me. That's who it's been said. That's who it was. We got gaping. This one is the most simply named. It's just called mailbag.m4A. Three, two, one, a palais. Very good.

Very, very politically correct as well. Yes. So nice. I like that. I like how there was like a little bit of a sort of like, you don't. don't have to do it if you don't want to, but I like doing it. That's good. That's the kind of message that we want to send to people. Very funny. I'm getting like musical theater. What are those two female comedians used to do all those songs called? Oh my God, I can't remember. But that's the

vibe I'm getting. Cold Porter. It's like a modern day cold porter, you know? Like a modern day cold porter. There you go. Cold Porter. That's impressive. This is from NIM. This is another gaping vagina haveer. And this is a new metal mailbag submission. Oh, I can't. I can't wait. I can't wait. I knew you couldn't. All right, here we go. Three, two, one play. Oh, yes. This is more like it. Yo, another trap force raising Louis P. Flex and Sips. Louis starts talking and his brain his leg. He never knew you. So here we are. With the laughing too. Fuck, that's amazing. That's like the best one. That's so good.

That's the best one. Well done. Yeah. No, it was so good. Like it has so much energy, you know? Like, it was great. I like the acoustic stuff, but I do tend towards sort of like heavier music, you know. Indeed. I like something with like a little bit of like grit. I like something like with a bit of hardness to it, you know? Well, there you go. Is there a death metal?

Sadly, there's no death metal ones. But now that you've said that, I'm hoping they were like that kind of shit. Yeah. I want it to go the other way. I like the banjo, tiny tim. I hate that shit. So this is Another Lady

Triforce jingle.mptop3 This is from McGorff Knuckle McGorff Knuckle Three, two, one, play Oh, here we go Listen to this Lewis Pyrion and Sips

All sitting down touching fucking tips me just a vegan puberty and a dad six also a motherfucking dad I just want to say thank you for this amazing mailbag and I just need to let you know that

I have a gaping vagina nice thank you good thank you so much for the info and what great sample by the way it sounds really good nice that sample is plays in your head that's like your music tips that's what you that's when you're walking to the shops

and guess what He's also a motherfucking dad. I love that so much. That's great. Another good one. They're all good. They're all good. Try for you.

But the thing, you're always going to get like an extra nod from me if you, if, if, if you play. If it's got some hip hop or like some, something heavy in it, like, I don't, I like that. We got four more, okay? Because I really love these and I, none of these are AI. And they've got a real personal touch. Holy God. The ladies showed up, though.

I know. I know. I know. But one of the ladies, the lyrics was that essentially, she's too busy answering emails and cleaning to do this. To do this. And the women have better things to do than men. She's wasted all of her time. Turns out, you're wrong. A lot of the women out, they have nothing better to do that put together wraps and orchestral numbers. So listen, I have not pre-listened to the next two. Okay? Because they just came in. Actually, they came in in in October. But what I mean is I just found them. This is from This is TF song

Maximum Comedy.comedy. Your favorite format, Liz. Dot flak. Well, this one is, I noticed, about 10 times the... It's a minimal sign. It's five megs. So this is a big one.

We're going to play this. Here we go. Three, two, one, play. Well, you're doing some shit. Listen closely. Well, the world goes to shit Listen closely

Well, you're taking a shit Yes Listen, try force You're really just fucking unloading up there, aren't you? Jesus Christ, that's This is the best one now You guys talk about some shit Lewis do, I guess

Embrace your tiny Peas is a gaping boost whichever you prefer Hear about the snail king Hear about the pigeon lord mocking things Louis said in a chair Oh yeah, wait a bit Pixies at the end

I like that Welcome to the Trifor Oh, I'm getting like I'm getting sort of emo Yeah, I'm getting like saves the day I'm also getting like You can hear the quality of that.

That's very That's what I enjoyed the most. It's the crisp quality. The audio file has spoken. Listen, you can tell that the guy's a connoisseur because everything was recorded so.

So every instrument in that was the bass. Nice. Well, you could tell the guys got some overly expensive audio equipment. No, so he's doing. Whereas everyone else is just bashing this out on their phone. Well, all right, just because it's flak, let's not suck the guy's dick, all right? The other songs were great, too.

I know you love flak. I love the, man, if you add a fart sound effect somewhere in your song, it's getting a thumbs up for me. Why didn't the Beatles do that? Yeah, they should have. Love, love me do. You know, I would have made the song so much better. Like, it would have been incredible. 100%.

So these next two, I've lost the email they came with, but I still want to play the song. This is mailbag jingle submission.wav. Perfect. Okay, so we're going to play this one in three, two, one play. Derek, what do you want for dinner, love? I've just put the cats. Oh, my God. Derek, the mailbag here.

They're coming into the wind. They'll get the children. Back here. So I remember now the e-mouse is. There's a perfectly cut scream at the end as well. He said something about a home invasion jingle was what that was. I apologize. I'm losing the.

Every podcast needs a home invasion jingle, I think. It's like a 9-1-1 call. It really is. It really is. But thank you so much. I'm so sorry. I've lost the email. It's in the mix of all the emails I've got.

We don't know who did that. Somebody said that in. They said it was home invasion jingle. That's all I remember. Thank you so much. It's just a... All right. That was Mailbag jingle submission.wav.

