Triforce! - Triforce! #101: Mr Muesli Man

Episode Date: August 14, 2019

Triforce! Episode 101! It's toasty, it's roasty, it's Mr. Muesli, man! Put Bodega on your body: https://yogsca.st/BodegaverseTee Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello everybody and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast episode 101. Finally. Finally. We did it. it finally that's right finally done we did it the live show at yog con it's all done all the hype was not worth it and we had a a mediocre show it was it was yeah it was fairly mediocre it was just like every other podcast. I don't know what people expected. Consistently mediocre. Consistent mediocre-ness. Well, it's different being on stage. It's a bit intense. It's like the lights are all on you.

You feel like you get instant feedback on all the laughs. That was weird. Sometimes you make a joke and no one laughs. Sometimes you just say normal stuff and everyone laughs. And it's like, uh-oh. People are just laughing at my normal stuff that I didn't intend to be funny yeah you get a good gauge for why people find you funny and to see if they're laughing with you or at you right yeah definitely different people laugh at different times it's different people have different sets of humor I think it was different for the different people for the

audience I spoke to some of the audience guys and they were like oh it was really nice to watch it with other people but they definitely weren't laughing at the same time I was sometimes or they were like some people said I laughed more when I was at home and some people said they laughed more when they were here

in the audience I find that I laugh a lot more if I'm in an audience like if I go to see a comedian and i'm seeing it live i'm laughing my ass off whereas when i watch the laughter is infectious right other people laughing makes you laugh sometimes i think maybe it's a different maybe it's a different thing though like i can i can see that some people might feel uncomfortable but normally like in a crowd you feel like you can just you know sing along into the laugh along into the crowd it's obviously a social thing laughing in a group you feel like you can just you know sing along into the laugh along into the crowd

it's obviously a social thing laughing in a group you know you're all sort of saying hey we're all on the same side here and also i think a big part of laughing is saying i'm not the butt of this joke yeah i think that's a big part of it haha i'm safe yeah you said but i really i honestly i really enjoy doing the triforce and chatting to you lads because it's like an hour of my week when I'm not focused on anything else other than listening to people talking and just having a chat because normally I'm doing something else playing dota or cooking dinner while my kids are you know talking about something and yeah it's just it's difficult to just sit down and have a conversation I think that's yeah I find it very therapeutic we do do a lot of streaming a lot of other things other things. There's always something in the background,

whereas actually this is kind of like a, even like a lunch meeting or something, you're all like thinking about what you're going to have for lunch, you're eating lunch. You know, you can't, sometimes you can't get a chance to actually just talk. And speaking of lunch, yesterday I was scrambling around trying to find something to eat for lunch.

Some eggs. Yeah. And there was like a sandwich in the fridge, like a store-bought sandwich and it was like some sort of like roasted veggie on tomato bread thing but you know when you buy a sandwich like a box sandwich and it has like the you know it's like a triangle shaped box and it has like the little window and stuff and you can see there's like a lot of moisture inside the packaging sometimes you open up the sandwich and the bread is all soggy and stuff like if you haven't eaten it straight away because it was just right never seen so i open this thing up and i take a bite and like the it's like it's like when you use wonder bread for your hamburger bun you know

what i mean like the burger's too juicy and it makes like the bread all soggy and stuff it was like that was really gross i took one bite and i was like i bread all soggy and stuff. It was like that. It was really gross. I took one bite and I was like, I can't eat this. I was in a real funk. I was like depressed. Just like, you know, sort of like lumbering around in my kitchen. So you had like hunger depression because there was nothing in the kitchen. But it needs to be something quick though.

You know, I wasn't going to prepare something. You need like a piece of fruit, like a banana or an apple yeah well listen i open up the cereal cupboard just on the off chance that maybe there's something in there and what do i see i see dorset muesli like have you ever seen this stuff it's like oh my gosh dorset county muesli or whatever yeah it's simply fruity i love it so i'm like what the fuck great so i pour a bowl of this muesli and i i poured some whole milk on it okay i'm not using any i'm just going whole milk now because i just find it tastes better on cereal it does taste better and holy shit that it was so delicious so delicious that it made me think of a classic Wu-Tang Clan track called Method Man. But I've done a remix of it.

What is this anecdote? You've done a remix? I've done a remix of the opening of Method Man to celebrate Dorset Musely. Are you ready? Oh, please share this. All right. Ready? Lead me in.

Do like the piano bit and the tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, and I'll do the opening bit, okay? I can't do a piano bit. I don't have a piano right okay all right ready you do it from the slums of dorset muesli man strikes again it's roasty it's toasty old fruity bastard peach parfait made by a chef good god oat face killer and the muesli man m--U-E-S-L-I man. Yeah. Somebody remix the hell out of that please. It was life changing. Fucking amazing.

I love how you're eating muesli and what pops into your head is the wood tank. Yeah. M-U-E-S-L-I man. I'm loving it. Man, I loved it so much. It was good. I can imagine you just like bopping around the kitchen, just with a grin on your face because you've got a mouthful of cereal just crunching down on that. Bopping, bopping. I can see it so clearly in my mind. I was bopping big time, yeah.

