Triforce! - Triforce! #111: How to Spot a Boomer

Episode Date: January 22, 2020

Triforce! Episode 111! Sips hates Microwaves, Lewis hates the beach and Pyrion hates real life lootboxes! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's a little popper. Welcome back to Triforce Podcast, everyone. Period. Is that Agnes? That's the new host of the show. We got a dog. We should start with a little barking. What's that, Lassie? A new Triforce? Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.

You take it from here, Lassie. Episode 111, you say? Wow, that's a lot of episodes of a podcast. Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. Oh, yeah, I know. My dong is huge. I don't know if it's more this way. Bark once for every episode of the Joyfuls podcast.

Peanut butter? That's disgusting, Lassie. No, I just... My dog does love peanut butter. I'd never put that anywhere near my dangus. No. I didn't realize Lassie was so attuned, like a dog sniffing dog. Instead, she's a dog sniffing dog?

A drug sniffing dog? Sexually active. Well, most dogs are, I think, yeah. Lassie was in heat. Jesus. Yeah. I thought Lassie was a boy. I thought Lassie was always a guy.

Oh. I know it's got a girl name. I misunderstood that whole show then. What did you think the show was about? Oh, no, no, Lassie's a girl. Lassie's a girl. I was convinced it was a boy I just thought it was one of those

they used to have names I hope we're not assuming here do we know for sure? it's 2020, we shouldn't assume where does Lassie prefer to be? is the question welcome back everyone how's your week been?

have you had a good time? you done a lot of good stuff exciting things sure i have i've started tracking my i saw a post on reddit over the new year that was like this guy was tracking his year and every hour he noted down what he did and it was like i took a shit for an hour like jesus christ a shit for an hour like basically it turns out that a lot of his like a lot of his diary was filled with waste time yeah okay which feels like you know be you know that when you're on your phone or like when you're just like fucking you know like just just you can't you did something this morning but you can't remember what you know and it wasn't like you weren't watching anything on

tv or playing a game or anything just real just just real, just wasting time. Yeah. And so I've started doing the same. I've tracked every hour this year so far that I've spent. And man, I've played a lot of games. I've read a few books. And already it's making me do stuff. Like I'm looking at this diary thing I've made and I'm like, oh God, it looks a bit like I'm not doing anything useful. So I've started to be more proactive.

It's already improving my life. Right. It's what I'm saying? It's a bit weird. What? What? Come on, P flex. What a load of fucking navel gazing bollocks. It's the season for all this, isn't it? Like, everybody's going out and buying Tupperware containers to like sort out their shoes. And everybody's getting back to the gym and stuff. It like you know you want to be reminded continually of your own mortality and the fact that your life is ebbing away hour by hour go ahead and write down everything you've fucking done and think i'm wasting my life well so every hour base jumped off the eiffel tower uh scuba dive to the deepest part of the ocean i mean jesus christ yeah all right most of our lives are spent doing very little welcome to being a human being scuba dive to the deepest part of the ocean. I mean, Jesus Christ.

Yeah, all right. Most of our lives are spent doing very little. Welcome to being a human being. Congratulations. Well, no, I agree. His was fairly sad. And mine's fairly sad too. But people do keep diaries and they keep scrapbooks of holidays

and they put physical photos in physical photo albums. I've made one for my nan. I have no problem with that. physical photo albums have no problem with my man have no problem with that what i do have a problem with is people being so obsessed with their own lives and what they're doing and how fucking fascinating they want to be that they note down every single bloody thing they do and i'm sorry if the average day isn't thrilling for you but jesus christ well that's social media though isn't it that's that's the immediate diary if it's a lie you know it's a lie people post on instagram of themselves looking fabulous with filters and lighting and they're like hey look at me doing something awesome but let me tell you something

right now do you want me to blow your mind do you want do you want me to blow your mind right now okay i want you to blow my dick right now all right i'm gonna do both you know what i've got the time let's get lassie in here get fucking lassie in here lassie lassie blow my dick so a lot of these uh instagram models that you'll see loads of the pictures of them chilling in their house yeah hanging out they're just with friends and all of a sudden they're on a yacht in the middle of the mediterranean yeah no explanation for how they got there because they get paid to go out there and fuck a rich dude for a week. They take a load of pictures and that's how they make their money. Oh, well, wait, wait to ruin that one for me. Sorry, homie. But they never tell you just here I am at the beach. It's like, wait, you take 18 holidays a fucking year. What's going on here,

man? Because I know you ain't making that kind of money from Instagram. Where I live, I'm a stone's throw away from a beach at any given moment and they're beautiful beaches beautiful huge and um they're like they're like top the top rated beaches in europe like they're the cleanest they're the nicest and stuff am i ever down on that beach fuck no i'm not okay i don't like the beach at all like i i don't get i don't get what the fascination is with the beach the kind of smells like the dried up seaweed fucking stinks there's like crustaceans and all sorts of crap like hidden amongst the rocks and and stuff and like the water's cold you can't drink that water because it's full salt like it

i just don't think the beach has much going for it you know like i got a backyard if i want to lay in the sun i just lay back there it's a lot you know i don't i won't get covered in sand you know what i remember i had a bone to pick with you mr lovers okay i i was playing games last night with my boys and one of them said that you claimed that the microwave was a boomer appliance i didn't i did indeed listen Listen, I said this, okay, because I just thought that it was funny that I'm constantly called a boomer for some reason. Like people call me a boomer for all sorts of reasons. I get that all the time. I just think that it's funny that like this technology that everybody was like going, oh, like in the 60s or the 70s or whenever the goddamn thing came out, you know, like the microwave. And it's this big, loud fucking box with like this stupid ass control panel on it.