This one is TriForse podcast intro theme tune. M4A. Good luck, Tom. putting this together. One play. It's Wednesday my dudes at last. The boys are talking

mostly out there out. Their best years have all but passed. Wait, what? You're listening to the TriForce podcast. He's got a point. You know who could slip a little dis in there

and we wouldn't notice it. The best years have passed. Fuck you. Fuck you. No, no. I'm feeling. I feel that every day, guys. Every day.

You feel like your best years are behind you now? Oh, God. Yeah. Look in the mirror. I'm like, God. Who's this man looking back at me? All gray heads and, you know. Yeah.

Sagging. Sagan, old man. The earth is trying to take you back. Trying to melt you into a puddle. Yeah. And now we've entered the point in the podcast where I'm going to read some emails. That was half an hour of banging tunes. I'll tell you what, though, those were great jingles.

A lot of them were good. They were the new metal and the hip hop one for me. They stood out a little bit more. I liked those a lot, but the other ones were all very good as well. I don't think I disliked any of those jingles. I'm going to say Cindy's was my favorite, especially because I have road trip in mind. She's like an American mom who's looking after the kid and thought, oh, geez, I'll listen to his podcast. I'm going to hate it.

And she was like, actually, these British guys are so cute and funny. I like. And the one Canadian guy too. I'm going to write him a goddamn jingle. Two British guys and one Canadian guy. Yeah, sorry, that's right. I feel like... You're honorary.

I've been here a long ass time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Yeah, it's true. You still got the passport. I'm integrated. I've integrated. This is from Matt.

Love the pod, long time listener. My girlfriend and I have a domestic problem. We think you and the boys can adjudicate on. We're the boys. We've both agreed to stand by your ruling in perpetuity throughout the universe. Right. I've been with my girlfriend for over five years. I've lived with her in her house for the last four.

We generally have a good separation of household chores. I cook and clean the kitchen. She cleans and does the laundry. We've been gliding along a relative bliss until this Christmas, a gift from her best friend has thrown the house into turmoil. Right. The gift in question, a bento lunchbox set. Now, I'm going to show you, lads, a picture.

I'll describe it to the listeners. It doesn't take much. It doesn't, but here's the picture. If I got a bento lunchbox set for Christmas, that shit would be at the charity shop immediately before it caused any problems. Well, look at it. First of all, I will say this, Sips, you don't leave the house. Like me, this kind of lunchbox has very little utility for us. Yeah.

Because I will just use a plate or a bowl from downstairs. I don't need this. No. But if I was going into an office, having my nice little bento stackable lunchbox might be quite sweet. So here's the question. Okay. I am a reasonable man. I would understand a simple tupperware to take a salad or last night's leftovers in.

I can forgive a small tub for some fresh grapes or melon. But four individual tubs with nooks and crannies, silicon vents and toggles. And as a household without a dishwasher or the space to get one, the washing up that this generates is intolerable. Man. It is too much. Too much, I say. Just fill up your bathtub with Milton and dunk it in there for like an hour.

You're good to go. How does Milton feel about that? Is it aesthetically pleasing? Yes, it helps keep one more thing neat and tidy in this cluttered and hectic world. But does an apple need to be pre-slice and boxed up to take to work? Does a satsuma really need to be kept inside a box? Do the matching fork and spoon need to be secured in their own compartment? I will always betray myself through laziness.

I will just eat an apple because I'm too lazy to slice it. But I like eating a slice. Somebody slices me an apple. I'm pretty happy. Like I'm like, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm like, damn, this is, this is, this is how the other half eat apples, you know, not like some savage. You're just shoving a whole round apple into your mouth and taking a big bite and your dentures are falling out or like they're exploding in your mouth because of the impact.

Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, before we go waxing lyrical about apples, we've got to make a decision here, lads. And it's going to, this matters. Right. We're the jury. We're doing a room 101 on the bento lunch. No, we're not. I like this. You hate the Brento lunchbox. The argument is he has to wash it up. So listen, there's multiple options here. One, you could just suck it up and wait. And they may get bored of even like filling it up, Jeremy, and actually using it because it's such a tedious thing to make in the first place. Option two is that you get something really equally tedious for them to do as part of their cleaning.

That's remarkably pettily of you. You start spilling a packet of crisps on the floor. it over with your car so it can't be used anymore. Just say shit, it fell out of the car when I was backing up and then I ran over it by accident. Can I be honest? Just, just clean the fucking box. If you love your partner, if you love your girlfriend, as you say, just clean the fucking box. If my wife came home with a bento box.

It's a nice thing to do. I probably sigh quite a bit, but a lot of sighing, actually. It's not going to take that much longer. Every time I would do. Every time I filled up the sink to like. wash it. Yeah. Just wash it first.

You get the sick, get all the suds in there. Give it a good rubble, rubble around. And then just give it a nice wash. Because think about this. Every time she has that lovely, clean, all in one, stackable bento lunchbox for lunch, she's thinking, I know he loves me because he takes the extra time to clean my lunchbox. Another funny thing you could do is in every compartment in the box just put porridge. So it's like the same thing, like all the way through.

And then we need to make a decision. Is he cleaning the lunchbooks or not? Is he cleaning it or not? Yeah, he's got to clean it, realistically. No, no, I don't think so. Look, I think you got a... That's one vote for, one against Lewis. I'm sorry, I'm voting.