Just love it so much. Yeah, so it was a real nice one it's uh turned out to be a real good lunch in the end i was no longer depressed after all of that that's that's really good all it took was a simple remix and some muesli and bam just right back at 100 simple muesli based remix i like to think that the the wu-tang clan would be delighted to hear that um other than the what is it the 36 chambers or whatever yeah usually in the the 36 cupboards yeah yeah yeah i love that intro too it's so so iconic isn't it with all the they're great saying all the names and stuff wu-tang for life wu-tang forever baby i'm a big fan of odb yeah

rest in peace this is just a beautiful window into your life isn't it really yeah rest in peace odb absolutely man i i feel sorry for odb he had such a bum deal in the end like he clearly had some mental problems like i think he was diagnosed schizophrenic and stuff like while he was in jail but leading up to him going to jail he was so fucking like unhinged and stuff and then when he came out of jail there wasn't that much money left and and then he just fucking od'd on like cocaine like yeah hell i didn't even know you could od on you know i i feel like um the guys that were around in that era that sort of golden era of hip-hop and and rap um they they seemed more heroic to me like i i aspired because they were so cool yeah and you knew that they were

sort of they were they were like real people they didn't feel manufactured it felt like it was really raw back then that were like literally either from the streets or they were friends and i just felt it felt real to me whereas i feel now it feels a bit more manufactured with all the auto tuning and stuff like that sure like i look at the clan and and those kind of guys and i think damn these guys were for real you know i was watching an interview with uh with wu-tang and it like it was on you know like msnbc or something like that and uh they were talking about you know things that um you know we should not like or whatever it was like some segment on the show it was like uh we have to do away with

or or something like that and um they were talking about like gm foods and like all this stuff and then uh i think it was inspected deck said something about like hating on the old school like apparently this is a thing with like new new wave hip-hop or new new rap they're like um they're trying to like get away from like the golden age of hip-hop because it's a horrible comparison for them yeah yeah they're trying to like make they're trying to like um wean people off of it sort of thing as if to say like oh it doesn't matter we're here now and this is what it is and like we're better or whatever but like what it's you can't like we don't just like ignore fucking the beatles and like led zeppelin i'd like i'd like it if authors did

that you know what i mean if authors just suddenly started trashing all the guys that they'd read when i mean these guys were listening to that shit growing up you can't turn around and say they all sucked yeah i know we're better just you know pay some respect man come on yeah so they were just saying like it's not it's not right they paved the way you know like put in the work like when when it was not even a popular yeah genre of music when it was up and coming and it was just considered politicians wanted to shut them down and stuff absolutely yeah yeah so and they you know they had to work really hard to get get their name out there and get signed to labels and and shit like that so it's like yeah it's a weird one i was surprised i just thought what the fuck like

i thought everybody just you know respected these guys and what they they'd done and everything but i guess not hear about that kind of beef yeah that's some my money's on the on the og lads because i tell you what there's no way these young guys these days are going to compete with people who actually grew up in compton you know what i mean yeah that's the thing i mean i don't think they need to though nwa will fuck them up i don't care if you see old town road it's just like a like a folk band from... What are you talking about? So number one on the US billboard is the... It's been number one since... I don't know if it's still number one, but it was number one since March. Like a record.

It's been like 17 weeks. What is it? It's a song by Lil Nas X. Lil Nas X. Is he related to Nas or is he... No, not at all. Why is he Lil Nas? Why is he called Lil Nas X?

Yeah. So it's okay. So it's like a viral. What's the song called Old Town Road? Yes. He's got another song here with 138 million listens called Panini. I do love Paninis. Oh man, I love Paninis as well.

Maybe he's literally just rapping about the things he can see. Which one is it? The Old Town Road remix or Old Town Road? Just Old Town Road. Yeah. It's like basically it got popular. It went viral on like TikTok, I think, or something like that because everyone was like posting pictures of themselves, like as if they were riding a horse and stuff.

Right. And it's about horses, obviously. People have been asking him, being like, you know, what is it about? Is it about like, is it like a metaphor for something? And he's like, horses. It's just about horses. It's like a, but he, I mean, he's like 20. He's just like a viral meme guy. It's weird. And, you know, obviously he's come out and become like this big star about it. But like, you know, we live in a world where people can be like anonymous. You know, you don't have to live in Compton.

You don't have to, you know, be part of that neighborhood to be hugely famous in like the music, popular music scene. Yeah, I mean, you could be like Muesli Man and just come from the slums of Dorset, the Dorset coast. You could come from anywhere nowadays. Dorset's a beautiful county. I wouldn't hear a word against it. Yeah, yeah. I would love it if the Wu-Tang

announced their new member, Muesli Man. Muesli Man. Spit some hard juice about Muesli. Exactly. I don't know, like that whole, like I think rap and this sort of world has always thrived from the drama, right? And benefited from the killings and the early death of the artists. And like, they're very rough, like offensive,

like rivalries and stuff with each other and the drugs. They call it beef. They call it beef. Yeah. And the lamb and, you know, the chicken. All of it. I don't know, like, it's kind of, it's still a part of it today. Like, you certainly, you see, like, the more controversial,

the more ridiculous the people are, sometimes the better they do. Like, people who are, like, 17 and covered from head to toe in tattoos and piercings like you know what's that lad called who's got the number 69 tattooed all over him i i hesitate to say his name is lil 69 but i suspect it is lil 69 x yeah yeah his name is six six six nine yeah six i x nine i n e yeah takashi 69 to ken yeah is that so are these all like internet names like is that are these like they're sounds like a forum music quake quake clan names that have just they've just reused like it like if i use mine i mean i guess i use mine right now in my capacity as like a really young fresh attractive internet celebrity like

i still use my internet name it feels like it feels like you don't really use yours anymore though lewis you just like uh you know everybody yeah i haven't referred to you as zfos in a very long time yeah i mean well that's true i mean lewis is such a good it's such an iconic yeah personality thanks guys yeah i came up with it, I came up with it. My parents came up with it. Yeah, well done. Wow, God. How did they do it? What do you think motivated them and inspired them to pick that name

of all the names? Do you think that all you need to do for Muesli Man to be successful is just be as offensive as possible? No. Just incredibly... But that's what it is. These modern rap songs are like...

