Triforce! - Triforce! #11: Sips 420:69

Episode Date: June 1, 2016

While we're waiting for Flax to return we talk about Lewis' journey from hell, the idea of heaven and everything in between!   Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. Hello and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Actually, you should do an intro for this one. Why? No, that's fine. Well, because I've done the intro for the last, like, three with the archives. And so people will think this is another archive and they'll be salty about it. Who's keeping tabs?

You should just give us a nice intro. Warm, generous Sipstro. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Triforce. Well, it's like not even Triforce this week though, is it? Oh yes, because P-Flex isn't even here yet. No. He's gone. He went to a poker tournament yesterday. Do you know how he did?

I have no idea. Maybe he'll tell us later in the podcast if he turns up. It's like another Triforce on the road, but we're not actually on the road at all um and the only thing difference but the only big difference this week is that period flax at heathrow airport and might be back in time to join us but maybe not 51 minutes ago he tweeted currently stuck in a corridor at heathrow airport with the rest of the passengers waiting for someone to fix a control point so we can leave.

What's a control point? I think, you know, when you're going through the airport and you have like those desks and the barricades to let people through sort of thing. And they're just sort of randomly placed too. They don't seem strategic in any way. But I guess they got to the point where they were like, hang on, we've got

a man sitting in a chair at this control point why not have a robot do his job instead like most things these days so they put in these automated ones and that probably broke down preventing everybody in the airport from getting through that one hallway but But again, I don't know what the point of that control point is because literally five steps after that will be customs, which is a huge control point. You know what I mean? Airports to me, they seem like just weird holding bays. You could make a game, okay, called Airport Real Sim

where people come in from a landing and you just sort of gate them like sheep into a little pen yeah and then you slowly filter them through these various you know maybe maybe they're just very very very overly busy uh some sort of area yeah i don't know is malta part of the european union does he need like to go through a special international area or something i don't think so i don't know i think it's fine don't know. I think it's fine. Like Malta's... I think it's fine. I think Malta's a pretty credible country?

Island? I mean, I've spent a lot of time in airports. I thought you were going to say I've spent a lot of time in Malta. I've never been to Malta. My mum went to Malta. She said it was nice. Okay. She liked it.

Yeah. It's quite small, I think, but it's also quite cool. It's a small little island, isn't it, Malta? Yeah, I get the impression it's sort of a fortress island or something. Isn't that what it's famous small I think but it's also quite cool it's a small little island isn't it Malta I get the impression it's sort of a fortress island or something isn't that what it's famous for and it's got a good relationship with us I seem to remember I think they quite like the Brits anyway PFLAX will tell us all about it

later in the podcast I'm sure while he was there he really soaked in the historical facts about Malta and everything I mean he did go there to play poker I'm assuming he get very least google likelihood is is that he got off a plane put on his poker face probably won some money and then flew home so well maybe he won't tell us about it all right you never know

if he turns up right if he turns up we have this responsibility now to hold hold down the show remember like a couple of episodes ago we talked about how we're never going to change like the cast on the show and already we're screwing it up we're one man down well we haven't done one for so long now because and we're not going to do one next week either because you're not here next week yeah so i figured like i'm just because tomorrow i'm off to mcm to do the, we just don't have time. We're so busy. Holy crap, already? Jeez, that's nuts.

I know, it's crazy. I mean, I'm going to MCM with P-Flax, actually. He's coming. And I think he's bringing his daughter as well, who I think is seven. Oh, yeah. Which is a little bit young for the whole MCM. I don't think that it's a typically, it's not like Disneyland. No. whole mcm i don't think that it's a typically it's not like disneyland no um it's kind of like nerd central where comic book nerds dress up as uh iron man and like high five each other it's cool

i like it but it's not seven year old stuff is it always on the same weekend every year like did we go to it this time last year yes i think it is a similar sort of time so this time last year thereabouts i got to meet kat and alfie from eastenders yeah it was like the highlight of comic-con for me last year that was really good that was the highlight of your year pretty much yeah i'm a very simple man and that sent my life into a top spin. The queue to meet them as well was non-existent as well. I don't think you even paid anything. Yeah, no, the queue was non-existent because you did have to pay to meet them.

It was like 20 pounds. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I know. Well, it was worth it though, worth every penny. It was actually, yeah. I'm sure. I mean, it was pretty good. I got my picture taken with them.

They were very nice. They were very hospitable for like the five seconds that i spent with them they sort of gratefully took my 20 pounds from me well actually no somebody neither of them touched the money they had like another person who did the money so yeah it was kind of weird yeah i mean you should do that when you're at comic-con when people want to come talk to you just charge them money see how it goes you know it might be fun a guy wanted to talk to me this morning actually i was walking in and sometimes when i walk in people clock me right and i don't know if they've if they're just either weird like homeless people or like just just i've got something on my face or i don't know like sometimes sometimes i think someone is like asking me as a fan and then they ask me for directions or something.

I think it's about 50-50 when people stop me in the street, okay? It's actually a coin flip on whether or not they're a fan. So this guy clocked me today and I sort of squinted at him. I gave him like the little squint. I sort of gave him a little half smile. And then he was like, he just like pointed at me. He was like, I know you, don't I? And i and i was like oh maybe how how do you know me and you know it was like it started this awkward sort of conversation where he he sort of slowly was trying to figure out how

he knew me like was i an old school friend like there's that weird sort of thing that happens in your mind and then it clicked and he was like oh my god i used to watch all of your minecraft videos and i was like oh thanks it's that means a lot but now that i'm like 30 i i don't watch them so much and uh do you still do them and then he was like um so he wanted a picture and i was like sure and he was like let me let me make sure my hair looks good and i've just stood there like looking like a fucking ref, you know, because I just, like, had to rush out of the house to get into the office. And I knew I wasn't going to have to be on camera today or anything. So I was like, I'm not going to bother, like, just doing anything.

So you're just sporting, like, the fro. You've got, like, your mustard-stained wife beater on. Yeah. Shorts. Yeah. Ripped jean shorts. And so he takes this lovely picture of himself. And I'm like, he's like six foot three as well.

Like gorgeous looking guy. Nice. And I'm like just like. Are you sure it wasn't me? I mean, I'm pretty gorge myself and I'm six three. I did look a bit like you. Do I know you from somewhere? That happens.

Sorry, I don't know how i got off topic on today um it's nice so so immediately you developed an attraction to him while you're talking to him and now we're going out that's right so the story about how i met my new husband so two weeks in america i had uh in la yeah it was pretty good i've got some good sort of stuff to talk about from there, but I think I'll save some of it until P-Flex gets back. Yeah, well, because you saw some Civ stuff, right? And he's going to be like, he's going to be frothing at the mouth

because he'll want to see if like his ideas made it into the game. Did any of them make it into the game? Honestly, when he told me his ideas, I instantly tuned out and didn't listen to what any of them were. No. So I'm going to have to subtly ask him to remind me about what his ideas were. And then I can find out. It was something about food.