Yes, he should clean it. The council has spoken. That's two to one. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to clean the lunchbox. You're going to see this guy on 24 hours in police custody next week. He's disassembled her and put her in on bento lunchbox. Yeah, yeah, all of her parts, all her body parts are in there. I could not fucking clean it one more time.

No comment. he's looking at a no comment he's just going crazy in the booth she filled it up with porridge in every compartment that she ran it over I ran it over with my car

it was stuck in my car and put the bits in a front of my luxembourg yeah I would just clean it begrudgingly and then in a couple of years time when something goes wrong

you can just say well I would have had much more time to do it if I wasn't cleaning your stupid fucking lunchbox all the time, you know? Like, you could throw it back in her face at some point. For people who haven't seen this picture, the lunchbox is like a totem pole. Do you know what I mean? It's over the top.

It's not like a plastic box. It's 10 boxes. Wait, you're having to get a totem poles now. Who made this, anyway? Let's carry on. Okay. This is from Thomas. I was recently catching up with last few months of podcasts and noticed a few references

to the cheeky girls and their potential gig schedule. Yeah. Oh, we should get them on. They are actively touring still, by the way. Indeed. I was studying at Salford University last year. There was a welcome weekend showcase. As still as cheek as I was just as the before-inced department.

The students were invited to play some music on a small temporary stage on campus for about 15 minutes each in return for a 20-pound Amazon voucher. With myself playing a bit of piano and having a friend who could sing, we practiced a couple of songs, headed to campus, keyboard under arm, to find out that the star headliners for the day were none other than the cheeky girls. Yeah, absolutely. They play for about 30 minutes, basically playing long. longer versions of their two hits, then stood around for pictures with students. I'm presuming they were paid more than their $20,000 Amazon voucher each, but didn't like to ask. This is unfortunately my biggest claim to fame, having played on the same stage as the cheeky girls, other than seeing Freddie Flint off from the other side of a field on a school

trip. He's a cricket player. Do you have any similar stories of tenuous links to minor celebrities that you've bumped into in public? Well, I mean, I've done a couple of events with other YouTubers and stuff, if that counts. but not none that I'm like, you know, I was like, whoa, I can't believe I met this person or that person or whatever. But I guess they're kind of like minor celebrities. But otherwise, no.

I don't have any celebrity stories. I don't think I've met any. I think Lewis has met quite a few, actually. Yeah. You've had quite a few of them visit the office. I saw Christopher Eccleston outside their pub in Bristol where we all drink. Really? One time.

I saw David. Billaband or a train. We have have some smaller interaction with celebrities over the years. Yeah. Donald Ross, not that one.

Bill Bailey, Bill Bailey, what do you mean not that one? There's the ice agent Jonathan Ross. Oh, shit.

Yeah, that's right. That one day when Jonathan Ross opened up his Twitter and he was like, fuck. Oh, God. I didn't shoot anybody.

I've got to work on my Jonathan Ross. Well, I don't think you need to. He's not going to be the new prime minister. that he says, how does he speak? Is it like that? Jonathan Wos.

Yeah, he can't pronounce his R's properly so they come out as doubles youth. Please, get out of the car, I'll suit you in the face. Ruiz Wadder. He wouldn't be releasing Wodger. No, I just couldn't prison. I just couldn't think of anything else with more R's in it.

But yeah, that's basically the whole joke around Jonathan Ruff. We'll send you to Pwetherney, Althabwe. You sounded like Tori boy there. White Cliff was swast. Here's this one. I've been trying to convince my boyfriend who lives in Argentina to get into you guys, meaning to listen to the Triforce. But as in Argentine, he has some reservations about British people.

So it's been hard, but I've been making some progress. Every once in a while, I'll show him a Yox Car's classic or a Triforce clip, and he gives me the most disinterested response. Today I had the brilliant idea of which video would convince him I put on the classic Christmas song, A Carrot for a cop. As he screen shared the video with me, I heard absolute dead silence from his microphone, the entire video. The complete lack of any sniggers or laughs.

And when the video ended, I saw him dislike the video, closed the stream and say, well, that was something. I thought this was very funny. I swear he's not xenophobic, just very nationalistic. Listen, no. Your Argentine boyfriend needs to understand that they invaded sovereign British territory and got their fucking ass handed to them

and they deserved it. Take that Argentina. Don't invade people. Don't do it. Don't fucking do it. So I say that as a country with a long history of invading people, they won't like you for it.

In fact, it's a terrible thing to do. So fuck you. The thing is, I think it's, I think some of this stuff just needs like some more context or whatever. Because like there's been plenty of times where somebody's been like, oh, this is fucking hilarious to go to watch this. And I've watched something like stone face, not laughing, wasn't in the mood,

just didn't get it. You know, sometimes you have to like discover these things like on your own. And at the time you discover them, you're in the mood to be into like stuff or whatever. You know, you'll have like a different mentality about it. It's like it's hard to convince somebody to like something. You have to, you have to let them just kind of figure it out on the own. that we can swap for it. Like, I'm just thinking, is there anything?

Like, is there, like, a bento box solution to this? Can we, like, take a bit of their stuff? I wonder if there's, like, a really famous, like, current Argentinian comedian. There must be, right? Every country's got to have, like, in their culture, in their language, a comedian, right? But, like, if you listen to them, you would be like, what the fuck? Like, it just, it wouldn't work. You'd have to, you have to be, like, in that culture to get it, probably.

