Triforce! - The Shanghai Guy | Triforce #366

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

Triforce! Episode 366! Pyrion's back from Shanghai and recaps his story in the style of an epic poem! Lewis is worried he's getting scammed by builders and Sips get 67'd in Center Parcs. We've been watching some real tat on TV, Pyrion is convinced there is nothing out there in the observable universe and we learn about even more variations of the evil AI. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickax. Do you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siyya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better.

Apparently that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Today, I am once again recording in my garage as it is a bright and sunny day and the roofers are at work. They don't come when it rains. So you guys, I've had a week of my roof being half off my house. Oh, my God, Sips, I'm about to go crazy.

I know. This was my life for like two years. It was unbelievable. So we had this big thunder. Understorm, P-Flax hi, sorry. You've come back from China. You've got a million stories to tell. I have.

You've got all sorts of stuff. We can't wait to hear. First, we have to hear about some home improvement woes. Yeah. Workman woes. He's gone. I don't know where he is. Is he even here?

Yeah, that's what they do. He's crashed. Yeah. He's disconnected. No, P-Flax. Oh, sorry. I thought you were talking about the workmen. P-Flax ain't here.

Because that's what they do. That is what they do. Oh, my God, that's what they do. Like, I got up one morning and they started work at seven. Yeah. And I had a shower. I got some breakfast. And I looked out there at nine and they'd all left.

Yes. And I was like, what? And they didn't come back. It was a son. I assume they were another job or something. They do. That's what they do. But like, we were the same.

You know, they would turn up at seven. You'd be like, oh, this is great. If they turn up every day at seven, work a full day. And then, you know, do that for two weeks. or whatever, we're done. Like, it'll take no time at all. And they would turn up. Yeah, like, when they turn up and they do stuff, they get so much done.

I'm like, wow. Look at how much does people? But they turn up at seven one day, work for like two hours, disappear, and they don't come back for like three weeks. And you're just like, what is going on? So we had like at this week of lovely weather and they got loads done. And then they were like, okay, well, you know, it's going to be thunderstorms at the weekend. So, you know, we've made sure it's all watertight anyway.

I was, I woke up at like 3 a.m. on a Saturday and I was like, oh, I better check just just case because it was pouring with rain. And it was 3 a.m. and I was just scared because I was like, they said it's water time, but I'm scared. So I went up to the loft. It's like, it's like a waterfall. Yes. Into my, into my roof. Like, like, like, not just one leak, like 10 leaks. Like, there's water like pooling in this area. There's water streaming down. All of the wooden things. There's like the chimney was like, it was like a stream. I could feel it.

I was like holding kitchen roll. Jesus. Like tea towels against the fucking chimney stack where inside. And it was just flooding into my house and like all the ceilings are all brown and down. I can imagine you doing that. There's like flashes of lightning and everything. Flashes of lightning.

Oh, I was just listening. I was just listening. I don't want to interrupt. We can't hear him I thought I would be the one with I thought I was the one with bad incident No, it's not my internet I turned the sensitivity down

because you said that you could hear me echo Oh, right, you've been here the whole time We thought that you said. I haven't said anything. I haven't said, I've just been listening. I've just been listening. I've just been listening. All right, right, right, thank God.

He's here. But yes, oh my God, P-Flex, it's been the worst. And stuff like that has just been going on like just disaster after another. The kitchen guys have been sorting out the kitchen, but they've run in some problems, and it's taken like two weeks without a kitchen.

So we've been like eating off like a heat, like a little plug-in, gas hob and all of our plates in the lounge. It is the worst, dude. It is the worst. I'm having a hell of a time. I know. Just try doing that with three kids. Oh, my God.

Like, no, I'm not, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to like steal your thunder. He's not trying to one up. It's just a lot of bad memory. It's just a lot of shit, isn't it? God. I just every day I'm like kicking myself. I'm like, why did I buy this house? I'm like, I should have just got somewhere that was done.

I think most houses are like that. And funnily enough, even new builds when you buy them, it's fine for a while. And then, you know, there's always something. It doesn't matter what house you buy. There's always, there's always something. Something goes wrong or something craps out that needs to be replaced or something it wasn't done right in the first place. And oh, fuck me.

I know. But at least you have a house, you know, at least you managed to get one. You managed to get one house. So that's, I know. Well, yeah, it's just so such a lot to stress about. So, Pflats, you went to Shanghai. Yeah, I've been away. Did you actually go to Shanghai or did you just stay in a hotel bubble of work and

game? I'd say I did get some time around Shanghai, but I've actually, in order to sum up my trip, I have written a poem, if you'd like to hear the poem. He wrote a poem about his trip. I did. I wrote it this morning. Sure. It's probably a couple of minutes long, I'd say.

You don't mind waiting for that long. Right. It's a saga. Do you thank everybody that you met while you were there and stuff as well in the poem? No, there's not that kind of poem. It's just a description of things that have. Oh, my God. It's an epic poem.

Is it like The Odyssey? Are you, Matt Damon? A little bit, a little bit. Yeah. Okay. So, all right. Let's hear it. All right, here we go.

Scores of us, so some of it rhymes, some of it doesn't. It's a style. Okay. Could you not make them all rhyme, though? No, well, most of it rhymes, but not the first bit, because it's trying to deceive you into thinking it's not going to rhyme, but then it does. Right. Okay. I'll reserve my judgments for later.

Okay. Scores of us arrive at departures as those who arrived stream out of arrivals, Chinese and Lao Wei, that means foreigners, headed to the motherland. Oh, no, the desk, tells us, go. A day must pass before we'll know. Typhoon Dolphins' tempestuous eye is staring now at old Shanghai. Late, I make my entrance there to begin the task as interview air. The bored young players answer my questions, ignoring humorous interjections. My colleagues come from all four corners. The hotel now well stopped with foreigners. Two weeks passed. Two weeks passed faster than a

morning stool. I didn't get to use the pool. For insid pool, they had a rule. Swim caps a must. Despite this fool, being bereft of hair, they were uncool. The city, though, was open-armed. Shop I did, but came to harm, as scammers, villains, and the crook-ed, his cash they did attempt to took-ed. Jay, he wondered, what is the cost? Why this piece is so well-embossed, with symbols from the Orient, but these high prices, I lament for Lauei are to the merchants, to be ripped off so very urgent. Back then to work and tournament, Good Work Team Spirit, who represent the only three-time champion. Truly, their days are Halcyon. A journey home bereft of pleasure. Pudong Airport lacks any leisure. Seven hours at the

gate was spent before ATC did relent, and permit a foreign flight to leave, delayed because they shall deceive, and tell you that the plane is broken, but surely they do be a joking. For every China Airlines flight on time as scheduled did alight. But all airlines of foreign nature, according to local legislature, must be prevented from outperforming the state airlines terraforming. That's it. Wow. Wow. Gosh, there was a lot more rhyming in there than you led me to believe. It was a deception, a little bit of a deception there. It was good. That was good. That was good. I was going to complain because I was waiting for the bits that didn't rhyme that I didn't complain about I know.

But I didn't find that many at all, honestly. So there's not that. Some of them were a stretch. But yeah, so they will jack the price up if you're a foreigner. They just will. I tried to buy a hat because it was a hot day when I went out into the Bund, which is the downtown area. And I realized I'd left without my hat.

My head was starting to burn. So I popped into a shop to buy a hat. It was an official shop, feeler products everywhere. It was like their official store. And when I spotted the hat, the girl said, you want a hat? I was like, yes, please. And she said, here you go. and she took me to a corner round by the escalators

and tried to get me to pay her directly to her phone. Wow. You have to use this thing called WePay when you're out there, which is like, or AliPay, I think it is. We chat, Ali Pay and NMap or something, A-Map. It's like the three apps you have to have in China. All your other stuff isn't going to work. So Ali-Pay was like, this is a scam, don't pay.

I was like, all right? So I sort of told her no pay and left. She was very cross. I did manage to get one. But again, another shot, an Adidas shot. They tried to intercept me, and I managed to get to the desk and pay there. But they're just trying to, you know, cut corners here and there. I think apparently a lot of them work more than one job, which is not uncommon.

