Triforce! - Triforce! #12: Keep Your Coins In Your Groins

Episode Date: June 15, 2016

Pyrion's back in this episode of Triforce! Today's load of waffle includes hot strip clubs, burning bath robes and more, uhm, spicy anecdotes.   Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello and welcome to the Triforce podcast. I'm on my own this week, I assume. I don't know where Sips and Lewis are. I'm just recording at home and, I don't know, hanging out. Yeah, we did one without you a while back, so it's your turn to do one by yourself. So the Triforce is actually meant to be three people, not just two people leaving me out well no we're paying you back you're doing this one on your own this week we're just gonna sit here and listen and make sure that you're doing it right sort of thing okay it's like a job interview sort of i don't need no job interview yeah you can you can keep your job

buddy i don't need that extra pressure i got two kids i had a wife I had a job and a family. I don't need no pesky job interview. Damn right. Pressure from you, you son of a bitch. Do you ever wonder that, like, I worry about one day all this, you know, internet stuff not working out anymore and I'll have to go and get a real job and I'll have to go in and they'll say, to go in and they'll say all right mr forsyth we've had a look at your uh your cv here and there appears to be a 10-year gap in employment what were you doing in this time just playing games on the internet yeah playing games you know i i think about this from time to time and if the past four years of playing games um on the internet for a living have made me not give a fuck at all about like the future like if if it all dries up and i have to go back give a fuck at all about the future. Like if it all dries up

and I have to go back to a job or whatever, fuck it, I don't give a shit. Like I'll work it. What are you gonna do? I don't care. Like, honestly, like I could care less. I will not emotionally invest into any job that I take. So I will turn up.

I'll be like the guy from office space. I'll just like gut a fish on my desk or just do whatever. Because man, i've worked with people like that like all the places i used to work at i was like oh shit you know it's important it's a career i gotta like do well i have to like progress and stuff and like none of that shit matters yeah at like those jobs like it's it's who you know it's who you went to school with or like if you fucking fit in with like these weird awkward fucking middle-aged people such as myself right um you know what i mean yeah and that's how that's how you get ahead and like that's how you get your opportunities

and stuff doesn't matter how hard you work or how much you care or don't care or whatever so if i ever have to go back to work my motto is fuck the world i'm gonna like tony montana style i'm just gonna turn up and i'm just gonna either kill everybody or just do whatever i feel like doing like i'll just snort cocaine off my desk and stuff i don't give a fuck so that's your answer to the where do you see yourself in five years question in the job interviewers yeah yeah i think the older you get the less of a fuck you give as well so it's like whatever yeah that's where i'm head uh there's always this paranoia in the back of your mind that you're gonna like be that everything's suddenly this this this this joyful

job that we have is suddenly going to come to an end right and i think that's the same for everyone in every job right they that they that they like doing they're always paranoid about losing what they love it's just a natural human thing right but the reality is is that yeah i'm never going to go back into chemistry you know i haven't done it for like 10 years or whatever it's it's it's it's not going to be a thing i've mastered that already i'm what have i been doing for the past five years well editing videos like doing community stuff you know like i've done a lot true i think that there's there's jobs out there for the stuff that you and me have been doing. It doesn't matter.

You don't have to go back and try and find a job in a bank again, Sips or whatever. There's different jobs now based on what you've been doing for the past five years. It's not like you've been out of work. It's not like you've been not doing anything that wasn't successful. It feels like I have been out of work, though. It is a totally different mindset just like sitting in in your dad pad playing video games all day yeah rather than you know fucking talking about tps reports with jenny from accounts listen i imagine us like out at the worst being like a crappy character

in star wars like the guy who was salacious cr right? He makes a living going to like three or four conferences a year, selling pictures of himself and meeting fans. There's enough Sips fans out there, right? And P-Flax fans probably too. Doubtful. You know, you could make a little bit of just, you know. I'd love to believe that. I really would.

I wouldn't want to be that guy that's clinging on to something that was so tenuous in the first place. Like Boise, you know? Boise turns up to conventions and stuff. And it's like, come on, Boise. Like, it was funny a couple of years ago or whatever. But, you know, move on for Christ's sake. Just do something else.

Jeez. We're singing you, Boise. You got a good point. You know? Yeah. Like, you see those guys who were in Star Wars, like you said, like that. And I don't see that as like, is that great? Is it like, yeah, here's a list of the films I was in.

It's like, wow, that was like 30 years ago, those movies. What have you done since? I did some voiceover work on a local radio station advert for a curry house in Chester. I did like an R&B album. All the drugs I could afford. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I know. It's the way it goes. You don't need to worry about that too much. Holy crap. Anyway, it's been like three weeks. Okay. Yeah. Since we went.

Been longer than that, buddy. Or more. Yeah. It's been a while. So there's supposed to be so much to talk about, guys. Like, honestly, who wants to start? What have you been? What have you been doing in your lives?

Go on. Let's hear it. I'm excited to listen. Well. It's Gold it. I'm excited to listen. Well. It's Gold Tips. You start. I got a couple of new computer games. I'm playing those.

Oh, for crying out loud. Sure. What about you, PFlex? Yeah, got a few new computer games. Similarly, been playing those. Yeah, yeah. It's been that kind of day. That kind of month.

Well, first of all. It's been that kind of year, man. Games. I know that PFfax you went to malta yeah yeah i did yeah this is an exciting story fill us in that does sound like crazy fill in my crack i'll fill it getting ready to fill your crack with some hot poker story oh yes yeah yeah i'm gonna poker in your crack. Here we go. Sweet. So I did a tournament about, I guess it was about four months ago in London

for a betting website called Unibet. And they were putting together an eSports sort of poker sit-down tournament. So it's like you just sit down, it's like nine of you or eight of you. You don't have to pay any money to enter. And they stream it on the internet. And if you come first, you win £5,000.

If you come second, you win £3,000. If you come second, you win £3,000. So I came second. So I was like, fucking hell, £3,000 for playing a bit of poker, no problem. So I was very happy with that. Yeah, so I watched it. I watched the whole thing on stream because you tweeted it out

and I just happened to have it on and then I was quite interested. So I stayed and watched it in the background. And it was good fun. I honestly didn't know any... I watch quite a lot of... I know quite a lot of esports people. I didn't know any of the people around the table at all.

Right, right. And the person who came first was actually not even an esports person. She was like a pro poker player, but I think they just added her because they wanted a girl. No. Is that right?

No, no, no. She's sponsored by Unibet. So they had her there because she does stream games on the internet. So she's also a streamer. Right. And there's a guy there called Sam who's also a poker what qualifies as a streamer because i mean you're barely a streamer anyway right but these people have much audience they have to have a stream

don't hold back jeez i stream like every day dude fucking period streams more than all of us combined any scrub could stream every day what what kind of audience do you have to have if you just left right now i'm going back to malta fuck this i'm joking you're a proper streamer but the rest of them i had never heard this abuse sir you know what you did do they have bigger audiences than you i don't know some of them do some of them don't i guess but yeah i mean some of them could like could like any old random scrub applied say oh yeah i'm a stream pro streamer i I stream every day. No, no, no. You've got to be good at poker.

These guys, A, they're streaming a big game. Maybe they're streaming CSGO or Hearthstone or whatever. Some of them are very big streamers. Like, Rekful was one of them. He's a really big streamer. He makes a lot of money out of it. Oh, he's huge. But was he at the actual...

Yeah, yeah, the first one. For the Malta one, he wasn't there. But as far as I understand, that was the thing. I mean, Rekful does play, like, poker online and stuff a lot while streaming. Right. Like, he'll have Hearthstone open in a half window and then some fucking poker game open in the other. Right.

And that's, like, part of his thing, sort of thing. Like, he's mad into, like, card games and stuff. Right. So, I mean, within their respective fields, I think these guys are all pretty well known. I mean, you know, there's CSGO or Hearthstone or World of Warcraft or whatever. So, I mean, they wouldn't have got invited over there

if the Unibet guys didn't think there was some value in it. They're not going to pick someone with like 10 viewers, are they? So I think that it was like, you know, a combination of people. So I went out to Malta because they said, we're doing it again this time in Malta. Would you like come and i was like yeah sure so flew out there malta is not what i expected at all it's really kind of a weird place it's like very run down the hotel was lovely but outside the hotel it was just all you know when you go somewhere like on holiday and it's just all construction sites and none of them look safe or like any construction is going on.