Right? Yeah. The same reason why, like, say, for example, Americans wouldn't necessarily find all British comedians funny or even most of them. Some stand out, obviously, but some of them will just be talking about stuff you've never heard about before. Yeah. And then it loses a lot of the context and the humor.

Having had a few Argentinian friends over the years, the whole thing with Las Malvinas, which is what they call the Falkland Islands, it's a massive distraction that the Hunter governments that they've had in the past have gone to fight. fire the people up. Like a lot of, you know, strong man dickhead leaders do is like, huh, with the problem is these dickheads over here and like invasion and war, war, because that makes them feel powerful and it takes all of their, the people's frustrations and just redirects them away from the people that are responsible towards a country. Yeah, invade someone. Exactly. That's exactly it. People love a war.

They love a bloody good war. So anyway, is Javier Millet, is he the, because he's in charge. He's the chastel guy, yeah. Is he one that we like or not? No, he's very bad. He's a very bad guy. Okay. It's very hard to know, honestly. It's hard to keep up with all the fascists, but it's true. All right. So this is a long-time listener from a Malaysian lad, okay?

From ages 14 to 17, I fought Mai Tai, Muay Thai? Muay Thai? The fighting. On the Malaysian Thai border in hidden jungle warehouses, because gambling on fights is illegal in Malaysia. Now that is a fucking banger of an opening sentence. Yeah. What?

The Tlaad fought in hidden jungle warehouses, he did moit, moitai, anyway, he fought. Phones were confiscated, cameras banned, and if you weren't a fighter or a part of a fight crew, you couldn't keep your device. The Thai syndicate blocs openly carried AKs and shotguns, standing next to screaming men placing bets. The fights were much more brutal because lots of money was invested. One night, my fight was delayed for over an hour. No internet that deep in the jungle, so I put my earphones in and listened to a downloaded

TriForce episode in the locker room after wrapping my hands. Time flew by, and suddenly I'm near in the end of the episode. My uncle, who was also my coach, suddenly slapped my back so hard, one earphone flew out and he shouted, get up now, you're on. I stood up, body completely cold, slightly dazed, and having absin-mindedly smoked nearly a pack of cigarettes, I was kind of overconfident because I thought my opponent would be another Malay lad like me and of a similar build. Then they announced my opponent, a late replacement, a foot taller than me, an African dude

named Boutu. I completely lost it. What is this story? To episode 32 of the Trifist podcast, Poutu, Poutu, and You, too. He thought I was mocking him. I generally couldn't stop giggling. So he's got, he's finding a guy called Boutu, and he'd just been listening to the episode, Poutu.

Okay, so he couldn't stop laughing about them. I'd beaten taller guys like him plenty of times before with my specialty, leg kicks. I couldn't use my elbows because of his reach advantage. Good specialty. But once he started hammering their legs, it's a great specialty. Once he start hammering their legs, that disappears. I was drilling his thighs with my kicks over and over, and two rounds in, his legs were visibly wrecked, red swollen,

starts getting higher and stiffer every exchange. He was almost done, and I knew it, but I had to play it safe because of his reach, but I'd mentally, I'd already won. Between rounds, I kept laughing at him, not in trying to be disrespectful, I just generally found his name was Butu, and it made me very fun, it made me laugh,

which made him even angrier, which made it even funnier. So he keeps on kicking him, pow, poo, poo, pow, he's kicking him. And then he got overconfident. His eyes glaze over, not from fear, not from panic. He's, as he puts it, pure Triforce brain. I was looking at his leg, thinking about the podcast, thinking about how stupid this all was when he hit me with a clean hook, lights out.

The next thing I remember is waking up on a concrete floor where the towel rolled under my head in a warehouse guarded by men with assault rifles, with my uncle asking me if I knew where I was. That was one of only five losses I ever took in my professional career. Jesus Christ. One of only three times I've been knocked out. out, a permanent stain on my record, and he blames us for it. Well, Agen, I'm very sorry.

Man, we got our own little Jerry here. Sorry, Cybers just coming to the podcast. I wondered what that noise was. Lewis was dying. I was rubbing his bag, and I went, ooh. So I didn't want to, like, jump scare him. So I wanted to make, like, a soft noise and a gentle gesture. Right, right, right.

I don't just be right, motherfucker! I didn't want to just, you know. Sorry for swearing on your pot. It's okay, we'll edit it out. Yeah, I've got to go record prominence anyway. Oh, I enjoy. So this is probably going to go out before the first episode of prominence does. It's nice.

Your lovely warm ears, Lewis. Thank you. It's a really lovely and warm. Lovely and warm. Oh, it's lovely little pop-in from my best friend. Oh, it's good, in it. I enjoyed that email from the fighter. That is funny.

And funny that we somehow managed to wreck his mojo as well with our bad podcast. So is he blaming the fact that he got distracted by the podcast? It sounded like he was. Yeah, it sounded like he was kind of blaming us a little bit. And then him finding it funny made the guy furious. Yes. Yeah. It was raped.

And he was distracted and laughing too much. much to win the fight was the essence. So apologies. If you've ever been in a fight and you've lost because of us, go ahead and email in. Well, that's the classic thing they say, you know, what classic saying that is. You know what they say? Hils or wounds.