It's like the ultimate boomer technology. You know what I mean? What are you talking about? No, I don't. It's like this like space age appliance that like your parents first came across when they were like in their teens yeah it's made of like 1960s plastic it's like a dirty box yeah that you plug into the wall yeah right it get it fucking blows air around and shit like it like and it makes that stupid ass noise and then some of the older ones have that ding at the end when it's ready i know the new ones

probably like beep or whatever but like it feels when it's ready. I know the new ones probably like beep or whatever, but like... It feels like it's nuclear age, you know, atomic. The world of atomics is here! New technology will revolutionize your life! Something that you would see like on Fallout with the fake like 50s inspired future and stuff. So yeah, I'm sticking by it. It is a fucking boomer appliance. Sips has turned me over to this side

now i'm on his side of the argument first of all you can't just say this was invented a long time ago therefore it's boomer stuff well then any telephone is because alexander graham bell was even older than a boomer device landline is a fucking boomer device i'm not talking about a landline you ever heard of what's talking about landline but do you not think that the telephone is a very old invention yeah films are all films boomer stuff all films all cartoons yeah the ones on the music ones on those reels that can catch fire are boomers clothes are such boomer shit fucking clothes they were wearing them in caveman toys ridiculous fucking boomers yes what about all these new space age um threads and stuff that won't chafe your nipples when you're running and stuff like that's not boomer technology that's like clearly zoomer

technology imagine no zoomers are walking around with chafed nipples ridiculous here's the boomer tech right do you want to be a tech dog saliva nipple chafing cream that's right get lassie to lick your nipples and you'll never chafe again. Go on your jog through the park like a boomer. To the listeners out there, I guarantee you 99% of people have a microwave. Apparently you don't have one.

I don't. Apparently you don't have one. What did you send away for? That stupid crisper fryer thing. Yeah. Air fryer. That's some boomer shit right there, my friend.

It's not. Were they using that in the 60s, Flex? No, they weren't. All right. 2005 no they were all right 2005 apparently was the right right does that qualify as a boomer appliance no of course it fucking doesn't the nature of it is a boomer appliance let's let's put some other appliances down and see whether they're boomer devices yes let's start with the toaster okay the the the popcorn maker that melts the butter at the top of it that's a boomer appliance you know the fucking popcorn popper anything that you would see on an infomercial like save time when you're cooking popcorn that kind of stuff that's boomer appliances because who the fuck else has the money to afford all this extra luxurious oh when you cook it it's

extra crispy like no one only the boomers have that kind of money. That's my point. The microwave is a standard appliance that students have. Even now. It's still a fucking boomer appliance. It's not. It is. It was invented during the rise of the boomers. That's not what makes it a boomer appliance. Boomers thought that this was the greatest goddamn thing when they were young.

Oh, this is good. Can I just get some of that? I'm just getting my popcorn out of my popcorn maker while I watch this. I guarantee you all the kids out there are using microwaves when they were young. Oh this is good. Can I just get some of that? I'm just getting my popcorn out of my popcorn maker while I watch this. I guarantee you all the kids out there are using microwaves when they're at university. My kids cook with the microwave. They know how to do it. You can buy a microwave for like 20 quid.

I'm not even fucking joking. It's a key thing for students. I basically only ate out of a microwave for like two fucking years. still today do i'm a big big microwave proponent i love it right what about blenders what about like blenders a boomer is a boomer appliance as well what about a whisk like an auto whisk yeah i'd say that i'd say a whisk is as well they've been around a long time what about like one of those new fangled

whisks that has like the multiple bowls and the bowls like rotate around like the teacup right i'd say those are probably less so but they're it's just like a um it's just like an upgrade to like the old right it's like it like you know like like some of the the newer microwaves have like you know like they're digital and stuff what about like a hand whisk a hand handheld whisk where the whisk bits are detachable uh about those where where you're making like cake? I don't know. Like, I mean, I sort of basing this all on like appliances that my mom had when I was young. You know what I mean? Right, but telling people just get a job. That's some boomer shit. Claiming that you shouldn't have any debt when you leave the universe.

That's ridiculous. Why have you got all this debt? That's boomer shit. What about those TVs encased in wood? You know, like the like the the big they had like the wooden paneling like part of the tv you know what here's here's what here's what really triggered me okay there was a fucking advert on i was watching daytime tv the other day which i never fucking do but i was watching a movie on tcm right strangers on a train and i

was watching the recording of that right alfred it's a hitchcock classic there are a couple of things i want to talk about in that movie but first there was an advert about equity release in your home which is only applicable to fucking boomers because they're the only ones with enough equity sat in their massive houses they bought for two grand back of the 60s all right and they literally have this house that's worth 800 000 pounds and they can release the equity which is a nice way of saying the bank will give you a big wedge of cash remortgage chunk of your house yeah yeah but they call it equity release yeah so what you can do is in your fucking 70s and 80s when your kids are clinging on and i'm thinking gosh i hope my parents leave some stuff because we've got you know we've got debt problems that they never had instead they, they release that equity and they buy shit. So the advert is this woman saying to her

husband, and they're obviously in their 70s, maybe even slightly older than that. Oh, I just don't know about, you know, I get this feeling guilt, guilt, guilt when I think about it. And he says, yeah, but we could buy a mobile home and go tour the country. She's like, oh, go on then. And that's the advert. The advert the the mother is feeling guilt that they're going to spunk their kids inheritance up the fucking wall on this stupid mobile home right that that is worthless as soon as they bought they released some equity to buy themselves a new microwave so they exactly feel comfortable rather than keep the equity and pass it on to their their kids and their kids kids that advert that advert is representative to me

of the curse of boomerism, and that's what people should be angry about, not a fucking microwave! So, first of all, imagine if we called everything, instead of like, you know, remortgage, we called it... because mortgage means death, doesn't it? Death bond or whatever, mortgage, that's where it comes from. You'll be paying paying until you die sort of thing that's the point yeah it was originally quite a negative word but also you know debt is obviously quite a negative word like an or loan like student loan no one wants a student loan