He was talking about food a lot. The problem with the Civ is that I don't know whether you noticed this. They gave like two and a half minutes of B-roll footage of gameplay. No. I mean, I haven't actually actually seen i was reading a thread about it and i noticed a couple of people saying that it looked well i was gonna put out a video on it all right but i didn't have time oh um because i'm so broken because of my fucking jet lag yeah you've just been spending all your time talking to hunky six foot three men outside

of your office two weeks in america really made me very used to i'm very acclimatized to it anyway there's two two and a half minutes of footage right yeah and these guys everyone's been covering it um by just copy pasting that two minutes 30 over and over again so it's like i saw a guy did did like an hour long video talking about how his experience is playing the 60 turns of Civ 6. What was the event like? I mean, because I went to an event for Overwatch. Okay. It was like last year or maybe even longer ago.

We went out to Blizzard. Me and Duncan went out to Blizzard. They sat us in their like little cinema thing and showed us footage of McCree at the time. McCree was like the new hero that they were working on. It was like Chris Metzen and Jeff Kaplan talking to just like a room full of people. And it was pretty good. You know, like Jeff Kaplan and Chris Metzen are like, obviously like pretty passionate about Overwatch and stuff. And it was pretty good. But for sieve i mean i just imagine guys with like fucking pocket protectors and like tape holding their glasses together yeah well you see the thing is um we had to put in a nutrition mechanic because um people you know and like i

can just imagine a whole room of people just falling asleep and stuff because sieve's like a cool game it's fun to play and stuff but i think the people that must develop it must be like super duper nerds well you want them to be too right i guess so yeah cool like hipster guys developing sieve because they'll fuck it up well basically i met this guy called um this guy called ed beach okay right who is um he's a pretty nerdy guy but he's he's actually a pretty nerdy guy in the sense that he's actually devised a couple of board games right one of them is called here i stand which is quite a big one on board game geek and i think i think ben and tom have played it i don't think i played it but when i mentioned it to to top to ben he definitely knew

it so this guy is has added a lot of elements to sieve which i think are pretty good and the other guy i met was uh pete hines not pete hines pete murray who is the guy who who was in charge i think of xcom and bringing that up you know making xcom and xcom 2 yeah and he's he's a fucking genius he really is a really good really i really really have a lot of respect for him because he's done so well is that the same guy who used to play all the XCOM games and was like a big fan of XCOM and everything? Yeah. And then sort of revitalized the series.

Yeah, yeah. I remember reading something about him. Yeah. He's a really cool guy, actually. I really like him a lot. And he basically just has a really good eye for like seeing what in a game needs to be taken out and changed and fixed. And I think a lot of people don't have that same eye.

And he really did. I think the good example is taking UFO, the original XCOM, to the new XCOM, and then XCOM to XCOM 2. He really did well picking out what should stay and what should go. Because XCOM 2 was fantastic, by the way, wasn't it? It is a fantastic game. Man, you know what's fucked up, though? This year has been really good for games.

I mean, XCOM 2 I thought was going like, my game of the year this year. Even, like, it came out early in the year sort of thing. And I thought, what's going to top XCOM 2? It's been fantastic. But, like, I played Stellaris. That's been really fucking good. Like, I really enjoy it. I think it's really well done.

Overwatch is out now. I've been playing that. I wasn't, like, looking forward to it or hyped for it or anything. But I have been playing it. It's pretty good. Like, it or hyped for it or anything, but I have been playing it. It's pretty good. Like it's, it's a bit better now, like that it's not in beta or whatever.

There's a lot of good games out right now. Like surprisingly, I didn't think like that many would, would come out, but there's, there's quite a bit out now. Well, I mean,

Overwatch, have you played Doom? Yeah. I played it with Simon while you were away. Oh, of course you did. Yeah. I mean,

he's fucking crouching around. Like he was playing Fallout. Like he was like sniping the aliens with his pistol and stuff. He was too scared to man mode it. You know what's kind of disappointing about Doom? I used to play Doom 1 and Doom 2 back in the day with my friend on like direct connect modem. You know, like remember that? Like when they were DOS games?

Oh, what you had like a... You were talking about the co-op campaign? Yeah, yeah. We used to play it, and it was really fun. You could play it on different difficulties and stuff, and it was awesome. Like, it was a really fun way of playing the game. And they don't have it in the new one.

Kind of sucks. Yeah, it does kind of suck, but I think that it's rightly so. I think that it's a modern shooter. It's got a good little... Do you know what? I really liked it. I don't think I liked it as much as Wolfenstein, but I liked it very nearly as much as Wolfenstein.

It's pretty short, like eight to nine hours I finished the campaign in. And it's not like I was rushing too much. I did spend quite a lot of time looking for the secrets and stuff on each level because there's a lot of secrets. Yeah, yeah. And they're quite fun. Actually, they're not all that fun to find some of them are really fiddly to find a bit of a ball like but i did i did actually really really like the game i really really like the story i think there's a lot of potential for it as well where it's going

i just thought it was a really good game um so what you finished the campaign is is there plans for dlc like more more single player stuff or or are they really focusing on the yeah well the campaign is the campaign's pretty epic right and in fact it leaves a lot more scope for further stuff than wolfenstein did okay i think that i i i think that it definitely leaves the door open for a big dlc like like the wolfenstein dlc which was okay the wolfenstein dlc was good length um and it had a good feel to it but it wasn't as good as the i still haven't played it that's like that's like one of your top recommendations i still haven't i mean if you if you want to sit down and play i i consider these to be the the spiritual success as to half-life in a way right yeah yeah like you know half-life

is all about and i really liked half-life it's just a really good single player first person shooter experience with yeah a bit of fantasy a bit of sci-fi you know and doom really feels like a kind of i don't know i know it's spiritual successor in a way it feels it feels like it's in the same sort of vein yeah i don't know it just it's like it's just the same sort of vein. Yeah. I don't know. It's just really, it's a real shot in the arm. It's a real nice, I had a real good experience playing Doom. I just, it was almost like I'd rented a nine-hour movie or something. You know, that's what it felt like to me rather than buying a £40 game. Yeah, yeah.