It just looks like a bunch of guys standing around smashing concrete and replacing it with more concrete. Like there's no... This used to be just a big mound of dead bodies, but we've had to remove them and we left all of our tools and stuff here. Now it's just a mound. Now it's just some rubble and a couple of stains. Yeah, it was like sad like you come around a corner you think maybe it's gonna be some like historic harbor and it's just crappy concrete buildings and awful chain-link fences and it's just it was all bars and seedy bars there were there was this one corner we came to around the corner from the hotel this is on the

way to dinner and there was six strip clubs within like visual range of that corner oh and there were just tons of what hotel is that the uh well i'm trying i can't yeah and let me get a pen yeah you get a pen i'll send you the address off you know i'll stream you don't want to know it that you're going there when you check in as a mr smith or whatever mr mr smith yeah it's me where's the strip clubs at what time are they open till you literally can't miss them sir just head out of the hotel in any direction

you'll bump into one fantastic and yeah it was it was kind of sad it's just like bars and loads we went when we came back

at night time the bars were rammed with these drunken Brits and they were all like covered in blood because they'd fallen down the awkward steps and pavement

and I guess they'd been fighting and everything I was like man this place sure is kind of a 1830 resort like that was what it came across as to me maybe that's what it was and they just like fell out of favor and they just haven't touched it since sort of thing yeah i think so locked in the past um you know on the topic of strip clubs i i used to work at this place and we had clients that came in um well every day sort of thing and you know i used to have to like speak to them and find out what kind of stuff they wanted or or whatever and um we had this one guy who's like you know he's he'd come in he'd be like oh you know like he would talk about like his family from time to time and stuff and you just sort of like you know from working alongside him and you know taking his requirements and and and shit like

that you just sort of get to know these people like superficially right but you know like bits and pieces about them and you form some sort of opinion about them based on that kind of stuff so he was just like seemed like a really sort of straight family guy, you know, like didn't seem like the kind of guy that would really go out and like drink a lot or do anything other than, you know, fucking mow his lawn on the weekend and spend time with his kids and just shit like that. Right. But he came in one time and I was like, oh, you know, I've got to go to fucking, I think

it was like Birmingham or something. I had to go there for work for like two days the week after so we were just chatting and i said oh you know i gotta go to birmingham or whatever he's like oh let me give you an address to like the best strip club i've ever been to i was what really like i mean i'm kind of like i don't i wasn't and it was really fucking awkward because he was like oh yeah like every time i go like you know if i go away for work or whatever i go in there and oh man we spent so much money there but oh it's worth it so fun and everything was like well like my

my fucking world was like upside down because like i had this guy pegged as just like uh you know like i i assume that maybe just like went to church and stuff and maybe he does right and he just likes to go to a strip club anyway. But it's weird, right? Because it's a weird thing to say to somebody that you don't really know super well. I don't know how I feel about going to a strip club. Like I'll joke about it. But like it's kind of embarrassing going to a strip club, isn't it?

Especially on your own. Yeah. Well, yeah. Like totally by myself. Like I wasn't traveling with anybody for this work trip. So like just turn up and like hey ladies it's me just on my own uh just fucking i got money to burn like get in there at opening time when there's like no one else in there you guys do a buffet here i'm really hungry i like i just it was just so it's just such a fucking weird thing like i just i couldn't

really believe it and then i don't think i ever looked at the guy the same again like i just i just thought he was a bit of a fucking deviant after that like i mean that's how he keeps his his regular flow going is you know he's chill he does his lawn he does his diy yeah he's nice to his wife and kids and then when he goes away for business he's like right it's me time let's get that fucking big blowout with prostitutes or i'm gonna be so fucking angry i think strip clubs are certainly they feel like a relic of the past in a way they feel like this kind of like american film thing like cd kind of goes out to like you know you're staying in a motel kind of i don't know just it's kind of a thing where bad stuff happens in csi or whatever right right and i don't know the same at the same time right i feel like people right like this guy maybe they have to balance being all church going and

good and family like super good yeah all the time we're just letting go and going crazy like when they can get away yeah also maybe he just like slipped some one time and he just you know let you know about this maybe he just i don't know maybe he just wanted to test you sips and see if you were like you know into like it secretly and you could have been like his kind of strip club buddy maybe he was looking for a guy it's like yeah i could have joined his little clan of like strip club goers or whatever can you imagine that little group of what seemingly harmless like accountants and middle-aged dudes and they're like yeah make it rain i don't understand the the what that process what that is you go to a thing with a group of guys and what you just all like

sit there with like a bunch of guys sit around with erections in their trousers like what is what is that have you ever been to a strip club have you ever been to one lewis no never i've never been to one sips yeah a couple of times okay i went like the first time we ever went was it was my friend's birthday he just turned 18 okay right and then so we went across the river because where i grew up you got ontario and in ottawa is very close to um the province of quebec it's like right across the river right and their age laws and everything are different over there so we we could go there a year early if we felt like driving there to get alcohol and go and go to the casino nice go to strip clubs and stuff without needing fake id and stuff, right? So it's my friend's birthday, just turned 18.

We skipped school. We drove to Quebec and we went to a strip club that had a lunch buffet and it was fucking awkward, but kind of fun, I guess. We got pretty drunk like in the afternoon, which was, you know, a pretty funny thing to do when you're 18, I guess, and looked at naked ladies and it was really weird. But, you know, one of those fucking shaping moments of your life, right? Yeah. Now I'm here talking to you guys about it and I feel pretty good about the whole thing. So there you go.

I've probably been to about 10 to 12 visits to strip clubs over my life. So I've been to quite a few. I've been to ones abroad. I've been to ones in the UK. Every single one of them is completely different. So you think there's like a familiar vibe to a strip club, but every single one is very different. Like the ones in Bournemouth are extremely expensive. The girls are gorgeous, but they're very kind of standoffish. Whereas if you go up north, they're a lot cheaper and the girls are a lot moreish. Whereas if you go up north, they're a lot cheaper. And the girls are a lot more friendly. And if you go abroad, they detest you because you're like the typical English tourist.

But they're also cheap. So it's weird. Some of them have got like a nice vibe and some of them are really filthy and horrendous. You just don't want to be there. And some of them, sure, they do a buffet. I don't know who eats in a strip club. I can't think of anything. I mean didn't die it was fine but like at the same time i wouldn't want to see whoever was cooking the food either yeah unless unless it was probably really hot totally like a stripper

yeah like a semi-naked just like i've got some extra canola oil and just you know sprinkles it i feel like if they had an actual kitchen and you could see the chefs and they were all naked yeah and you could sit up well they cooked there you go you could just get someone naked to cook your dinner it would be pretty dangerous to like cook food like naked though you know it's like it's like if you've ever fried like had a fry up when you didn't i tell you a story about this so fucking i was cooking breakfast one time in my old student flat um i'd obviously like wearing my big woolly dressing gown obviously uh that was that was all um because i come out of the shower with this big woolly dressing gown when you said big i was wondering for a second there i'm already turned on as it is the fucking i was cooking this this

thing on the hob and the flames caught caught my sleeve of the dressing gown. It burned my muff right off. The whole thing went up. It's the pilling, isn't it? It's like the pilling on the... I was just suddenly on fire. So I slipped it off my shoulders and just dropped it to the floor. And then I was just completely naked, but I didn't have an alternative.

And so I was there like you know with all my flatmates three of whom were girls just stood there completely naked in the kitchen I had to like run through like screaming like a girl to get some clothes on man that would be a great name for a sitcom wouldn't it suddenly on fire

holy shit every episode could be a different story somebody catching fire holy shit tough to find a laugh in there though isn't it Suddenly on fire. Holy shit. And every episode could be a different story. Somebody catching fire. Holy shit. Tough to find a laugh in there, though, isn't it? People literally catching fire. Oh, he's on fire again.

Help me! Help me! Oh, my eyes! Some horns and clown music in the background. Yeah. Makes anything funny. You're fine. Oh, God.

I remember that very well. It was a good time. So, yeah, I was hanging out, actually, at Alex's wedding, because Alex, our editor, got married to his longtime girlfriend, and it was a really nice wedding. It was at the Arnos Vale Cemetery, and I overheard these guys talking to Tom, Tom Clark from The Office, and I recognized their voices, right?

And I was like, oh, my God, I really recognize his voices. And I realized it was because I'd been playing Dota with these guys who were Alex's friends for a long time. But I'd never met them in real life. And so I went up to them and they were all, well, there's two brothers and their friend. And they're all over six foot, very well groomed, quite muscly, you know, wearing nice watches, you know, proper kind of like real 35-year-old men who run companies, right? Almost like they looked, because they were wearing suits for this wedding, they looked super smart as well. They just looked like three CEOs, okay?

And they were talking to Tom about like Bristol Back and like the Dota games they'd been playing with him and like, oh, you know, you did this thing to me. And I was like, oh, hey, you know, and they were like, oh my God, I recognise your voice. So we talked for a bit. Anyway, it was really strange because we talked for the whole night about the nerdiest game. So they started off playing Ultima online and played like five years of WoW.

Ultima? And now they don't all the time. Ultima. Ultima? Do you have to fucking pronounce it that way? Ultima. Thank you. Ultima online.

I've always pronounced it that way. Just suck it up. Ultima. And so we went to the pub and we're drinking all night and chatting with Tom and it was a great time. It's really crazy. And it got to like 2.30am and they were like, oh, we got work. We got, we got work tomorrow. We better go home. And so they all said, oh, should we go to the, should we go to the strip club before we go home? And they were like, oh yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure. And so they were like, okay, cool. Yeah. It was this, I was like, do you go, they're like, oh, we go to strip clubs in every town. We know if

you ever need to know how good a strip club is, we go to strip clubs in every town we know if you ever need to know how good a strip club is we know strip clubs in every town and these guys were just they were everything that's how you get ahead in business lewis that is that's where all the big meetings take place strip clubs dota i don't understand how they do it everything what i didn't i didn't get it like because normally it's like one end of the spectrum or another right these were the kind of guys i thought might play a bit of FIFA, okay, at lunchtime. But no, they were like full mega nerds. Well, those are the most likely people that go to a strip club too, right? If like stereotypes and stuff, you know, like big jocks just want to like ogle at girls and play FIFA.

But you know what? I think a lot of it is like whenever I've been, it's always been with a big group of the lads. If we've gone for an away match, like if we've gone for or someone stag do or something like that. But there was a strip club that we used to go to when we go to a gig up in King's Cross. We go to the Scala up there and me and my couple of mates would go to this place called the Flying Scotsman. Right. Which was a pub in King's Cross cross it was a pub that also had a very small stage at the back and i mean this stage was tiny it was like nice tiny tiny little triangular stage and a girl would come around with a pint glass and you have to put a quid in the pint

glass anything less than a quid and they'd sort of give you a load of shit so we to be on the safe side we always put we'd always put two quid in, right? Just so they didn't get abusive. So most of the girls... You've got to tip them. But yeah. You can't shove pound coins down somebody's underpants either. No, you need a glass. And I thought that was sensible.