No, look at Kendrick, man. Kendrick's not rap songs are like they're like about having sex with bitches like i don't know like uh rakim as well he was never overly offensive he was just like he just had like amazing flow and lyrical prowess and stuff like that he wasn't it wasn't like fuck you fuck your mother no i don't think they were back in the day but i think some of them now feel like they're incredibly aggressive and like like deliberately it's always been like that look at gangster rap and the like uh it's always been very aggressive gangster hyper aggressive yeah that end of it but there's there's always been rap that's really yeah like yeah like and smart like uh like jazz mataz and like a lot of east coast hip-hop early on you know like jungle brothers and like tribe called quest and stuff they were all really chill like it was real hip-hop that wasn't

didn't have like any sort of like organized crime leanings or aspirations or anything like there's definitely they were a good example they were just yeah they were great yeah there's definitely like a line where, you know, like you're either one side or the other, and that would be like, you know, hip hop and probably gangster rap, you know, like NWA. I guess you just, there's nothing, there's no other like genre of anything where crime is,

apart from maybe like the mafia kind of being cool, where crime is like celebrated, know maybe the yakuza or something like folk music old folk music like cowboy music not like celebrated in the same way not like i'm gonna fucking jump in my whip and mow you down with a newsie and stuff like that but it's like you know like yeah kind of like old folk songs about like small towns or whatever like there's definitely some celebration of like sticking it to the man right like they're like social movement aspects of it and everything like usually man should do like white collar crime yeah like um like i'm gonna insider trading i'm

gonna do some insider trading and i'm gonna beef up my stock portfolio then i'm gonna do some fucking tax evasion espionage gonna lobby the government to get lower taxes on my businesses i will say right like grime which is big in big in the uk now grime is kind of uh pro-crime grime is pro-crime yeah it's always talking about knives and beef and stab wounds and shooting stuff. Oh, that's true, you're right. But that's kind of in the same... I don't want to say the same world as rap, but it is... Grime is definitely... It's in the same vein.

...more... or any other medium. I guess there's not too many... There's a lot of video games that you play as like a bad guy right and you can be like in Yakuza

or I don't know like lots of things like Fallout and The Witcher like roleplay games you can play as a criminal character

or do like nasty things GTA is a really good example of something where you can just yeah exactly you know do horrible stuff so I suppose it does exist and that's one of the most most successful games of all time gta but they've never paid i read this week that rockstar never paid a single yeah i read that

too and worse can you believe it still they got money they got funding from the government you should have known to help them out but from the scottish government no from the uk government from the uk i thought they were based in scotland yeah but there's not i don't think that like you know we're a united kingdom sips right so i know but they've got their own like scotland like they've got their own assemblies right yeah they do but i don't think that means that their taxes just go to scotland that's no no no i know but i think that they can put together schemes for like you know uh but this was uk wide right okay because at the time they knew that the games industry was like a growing industry it was doing well in the uk so they gave them some like tax breaks and they gave them some funding to help out and say like you know let's uh let's grow this industry and rockstar was like

we'll have that money because why wouldn't they but then they literally paid zero tax like none and they've made billions from gta and red dead and all the rest of it i'm i'm astounded yeah i'm not surprised i'm just disappointed i don't know like i don't know it's an old town road guys it's quite a big deal you should listen to it i've heard it before i didn't i didn't know what you're talking about at first uh but i didn't realize it was so big. I have heard that song before, yeah. Yeah, it's just a sign of the times, guys. It's a sign of the times.

It came out kind of fairly just out of nowhere. That was a Prince song. I guess that's the world we live in, you know? It's exciting to hear, to have people like people you know not not to have the establishment just get everything for free because they're the famous guys so he so he just came out of nowhere with that song and everybody loved it and they listened to it yeah he's a superstar it's really short as well it's like pretty good one minute 50 or something i feel like um i feel like that like ninja was a lot like that right like uh i was talking about him over the weekend

because you know like he's moved over to Mixer. He got a deal with Microsoft to start streaming on Mixer and stuff. And I remember when PUBG first came out and we were playing it. And I was doing what I do with every game that I start playing. I was playing it and then I'd have a stream on in the background. And there were a couple of people playing it at the time i was watching like uh sacriel remember yeah yeah well yes don't he's still going like he's not he's not gone but he was playing it a lot and um and then and ninja was playing it too and i guess ninja was like a big halo player or something i

don't know much about his background three i think, I think. Yeah, he played like, he was like a professional. So he's playing PUBG and he had like, he had a decent amount of viewers. Like he had like 2000 viewers or something like that. And it was like, okay, cool. And he seemed like pretty good at the game and stuff. And then fucking a couple of weeks later, like when, I guess when the Fortnite Battle Royale came out, I just like immediately thought, well, that's going to be garbage. Like I played the PvE Fortnite and it was fun enough, I guess, for a bit, but I didn't put much stock into the Battle Royale.

And then all of a sudden he was like number one on Twitch. And it was just, I thought, I just found that crazy that his rise was just so crazy. Like it was just all of a sudden it went from like having 2000 viewers to having like 80,000 viewers all of a sudden. Yeah, it's nuts. It was just overnight. I think it definitely went hand in hand though. I think his, like him and other people streaming the game

and the game itself being like very well built for an audience. It's the same thing that happened with Minecraft really, you know, back in the day. There was certain, like us, you know, we got big from Minecraft in the same way that he's gone big from Fortnite. But it did help that he was an extremely, he was a pro gamer. Yeah, for sure. People wanted to watch him to learn how to get better. Yeah.