what should we call them well should it be called like educational education yeah something like that you neighbor yeah yeah exactly we need like or like credit card debt what should we call that we should it should be it should be called like joy early joy unlocker or like happiness now early happiness receiver yeah something yeah it should be called something positive right so that you don't feel so bad about it like no maybe it doesn't even need to be immediate because Because the release, equity release, sounds like you're freeing that money from its prison. From the shackles of it being handed down to your family,

you've released it to spunk on consumerist shit that you're going to die before you get any use out of it. And when you die, you hand it down to your kids. Here, have my fucking secondhand camper van you didn't fucking want. And it's now worth a fraction of what I paid for it with money that would have otherwise gone to you so we could go to the lake district a couple of times in our stupid camper camper van that's another fucking boomer device as well right oh like i think everything is like like we it's a generational thing like like i guess that's the most definition of a thing like you wouldn't see if there was a fucking hip and happening camper van show where fucking people were going around in camper vans

you'd get some team of 20 year olds you'd be like oh i love camper vans me and jess could go around in camper vans all the time like you'd get you'd always get these i don't want to call them traitors um like quizlings maybe like i don't know like do you want me like people who are like infiltrating something they're not really like it's not really their place tourists tourists but they're yeah but they're like it's like like i don't know like experience or cultured tourists or something like that it's like they they they kind of like hijack something that like other people would be into and enjoy but they they do it in a very shallow way right like uh like any big any big sort of like cultural movement there's always been people like that i i

just going back to the beach i somewhat disagree with beaches going to the beach being like a boomer thing i think like i'm not saying that going to the beach is a boomer thing i'm just saying it's just messy and annoying like especially when you take your kids and they're covered in sand and then you got to come home there's sand i actually do agree with you like every time i've been to a beach even in like the most beautiful places in the world like i went to like new zealand and there was just like unspoiled beach or whatever yeah and it was like the height of midsummer but the sea's fucking freezing cold and you swim out and you get hit by a fucking wave you didn't realize and you were seeing. You're talking about going to the beach in this country.

Or in this country, yeah. You swim out in this country into the sea and there will, I totally, even when I was in New Zealand, there was like a fucking dead crab just floating in front of my face. And I'm like, oh God, and I come out and I've got fucking seaweed all over myself.

I don't mind the beach. It depends on the beach. I mean, I grew up in Bournemouth and the beach there is lovely and i used to go all the time when i was a kid and it was great it was like a big playground and my mom could just sit down and read a book keep an eye on us and we just loved it i mean my when i go to the beach for my kids they could be there for like 18 hours and they're they're having fun from minute one till the end of that 18 hour period they They fucking love it. I don't think I ever enjoyed it. I always thought it was like a bit boring. I mean, I don't mind.

I was bored. I mean, I get bored of the beach, but I don't mind it. Like I can do it for a few hours. Even like bringing a book, right? Like even bringing a book. I'm like always like paranoid about myself getting burned. I'm like always slathered up in sticky fucking sun cream.

I'm like uncomfortably naked and always switching between too hot and too cold yeah i'm flipping over back and forth i can never get a comfortable position yeah the toilets are always miles away it's always too bright to read the fucking book i just think you're doing i just think doing a gangbang on a on a picnic blanket on the beach sucks as well. You get sand everywhere. Yeah. Sand everywhere. I've tried it like tons of times. I mean. Tried loads of gang games. I really tried.

It's never worked out. Every day I go there, I'm trying to enjoy it. And it's too much. It's just not the same. Yeah. So for fuck's sake. No,

I just think they're kind of messy. The beach. This feels like an episode of Room 101. We've had microwaves at the beach. What's next? What do you guys want to throw in there? What what what what what are you what's your what's your uh your your hate for the i've had two so you guys have to come up with one now what what do you hate that we can we can discuss and play devil's advocate and i fucking hate each other boomers and stuff i

fucking hate the twitch tv poggers-y weird crap. Because I feel like a boomer and I don't understand it. Twitch put out this thing yesterday. Let me see if I can find it. And it was like little highlights of Yogs over Christmas, right? Did you see it? I did. Yeah, I saw that.

It wasn't on it. I don't blame them. Spiff replied to it. And he basically said, someone said, literally understood nothing from that. And he replied, it's okay. Just laugh and say poggers like everyone else when you get called a boomer oh right yeah that's true yeah well you don't understand poggers well no well i do but i mean it's like um i feel like i don't understand 90 of the twitch memes because twitch tv feels like a lot like youtube a lot of the people on it are watching someone who I consider to be unwatchably awful.

Do you know what I mean? And they're watching a train wreck. You know, these people are, there's one of them, he's even called Train Wrecks. I mean, that's actually his fucking name. He's crazy. I mean, he couldn't have had a more appropriate name, you know, if he tried, really. But, I mean, I guess they're waiting to see whether these people eventually just melt down and just go well that's the weird thing about twitch to me is that the different communities that you get there is that like there's the community of people like like us who

just play games and have a laugh and chat and we're pretty casual then you've got the ultra try hard streamers then you've got like the pro players in whatever game it is dipping their toes into streaming and they get a buckload of views because they're really really good and they're playing like ultra high level games and then you seem to have these people that mainly seem to do chatting yeah and they're just sitting and chatting to someone about other streamers it's super circle jerky and they'll be like they'll talk about this other guy and then they'll have i saw this kind of podcasting they did nine people in the conversation nine what the fuck that's not a conversation and i couldn't get worded edgeways when you were you were going on right imagine it with nine so but they're just there to maybe

they're nine not so passionate people though i mean you're you're i'm a passionate guy i get i get very passionate about it i i made well i'm you know i'm happy to be wrong so maybe they have nine people that are incapable of being passionate and that's how it works that's but that's easy is yeah you just get nine dispassionate people yeah i'm saying maybe i don't know you know i just i just feel like that whole talking thing just chatting or whatever or you know rl streams is just super easy lazy content where they just walk around they don't even say anything like i've watched it and there's nothing interesting there's no conversation happening that i think this is interesting people defend it by saying