Which is a lot. It's a lot, yeah. It's quite an expensive game. So, I mean, I think it'll be just as good at Christmas if you pick it up for, you know, £10 or £12 on the steam sale or whatever yeah yeah over christmas you know and i mean i recommend you do that yeah rather than probably pay 40 quid if you don't know like listeners out there who all right who might not but yeah i mean man i just had a blast playing doom it was it was quite satanic quite the really

really fast good story good pace good weapons looks nice doesn't it it's like a really nice looking felt so nice to play it man it was so so satisfying there were moments in that game okay so basically i can't my story is i came off the plane ride from hell right yeah because i was i went to america came back did a portal to hell open up in the plane honestly it might as well have done it was imagine the most horrific experience you could possibly i i'm not a good plane hang on i'm thinking of the most horrific experience i've ever had all right hit me so i i'm fucking right so here's the problem okay so there i am i'm on the plane i'm fucking we get up on the last day to go away to go home right and so you pack up your bags

and you check out the hotel and there's loads of faff with credit cards oh you know you can't pay for stuff oh you know pretty declined all this shit

go through a hassle trying to get your stuff paid for there seem to be 35 adult movies on your bill how would you like to pay for these

and you're like oh shit what am I going to pay for these because I don't know they haven't got breakfast or something on the last day. And then you put your luggage.

You have to put your luggage with the concierge and hold onto the ticket. And then you have to basically kill that last day kind of thing because you can't really plan anything. Because everyone's like, oh, I don't want to miss the plane. I don't want to miss the plane. I don't want to miss the plane. Super stressed about that. Yeah, but then you're playing.

You turn up to the airport. To go international. I know, Sips. I know. Your plane leaves awkwardly at like one in the afternoon and stuff like that but everyone's saying oh you know but oh it's no so the plane leaves at like the plane left at six o'clock oh my god so we left for the airport at like one o'clock even though yeah yeah we were you know we knew we were going to be airport like

bored out of our fucking wits for ages so we couldn't really do anything it was just a horrible day i was still feeling like pretty queasy and stuff from from other things that we'd done and and so i wasn't feeling good i had a real bad headache i wasn't hung over or anything i just and the day it wasn't very nice day you know it's like a muggy la kind of cloudy day and i got to the airport expecting long old lines and stuff but But then, you know, we couldn't. So LA is fine. We only had to queue for like half an hour or whatever once we found the place and blah, blah, blah, went through.

And then we had to like sit in the airport for like four hours. Now, it's a noisy airport. We didn't get to sit in the premium economy lounge or anything. So we were just in basic economy. Oh, I don't think premium economy have a lounge, by the way. It's just me and Tom Bates. Me and Tom Bates, by that point, have spent two weeks together with each other. At that point, it's like whenever me and you spend a long time together.

We don't even like each other to begin with. We can't even like, yeah. So we didn't really want to talk to each other. Anyway, it got through to like six. We got on the plane and we were like crammed in premium economy. And there were two crying children to the right of me and another crying children to the left of me and it was like a cat had been was was in a bag and it was being beaten on a five minutely basis yeah because this baby and these kids were so

unhappy and so screamy yeah and their parents were so embarrassed about it. And it was it was it was utterly awful. It was my imagine how. Yeah. So the flight is like nine hours. It gets it just drags on the noise is so noisy. You're so cramped in economy. You're like a battery hen being fed these like little weird biscuits and stuff. Yeah. Which I'm not really feeling because I've got like a headache anyway and I'm quite queasy anyway. And this baby's just like screaming over and over and oh my God. And we're sort of sitting fairly near the toilet so you sort of get this occasional waft. Oh yeah, like the pucks that they put into the toilet. Oh, so it was just, it went on and on and on. And I had sort of, I'd run out of stuff to sort of,

and what happened, you know, as soon as I sat down in my seat, the guy in the seat in front of me put his chair back immediately. All the way, yeah. Right, like he didn't even like wait for the plane to take off before he put his seat back, you know. So it was one of those guys where that seat was back the whole time because the seats in economy are pretty tight.

Man, tell me about it. So when his seat's back, if you don't have your seat back as well, that screen is like super close to your face. And the TV was slightly broken. Anyway, it was just everything was wrong with that flight. You know, there was this moment where it all happened, where I was like, I felt like the worst. I put like the blindfold on. And I think there had been this lull in the babies for like a tiny moment.

And I had literally just like had like maybe like 30 seconds or a minute of of like peace okay where suddenly i was dozing off to sleep and i thought oh this is great and then the baby right next to me just hit hit like a massive crescendo of just noise and it was so so frustrating i actually took my blindfold off and i threw it at the baby i'm not even kidding i actually did this on the plane okay and bates just turned to me and looked at me i was like what the fuck are you doing but and obviously the people who um the parents didn't know it was me because a blindfold just came out of nowhere and hit the baby and so i was just like i didn't i

just like just i but i was immediately I immediately regretted what I'd done. But it was one of these moments where it just boiled over. And I know it wasn't their fault. And it's not the baby's fault. Yeah. And that baby's probably having just as much problem as I am. Yeah, you probably traumatized that baby for life. But sometimes.

You just have to throw a blind foot. I frisbeed it. And I didn't intend. Yeah. I didn't intend to hit the baby. But I frisbeed it across the plane. And it was like, I mean, honestly, Sips, if I'd spoken to all the passengers in private and we'd come up with a pact, we would have agreed to throw that family out of the plane.

And then no one would have said, well, we don't know. We would have agreed to keep it all a secret. And we would have all been fine with that. At that point in the plane plane everyone in economy was done we it could have been just one of these like films you know about a group of people who band together to murder someone equally and every one of them does one stab honestly that's because that's pretty standard for parenthood but just actual crazy people go through with it well that's the thing like when the plane landed um and the sort of crying stopped and subsided yeah it was almost like everyone in economy had bonded over some shared traumatic experience and they

were like yeah patting each other on back like oh we made it guys holy shit and like everyone was like oh you know that baby oh wow that baby they're making jokes about like oh that baby's gonna be the next x-factor winner you know oh those lungs you know all these like little jokes and stuff and i i was like i i i i genuinely because i'm an atheist okay you might know this about me i'm a scientist i don't believe in heaven and hell okay i i always used to make jokes like saying oh you know hell it can't be that bad you know yeah i'm looking forward to going there but if hell is sitting on that airplane yeah right with that baby for another nine hours i i'm totally gonna believe in god honestly so i played doom when i got back and where you're going to hell and i thought this place is fucking gorgeous i love it

this yeah compared to what i've been through playing doom it's like a fucking walk in the park what doom needs to do is add screaming babies to make the the experience that much more intense because it does bring out something in you doesn't it like the sound of a screaming crying baby weirdly my fucking i was when i was playing doom i actually thought this is my idea of heaven like going to hell and fucking killing zombies and killing killing fucking giant monsters and blowing them up with a shotgun this is my idea of heaven, like going to hell and fucking killing zombies and killing fucking giant monsters and blowing them up with a shotgun. This is actually the opposite of what it should be, you know?

Yeah. Sorry, so I'm kind of just, I need to calm down after that. I mean, you say that you don't believe in heaven and hell, but what if you find yourself, you know, what if your idea of how everything is and your idea of reality and stuff turns out to be wrong, okay? Let's say you die tomorrow, for argument's sake, okay?

You get hit by a bus and you die. Yeah. You know, the split second before- I'm on my deathbed. Yeah, no, you're not even. You instantly die. You have that split second before the bus hits you where you're like, oh shit, this is it.