I was pleased with that. And obviously in the States, you all have dollar bills, you know, but here it's a quid, right? You can't throw a quid at someone on stage. Can you imagine like a bulging G-string full of pound coins? How unattractive is that attractive is that a big water pound coins are you happy to see me baby it'd be like when you go to the beach and get sand caught in your swimming trunks they sort of hang down like you pooped yourself that's what it would look like

so they they go around and most of them i'll be honest with you most of them are pretty rough but there was this one girl who was really really really good looking and most of the guys there were literally waiting for her to come on before they went on somewhere else like it was her you know she'd come on at about eight o'clock or whatever we're in the we're in the pub it's like a really spit and sawdust place all that there's no windows it's all boarded up so you can't see the girls see all the other men are such regulars right that they all know that you know what melinda comes on at like eight and then they go off and see they know they they know the place so fucking well yeah that they're like they've yeah so they're there every day they're the fucking they knew guys on the street working at the cold face exactly

the cold face of the strip industry that's right so we're in there waiting for the gig and we're having a couple of pints and uh this this this song comes on talking heads um once in a lifetime and all the guys in the pub they're all about our age or slightly older so this is like their jam right you know we all love this song everybody's like singing along to it and everything which is kind of a weird scene we're all singing along enjoying the music and then they stop the music halfway through for the girl to come on and strip and everybody starts booing because they've stopped once in a lifetime oh my god so she comes out on stage to all these boos and she's like what the fuck is going on just crying so we're all just sort of arms folded staring at her waiting for the finish

she just thinks it's over yeah my stripping career is in tatters i forgot to take all the pound coins out of my g-string. It was so sad. They can see my shame. So she comes on, she does a dance. Everyone's like, you know, looking at their watches, waiting for the finish. She comes around, we all give her a quid. And then the guy puts the music back on and there's a huge cheer.

So she must have thought, is my stripping so bad that they just rather listen to the in-pub like music than give me my dues as a stripper i thought it was kind of sad but uh i don't know i mean that would be a hard song to strip to as well yeah i suppose if it was halfway through you should have to like bash through it pretty fast they have to change the tune to something that's easy to strip to oh yeah take my breath away from the top gun soundtrack that's exactly that kind of shit. Yeah, it was weird. Yeah, music to strip to. Do you have like, because I went to Amsterdam a couple of years ago

with my friends, met them there, because they came to Amsterdam from Canada, so it was like a big deal. For me, not so much of a big deal, because Amsterdam's not that far from here sort of thing. And I'd been a couple of times before. So I met them and we went to Amsterdam and we did all the stuff that you end up doing in Amsterdam we tried to go

to the Heineken Museum at like four in the morning and it was obviously closed we spent a lot of time in the red light district and there's strip clubs in the red light district and I always just thought what's the point of a strip club in the red light district in amsterdam because like you can just go next door and pay to have sex with somebody if you really wanted to do that yeah but that's the thing maybe you just want to you want the titillation you just you just want the actual fear and like action yeah i mean i went to i always thought it was a bit pointless didn't did you have a look around the red light district like when you were there we we spent an awful lot of time in the Red Light District, yeah. Of course.

I think actually we spent the whole time there just because it's kind of a nice place to walk around and stuff too. It's pretty vibrant and active. It's right near Anne Frank's house as well. Yeah. Right near. You really do get proposition for Class A drugs literally every second as well. It's crazy. Me and Mads went there and we were like, let's go have a look and see what it's like because you know we were

really curious and it really is like an advent calendar of of ladies you sort of in every window there's a different lady and they're like beckoning to you and flashing you and stuff and i was with my wife so i'm thinking this must work occasionally that the guy just goes fuck you bitch i'm in i'm going to this just runs into the broth maybe yeah leaves his wife on the side it's um it's weird because they have like these big theaters with like a live sex show that you can go in and watch and um so we turned up to one and like because you you do a lot of drinking when you're there too and of course and some and and whatever and so we turn up to this place and there's this tour bus and there's like families that like tons of japanese people piling out of this tour bus going to a live sex show together like wow like it was crazy

there was like old people young people like whatever they were just like so pleased to be there and just so excited that these people were gonna have sex for them live on stage to like um whatever music i have a huge amount of admiration for the people that are able to have sex on stage in front of a bunch of people night after night never let them down like that that takes some doing you got to be a real real couple of good fuckers to do that you got to be a good fucker yeah that's true yeah do you have any like honestly you've been to a lot of strip clubs and stuff peering flax yeah and you've seen a lot of people strip and possibly

have sex on stage and stuff do you have like any because and that most of this is done to music right so like yeah for me if i ever hear uptown girl by billy joel i can't i cannot from my mind erase a woman stripping uh with the aid of a banana i like it every time like it without fail it doesn't matter where i am like if they play uptown girl at a funeral i'm sitting there thinking about a girl stripping using a banana and like it's it's kind of uncomfortable but like i'm i'm ruined in that sense like do you have any any similar no music that like has tainted or or sticks out like i mean other than that uh the talking head song that was what stuck in my head was the disappointment on the stripper's face when when uh when we wanted the music i hear it and i think of her sad face.

Oh my God. By the way, the pub I was talking about, the Flying Scotsman, has a Twitter account. Okay. Okay, and this is what it says. Striptease pub, titty bar, open Monday to Saturday. Titty bar. Nice. That is how old-fashioned this place is.

It's called, here are their tweets. 12, Vicky. 2, Carolina. 3, Jessica. 4, Vicky. 2, Carolina. 3, Jessica. 4, Ola. 5, Rose. And then it just says, on the 5th of October,

we're closed for refurbishment until further notice. They're done, though. Oh, my God. What are those numbers? What are they referred to? What time those girls are on? 12 o'clock, Vicky.

Oh, 5? We could have had the podcast proudly sponsored by the Flying Scotsman. Is this PM? Yeah, no, it closes at 11. so yeah, this is PM. So if you want to go for a bit of a midday strip, Fern, on the 3rd of October, she was there at 11, Lulu, getting her kit off.

11? 11am. She's a proactive woman. It's almost 11am right now. Just think, in 20 minutes time, she's going to be up there doing her thing. If it's open she's gonna make those quids if the refurbishment went through we don't know i mean it could be could be gone and lost forever but it may come back it may be better than ever i honestly you know when you see a pub

closed for refurbishment i think generally speaking what happens is they think they've got the money for it well and then they realize that they don't and they're just like well the place is half done we're fucked and that's it i mean with a lot of these places like closed refurbishment means that like they're no longer able to launder drug money through it so they just yeah closed it and they've sold the property and then they'll knock it down and you know build a coffee shop there gentrify area, and then they'll have to move their money laundering scheme elsewhere. Yeah. I don't know what, like, the new popular way to launder money is, but maybe pubs is like an old thing now.

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Maybe we should open a strip club. Makes you think. Yeah, maybe we should, actually. There was one in Twickenham. Twickenham, it closed down. The piano bar, it closed down.

People complained. Even though it was the most genteel strip bar I'd ever been in it was uh kind of kind of old-fashioned i could apply for a license to convert my garage that i use as a studio right now into a strip club i'm sure your wife will be on board there's none no no strip clubs in jersey so it'd be the first of its kind then you just need a little triangle right and then we need to hire some men to dance and strip it's a lot less hassle yeah just you know maybe yeah yeah you want i always thought there's a lot less the rugby crowd would be a the best crowd to have a strip club living in twickenham a strip club in twickenham would be i mean on match days

you'd do a fortune yeah but uh i i think the council is saying we do a male strip club so it's like men stripping yeah well yeah okay yeah we could do the rugby crowd do you think women go for that that like as much as men go for it sort of thing like they do as a group as a group yeah like on a hen party yeah it's like a hen night yeah yeah they go fucking mental for it by the way they go absolutely they do they have like those dick shaped straws and stuff like that they'll suck a guy's dick. I've seen it, like these hen nights. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. The stripper will go out there, you know,

they're generally pretty well endowed, the guys are in good shape, and the hen has to suck the guy's dick. I'm not even kidding. This is things that happen when women go on hen nights. They go fucking nuts. You're kidding me. I ain't kidding you, homeboy.

This isn't, well, I know they're much more touchy than men are in general because they just, but I didn't know they were like full on. Oh, they'll go nuts. That kind of crazy level. They will take it to the next level. They really will.