Laughter. Good bit of laughter. Hils was in this case, it was the opposite. Indeed. Laughter got you knocked out and could have even killed you. There you go. Well said. for still being able to have the mental

fortitude to compose and send us that email. Yes, thank you. This is probably long after the fact. I don't think he started composing it like the moment he woke up on the concrete floor, you know. We live in an age where if someone had posted that story on Reddit,

no one would possibly believe that it was real and they would assume it was AI. But the little details, like the name of TriForce Episode 32 and the Boutu, it makes it believable. And I believe that. You're very suspicious of the emails that we go. I'm just suspicious of all things on the internet now.

I do. You know. Fair, fair, fair. But thank God for you guys writing in with your real honest, real non-AI songs and stories. Real non-AI songs and stories as well. Long may that continue. Let us do that.

This is from Stephen. This is about missing out on connections with other people that you might want to have sex with. Right. So not seeing. the signs missing out on the obvious invitations. We got a lot of these. Yeah, well, we spoke about it, and people have emailed in, and now we've started to catch up

with the emails a little bit. This is one of those. I was at a house party with a bunch of friends at a girl's house that I really liked. We were having a BBQ. That means barbecue. It wasn't starting. Thanks for clarifying that. I was going back and forth.

I just wanted to clear that up. Going back and forth from my house getting lighter fluid. She was really thankful and was giving me lots of drinks. To cut to the end of the story, I ended up locked out of my house and asked to I could sleep at hers. While I was sat on the couch downstairs, she asked if I wanted to come upstairs with her. The words that came out of my mouth were,

nah, you're okay, the couch is pretty comfy. Good night. I think about this from time to time, and it makes me want to smash my head against a wall due to my fucking stupidity. Thanks, Stephen, kiss. Stephen, it happens. It happens.

Sometimes you're in an innocent, you've had a lovely day. You're not thinking of sex all the time. You're thinking, what a lovely offer. But no, no, no, please, I'm fine on this sofa, not realize that actually she wants you to come upstairs and have sex with her. It happens. Don't worry too much about it.

What if she didn't even want you to go upstairs and have sex with her? What if she was going to take you upstairs and show you like her vast collection of like toenail clippings or something? You might have dodged a bullet. Right. Or Pokemon cards. Or Pokemon cards. Women just be more obvious. Is all I'm saying to that one.

How could she be more obvious? Yeah, she was being pretty obvious. But I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about it. Sometimes the, you know, the world just has a way. You know, you might. You might find that actually it's worked out better that that didn't happen. So don't beat yourself. Social interactions are difficult for all of us.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure that this was a, this is a good thing that this didn't happen. Well, it's not. You're just trying to make Stephen feel better. Yeah, of course I am. Why not? Okay. That's my good deed for today. I don't have to do any more deeds now.

Now we can just do regular deeds. Yeah, exactly. Now we just do it. Mr. Deeds is clogging off. I'm done. Oh. This is about Costa coffee and cafe chains. Yes.

So that is four words that started with C, and one of them was not a hard sea. Costa Coffee Cafe Chains. Yeah. Yeah. You talked in the mailbag about Greg's, Costa, etc. I worked at Cafe Niro for two years. I'd give you some insider info.

A classic cafe. Nero, indeed, in my experience, were wank. My immediate team were great, but area and regional management is dog shit. Our store was 35 to 40 degrees at all times. Jeez, that's hot. And they would not pay for air conditioning to be fixed. On top of that, the old customers, cunts, forcibly unstopping and closing the door because of the draft.

So they'd prop the door open to try to let some air in and the staff, the customers would just close it. My manager had heat-sensitive epilepsy. Management didn't give a shit. The heat knackered the fridge. They didn't give a shit until I found a sandwich with mold on it, despite being well-in-date. They put a thermometer in the fridge. It was 18 degrees. That's unbelievable.

That's crazy. This is in Centigrade, by the way. Celsius, sorry. So if you don't know what a Celsius is, 18 is much too hot for a fridge. That's short weather. 18 is like, I feel like 18 is like maybe like 60 Fahrenheit or something like that. Well, I can tell you right now, actually, what's 18 degrees in Fahrenheit? It is 64.4 Fahrenheit.

Well done. You were very close, Sips. Well done. I'm so smart. I'm so good at computers. You are so smart. Well done, mate. I type that so fast.

Lots of other stories, making us work alone constantly despite multiple violent incidents in and around the store, giving us zero budget for maintenance, mandatory unpaid training, etc. From what I hear from employees, Starbucks and Costa are as bad, if not worse. TLDR, the people actually doing the work are lovely the management. We're in my experience a shower of cunts, bereft of all moral integrity. I feel like a lot of big companies are like that. The people that you directly work with are all fine.

They're all people who just need to work to live. they need to turn up they need to make some money uh and uh most of them have a decent enough attitude about it or whatever and then middle management are a fucking nightmare but that's every company ever across the world middle management are the worst they don't do anything they they brand themselves as experienced people managers they never are they're fucking horrible with people they're horrible at managing anything uh they wouldn't be able to fix anything in an emergency or do anything they're fucking useless uh And that's true of like every company.

The problem is, the problem is is that managers seem to think they're above their stuff. Yeah. Whereas in fact, they should be providing, they should be assistance. They should be supporting them. They should be, a manager should be a shared assistant amongst all of the team. But no one thinks, but I think it's just because the way that the things are set up, if they're, you know, if they're paid more or if they're above them in the hierarchy, it informs people's attitudes towards them. And it's the wrong way to go about thinking of manager. area or attitude.