I'm going to die. What's going to happen next? And then you're dead, okay? Thank God I'm wearing clean pants. Thank God. thank god even though you know there will be an evacuation your bowels will definitely evacuate because like your body goes into like some sort of like trauma what time have i been hit by this bus because i my body clock is very regular you're like on your way for lunch right so it's like one o'clock okay you're hit by bus and you're dead it's post my mid-morning poop so i've post my mid-morning poop so

i've had my mid-morning poop so i'm unlikely to poop myself again i'm just there could be there could be klingons in there that like you you were unaware of and when they do the autopsy they're like this man was not very thorough when wiping his backside it turns out but otherwise uh we've got massive head trauma here due to the bus hitting him. But boy, does he ever have a filthy asshole. That's got to be said. Put that in the record, Bill. This man did not wipe his ass properly. Okay, so you're dead.

Okay. And you know, like when you're thinking about dying, right? You're like, I wonder what it's going to be like when I die. You're like, is it going to be like when you're thinking about dying, right? You're like, I wonder what it's going to be like when I die. You're like, is it going to be like when you're sitting there and you're playing an iOS game in a chair and you're tired and you just, you know, you like, you sort of nod off, you fall asleep, but you don't realize you've done it. And then you sort of spring back up and you're like,

oh shit, I must've fallen asleep. I think that that's what it's like to die sort of thing. Especially if you're like in a hospital bed and you die of like old age or whatever, or, you know, whatever causes you to die when you're when you're old as hell and you just die yeah it's like falling asleep right but then what if instantly you like wake up again you're like oh fuck i'm dead but like you're trapped in like a really small ventilation shaft and you can't really move and like you're just're just like, oh shit, you know, like you're

claustrophobic as hell and you're trapped there. And at that moment, do you think you'd think yourself, fuck, if only I'd believed in heaven and hell, because clearly now I am in hell for whatever reason. Like, do you ever think about that? You think like, ah, maybe I need to like make amends with God and stuff, just in case I wake up after I've died and I'm stuck in a ventilation shaft or whatever is like the worst possible scenario for you like your own personal fresh hell do you ever think of that I think that that's extreme that's extremely um do you know what I do think about it okay Sips and I think it's extremely western and also ignorant way to think about it okay I mean you say all this but the fact is you wake up after

you've died and you're stuck in a snow avalanche for the rest of eternity no way out i mean that's fucked up man i don't i would like to avoid that somehow honestly i don't think that's too bad i'm sure it would get what i'm sure look i i guess it doesn't get better it gets worse i guess what i mean is that everyone else is this is a famous quote by someone smarter than me, but everyone else is an atheist towards everyone else's religions anyway, right? So Christians are just a mass of atheists. They're atheists towards Thor and, you know, sun god belief and paganism and Hinduism and Sikhism and all that. So you don't believe in their ideas of heaven and hell. You know, the majority of the people on the earth

don't believe in your kind of idea of what it is. So I don't think there's any afterlife. I think that, you know, you get one life and you should live it. It makes the idea of this life more important if you understand that it is the only one, you know. Yeah, but do you think that like, after what I said before about before about you know worrying about what's going to happen in the afterlife do you think that that's like a big motivator for people to become religious in the first place in this life i don't know like this is a good old this is a good old topic which is always going to be argued about i think that if

you're i think that i don't know religion is it the opiate of the masses sips i don't know. Religion. Is it the opiate of the masses, sips? I don't know. It's difficult to know. I think in my case, I think I could be scared into being religious though. Like if somebody had concrete proof that, you know, if I don't like do my prayers and do some Hail Marys or whatever it is you need to do, and I could end up waking up like in some sort of, you know, bunker with somebody up waking up like in some sort of you know bunker with somebody i didn't like for the rest of eternity or you know stuck in a ventilation shaft or stuck in an avalanche or just like really cramped into like a tight spot you know buried alive uh in a coffin i would be like i'd be scared into it i'd be like whoa shit yeah tell me what i need

to do so that i can avoid all that stuff. So the only reason you're going to be a good man is because you're scared into it by religion telling you that you're going to go to space prison. Yeah, is that a rule? Yeah, God. Actually, I don't know. That wouldn't be so bad, waking up and floating through space like in a capsule. I'd be okay with that, I think. I mean, it's kind of – you've got to understand that people 100 years ago couldn't even imagine the idea of the internet or computers or a lot of things, or walking on the moon necessarily. No, yeah.

Maybe they could imagine walking on the moon. But, you know, a thousand years ago, or 2,000 years ago, when these religions were founded, you know, certainly they didn't even really know what the sun was. They didn't really know very much at all, you know, about the heavens and the earth and the nature of the planet that we live on and the reality. And therefore people's current knowledge forms the boundaries of their imagination. Yeah. By which I mean they can only imagine certain so much you know we we have we having a great deal of knowledge now about nature of the universe lets us postulate what possible scenarios there could be that heaven

or hell might exist and it was a lot more i think plausible when we didn't understand the things we now understand i think that get yourself educated a lot of our audience will be religious and christian and because a lot of americans are and a lot of british people are and a lot of people are it's just a thing and it usually is a thing you think they are though because they're scared though because again no i i think that they are because they their parents were on the flip side though imagine you died and you went to heaven and you thought that heaven was going to be like holy shit incredible and you got there and it was like just kind of okay like it's not that many naked chicks here like i thought there'd be way more i've thought about this a bit before but like heaven

what do you mean your idea of heaven might not align with other people's idea of heaven, right? So even like in a family, you know, my idea of heaven might be, you know, having my grandparents alive. But it would have to be alternate realities to suit each person, right? Like each person would have to have their own ideal sort of thing, right? Like as a reward for living a good life like that's how heaven should work let me let me just give you this paradox right so you know i said this at first but imagine i went to heaven and i wanted to you know my idea of heaven would be you know hanging out with my whole family my parents my grandparents you know everyone all

there okay yeah my granddad everything is made of mayonnaise my granddad doesn't want to be like an old man he wants to be you know 21 year old i know but in his heaven he would be a 21 year old hunk but in your heaven i know it would still be your old ass granddad who's kind of stunk but you love him anyway anyway and i know people could counter that by saying well you can't question heaven like this you know who knows what heaven's like? You know, heaven is too complicated. It's beyond your imagination. I don't think it's like a big sort of communal, like, you know, it's made of clouds

and there's gates and stuff like that. Like, I don't think it's like that, unless it is. And then you might get there and you might be like, this is some bullshit. Like, I don't want to fucking wear a toga. You know, I don't want to go to meetings about beards or whatever they do up here. Like, I want to fucking wear a toga. You know, I don't want to go to meetings about beards or whatever they do up here. Like I want to do crank with like bitches.