We're in the wrong industry, guys. Talking about what you want to do after, you know, in five years time, you know, just think, you've got the qualifications. I could strip for old ladies. I want to suck a after you know in five years time you know just think you've got the qualifications i could strip for old ladies i want to suck a guy's dick in five years let's make that dream happen let's just be just total free for all strip club just men stripping women stripping hen nights get bring them in who knows who knows what they're gonna get yeah who

knows you know yeah on stage today could be anything could be anyone could be pflax on stage or yeah you know i was thinking what my market would be and if i go to old people's homes to them i'm like young i'm like a hot young guy compared to some 80 year old woman right so if i go out there she'd be like wow he doesn't even need a stick to walk oh my god colostomy bag you know this guy's a winner pops her teeth out yeah she's like gets on with it uh let's move on to something else for god's sakes so uh what 35 minutes of talking about strip clubs is too much for you i mean a little bit well okay so yeah well you went you had um you went on holiday didn't you do you want to talk about that how it was how how you had a good time it was just a nice nice wholesome family vacation for a week we went to center parks uh in the uk it was really nice it was a it was a nice break

we went to the one in longleat near um the safari park okay we went to the safari park in london in a rented car didn't go through the monkey thing because they like destroy your car or whatever um and we got lost in bristol we flew out of bristol and uh we got lost in bristol because it's not very well signed and uh we almost missed our flight on the way back because we went to toys r us for like five hours so that was the highlight of your yeah holiday yeah it was funny how that it was one of those situations where like a second out of place if we'd done anything even remotely different like to the magnitude of a second

we would not have gotten home until like sunday instead of friday or whatever because of the way the flights are and stuff so it was like yeah it was pretty bad i was sitting on the plane like drenched in sweat because i had to run up a hill with like 20 000 fucking suitcases uh to get to the check-in desk before it closed uh and then we were going through like security and they were like scanning the baby's milk and they they fucking they like patted down my son who's four years old like he beeped when he went through the thing like real fucking jobs worth and then um but yeah we managed to somehow make it onto the plane and it was crazy i was just sitting there thinking holy shit like this should not have happened so i think like the

youngest terrorist ever yeah yeah they literally patted down your four-year-old son yeah oh my god i think that's like all of my my karma bank is like depleted now like i have to like re restore it now because i pretty much used it all up just to get onto that fucking airplane we almost missed the fucking plane on the way back to jersey as well didn't we actually because we were stuck in bristol traffic for like an hour yeah it takes like an hour to get to fucking bristol airport anyway which is ridiculous really it's like a dirt fucking road like from the city to the airport that every car in the in the world needs to be on at that time so it's like impossible god they've actually the airlines be bought out as well hasn't it now it used to be

blue islands but they've been sold to like a big thing and they've changed all the timings yeah they've sold out big time fucking yeah it's the start of the end probably not going to be a direct flight to bristol anymore i'll probably have to like fly to fucking amsterdam first and then get get a boat yeah get a boat we'll just yacht over we'll use my yacht shit yeah why didn't we think of that in the first place you've got that yacht just sitting there doing nothing you could convert that into a strip club with that full crew all the strippers on there yeah you wouldn't even need a license or anything just get a a stage and a pole set up on the stern international waters yeah yeah yeah it's like a pirate radio station that's right yeah yeah pump up the volume that's what that's

actually what they used to do isn't it they used to park up like casino ships and stuff on outside uh yeah oh it's a really good idea sips yeah man i'll start adding i mean my my yacht is only about six foot long actually it's not really do you actually have a boat it's a pedalo okay no a boat is a hole in the water that you pour money into. Nice. Someone smarter than me said that. Oh, come on. If I had a lot of money, I'd get a boat.

But yeah, apparently the two best days of your boat are when you buy your boat and when you sell your boat. Wow. That's what they say about jail, too. You only spend like... The two best days of jail are when you go to jail. Go out. Yeah.

That's it. Everything that happens in between stays in jail you never talk about it because it's terrible god that's my one of my greatest fears that you ever been to jail yeah you ever been in trouble have you got criminal record no i've never been arrested never been in jail touch wood it's my greatest fear is going to jail actually yeah yeah me too man sad to say a couple of times i've i've been and it's not nice well getting arrested in in a in america and canada is fucking easy like loads of americans have been arrested because you get arrested for anything yeah and three strikes and you're out too in america so like if you get arrested three times for shoplifting death row motherfucker you're dead as soon as i as soon as a policeman says anything to me i become like

the the most scared stupid guy ever like you know even if it's a woman police if it's a police woman do you feel the same yeah i don't take them seriously i don't know that's not a nice thing to say you piece of shit i mean i do i'm just joking but like i don't know that's not a nice thing to say you piece of shit i mean i do i'm just joking but like i don't know it's weird though i don't feel as intimidated by them as i do big fucking i do i think they're like headmaster headmistress or something i'm terrified of them yeah that's a good point although what happened at a comic-con was that there was like this police who were banging on our door of the private room, okay? And I opened up and said to her,

are you the real police? Because obviously we're at Comic-Con full of people. We didn't order a stripper. That's a tasing, right? That is a tasing right there. I'm dead. I'm dead. Oh, sorry. That's a tasing right that is a tasing right there i'm dead i'm dead oh sorry that's a really bad joke i really i i apologize even i know that those are terrible jokes i'm sorry oh man but yeah so i i didn't really i wasn't nervous about that that but but normally i am i can't i can't i can't

i'm terrified i'm a little bit scared because you know the office that we have right it's the thing it was the thing happening I don't really want to talk about this but I will do because no it doesn't matter like it's the thing on Twitch where people get swatted in America I haven't really seen it happen over here very often it happened to um Kutra and the creatures you know like Uber Haxanova and all those guys yeah do you remember that one that's got to be terrifying they were streaming and like the SWAT team had their like fucking you know that when they hold your head down on the floor with their foot and stuff and point a gun at you and everything oh my god it was really bad yeah really it's scary because they could like shoot your dog and stuff yeah they're like scary scary stuff

anyway right that's one of our fears that's why we have a strict no dog policy at Yacht Towers we don't want a dog to accidentally get shot by the SWAT team. We had the police lady come around and I was like instantly super, super like nervous and scared around her that she was just going to find something to arrest us for, you know. Because one of the things we have got here in the office. Shane, what have you done? Hide the shit! Hide the shit! No, it's actually Duncan. Because like so many, we've got so many in smith as well they've got so many airsoft guns they've all got their like there's a sniper rifle shotgun

and they just walk around the office with them they're not you know then they look like an actual gun and so the problem the danger i'm i obviously is that is that you know if we did get swatted we would have like a load of airsoft guns around. And all of those replica medieval weapons too, like the swords and stuff. Exactly. They look real. I'm not too worried about those actually. Frostmourne. I'm not sure they're going to be angry.

He has the one true Frostmourne! Open fire! So we've had to lock them all in this room, which Duncan's not too pleased about but i think it's for the best that's crazy hey listen before we start talking about anything else go on i just want to apologize there's a man working on my roof my my dad pad okay garage roof um is being fixed and there's a guy up there right now you could probably hear him from time to time

banging away and stuff um but yeah so if you hear like weird it was supposed to be fixing your roof not just banging away at your strip club oh i heard a boom i heard a boom yeah did you hear that yeah i don't know what he's doing up there but it's all good i hope anyway he hasn't fallen through or anything so that's a good thing yeah that is happening so it i apologize so it's not a new roof it's why is the roof needed to be fixed the roof needed to be fixed because basically the roof on this garage has not been touched since the 1960s and it was uh made uh it's like a rubberoid roof you know like rubberoid that fucking weird um felt rubberoid roof the uh famous facebook that weird like felty sort of fucking rubbery shit that they used to put on roofs like way back in the day that like melts a bit in the sun and stinks a bit.

And they like stuck it down to the building with tar and all that kind of stuff. What the fuck are you talking about? They didn't make it out of like mottled door or whatever. So like the new thing now is is like it's like fiberglass right and it's like this it's this coating that you you know you sort of paint over like a wood finish or whatever and it's like super duper fucking waterproof and it doesn't melt in the sun and it's got all these benefits got like a good like the like the stuff that's going on there now has got like a 20-year warranty and stuff so it's like a good like the like the stuff that's going on there now has got like a 20 year

warranty and stuff so it's like really good but this is this is dad shit lewis you gotta get into this like the the depths of dad shit yeah it's been like three days of this anyway the finish stinks too it's like resin based so it really fucking stinks and i'm sitting in here in this enclosed space and like i don't know if i'm to die in the next couple of minutes or not because it's really overwhelming like it fucking stinks. It's too noisy out there. The door has to stay closed. Well who cares? We can't hear anything.

You'll hear traffic. You'll hear people yelling at each other. I'd rather you didn't just like pass out halfway through. I had to call your wife and be like Sips is suffocating from paint resin fumes in the garage. Yeah yeah. Let him out. Here's what you do. Light a candle in there, and it'll burn away some of the fumes and stuff.

Oh, that's a great idea. And most of the oxygen. Yeah. No, you'll be fine. That's right. I don't want to singe my muff, though. Yeah, mind your muff. But as long as you keep it.

Careful, if you're wearing your dressing gown. Yeah, if you're wearing a really big dressing gown, careful you don't light yourself on fire. I don't know what you're wearing, but I i do know that it's usually slippers would you be surprised you know what my my daughter has started doing recently like she you know like when when a baby learns to like um grab things and grip them and but they don't understand their own strength at all and they don't really know what they're doing yeah so she grabs my arm hair and pulls really fucking hard and my chest hair too oh my god like i've just got like it looks like i've been attacked by like a cat or something because she's got like listen to you nails and stuff with all your fucking chest hair some of us aren't so lucky to have such a beautiful like toupee of chest hair

are they you're like a gorilla you should be thanking you'll get it eventually puberty comes and i've been eating my crust your body goes from like a 12 year old boy's body to like a real man's body and you'll get hair in places you never thought possible before so it's true i got hair all over the fucking place you have a baby it's like a fucking jungle under these clothes holy shit luckily mrs f doesn't mind gorilla she doesn't mind she likes that i don't know like how women generally feel about hairy men i think they like it in certain places like uh hairy chest that's legit they they haven't got a hairy chest you know like what is it with men though like hair just wants to grow everywhere like i got fucking hair in my ears.