it's all about the community that they have in twitch chat and the the way they all come together to create something and you have to be part of it to understand it you maybe there's something in there i'm not i don't understand but maybe there's something i don't get like it's just not for us i guess is the main thing but i guess if you really like these personalities and you like like i think that the main reason people are watching is because they want drama someone to say something that they shouldn't say i mean live stream fails the subreddit live stream fails is like full of clips where people say, look what so-and-so said about blah, blah. And it's got like a thousand comments. And they'll

have this big argument. Like it's almost like reality TV for people that don't watch television. So it's a bit like you chuck all these, you know, personalities into this sort of social circle where they all stream with each other and chat about each other and do all this stuff. And you hope there's drama. That's pretty much what it is. People are craving drama, like someone saying something cheap, something clippable. So that seems to me like a big chunk of Twitch. And I think a lot of the emote usage that you don't or we don't understand comes from those communities, because they're so powerful. They're so big. It's such a big voice on Twitch. I mean, it's just it it is it just, it just is what it is, I guess, like some people just want to watch that kind of

stuff. And that's fair enough. You know, yeah, that's what you want to do. Sure. If you're if you're happy doing it doesn't affect me. I mean, I don't watch it. It's just a thing. Go for it. I just think it's interesting to talk about it. I just think it's I mean, you know, I think it's alright to talk about it. I'm not I's, I mean, you know, I think it's all right to talk about it. I'm not, I'm not saying it shouldn't exist. If people are watching it and it's not illegal, go for it.

Like, where's the harm? Well, it's like, kind of like YouTube. You know, YouTube now is like, like the focus on gaming has gone down a lot on YouTube. And there's a lot more focus on personalities. Well, I think there was always a focus on personalities, but there's definitely more of a focus on seeing a personality in real life doing stuff or in talking to the camera and stuff like that.

And I guess this is just Twitch's way of branching into some of that as well, because there's obviously an appetite for it. You know, like people are watching that stuff on youtube like crazy so why not watch it on twitch as well you know what i mean if you if those are the people that you want to watch doing that kind of stuff i just hope that twitch doesn't like uh go too far that way you know what i mean like i hope yeah i don't want to become just a like a lifestyle live streaming thing yeah i i think it needs to be we need a gaming streaming platform like twitch and i certainly wouldn't think that they are ignoring that side of things or diminishing it

like no you go onto the twitch front page it's still mostly games of course yeah and i hope it always stays that way but there's always the risk of it you know going too far one way i think youtube's gone too far that way oh yeah i think they could have found a better balance do you remember was it youtube did their video with Will Smith introducing the sort of highlights of the year? It was really wanky. Yeah. And all the people that he was listing, they were all basically just, from what I could tell, lifestyle streamers and vloggers. And I find that stuff incredibly boring. I don't know who's watching it. I very much doubt the same audience that listens to this stupid podcast of ours is also watching that kind of stuff. I think it's just a different audience

completely. And I think it's also a very young audience. I mean, my kids love to watch a very small selection of YouTubers who are all, they're all under 20, like they're young. And I think for them, it's a bit like, and the best way I could think of it was when we have our baby sit around she's like i think she's like 18 and so my kids that's like amazing because she's like a grown-up but she's also like a kid so to them this is the best of both worlds because she's cool because she's older but she's still young and and you know she's only a few years older than them really so to them it's like this is like this amazing crossover point between me

and mrs f who must seem fucking ancient to them and other kids so they see this young adult and they're like this is awesome and they're talking to me and that's fantastic so you they don't normally get to chat to teenagers so to them listening to 16 17 18 year olds talking on the internet is like oh this is amazing because this is like talking to the big kids at secondary school to them it's mind-blowing that's how i i think it must be like that to them maybe yeah yeah it's like oh this is amazing because this is like talking to the big kids at secondary school right to them it's mind-blowing that's how i i think it must be like that to them maybe yeah yeah it's a weird one isn't it like the there's no rhyme or reason to what kids will watch though like i've learned i've learned through having two kids and how many times they'll watch the same fucking yeah yeah it's just it's it's bizarre isn't it? It's impossible to, I mean, some people, I guess, just instinctively or have this knack for knowing

like what is going to do well with kids or whatever. I'm hopeless. Or it's all focus group to hell. Like, do you remember that Simpsons episode with the radioactive, was it Radioactive Man? No, no, it was the Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie where they were trying to focus group the kids to see which new characters they liked

and what they liked about Itchy and Scratchy right I they must do that kind of stuff for these shows get a shitload of characters drawn up and some voices and say all right kids which of these do you like and they go we like that one hey they're like cool make a show with that I want a thousand episodes and a shitload of merchandise go man like you know those lol dolls have you heard of those yeah yeah yeah yeah my daughter has a couple of them yeah right like they're kind of last year or even 2018 was their boom time and they started off as just a plastic ball yeah not boomer time boom time they started off as like a plastic ball and you open it up and there's a tiny shitty plastic toy in there yeah and all these other tiny shitty things. And most of the packaging of this ball,

it's covered in this thick, horrific plastic that you just know is going to be around for 50,000 years. Throw that away. Then you've got this circular case. Most of that gets thrown away. And then you've got this tiny doll, which is also plastic. It's like literally just a lump of plastic.

It's like 15 quid and it's a complete waste. We never had that shit growing up. Like cards, packs of cards were the only thing that you got where it was like you might get doubles or right you you don't know what's inside right yes but there's no toys like that like they're like i don't remember ever buying something like that where it was like i don't know what i'm gonna get or there's like a you know like even like army ants and like like little toys always came like in a pack with see-through plastic that you can see

which ones you're getting. It was never like these like little sort of like throwaway toys. Like my kids have tons of like little tiny toys that have come from these little capsules and stuff. And they don't know which ones they're going to get. And they're always hoping for like the golden one or the rare one or whatever yeah and then within seconds of opening these things they're just like done it's like okay that one's just gonna end up in the garbage next week or whatever i mean like my kids bought some harry potter plushies and you don't know what

you've got it might be harry might be hermione might be neville you know might be ron and you like you said they don't know. And they like that. And we've definitely spoken about this before. The fact that it's basically a real life loot box. Yeah. And you don't know what it is. Yeah, it's crazy. Now, I was thinking, where did this come from? And when did that start being a thing?