A lot of people, you just want to do lines of bitches' asses. That's right. I know you do. Right out of their asses. I know you do. That's my idea, heaven. I'm not sure that's heaven though. I think that's kind of, maybe that is heaven.

Are you allowed to be lusty as hell in heaven? So like, you know, because they sort of preach to you in this life like you know don't cheat on your wife don't do this and stuff but then when you get to heaven you're like well actually all i've ever wanted to do is snort coke out of a prostitute's ass crack and like i know that that's cheating on my wife but now that i'm here and this heaven i've been good my whole life can i now do these sinful things things i want to have i want to have sex with an anime doll now you point me to the bible first it says it's not okay to have sex with an anime doll or to snort cocaine out of a hooker's well again i mean the bible was written a long time ago so i

think they tried to write it in such a way where it was like a catch-all you know so it's like you know they tried to be really really generic in in this teaching so that's why some of those commandments like maybe that's covered the neighbor's ass don't don't stick your dick in any hole except for your wife's i don't know like i don't know exactly what the wording is but yeah yeah make sure it's always in your wife's front hole and nowhere else and stuff like that and that's a pretty good catch-all because that it immediately eliminates like if you're glory holing i forget it you're going to hell i think that was in uh in luke actually verse 5 14 yeah thou shalt not insert thy dangle. Verse 69, colon, 420. Thou shalt not snort coke off Hitler's boner. Sips, 420, 69.

Yeah, that's right. Oh, my God. So, oh, God. So, honestly, I genuinely had a real bad journey coming back. Sounds like it. It was awful. Honestly, it sounds pretty bad but at the same time i mean i'm not you you went home right you went home and you let me guess you had

like a full fucking night's sleep you're kind of jet lagged but like still there was nothing really pressing no nobody's like asking you anything or getting you to do anything like you probably just like you woke up in the middle there you're like a'm a bit jet lagged and you looked at over at your wardrobe and you saw your collection of turtleneck sweaters hanging up you're like you can't sleep maybe i'll just watch something on netflix for a bit or whatever so i don't basically what i'm saying is i don't feel bad for you i got two kids okay fucking man i got off the plane complaining all right shut up sips got off the plane uh it was like 11 in the morning uk time okay so i've been up since seven or whatever yeah you know america so it's been at least i've been up for about like 24 hours by

now maybe not 24 hours but quite a long time we've put the clocks forward. It's 11am. It's pouring with rain in the UK. It's a shitty day. It's like two hours to get my bag or some bullshit because it just takes ages. We get out.

We've got a taxi. Wait about half an hour for that. And the taxi driver literally talks to me for like the two hour drive about the Brexit in my ear.

Just like yammering away. I obviously made some polite conversation and then he gave me the old taxi driver opinion on the brexit yeah um and basically i'm now fully brainwashed and fully converted towards the brexit i'm like yeah let's do we have sex with you a couple of times in different ways and sort of say there's there's like cameras here that we use to like monitor people in the cabs and stuff because that's probably on the internet he mind fucked me it's what he did on the brexit then i got out of the car at my flat i'm gonna ignore your suggestion it wasn't just me in the taxi there was other people there what tom bates too yeah

yeah he was getting fucked that sounds messy he was just as he was just as in bad shape as i was nice um and then i got home but it's always there's some stupid like fucking works going on outside my flat all the time on the topic of that sorry to interrupt you what outside of my dad garage right now uh like part of the road collapsed in like there's a big hole in the road and there's literally like 20 dudes out there like paving it and fucking hammering it and doing shit like can you hear any of this going on in the background no it's loud as fuck it sounds good though yeah it's pretty interesting like maybe people will be able to hear it my son loves it like every day

on the way home from school we just have to stand there for like three hours watching these guys like what are they doing now? They're still staring at the fucking hole. Like they're not doing anything. And he's just like so interested in like the construction work and stuff. Or, well, the fucking total lack of. I mean, I don't understand how long it takes to fill up a hole. But maybe I'm just one of those typical guys, you know, who's just like,

Yo, just give me a hammer. I can do it. Pay pay me six wages for that i could do it in five minutes i'm extremely suspicious of people who work on these things right because these these people this is going on outside my flat for about six months now and what they do is they they start at eight o'clock in the morning they turn all their engines, and they actually sometimes it's like 7.30. So that's pretty early, right? Yeah. Since I don't normally get up till like 7.30. And so I'm woken up by like beep, beep, beep, and like fucking generators going.

It's right outside, literally right outside my fucking window. I'm in the worst possible place for it. And they drive this fucking thing back and forth. And they're supposed to be like cleaning the roof, but they of don't they just drive around they talk shit to each other they like fuck around they waste the time then they stop about 11 and have like a four-hour lunch break and then they start getting to do the same old shit from two till five so i got home about two and just in time for their fucking afternoon fuck around session and it wasn't only that there was someone on the river

near me doing some sort of riveting and it seemed like a gunshot going off every fucking like so i'm there like i've been awake for probably like 26 27 hours i really want to try and go to sleep and all i can hear is these assholes outside so it was just the worst and then eventually i finally fucking got to sleep about 5 p.m in the afternoon and then woke up at like 11 p.m and couldn't sleep so that was up all night playing jesus you you are a young victor mildrew victor mildrew fucking well said sips, man. Holy shit. It was just a terrible experience. But do you know what? I was like, do you know what I thought this morning?

Because I don't have any food in my flat at all. I didn't have any, I don't have any. I sat there in my flat and I thought, do you know what? I'm glad there's a cockroach in my flat to share this experience with me, right? Because there's no food in my flat for this cockroach to eat flat to share this experience with me right because i because there's no food in that flat for this in my flat for this cockroach to eat or me right so we share yeah your cockroach i forgot about that it's probably gonna starve to death you're like wally as well in a way remember wally had like a little sad now i feel like i should it's like it's like my only

companion yeah in my flat yeah do you have a whole bunch of junk that you've collected like fuck me sort of stored and put arranged it into like organizational areas brushed it into piles just have like a ton of light bulbs in one bin and then like just a bunch of computer chips and another one i haven't i have not my flat is like sparsely it's like it's like it's like like breaking bad you know jesse's apartment where he's just got a mattress on the floor. It's like that. It's weird, isn't it? Because when you move to a place, like when I moved into my garage,