Yeah. That's not cool. Shit. You know, have you ever been to when I had hair? Obviously sips, you can relate to this being bald. Now I never go to the barbers ever,

but I did go there one time for a wet shave to see what it was like. And he said to me, it was big text. He goes, you want me to deal with the hair? I was like, yeah, sure.

So he daubs this flammable liquid on my ear. Oh, my God. He lights it with a lighter and then hits a wet rag on it real quick before it burns my ear. All the ear hair gone, singed instantly. And then he like dusted away with a little brush. He was like, bingo. I need to do that. So I was like, oh, shit, that's legit.

That sounds really legit, actually. So now what I do is I get a lighter and hold it near my ear occasionally but occasionally i burn my ear a little bit so it's pros and cons yeah what do you what no no no he did it like you can't just stick a lighter in your ear can you do that with nose hair too can you just like it really hurts don't try it okay yeah nose don't put a light don't light your ear hair on fire listen i think i think that is legit though because i think that like hair i don't know i i i don't know if you can get like an ear infection for example if you like trim all your ear hair and just leave all the hairs in there you know you don't clean them out properly

what's the point though like because i thought that your protective like thing in your ears was wax right oh yeah the hair is just it's just for looks yeah you know it ain't doing it ain't doing so like it's fine to just get rid of it right yeah fuck yeah dude well yeah the body's like it's pretty much self-cleaning as long as you don't don't ever shove stuff in your ears or you know don't shove like cotton buds anyone who's listening to this now do not shove cotton buds into your ears for fuck's sake it's a huge drain on the nhs as well like they get kids in there every day with like fucking q-tips shoved up their noses and stuff. And like, you know, there's people. Q-tips are not for shoving in anything.

No, no. That's not what they're for. Don't stick your dick in the vacuum cleaner, kids. Never do that. No, it doesn't. Don't. It doesn't blow. It sucks.

Your body is like it works on its own with to some extent. Like you still have to clean your teeth and stuff. Right. There's certain things you have to do. That's true. But stop shoving Q-tips down your dick hole all right yeah just don't do it yeah it's not worth it use a dart instead oh my god the visual on that the old dick dart yeah the old old dick dart Sidward l could call that one 180 darts down his dick

fuck the mental image on that is i mean there are world records and there are world records if a guy could stick 180 darts down his dick i would norris mcwhirter well played sir you've that's a that's an earned record earned jeez i've oh my god the pain already like just imagining it's very sensitive down there of course and like even the thought of something hitting you in the dick hole or in the balls is enough to send any man into like a blind panic sort of thing shoving 180 start looking over one each shoulder just in case there's someone creeping up on you with a dart any dart any dance players around here yeah my dick is safe for the time for the time being it's like uh you can see why like those jock straps are so popular like the ones with the

cup you know like they protect everything i have thought that there should be an underpant that comes with a kevlar protection just built in well no no you just need to fill it for the pound coins yeah that's true actually yeah it's like make a chain mail out of coins really good yeah keep you keep your coins keep your coins in your groins kids yeah. Yeah, that's the motto. That'll be the title of the podcast this week. Keep your coins in your groins. Keep your coins in your groins. Like it.

It's a good one. So do you guys, so I went to LA for two weeks and I wrote a little bit of a diary kind of as I went through. Oh, please read us some of this. So I thought it would be interesting. Dear diary, feeling kind of sad today in LA. So a lot of the stuff which we got up to is kind of on Terps' vlog anyway, right? So I don't know if you've watched any of it. I only watched the Hodor one.

Oh, that wasn't even a part of the flipping trip. That was just unrelated. That was different. So anyway, we went to LA for two weeks. It was good. I had a good time um on on the first day that i got there right i accidentally i went up you know i checked in at a hotel um and i went up to my room but i accidentally left my suitcase in the lobby okay and i was because i was totally out of it and so turps seeing that i'd got in the elevator

thought oh i'll just take his suitcase so turps went and took I'd got in the elevator, thought, oh, I'll just take his suitcase. So Terps went and took the suitcase back up to his room. OK, now I realized almost straight away that I'd mislaid my suitcase. Right. But I thought I'd left it in the in the lift, in the elevator. So there were like six elevators in this place. And I couldn't remember which one I'd come up in. Right. Because I was just totally out of it. And so i went down and any elevator to the lobby looked around it wasn't in the lobby so i thought it must be in one of the elevators so i stood there in the lobby

like pressing slowly to try and check all the elevators one by one okay so that you didn't look like you were some panicking yeah and then like it would ding yeah people guy who lost his diary in his suitcase. And so I was pressing the up button, and then it would ding, people would get out and get in, and then it would go off again, and then I'd press it, press it again. Yeah, yeah. And I looked like a weird guy.

And anyway, after all this fucking time, after 20 minutes of worrying about where it's gone, and asking everyone, I asked everyone downstairs, I finally fucking texted Duncan and Terps to find out if i'd rhythm had like seen it or done anything with it or whether i left it in the uber or whatever and and turps was like oh yeah i have it and i was like wow i can't believe it i can't believe you didn't even tell me it's not like yeah it was it was the worst prank ever how do you feel about pranks like that because that was not the worst part of

it was when i went up to terps's room to get my suitcase back he answered the door in nothing but my big food the burned up one yeah good he got from my oh my god could you imagine i'm not a big one on uh on pranks don't don't care from i think there's they're too it's too low-hanging fruit you know we're tricked you it's like well done you caught me out in a simple way i don't like it yeah i don't know like i don't know how i feel about pranks like i like like like little jokes you know like you know when somebody says like hey um is the car here and you say no but it's actually here and stuff like i don't mind stuff like that but i don't know like like you know the game starring michael douglas that's taking pranks too far that's too far that's way too far that's too

far so yeah like like like inviting someone to a strip club it turns out to be like a male club i mean he was really fearing for his life legitimately at various points in that movie and then at the end it's like oh happy birthday we know you love pranks so we're trying to kill you a million times and whatever and it's like it's not funny guys too far yeah too far what happened to the old bucket over the doorway and it's got you know we're dropping the piano from the top of the building yeah dropping a piano on people what's wrong with that old-fashioned did that ever happen to you what did that ever happen to you someone i i actually got hit by one of those

buckets on top of a door and it really fucking hurt the bucket fucking was heavy it's fucking heavy buckets are heavy in the head they're designed to hold lots of stuff so you know they have to be sturdy and whatever and if that falls and hits you on the head then there might be a lawsuit in there somewhere yeah lawsuit yeah exactly um right so anyway we went on day two we obviously went so we watched a warcraft movie on day one as well which was really just i'm not gonna talk about it because it's all in it's all on terpsis vlog but was it good we went to like i need to know because i'm gonna go see it tomorrow it was okay it's a warcraft fan yeah if you've played warcraft you'll enjoy it like it she doesn't she's not a warcraft no she'll she If you've played Warcraft, you'll enjoy it. Will my wife like it? She's not a Warcraft fan.

No, she'll hate it and won't understand any of it. It's total confusion for anyone who doesn't know Warcraft. It's just a bad movie if you don't know Warcraft. So, yeah, day two, we went to Universal and did the tour around. And it was similar to what we'd done before, but they've built this big Hogsmeade. So I guess they couldn't get the rights to Diagon Alley. Okay, Harry Potter Diagon Alley. So what they did was they bought the rights to Hogsmeade so i guess they couldn't get the rights to diagonale okay harry potter diagonally so what they did was they bought the rights to hogsmeade instead and they built like

that reminds me actually i was in the airport sorry to interrupt but i was in the airport and i was looking at the children's books and lo and behold there was harry potter so if you ever need proof that they are indeed children's books well Well, they were in the children's book section. So that would signify to me that they are indeed children's books. Sure. Well, anyway, they built this entire place, like this entire Hogsmeade, which honestly, it feels like Diagon Alley now. Because Hogsmeade in the books was kind of this wintry place down the road out of Hogwarts,

right, where Harry Potter and that go for a beer and dumbledore's brother lives there it's not a big deal particularly it's like got a pub i think it's supposed to have like a sweet shop maybe it's kind of like a crappy little post officey area right you know you know the sort it's supposed to be anyway they turned into this incredible theme park full of everything and it's got a branch of everything right there in hogsmeade so it's got an olive vanders it was so we went around and we did the thing right and it was great honestly like the best thing it was basically you've got to understand this whole thing was enormous cash in okay so there was like the the harry potter sweet shop and it was full of merch

and every possible kind of merch harry potter related you could possibly fucking imagine okay you name it there was some merch for it and you could buy it. Luggage straps, bookmarks. What are you talking about? There were fucking bath robes and normal robes and fucking jock straps

and socks and pants and shoes and boots and Wellington boots. There were everything. It was like mugs shaped like a fucking owl shaped like a dragon they were fluffy fucking owls then you could buy a broomstick they were like wax seals you could like put your fucking family crest they were quills like like quidditch fucking like school uniforms like cuddly fucking snakes just the weirdest shit like every possible thing yeah you could possibly imagine did they have anything that was like really inappropriate for the average

harry potter fans like like dildos or anything like g-strings no sometimes it's funny but like i don't know is it appropriate in that obviously it was great going around this place with duncan and and turps because they both are big harry potter fans and duncan was just in heaven buying everything you know just really into it getting getting dressed up and stuff shim was kind of just like looking for the drinking the butter beer you know and just looking to leave and me and turps were hanging around just like watching enjoying it was almost like duncan was our child okay and we were we were living vicariously through his joy okay it was Way too gay, Dad. It was bizarre. So, anyway, we fucking went into Ollivander's,

which is this wand shop, and we watched the sort of ceremony, right, where a guy, a little kid, it wasn't a kid, it was like a 15-year-old with a full beard or whatever, comes up and is like, oh, yeah, I like Harry Potter, I would like to wand, please.