And if you think about it, when the only toy that I can remember, like you said, when we were kids, trading cards. But I was also thinking the toys you used to get in boxes of cereal and the toys that you used to get with a Happy Meal. Yeah. Well, were the only things you didn't know what you were going to get. That's right.

But Happy Meals, you kind of knew what you were going to get because it was a weekly thing with Happy Meals. Right. But there'd be a selection. Yeah. And you'd be like, I've already got so and so. I really hope I get blah, blah. But I think that Happy Meals, the way they did it back then, it was like an incentive to get you back every week right right because it's like okay i got mario this

week but next week's gonna be luigi i have to get luigi so we're gonna have to come back to mcdonald's next week so we get luigi and stuff it was always like on a weekly thing i remember and kinder eggs kinder eggs you didn't know what you were gonna get yeah at all kinder eggs sometimes even when you saw it you didn't know what the fuck it was. Kinder eggs are very European. I don't think I ever had them in North America. I don't think, maybe they were around and I just never got them or whatever, but I don't remember them being around. I think the issue was that the Americans wouldn't let them put a toy inside in case kids just bit into the egg and swallowed the toy. That could be a load of bollocks. But I'm fairly sure that was one of the reasons that the Kinder Egg wasn't sold.

Whereas here in Europe, if kids choke on toys, we just shrug like the French. Choked on the toy. Even shit it out, I'm sure. So, you know, got a fillip full of plastic. Good old America looking after the kids. Stupid Americans. They're careful of their children. Your kids are into like spider-man right

everyone i mean spider-man's biggest a little bit a little bit right mike yeah my my my son like i don't think he's crazy about spider-man you know he knows who he is and stuff he is the biggest the most successful superhero in terms of money right right and that's how we measure things as a solo superhero as a solo superhero you you're saying. Yeah, ever, you know. And he has, like, generationally evolved massively. What about Batman, though? I'd say Batman is pretty up there as well. No, but I read this thing on Reddit, and it basically said how Spider-Man is just genuinely

the most profitable superhero of all time, just by millions. And it's partly because of the merch, because of the amount of kids, and how kid-friendly he is. he is definitely skewing is your friendly name i mean i remember people wearing spider-man halloween costumes when i was like seven like and that's a long ass no exactly yeah and and every generation his reboots have kind of mirrored the societies right so like boomer spidey he distrusted authority while it was cool he had financial

problems as a kid but ended up marrying a supermodel living in an expensive apartment in a good part of new york city could turn down lucrative lab jobs to pursue higher degrees at his own expense while conveniently ignoring all the anti-mutant protesters being virulent racists right that was like boomer spike okay right and then you've got gen x spider man okay who obviously had moved back in with our major finances when he's in college he had some rips in his pants yeah he had a plaid plaid spidey shirt oh may was like spider man you're gonna go solve some crime today i don't care yeah exactly had had a comfortable domestic life with his pregnant wife without too many mundane problems,

despite the occasional mental breakdown and midlife crisis that causes Peter to make new problems for himself. Peter got hooked on heroin. He eventually makes a deal with Satan so that he can return to a more comfortable past. That was in the comics. And then you've got Millennial Spidey, which I guess is like Tobey Maguire, right?

Yeah. Who basically finds out that print journalism thing, who is his career path, is dead in the water. He has to find roommates to make Ren, you know, and then eventually it shifted to, you know, trying to join the Avengers, but they're illegal

and don't exist. He has to fight and scrape to get a job that keeps him afloat. Meanwhile, all the other heroes are older than him. He doesn't get a sense of humor. And the only superhero who seems to remotely understand him is the mentally unstable lunatic who nobody trusts. Who's that? I don't know who that is.

It'd be interesting to find out which iteration of Spider-Man was the first to acquire a microwave. Just go back a ways. Meanwhile, Doc Ock shows up at random times to tell him that he's weak or has no drive or follow through like the rest of today's year uh so that's millennia and then there's obviously the latest gen z spidey from uh the animations and stuff who's awkward weird just wants to help people maybe get to know this one girl that he likes he's too young and middle

clashes to be worried about money problems but every adult figure seems to have plans and agendas for him that they have no intention of asking his opinion on and wanting to be responsible for things he absolutely has no business being responsible for he's aware that all this shit being dumped on his shoulders is essentially a massive ticking time bomb and he's roughly 0.2 seconds from cracking under the pressure if he thinks too much about it but he tries his best to just enjoy time with his friends and family. There you go. And he's going to meme with the best of them until the very last millisecond

that the shit hits the fan. And then he's going to ironically meme about how much it sucks. Right. So that's like the latest iteration of Spider-Man. I wonder if that was written by a zoomer since it's slagging off every fucking generation before their own.

This is the generation with the biggest chip on its shoulder since the boomers, which is ironic, fucking love themselves love themselves oh he's such a great guy spider-man all the other spider-mans were terrible people had it easy fuck off yeah it does feel like it like these things have to move with the popular sentiment of the youth and definitely the youth i mean okay i say youth right um i've seen this happen a couple of times right where there's this group of like chavvy girls okay on the high street in like track suits with their hair pulled back you know like whatever it is they're really tight pulled back

hair or like all on the top of their head and they they're like kind of like kind of like almost like they should be wearing a school uniform but they're not they're not they're not for some reason in sick form they don't have to or whatever do you mean they're off for like school and they go up to someone okay like get in their face usually like a girl like a like a 20 year old girl or something like someone who's a little bit older than them but like just looks like normal um not because they wouldn't do this to some like old person because they might have a heart attack. But they go up to them and they get suddenly, they're in their face and they clap really loudly

in front of their face. Get clapped. And just see the reaction. And then just sort of walk to the side. And it's like a shock, you know? It's kind of a weird... I've seen it happen. Did someone do this to you, Lulu?