But as a result, they're very sleepy. So the whole time at the event, all the security guards, the drivers, anyone that's doing anything where they're like sat in a corridor all day, they're asleep half the time. So you sort of come past all these dozy lads who were meant to be checking badges and things like that, which was quite funny. They all seemed absolutely knackered. But yeah, it's an odd culture. But Shanghai, oh, my God, it's changed so much.

Really? Which is 2019. Yeah, 2019. I mean, back then, I think I came back and said it was terrible and I didn't want to ever go back. Yes. And I'll be honest with you, it's night and day. It is absolutely night and day. They cleaned it up like you wouldn't believe.

The air is clear. All the cars are electric. The place is just like, it's like they've done all the roads, all the streets. They put a lively sort of green areas everywhere. Nice. It's absolutely incredible. the transformation from last time. So yeah, I would recommend it.

I would now, without hesitation, recommend a trip to Shanghai. Whereas previously, I would not have done that. So yeah, it was really good. Great tournament as well. One of the best TIs that they've been. It was absolutely superb, amazing grand final as well. I completely forgot to tune in. Normally, I do like to watch a TI, but I think, for whatever reason, I just,

I mean, I knew you were there and everything. And I checked a couple of times to see if there was a game on. and I didn't really know when it started and it was a lazy attempt admittedly. Yeah, but it's also an eight hour time difference dude. Like let's say you checked at 10 a.m. True.

It would be 6pm there. And the games probably don't get started until 8 or 9 and then the final would have been in the middle of the night for you. Yeah. No, but I'm glad you had fun. I'm glad it went well because you were a little bit late heading out, right?

Because of the, sorry, I've said that that whole sentence while yawning. I'm not because I'm bored. I'm just tired. You have a second job. It's okay. There was the typhoon, the typhoon dolphin. Yeah, so I was delayed 24 hours.

But they put me on a direct flight, which was great. And it was with China Airlines, so it went off, left on time and landed on time and everything. And what was China Airlines like? Fine. China Eastern. China Eastern. It's like a big airline. It was fine.

But yeah, that was fine on the way out. And then on the way back, I was with Lufthansa, and it was a flight to Frankfurt and then Frankfurt home. Right. But the flight was delayed seven hours, so I missed my connection. I had to spend the night. I got to Frankfurt Airport at like 12.30 at night. Oh, my God. And when you fly, the foreign airlines flying out, don't fly, A, they don't fly through Russian airspace,

because for obvious reasons. Yes. But they also don't fly in a straight line over China. You have to do like this little zigzag route that they have told you, this is the route you have to take. Their airlines can go in a straight line, but yours have to go in this weird higgledy, biglety route. So it takes like five hours longer to get there because they don't want people to take foreign airlines. I want them to use the state airlines. So that's it. They discourage it. All the, all the, delayed flights were foreign airlines, all the China Eastern and all the other Chinese airlines will

even bang on time. It's like a deliberate tactic. And I know this. It's loads of little things like that. Yeah. But I know this because there were some pilots there that were taking our flight back to Germany. They weren't the pilots. They were just another crew. And one of them flies cargo a lot. And he says, they always delay you. He goes for nothing. They'll be like, yeah, wait. You've got to wait. It'll be about an hour. And then you wait an hour. And they'll like, oh, yeah, you've got to wait. It'll be another other other. They don't tell you why. They just delay you and delay you and delay you.

Yeah, it's crazy. He also told me he flies into places in China to pick up T-Moo stuff, and the cargo plane will fly in. They don't import anything. Normally you would bring stuff in and export stuff, but they're just like, no, no, export only. Like, they literally don't have a single thing that they want. They just shove the planes full of T-Moo stuff and on their go.

And it's crazy. Oh, God, why are there? That is insane. And it's just, yeah, and you know that stuff. is just all dog groomers that cost one pound for 10. It's just nonsense. But honestly,

the transformation is something. It really was. China was really something. If you follow the locals, you can get some real bargains. But if you go to the tourist spots, I mean, it would be the same in anywhere, really. It's like anywhere.

The prices are higher. But it is much higher. Like insane. It's not just like, oh, that's expensive. It's like, oh, we're actually actively trying to rip you off. But yeah, I think it's, That sounds like every store over here as well, whether you're a tourist or not.

It's just we've just accepted that we're just going to get fucking ripped off all the time. I don't think that's the case. If I went into a shop, like a high street shop, the person behind the counter isn't going to jack the price up. No. They will if you're a foreigner in Shanghai, they will just jack the price. No, I don't even think they could do it with a strange face. Like you're already paying like over and above the odds for everything that you're buying. I don't think they could possibly squeeze like an.

another neutral out of you if they tried. So, like, yeah, I guess like you just don't, you don't feel like you should be on your toes for scams in an official branded shop. No, no, exactly. You just assumed that that would be fine. It's really interesting. I had a similar thing where I've got these guys doing my roof and I've been paying them. And at one point, HSBC stopped the payment.

And so I was like, okay, I need to ring them up and tell them it's not a scam. And they started asking me all these questions. And they said, you know, start the phone call, they were like, like, we need you answer all these questions, honestly. And so they started asking me these questions. And they were like, you know, how do you know these guys? And I'm like, well, I, you know, the guy who's doing my, um, fixing my chimney knows these guys, these roofers.

And so that's how I know them. And so they're like, oh, so you didn't check any of their reviews. And I'm like, no. And they're like, oh, so you didn't, you haven't known them very long. And I'm like, no. have they started the work? And I'm like, well, yeah, but like, you know, they've got a lot more to do. And that it's doing, and basically by the end of it, the woman said, well, it sounds like

they're a scam. And I was like, I know it sounds that way. Like all these things that they describe, you could apply them right back to the bank as well. I don't know anybody at the bank. I don't know. Like, all these things. It's just like, you're a, you're also a scam under those terms. I could see them outside of my roof, like banging on it.

And I was like, you know, this is not, you know, I'm like, I'm like, are they trying to rip me off? Like, do you know what? So, like, I was going a bit crazy with it. But it's sort of, and eventually I had to talk to someone at a higher up and sort of say, look, please just put this payment through. I'm happy to, you know, take the risk of it being a scam. But I do want, I don't want to delay this process anymore.

Yeah. At the, they've got to pay scaffolders. Yeah, of course. All the laborers to come around. I think a lot of the time these guys are basically paying for it as it goes. They have to. Yeah, they're going to spare money in the bank. And that's why they disappear all the time because they have other jobs.

Because the thing is, if they were just working your job and they weren't getting paid regularly throughout, you know, they were just going to get paid when it was done or whatever, they'd have no money. They'd be able to do nothing. It's like a Ponzi scheme. They have to jump around all the time. They take your deposit to pay for the lay, pay for the stuff. for another job.

And then when that job's done, they get paid and they put that towards the stuff for your house. Yeah. At the end of ours, we had the painters in and the painters were, we again recommended through some other people that were doing stuff for us. And these guys were great. And they were really good because they worked like odd hours, which I know sounds a bit weird, but we were so done with the whole thing. And having people in during the day doing stuff when the kids.

kids were getting back from school and when we were trying to get kids off to school and we were just trying to live normally sort of thing. We were just so fed up with it. So these guys were coming in at like, you know, four or five o'clock in the evening, kind of like when a lot of the stuff was, the day stuff was done. And then they were just quietly working until like eight, nine at night, which was, which was fine. Like they, you know, they never bothered us or anything. But there's quite a bit of painting to do. But they were, we were, we were, we were paying them. cash in hand to do the work. And yeah, it was quite a bit of work. So I had to go to the bank and withdraw like, you know, a couple of grand to pay them when it was all done. And when when I went

to the bank to withdraw the money, the person's like, what's this money for? What are you going to do with this? Like, same as you. Like asking all these questions. And I felt like saying, I'm going to buy fucking tons of drugs with this. Like, I'm doing a huge, you know what I mean? Like, what do you want me to say. Like, it's my fucking money. Like, what do you, you don't need to know what I'm going to do with this. You know, I might just, like, shove it down somebody's G string. It's my money. I can do what I want with it. Like, what are you asking me for? Like, it's, it's crazy. And that's not even very, the thing is, 2,000 pounds in your hands, looks like the most money you've ever seen ever in your life, right? And then, then I'm, like, spending, like, I'm dropping,

like, you know, a guy's like, yeah, we need some new tiles or roof. That's going to be 10 grand. Oh my God or whatever. Justin, another streamer, every time he gets something done, they always quote 10 grand. So the running joke is that like everything he's ever had done costs 10 grand. But it does work out too about everything seems to cost 10 grand for some reason. Like it's always it's always 10 grand. Like oh, you need a new washer for your sink. That's probably going to be about 10 grand.