I was like, oh man, it's going to be really nice. Going to have this, that, and the other. And in the end, I totally did it half-assed. It's not finished. And I just sit here in amongst piles of junk that I haven't unpacked and stuff. And it can't be good for your your mental health right like being like that like are you like that with your apartment

too just got like a mattress on the floor you don't even use sheets anymore like you can't be bothered fucking nothing's unpacked just boxes everywhere all your turtlenecks are in one box you just like easily get them out of there and stuff you don't have anything oh yeah wasn't your place like already furnished and it had utensils and stuff too yeah yeah because didn't you tell me that you moved in and there's like a weird wooden spoon or something but it was like spaghetti sauce like ingrained into it or something yeah it's like it's like someone's really loved that wooden spoon and i thought you know i've used this wooden spoon for like a year i'm sure the person who moves in after me is gonna really love this too and it's like quite the did your mom ever have

a wooden spoon with like where she drew like an angry face on it and threatened you with it oh my god what a strange thing to say it is related to wooden spoons i think i do remember something like that happening yeah i think i i think i do remember that is have we got the same mother baby i think it was like a kind of a common thing in the 80s do you do that to your no you can't do that nowadays jesus christ why not because like it's not the same as it was in the 80s in the 80s like i think you could just about get away with like kind of like spanking your kids and slapping them around a bit and stuff but society's moved on so much since then i think if your kid goes to school and he's like hey my dad hit me or something you know they're like the cops will come to your house like in 20 minutes we didn't we didn't say

that like you just said you're an angry face and a wooden spoon yeah but like with the intent of hitting you with it at least threatening you with it right really i didn't didn't read between the lines on that at all well i'm pretty sure we had that spoon because it was like oh angry spoon man's gonna come and get you so you better like listen to what i'm saying like oh shit i don't want to be hit with that so Is it like the naughty step equivalent? Kind of, yeah. Like, you know, you get spanked with a spoon with a frowny face drawn on it in sharpie. I don't think I ever got spanked with it, but you never know. Did you ever get spanked at all? Did you ever get hit with a slipper or a belt? No, I don't think I did, actually.

I got threatened to a couple of times, I'm sure. But I don't ever remember actually being, like, spanked or anything. Did you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. i got spanked quite a lot but i never like actually got like i never got the long spanking session thank you well come on my dad what so he's gonna like bend you over his knee and spank you like like how long does it take to spank someone like two seconds like what well no he never like well he doesn't actually bend you over his knee and spank you no he never bent me over his knee but he did he did spank me occasionally with like a back of a slipper or like just if i'd be naughty weird thing isn't it like what's the point of that

what what is what does it do though like what's the point of it taught me to be a disciplined young... It taught me that my dad was an asshole, basically. I didn't do it like every day. I didn't get like beaten around with a belt like some Hollywood trope. No. It was more like just, you know, I'd obviously done something really fucking stupid like a kid does. Like it's just some twatty thing that I probably

deserved it. And he just was like, don't do that. And then he slapped me with a slipper or something. Yeah, it was never like bad, but it hurt. It was a little bit of punishment. But back in the day, he would get proper caned and stuff in school across the knuckles and things. So he was a real kind of old school.

That's pretty old school, yeah. They're not allowed to do that anymore. Like most of them would actually have to do time in jail. No. And of course, if you go to jail for doing something like that, like pretty much, I mean, if you get into jail and you've done that, like the Aryan nation aren't going to let you into their gang. So you're fucked basically.

Because you need to ally yourself straight away in jail with like a gang or whatever. Yeah. Otherwise your life is just gonna be a living hell even worse than flying on a plane with babies on it which sort of faction would you align yourself well it's very sort of racial in jail isn't it so i see you haven't got much choice yeah depending on the color of your skin but um further to that i think that a lot of the gangs are like you know we're not going to let a like pedophile into our gang and we're not going to let somebody who like canes children at school in our gang or slaps

them with like a meter stick or anything like that so you have to be or a wooden spoon i mean much like worrying about heaven and hell in the afterlife i mean what you do on a day-to-day basis you need to worry about because if one day you go to prison that shit's going to catch up with you right why do you i mean i i think that a lot of people do go to prison for like the wrong like not even though they haven't done a thing so you know it's not a zero percent chance that you're you might end up in prison one day in fact it's more likely you end up in prison one day than you end up in hell or heaven i think maybe yeah so why are we worried about heaven and hell well worry about prison it's true you know you're always just like one paycheck away

from going to prison right you default on your mortgage what does that mean you know um i don't know it's like two two catchphrases combined into one i think possibly i Possibly. I don't know. It's always a slippery slope until prison. It's always... The road to prison is a long, slippery mudslide with no cushioning at the bottom to catch you. It's paved with Hitler's boner. Jesus Christ. The road to prison.

Fuck me. Oh, Jesus. Anyway, games. Can we talk about video games now? Yeah, sure. Well, we talked about them before, I guess, but it's very likely that Purion is not going to make it to this podcast. At this point, it's looking pretty grim.

I mean, that control point's probably still not sorted out if the guy's outside my house fixing a hole or anything to go by. There's probably five dudes wearing bright neon jackets standing in a hallway in Heathrow staring at a control checkpoint hoping it fixes itself. And they've probably been doing that for like three hours. Yeah, and just talking about Brexit. Talking about Brexit and whatever.

So, games. I played a lot of FTL when I couldn't sleep on my iPad. Shit. Which is an old school game. I played the enhanced edition on iPad. I mean, I played a lot of it on PC like three or four years ago and I saw Duncan was playing on his iPad recently

so I downloaded it. And man, I've really enjoyed playing it again actually. But I'm kind of done. I did like a couple of playthroughs. Yeah, it's one of those games like you play it a few times i have lots of few ships and i'm done i'm so yep that's i've moved on from that what have you done give me a game um well i i finished playing stranded deep which i was playing for a bit was pretty fun um it's like one of these like survival games and then in between that I was waiting for Overwatch to come out because the open beta ended I played it a bit in open beta and even though I wasn't really

like looking forward to it coming out or or anything I wasn't like overly hyped for it or anything open beta was a bit different for me because I think the player pool was just bigger so it was just the games were just a bit more enjoyable because I was playing mostly against people at my skill level and not just a bunch of fucking TF2 streamers who are, you know, exceptionally good at headshotting you in all sorts of weird and wacky ways and shit like that. You know, the kind of shit that makes you rage quit a game. So I kind of enjoyed the tail end of the Overwatch open beta. And I was looking forward to it releasing because I thought I'll play it a bit,

you know, because it's a new blizzard game or whatever so in between i played a bit of prison architect to pass the time played a bit of stelaris to pass the time i played fucking war thunder have you heard did i tell you about war thunder oh my god yeah i've seen it like on yeah yeah it's like a free to play like tank and plane simulator game uh but it's you can play there's like an arcade mode which is like very fun and fast and stuff and you get like lots of extra lives and then there's like a realistic mode and then there's another mode beyond realistic mode so realistic mode like when you run out of ammo in your plane you actually have to turn around and go and land and like restock and stuff like so the

battles are a little bit longer and then there's like this ultra realistic mode where it's like even worse than that um it's fun though like it's it's nice looking for a free game all multiplayer battles yeah yeah it's all multiplayer it's all it's like online yeah you can like make a squadron and you know do these tank battles or or plane battles and now they have like combined arms so like occasionally when you're in a tank battle you can hop into a plane just like shoot some stuff or whatever it's kind of cool it's all right for a free game it's okay it's like tremendously grindy they got like all the all the usual shit in a free game premium currency that you can buy and speed things up it's free

to play but it's not pay to win from what i can tell like there's nothing that really gives you an edge that you can pay for most of the stuff that you pay for is just to speed up you researching or unlocking different planes but i don't think anything is so overpowered against anything else that it matters kind of thing um it was fun. It was fun for like a day or two. And then Overwatch came out. I've just been playing that. Overwatch is out and good. I saw Battleborn or whatever that released.