You know, because that's what, that's a lot of, that's a big reason for people to watch Twitch. That's why they watch us. That's why they watch us, yeah. The Twitch culture is different like that, isn't it? On YouTube, it's much more personality driven. Yeah, Twitch, it's personality driven to a point, but definitely for the for the mass audience, I'd say favors pros. Yeah, it's interesting. It's really interesting. Yeah, I think he's obviously on the right time zones as well. I think we are here in europe are not as well fitting into time zones so what you're saying is the reason i don't get 80 000 viewers because i'm in the wrong time

zone yeah i'm bad at games and you kid there's no possible way for you to have blue hair either flax at this yeah i'm literally rocking the least fashionable haircut there is yeah um blue hair seems to make a big difference like all the big youtubers could be his dad like how old is ninja he's like 25 or something i think like he is 28 so if i had him when i was 15 yeah you know that's possible he looks like like the son i may have had when i was 15 you know what i mean like it was an accident but we're like he's you know we'll try our best i knew somebody who had a kid i knew like a couple in high school i know lots of people 16 years old and they had a kid so it's

not impossible i know lots of people and they honestly um one of my very oldest friends one of mrs f's oldest friends she uh she had a kid young turned out fantastic kids great she's doing great right it's uh it's one of those things but i still recommend it they got married no but i i really wouldn't recommend it definitely kids people are having kids later and later nowadays they are yeah that's something which is not that people were having them at 15 regularly when we were no i think it was like i think back then like but my my parents parents it was like you pretty much got married when you were 18 and then went on to have like 10 kids. Like, uh, I think that was just the, the, the day and age back then. Right. Like, yeah. I remember my grandma saying that like she got married young,

they didn't have any mod cons. So she had to like use a washboard to like do the laundry all day and make her own bread and shit like that. And they had like 10 kids, they lived on an army base and stuff and it was like okay grandma that's just so utterly crushingly depressive thanks for telling me this uh but she was happy for it she seemed like yeah i don't think they didn't have anything else back then i guess so you know they didn't have wow or like iphones they didn't have tinder or anything like that you know they didn't have any of the the modern sort of like time wasters and things that think that things that prolong responsibility

and adults and stuff like that they were just ready to go it's like i'm done school all right i'm gonna go work at the box factory for 80 hours a week and fucking gonna have a wife at home who wears a dress down to her ankles and fucking uses a washing board to do the laundry. Cool. Ah, the box factory. Yeah, the old box factory. The American dream. Always there for us.

You know, everyone's going to need boxes. Yeah, that's it. We need boxes for everything. It's crazy. God, I need some boxes. I need to have a tidy. And most things wouldn't even sell without the boxes. Like so important.

It's crazy. I'm going to have a big, I'm going to have a big office tidy up, I've decided. Yeah? This weekend. Yeah, I'm going to. I just want to sort of get a little bit of a big sort out of all my crap. There's a lot of crap in that office. It's got to be said.

Even my kids, who are owners of a lot of crap and leave stuff lying around everywhere. When we were in Bristol for a YodCon, I think it was Thursday, maybe it was Wednesday night last week. We came by the office, but it was 8 o'clock and there was barely anybody there. There was a couple people getting ready for the weekend or whatever. So I showed my wife and the kids,

because they hadn't seen the new office. They'd only been to the old one. Right. So we had a look around. And they were pretty impressed and stuff. They liked it. But they both turned around to me at one point and said, why is there so much stuff in here? And I said, you know what?

I don't fucking know. There's just so much shit in here. You thought our house was bad? This is crazy. There's crap everywhere. What do you mean? What kind of what you what do you mean like oh god kind of crap clothes all over the place there was just like food like you know half open food laying around all over the place by computers and stuff the kitchen is a disaster

i think how many people work in those offices i know well this is it there's like shoes all over the place there was like just toys le Lego and crap all over the place. Yeah, there's a lot of toys. You look at Tom and Ben's desk area. I know. It's just like. Just toys. Kurt was looking at your models, Lewis, your painted models and stuff.

He liked those. Oh, yeah. And I told him that you paid people to paint them for you. He seemed a bit, seemed devastated by that. Well, I've done like one shelf myself But they take a long time And I think that like I've kept one of my armies fairly pure

Which is like But the rest of them I just Couldn't be fucked I've got money So I thought you know what I met the guy that's painting your models at Yodcom Yes Well who was he Describe him to me A shadowy figure clad I met the guy that's painting your models at Yodcom. Yes. Nice guy.

Well, who was he? Describe him to me. A shadowy figure, clad, only in black. He had a long leather jacket on. And when he opened it up, files of paints. And everywhere he went, he was stood upon a small piece of square plastic with little tiny rocks glued onto it. The painter. That was him. Nice. nice yeah that's cool i've got a lot of i've got a lot of different hobbies right but i think that that painting models is is something

i've i struggle with i think because it's such a fiddly little thing to do you know i like you know those people who paint like on a on a flipping pinhead or whatever and they do like amazing yeah they put like a draw like a picture of jesus on like flipping pinhead or whatever, and they do amazing little tiny... Yeah, they draw a picture of Jesus on a pinhead and stuff. I'm shaky. My hands are shaky enough as it is, just from all the stress of this high-profile public figure job. I don't know.

I'm not very steady-handed. I've never been able to really draw or have any artistic kind of real skills. We're not judging you. I don't think anyone should judge you. Don't worry. I do feel a bit bad about it. Don't worry. It's embarrassing.

Don't feel bad about it. It's just an element of your hobby that you're not all that interested in. I didn't mean to... Chill. Open some wounds. Start a chain reaction. I feel a bit guilty about it.

Why do you feel guilty about paying someone to paint your models? There's nothing to feel guilty about there. I don't know. It doesn't feel genuine. Like, but at the same time, like, you know, these guys who I, I like to support their career in a sense, because like it's got, because it's pretty,

it's pretty tough to make a living because people don't really value. I think your effort, if you paint tiny toys, it takes fucking ages a craftsmanship people don't pay you like what it's worth you know like i think that if you you need to be like lester on the wire to enjoy a hobby like that though you basically have to enjoy it on somebody else's time right like otherwise you just feel like fuck i could be doing like something else right but like i i feel like it's a common thing on the internet to like undervalue other people's time. You know, they're like, oh, can I get a logo? And they're like, you know, they yeah, that'll be like 20 quid.