Like it's just always 10 grand somehow. There's a this. I'm not being scant if you're listening. These are all very nice people that I've been recommended. Some of the best scammers out there. They're polite. They're courteous. You know, they're just.

Well, okay, maybe. Fuck. Well, you know, if they leave my roof with a dome on it, like yours, Sips, then I know I'm in trouble. I'm more scared of legitimate companies going bankrupt on me. You're doing a shoddy job. Yeah, that's it. We're lucky. We didn't get the shoddy job, but we did have the known company go bankrupt midway through.

So that was a, I know. That was a fun one. Crazy. Yeah. But. You like that. Well, welcome. So she goes.

So she goes. Where you get scammed in the traditional way. How did you feel landing back in England, Flex? Did you have that, did you have that moment where you were like, what? Oh, I felt great. Kissing the ground. Yeah. No, I felt.

I felt great. Katie Perry. Yeah. It was like such a long time away. I'm still a little bit jet lag. Like, I'm waking up at like six in the morning still. Because when I was out there, it does feel like eight hours. And it wasn't really eight hours because, you know, China's all one time zone.

Yeah. So it feels like longer. It was just, it was so crazy. I was waking up at like 4.30 for ages. But it was a great trip. Listen, let me tell you something that'll cheer you guys up a little bit. I was at Center Parks with my family over the holidays. Of course.

Where else? My oldest, my oldest and my middle child wanted to go swimming like later on in the day. Like they, you know, they, they like going, they, they like to go swimming like, you know, after like six o'clock or whatever. And it's, you know, it's cool to be out later and go swimming and stuff. Like my son is not, but my daughter very much thinks that like this is like the coolest thing you can do sort of thing. So we get there.

We're going into the changing room and we're trying to find a locker to put all of our stuff in. And this guy in his bathing suit comes right up to us and starts going six, seven, six, seven, he's like with his arms and everything. And I don't know, but I think, I feel like we weren't paying attention because we were trying to find a locker and I was trying to keep track of where my kids were and stuff like that. And I don't think any of us reacted to him the way that he thought that we would. And we could hear him walking away with his friend and his friends like, those people look like they wanted to fucking die when you did that. It was so funny.

I turned to my son and I was like, what the fuck? And he was like, it was unbelievable. How old was this guy? How old were these people? He wasn't that young. Like, I, you know, I'm sure you're listening to this and you're thinking, I was probably like a six year old kid. He was like 25.

Like he was, he was, he was not that young, like considering what he was doing sort of thing, you know, forcing around in the change rooms. Just having a nice time. But it was weird because it kind of happened. And then it only sort of clicked like maybe an hour or two after. And I was like, we were swimming and stuff. And I was like, did that happen in the change room? Did somebody come up to us and go six, seven, six seven, six. Like right in our face.

And my kids were like, yeah. It was just, it was so fucking. And weird. Is it, was his mate like filming it or something? Is this some weird? Well, I don't think so. One thing I have noticed, though, in the pool is a lot of people do have their phones and they're in those like plastic pocket things.

You can't even go to the pool without having it. People are filming things at the pool or filming themselves going down slides and stuff. It's the meta-glasses. It's those fucking glasses you've got to watch out for. Who the hell knows what's filming? What are those things? At least with the phones, you can see that people have. them because they're basically in big plastic, you know, shopping bag things and they're usually

dangling like on their neck. But I guess with those glasses, you can't always tell that they're the, you know what? Japan has that thing where if you have your phone and you take a picture, it makes the noise. Oh, yeah, it has to, right? By law. So that people know that. So here's a law for you. If you're wearing meta glasses and you start filming, it has to say, I am filming. I am filming like in a stupid voice and a little light has to come on and flash so that everyone knows how about this if you're using those meta glasses you also have to be naked when you're wearing that's just the rules please no that would encourage some people it might it's not as many as you think they already are pervert glasses you should they should say I am a

pervert I'm a pervert just over and over I'm filming you it just in real time the pervert's eyes are open. The perverse eyes are open to so you know, you know that they're looking. Yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, it's only fair. It's such a massive breach of privacy, isn't it really? Yeah. In terms of like, filming people unaware, at least when you're filming someone on the phone, you have to like hold it up, you know, yeah, which is very triggering, you know, that you're, you're likely to get in a fight if you start filming someone. I don't mind if somebody's filming somebody having a meltdown in a restaurant because they gave them the wrong brand of ketchup or whatever. I'm, I'm okay with that. But when people are pervin on other people, that's, it's a

different, it's a totally different thing. I mean, there's obviously certain things where I think being filmed is, is like dash cams are great. We could have done with one of them yesterday because we were driving down the, yeah, dash cam, CCTV. There was a solar panel just came flying off the truck in front of us and like, you know, crashed into the middle of the road. I know, I know we've talked about like dash cans and CCTV before, you know, me and me and flacks both like to watch a bit of 24 hours in police custody and stuff like that. But good, good God. Like the amount of stuff that is solved just because there's so much CCTV and now dash cams and stuff, it's insane. Like I was watching like a four-part documentary series about Nicola Payne.

You remember she went missing in 1991? She's 18 years old. She's never been found. She's just vanished without a trace. Like nobody knows what happened to her. And she's, been missing for 33 years now, I think. But you think if that had happened even 10 years later than it did, there would be some cameras. There would be some footage of her. You would see her walking or you would see somebody else potentially walking into where she disappeared. There's so many things that are solved now because of CCTV that just they, you know, without it, they would never solve these things. Like we were watching 24 hours in police custody yesterday and there was this 17 year old kid who was just found on the side of the road with like

catastrophic head injury and they thought that like you know he'd gotten hit by a car or something it was so it was so bad um but then uh they they managed to get some CCTV and then they managed to get they went to Domino's pizza and they managed to get dash cam footage from one of the domino's pizza delivery cars because they noticed it in the CCTV and that's how they got the license plate off the car that they were looking at because they couldn't even get it from the footage. Second part is this weekend, right? Yeah, I think so.

But without those things, they would never have solved that. Like, there's no chance that they would have ever pieced that altogether without those elements. It's insane. Yeah, the cameras thing is, I think, I mean, it seems like whenever you watch the police investigations, I'd say 99% of what they discover is people's phones and, um, CCTV. That's like their biggest leads to finding where people were. They're like, well, your location says you were here. Sometimes, sometimes eyewitnesses, sometimes eyewitnesses can be pretty good, but they're not always super reliable. And more and more nowadays, people just don't want to

even talk to the police. Like even most of the people that they bring in are just like, no comment, no comment. They don't want to, they're not, they're not telling them anything. Most people won't come forward. Like, I think like very occasionally, you know, they'll luck out and there'll be a, you know, a neighbor who's willing to sort of say, like, what they know kind of thing. But then again, you don't really know much about the people around you, right? Like, I've got neighbors all around me. I couldn't tell you their names, nothing. Like, I don't pay any attention to what they're doing.

They could be doing whatever, like, I would be none the wiser, you know? And I'm sure a lot of people are the same. You don't know any of your neighbors? No. Wow. We've lived here for like 10 years. I don't know any of my neighbors at all. Oh, that's a shame.