In my opinion. Yeah, I agree with that. So apparently a PS Costa is indeed owned by Coca-Cola, and they apparently make a much higher profit of those pre-packaged ice coffees and the cost of machines you see in supermarkets than they do from the stores. Yeah, of course. So apparently they're closing the less busy stores with a view to eventually just have it as a sub-brand of packaged drinks, no stores at all.

I say bring that on. Yeah, it's basically happened in Jersey. We used to have about four or five costas, and they were fine. and they've all closed down except for one now, but those machines are in all the gas stations. They're in all the supermarkets. And if you ever see them open one up, they're hilarious. They're not at all like high tech or anything.

It's like a fucking Windows XP computer with like a bunch of tubes and shit. Like it probably costs them nothing to make those. And they're right. They probably make a fucking shit ton of money because they're still charging you like three pounds for a cappuccino. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And it costs nothing.

I just have to, all they got to do is fill a bag with some like ground up coffee and then fill up a, fill up a canister with powdered milk and away you go. That's it. It costs them nothing. There you go. This is from Cheers, lads, have a good Christmas. So this was before Christmas. This was just December.

Had a long drive today on a whim, went back to Triforce number one, sell your kids as a bit of nostalgia. There were many great bits, but one that stood out was when Lewis, rambled on, sorry Lulu, about how his ideal future was one in which there was a bunch of content being released where you never had to watch or play something that wasn't new and that you thought that idea was beautiful. I'm here to personally say, fuck you, because the monkey's paw curled one of its fingers and now we have TikToks and reels and shorts and all this other bullshit that I think is objectively not beautiful. Your response.

We do live in a world of infinite content now, yeah, where I think you could probably watch something different every second of the day until the end of your natural life. But a lot of it is just absolute dog shit. But I think that is... Wait, have you not been listening to Orbology, then? You can watch a video of a dog taking a shit as well if you want to. You can watch...

Orbology is this woman called Christina Mendez. It's videos where she looks directly in the camera. She's very beautiful. and she just gives you positive affirmations and said things like, you're doing great. But then she also, it'll just cut back to her just going, yeah, and doing like a weird dance and saying, me look. She's got all these like verbal sort of things that she adds in. It's great.

It's hyper-edited. And she just says, the orb has given you the power. It's like there's just hours and hours and hours of these videos that she pumps out. But it's very distracting. It's really strange. Look into it. Orbology. Orbology.

They call her the mind-control Latin. She's beautiful and she's in your brain. Yeah, orbology. This is about the great Wimpy trade. We were talking about Wimpy the other week. We mentioned how there weren't many Wimpses left in the UK, and I looked up the headquarters, and it turns out it's in Johannesburg, South Africa. As someone from the UK with family in South Africa, I can sort of explain.

For whatever reason, Wimpy began to open locations in South Africa. They're often attached to a chain of petrol stations in the country and can be found in both massive shopping malls and small crossover towns along with major highways and cross-country roads. They focus on all-day breakfast but have adopted to the country with regional offerings, becoming one of the largest chains in South Africa. Wow. In a sort of reverse situation, Nando's, despite offering Portuguese food, is originally from

South Africa. After opening UK-based locations, they expanded massively with the headquarters in London and are now considered a British staple restaurant. My question is, do you think Wimpy was a way? worthy trade for Nandoes. I absolutely love Nandoes. So give us Nandoes, you can fucking keep Wimpy. Yeah, but Wimpy.

You can't just, you can't do. That's it. That's all I got. It's wimpy. It's wimpy. It is, look, it's nice to see Woolworth still going in Australia or whatever. Wait, it is. It is different store.

Woolworths is still going on. It's nice to see something that used to be big in the UK and was a staple of our country live on in another way somewhere else. In a different gods. Blockbuster, GameStop. All the greats are coming back. Well, maybe not Blockbuster. HMV is kind of coming back, though.

They've got a couple of stores. Who's buying CDs? It's not. It's vinyl. It's all vinyl. Oh, yeah. So they make all their money. Well, see, no, there's a nice independent record shop, vinyl shop in Twickenham.

And I don't want an HMV to come in and just be a big company and fuck them. I don't know if HMV will ever be that big company again. Good. There are. There are. There are a handful of them. And there's a big HMV on, is it an Oxford Street, I think, in London? It's like a four-floor HMV.

But I think it's like one of the oldest HMVs and they just managed to keep it going somehow. But yeah, lots of vinyl. But apparently people are buying a lot of vinyl now. Yeah, no, very popular with the kids because it's got that retro thing. It's like, it's nice. I mean, if you think about the difference between owning a record with the beautiful, you know, the sleeve and the double fold with the artwork and the lyrics. and everything like that, the record taking that out, putting it on the turntable, the sound, the sort of mechanical nature of it, it's very appealing.

I mean, it's mad to think that even when we were growing up, vinyl was not in massive circulation. Yeah, it was old then. You could only get it secondhand. No, that's not true. I have multiple records I bought as singles and albums that came out on vinyl, new. What, in the 80s, in the 90s? In the 90s, yes, absolutely. It's pretty rare, I think, though.

I have, when I was a much younger man, and I was into like Green Day and Oasis and all the stuff that was coming out, blur. We got a bunch of vinyl. I don't remember the memory printing vinyl for any of that, but you might, you, well, I mean, if you got it, then you, then you are right. I got it. I got it. I got it. I don't know if it was in as massive circulation as it would have been prior. It would have still been very niche. But it was still released, take CD and vinyl. It would come out on all three. Crazy. Because it was no streaming terms.