For exposure! What? I'll only give you a tenner. It's like fucking two hours of work, you know? You know, like I've kind of, well, I've probably spoken about this before, but you know, if you wanted to buy like a a proper painting from like a proper shop you know you could look at like 500 quid for like a painting you'd be like holy shit i'm not paying 500 quid for a painting i could just get a print from ikea for you know 19 quid or whatever but when you look at it that's like 500 quid that's like you know that's how much we pay our artists for like a week of work you know like that's how long it takes you know it takes like it's not easy to

do this and these people have got like a lot of skill and a lot of time and effort skill and talent and hard work damn it yeah reward them i know it's funny i mean that's something that robots won't be able to take over hey talking about robots that reminded me of something i don't know why robots reminded me of something i've been reading about you know cern and the large hadron collider you know about this yeah so in case anyone out there doesn't have a large hadron collider yeah well didn't they have some problems with it and they couldn't they couldn't do the collide like that was ages ago they're colliding all the time they're are they in full collision like crazy they're literally like two right they're

like two bunnies just going at it isn't there like a risk that they can like uh tear a hole in the fabric of time by practicing such sorcery in uh there is it's like a 0.00001 percent risk so yeah this is funny because if you google cern on if you look it up on youtube i should say right i'd say the first 20 or 30 results there might be one video that's actually related to CERN and the rest are pictures of demons coming out of portals and two hour long videos which you know are going to be amazing of some guy saying the scientists of CERN are seeking to destroy God and stuff like this all right I'm looking I've done a google image search for um for CERN right now and I gotta say that all of these pictures are incredibly impressive. Like,

what is all this stuff? There's pipes and wires and like people with hard hats. That's the accelerator. So, it's like a huge, I think it's 26 kilometers long. And they accelerate these hadrons up to near the speed of light. And then they use magnets to narrow the beam of them so that they're likely to collide. And then they use magnets to narrow the beam of them so that they're likely to collide. And then they run them through these pieces of machinery that are able to see these collisions. Because obviously we're talking about at the atomic level,

you're trying to catch a snapshot of what happens when these things collide. And they're looking for consistencies. Because that means if you see the same things coming out each time, things must be inside the other thing you know what i mean yeah so they're trying to find the sub atomic particles what's inside an atom and when they bang them together these little quarks and muons and all the rest of it here i found it spiraling out ufoholic.com cern's awake experiment accused of opening a stargate and causing... Oh, this, yeah, that's exactly the kind of thing. I don't even want to go to that site. I'm just like...

No, don't. No, I'm not. No, so, I mean, this, I think the LHT has been featured quite heavily in sci-fi and, like, books and things about time warps and all sorts of shit. Like, it basically, like, there's one thing about time travel, which is that, you know, one of the theories about time travel is you can only time travel as far back as the first time machine was built you see so people think that the people use the IHC is this idea that you could warp into it somehow but it's not really built

like that it's more like a kind of very fine cable about sort of tiny millimeter wide and then a huge array of like magnets and cooling chambers and stuff like this you know for 17 miles right um to accelerate a neutron or an electron or some incredibly small particle to very close to the speed of light and then do it in the opposite direction as well and smash them together so if they if they could go back in time then theoretically well um they could go back in time and uh and and pay for their harshest critics uh to get laid so that when they come back to present time they're not so much of a problem anymore right because all of a sudden it's like yeah okay i actually don't really care about this anymore because i i got some 25 years ago sure yeah yeah what you're you're saying that you want to

or they could go back in time and all these scientists could get laid so they wouldn't have to do all this well no not those guys like i want the site the actual scientists to keep doing the work but what about like all these guys that are saying like oh they've opened up a portal to hell and stuff those guys i don't think they're critics i think they're idiots yeah they're just more well they but they're having they're having like yeah maybe poor choice of words but like the theory still stands right like is that yeah i agree i i think i think the main problem is that there's a group of people out there who if they had their way if they they'd been around, say, 100,000 years ago when we mastered fire, they would have said, we shouldn't mess with this stuff. You know what I mean?

Like, there's always been that group of people who see any scientific progress. It's never going to catch on. What's wrong with just eating, like, raw stuff? Yeah, raw food's fine. Raw food is more healthy. Like, why do we want to cook warm stuff up? What's the point? All you're going to do is burn it all.

Why does it have to be fire, though? Why not just use the power of the sun to heat up a rock and then use that as a hot plate? So it's like half-cooked food. What if you live in a cold climate? I don't know. Just move, I guess. Fucking move.

Just fucking move, you dummy. You're right. These are the kind of stupid fucking idiotic arguments that people come up with and are able to kind of posit forwards as reasons for why, you know, dumb stuff. Like, this is the problem we have at the moment with climate change and all these other things that people just don't believe. So many people don't believe that it's a thing.

And it's like, what? I'll tell you, but it's purely because everybody apparently these days their fucking opinion is is worth something it's not i write a daily blog is not worth something it's not about your opinion oh in my opinion climate what the fuck do you know about it yeah shut up and listen to people who've actually studied it and listen to them out of this just drives me mad stop i don't care about your stupid opinion idiots the idiots opinions should be disregarded we've done that and we got this far and now we started listening to the idiots again well i guess we're gonna have to agree to disagree here flex because uh i've got i've got opinions that i hold dear to my heart because um sometimes i read something um oh yeah not even. Sometimes I hear something on the radio.