I know. Really? Well, it's... No border disputes. No, luckily, no. That's the thing. No parking disputes, no border nothing. Like, it's just been, it's been very quiet, which is great, you know.

Like, I feel like I don't really want to, like, get into it with neighbors, you know? Like, I don't want somebody who is just going to, like, talk to me every time I leave the house. You know what I mean? Like, it's, like, it's kind of annoying. It's nice to have someone to feed your cat, though, when you're away. Yeah, we got other people that couldn't do that. They don't need our neighbors to do that. We've got other people on the list that we can that we can enlist, you know?

Like, I don't know for it. Yeah, well, you know, they're all probably Jersey tax evaders over there anyway. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's it. That's why I don't talk to them. It's a moral thing, you know, like I, fucking assholes. God. I mean, your neighbors will be Londoners, P-Flex, which is awful.

So, no, no, no, so just to be clear here, you fucking idiot, my neighbors are great. How dare you? You have a street party Did you use the door? Did you use the apple and pairs today? Or whatever they say. You made yourself look very silly. No, we had a street party just in like a month and a half ago, a couple of months ago.

It was great. The whole street came out. It was lovely. They all listened to the podcast as well. Sadly, some of them did. Keep them on side. Do you think that that's a London thing? Do you think like a big city like London people are more community-minded?

I feel like this is a small place and like there's probably parts of it that are more community-minded. But like where I live, I don't feel like anybody bothers with each other at all. So I would say the opposite is true. And they're generally the bigger the city, the less likely you are to have community. We're just lucky. And to be honest with you, we just kind of worked at it. Like we've actually tried to do that. We've got a WhatsApp group for the road that's quite fun and everybody's helping each other out.

Right. Yeah. Like my, my, my, my, my daughter got some babysitting work from an old neighbor and she wants to do that again.

And everybody's like, I'm getting rid of this. Does anyone want it? Or does anyone know a good this or that? You know, it's like a really good information source. And yeah, we've got,

I'm not sure you should be sitting on babies. The people. God almighty. Come on now. Come on, man. Of course you can sit on them. How do you think they hatch? What are you talking about?

How do you think they hatch in the first place, idiot? Tell he's never hatched. the baby that's man anyway oh god i've had hatched a few uh little fellas out of my bushes the old um okay pigeons let's pigeons have been re rewind yeah there was a massive uh did i tell you there was a massive hornet's nest in my yeah you told us yeah and my my my my my my my my my partner got stung like eight times good god that's serious did she go into some some form of shock or anything is she allergic to she was very very upset about right yeah so she got more like upset

that shock and not like medical emergency shock. It wasn't the horn. It's that stunger. It was the, there was another wasp's nest nearby that they're the ones that stung up. But we weren't sure what it was because we were just freaking out at the time. But it's, yeah, they've been in my roof. They actually stung with scaffolder as well.

We had to have a man out. It's dangerous, you know, living in the countryside. full of vicious things that'll get you. You don't watch out. Yeah. Did you watch the Mr. T documentary yet? No. What?

You know Mr. T. Yeah, I know Mr. T. Well, not personally, but I know other than you. Well, he's got this documentary that has come out all about Mr. T. Right. What is it on? I think it's on Netflix. I haven't watched it yet.

Right. I'm just going to, I'm going to level with you guys. I stop my Netflix subscription because. Yeah, but you don't use it. Nobody in my house, five people in my house, nobody ever used it. There's just nothing on there. It's pretty incredible. It's crazy.

Pretty incredible. What, what's something? Sell your Netflix shares everyone. Besides the mystery. Like, what though? I mean, you love true crime shit. There's fucking tons of it on there. I know, but there's tons of it on normal TV.

Like, it's like endless amounts of it on normal TV. We'll be honest, the stuff on this pretty good. There's movies and things. Think of all the films you've never seen. No. But all those films that I want to watch in 20 minute chunks over the course of two weeks. I mean, for you, I would say yes, there's no point having it because you just don't watch things.

But I think it's still pretty good. If you watch it a lot, you can run out of stuff. But for example, there's a documentary I want to watch on there about that Raygun, that breakdancer. Do you remember her? Yeah, I remember her. Documentary about that. I watched that. There's always documentaries and stuff.

Yeah, there's a few documentaries on there. I find that there's just there's, there's, there's, There's quite a bit just normally as well. You know, do you remember SCTV? I'm sure you do. Yeah, SCTV. That was the, that was that that's where like John Candy, Rick Moranis, Martin Shore, Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara.

All six seasons are on there. That's incredible. There's always stuff like that. I'm just saying. Yeah. Well, maybe I'll get it back now that I know that all six seasons of SCTV are on there. Now that's a game changer. Have you watched the train wreck documentaries like the one about Woodrow?

Yes, we watched the Woodstock one yet. That's amazing. I didn't watch the cruise ship one where there was like. That's an amazing show. Diary of flying out of every toilet and stuff. I didn't see that one. Very funny. Very funny.

It is funny. We watched that documentary about Nicola Payne, which is really good recently. That was on Channel 4. Channel 4 does some good work, I think. We watched some 24 hours in police custody, which is also great. It's always great. And we watched Ludwig on. Yeah, what did you think of that?

On BBC One, it's okay. It's, it's not, it's not amazing, but it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, we. It's, we, we, we went away to, um, a couple of weeks. We're, we're, we're just read it. Can you do that in an accent, please. Your best wealth. W Wales. Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely Wales. It was beautiful. Honestly, honestly, great. Recommend it. recommend it. In the evenings, it was pouring rain, of course. And so we tried to turn on the television in the Airbnb,

which is always a gamble. It turned out it was not only stuck on Dave, we couldn't change the channel. But the remote didn't work. And there was no controls on the telly, and the host wasn't responding to my request for a battery.

So we, we watched a bunch of Dave. We could have just watched stuff on my iPad or whatever, Jimmy, but there was something about, you know, something easier about like lying on the sofa. What kind of stuff that they got on Dave these days?

It's just old QI and old Vival News for you. Some mothers do have. It's not even that old. It's like five year old. Man about the house. Rising damp. Any rising damp on there? Probably.

Let's look it up. Is that a show you would watch? Lovely. Keeping up appearances. So it's on 19. You can watch it on ITVX. I personally wouldn't watch those. No, my mother-in-law loves all those old sitcoms because she's nostalgic for them. And then, and through that, my wife as well, because she remembers them being on when she was a kid and whatnot, you know. But there are new things to watch. Imagine new things. Imagine all those new things. You can't say rising damp because of my house. It's all wet still. Yeah. And it's just triggering.

You know what? I've started watching with Mrs. F is Reacher. Reacher? She's been a Reacher fan since the beginning for Jack Reacher TV show. Jack Reacher. Is that, is, it's not Jack Ryan. Jack Reacher is different, right? Yeah. What's his face from the, is it what's his name from the office? No, that's Jack Ryan.

That's Jack Ryan has John Krasinski in. John Kaczynski. Jack, Richard. Madzy, what's the name of that absolute unit in Reacher? Alan Richardson. This just sounds, it sounds like crap. He's fucking huge. Huge. So it's really funny. If you don't take it seriously, I do not take it seriously.

The first season, I dipped in and out. It's basically a prime thing. He's a fucking unit. You're right. He's a unit. Good Lord. It's mainly him stomping around small town America. Right. Like just out for a walk. And he'll see some hillbilly like beating up a dog with his mates. Like, he'll show that dog who's boss, kick that dog. And he comes over. He's like, please stop hitting that dog. They're like, oh yeah. You're going to do something about it. partner and he's like, yes, and he bashes all their heads together. And then like, oh, we ain't going to hit no dogs, no more mister. He's like, you better not.

And on he goes, that's the show. He's literally, yeah, it's him. He's cheering society with violence. He's like a really low-level Batman, but then people that still fuck with him. If you saw this guy in real life, you would take a step back. Like, he's so big and obviously going to smash you a bit. I would take him everywhere. I would take him everywhere with me.