But yeah, you can get it. So the Australian Woolworth's. has really unrelated to Woolworth's, either it was in the UK, but also apparently even that was an American store originally and it's now German or whatever. So fuck knows what's going on. It's all nonsense, isn't it? God, remember BHS? Yeah, British home stores. BHS used to go in there. There used to be a cafe in there and stuff.

You got fish and chips for your lunch and then buy some crappy clothes. What was that one that had a something and C and C and A? C and A, that's right. Yeah, C and A. I think they're still going in some form. Oh, pretty honest. Still going in Europe. Yeah, 1,250 stores in Europe. 330 in Brazil.

Claire's accessories went into administration. I don't know if you heard. It's another classic. Yeah, I heard about that. Yeah. There's one over here. So, CNA was never a British company. It was always, it was German.

I didn't know this. I thought CNA was. It probably stands for like something German then, and that's why it makes sense, you know. What's where else is going? H&M are they, what's that stand for? H&M is still going. H and Moritz. Is that what it stands for?

New look. Dorothy Perkins is gone. You remember Dorothy Perkins? That went. Dorothy Perkins. United Colors of Beneton. You remember that? At least we got Greggs.

Oh, this must be still British. I'm sure Greg's still going strong on the mainland, but not here. They opened a bunch of Greggs and they immediately closed them. They were open for like a week. You remember Laura Ashley? No. Yes. So Laura Ashley was like, it was for Mums, basically.

It was like nice, gently patterned cushions and dresses. Oh, like, Katzhen sort of stuff. It's like that. Laura Ashley did a whole bunch of things, like clothes, and they also did like curtains and shit like that. Boilies and shit. When we were in Japan, the department store that we were in, one of the department stores,

had a Laura Ashley section. Wow. I couldn't believe that. I haven't seen anything to do with Laura Ashley in Asia. Because I think it's like the whole, when something's foreign, it has a mystique attached to it. Yeah.

So it would be the equivalent to a brand in Japan that no one gives a shit about. You relocate it to Oxford High Street. Suddenly people like, oh, is that Japanese brand? Blah, blah, blah. Like Mugi. If you go to Japan, Mugi costs pennies. You come over here, you go to a Mugi.

It costs fucking 10 pound for a pencil. Some old brands have come back, though. Like soda streams came back big time. Oh, baby. We've got a soda stream. It's fucking awesome. They were done for like the longest time. And then all of a sudden, I don't know what happened.

But they're just, they are so back. Like, it's crazy. If you're an adult and you're wondering about whether to get a soda stream, I want you to bear this in mind. If you enjoy tonic water, with a drink vodka tonic, gin and tonic, something like that. You can get tonic water, soda stream. So you will never run out of tonic ever again.

You don't have to buy eight bottles for a summer party. Just fucking churn out. Bam, bam. You're making tonic. A summer candlelight supper. Give me one minute. Here's your tonic. This is not an ad for soda stream.

Get a soda stream, kids. This week's sponsor is definitely soda stream. I don't have one. So I couldn't recommend. But I just know that this is a thing that. people were always like, oh, I always wanted to get a soda stream when I was a kid, but my parents wouldn't let me. This is like in the 80s. And then soda stream disappeared for decades and now it's back.

I found it awkward to have the CO2 gas canister subscription, whatever. You have to pay X pound a month to get fucking gas canisters like it. I didn't like it. It was frustrating. Yeah. I found it inconvenient and awkward. Right. But I also do like have fizzy stuff.

I like fizzy water. I like... You can make it. Did you watch that YouTube video where that guy figured out the Coke recipe over like three years of his life? Jesus, no. It's an incredible video. He basically found out the secret Coke recipe. Don't send out.

Don't watch it, Flats. It's brilliant. He makes it out of, like. Don't barge down your door in the middle of the night and kill you. It's really. Secret Coke recipe. It's got a little bit of vinegar in it and stuff. It's crazy.

Coke Secret Recipe is a world's biggest style. Perfectly replicating Coca-Cola. That one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By lab coats. Watch that. video, it's brilliant. I loved it. This is, this one's from Samuel. My kid has one of those music boxes where you buy toys to go with it. And when you put the toy with the box, it plays

music, stories, etc. Based on the toy. Yeah, like a Tony. Yeah. It's a Tony box. That's exactly what it's called. Yeah, yeah. My kids have those. Right. I've, I don't remember these, to be honest with you, but I believe you. One of the toys she has now with it is a bee that goes on a journey and meets other insects along the way. Right. And they sing songs and teach kids basic stuff about the insect world. Sounds hunky-dory on the surface. It's a UK-made audiobook song list, and all the insects have regional accents.

Here are some of the examples, and this is where, according to Samuel, it gets a little bit problematic. The praying mantis who'd bite your head off, well, that's a Scot. So the Scottish person gets the praying mantis. I'm glad it's not an Asian, though. Right.

The beetle, where do you think he's from? He's got a Scouts accent. He's from Liverpool. He's got a South Saxon. Fine. He is a dung beetle, a bit unnecessary. The worm is from the West Country and sings about how much they love playing in the mud. The worm has like a Cornish accent or like a Bristol accent.