That's not really done very well. It's a pretty similar game. They reduced it to the same price, didn't they, on the Overwatch release day, 40 bucks? Yeah, I think they tried to get it out just before Overwatch to sort of see if they could convert people over. But Blizzard is just too much of a beast aren't they they're just too big i'm gonna have to have a look at it uh i did i did play a bunch of total warhammer i think that it suffers towards the end of the um the the campaign end game you know but much like stelaris does where

it kind of doesn't really have a very the victory conditions are not very good right no but a stelaris is one of those it's a because it's paradox and it's you know there'll be dlc that comes out that'll just make the game in three years stelaris will be fucking fantastic it's gonna be fixed a lot and i think i think total warhammer will get its updates too but i think that it needs both games need more victory conditions because both of them the great thing about Civ 5 is that you sometimes end the game in a good place right where you can click just one more turn but no one does right so you can keep playing Civ 5 after you've hit a victory condition if you want to just one more turn thing but it kind of leaves you wanting more it ends you in a good place right where I think Stellaris and total war have a big amount of mopping up to

do like to finish them off and a lot of times i don't want to do that like for me in my head it gets to a point where i think okay this is now just a tight this is now just a grind and i don't want to grind so i'm not going to bother finishing this game and i kind of end up with a little bit of a feeling of dissatisfaction sometimes when i finish this yeah yeah so yeah i'm not i'm not as keen on that as i used to be me and duncan are playing factorio on stream again we're using the mods oh they're the ones you told me about yeah yeah man we died in like an hour because we the the the aliens are a lot harder they invade a lot harder and we we just got overrun shit so we started again and we're a lot more protective so when me and you played factorio we barely had any problems with the aliens at all did we no because we were playing

on like um they attack you if you attack them sort of thing like we didn't have it on they were like passive or whatever so oh right well the whole alien thing is garbage anyway like fucking it is pretty garbage like you just want to make a factory you don't want to be worrying about it's kind of like in minecraft like you just want to build stuff and you don't really want to worry about a creeper coming up and just wrecking your shit every five seconds like it's not really the point of it sort of thing yeah like it's cool that there's creepers and stuff in dungeons or whatever but you know if you're going down there it has a different spin on things it does and when you've got when you're playing multiplayer it allows you to

kind of have something else to do though as well which is nice because it means that someone can spend time defending or attacking bugs like you were mostly attacking bugs when we played anyway the end yeah it was yeah but it's just because we needed to free up some space i guess we need to collect all the um little artifacts and stuff oh yeah and we needed their jizz to to make new stuff man i enjoyed factorio a lot i think it was a really satisfying game yeah it was a fun it's fun well that's all i've been playing really though but doom oh it's great yeah i'm gonna play that i i enjoyed playing it with simon like i played it we did the steam streaming thing so i i could like hot seat with him while he was playing it uh and even just

playing it it was like kind of pixelated a bit laggy for me to play but it was it was cool man like i liked it it's really satisfying doing those finishing moves on the aliens like ripping their heads off and stuff it was pretty cool god there is a game that came out on steam it's on the top seller it's called youtuber's life have you seen oh yeah i've heard of it yeah yeah are you gonna get it looks fucking garbage yeah you're gonna play this shit i had doug and kim were playing it the other day so there might be some videos out oh yeah with them what about seduce me to the demon war that's out on steam now as well man we just like troll these these terrible games age of cavemen which uses all of the same sort of like art as

clash of clans which is a new thing now isn't it mobile gaming has basically just become how do we make our game look like clash of clans to dupe people into buying our game that's right thinking that they're getting clash of clans yeah well what you do is you make a game called Civ 6 that looks a lot like... Clash of Clans? Controversial. It does, doesn't it? That's the... Oh, man.

Well, I guess kind of like the way that things are going, I guess. You told me about this open TTD called Simutrans on Steam, which looks like... You thought it was something to do with transgendered people, but it's actually nothing to do with them. Well, I've been looking at YouTubers' life, so I assumed that it was a gender-changing simulator or something like that.

I don't know. I didn't know what it was when you told me. But Simutrans is a transportation sim, of course, where you make a train that's transporting prosthetic dinguses and balls and people some some vagines some vajayjays that's right and just you know loading up on those transporting them where they need to go just generally helping people out uh great well airport madness 3d is also out which i think by the looks of it this looks like you know that game that you

had on your ipad where it's like you had to direct the planes in and show them which route to take to land on the runway it's like one of the first like ios games and everybody thought that like iphones and ipads were amazing because of this game where you could like be an air traffic controller well this game looks like it's that but it's like in 3d so you sit in the tower and you have to tell like um roger pedactor 3 2 1 9-2 a to hold the flight pattern while some other dangus lands and stuff like that yeah that could be fun i mean i'm not saying it's gonna it's gonna blow my mind or anything but you know a couple hours it's not gonna change the world is it it's not gonna change the mind or anything, but, you know, a couple hours. It's not going to change the world, is it? It's not going to change the world.

So, right, I think we've reached the point in the podcast where we've kind of run out of stuff to say. Have we? Yeah, I've run out of stuff to say. We didn't even do questions or anything. I mean, to be fair, though, we didn't realize that we were going to be doing this. We sort of just like off the cuff said,

wouldn't it be funny if we started doing it and then Pirion just turned up and he hasn't turned up turned up yeah because he's obviously like waylaid or whatever so now that's cool because we can check with him next time about the poker so now we've done one we've done the whole thing without him so really he might be pissed off about it he might be but we'll find out give me give me let's do the questions and then we'll i don't I don't have any. I didn't ask any. Do you want me to ask some right now? It's like, okay. Do you have any questions for the Triforce?