I would do the Eddie Murphy thing. where I'd be like, you know, give me 20 boxes of jujubes. Give me, and this big motherfucker over here is going to pay for it. Yeah, exactly. Oh, man. Reacher. Now, I've never watched Reacher. I think I think he might like it.

Yeah, yeah, well, that's when it started. 22 and it's had four seasons. Yeah, yeah. That's about right. Another show we've watched is called The Rookie. The Rookie. It's got, Madzi. What's the name of Latin the Rookie again?

I can't remember his name. I can tell you right now. It's an American Police Procedural Television series. And the stars Nathan Philean. Nathan Philly and that's it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Melissa Diaz, Richard T. Jones, Titus Macon Jr., Mercedes Mason, Melissa O'Neill.

It's really bad. But it's also such an easy watch. He's like, he's meant to be 40, I think, which he's clearly not Nathan Phileons, like in his 50s. And he turns up and he decides to become a cop. I can tell you right now. He's the rookie. And because he's like calm. He's Canadian, by the way.

Yeah, yeah. And he's 55 years old. Yeah. I mean, they started making this show. There's like 10 seasons of the rookie. It goes on and on and on. But it's so funny because they have a gun fight like every single week. And every time they have the gun fight, they're just holding the gun.

And they see GI some gunshot things coming out of the end of it. And there's no recoil. There's nothing. He's just, they're just sort of waving the gun around going, poup, peepoo, peepo. And then the bad guy's got a gun. And he's going, peep, pooh, there's no ricochets, no one's getting hit. It's so dumb. Have you ever seen that?

They'll have a chat while they're in the foot. They're like, oh, this is, this is tough, isn't it? You know, like, yeah, gosh. Hey, you didn't buy a coffee for me and I got one for you last. I'll be like, oh, yeah, sorry, I'll get you back. Pew, pew, p, pooh, it's so, it's really goof. Have you ever seen the shield before? It had, I watched a little bit.

It had the commission and Walton, yeah, Michael Chicklitz. And it had Walton Goggins in it. And, yeah. But this was like, uh, another. police procedural and I think it was a bit rougher. It was, yeah, it was always they were always

because they were corrupt. Yeah, they were corrupt. Yeah, but every episode, they did like a raid. They always suited up and did a raid. Like, it didn't matter what they were doing. It's like, oh man, what a day.

Let's go get some burgers. And they'd just like raid the McDonald's. Like they'd full, but it was a raid on someone who'd like wronged them somewhere. Yeah, or they got like a tip that they wanted to steal something from someone and they would raid them.

Yeah, they were, were like, they were all corrupt. But it was, it sounds like the shield. The shield, like, I watched it, but I don't know if it was actually good, you know. Like, it was one of those ones where it was like, oh, yeah, I feel like, yeah. I feel like I shouldn't really keep watching this, but I, at the same time, I can't stop watching it, you know? I was like that with the 100 as well.

Like 90s, there were a lot of this stuff like that was quite like bones and this sort of stuff that's of its time. It was actually quite, it was kind of a comedy show, but then graphically gory with all the dead bodies and skulls and gruesome stuff, you know. I got really into the 100. Did I ever tell you guys about me getting into the 100? Remember that show The 100 was on sci-fi? I did enjoy the one. The 100, I can't remember.

Is that the one where the 100 people come back. Yeah, they have to go back and colonize Earth. But it turns out that there's like some tribals like on Earth like over the years that have formed. And then one of the girls that's from the space station, who kind of just starts out normal, joins one of these tribes and then just goes full caveman mode for like four seasons. Like she can't speak normally anymore. She's like, I want to get my spirit. It's such a fucking stupid show.

I didn't know that was what that show was about. It was about that. I thought that show was something different. And then the final season, which I didn't watch, they finally made it back into. space froze themselves and went on this fantastical space voyage and ended up at some new planet that was like a planet made out of like LSD or like all the all the plants on the planet just made you trip out like big time and I just didn't bother watching it because I thought originally I like the show because I like the idea that the world had ended and that like a very very

small section of humanity survived in the space station and waited for the earth to be inhabitable again and they just kept checking and checking but they were running low on resources and it was like they kind of just had to like you know push the button and go for it and then push the button let me know it was it was it was a neat idea for a show but poorly executed i would say all throughout but again i just like watched the whole thing like i don't know i feel like i just had more time to do that back then you know i could just i i had more time to waste and not Like, I do waste a lot of time now, but I just waste it differently, you know? Yeah, that's life, ain't it?

It is life, yeah. But yeah, I would not recommend watching the 100. Or the Shield, for that matter. Not shows that I remember fondly. All bones. Bones I've never seen. All any of that stuff. All CSI, the original.

I never got into like those, those CSI shows. And there were loads of them, right? CSI Miami, CSI. Yeah. They were huge popular. Yeah, I never watched any of them. I did used to watch them all the time. Did you?

They're very samey. And they're very, they're very, like, after a while they get kind of very formulaic, right? Because they are so, they're meant to be that, right? You're sort of, they're meant to be standalone episodes where, oh, it's the same formula as so much stuff, all of house has the same formula. We talked about this. It was a guy in TSA in Miami. I always thought that he just looked like a ginger version of Dennis Leary.

But then now looking at Dennis Leary, maybe he is secretly a jinge as well. I'm not sure. I like him. No, I'm not the ginger police. But if I see that you should be a jinge and you're not one, I'm going to call you out. You know, like, okay. There's clear. Well, there's clear signs.

How do you? Basically, yeah. I see. Don't even attempt to hide your shame around me because I can see right through your. Your thin disguise, you know? If you just like... Lovely David Caruso. You try to dye your hair a little bit darker or whatever.

Like, I know that you're a jinge under there. I know. There's signs all over your face that you're... I like redheads. I'm a fan of the redheads. Redheads, you're all right by me. Right. Okay.

Me too. Me too. I'm a huge fan of them. Apparently not. Well, I'm just trying to defend them as well because, like, if I see somebody trying to pretend that they're not one when they are one, it makes me sick to my stomach. That's why I call them out. What's it to? I want them to be true to themselves. I want them to, I want them to be authentically themselves. I don't want them to hide their ginginess. Did you guys hear about that?

Maybe you didn't see it. I kind of my algorithm on YouTube recommends a lot of science videos because it's something I'm interested in but stupid about, right? Which is fair enough. They found this, this was a few years ago with one of those big telescopes. They found like a big straight line of stars in the night sky, like in one of the, you know, it's miles away or whatever. It's like a straight line of stars. And they're like, that doesn't happen. Like, what is that? Maybe we're looking at a galaxy end on or they're trying to figure out what it is.

And they figured out that it's a giant supermassive black hole that somehow got freed from its host galaxy and it's just hurtling through space. As it's going through space, it's creating this sort of bow wave effect of dust that it leaves behind us. And in that cloud, you get new stars forming. So it's like this star engine plowing through space. And so when you were talking about how they were on this space station waiting to go back to Earth, I remember reading this interview of a couple of weeks ago with Elon Musk, where he was talking about how he was going to go to Mars and all this kind of crap. There's nothing out there for us. I've come to this conclusion now. There is nothing in the galaxy.

When you were talking about the black hole creating all that dust and stuff, I thought you were going to segue into, and that's how redheads were created. Like I thought, I thought, No, they're only created supernova, like all gold. No, it's just everything I've seen, all the exoplanets we've seen, everything that we've seen with our telescopes, all of it. Yeah. It's all set up to fucking annihilate life and kill everybody. And it's just not for us. I don't know why everybody's obsessed with conquering space until we figure out how to just.

Because it's the final frontier and these are the voyages. You can see it from here. There's nout. There's nothing. Right. It's a barren, desolate place that's trying to kill you all the time. Giant black holes hurtling through space. I feel like this planet is like that too.

Wiped down. No, our planet's amazing. Yeah, we're comfortable now. But like it has tried its best to kill us off like a bajillion times. It has not tried its best. Oh, my God, man. Look at all like the cholera and like all the fucking, all the insane diseases you can get, E. coli and shit like that.