Sometimes I overhear someone else listening to something. Five seconds of information. And I've got this unique ability. I don't know if you guys have this where the mere mention of a topic, I master it almost straight away. But I know everything there is to know about it. I give it a few seconds thought. And because my brain is such a galaxy brain, it just, that it i've cracked it yeah and i've made up my mind i got all sorts of like dormant information because like i think my brain was like part of a supercomputer

in a previous life or something so it's all just waiting there to be triggered that or it could be another dimension like cern leaking yeah somebody mentions climate change and all of a sudden the archives boot up and like all this information is available to me and it's like i'm like i'm like johnny mnemonic like i'm plugged in i see the matrix johnny mnemonic what a reference i know what oh my god that was weird because like keanu reeves had this like a lot of these actors they had like a fallow period where they were like oh yeah keanu reeves yeah he did like a lot of these actors, they had like a fallow period where they were like, oh, yeah, Keanu Reeves. Yeah, he did Point Break and that was kind of big.

And then he started making things like Johnny Mnemonic, which was garbage. And then along comes The Matrix and Keanu Reeves is suddenly a superstar again. I think it's really interesting. Yeah. Johnny Mnemonic. OK, in 2021. OK, this is when it's set. Johnny is a mnemonic courier with a data storage device implanted his brain

yeah guess how much it can hold this was written in 1995 it can hold 80 gigabytes wow 80 gigabytes of of text is a lot though like if it's just text he requires a compression unit that effectively doubles the amount he can but i'm I'm pretty sure Johnny Mnemonic had YouTube videos playing in his mind and stuff as well. That's right. They would have upped the storage. But they need him to carry 320 gig. He accepts this knowing that the overflow will be uploaded directly into his brain. I have the information, but it's so fragmented.

I have to watch it at 420p because i don't have enough storage what a what a world where that was like 80 gig yeah well wait wait when did that movie come out though it was a long time ago must have been i'd say 90 yeah i remember seeing the vhs at like 95 buster for that like when it came out. It was only 96 minutes long. They used to make movies short. They used to be an hour and a half. If you went over that, it was like two hours was like quite a big deal. Movies were short.

Yeah, they were. Do people nowadays have like, like movies these days, like Avengers Endgame is like three hours long, right? Like, is that standard now? I think they try to compete with docu-series and stuff like drama series right book sets and shit right people don't just want to throw away cliche i think honestly audiences have genuinely matured where the things that we accept as television and and that can get into are more complicated and i'm not to say we're smarter, but I think the way we consume television has changed.

I mean, think about, I know people will have their opinions about the way Game of Thrones ended. I don't want to get into them. I wasn't happy with it. But anyway, the point is that was a lot of TV and a lot of people had watched it and were invested in it.

And that's unheard of really in the past to have a TV show that runs for that long and is that detailed and has that much sex and violence and complexity and movies have gone the same way that i mean you can say what you like about avengers but if you look at the superhero movies and even the action movies in general that were big in the 70s and 80s there's no freaking way that any studio would have said three hours and you want like 15 movies yeah no problem like that everything's's everything's changed everything's changed it seems a bit the jurassic world was only just over two hours it

was garbage when i was watching it i was thinking i could really use another hour of this shit they just knew it was garbage jurassic world i don't even think i saw it i i can't i don't know if i've seen like that many bad movies like i just have um excellent taste i guess i just pick the good ones or like i don't know maybe like i i still use like rotten tomatoes to get like an idea of how things have been i use metacritic is what i use that quite often as well because that that's quite good that like takes the average of all the reviewers right um and you can see like the guys from the christ Gazette didn't like it. So I'm like,

Oh, this is probably pretty good. You know what I mean? You can find all the different reviews out there. I can't remember. Like, like most, most movies I go to are kind of like,

I don't go to many. That's the thing. Like, you know, it's not like I don't go see a movie a week or something like that. I guess some people do that. Like, fuck.

I used to, when I was at university, we used to go all the time to the movies.'re talking the other day about uh good war movies and like um somebody's not many somebody was saying that they didn't like saving private ryan they didn't like the story in it some people didn't like the second half of like full metal jacket and um some somebody's saying they didn't like apocalypse now which is kind of crazy but it's a weird one right like older movies like i i can't remember if a movie is good or i can't say for certain that a movie is good because if i watched a movie when i was like 18 at the time it

might have seemed good but if i were to watch it now i might think this movie is garbage like i don't even know why i liked it in the first place sort of thing right there's a bit of nostalgia as well i guess so yeah but like when i watch arnie movies i still love them for what they are yeah like the running man is objectively a terrible film but i love it because it's just arnie he's just very watchable it's such a stupid movie and you know i i used to love it when i was like 14 or 15 yeah watch the running man i liked uh i liked commando as well when I was, yeah, that's a great,

that was a good one. So the movie that for some reason I've told this before that I always ended up watching was Jason and the Argonauts. For some fucking reason. It was like, you know, my parents got a new TV, you know,

it was a huge CRT thing. And when we had everyone over, like my cousins and my uncle and stuff. It just turned it on because we didn't have a VHS player or anything. But we just watched TV and it just happened to be Jason the Argonauts on there. We just watched it fucking loads of times. I was talking to Ben last week and he's been painting up an army of stone statues and skeletons. It's kind of Jason the Argonaut style like um stuff right and while

he was painting it he watched it with his son who's like four I think um and they they and it holds up fine actually it was like stop motion animation on the on the creatures it wasn't CGI but it wasn't it wasn't in that era when it was bad CGI yeah it was like you know it's 1963 so it was before any CGI at all and so they had to use kind of these weird like janky stop motion effects but actually they're like weirdly it's weird how like it's that still looks okay they were revolutionary at the time like it was ray harryhausen became like a household name because a he has an awesome name and also everybody that saw the movie was like this is incredible like this is really good and like you said it i think as well if the acting and the the way it's shot and everything

stands up it doesn't matter if the effects aren't great i mean if you look at the original star wars movies the effects aren't great oh man but it's like it's enough you know i mean the lightsaber effects to me are still absolutely phenomenal and 100 stand up because it just looks so cool the original star wars looks fine i, it was remastered twice. But like they, it looked great to begin with, apart from certain bits like the original Jabba and stuff was a bit of a disaster. Well, that wasn't in the film. Bear that in mind. Oh, but the bit where he's walking. So you're talking about the re-release, like when Han walks around the back of...