No, not to me. I would Michael Douglas falling down that ass straight away. it's kind of a weird and it's i've seen it happen did someone do this to you no not to me but i would michael douglas falling down that ass straight away i would be i would go fucking nuclear i hate that shit well exactly that's why they wouldn't do it to you but they they picked like sort of fragile looking girls who are like kind of i don't know in the street it didn't happen to me but i've seen it happen you're not a fragile enough girl for it to happen to you no because i don't i don't they wouldn't pick they wouldn't pick me clearly i'm you know i'm the wrong the right you had your motorcycle jacket on at the time you know i'm a loose cannon

they you know i just punch them straight in the face yeah knock them knock them down don't mess with him he looks tough yeah but that is there are people like that who still do that in 2020 it was happy slapping was a thing and it's just human nature isn't it like it's um you know like people that do that it's no nobody nobody does that on their own right they've got a group of friends that they're like trying to impress or like it's it's a way of sort of like asserting some authority back like over their group by like making themselves seem like stronger or somehow more aggressive or more sort of like i don't know like uh like careless or something like that it's it's a weird weird mob mentality thing isn't it like people want to impress other people when

you're in a group and they want the stupider thing they can do the better like that but yeah sips is right it's just it's just a group thing i'm sure it's happened forever i've just been mulling it over in my head like i guess it's i guess it's just a thing like it's just a sort of a flexing thing the other thing that i saw happen this morning on twitter was um this woman who basically like got off a plane in miami right and just started stripping in like as she walked through the airport and like stripped off like absolutely completely naked right as she walked through this airport don't start googling it there's a little bit of video but don't perfect too bad anyway and she she walks out of the airport and apparently she like climbed up on a cop car and eventually got detained because she was just being crazy.

But we have these people, it's just going to happen, isn't it? What's the context for this though? Was she having a breakdown or she was on drugs or something? Maybe she thought it was a dream or something. I'm trying to find reasonable context for why people have these moments. Sometimes, I don't know, sometimes I feel like I'm only a fraction of a trigger away from... Doing something truly nuts. You think you're close to snapping. I'm close to walking naked through the streets of Bristol slapping people.

You're going to remove your turtleneck in the airport as you're walking off of a plane. I guess I fear... Careful, he he's crazy this guy's nuts but i fear that i fear that but but that like similar things could happen to people i know or care about not similar things but it reminds me i guess of the fragility of of the mental state of like a human right yeah you know like you have to you have to look after your brain you have to look after yourself you have to you know you can't your stress is this thing which we look down on and i got a question for you about brains go on right because i asked i asked my daughter the other day i said where do you think you are like your consciousness she was she was like pointing to the top of her head but i was like don't you feel like you exist behind your eyes like don't you

feel like that's where you're centered? Like when you point to yourself people point either to their heart or they point to their sort of their head. You know you think about yourself as existing just behind your eyes and all the rest of this stuff, your body and your brain and all the rest of it is like an extension of whatever your concept of yourself is. Like when you said we've got to look after our brains our brains is basically us like that's you you could lose all the other bits and get them replaced pretty much but that is the one thing that really represents who you are so when you say you've got to look after your brain yeah that is you like that is the entirety of you as a person as a

personality as your experiences everything exists in that one thing yeah so i think it's way more than just like an organ so you got to look after your brain that's basically yourself that's it so everything else must be an extension of that there is this thing about self um and i'm not going to explain it very well because i'm doing it off the cuff and i think did you read it on reddit people like this no of course i did probably but i mean we are trapped we feel like we're trapped in this fleshy prison okay if you like but that is only obviously where our localized center is sure like but but we part of our body is this thing which has got loads of bacteria in it so loads of organisms in it living on it maybe yours has your stinky bursted what do you just

said well you constantly you have like eyelash mites right now crawling over your eyelashes. Oh, they're chill. They don't bother me. I don't bother them. No, they're great. They're like super cleaners, right? So they don't even poop. They're like 100% efficient. Oh, wait, you mean like all the stuff that lives in our gut and stuff? Yeah. Because I read that there are more organisms living in us than we have cells in our body. Yeah. We're mostly just a big yeah mostly just bacteria which is fun

before i forget can i just interject on the subject of poop um i told my wife about the human centipede oh no yeah i just thought like you know she needs to know what did she make of it she was not impressed uh no she was like i told her this morning actually uh i was like have you ever heard of this the human centipede? She's like, no. I was like, okay, well, let me explain it to you. I explained it to her based on what you guys told me last week. She was just like, well, thanks.

I really didn't need that today. I did not need that. I explained about the pooping into the mouth and the first guy has to eat because he's hungry, but then he'll poop and then she was like so the second guy just died straight away i was like well yeah i guess so because like you would know choke on your own vomit straight away right like there's no way you're taking poop down apparently they did you can't just take they didn't they did he didn't he didn't die they died because they got horrible infections right rotted right to death basically

that was that was it well that's kind of worse isn't it i'm just saying let's just leave his wife with the idea that they died no she was there very sort of like oh well at least they died quick like she just thought like the first poop was that i could think of better ways to go yeah yeah so um fucking hell thanks for sorry anyway yeah anyway i thought i mentioned that quick i i just i just well basically like if you think about it, those bacterias and organisms and stuff, it's all part of you anyway. So you consider those part of you.