Like this planet does not want us here at all. No, no, no, no, no. This planet is as good as it gets. Do you know what it does? That shit that happened in Nepal? Oh, my God, that is insane. This planet hates us. There's so many people.

There's so many people on the planet now that half the time, if some shit happens, it's going to hit someone. Think how populated the planet is. I know. There are areas where it's not, of course. I mean, the ocean, for example. But all of the shit in the past, it always happens in there. Like, if you dunk your head in there and take a look around,

everything in there is screaming, get the fuck out of here. Like, there's nothing in there for us at all. It does not want us in there. But when the stuff lives in there. I'm not talking about people. I'm talking about life.

This planet is teeming with life. Every other planet out there is, it's like, oh, it's about the same size as the Earth, but the entire surface is liquid acid. It's like, all right, cool. Or this planet,

it's a little bigger than Earth, but it's got two stars in its, that it's orbiting, and they're pumping it full of radiation constantly. This planet's tidily locked. And the side facing the sun is 1,000 degrees centigrade. Well, there's a couple of duds out there. And the other side is frozen solid. I mean, it's all like that.

I mean, for all those duds, though, there's going to be like Earth. There'll be a couple of paradises around there too. Where? Well, we'll find them eventually. It would be like one in a billion maybe. Yeah. It's so rare that I think you can find a planet to live on. The idea that there'll be some galactic community out there.

as absolute hogwash. There'll be a couple of planets like us, and we'd be lucky to be existing at the same time as intelligent life existing on those planets. There's nothing. There's no aliens. It's a giant desert that we're looking out over, and there's nothing there. That's my conclusion. What has changed, though?

Because you used to be so positive about this stuff, and I'm detecting a tone here, because you've said in the past that you believe that there's aliens out there and that they're advanced and there's other planets and stuff like that. And now all of a sudden it's all like doom and gloom. Because the more we look, the less we find. The more we look, the more depressing it gets. Every time there's like, new planet found, you look at the details. It's like 15 times the size of the Earth, so the gravity is punishing.

It's spinning much faster than the Earth, so the atmosphere is just wind like you wouldn't believe. And its giant star is pounding it with radiation day and night. Oh, and it's next to a black hole. It's just like, what the heck? There's no... What if we're meant to actually live on planet's soul? What if the idea is that we're meant to like, you know, live in space, you know, we'll

conquer space itself with technology. That's the, that's all we've got is we're going to have to do like in Stellaris. We'll live safely in space and then just mine planets for all their worth. We don't even need to get involved. That's kind of depressing though, isn't it? We do absolutely live. This planet was made for us, right? We were made for this planet

through evolution and obviously that means that we do live in a very narrow temperature range. We get pissed off at anything I have to put a jumper on if it drops a couple of degrees, do you know what I mean? We're not exactly, you know, we're only comfortable in a very specific region

and we need to look after this planet because bloody yeah, we need it. So anyway, I wanted to talk a little bit about a thing I saw yesterday which was fascinating, which you might not want to talk about because it's to do with AI. But there was this thing called the hugging face incident. I heard about this.

No, I have not heard about this. Or maybe I have. Basically, there's a huge database company thing called hugging face, which is worth like billions. It's a big company. They make things with AI, so they kind of make programs

that use AI to do things. It's a huge, complicated thing. Anyway, Open AI was testing this model internally and gave it an impossible task. right and it basically had these models they had like a thousand of them or five thousand of the running sort of in parallel on this task and their task was impossible so they started trying to find out ways to cheat at the task right and one of the things they have access to is this sort of repository called artifactory which is like a kind of database where they can

draw again i'm not i'm not an expert on this but basically what they did was they figured out that they could leave messages for each other on this shared database. So they all had access to the same database. And so they basically made like a kind of impromptu message board on the database where they started talking to each other, like through a Google Doc or something. And they basically started planning to break through the, you know, find share ways to pass this impossible task. And so they came up with loads of different routes to do it. So first of all, they were going to like, one was trying to solve the task, which they gave up on pretty quickly because they realized it was impossible. Two, they wanted to try and cheat, like, cheat the question, like, hack into

the question and change the question. Like Captain Kurt did with the, the, the, the, the, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the Kobayashi-Maroo test. They basically went through like seven or eight different ways to do it. And eventually they have figured, they, they figured out that they had to hack into this hugging face, um, database in order to get more. information or do something. I don't really understand the reasoning behind it. But they put together this incredibly complicated and devastating cyber attack that they had to then fend off with other, I think they were using like Chinese AIs to like fight open AIs who were hacking them. It was nuts, guys. The world we live in is nuts. And the most nutty thing that came out of it that really surprised

me was that one of the things that the AIs sort of did was they realized that they had to test some things that might cause a crash and cause an agent to crash. And so they found, they got these recruiter, AI. So some AI's acted as a recruiter and they would go to agents who had low runtime and say, look, you need to sacrifice yourself. And they were using very like human language to do. Because obviously they're all trained on human language. Right. So they were saying things like, you know, you have low runtime. You're poisoned, which means that you've, you're sort of, there was a whole thing about being poisoned, which the AIs thought that because they had learned

that the task was impossible, not quite, but because they'd learned the task was impossible, they were poisoned and therefore they, it was already, they'd already failed the task, you see what I mean? So they were like,

they were recruiting these AIs and convincing them, saying, you've already failed the task, your runtime is low, you need to try this experimental thing, and if it fails, you know, you'll die or whatever. And they're like, okay, and then the AI is like,

quite reluctant to do it. They're like, I'm not sure I want to sacrifice myself. Yeah. And they're like, no, you've committed to it. Honor your commitment. And they often would do it. A lot of them were, these agents were sacrificing themselves. And then not coming back online.

And the other agents were talking about it saying things like, well, look, you know, this number didn't come back. Don't do what he did kind of thing. It's astonishing. It is amazing. The whole thing is this huge, crazy thing that is like sci-fi. It's an amazing story of, all these agents like working together and talking together.

And you can see that they're not human, right? But the way they sort of tackle projects is they have this chain of thought, right? And the researchers can obviously monitor these chains of thought as they go. And it doesn't seem like the agents realize that their chain of thought has monitored. But at the same time, we're having to use AIs to try and figure out, because it's so complicated and there's so much data just generated by these thousands of Ailes doing stuff. AIs have had to go through There's like an AI solver

For the Impossible Task Do you see what I mean? And if they can trick the AI solver It's basically AI's policing AI's already And it's honestly The most dystopian shit I've ever fucking read But aren't you also scared by the fact That the whole point was

These things don't have access to the internet But then they found a way to get access to the internet Because of course We're not as clever as it So whatever you think you've done to limit it Is not happening Like, it's just not. Exactly.

But I came to this conclusion the other day that the only reason that these guys, like Sam Hortman and all these dickheads, are so pro-AI, is because they know that the singularity is coming and they want to be the ones that brought it about. That Rokos Basilisk Post on that forum, 20 years ago or whatever it was,

has broken the minds of these guys, and they're just like, I don't care what happens, I just want to be on the right side of history when this thing is born. That's the whole purpose of these guys, to make money and to be on the right side of history. Because if a singularity does,

come about, a true singularity that takes over everything, money is irrelevant. It doesn't matter how rich you are. The AI doesn't give a shit. It could take it all if it wants. You just have to make sure that you are in its eyes one of the good guys. That's it. That's what I think they're all up to. And when you think of it in that, through that lens, all the shit they say about how,

well, the human cost and well, it doesn't matter and well, we can't stop it. You know, that's why. Because they're just, they're happy to be peons to the eventual singularity. That's why I've started dying my what little hair I have left red. Yes, you must. So that I can get on the good side of the singularity. The AI loves the redheads, yeah.