That's right. He's walking around. None of that was in the original movie. Mos Eisley, right? That was Lucas messing with Star Wars. So, oh, by the way, talking about reboots, they're talking about remaking The Matrix. What?

Yes. So it was 1999 it came out. Have been, haven't they? They want to do it again. That was 20 years ago. In Hollywood terms, that's eons. So they may as well remake it. The Matrix was, talk about cult films like Jason the other girls, The Matrix. It was, I mean, I watched The Matrix in philosophy class for school because it was this kind of like thing

that was like considered to be an interesting idea. It was a genre, you know, it was huge. It was, The Matrix was so big. There were references to it everywhere. The whole bullet time thing blew people's mind. The Matrix is a huge movie. Yeah, the bullet time and also the scene where they're fighting through the lobby and stuff. Iconic action sequences. I still watch The Matrix and I still love it. Remaking and rebooting stuff blows my mind.

I don't understand how anybody can get excited for it like it's like with wow classic and like warcraft 3 reforged and stuff why why like you can play these games well not wow classic i guess but like just play them they're there they exist they've already been made you're gonna pay money to play these games again and watch these movies again and they're not gonna be as good as the originals like but you're not the audience for the new matrix i know but still like if you showed the matrix to a bunch of 14 year olds now they'd be like this is lame but if you redid it with chris pratt or someone i'm sure they'd be

like this is not lame this is awesome this is pretty rare. So in the Matrix, Keanu Reeves and Hugo Weaving both got injured training for it. Keanu Reeves got a fucking cervical like neck, neck, like compression, and had to have neck surgery. His cervix was compressed. His cervix got compressed. During the filming of The Matrix. He had a two level fusion of his spine which began to cause paralysis in his legs. Christ! So he had to have neck surgery. Hugo Weaving had to undergo hip surgery after he sustained an injury. And then obviously, I think part of this obviously caused them to be a little bit like, I guess

like not stiff necessarily, but apparently like Keanu Reeves didn't kick much in the movie. But I mean, I wonder where the stuff like this, like ended up actually enhancing it, you know, because it made them feel more kind of. A lad with a dicky back and a guy with a bad hip have a fight. Yeah. It made him feel more like computerized,

you know, in a sense, like in that world, it didn't feel like it was just, you know, everything about the matrix did feel like just had that little tinge to like, that it was in another, it was in the digital world, you know, like gave it away. Like just everything about it, man.

Sorry, I'm just thinking about The Matrix. I wish they would stop this. I can't wait for this like trend to end, the remaking of things. It's not a trend. They're never going to stop. It's garbage. It's always happened. They've always remade movies

that did well but the force awakens is a star wars remake jurassic world is a jurassic park remake like they feel like in the jurassic world i was like it's the same movie what they just literally the same that's jurassic i've never seen it i thought it was just like a continuation of the so what they just remade it's meant to be it's meant to be but it basically feels like it feels like a continuation in the same way that the force awakens feels like a remake of so i was like it's fine yeah they did jumanji again that's right yeah they redid jumanji they did um we could list total recall they redid that didn't they redo robocop as well they did robocop yeah it was i mean obviously like there are continuing series too like james

bond 25 is coming out in like next next april or something like this um so that's you know that's something which is an incredibly long-running series how many james bond movies are there now 25 given that you just said it's called james bond Oh, fuck it. If only we knew. 30, 40. The next Bond, at one point, people were saying it should be a woman, but apparently they've said that it's never going to happen. It's Daniel Craig again. Is it?

Yeah. Because weren't they going to get Idris Elba to be Bond at one point, or they were talking about it? Everyone thinks Idris Elba will be Doctor Who or James Bond. He's t tip for everything and and they did make a lady a lady doctor. He'll always just be straying to me old stringer Bill. Stringer Bill! Stringer motherfucking Bill. You got the floor. Yeah the why I heard um I heard the boys was worth watching. Yeah Flax is telling us about that. Yeah I came through it this was actually at Ycon. I watched like four episodes a night.

Ah, boys. Probably why I was so tired, but it is excellent. It is such a good series. It's only eight episodes long. Perfect. I don't want to flip in 22 episodes where it's all dragged out. It's a really good tight story. The characters are excellent. It's based on a comic book that Tom said is really good. Tom Clark. He was like, yeah, I read the comics. They is really good tom clark he was like yeah i read the comics they were really good and he was asking me all these questions is this written by um garth ennis who did preacher which i loved and preacher has been made loads of times but i didn't like the tv show terrible but i've read all the preacher comics and they are bonkers i read them great yeah they are good it's quite it's quite dark i hear which is quite yeah preacher is proper dark

nice the boys um i'll have to check that out i haven't been watching anything i think the last thing i watched was season four of gamora which i binged through in like two days i loved it i've been watching the office um my kids really like the office for some reason even though when i watch them watch it with them they're not laughing much but the american just kind of watching yeah they're just watching it and i'm just like do you guys get that like so many of the jokes go straight over their head but they just love it they sit there with a grin on their face watching it they laugh at like the the more uh sort of obvious slapsticky stuff like when dwight punches michael in the stomach yeah a bunch of

people at yog con told me that i should watch the us one it's good you really should it's good it's very funny so uh you know when we did the the last triforce that we did on stage and i was yeah i was talking about backwash remember i started talking about yeah yeah so um this um this girl comes up to me in one of the signing cues and she's like oh sips nice to meet you i was like yeah nice to meet you too she's like um i had a real problem with uh the triforce live and i said said, oh, what, you didn't like it? Like, was it no good or whatever? She's like, no, no, I liked it. But the backwash story was so gross

that I had to get up and run to the bathroom and almost throw up. Like it just triggered something in me. Oh my God. It's like the exaggerated laughter. Yeah, yeah. But also the exaggerated, ugh. I just thought that was crazy.