I love them. Yeah, exactly. You're attached to them. I love them for now, but on the day that they tray me, I won't love them so much. You know what I mean? They think they're going to rise up? So those bacteria to each other are like brothers. They're all part the same they're all part of you in fact they're not really even brothers they're all you they're all the same right imagine scale that up i have this conversation again sorry to interject go on i've been playing luigi's mansion 3 a lot recently with my son

and you get to a point in the game where you can play co-op and the co-op in that game is you as luigi have a backpack full of goo and the goo can come out of the backpack and form gooigi who is like a green jelly version of you but he can slip through bars and help you solve puzzles and stuff so my son plays as gooigi but he doesn't get that we're both the same person effectively so he thinks that like if he collects the gems they're just for him and he's always confused as to why when the little cutscene plays it's me picking up the gem or the key or whatever and every time i'm like i have to explain to him we're the same person like we're on the same team you don't exist without me so that's why it always shows me picking up the key and stuff even though i let him like go pick up the key because he's always like oh let me pick up this key like you know i worked really

hard for it or whatever i just i just thought it was interesting anyway carry on that's interesting the young mind would be able to get that concept more easily that you're the same yeah i think it's an ego like uh that that prevents the mind from um from accepting some of this could be that i would say your son has a big ego already no i don't think he's got a big ego but i don't think i i think i think i think ego is like a a thing kids it's overriding that it's like that warps the logic of your brain sometimes or or shrouds the logic of your brain sometimes yeah especially anyway the the earth okay imagine the earth think about it for a second it's imagine it's like a body with loads of bacteria that are part of it

yeah that's us that's us we're all part of of one big animal of one big thing and even the get the universe you know it's it's like full of shit that's all part of one body. We're all the same. We're all brothers, is what I'm trying to say. And so even if someone comes up to you in the street and slaps you in the face, even if someone is crazy, they need our help. They need, you know, is naked running through Miami airport.

They need like... Someone help them, please. We need to be there for them. We need to not judge them. Not be despairing. Like, you know, be supportive. Isn't this like the Gaia hypothesis? Yeah.

I read that one on Reddit earlier and just thought it was a joke. Anyway, it's more likely a philosophical kind of sacred. I don't know. I'll try and explain it better next time. No, it's fine. I get it. I just thought I'd give it a go. I thought I'd give it a go and I failed.

It wasn't that complex really like you know just basically you're saying that like we're all the same people everybody we're all people and and some of us just need more help than others you know like the stripping miami uh airport woman who was probably on drugs offer face offer tits on drugs look after your friends yeah just because someone's a boob it doesn't mean, you know, you shouldn't be nice to them. You know, they probably weren't responsible for like fucking the planet or whatever. Or they were.

Maybe they were. What do you guys think about solar panels? Do you think that's boomer technology? Again, I'm not having this discussion. I was thinking of getting some solar panels on my roof. I think that the problem is that the the energy and material cost of making them at the moment means that the energy you would subsequently save by using solar power would take a very long time to pay it back no but don't you think it's kind of cool that you could just generate like even even a little bit of your own energy and you could just like put in a

battery and just be like yeah i you know i didn't i didn't make this but you're doing it because you think it would be like fun or are you doing it because you want to be environmentally mostly because i think it would be fun like it's just another step towards having a wallace and gromit house kind of thing but it just looks like regular old electricity yeah i know it i know it really does but like because we're probably gonna i'm gonna get my loft uh done at some point. And while they're up there, you know,

doing work on the roof and restructuring the roof and stuff like that. I thought might as well just slap some panels up there, you know, just get some fucking, just get some fucking panels up there. And then just, you know, I don't know if it's a wind turbine. They're very expensive.

I don't want a wind turbine. I love, they're coming a long way. They're coming a long way. They got to make some noise though. Right. There's going to, there's going to be a little bit of squeaking. There has to be noise. I love wind turbines. They're coming a long way. They're coming a long way. They've got to make some noise, though, right? There's going to be a little bit of squeaking. Yeah, there has to be noise. I mean, I've been to the Netherlands and I saw windmills.

And they definitely, they're not quiet. You know, they make a sort of rattling, whooshing noise. And then if some of the components get loose or whatever, there might be some clanking. There could well be clanking. There could be some high-pitched squeaking and stuff. If a little ball bearing or a stone gets stuck in between the it'll be like yeah but i don't think panels will make any noise whatsoever no it should be like the hamster wheel and the kids like exercise bike and stuff and set up to the power as well just get your whole house so i so i'm thinking

i get some solar panels right and then i'll get a battery. Like I'll house a battery somewhere in the house. And then if I get an electric car, I can like charge up with some solar power. That would be pretty right on. That would be fucking pretty cool, wouldn't it? Like I just think I like that. That would be pretty cool. You know, yeah. Okay, cool.

It's environmentally friendly. But that's not my motivator. I'll be honest. Like I just think it's fucking cool to charge up your own car with uh with your own panels i just think that's your own sunlight yeah i think that's fucking pretty cool this is my fucking sunlight coming down on my property maybe this is a new marketing strategy for environmentally friendly products instead of saying you can save the planet which sips doesn't apparently doesn't give a shit about he just wants because it's cool yeah it would be fun no that's let's i

mean i think that's an easier sell honestly i think that's actually a much easier making people feel bad all the time yeah i think it's like let's make people feel good all the time do you want to do something that's really fucking cool yes i do get some fucking solar panels watch this and you get a watch that that shows you what your charge is and gives you like on my Fitbit Now you're fucking talking flex. A fucking watch that shows the charge of the battery? For real. For real.

Holy shit. So my watch congratulates me when I've done 250 steps which is like going downstairs to make a cup of tea and it goes like beep beep and I look at it and there's a picture of a little man jumping up and down celebrating. It's like half a wank. Yeah. I'm like this is great. Like my watch is at it and there's a picture of a little man jumping up and down celebrating. It's like half a wank. Yeah. I'm like, this is great. Like my watch is saying to me, congratulations, buddy.

You moved a very small way through. You fucking did it. And I'm like, yes. So if you had a watch that said to you, your solar panels have just generated enough electricity to power a television for an hour. You'd be like, fuck yeah. And like a little bar goes up. How many souls can you collect today?

Yeah. Perfect. Mark it that way. So, yeah. So I was just wondering. I just wanted to get like a consensus from you guys. Like I value your opinions to some extent. So I just thought, you know, I'll ask.

I'll put it out there. It's approved. You get the stamp for approval. I'll put it out there. You know, they're going to be doing the work up there anyway. They might just fucking put some panels up there, right? I think if you're interested in it, go for it it go yeah i think it'd be kind of cool i mean apparently if you get enough panels and you can generate enough energy you can actually sell it back to the grid so i

might have a little money maker on my hands here too if you know what i mean just like set up my own my own gas station uh in my house come charge up here here. Charge your car. Charge your car. It has to be a sunny day. Five pounds for every 10 minutes of charge or something like that. It's only a matter of time before that's what people are doing. People will be...

People will live in sunny places. People will be like selling their driveway to like the cloud parking grid. Yeah. Hell fucking yes. Now you're talking. And then you just do it online. You make a little GPS mark of where it is and cars will just do it online you make a little gps mark of

where it is and cars will just come in and park because let's face it if you're going to the normal gas that's a that's a that's a boomer establishment isn't it the gas station i mean come on they haven't fucking changed at all right they still have those goddamn buckets with the squeegees in them and stuff and like they always stay i think i mean this is what the future looks like according to people like elon musk it's like basically you wouldn't you buy a tesla right but it would be you would basically buying into a fleet you wouldn't have your own tesla you just be have you'd have a tesla there would always be a tesla parked up that's always clean always fueled at your house every day right it might not be the same one right um but every time you know

you need it it will be there um and you it's like it's like autumn or you know and it will drive you to work automatically you just get into the back like a taxi yeah didn't we talk about this in a previous one where i said that the future is that there won't be parked cars ever yeah because you won't own a car like you said you'll own a share in a car like you'll have access to a car for paying a monthly fee i mean people already make the decision do i want to own a car or do i just want to uber everywhere and that's the first step to i don't need to own this vehicle and have it parked and maintained and all the rest of it i'll pay a hundred pound a month to be able to use a car for say 10 000 miles a month god movies

are going to be so shit in the future based on that right you're not going to be able to get that guy that just drives off into the sunset he's just going to uber off into the sunset you know the film ends and he's like it's like five minutes away i don't know i just like i think that like while that's that's cool and it makes sense and stuff i don't know there's just something about the solitude like like on the weekend okay most weekends i have to take a trip up to the dump to take like, because we recycle stuff. So like, you know, I take my cardboard and we have bottles and shit that needs to go up or whatever. And it's a solo endeavor. You know what I mean?

I go up there. But it would be a solo endeavor. I got the radio on. I'm by myself. You know, like there's nobody else in the car picking my nose and farting stuff i don't care but it's not a bus you you get in the car it's just you in the car all right it's not like so we're not talking about like just ubers and getting rid of cars okay no no we're talking about the electric car that you don't even have to drive so you could get in

and you could pick your nose the entire way nice whilst reading a porn mag or do whatever you want to be naked man my wife caught me picking my nose the other day it was pretty embarrassing oh my god did i tell you guys about this i haven't told you this have i caught you picking your nose yeah actually fully picking it yeah i was um i lay next to my uh my daughter's bed like while she goes to sleep i've always done it to my with my son as well it's just a time where i like just like to like you know fart around on my ipad or whatever so i lay on the ground like next to their bed and then they just like fall asleep so i'm sitting there and i'm like watching some stream or something and my nose was super itchy so i might jam my finger like right up there it was like really really having like a good scratch and a good pick but i had my headphones on and i was like unaware of my surroundings and i look up

my wife is in the doorway she'd like come to check check in and she's like waving her finger like two joints deep into your nose she still brings me tea like like she has done just now so it can't be that i really like the idea, I think the future is like small little businesses that are paid fuck all probably online, right? So you get a like beep on your phone and it'd be like, there's a car driving into your driveway. You have to like plug it in

and like polish, clean it up and like, you know, like make sure it's not got any shit on the inside and just tick a box, right? And it's like good to go. And so that's what, and you'd get paid, like not very much for that.

So what your idea is that everybody has a work at home business that involves cleaning a car. Well, but these days, like I saw a thing, I saw a thing, which was like, I need, I need to earn money. Right. And people put down this, there was this thing and it was like, they're like pages and pages long. It was like, here's how to make some money. You know, you can make this much by filling in surveys.

It's not very much. It's like, you know, a quitter survey. This stuff has existed forever. Like those people, you know, what is it though?

The people that you, you like lick stamps all day or whatever. What's the other one? Like you can do data inputting from home and stuff. Like there's like hundreds and hundreds of sites that you if you're looking for like if you just want to earn money from home do stuff because maybe like you're pregnant or you're like i don't know like injured or something and you want to still earn some money you can do all sorts of crazy stuff and i think that is like only gonna get more right it's only gonna get

more more more work is gonna be i think people just streaming stuff now though right that's the new i'm at home, I might as well do something, and then they just either do YouTube videos. That's the entertainment side of things. But, you know, not everyone can make it as a streamer or even make money. I think a lot

of people might put hours and hours into streaming and make pennies, whereas they might put hours and hours into delivering food and make actual enough to live on. I think you have to have well you have to be smart around it and i'm sure a lot of these things are very exploitive like uber drivers don't get paid enough and all the other problems but you know at the end of the day that's that's that i think that's a really interesting future right anyway we should probably stop we should probably stop i've said too much all of my business plans i like the idea of the sips garage you could like you could like be like do you want a candy bar in

your tesla this morning and you could like put a like fucking some candy bars in there yeah get your kids cleaning it up the best thing the thing i like the best about my garage though is that it's just me nobody else is out here or ever really bothers to come out here you know what i mean like yeah i don't have to worry about uninvited guests or anything. You know, it's my little paradise out here. Serenity now. That's it. Press the button.

There. Nice. Just in time. All right. Bye. Thanks, everyone. Bye. See you next week.

Bye.