The stink bug is Welsh and sings about how he knows he stinks, but to hear me, he smells sweet. Oh my God. There's no good insect to be, really. The butterfly. Obviously, must be a posh, queenly London accent. So all the other accents, they're like shitty insects. You could do Irish though. You could do a little Northern Irish butterfly.

You could. You could. They often do that with the fairy accents, don't they? What, make them Northern Irish? The septodile. It's all Irish. These are my words. You'll not be wandering around our forest.

Without a magical pixie dust on you. Pineapple and jays on a stick. Pineapple legend. I have made a peaceful and legitimate request. We're fucking fairies I love that We've had loads of emails about the 6-7 rant that I had in the previous episode

Thank you for all the corrections You're right There are definitely things that we We didn't understand Had when we were kids that was stupid and meaningless But I've also had an email I just want to finish this off with this is a teacher writing in about 6-7.

You took a lot of flack about 6-7. I did, and that's absolutely fair. There was a good thread on the sub-reddit about it where a lad... Actually, let me read you. I know just two more things. I know this has been a long one, but this guy, this was a really funny story. This immediately made me completely reconsider my opinion. Throwing my hat into the ring, when I was a kid, there were lots of random phrases

we threw around with no real origin or meaning, but they never spread much further than our school. Sure. One kid said the word stroke in a funny accent once, and somehow this evolved into someone stroking someone's head when they missed a shot in footy and saying, stroke in the accent. So it became this sort of you suck meme. Eventually, stroke became like,

Mao F from Borit. Everyone recognized it. People just said it in an exaggerated accent in reaction to almost anything. Most people in the school didn't even know the stroke kid. They just adopted it, and the parents were left baffled. So I understand that sort of, I can imagine that meme. Strach, you know, like that's a whole thing that becomes funny at your school.

I was just saying I didn't think that we'd had a meme that was so meaningless that it spread so widely in such a short amount of time, and I didn't understand its origin. Here is an email from Kara, a teacher. I'm a frequent listener of the podcast. I'd like to give my input on the most recent episode. That was the 342. I'm a 24-year-old trainee maths teacher from Norfolk, and in most recent term before Christmas, you would not believe the number of times I heard 6-7,

or the mistakes I've made from accidentally having a math answer involve 6-7. As I chronically online girl in my mid-20s, I knew this would be something that would come up before I got into teaching. Same with Italian brain rock. At the start of my placement school, me and all the other teachers were annoyed by the concept of the 6-7 meme, as it would cause disruption with the students in the class by causing an array of laughter as the meme became increasingly popular.

However, as the months went on, something changed, almost the tone of the meme changed and it had almost become ironic somehow, especially with students. 0.67, for example, would be used as an answer and the tone changed and students were laughing at it ironically, making fun of the meme itself and the way people react to it by reacting to 6.7.

Side note, the use of the word irony may not be correct here. I'm a maths teacher, not an English teacher. I agree with what peers said about this meme not being like anything else because I do not remember any other meme changing to being ironic this quickly. Maybe I'm wrong and this is not the case for everyone. So the kids are already turning on the 6-7 meme and the teachers are struggling with it. I don't know if teachers let us know.

Have you struggled with every meme that's been popular? Has ballerina cappuccina been a problem for you guys and the same with it 6-7-has? Well, look, okay. I think that this is part of it, though. Like, as soon as everything's accelerated, right? The spread is accelerated by TikTok. You know, some TikTok gets popular and it's shown to everyone through the algorithm. So they all see this thing.

and then it becomes this, it's not just one guy does a funny thing on the playground. It's one guy does a funny thing on TikTok and everyone on the playground everywhere in the world sees it, right? That's how it spreads so massively. But then also, because it's spread so massively, everyone like Jimmy Kimmel's doing it. And as soon as he's done it, it's not, it's like over. It's basically. It becomes cool and then it loses its cool. Yeah, as soon as the prime minister has done it in the classroom, because the teacher was like,

oh, don't do the 6-7 meme, Kirstama. You know, it's banned here. He killed it. He actually did them a favor by doing that. He destroyed the meme. He destroyed the meme. And so they solved the problem. We need to get the prime minister to do all of these shitty new means as quick as possible.

You're right. So that they can be over. You know, that's just it. So no, I can see the way it works. Everything is algorithms and trading, you know, change the financial markets. So everything's much, much quicker than it used to be. People's reactions to things are immediate rather than, you know, people can just pick up their phone wherever they are and do a trade, whereas they used to have to send a letter to their broker.

A dear broker, I would like to quickly trade in my ample shares as I have noticed they're declining quickly. Please do this forthwith. And then two weeks later, you know, your broker gets the letter and goes to the, you know, the stock exchange and finally trades. I mean, it's not as, it's very different now. Everything's fast and furious. It is. And I, for one, I'm not here for it. No, bring back the old day.

Bring back the old days. Yeah. Do you mean? Make everything slower for me. I'm, I'm old. Make everything slower down. Yeah. Make America slow again.

Make life sluggish again. Take America slow again. Do not, do not use that as a catchphrase. That does not look good on the hat even though. Oh, fucking. Oh, dear. Right. Well, that's this week's mailbag.

Thank you for all the submissions. All the jingles, all the emails. It's pleasure as usual. Good, good luck. Stay cool and frosty. And we'll see you next time for some more. Stay warm and toasty. There's a really passionate ending to the podcast.

Just not autopileting. Thanks for the email. Thanks for the emails. Thanks for your being gone. See you. Bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye.