Triforce! - Triforce! #121: Angering Mother Gaia

Episode Date: April 8, 2020

Triforce! Episode 121! Lockdown continues and it's leading to some interesting PFlax theories! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello everybody, welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Coming at you, we're all locked inside Broadcast coming at you. We're all locked inside. Still. For a second week, although it feels like this whole thing's moving so quick that, you know, it feels like I've been inside for four or five weeks. I don't know what's going on. Yeah.

I'm running out of a few things and I'm not sure where to get replacements for them. Like what? Well, like, you know, you just, I've like, I've run out of shampoo and I'm not sure. I really want to have to go to Boots or somewhere and get some more shampoo. I suppose I could order it online, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. What do you mean? Do you know what I mean? It's starting to like, I found some toilet roll. So I'm all right for toilet roll. What do you mean you don't know how to, you know how to order things online.

Yeah, but at the same time, I lost my headphones a while ago and i haven't got any headphones and i wanted to get some i don't know because i i normally have stuff delivered to the office i live in like a flat and when they deliver stuff they always like they don't know how to use the door system and they don't get it delivered i can't go to the office and pick stuff up and we're not even like getting deliveries at the office so i'm like it's like awkward i'm not used to it and i have to it's out of my comfort zone p flex heavens it's just in the back of my mind you know it's like this unconscious kind of i think a lot of people have this anxiety right just hanging around there in the back of your mind with like cobwebs and nothing else if that's all that you're you're thinking about yeah you're telling me

you're worried that the delivery guys won't be able to figure out the door to your apartment. Is that the problem? No, no, no. Give them the benefit of the doubt, Lewis. Just try. What's the worst that could happen? It sounds a lot like I was happy with the way things were and I don't want anything to ever change.

I think it's just awkward for me to receive deliveries. I see. And I don't normally stock a lot of stuff. You know, I'm normally a kind of day-to-day supplies person. A legit, just-in-time guy. You need something, you get it that moment. Well, this is the phrase I heard this week, actually, that that's the economy that we live in.

Like, everyone relies on people arriving just in time and and and so a lot of things are only you know pulled together at the last minute on the supply chain and if one is it is it a little bit like if someone on a you know a chain of houses falls through the whole you know when you're selling your house you've got this chain of people of 20 people or whatever and they all have to sell their house on the same day yeah and move into the next house the same day and if one of them falls through it just um gets cancelled for everyone it's a little bit like that i think so we don't know like this this is the other anxiety i think everyone's all worried about the economy they don't know whether this thing is going to reveal stress cracks and

weaknesses and you know currently i yesterday i heard that um obviously because there's all this lockdown all these migrant workers aren't going to be able to come and harvest all the fields so i speak to my mom on the phone yesterday in fact on zoom she rang me on yeah what is this everyone's using zoom i'd never heard of it before is this a very insecure um sort of conferencing app that replaces Skype. Because everyone's finally realized that Skype is an absolute piece of shit. And people were like, Are you kidding me? I have to Skype in.

There must be something else. And it turns out there is. And this is what people are using now. I think Google Hangouts was better than Skype. It's like a multi-window WhatsApp. Anyway, lots of stuff so i i one story i heard this week was that the local circus who couldn't put on their show were applying for work on the farms um helping getting the harvest and i thought that's pretty wholesome isn't it yeah

that's pretty cool but would they do it like the elephants like a show like there's a lad on a unicycle picking strawberries they get the trapeze artist to pick the cabbages he's swinging down grabs a cabbage throws it to the other trapeze artist a little tiny car comes out and 30 clowns get out to start picking carrots that'd be awesome the best best fruit picking season ever i think that would be fantastic they're just juggling the strawberries. Put them in the basket. Tigers everywhere. What a thrill.

It's a bit of like World War II spirit, though, like the local people getting involved in their community because they, you know, they're either bored or haven't got, you know, can't do their normal job. between 70 and 90 000 seasonal migrant workers who generally come over from uh other european countries where 10 pound an hour or whatever is is great money because you come over you own your money and you go back right yeah all the australian barmen you're right so that is it i don't think i don't think australians think that 10 pound an hour is great money it's bloody it's a bloody shame mate 10 pound an hour but you know i'll's a bloody shame, mate, £10 an hour. But, you know, I get to live in London, I guess, with 20 other blokes. That's pretty much it. Also, they will fold the tips.

Yeah, and the tips. And all those ladies. All the sheilas love it, I'll tell you. You tell them you're an Aussie barman, they bloody love it. The potato farming industry over here relies on migrant workers. And what they're doing is they're, they're going to charter a plane. Yes. And they're going to fly over to Romania or wherever it is that they...

I'll tell you where it is. Normally, Bulgaria. Bulgaria. Bulgaria has not closed their borders. Right. Everyone else has. We were relying on Ukraine, apparently. Yeah. And then apparently, they're just going to go out into the town and, and, and rustle up some, some migrants and then fly them back over and they can pick the potatoes.

And pay a minimum wage. Not even. I think they pay them less than minimum wage because they give them housing and they give them a potato meal every day as well. Do you know what they do? They go into the bars and at the bottom of your pint glass, they put a small new potato.

And if you drink the pint all the way down, they say, oh, let me buy you a drink. And if the potato touches your lips, then you have to pick potatoes. There's a there's a little reference for any historical fans of press ganging out there. There'll be like two people that think that's that's funny. Oh, man. Yeah. So it's so yeah, so the weird times just get weirder, don't they? There's like all of a sudden all these weird workarounds that need to be made. Interestingly, Sweden have not done a lockdown. It's just kind of like business as usual over there. But they're just not allowed to have gatherings of more than 50 people.

More than 50? For the most part, everything everything schools aren't closed like everything is just kind of running as normal isn't it it's it's risking well there's there's a lot of debate about about what approach is correct well they're trying they're trying to say that if people just use common sense wash their hands you know so social distancing doesn't mean that you have to lock yourself in your house it just means be careful that you're not too close to people who are coughing and spluttering yeah i mean no no offense but i i said the americans but i think the swede the average swede has more common sense than the average american i would hazard maybe could be wrong you might i think i think as well

that i think a lot of european it's also a lot fucking colder in sweden i mean they're basically staying inside anyway aren aren't they? Yeah. If I know any Swedes, they're all playing video games all day. But I think in general, a lot of European countries tend to be a bit more, I don't want to say community-minded, but if the rules change and the government says, hey, we want to do things like this, they'll say,

okay, you know what I mean? Kind of practical. And so, I mean, a little bit, a little bit, I guess Americans tend to have more built-in cultural resistance to being told anything, even if it's in their benefit, being told to do anything. They're like, I ain't doing no hand-washing, coronavirus, stay inside bullshit.

I'm going to go shoot my guns up in here. I ripped you too. They'll do that. It doesn't matter. It's what I get me. It's got to come through these boys first. Just shooting the air wildly, trying to kill the virus. It's like those guys in, where was it? Was it Florida, where they said if we all turn our fans on

and point them at the same direction, it'll blow the hurricane away or something? I don't know how much of that story is true, but there was some idea. T-Mark. If they all, you know, just kind of a bit. I mean, I americans and i love america it's it's one of my favorite countries but uh you know that if if the government says hey we should wash our hands and stay indoors a lot of them are going to go no it's telling me what to do which is kind of this weird attitude where you think they're not telling you what to

do it's fucking public health advice why don't you just do it but they're like no it's it's like ingrained in them which i also like yeah not being told what to do is a pretty good rebellious nature it's like part it comes part and parcel with the whole land of the free and freedom and liberty and all these things but the counterpoint we didn't have any kind of uh commons debate about whether we should have a lockdown like there was no political process it was just we're all locked down yeah like that that's not very democratic or it's just decided one day after being pressured by a lot of people i guess you know what they're talking about to you and i think it's uh it's hungary whose leader is a bit of a shithead has now like instigated all these really quite draconian rules where there's like right for the time being there's no elections there's no this

there's no that so i i think america's natural response of whoa whoa whoa we're not you're not telling us what to do is actually healthy in moderation rather than the more soviet approach which is okay we're in charge forever you're in lockdown anybody living all of you clowns and uh let's get you on the farm. Oh, I love this. It's Russian. It reminds me of when we played Hearts of Iron. It's such a mess. The trapeze people, they do the high ones, they do the corn, and we get the dwarves to do the digging of the potatoes.

Say dwarves again. Dwarves. What do you do with your mouth to make that noise what russians do with their mouth i assume of course i don't know i've never met anyone from russia uh i so no it's it's a funny funny time uh how's how's it holding up with dad school is everything ticking over it's going all right any good stuff yeah it's fine like my my wife is just doing all that stuff and i'm just hiding out here in the garage and it's been working out fine oh my god have you been attending mom's school you're actually one of the students no no no no way no way no this is all going on while i'm just

doing other stuff i've been nominated as the representative of my household to go out and obtain supplies. So that's my daily job. I have to go out and get stuff that we're running. How quickly we fall into the traditional roles in crisis situations. The man must go out and gather bread, milk, and perhaps some cheese. I become the hunter gatherer of the family the family i'm surprised because i think people were kind of fighting over that you know they're so crazy and stuck inside they want to be like oh fuck it please let me be the one to go out no no it's the legally allowed one trip we don't we really don't want to go out and now my in-laws have decided that they no longer want to go out as well so i'm i have to drop stuff up to their place and get stuff for us oh right

i've become the old folks next door i've become the lifeline for quite a few people and let me tell you it feels pretty good what did they order on their shopping list next they like to get the newspapers daily um some milk you know sometimes like they just want pork chops. It's like, all right. Just like weird stuff like that. Stuff that we don't get, you know. So it's like always strange getting it and then delivering it. Do you reckon they're like changing their order to look more, to look less kind of, I don't know.

No, not at all. You know when you normally buy i think you go in there and you buy like six packs of hobnobs or whatever and they're normally like we can't put six packs of hobnobs on you know this list because he's gonna think we're some kind of you know biscuit munching well you wouldn't be able to buy six packs anyway because most places limit you now how much of something you can buy and at first there was no um i guess they just didn't tell the people who worked in the store that like the limits only apply to certain things so right at first i went somewhere i was like i needed to buy some milk so i bought four pints

of milk or tried to buy four pints of milk and the guy's like sorry there's only a three item limit you can't get this fourth point it's like but why you just buy a two pint and a two but but i did say to him i said i don't think this applies to like fresh milk i mean if if we don't buy it it's just gonna go bad right like in a couple of days he's like no no no there's a limit uh and then like two days later uh there's a big sign up on the door of the store saying that it doesn't apply to milk and stuff so i couldn't find the guy to like point at the sign and chastise him but i knew deep in my heart that it did not apply to uh dairy and and stuff like that this fucking happened to um leo she said to me last week that she went to buy some i can't remember something and she was buying some makeup and she got it to the checkout and they said to her that you can't buy makeup because it's not

essential right and she was like so confused she didn't know what to say i don't think but but afterwards you know i you always think of stuff you're like well you know it that doesn't make any fucking sense like it does there's so many reasons that doesn't make sense yeah i think i think people have become confused and don't know what i think it just highlights how stupid people are and how stupid they've always been and like even a lot of these measures and stuff further highlight that too you know what i mean like i don't think i i think this has shown that that i mean this is this is pretty mild compared to like some of this the really serious stuff that could happen and yeah all of us are too fucking stupid to i mean imagine that clown with any of this shit is in boots right yeah and he's like

he needs to get his next you know his blush or whatever the clowns need to do their makeup yeah and um he goes to the checkout and the woman's like sorry this isn't essential and he's like well someone's got harvest vegetables you know how are we going to eat yeah do you mean you expect me to go essential and then and but like i don't think anybody's given the right information or they're just they don't realize like what's going on or, or what, you know, like I think people just,

I think some, some people just want to be told what to do and they'll just follow that like to, to the T right. Like they just won't, they won't question it or whatever. They're, they,

they just excuse themselves, they excuse themselves and all responsibility because somebody's told them what to do sort of thing. Like that test where the guy says to keep giving electric shocks to the other guy yeah you've seen this oh the milk experiment all it takes is a guy in a lab coat to say proceed please proceed with the test yeah and they'll give this guy increasing electric shocks to the point where the person on the other side is going ah please i can't take it because somebody told them to do it they don't feel responsible for someone in a position of authority so somebody said to me to to this guy

one morning people are only allowed to buy a maximum of three of any item and he's just like yeah okay that's it i directive understood he's like skynet or something in here i mean that the issue is common sense, right? Is it like there was a video going around a couple of days ago. I think it was in Barnet. There was a police officer. There was a woman marking in chalk on the pavement outside her shop, the lines to show this is where, this is two meters.

So don't stand closer than this when you're queuing up outside the shop. He comes over and starts writing her for a ticket, a ticket for defacement of council property. And everybody around him is saying this is ridiculous and he said the law is still the law and i'm thinking all right that is a total absence of common sense no police chief wants his police officers to come back and said gave a ticket to someone trying to do something uh community-minded today sir well done johnson the law is the law it has to be common sense right so he was he looked like a tit they sort of you know it was all over twitter they apologized and said okay no no that was wrong but there is a lack of common sense very

very coming down hard they've been like sending drones out over the sort of moors in the middle of fucking wilderness and found people walking and they're like oh it's non-essential walking in the moors and i'm like fuck me like the thing is if you give someone like the police an instruction like no non-essential trips if you don't expand on that and define like the it would be like like the first run of rules that we got were like the very base rules for a board game and you're finding all these holes in it and there's a lot of interpretation and it's just going to devolve into an argument that someone's going to flip the table it's a badly written it's like giving a robot an order to make ice cream and then you just leave the robot there and a thousand years later it's

devoured the entire world yes i think paper clips Yes, I think paperclips is the famous example. Oh, yes. The robot where you say... Which we went through. Yeah. Very bodega. In a previous episode. Very, very bodega.

So, yeah, if you give a... I've always thought that a lot of policemen and police women, police officers, let's say, are very competent people, good at their job. It's a high-stress situation. They're the first ones to run into trouble, all that kind of stuff. But a lot of them are just people who didn't really know what to do and thought, I like rules, so I'll become a policeman. And they go out and they just write tickets and they're just obnoxious little rules lawyers. And you just think, you're not serving

any public service here, you're not really helping anybody, you're just being a cunt. But for some people, that's a job that they think oh i could be a real cunt and the rules will be on my side for a change wasn't there a politician who i took some went home and to his dad or parents or whatever and and sat and wished him happy birthday at you know five five meters distance outside and what went on a chair and the police sort of instantly were like non-essential travel right now you should speak to us when you get back or whatever and he had to like write an apologetic tweet saying well i was taking the essential supplies and i only stayed for a few minutes and i uh i just say happy birthday

then i left it was very starzy funny funny things going on I I hope I hope everyone is doing all right because it is quite anxiety making this whole thing we can't stop thinking about and talking about it and I know we're a podcast where we're supposed to be talking about other things but nothing's going on no just a lockdown constantly it's like uh I feel like it's like the plot of a final fantasy game or something or like the start you know like one of us the worst final fantasy game ever one of us in a room yeah you're stuck in a lockdown you're stuck in a lockdown but one of us is gonna break out and get like goku hair or whatever and get a big sword and start fighting and then eris will die and ride it ride a chocobo yeah ride a chocobo around and stuff it

feels very i don't know it like it feels like final fantasy 3 or final fantasy 7 or something out there these days i went i went a little uh yesterday i popped down there because we were out of milk but for whatever reason we hadn't got milk delivered on tuesday so i went down and uh i thought this is going to be hell i'm gonna have to queue outside for age and everything like that i got there there's like six cars in the car park and i get to the front door and there's a guy there with a trolley chatting to another bloke and there's a lady behind him with her trolley and i said is this to queue to get in because mrs f was like you're gonna have to queue to get in so take a book and i was like all right so i cut down there and uh and i said to the guy are you queuing again he goes oh no i'm

just chatting to my mate and the lady behind him said oh i thought you were queuing to get in she'd been there for like 10 minutes waiting to get in the shop just scared she's just waiting there with her trolley thinking oh this is taking forever i just thought it's just funny like people people don't really understand the rules or what's happening so they just very very english style you see someone standing outside a shop you just queue you just go and queue behind them it was yeah at a safe distance yeah of course it's not like you look like you're queuing exactly it was like him a big gap her and i was like this must be a queue like my natural my british senses were tingling that it was a queue of some kind but in the shop it was like everybody was like shuffling around to stay two meters from each other there was an

aisle where there was two lads one on either side of the aisle so i had to wait for one of them to leave and then saunter down the aisle it was was a bit weird, but everybody was doing it. Everybody was getting on with it. It was good to see. So what was it? Was it like getting good deals? Is there anything missing? This is the most interesting that's happened to us this week,

is I went to Lidl yesterday. Tell us about it. Tell us about your trip to Lidl. What's it like? I went to Morrison's yesterday. How about that? And at Morrison's, okay, listen to this. I get up to the till and, you know, there's usually a pile that you put your basket in.

And like these tills don't have much space for you to put a basket on top. So they've got this like sort of workaround where they're like, put your basket down onto the basket pile. I'll take the stuff out of it and do it that way. Usually that's like right next to the till. But now they've moved it about a meter away from the till. So there's just like this like basket loading zone that's far away from people. So they're like, put your basket there, please. So I was like, okay, I put my basket there.

And they've got this big piece of glass in front of the till. Oh my God god it's like going into prison like us yeah it is it's it feels like you're like you're in a in a corner store in new york or something with bulletproof glass they pass you like a brown envelope with a gun through the little fucking thing yeah yeah and all i wanted to buy was like some peppers and some hummus and uh yeah it was was like, it's really strange. It's just really, really, just really, really odd. Really odd.

I don't know, like, I wonder if some of this stuff is going to stick. I don't know if people will remember to just go back to total normal. You know what I mean? Like, I think some of this stuff will stick around, linger around for a long time, especially if there's like a second wave of the virus or a third wave or whatever you know what i mean so like maybe we'll just have these stupid glass panels in front of people again in uh in in convenience stores and stuff yeah the psychological impact you know it has taught a lot of people how to use online shopping and that is very convenient and i think more people sucks for the high street yeah yeah it does but i think always people will need to get

their hair cut i mean people are already gonna have like you know long hair coming out the only thing that the uh the high street is going to be is coffee shops hair salons nail boutiques and charity shops that's pretty much what it is i reckon everyone's gonna be the dick's fashion is gonna be the the big bun? The man bun? Big man bun. I fucking hope not. I'm hoping it'll be bald. I'm hoping that'll be the new fashion.

Well, people have been cutting their own hair. I don't think they're going to be bicking their own heads, but they might be shaving, like doing the home hair cut. Carl Drogo from Game of Thrones. Carl. Carl. I think it's Carl. Carl Drogo. be shaving like doing like carl the home home hair carl drogo from um game of thrones carl carl i think it's carl carl drogo hi carl drogo nice to meet you yeah i'm carl last name drogo you might have seen my man bun i'm out of work at the moment because I can't move my calisar across the desert

Yeah we accidentally ran him into a whole band of night wraiths and we were wiped out sadly Also I'm really sick for some reason I don't know what's wrong with me I'm really sick I poured a load of gold on a lad's head

had sex with Amelia Clark and then it's all gone downhill from there not feeling good not feeling good about the whole thing so looking to look for work picking picking any anything you got going radishes i don't have anything cabbages we've got nothing i need to get my greenhouse set up it's only in the planning stages so far it hasn't been it's gonna stay there for a while yet yeah that's it there's no movement on anything nothing's moving you know we're heading for another recession there's no movement i i think a lot of people's jobs that are going to be lost after this and during this i i think it's going

to be a massive crisis after this that i'm not sure we'll recover from for for a decade i think it's going to be a real disaster oh man man, Ben, I'm scared about economy. It's a classic thing. It could be... It's definitely a pin that can pop bubbles. If we've had bubbles that are

things where things are overvalued or markets are not very stable, it could topple the Jenga of precariously stacked... I'm hoping that it'll put put paid to uh the zero contract zero hours contract stuff maybe as a result of this realizing just how fragile the job market is for so many people something has to be done about that yeah because it's it's completely unacceptable to have a million new people just being unemployed because companies like oh yeah we can't pay it it's like there's a problem here fundamentally with the way it's all working when we're one one crisis away

from everything collapsing because there's going to be more crises there's going to be more yeah there will there will be definitely more crises maybe this is just like uh maybe this is like the weed of of crisis like it's a gateway crisis know, and it'll lead on to some class A crises, you know, like it'll open us up. What happened during the Second World War, when most of the population of young working age men had to go off to fight? Yeah. Was it literally that women came in and did the jobs instead? Yeah, it was, yeah.

That was what happened. women came in and did the jobs instead yeah and then yeah that that was a lot of women had to had to do then what were not traditionally seen as roles for women like working in factories manufacturing all that kind of and then after the war they were like we've got a taste of it now that happened in america too during world war ii when they got involved well it's where they get the idea that war is good for the economy from war is good for the economy if you're not in the war i mean america didn't join the war till yeah war was really it was great for their economy and so they had these two years of selling us stuff you know and they they sold us so much stuff the debt that we you know they

everything was lend lease and we'll pay you back over the next 30 years or whatever. So that's really what catapulted America into the leaders of the world, you know, was that role. Everyone else was fucked. I mean, that's not necessarily the same here. It's more that things go in cycles of good times and greed, where everyone thinks everything can't keep, know everything everyone keeps going up you know and you know um and then eventually it will fall apart because people get too greedy and have been too greedy and all right so here's my question and then there's too much fear you see and then the fear holds everything down here's my question everything's driven by fear at the moment people

aren't able to go out and buy stuff and companies are suffering a lot if you have a decent chunk of the population off fighting the war people aren't going on holiday or going to the pictures as much as they used to all the rest of it yeah um how did companies get through it during world war ii well the economy was now was far different back then though like this what was different about the service-based economies of modern times now didn't exist back then there was a lot it was all manufacturing it was a lot of manufacturing so and and back then a lot of the manufacturing just switches like we used to make pots and pans and now we make warheads you know what i mean like it was just it's a very similar thing today you know you've got you're awesome gm general motors is making ventilators

and you've got you know um things like that happening already and and gin distilleries are making hands but the problem is is that a wider part of the economy now is is made up of like food service goods like products like you know retail all that kind of stuff where it wasn't as big a long time ago so now there's a lot of people who just won't have jobs because all that stuff is closed whereas i also if it was stuff like 80 years ago it wouldn't have mattered as much yeah all that would have carried on and they would have been considered essential workers that wouldn't have been sent off yeah to the war right yeah interesting yeah it's it's interesting to think about what what we're what kind of road we're in front i don't think really anyone

knows i think a lot of people are assuming that this is just a temporary thing and then we'll just carry on again. But I think it's going to reveal some bad companies. I think the government is scared that it will be a domino effect of people going bust, causing other people to go bust

that are good. And it's about keeping, floating good businesses that are having and it's about keeping floating good businesses that are having tough times keeping them alive so they can um not to bring everything down all right so here's what i think's happened have you heard of the gaia theory g-a-i-a gaia g-a-i-a the planet is a living intelligent thing yeah that responds to stuff that happens to it, defending itself. Right. So let's think of what has happened over the last 30 years, right?

Regardless of what you think of, oh, it's nothing to do with carbon emissions or not, what's causing global warming, all the rest of it. There's been mass deforestation. There's been mass extinction. A lot of animals are going. There's been mass overfishing over farming all the rest of it what has gaia mother gaia mother earth what has she done she's decided you know what i need a fucking break and i'm gonna set spring 2020 every all you little viral

human beings that have covered me with concrete and pollution you're going to have to stay in your little houses and now get this side effects of the coronavirus air pollution way down uh general pollution in general way down all these animals just coming out and they need a good spring they've got it but all these the shorebirds and all the forest everything are coming back to life there are goats running around in wales in town centers because they're free it's like nature has been liberated for a short time yeah i think we should have this every year two months everybody fucking stays indoors yeah otherwise what the guy is gonna get angry lewis well she does already get it is what it's gonna be next time a volcano that she yeah she makes

volcanoes erupt and she throws hurricanes at the usa and and everything else but they're minor compared to this you ever wonder why the u.s gets so many hurricanes weather patterns it's because gaia is so angry at the usa is one of the biggest polluters in the world no no that's because that's gaia's butthole all right guys butthole that's a hurricane is is her way i could believe that florida is the planet's butthole as anyone who's been to florida will attest florida the planet's ass yeah europe is her her face and so it's like that's where all the all the volcano like vesuvius when she was young she had a lot of lots of spots it's more shaped like a flaccid donger though so like maybe it's like oh yeah

but just behind it is the butthole yeah Yeah, kind of. That's not a... You've got like the no man's land between the butthole and... Do you mean the Gulf of Mexico? The Gulf of Mexico, I guess. The no man's land. As we call it. That area has many names. I've always referred to northwestern florida as the taint

right the united states it's just just it's not quite texas it's not quite for it's just i think that's appropriate between many ways if you've ever been to northwest florida it's a taint all right and then you're getting into like uh towards texas what is first new orleans is in what is where's new orleans what state is new orleans in mississippi have you seen tiger king yet by the way have Have you watched it? No, I haven't watched it. Louisiana! My wife wanted to watch it yesterday, Lewis.

She was like, let's watch this Tiger King. And I just thought, man, I don't want to watch some fucking, you know, like this guy was on Louis Theroux. And I just, I'm sick of watching these documentaries about really fucking eccentric weird guys Americans who have like these fucking shady pasts and stuff and it's I haven't watched it yet I really want to watch it. It's so depressing. Oh it's good it's fucking good it's kind of it's kind of feel good it's just mental it's really worth watching. Wait how does Tiger King feel good when he kills a bunch of tigers

apparently? Well not really he doesn't doesn't kill any your take on this is very different from the take i've heard from everybody else who's told me to watch the show you're like oh it's a feel-good laugh along he's a good guy is that what you're saying no he's like a wacky gay hillbilly fucking guy who lives in florida with 250 tigers and a park and sells them illegally and all sorts of dodgy stuff and all of his friends who are involved in big cats are also really weird each of them is like super weird and has a crazy story yeah um and you know it's i don't want to spoil it because it's kind of it all comes out um in the in the show but it's really well put together

literally every character in the show even the ones who are supposed to be serious are just like comic book characters they're just just just wild people there's this like smoking reality tv producer in like a fedora who speaks in this gravelly voice and he's just so even he's he's not supposed to be one of the more normal people and he's so weird. Everyone's weird. Everything about that is just so not appealing to me. I don't even want to watch it. It just sounds like something I've seen a million times before. You'd love it, Sips.

I promise. I'll watch it. I recommend it. I'll watch it. He was on Louis Theroux. Louis Theroux actually went to his place, right? There was an episode on. That's where I'd heard of him before.

And that was why. Yeah, maybe. I mean, he's done. He's sort of semi-virally famous for various things, I think, over the years. By the way, can I just advertise another podcast just briefly? What? Go for it. The Adam Buxton podcast, which Mrsrs f is a huge fan of and listens

to over and like much more than the triforce podcast i know uh it's a very good podcast he's he went to school with louis through they were in the same class right they were like school friends adam buxton and joe piscopo cornish joe cornish that's right um so adam and joe show was something i loved when when that was on tv So Adam and Joe show was something I loved when that was on TV. I absolutely loved that show. And Adam Buxton podcast, Joe Cornish is on it sometimes.

And they have one with Adam, Joe and Louis Theroux. And it is a fantastic episode. It's very, very funny. I recommend it. Yes. So Adam and Joe used to do the Adam and Joe show. It was a podcast that ran for a long time. It was very, very good.

They were on telly they had a show on telly yeah they had a television the tv show wasn't great but the podcast was excellent all right the tv show was excellent you're wrong the tv show is quite old now um well i'm quite old lewis i'm 44 as you remind me last week although you thought i was 45 they had a they had a six music show for a long time which was podcasted and it was great and it was a big inspiration for um it was the first podcast that made me get start podcasting really so i mean it's the brilliant show yeah adam buxton he has his own podcast now and it's great um but sometimes the guests are shit yeah sometimes the guests are very boring i think they just and so as a result and they're not but how does his podcast compare to ours in terms of like is ours number like one in the uk still or because it was

for like a day no it was never number one in the uk what wasn't ours podcast bigger than than uh richard jesus richard brand or whatever robert richard you know russell brad brand ours was yeah popular than his for a time, I think. I can never find a chart because Chartable always wants me to pay money to look at the ratings. But I did see we were the number five comedy podcast in Denmark last year.

Wow. That's pretty good. I'd like to know what the other four are. That's pretty good. I assume they're in Danish, but I would hope. Well, they all speak English in Denmark, so they could listen to them. There's a lot of really good

podcasts out there. I've been listening to a few podcasts on the old... Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre podcast, Rehulstapa, for any listeners of that, is very funny.

He has guests on that. And again, sometimes the guests are brilliant and very funny and sometimes they're just very serious. Especially people, what's always painful

is when you look at the guests and you're like, oh, this is going to be hilarious. And instead they're just deeply, deeply Especially people, what's always painful is when you look at the guests, you're like, oh, this is going to be hilarious. And instead they're just deeply, deeply serious. And you think, okay. Because some comedians are like that. Some people,

they write very funny, they are very funny, but when you talk to them, they're just very, very serious people. And they just don't, you know, they can't just be funny on command.

To them, it's like a craft. Like an actor, really, I guess. You know, you think actors are going to be fascinating but they're fucking dull like you can't tell if they're acting in front of you as well right like some of them because they might be like hey you're the best i you're such a

cool guy i'm so glad i met you but then they might just be acting when they're saying that right you can't trust an actor never trust an actor here's some here's some here's something for you guys here's something for you guys you're not going to care but it's not and it's not interesting but here you go world of warcraft shadowlands takes players to the afterlife okay this is where we're at with world of warcraft while squishing the level cap to 60 so we had to go through expansion after expansion of you know like i'm level 5000 now and now it's just going back down to 60 after all that. After all that. So my eldest wants to play World of Warcraft.

Really? I told her that back in the day, that was like the game that everybody played. And I said, I reckon you'd really like it. I reckon she would really like it. So if I was to get her to play World of Warcraft now, would it be worth starting from scratch, playing through it? Would you think she'd have any fun with it?

Probably not. No. Does she like role play games? Does she like the fantasy setting? I mean, later on in the game, there's lots of like Pokemon battles and pets to collect and shit like that. I mean, it would literally,

everything that I know about World of Warcraft. I'm not saying this because she's a girl. I'm saying this because she's younger, right? And that's probably appealing to younger kids. I mean, she loves Pokemon. She loves role-playing games. She loves having a character. Right.

Well, she'd probably like it then, yeah. She would, she would. I was thinking, but right. Does she like to collect 10 bear noses for the local town dwarf? I guarantee you she would live and breathe this game. Would you rather... I mean, World of

Warcraft is the ultimate single player game with other people who, when you meet them, you don't want to interact with them. You just show off all your achievements to them in various ways. And so, I mean, that's what you've got to understand. I have flame armor, and this is my cool title that's what you've got to understand i have flame armor and

this is my cool title that i achieved and here's my cool mount that i bought and stuff but if you want the game you there's there's other games out there which do the same thing without the grind example would be kingdoms of amalur reckoning which came out in 2012 which is basically single player wow yeah um you know and it's kind of a semi-open world thing very similar quests but yeah your 10 year old daughter might really like that one actually she's nearly she's 11 this month right and it's i'm thinking when i was her age if i'd had world of warcraft when i was 11 i i think it would have absorbed my life right like especially from vanilla like it would have been all me and my friends talked about it would have absorbed my life especially from Vanilla all me and my friends talked about it we would have played it for hours

well that happened to me when I was 24 exactly but I'm thinking is it right part of me thinks I know she'd love this but another part of me thinks she'll have to interact with WoW nerds it's 10 bucks a month still too yeah it is 10 bucks a month but I don't mind paying that

has she played Skyrim? I don't think skyrim's up her street honestly it's a bit grim skyrim isn't it it's not like yeah at least with wow it's got that sort of cartoony look and stuff and like some of the locations in wow are very like aesthetically pleasing aren't they whereas but i'm just thinking skyrim has one dungeon texture is it like dead now at the start like if you go in as level one is there just going to be no people around yeah probably yeah but i mean that's not like lewis said though it is the ultimate single player game isn't it it just happens to be there happens to be other people around but it doesn't make a difference because you're just going and doing quests and stuff and exploring like if she's never played world of warcraft before there's lots of like cool places to visit and things to do and

stuff like right i'd imagine a 10 year old would would like it yeah i'm thinking about it i'm thinking she would yeah if anyone has any suggestions i'm not going to do it yet but i'll be interested to see what people think i am worried about the interactions with all the uh sweaty people my age that have been playing wow and and the people that do the fucking sex RPing on WoW. And I'm just like, if she bumps into Goldshar, yeah, don't let her go to Goldshar. But also just don't let her go into trade chat either. Because that's where that's where all the trolling and stuff happens. Right, exactly. But I'm like, how can I police that? Unless I sit with her the whole

time she's playing WoW? How do I police that? Like, it's tricky. I think you just do single... there's better single player game fantasy rpgs yeah why don't you get a like octopath traveler or something like that like uh you know there's loads of really good ones octopath traveler great example yeah i'd be yeah like if anyone has the other suggestions for periods 10 year old daughter um that are not wow i would please that's one thing that we're sort of we're always hesitant like with uh my son wants to play like minecraft minigames and stuff and it's like okay but i don't want him going on servers with like fucking sweat lords who are swearing and like being right being assholes to people or or you know what i mean like we don't

know who's on there so it's like we don't want to we don't want to let him on you know what i mean like we don't know who's on there so it's like we don't want to we don't want to let them on you know what i mean yeah yeah and world of warcraft would probably be the same you know you don't know who's you don't know who's around or who's doing what can you turn off all chat with other people and just be like like if i could create an account that says like no interacting with other people no talking with other people other people don't exist it's just a single player game npcs that's it i think there's better games than wow honestly thinking about it also i No interacting with other people. No talking with other people. Other people don't exist. It's just a single-player game. NPCs, that's it. I think there's better games than WoW, honestly, thinking about it.

Also, I think you've got to understand WoW is built like a Skinner box. It's built to psychologically get its hooks into you so that you never quit. Because you never get a sense of achievement in WoW. It's never over. At least in a single-player game, you play it to the end and you're like, okay, I can move on with my life. I achieved that chapter. With WoW, you've got collections that are never completed all the final fantasy games are like have been remade or are being remade some of the original like the nes

and the super nintendo titles that came out are really good i understand that however i'm trying to steer her away from anime she's already kind of intrigued by no but that's a that's not full final fantasy isn't anime isn't full-on what are you talking about look at it it's got elements of anime but like everything does that's my point is i'm trying to steer away from that it's like desert desert desert what is it called desert online desert something online what's that called what you do why are you doing this it's like instead of you're like i'm scared of my dog getting to weed so i'm gonna give her heroin i don't want her to play games that are actually appropriate for her i want to somehow change inappropriate games to be appropriate for her like this sounds like the dumbest thing to

do it's not i'm gonna give her a small amount of heroin so she doesn't get hooked on weed no weed i don't want to get hooked on weed god damn yeah fair enough though i suppose um look a little bit of anime never hurt anyone honestly the final fantasy games like i don't even like anime and i played them when i was younger and i didn't even realize that was anime and i i played all the final fantasy games i loved them they were great when I was a kid around that age too Secret of Mana they've just re-released Secret of Mana I think that's another pretty good remake could you get it on a Switch do you think I'm just gonna fucking yeah the new the new Secret of Mana game is on Switch yeah but there's um you can get PC there's a whole bunch of stuff available on Switch. I think you can even get a bunch of the

Final Fantasy remakes for the Nintendo DS, the handheld one. There's so many games, honestly, out there these days. That would be more appropriate than an online MMO.