And the guy, Ollivander, says, oh, and it's this little theme park-y kind of ride-jokey thing where all the wands shoot out. I don't know if you've seen Harry Potter, but it's like this whole wand-selective thing where you get the, anyway, Terps and me were just joking in the background, and we came up with an idea for a sort of a sketch.

Almost like a, can you imagine, I don't know if you know this, right, but the way it works is that he gives, like, the person a wand, and they try it out, and they wave it around. And they always say, oh, you know, this is dragon hair core, and it's, like, it's made of oak, and it's, like, 13 inches, and it's quite willowy, right? And so me and Terps had the idea that instead,

that Ollivander would just start getting out, like, a dildos, right, and giving them right and saying oh yes 13 inches latex quite floppy black hard you know like like I don't know do you know I mean like he basically stuck going through all these it would be like a dildo picking shop right we had we it was fantastic we had a great time we went through into the back and you could literally buy a wand themed for every single Harry Potter character. You could buy fucking, like, every minor character. There's, like, hundreds of them. It was so weird.

I couldn't, oh. It was just such a, it was such an odd, surreal thing to go through. God. How heavily, merch heavy it was. It was bizarre, P-Fax. And everyone was buying stuff, like super busy as well like there was no there were massive queues for people to spend money i don't know but this is what happens when you're like a 30 year old guy and you go to things that are designed for seven year olds

that's that's where like your problems are seven year olds the people would do buy stuff we're all 30 year old guys i know but they're probably for their kids you know because like you have to because like they'll they will not shut up they ain't for their kids yeah they ain't for their kids they're just buying it they want it just it was just odd people love to collect shit like there's a there's a guy following twitter i thought he was like a grown-up and he starts tweeting this little anime figure that he's bought and he's like it's like all these series of tweets where he's showing off the outfit and all this stuff unfollowed unfucking followed oh come on follow me again i won't tweet those anymore please no more anime shit it was just it was an experience so i feel like like with the strip club thing and the harry potter thing i feel

like i feel like i should be like expanding my mind a little bit right i feel like i should be willing to like go to these things i think you've got a pretty expanded mind you seem pretty open to new stuff you've got a pretty expansive one yeah i've got a pretty expanded i've never thought of you as close-minded lewis so no no not once cheers guys not after that evening we spent anything goes baby anything goes. Whatever happens as long as you put two pound coins in the point glass. I brought my darts with me and everything. Jesus Christ. So I don't know, like, go to

Universal, go to Warner Brothers. It was really weird to see how, like, the sausage is made. When we went to Universal after BlizzCon, like, two years ago, they were still building all that Harry Potter shit. So I guess it's done two years ago, they were still building all that Harry Potter shit. So I guess it's done now.

Oh, God, they must have made so much money. There you go. Well, I mean, we went on the ride, okay? Yeah. The rides at Universal are kind of all simulators, right? Yeah. Where you, it's like you sit, you go into a room. Yeah, you go, like the Simpsons one, you sit in the car

and it just gyrates around a lot and there's a big screen in front of you. Yeah. It's cool. Honestly, it was the, the Harry Potter one was the queasiest thing i've ever done because you were you were basically on a simulator that was one of those ones where you know the rides where you um basically just strap in over your shoulders and it goes up loads into the air and then it just drops you back down right yeah imagine that but in a in so you're sat in one of them but it's in a simulator and you've also somehow got fucking 3d glasses on okay yeah it's like too much there was too much there to deal

with right so it was a simulator a 3d screen you just close your eyes though well man i came out away from it and it made me queasy so bad that i was i was just i was just like queasy for like two weeks after that honestly i couldn't did you go on the minions ride that one's pretty fun fuck the man i don't oh man honestly you say that now seriously but if you went on that ride you'd be like no i have a newfound appreciation for these guys duncan loves loves minions oh shit can i just say very quickly there were this this was when the minions 2 movie came out and i was in the playground dropping off my kid and one of the mums there was talking about the minions movie and she'd been to see it and she said completely straight face it was the funniest movie she'd

ever seen she's she's a 40 year old woman and the funniest movie she's ever seen and she wouldn't shut up about it was the fucking minions movie yeah I wanted to just punch her in the face right there. But of course I didn't. You should have. You should have. No, I just stuck a banana under her foot or whatever the Minions would have done. I don't know. Some stupid shit.

Yeah. I mean, the Minions was another one, kind of like what Lewis is saying about Harry Potter and stuff, where they were originally the comic relief the comic relief i guess in in despicable me and despic me too yeah yeah and they gained so much traction that they then went on to make an actual minions movie about the minions which i didn't even see it like my son liked them enough sort of thing but not enough to like actually want to see the movie or whatever so that was pretty good like maybe like dodged a bullet there or whatever but holy shit like every fucking toy store you went into it's just leading up to that movie coming out was just like like the same as the harry potter

shit it was like minions everything like fucking those like they had those little puck things that turns into a face cloth when you put it in the water with like a minion on it boom holy yeah yeah exactly it was just anything they could fucking think of that they could make yellow or put some fucking eyes on or goggles or whatever i mean here you go look i've just googled i've googled minions stuff Let me give you a rundown here, right? Key rings, mugs, watches, t-shirts, obviously, right? Shoes, bow ties, mobile phone covers. Yes. All kinds of clothing you could imagine. A sofa in the shape of a fucking minion, all right?

Shoes with the minions on. Slippers. Mother of God. What else have we got here? Nail file. A nail file. It's just a nail file with a minion on it come on people i need a new one my anime one is like all worn out so minions high heels

minions high heels yeah what's wrong with you minions golf balls i mean the thing is now though it i don't know like how often you go into toy stores but like new stuff has come out and it's obviously better than all of this minions junk so all of the bargain bins are filled with all of this fucking minions shit you know like it's just like of course they are yeah it's for 10 pence now minion dildos and whatever like all the shit that didn't sell that like you know the hype is gone now the movie's out but that's it that's gonna be your landfill for the next 20 000 years when the people of the future are looking through the garbage like what the fuck is this little obnoxious character uh oh it's called a minion apparently and the people of uh ancient earth were fucking obsessed with them to such a degree that grown-ups to children the

entire span the entire demographic of planet earth had to have a fucking minion stamped on some piece of shit that they were going to throw away in six months. Oh, wow. So significant. Indeed, we found an audio log of a 40-year-old woman proclaiming that this was the funniest movie she'd ever seen in her whole life. If only we could see this now in our era without comedy. In the future, they've forgotten comedy in the future. And someone digs up the minions. They say, wow, the people of ancient Earth really nailed it with this movie.

This was, oh, they were so funny back then where he says bapple and banana. Oh, so fucking funny. I mean, I don't fucking despise the minions. I don't love them either like they to me they're okay you know like they're they're they're not they're obnoxious yeah but they're not like overly like there's definitely worse out there i would say like my little pony still fucking going i think that they're fucking obnoxious as hell like and they're having like a comeback now you can buy toys of

them again and everything is this new to you the my little pony re re rejigger what are they it is new to me now yeah because we because now that we have a daughter we're sort of like starting to look at at girls toys right but like we never had to before with my son because we walk into a toy shop and he would just like beeline for fucking power rangers of course whatever you know so like yeah it is new to me now it's everywhere but you know what the weird thing is as far as that show goes when my kids watch it it's kind of sweet and it's not too obnoxious and i like that like they're watching it the problem is you go to the toy shop and tucked away in the pony aisle is some fucking grown-up who's also buying the pony stuff.

Not cool. I don't like that. Well, I mean, yeah, it does happen. Well, what are you going to do about that? Holy shit. So I had a good time in L.A. And, you know, it was great being hanging out with Duncan and Sheehan and Terps for like a week.

It was really cool. I've got a few notes here. So on the last day that we were there, we did one of the most, the things that Duncan was the most excited to do, right? Which bizarrely was to go to Target and buy a load of t-shirts that were themed around, I don't know, Iron Man and, you know, just stuff. Like just that you can't seem themed around i don't know iron man and you know just stuff like just that you can't seem to i don't know it's just the thing that he i mean i did that with duncan last time i went to la with him we went to we went to like a pharmacy that sold bacon bowls like it's a

bowl made of bacon and you have to put it in like the microwave to cook it well and then you can just put shit in it and then eat the bowl when you're done. It was really weird. That sounds awful. But then we went to Target and bought t-shirts because they're cheap as shit. Yeah, they are so cheap. So I've got a couple of anecdotes. Well, not anecdotes, but I've got a couple of things that I've made a note of which Duncan did or said.

So first of all, I think this sort of happened because i i play a lot of games with duncan and we hang out in the studio and if i ever get where duncan's headphones by accident i don't know it's because he's got long hair maybe he hasn't had like maybe he needs to get a lighter and clean out the hair in his ears maybe he's just got right really hairy ears but he can't hear like i don't know whether it's the years of going to like glastonbury and listen to loud music or just who knows right maybe he's just not paying attention i don't know but he can't hear okay and i i think this also applies to his sense of taste to some extent we pranked him he ate shit and didn't realize that it was actual shit we went to this really fancy burger place right and they were like how do you want your burger

and he was like well done and i said you can't order a burger well done because it'll be just black right burgers default is like yeah so yeah so black if you order well done what are you talking about like have you ever seen hamburger like meat like uncooked it's pink as shit man like it's not well like anywhere close to well done right right but i think legitimately you ask for well done. That's fine. I think what Lewis is saying is that if a burger is cooked. Well done is basically barbecue. You should never ask for well done.