I don't, I don don't i can't recall a time where i've ever told a story that's made somebody feel physically sick so i don't know well that's because you just don't know who was this i guess i guess so yeah so i just found that really interesting that somebody almost was sick off the back of the backwash story i'll be honest with you watching lewis eat that can of corn with burger sauce in live on stage. When we did, I can't remember what was it? One of the proper job segments.

I was actually gagging. Really? Like I actually was, I was gagging. Like I was actually retching. It was awful. That was awful. That was so bad.

It doesn't even sound that bad, but it was, it was so grim. And I was like, there's no way I could do this. Like I would literally be sick right here on stage if i if i did i i i don't know like i i would gag if if we were on stage and there was just like an open diaper full of shit on stage that would make me gag i would be like

never bothered me the diapers the smell of puke makes me gag a bit as well like especially if you have to clean up your kid's puke. There's no getting around it. It's very contagious. Puke never smells good. I think it's deliberately like that. Oh, of course. That's how they design it.

Because I think if you're in a tribe of people and one of them's being sick because they've eaten something bad, you should probably also be sick before you get sick. But isn't it crazy? There's probably like uh sub communities and videos out there people who like sex puke and like you know drink there is a big that's a big thing that is so gross and then the shit eating as well like oh my god it's so good onto a baking tray and put it in the oven and stuff like what there's a there's a website

i go to called the worst things for sale and there's a penis attachment that turns your urethra into like the sprinkler on a garden hose. So you put it down your dick hole, and it takes the pee and sprays it out like the end of a watering can, the way it's sort of perforated like that. Right. Fucking what? This is a thing that people need in their life, apparently. What the hell?

What site is it called again? Because if you're peeing on a lot of people, I guess this is more efficient. Maybe it just keeps your pee quiet so you don't wake up your spouse in the night. Yeah, but think how big your toilet bowl would have to be that you're not just peeing everywhere. Oh, man. Maybe you want to water the plants when you pee.

I'm just thinking of alternative wholesome uses for that. Yeah, there ain't any. I'm sorry. So what, it makes your piece like sprinkle like like post-sex pee like that where it just like it sprays everywhere because right yeah i don't know if putting this in would help or just exacerbate the situation also it would be incredibly painful to put a little method yeah i wouldn't want to put anything in my dick hole like uh no please it's like a form of torture right that's what they do when they apprehend you and they want to find

out the state secrets. They put candles down there, right? Tell us the secrets. No, I will not. And then they put like a rusty... Then it is happy birthday to your penis. Yeah, then they put a rusty dart into your dick hole and they're like, now tell us the secrets.

They put a candle in there. One of those ones that you can't blow it out. You blow it out and it takes you and then it relights. One drop of hot wax onto your dick hole. covers it up oh yeah yeah i think a lot of men have just clenched their their butox yeah sorry we've ruined the last five minutes of this podcast by making people think about all of the worst things they can what's the new like back in the day you had like rotten.com right is that still a thing yeah it's oh let's not even go on to this fortunately the internet is much safer now there are dark areas

that you can go to if you want to but there used to be a time when we were constantly being shown shock images and all this horrible stuff but man you don't you know what the internet is is people are a lot better nowadays i hardly get what are you talking about it's gotten a lot worse somehow you're crazy we've uh we've evolved past needing to see shock images into like other things right like uh i don't need to go into details you're very very far away backwash backwash videos people just getting loads of backwash into their drinks and on that bombshell oh my god imagine imagine in star wars the original movie you know when they get pushed into like the garbage chute or whatever imagine instead of all garbage it's just backwash down there like just those big chunks of

like oh my god there's just a bit of corn in there and burger sauce this poor girl is having a run off again is this cola that we're in oh my god what are these chunks oh my god i think it's just the language you use like saying chunks yeah i think chunks is just a very unpleasant i just tune out um yeah yeah well anyway sorry anyway to the to the to the nice lady that i spoke to that i almost made barf, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel sick to your stomach. You just did it again, though. How sorry are you?

You literally just brought it up again. She could just fast forward a live show. This one she can, right? She's like, oh, shit. He's about to talk about it again. Just skip. It's true. You know, skip.

It's close enough to the end of the podcast that she can just probably fall asleep by now anyway like yeah let's be honest most people skip the last five minutes of podcasts because they're all full of fucking i find we come to life in the last five minutes i think our last five minutes are like you know pretty the golden time golden time yeah absolutely here's an advert we still have a patreon don't forget although we did start off strong with musely man that was like at the start of the podcast right so with the rap yeah also the Bodega book shipped like two days ago or yesterday or something

so by next week we'll have an idea of what the feedback is the reviews will be out I can read some they're going to be horrible I know but we'll see the idea of reviewing the book is very scary to me but we'll see so we'll read those next week. Okay.

There you go. Good. That is it. Thank you. We have a Patreon. You can support us if you want. PFLAX needs the money. And you're in China next week, aren't you?

Yes. Next week already? Holy crap. Yeah. Jeez. I had to sort out visas and stuff like that. So I'm not flying out when I thought I was. Right. But I will be flying out at some stuff like that. So I'm not flying out when I thought I was.

But I will be flying out at some point next week. Right. And then I'll be gone for a week. We might not have a podcast. Oh, you're only there for a week. I thought it was two weeks. No. Well, it was going to be.

Oh. Yeah. Visa things. It's okay. Visa things. Visa V. Ripperino. Yeah.

All right. Thanks, everybody. All right. See you next time. Love you lots Love you. Bye.