But also, there's so much more spoiled than we were. We literally had to much more spoiled than we were you know we we literally would go we had to gamble didn't we we had to buy a game and hope it was good and then you play it to absolute death yeah because that's all you had you know we were different different generations different times yeah i feel like wow was a bit like that even back in when it came out like it was there was nothing really else out at the time that was anything like it. So you just sort of, whether you liked it or not, you just kind of played it, right? It was just, it had that similar effect.

Whereas like, now, hey. And my only tip is to avoid games that are built to, you know, free to play or kind of resubbing. But games that aren't like movies, you know, like in a sense that they're designed to to keep you in like through to keep you various mechanics yeah yeah they're the ones i would stay away from um with a real if we're talking about games just so addictive we're talking about games quickly before we end uh mountain blade 2 uh banner lords came out yeah we've been caning it oh my god it's taken over my life yeah

yeah i so the first like five hours or so of playing it i hated it i i thought it was awful like i just hated it what did you not like about i hate i hated it i played it for five hours i played five hours i hate it i can't i can't literally my play time is five hours and i can't it's just it it plays like a game from 10 years ago with no indication whatsoever of how to do anything or what to do there's no like there's all these like 10 years out of days all over the ui i think i did the same quest four times from the same yeah like it there's a lot there's a lot that's that that's not very good about it but having played it much more than five hours now i i understand the appeal i can see like i i am into it i like it

a lot now have you got a castle yet yeah i've had a castle i've got a castle i've i've been doing all sorts of of good stuff and it's been fun but holy shit getting into it i think the thing is is that a lot of people played warband which it's it's very similar to so i think if you played your 15 000 hours of warband and that was your favorite game for a decade you're fine you know like there's there's not much new but uh it's familiar and it looks better the graphics are much better and stuff um but for somebody who hasn't played much of the the franchise of mountain blade games it's very frustrating to get into because oh my god it's just so poorly designed in places it's it's staggering really the fact

that it took 10 years to release this as well as is like the icing on the cake like like like i went the foot one of the first things i did was um i went in into like a fight with some bandit hideout or whatever and i had a bow so i had a bow and a sword but i couldn't switch to my bow apparently it's numcat numpad numpad keys didn't realize that i was just trying to use every other control on the mouse wheel up and down it wouldn't work it wouldn't mouse wheel up to bow between bow and sword so so where you want a horse with a with a bow that can't equip on a horse yeah but only some bows can equip this is that game this is that's this game in a nutshell though yeah where it was was it a waxing moon and was there five clouds in the sky when you were trying to do a oh okay that's why you couldn't do it you had to do

b in that situation. Yeah, there's no help. That's that game. That is a perfect summary of how this game works. It's so similar to the old Mountain Blade. Like I used to play Mountain Blade. I loved Mountain Blade. Sure.

Riding around. And I played the Lord of the Rings version. Sure. And now there's going to be Game of Thrones mods for this. It's great. Yeah, yeah. If you can get past the initial frustrations it opens up and it's like okay i i understand this is actually really good it's got a lot of

potential like if people mod it and stuff and apparently people are already starting to mod it like crazy yeah fixing it because like i guess the developers will just take like far longer to get around to fixing this stuff or whatever well they took 10 years to get this yeah so but um but it's uh it's it's an interesting one it is it is really interesting it's and and it's good i can't i can't get on with it yesterday i did it i i defended a castle siege okay right i think it was bugged because there was like horse riders inside the castle all of the all of the people inside the castle we were defending uh me and like some other lord who had like a way bigger army than me everybody was stuck inside the castle okay nobody could get out and there was this it was like a 400 man army outside

the castle just like you know like like the treadmill walking against a wall like they because they they didn't build any siege equipment and the two ladders that they built to get up for 400 people, they built two ladders that went up to the side of a castle. It bugged out where they were, where they were meant to land, like on the top.

So they would get teleported to the roof of this like little place that they were in. And there was just like a company of guys up there just slaughtering them as soon as they came up this went on for like an hour and a half okay it took forever we finally got them all killed and then um i i we were like okay cool like we we killed everybody and i looked and there's like seven guys left like they'd started retreating and stuff so i was like ah fuck okay we're stuck in the castle and there's seven guys left out there that we can't find we just couldn't find them so i'm trying to open the doors and everything can't open any of the doors you can't open the gates nothing there's all these guys inside the castle or whatever so i had to get

on a horse and i had to jump off of the side of the castle walls and almost kill myself okay so that i could open the castle gates from the outside okay i opened the castle just just went right up to them and opened them up no problem so i opened them up and all these guys spill out and they're hunting the lands for these seven straggling guys that are still still around and fuck me yeah and what was happening was while the while the troops were retreating they were getting stuck in scenery so they were just treadmilling like inside tents or against trees that they couldn't get past so we tracked them all down and then there was only one guy left okay so all of a sudden every fucking uh friendly unit on the map just beelines to this one

position where this one guy is stuck inside a wall of the castle okay you couldn't i couldn't clip into it i couldn't see it nothing and everybody is just trying to like desperately get to this guy who is like trapped inside of a wall it was it was it was hilarious but fuck me it's just it's just so so in the end i had to kill myself and then i had to retreat from the battle uh and then it had to auto resolve which didn't give me like half of what i would have gotten had it just like had we been victorious that guy not been stuck in the wall and it's like oh man there's there's things that i love about it and there's this similar thing that happened to me mind-blowingly stupid about it yeah so i ended up like i did up unmounted and there was like three guys left and one two of

them were like in a trench like glitched um and then one guy was fighting me and i didn't have a weapon because i'd used my bow and i'd fired my seven arrows all i had was fist but i found out early on in the tutorial that if you just ran circles around the guy, he couldn't hit you. So I just ran circles around him and punched him to death. But it took me about 20 minutes because the punch does like one damage. So I'm punching him in the back of the head for like 20 minutes. He finally fucking dies. And fortunately, the other two guys were fairly easy to dispatch as well because they were glitched out.