No, no, no. Well done means black. Well done literally means it's cooked so that there's no pink anywhere. It's just that grayish brownish color all throughout. And the outside is like that dark brown with all the crusty black shit. Well, you don't want pink in your burger, do you? Fuck yeah, you do, dude. That's the best bit.

Oh, my God. Of course you do. Come on. How do you have a steak? How do you have your steak? You're a vegetarian, so... Well, I don't, but... Yeah, you...

Ram, motherfucker! Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood! I want...

Do people for real do that? Yeah! Because that sounds gross as shit. Of course they do. If you order a steak anything other than medium, you're going to be in fucking trouble, my friend. You can't order a steak well done. It literally means, please ruin this piece of meat.

That's what you're saying when you're saying well done. When I go to a restaurant and I have a steak, I have it rare, and I soak up the blood with my chips. That's how I roll. A steak should have blood coming out of it. I usually go with medium rare, but I mean, I've had to, the amount of people who I go to a steak restaurant with and they say, oh, I'm having it, well done, please.

And then they hate it. And I'm like, well, you fucking, I told you, I warned you, right? You don't know what you're doing. If you're in doubt, say, what does the chef recommend? Okay, that's the safe go-to, right? Because they're never going to say well done. If I go to a steakhousehouse i have macaroni and cheese like that's all i can do you have it well done or do you get a steak do you have it how the how the chef recommends or do you have it well done how will you have that macaroni and

cheese well i mean we went to steakhouse in america and they just they they have to serve bacon with everything right so i had to actually say can i have macaroni and cheese without bacon on top please and they were like uh rich we got a coat three uh out on the floor uh we got a customer bacon uh get out what are we supposed to do just get the fuck out yeah you get the fuck out of here yeah it was call me don't make me say it two times yeah it was pretty bad. This fucking guy don't want bacon on his mac and cheese. What the fuck?

What's wrong with you? Mikey Macaroni back there is busting his balls to get the bacon on the macaroni. Yeah, it's like this. Yeah, you don't want no bacon on your macaroni. Get the fuck out, you bum. Yeah. Go back to Jersey. They get really fucking shirty

about it but it was okay in the end thankfully there was no scene caused he picked it out yeah go to a steak restaurant with asparagus like you get like some asparagus and it's fucking wrapped in bacon what the fuck like geez we could take a break from the meat for one second here lads just have a fucking vegetable have a fucking vegetable shit i mean don't get me wrong like bacon is it like i remember like when i used to eat meat having bacon and stuff bacon is good but like fuck i wouldn't put bacon on everything i put ketchup on everything gladly but like not bacon holy shit yeah that's fine yeah so that so that was like a warning warning sign right and so then you know he said when we went up to this really fancy sushi place right and um he he was we so

and first of all so i i bought like we bought some nice sake and we were drinking it and stuff doug was like oh i can't think about sake it doesn't have a smell and we were like what do you mean so we smelled it right and it smells like wine it's quite got a good smell and he couldn't he couldn't smell it okay so i'm like i'm i'm sorry i love duncan so much right it's i i just don't know whether his senses are all just like slowly disappearing one by one right and then after the sushi okay we were talking about how nice it was and he said he said oh the tuna was so delicious it was like eating a what's it what, it was like eating a Wotsit. What? Right? It was like eating a Wotsit. A what?

Like a Wotsit. It's like a Cheeto. What kind of? Like a cheese, like a cheesy Cheeto. Yeah, like a Cheeto. What is? The ones that like melt in your mouth, sort of, because you don't even know what they're actually made of. What would you pick that as a comparison?

What an odd thing to say, right? And then one more thing that I've written down here. Did you write it down then and there? Like when you said it, did you whip out a little notepad and write that down? No, one more thing that I wrote down later on was that today Duncan saw a woman watching porn of herself. Wow. So he walked by this woman. It was in the hotel lobby watching porn on her laptop of herself.

Well, that's what he told me. porn on her laptop of herself well that's what he told me now i mean honestly the amount of times i've walked by somebody looking at a laptop hoping that that would happen like did he does he realize that that's like one in a million big thing yeah i mean one in a million that's not something that happens to everybody in their lifetime and it's happened to him like does he realize how lucky he is to have seen or at least caught a glimpse of somebody just being a massive degenerate in public? I don't even know where to start with that. I would have relished that.

What a weird thing. So, I mean, now I'm sort of down in his vision as well, right? I mean, the taste, the hearing, and the smell are already, like, queried. Okay, now the vision is starting to or his brain what i mean what kind of hey you know what i don't even know the onset dementia is the thing it does happen to people maybe he's like maybe he's maybe he's got it maybe he's like he's like 20 27 or something i have a lot of questions about that porn thing right so yeah if i'm looking at a laptop

i'm looking towards the laptop and if you're walking past behind me and you can see the laptop and you can see porn on the laptop is he like seeing the porn and leaning around to have a good look at her face and then checking out the screen to make sure they yeah i mean if he's just strolling past that's a pretty quick like that's like some fucking that's true actually that's like what is he in the fbi or some shit yeah he just instantly recognizes you have facial profile checks out that's her in the movie all right we got her well i think it was like we were waiting in the hotel lobby for for a while and so we were hanging out maybe you know he was just sitting behind somebody who was just casually watching a porn of themselves on their laptop that is weird maybe she had some last

minute editing maybe yeah maybe yeah maybe it's a common thing she's got uh you know a cam whatever she does maybe she got like a memo back from head office is like oh could you uh go back through and touch it up a little bit the uh the fake taxi doesn't actually look fake enough um let's just see what you can do and um you know there she was in the hotel lobby just editing her editing her butt off to get to make that deadline you never know so maybe i don't know maybe she was just recording a little bit of extra stuff for it in the lobby as well maybe like duncan will be in the background like creepily looking over her shoulder who knows let me know that'd be funny send me a link yeah so all of you out there that watch porn eyes peeled for duncan in the background scene it's like where's waldo but it'll be you'll be

looking for duncan in this case who also has glasses so you know there's it's there's some similarity yeah so yeah it was it was it was a joy to to get out of um out of the routine and i know you guys feel the same way right man it's the opposite for me like i love the routine when you're out of the routine it's like wow what the fuck like what am i doing it's all new stuff and everything like i'm i like the routine i like going away if it means we get to go out to the pub um and i like i can get up late those are the two things i like going to the pub yeah waking up late that's are the two things I like. Going to the pub. Yeah. Waking up late. Yeah. That's pretty much it.

Everything else is, you know, it's nice. There's like... But I like being at home. There's no chance of those things happening in my life right now. So I'm totally fine with the routine. Isn't that what Conan the Barbarian said? What is good in life? Going to the pub.

Going to the pub. Getting up late. Sleeping late. Getting up late. Wearing your pants around the house. Conan loves that kind of stuff. Do you guys want to talk about games quick before we wrap up? Sure.

Is it worth talking about games? Sure. Hearts of Iron 4, period. You've been playing it. Love it. Love it. It's got some funky aspects to it. I mean, this is the release version,

so it'll be patched to hell over the next few years with DLC and improvements and stuff. But I know the the ai does do some funky shit um but it's fun it keeps you on your toes like if you know world war ii really well and and like i i like to think that i know it reasonably well if you know what's coming it's kind of like hmm let's see how this battle turns out and see how it varies to history it's like okay i mean that's fairly interesting if you're into that two modes though right like there's there there's the one that sticks to history and then there's the one

that it doesn't really stick to history it's just that the ai tends to focus on the same things it should do historically right but it still does random shit like australia will declare war and stuff like random shit still happens like japan has routinely in the games i've been playing war deck the russians and just invaded like from east. And they've got so many more troops there than the Russians. The Russians are desperately trying to move troops across Siberia, which has zero infrastructure, to get to the front. And that's kind of interesting. And the entire of the Middle East goes crazy. There's all everybody's allies everywhere. And the AI will just say to you, hey, I want to give you 50 divisions of infantry as an expeditionary force to help out.

So you suddenly get this huge sort of swathe of troops turning up just when you need it and stuff. It's interesting. It is quite cool. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. I love it. And the UI is gorgeous. They've done an amazing job.