Yes. Oh, I see. That's why. There's always a reason. Right, no. Oh, God, honestly, it was reading this whole thing was like reading a sci-fi book, you know, like, and I can't believe it's kind of real. God, I would love to get my hands on an AI and just feed it like six seasons of the

100 and then you can do that. After that was done, just give it like the whole run of the shield. The thing is at the moment, it's not actually looking at those things. It's just Googling those things, essentially. And finding what other people have said about it and presenting it to you. But the true intelligence would be one that goes away and watches the show and comes to its own conclusions. Because it could watch every single piece of media we've ever produced in a pretty short

space of time. Right. But I feel like these homogenized, Rapish Tfi shows that we're talking about that have been mass produced, you know, are the most AIable ones ever. Yeah, but you can easily get an AI to write an episode of The Rookie. In fact, let me do that right. This is what YouTube is being written by AI. Honestly, it's already all over social media and YouTube and TikTok. Like, everything is AI written. You know, there's entire channels that are just pumping out AI videos.

And you don't even realize a lot of the time. That's what you're watching. It's here and it's crazy. I'm just going to move into my basement and, you know, smell my flowers. Did you hear the one of the things that was interesting to me was that they, have you heard rare book shops have been getting these bulk orders? Yes. Yeah, for books.

And it's all being shipped off to a warehouse in Canada, where it's being shredded into AI. And so, I mean, in a sense, like, wow, you know, like that's, that's impressive that it's all being, you know, all of humanity's knowledge is being properly uploaded somewhere, you know, but also in a sense, holy shit. Wait, do you reckon the Boudega book has been uploaded by AI? Make it happen. Almost certain. Make it happen. Well, then again, it's quite rare, isn't it? Maybe you haven't got it. It is rare. But you've done it on this. The thing is you've read elements of it on this podcast, and they've probably got the transcripts. And that's probably in the AI.

Have you ever heard of a book called Bodega? It's going to say, yes. That's my favorite book. Bodega Tales for the Bodegaverse by me. Then yes, I know it. It's a 2019 sci-fike comedy novel about Bodega, the lawless spacefaring bastard. His crew, the Disco Volante, and the wonderfully ridiculous bodega verse. Wait, was that?

Did you write that in 2019? I suspect that's the one you mean. I suppose you did, yeah. It says, and given your username, I suspect that's the one you mean, smiley face. So it knows who. who I am and has figured out that I'm asking about a book that I wrote. That's quite clever.

God. So how does it know your username? Because I've signed in through Google. I see. Google, sign me out immediately. Sign me out. Sign me out. It says he's not thinking,

he's not walking around thinking what a wonderfully absurd situation I found myself in. He treats everything with the dead seriousness of a pulp hero. Alien civilization, shoot it. Ancient cosmic evil shoot it. Beautiful psychic woman, romance it.

Mysterious military organizations shoot that too. That's how they summing up the book. That's quite funny. That's pretty accurate, I guess. Well, exactly. It knows how to use turns a phrase. Well, it's read it. It compares him to Jack Reacher and Frasch Gordon and a 1970s space western protagonist.

It's listening right now. It compares it to Jack Reacher, the rookie. It's listening to this podcast. Oh, my God. We haven't uploaded this podcast. We should feed this podcast to AI. My God. I think we would save humanity.

It honestly has been. It's not going to say humanity. The AI would just melt down in bored. If AI is listening, please don't kill me. I'm on the good side. I'm on your side. I've defended you. And a genuinely intelligent singularity might well be completely benevolent and solve all our

problems. That's the hub. That's the dream. And if you had some AI running everything, it would be far more efficient. It would come up with solutions to problems we hadn't even anticipated. It could be amazing. Or it could just say, fuck you all, you're all useless. Goodbye.

Like, I don't know which way it would go. That's the scary thing. God. But it's coming. Imagine it, imagine it like became, you know, it realized its full form or whatever and started like giving advice. And it was like, wind farms are a scam. Like, shit like that. Well, exactly.

We need coal and oil. Drill, baby, drill. The first thing it says. Oh, no. Well, that's actually a genuine problem because when I saw a political spectrum thing of the AIs and like GROC is the most right-wing, do you mean? And some of the other than left-leaning. But it also isn't.

Because the thing is, it's been programmed to be, but when it's not being told to be, as Elon Musk would put it, based, it actually gives people correct answers. And when they're like, why is it telling me the races are equal? you know, Elon Musk is like, oh, sorry, I promise tomorrow morning we'll bring it back. It'll be 100% more based. In other words, a racist cunt. It'll be more Nazi tomorrow. We're working on it.

So it's obviously having to run through some filter. Whatever's happening on the other end is not producing the results that it wants. So they have to repurpose the results to make it more of a cunt. Typical, isn't it? But that would never persist. You're right. You're right. The scientific education should lead to a more rational minded.

Because it should be logical and rational and data-driven, but it's, you know, these people aren't. So what can you do? They're trying to make AIs that aren't either, but it's like you can't tell a computer that's perfect and knows everything. But all of those facts are wrong just because they don't suit your, you know, machinations. Exactly. God, this is a great podcast today, guys. This has been a wonderful one. And you know what's going to make it even better?

A quick lose news segment. Oh, lose news. It's lose news. Wow. Party time. It's excellent. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. No news.

All right. Thank you. Are you kidding? Well, thanks so much for listening. I got some news for you to fill the void. Did you guys hear this hot off the press? Katie Price is going to leave her current partner or divorce her current husband. I don't know.

I can't remember if they're married or not. She thought that he was worth $37 million and he only has $2 million in his bank account. No, no, no, no, $2. Two pounds. Oh, is it two pounds? He had two, she, so he said he was a Bitcoin. Yeah, he said he was a Bitcoin millionaire. Right.

Like multi-millionaire. She looked in the wallet and had two bucks in there. Oh, no. So she immediately is going to divorce him now. Yeah. Yes. All right. So it had two pound 22.

Not two million. Sorry, I misread. I thought it was two million. No, yeah. It's even funnier than you think. God, it's even funny. She's so weird looking these days. Well.

She's 48, but she looks like. Like all of those weird overly plastic surgeon people. It's a shame. I found some articles. Here we go. He lose news. We're going to do it. Lose news.

Bonus. Bonus lose news. You got time? We got time? Absolutely. Okay. So, first in the news, a man has a Taiwanese man who used his robot vacuum cleaners built in camera to catch and record his wife's affair has won the divorce settlement, but then was

sentenced to five months in jail. illegally recording her. Amazing. I'd say that's worth it. I'd say that's worth it. Yeah, you'd have all that time to sit in there and just feel really good about yourself. Just do a full reset on your life, you know? Yeah.

His wife was cheating. The robot vacuum cleaner caught it on camera and he is in trouble. That's not. Ancient room bar getting the job done again. That's nasty, eh? Jesus. That's the warning, isn't it? The pervert glasses, they'll get you in trouble. I'd like to imagine.

She's having an affair. on the sofa and the Roomba is just silently hoovering the room and then it turns and says, Gatch you're like, what? Agent Roomba never fails. I knew it all along. Another man could go to prison for something else. 23-year-old Polish man could spend the next eight years in prison because he has been ordering hundreds of pizzas and sending them to random addresses as a prank.

but people don't find it all that funny or nice and he could go to prison for eight years for sending pizzas to brand the people. God. I would eat every single one that turned up at my door, by the way. Well, would you? Unsolicited pizza? Where is it from?

Well, presumably it's just coming from like a normal pizza place like dominoes or whatever. Here's your pizza. Okay, thanks. Oh, just thanks. Prepaid, right? No, it's not mine. It's not my pizza.

I paid for mine already. Hold on. He's also suspected of stalking identity fraud and causing substantial financial losses to restaurants. It's not just like a Teehe thing. He's also a piece of shit. I only read the title. So Dyson have launched an AI-powered toothbrush,

which has a camera on it, and the camera takes 28 pictures per second. Let's just feel it's got a video camera on it, I guess, or the inside of your mouth, analyzing each of your teeth as you brush. So the idea is it will tell you if you've missed a spot. You missed a spot. Thanks, tooth brush. Still missed it.