Because we're not recording it. Oh, yeah, we are recording on the right day. Podcast? I guess people didn't know whether. Dot, dot, dot, question mark. There we go. Wow. Okay, i'm waiting for them flood in we'll just do them as they come in okay all right it's taking a little while i think everybody's just like waking up you know twitter's just gone off on their phones and it was like fuck i was asleep why is my phone beeping what does this asshole want from me now a couple of people are retweeting that now

um a few people are favoriting that tweet it's probably up there with some of the best uh we have one from jordy jordy zandhuis uh and he wants to know what is our opinion on stroopwafels oh um they're good when you balance them on a I like how you can balance them on a cup of tea. Yeah. A mug of tea. I like that. They're like one of those things, to me they're one of those things where you're kind of hungry,

you're looking for something sweet, you're rummaging through your cupboards and there's nothing. And then you just come across a pack of Stroopwafels and you're like, yeah, that'll do. And you eat them. The whole pack. Because you're kind of that'll do and you eat them the whole pack because you're kind of hungry okay next um we got one from nathan here why are you so sexy what a difficult question

to answer maybe uh i don't know is it is it the fact that you work out and just generally look after your body you eat like a high protein you you oh is it steroid injection i boxer size as well so that that that goes a long way toning and yeah just generally making me appear more more of a hunk rub the oil in yeah oil rubbing and yeah lots of lots of boner sizes to the wet towel pump your boner and lift the wet towel just make your make your dick like better harder and faster anyway see this is what happens when the questions come in but we don't have any time to filter them well we don't really filter them much anyway uh next question is i still don't know this is from epic harbinger uh did i pronounce that right harbinger yes okay sure harbinger harbinger harbinger

harbinger harbinger harbinger yeah anyway he says i still don't know where and when to watch the podcast can we get a link and time go fuck yourself well what does that mean maybe he just doesn't know next um i'm just joking don Don't do that. They're flooding in now. There's a whole bunch of stuff coming in. Oh, good. I'm excited. Let's go.

Let's go through them quick. It's taken a while. We'll go through a few, okay? This is from Beyond Top Secret. What are you wearing, Lewis? And is it sexy? Also, Sips, please stop with dad jokes. I cry every time.

And he's used the face with tears of joy emoticon or is it is it an emoji now i don't even know i have um do you want the full rundown i have some vans on my feet oh yeah i've got some are those new because like you used to have a pair of like cross trainers i guess uh i've got some ankle socks and vans ankle socks as well and then i've got a pair of very tight shorts on like super tight like so tight that you can see the outline of my micropenis dick and balls okay my very small very small it looks like somebody's put like a one single paracetamol tablet into the front of my head and uh that's just smooth otherwise yeah it's like it's like i'm wearing a box it's like he's got like he's got a vajay but except for that one little paracetamol and then i'm not actually

wearing the shirt I just painted on sweet on chocolate body paint yeah actually I'm wearing an apron that has ladies breasts painted on it because I'm about

to do some barbecuing and I have a bald completely shaved bald head oh okay and yeah me too

like tribal tribal like blue paint like lightning bolts on it like Braveheart yeah only like cross between that and harry potter and i'm wearing harry potter glasses cool so yeah i mean if you're

up for doing some fan art of that uh we would we would gladly look at that fan art so there's that anyway this one is from epic noah these questions are really good this morning actually who's your daddy and what does he do uh my dad's retired i think lewis is my dad is also a retired accountant yes cool you've met my dad uh if you've watched any of the streams no i haven't met him i'm too scared to now i make fun of him quite a bit it's nice you'd like my dad and if he listens to any of this stuff he'll be like maybe he'll spank me when he sees me maybe he he will. That'd be crazy. I'd like that. Only if you ask nicely. Really nicely. Really sexy.

Ask him real sexy and he'll spank you for sure. Paul asks, why are you so inconsistent on new content for the weekly podcast? Well, there's a good reason for that. We go away sometimes and we can't record it. And we have like a set day and time where we record it because we're all grownups with like stuff to do. If we can't make it to that, then we don't reschedule it because we're all grown-ups with like stuff to do if we can't make it to that then we don't reschedule it and we miss a week so what a boring answer in question next um

so that was that one kath ryan do you have to do like a massive every time you look can't you just like well no i'm sort of like kind of going through them a bit. Like some of them are just like... Oh, I see. You're scanning them, right? You're not just doing them in order. Well, I'm not even scanning them. You know what I'm doing? I'm looking at Twitter avatars to see which ones are the most interesting.

And then I read those ones because some of them are pretty dumb. Like there's a picture here of a guy. It's not even a guy. It's like a pink bunny rabbit that looks like it's like a done in ms paint which has caught my eye mike grim and the question is china oh yeah so there you go great question yeah thank you um anyway last one oh that's a good one chimple sticks this is at the top of my notifications chimple sticks asks what's everyone's favorite Seinfeld episode? Oh, it's a good one.

It's a really good one. Yeah, you know what? You know what my favorite episode is? I think my favorite episode is the one where Kramer and Jerry swap apartments because of the Kenny Rogers chicken that's moved in. Kramer gets addicted to the chicken kramer starts going nuts because he's like made a deal or he can get free chicken um so and they can put the sign up and it's like that red glow coming into his room and he can't sleep and

everything and and jerry had they do a swap jerry becomes more like kramer because he's like living in kramer's house and stuff and i think that's my favorite one so much fucking shit happens in that one too I think I I think my my favorite's got to be the one where Kramer buys the hot tub and falls asleep in it is that the one where he's like washing lettuce and stuff like in in the shower or is that different you remember the one where Kramer has a talk show in his apartment yes there an episode where kramer oh he had to swap clothes with someone in a in a shop somewhere and oh my god anyway this the hot tub one is where he falls asleep in his hot tub and his core temperature drops because the power goes out and so he like is freezing to death and um and then i don't know he it's just immense it's a really weird episode i love that his core temperature drops oh god fucking seinfeld is

so good oh it makes me want to go back and watch it um if we lived in north america you meant if did you watch any tv while you were in la? Because like they show Seinfeld literally like 700 times a day on American TV. I didn't turn it on. But if you turn on American TV at any time, it's just this crazy stuff on. Yeah, it's weird. And the commercials are always the same. It's always for like something to do with diabetes. Like every commercial is like,

hey, you know how you have to do like a pinprick on yourself multiple times a day to test you to see what your diabetes levels are why not get a custom pinprick thing with your name engraved in it it's like it's like it's it's it's all this like weird shit around people having diabetes like i don't get it like every commercial is like that oh god it's really weird but the first thing to happen was we were in the car on from the airport going to america and they was like just listening to you know talk radio or whatever and there was an advert for some sort of medicine and after the advert it was like this medicine will maybe make us your project fall off and also for you to get it was like really really really long kind of like yeah and it's always like really bad all the side

effects yeah yeah side effects of this one might be that you might want to kill somebody you might also get AIDS you might also have a big donger coming out of your

noose I don't know it's like crazy shit your dad might accidentally fuck your ass one day I don't know it's like you may find yourself

you may find yourself with a beautiful house and a beautiful wife and also a bent over you dad's knee while he's spanking you that's right that's exactly while he's spanking you. That's right.

That's exactly what it's like. And you're like, what did he just say? But you never really like, you never really quite catch it. Yeah. It's really funny. It's pretty funny.

With that, we'll leave for this week. Thank you for listening to this Travel Spock podcast. We'll be back next time with PFLAX hopefully. Yeah. See you then. Peace and love.

Bye. we'll be back next time with pflax hopefully yeah see you then peace and love