And I won and I was like, fuck me. What is this game? I don't know it's um i think it needs a bit more work but it's version 1.0 you're already just you telling me that story already makes me want to get back into it weirdly like it those things would normally put you off i know the the battles are really fun though like they're really well done the music and everything and like just the just the atmosphere of the of the really big battles is awesome like you're just on your horse and you're commanding your troops around and stuff it it really does

ramp up because i'm really into this you know i'm into that so hideouts the hideout mechanic itself is like uh oh that's from what I understand, was in Warband, and it sucked then, and everybody complained about it, and it still sucks, and people are still complaining about it. And what a lot of people just do is they just don't even do it. Which is the Lord of the Rings banner lord you mentioned, P-Flax? So for the old Mountain Blade, like the original... Oh, there's a mod.

There was a mod where it changed everything into... You had the Uruk High orcs and you had this that and the other and you could pick what faction you wanted to be so you could be an orc if you wanted to be or you could be like a dwarf whatever and all the the units and the places were you know it was the map of lord of the rings like and they'd added a few locations and stuff like that it was great fun like seeing i'm surprised there are more of these things there will be for there will be for this um lewis but it's only just come out like two days ago so uh well the thing is we played conqueror's blade remember which is like

the mmo version of this which is actually i i think pretty fun i enjoyed it yeah i thought it was coming from that to this it's kind of a very stripped down it's very basic any of the you don't have any of the rpg elements really in terms of like, you know, building up your army and training them and all the skill trees and all that. Well, you do have it, but it's difficult. Yeah, Conqueror's Blade is far more grindy and sort of like a mobile app. The armies, like, you can have a huge fight. Like 500 versus 500, and I haven't seen any lag or anything like that.

Like it's really, it's quite impressive actually. Yeah. Like when you have the- But the graphics engine's a lot crapper. It is. But when you have like a shitload of cavalry charging into a shitload of infantry it feels kinetic like bang you know you're like smashing in there i really like yeah i got like this huge fucking like um i've got like this massive like glaive thing that i i can i can i can couch it and just run into people with it and yeah one-shot them. And it feels great.

Yeah, it's great. Oh, man, it's so good. And then I could do these like leg sweeps on it. Like one-shot people with it and stuff too. I love it. It's a fun game. It's goofy as hell, but it's fun. It is goofy.

Yeah, there's definitely isms to it once you sort of get past them. But it can be very fucking frustrating. Yeah. So I've been playing Metro Exodus, which is good fun. I've been playing Doom. I've just got Doom Eternal. I played the complete, the original Doom 2016. Really liked it.

Got that. I bought home my VR kit to play Half-Life Alyx, but my Oculus needs a display port, and I only have a laptop here. Oh, right. So I can't actually do that, which is a bit annoying. So I wanted to check that out.

So I might see if I can, I don't think there's even a HDMI to display port adapter. I don't think that even exists. It's funny. You should say that. It's funny. You should say that because when I got my PS4 and I wanted to play Red Dead Redemption,

I had to, I have it. I had at the time a display port monitor with no, um, SVGA port or whatever. And it was like, or HDMI port, I should say. So it was like, okay, I'm sure there's an adapter for this online. If you want an adapter that turns a DisplayPort output into HDMI,

you need a special kind of adapter. Like one way, no problem. The other way, big big problem so if i want to plug my ps4 into my monitor my mate was like just get an adapter and it's it's the wrong way right all right the adapter is the one i found the one that you need is a powered adapter but the one i got did fuck all it didn't work so it's a very tricky thing to turn uh hdmi into displayport was shit it just wouldn't do it but you should be able to turn HDMI into DisplayPort was shit. It just wouldn't do it.

But you should be able to turn DisplayPort into HDMI fairly easily. This is like the dad chat of like, did you take the M4? Yeah. That was the big mistake. You didn't take the A32 after six o'clock at night, a waxy moon with five clouds in the sky. It's a Mountain Blade 2 banner lord irl um but also i've been playing tabletop sim i played a game of dead of winter last night on on table oh yeah and

it was took a while to learn but it's actually quite fun we we we pretended that we role played that the coronavirus was loose and we had to stay inside the base and cure it so we had to collect medicine and right fight off like uh you know hoarders and stuff it was good fun me and rillian and um a couple of guys so yeah i've i've i encourage you to play tabletop chat to your friends and play tabletop play a board game that you know on tabletop sim nice uh i taught everyone katan on um tabletop sim the other day as well yeah they never played it like so many people would never play katan i think the first time i ever played it was when we went to seattle that trip to seattle that was the first time i'd ever played oh shit in the board game cafe place yeah it was good yeah but yeah no tabletop sim tabletop sim seems pretty good i i can't i've

never gotten into it because i i didn't like the whole the support for it like that you have to pick up like the pieces and stuff like like it's a real board game i don't know i just didn't like that about it and yeah that's part of it i know it's a really dedicated workshop people who have really remade these yeah yeah so authentically and put like scripts in and stuff. We played Secret Hitler on the tabletop board simulator. Oh, yeah. That's really good. That's quite an easy game to play.

Because most of it is talking. So the board stuff is not that bad. Yeah. But that was a fun one. Terraforming Mars. Apart from sometimes people accidentally turn their cards over like dunces and you'd know who was for what. You guys should play some Terraforming Mars, Lewis, if it's on there.

Yeah, that might be on there. Oh, it's going to be on there for sure. Flax nose. I'm going to have a look now. Flax nose. Anything that's any good is usually on there. All right, everybody. Listen, that's enough from us.

I have to go and do my, I'm the nominated grocery shopper person for mine and another house. So I have to go. I have to go do these shoppings. Wish me luck. Hopefully I don't get contaminated while I'm out there. I've got my hazmat suit on and I'll piss on myself regularly to make sure that I'm cleansed and all that kind of post-apocalyptic stuff there. And stay safe. Try not to also also get contaminated and hopefully

this will all be done soon and we everybody can go back to normal thanks for listening guys it's nice i mean we honestly do this podcast just to just to check in with each other it's not really talk to each other much otherwise so it's you know we're not really trying to entertain you sorry we're just talking spouting whatsoever's garbage on our mind um well everyone's everyone's in the same situation i know a lot of people listen to this podcast to help them go to sleep this is the episode this is the one yeah this has been a sleepy one not too much shouting all right i'm gonna go and um eat some radishes be healthy good luck i'm on a new health kick what What a day. Thanks for listening. See you later. Bye. Bye. Bye.