So yeah, well done, Paradox. Well, there you go. Holy crap. That's a shining accolade. I'm going to have to put some time into it, I think, because I've never played any of the Hearts of Iron and I'm a big world war ii fan when i when i come down we can do a run through if you like and i'll tell you what we could do if you want when i come down you can be the general and i can be like your advisor okay and just recommend stuff but i'd

like to i'd love to see what you think to do and like what you do and what what your ideas are that would be good i could be like yeah we should definitely talk i mean i could talk about world war ii with you for fucking hours so maybe that'll be fun just could be like yeah we should definitely talk I mean I could talk about World War 2 with you for fucking hours so maybe that would be fun just to do is it multiplayer can you actually play multiplayer

yeah nice they streamed a shitload of multiplayer it looks really good but it is there's a lot of detail to it

if you dig down but on the surface you can manage it a lot more easily like the older ones there was a shitload of detail but it was just such a pain in the ass to manage whereas now you can really you genuinely can leave your troops

to it on some of the fronts and just be like you guys handle that i know i trust you and your generals will go yeah and they'll go do it it's pretty good yeah i mean i'll look into it i got it i just haven't played it yet but i i plan on playing it i like strategy games and games that are difficult to figure out and that i feel like i want there's a lot to it there is a lot to put my balls into a vice get your balls in it yeah i have i have bought one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven games on steam in the last week and played none of them actually i did because you told me last time i should play shopkeep shoppy keep shoppy keep yeah do you remember yeah it's good you remember telling me to play that i i loaded it up i bought like three red potions i put them on sale i wasn't

paying attention two of them got stolen yeah uh i was like oh shit yeah you gotta chase after people and kill them and stuff yeah and then i had like i'd made like two gold on it or something yeah and then i could only buy it and i played it for like another hour selling this one red potion over and over again and then i quit because i didn't know what i was doing was i doing it wrong yeah probably i think i was doing it wrong there's more to it than just selling red potions so yeah it's shoppy keep actually came out for full release didn't it yeah i think i saw a sips video of it i'm sure you did a video of yeah i haven't played it in in some time now but yeah i think it's fully released it's it's a fun game it's cool if you like that kind of thing like it's like a bit of like a tycoon sort of i didn't i

didn't like him but the the graphics are they're okay it's a bit weird it's like it almost it seems like a like it reminds you a bit of like minecraft sort of like the like graphics wise but yeah yeah i mean the goal is you just like run a shop a medieval shop people come in and buy shit and you try to make some money off them and expand your shop and that's cool it's fun let's see if someone wants to live stream it or something it feels like the kind of place to it feels like the kind of thing that is a better environment you know to do it rather than it just felt like a very sort of slow game without me having stuff to do especially at the start but i think if you rp'd a bit it would probably be more fun so you bought

11 games and you played none of them so you're not actually playing anything i have i've installed none of them um i'm afraid i've had no time but i will do this week especially when you come down tips we'll play a bunch i've been playing overwatch i like i don't even know if i've really been enjoying it but i've been playing it a lot it's fun play with other people i tried you have to play solo queue is garbage yeah it is really bad um but yeah if you play with people that you know and you can coordinate and stuff like that it is it is pretty fun it's pretty enjoyable yeah it's like um it you know like it like typical polished pretty enjoyable yeah it's like um it you know like it like typical polished blizzard game it feels very nice it you know plays very nice and everything

agreed i'm not sure like what the future holds for it like i don't know what their plans are i guess there'll be new game modes and maps and eventually heroes and shit but um so far so good it's pretty good it's pretty fun well people are raving on about it i don't know if like i feel that strongly about it but i don't hate it as much as I thought I was going to after playing in the closed beta. So at least that's something I guess. But it's just like it feels like one of those games that I'll play as like while I'm waiting for something else better to come out sort of thing.

Like I'll probably stop playing it, you know when legion comes out or something i don't know i like that's probably a bad example because i probably won't play legion for longer than like two weeks either but um you know like something else will probably come out and i'll just play that instead or whatever right but um it's fun for now it's pretty good and i've been playing prison architect as well oh that's a great game. That is a great game. It's really good. It's really fucking good. Yeah, I like it.

It's got a kind of a RimWorld thing to it. Yeah. A lot of the stuff that happens is, I think what makes it entertaining is it's kind of emergent shit. Yeah. Like you don't realize something is going to happen and then it happens. You're like, oh my God, that happened because of... They've added so much stuff to it as well. Yeah, they have.

All this stuff that I haven't even used. Like you can do like a parole board now.'s like a library and stuff and it's like oh it's like all this new stuff to like check out and test out you can do like like um there's like this whole um research thing like that you get your warden or your security chief to research for like automated doors and it's like apparently the system is a bit like redstone and in minecraft so like it's kind of like you know you like endless possibilities you can like time doors to open at certain times of the day and close or you can have a guard like manually sort of press buttons to open doors and shit like that so i'm looking forward to like all that shit

too do they have gangs in yet because they were talking about having gangs like prisoner gangs gangs are in it's just like a like an added difficulty level so like um you know if you have to take it before you start a prison okay to like enable it and then if it's in prisoners who turn up and depending on what gangs they're like um you know aligned to or whatever they'll attack other gang members right right it just makes it like a bit more unruly, I guess. So yeah, it's cool. It's a,

it's a fantastic game. It's like, well, well worth the buy. Definitely. I think that's a good time to end or do some questions from the audience. I got some. I tweeted out this morning.

Let me just go through here and pick some random ones. Oh, here's one. Okay. This is from Raccoon Shun who asks, who in the Yogs cast would you be least surprised if they were a serial killer? Kim. Yeah, it's always the quiet ones. Kim's not quiet.

She seems quiet and sweet. Probably be Martin. Martin. I'm going to go with Kim. I'm going to go with Kim. I'm going to say Al Smithy. No, seriously. I think he is a serial killer, but whatever.

Okay. This is from Adam, who says, to each member of the Triforce podcast, what goes in to your favorite sandwich? Good question. Oh. Good question. Oh, God. Who wants to go first?

Well, it used to be ham mustard and tomato man that was i used to love it but i've i've stopped trying to eat so much ham and stuff lately so i haven't had one for ages and i've been eating more like uh hummus on pita which i'm a big fan of now so my favorite sandwich at the moment is pita hummus, with a bit of salad in there. I eat a lot of that. And a bit of tomato as well. Goes really well. I still think that my all-time favorite sandwich

has got to be peanut butter and jam, though. Like, I can't get over it. I've always enjoyed peanut butter and jam and still do to this day. So there you go. What kind of jam? Raspberry jam. Has to be raspberry jam for me okay i like uh i like a

chicken and bacon club like mayonnaise chicken bacon tomatoes lettuce and then maybe mustard on the top layer really nice bread like really good farmhouse white bread but like i i am kind of a sucker for subways italian bmt i like that i like that with red onion and ranch dressing i mean i had a subway veggie delight while we were away and i haven't had one for a while and they're they're good they were good she toasted it as well yeah which is nice sandwiches are magnificent i remember outside my school there was a sandwich shop which i guess probably shut down now but it sort of served some of the offices around the place and they did a fantastic club sandwich okay and it had it was bread and then chicken and mayo quite thick and then bread

and then blt so bacon less tomato and then bread and then a sausage cut in half with cheese melted on it in the microwave, and then bread. So there were four slices of bread. That's crazy. Okay? And it was a fucking delight, honestly. The best breakfast sandwich I used to have when I was at work was bacon and brie. And the brie, or it would be bacon and Stilton was the other one.

Do you know what I'd really like? I'd like people to take pictures of their sandwiches. I'd like people to make the peanut butter and raspberry jam. I'd like people to make my quad club. I'd like people to take photos of the sandwiches they've made and share. Yeah, let's do it. That's a nice thing to do. Sandwich gallery.

Sandwich day. That's right. Hashtag sandwich gallery. day that's right hashtag sandwich gallery sandwich gallery nice galleria all right last question for the day then from uh a person named becky who's the sweatiest of you three this is a good question actually i actually i don't know how sweaty you guys are i'm gonna say i'm gonna say me I'm not overly sweaty. I sweat sometimes. If it's hot at all, my head just turns into like a sheen, like I get a sweat on. I'm a pretty sweaty guy.

But I love the heat, so I tend to keep the house hot. I like hot days. I'll get out there. Like if it's a tall setting outside, I'll have that sweat just coming down my chest like in a hot, manly way. Wow. I'm not stinky. I don't smell.

Ask Mrs. F. I'm not a smelly man man but i drink a lot of water and i stay hydrated so when it's time to sweat my body's like we've got this covered or there's just sweat yeah you know yeah i think i'm probably pretty much the same i like i don't sweat profusely or anything uh like i don't sweat like just before i'm about to eat or anything like that you know if it's hot get that dinner the dinner time sweats get that but i don't stink either so that's yeah that's fine too so becky if you like sweaty guys you're in the right place yeah yeah i mean i'm not i'm not i'm not particularly a sweaty guy but that's because i have trouble getting hot i think like i'm quite thin and and um i i seem i think i must have some genetics where i because my i think i think i have some genetics from from hotter countries than this because i i can uh you know i i don't get hot

i think you're too english to sweat honestly lewis you're probably the most english of the three of us i'd say so you probably too english i have a handkerchief with which i i pat myself something just fall on sips from his garage roof yeah i died no yeah yeah what was that no there was like a knocking at the door and stuff so while you were talking about being sweaty i thought i'd just go check quickly but turns out it was just the roofer okay doing his his roof thing so falling off the roof yeah i heard like a i heard a crunch and a scream but i just ignored it so okay good job yeah okay well maybe you should go call an ambulance and make sure he's all right i'm gonna go do that now yeah or make him a cup of tea have you offered

him a cup of tea yet today no no i haven't no i don't like to uh i don't like to do that what are you doing because i it's the etiquetteer a cup of tea and a biscuit. Maybe that was the case in the 1960s, but it's not now. So I don't want him to get accustomed to it. He's expecting it. No, no. I always make anyone who visits me a cup of tea and a biscuit. I don't even drink tea with milk, and I don't even eat biscuits, but I have a special, special thing covered where if someone's coming around to fix something,

because they're expecting it, Sips. Well, aren't you just the greatest grandmother in the whole wide world? P-Fax, back me up. I thought you were saying you had a cupboard and if someone was coming around, you hid in the cupboard until the work had finished. This is where I store my victims.

I'll be in the cupboard until you guys are done. I just, I'm uncomfortable in this situation. Just shove a note through under the cupboard door when you're done. Yeah. Right. Okay. Cool. Fine. uncomfortable in this situation just just shove a note through under the cover door when you're done yeah right okay um cool fine right let's let's leave great thanks for joining us everyone thank you thank you we'll be back soon with triforce part insert part number here and i hope you guys enjoyed this part send in your questions and all that it's not a part this is episode episode whatever fuck all, I screwed it up. Okay.

Bye. Bye. Bye, everybody.