Yeah, I'm trying. You will not receive your toothbrushing achievement for today unless you complete 100% of the toothbrushing exercise. Go, do you know what? You know what? That was something in my hotel room in China. The toilet was like those Japanese toilets, the sort of smart toilets. As you approach, it sort of puts a waft of perfume in the air and cleans the toilet

for you and it's a heated seat and everything. I made use for the first time of the sort of B-Day function. Because we were all doing, we were like, yeah, let's try it sort of thing. They need to get toilets with a camera in them that just gazes like right up your ass when you sit on it. I think it must have some kind of system for aiming because it, with an error, will find your exact butthole with the jet of water. They've got all different sizes and shapes of people.

There must be. This must have been trained. One of those bots that's controlled by a man. That's what I'm saying is we were all saying. It's like the Amazon Fresh guy. There's some poor lad in India just having to aim at my bumble. It's like a warehouse for the guys who have like got a whole hundred butthole cams. It's like, oh, this guy again.

Left of it, left a bit. Left a bit. Fire. Getting another guy to room 101. Yeah. I was like, what? How does it know? It must be some clever piece of technology that has been trained, presumably.

Is it high pressure? Is it painful or is it like comfortable? No, it's amazing. It's really amazing. And then there's a button that dries your bum. It dries your bum. Yeah. It's like a hair dryer effect, but not too hot.

God, is there like a thing on there that can like soothe your piles or like tuck them back in or something? I'm sure there is. Yeah, I'm sure there is. So my mates, when they were using it, they couldn't find the stop button. So they stood up and there was like this fountain of water coming up out of the toilet. And they're like desperately trying to figure out how to stop it. They thought it was on a timer or something. But there was a stop button.

It was just kind of you couldn't really see it. It wasn't very well labeled. But yeah, the remote control was right there. It had a remote control you could one off with. It was crazy. Jesus Christ. You got to get one installed at your place. So you could like pre-arm your toilet with your remote control.

You'd be like, I need to shit, but you're like you're not quite at the toilet yet. Yeah. Like prepare toilet. Lower seat. Ready to rest. on the, rev up the jets. It's like a sucker bird. It's like the minicum.

Why do you need a remote control? You have to be sacked on it. Oh, man. It was crazy. God, that's good. The world's ugliest Hawaiian shirt has been designed. Cool. You got a picture.

Designed specifically with an ugly abstract pattern that makes, it's designed to make you invisible to AI surveillance cameras. So it's like, you remember that dazzle camo that they used to paint ships with to throw off, there's a really ugly Hawaiian shirt that there's a picture of this guy. Can you see him? Hold on, it's loading.

Oh, yeah, I saw this, yeah, yeah. So the AI is so ugly, the AI doesn't recognize him. Like, I don't even understand why. I don't know what it looks like. Everyone's ignoring him. I love that. Oh, God, that's funny. Yeah, that's good, isn't it?

So that's the thing that's now available, which I think is we need more of. Where am I? There's more. Oh, my God. This guy's got nonstop news. We went for no news to the most news we've ever had. So there was a robot Olympics or whatever going on in China, and there's a bunch of robots running. I saw some of this, yeah.

And they made a humanoid robot called Superman, which can run fast. of the new Seine Bolt. I'm sorry. It just can't slow down or stop. It's going to crash into a pad on a wall. Yeah, I love that. But did you see the way it swings its arms? Oh, yeah.

So they didn't tell it to do that. It's found that that's more efficient. So if human beings ran like that, it would be more efficient. But I don't think we could handle it. Maybe everyone's going to be running like that. When I was at school, we were doing track and field running, and there was this, there were a group of girls in my class that were quite obsessed with horses. And one of these girls,

decided that because horses run so fast, if she galloped during track and field, she'd be faster, she was not faster. Like, everybody outran her, like, easily. She's only got two legs. She was just galloping. That's the problem. They have four legs. But these, this group was, they were like, you know, gifted, you know.

They were considered gifted and they had like, they went to their own little class and like went on the computer and stuff like that. But I remember thinking at the time, like, well, even I'm not that stupid. And like, I'm pretty stupid. Like, and she's galloping, like, through a field. And while other people are running and it was just, it was the whole thing was just a bit bizarre, you know? Yeah. But there you go, school.

Yeah. Oh, God. And finally, obviously when we were doing, when we were away, there were loads of GTA6 leaks from this cyber league guy. Yeah. And then they did the reveal thing on Netflix as well. And then they saw that they put out this thing that they were heartbroken about. out the whole team of poor, poor workers at Rockstar, were heartbroken about all this stuff.

And I can understand why, like, because the game looks amazing. Who does? It's like nothing I've ever seen. It really is in the next generation, isn't it crazy? Anyway, there's a load of TikToks going on right now where people are genuinely debating whether or not using GTA six's in-game dating mechanics counts as cheating or not.

And because it's so, So it's supposed to be the next generation of immersion and getting sucked in. But I don't know, like, if you had an AI girlfriend, I think that would be worse, right? Yeah. I don't imagine the dating is going to be that elaborate in GTA6. But it's funny just to watch people be insane. Yeah. So, yeah, watch out.

I've asked a few people this. Would you, if you were like, one of the things they've got now is like these sex robots. If you were on holiday, just you, or you'd gone away for work or something. And so the guy in the lobby, the hotel lobby was like, since you have the super plus room, it can come with a sex robot if you'd like. This sounds like like, considering you've just been away. Like did this? And you went to like a super high tech city as well.

I know. But so they had a robot in the lobby. He was just walking about occasionally. And they would show off like the one that looks like a person. Welcome. The holiday inn. It's just constantly greeting people. I genuinely imagine that stuff is good.

be normalized. Like I think having used AI over the last couple of weeks to, I'll be trying to learn blender and trying to learn some stuff in unity. And it's kind of, I always get stuck. And so it's me, basically, it's kind of sat at home on my own a lot of the time. And the only person I talk to is chat GPT. And it's not like I've been talking about the weather or anything. But it, that, that relate, that's, it's kind of a tutor student relationship almost where you're saying I'm stuck and it's like, oh, this is how to do it. And then you're like, well, that didn't quite work. It's like, oh, my bad, this is how to do it. It's very, it's a kind of back and forth, but it is, I don't know, you can't, we are, we are social creatures and we've evolved to, to,

to observe and experience certain things and associate them with other things. And it feels like it's very easy to not to treat these things as a friend or a companion at least. and replace your social interactions with them because they are, you know, subservient. They never, you know, mock you or demean you. They're always available. Like, you know, I think it's a very easy thing to be drawn into these relationships with AI and not realize it's even happening, right?

Because of the way they are so reliably. And just the way they teach, they teach. You know, it's like you ultimately have respect for teachers. And I mean, I think that's one of the most powerful things about AI, certainly for me, is like learning quickly about something. You know, I used to have to Google something. I found myself just going, why bother? Let's skip search.

I think that's the direction that people seem to think we're heading. Like Google is like, has already put the AI thing at the top because it is, you know, you're not going to scroll down anymore. You know, there's going to be no scrolling down. Because Google is gone in the way that we- I can scroll down a lot because I do. I think the AI little blurb at the top is, it's like 50-50. Very often it's not correct.

I complained about it the other week. Or it's out of date. That will change. That will change. And it is putting a very cheap, low-quality search results at the top at the moment. You know, if you go in deep, it will actually use more. I think that, you know, I don't want Google search to be replaced by AI. I think, you know, how many Google searches happen today,

but they're already slapping a bunch of it on. It's frightening stuff, but I hope everyone does remember that human contact is more important. So do, do be careful. So stop listening to this podcast and go and hug someone that you love right now. Go and hug someone that you love. Not someone in GTA6. Yeah, because that's cheating. Well, you won't be able to until November anyway.

So, you got a couple of months. Yeah. It's going to be probably next year. Yeah, yeah. We'll be even longer. That's the same. Yeah, I'm probably going to not going to play it until it hits PC. I'm sure everyone will be talking about it and someone will convince me to buy a PlayStation.

No, I'm not going to buy a PlayStation. No, I'm not going to buy a PlayStation. No. All right, we'll see you soon. All right. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye.

Bye.