Triforce! - Triforce! #14: Eau De Vito

Episode Date: June 29, 2016

It's the topical Brexit episode! Lewis trades war stories, Pyrion blames everything on a bike accident and Sips smelled a flower.   Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. Hi, everybody. what's up? Welcome back to the Triforce podcast featuring your favorite three guys in the whole wide world. That's right. It's me and Lewis. Hey. Peering Flax. And we're here today to talk about Brexit and Bromain because it's topical.

Today is the day, right? But you won't get this until a week later. So we can talk about our predictions. And then in a week's time, you can be like, holy shit, those guys had it so wrong. I predict most people won't vote because I don't think anyone gives a shit. So I think you're totally, totally wide of the mark there, dude. Yeah, I think it might be. No know it feels like it's been all that's been talked about on tv and newspapers lately i feel like a lot of people because there's nothing

else to talk about they hype it up as this big thing but like i don't think it is like a big deal at all yeah it's like overwatch it's all hype and no substance it's all i don't like it i don't like overwatch i i honestly like in a week's time i think people do you like the eu though people will be glad to not hear about brexit anymore for in a week's time, I think people will be... Do you like the EU, though? I think people will be glad to not hear about Brexit anymore for a week, because it's a fucking joke. If I have to hear that joke, Brexit sounds like a shitty breakfast cereal.

If I have to hear that one more fucking time, I'm going to just strangle someone. If anything, at least that will end. I'm going to be like that bear in the Revenant. Spoiler. Just really angry. There's a bear in the Revenant. Spoiler. Just really angry. There's a bear in the Revenant? I'm going to watch the Revenant.

I watched it the weekend. I've seen it. God, it was a good film. Really? Yeah, I enjoyed it a lot. I thought it was great. I still need to see it. I meant to go see it in the movie theaters,

but I just don't get a chance. I don't get a chance to do that. In the movie theaters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. I wanted to. i hope it'll be coming soon to a movie theater it's actually come and gone already period flax i'll have you know you'll have to wait for that one to uh come out to rent on vhs or or alternate film acts like beatamax or yeah yeah whatever they had in Japan. Other formats are available. So yeah, Brexit, right? There's two choices. You're either a pussy that hates England

and you want to stay with the European masters and bend over and get fucked by Brussels or you're a racist that hates people and you're literally killing people by not allowing them into our country. You fucker. So there's two choices. Be a pussy or be a racist.

There's one, there's like a technicality there it's not that they're not going to let everyone in they're going to let people who are useful in and that makes you even more racist because people are like well if these people can't come over what happens to the nhs and they turn around say well obviously we're going to let doctors in for christ's sake so that makes you more racist right even more so that makes you worse because you're like well we don't want janitors but we we want brain surgeons so it's you never have to worry on that front problem of of of two bad options right this it's like every election there's always you have to choose the lesser of two evils i mean the American election Trump versus Hillary

holy fucking shit how is either of those outcomes a good outcome could you I mean holy that is going to be

a bad one when that comes around no one's going to shut the fuck up about that you think you're sick of Brexit I'm already sick

of Trump Hillary yeah or hump or hump yeah I think I can i could live with hump actually oh i've got the hump jesus someone posted uh in one of the current board thread it was on the yoxcar sub reddit saying can we please not talk about american politics because it like triggers them basically all right i think that this is what you're going back to what you were saying about there being too much uh stuff in on tv about politics and how it's going to destroy the world yeah it's become the new armageddon we used to

talk about the cold war and how the commies had nukes they got nukes pointed right at every school in this country god yeah yeah that's why like my parents and probably your parents had to like do those drills where they hid under their desks in case that... Duck and cover. Because, you know, that's going to help, you know, when an A-bomb goes off and melts everything. If you're under a desk and it melts onto you, you'll die quicker. Yeah, that's it. I've become a desk man.

When you hear the nuclear air raid warning, be sure to use sellotape to stick cardboard cereal boxes over your windows. Do it quickly. You only have 30 seconds. Where'd you put the fucking sellotape? I can't find it. It's in the drawer next to the scissors. I can't find the fucking scissors. Boom.

That's how you go out bickering about tape. It's the age old, like it's the climate of fear thing, right? But nowadays, you're fearful of like weird shit. You're not scared that bombs are going to drop or whatever. You're scared of like people who are going to suck total balls at a job, getting into the job and stuff like that. Like that's the new fear. That's taken over from like tangible fears, like, you know, dying because of like an atomic blast. Yeah.

think like tangible fears like you know dying because of like an atomic blast yeah just being scared that trump's gonna get in and somehow fucking you know cause some problems or whatever by just being a doofus sort of thing that's why people yeah that's why people are scared nowadays i i actually love watching him talk because he feels like a an imposter to humanity itself like the way he talks is like someone who'd been told this was how people talk but he doesn't actually know on a fundamental level how to talk like a human being i think he's great there was he was in scotland and he has this weird way of doing everything where he almost looks into the distance when he says stuff like he's so busy they said are you pleased to be back in scotland he goes i love it i'm so happy to be back in scotland i love it scotland is great i love it and he just kind of but he's not talking to anyone he's just busy. They said, are you pleased to be back in Scotland? He goes, I love it. I'm so happy to be back in Scotland. I love it.

Scotland is great. I love it. And he just kind of, but he's not talking to anyone. He's just kind of looking into the distance. But there's a bird headed for him. Is that an eagle? Is that a,

it's coming right for us. He's like rain, man. It's just so weird. It just goes off on one. Trump thinks an eagle is coming towards us. Did you just drop 25,000 toothpicks on the ground? I'm pretty sure it's 25,000.

No, it's just two. Definitely by my underpants at game one. He's like Rain Man, but not skilled in math. That's like two toothpicks there. He's Rain Man with no redeemable qualities whatsoever. Mr. Trump, there's like clearly over a thousand to this. Two, two toothpicks. I see two.

I love Scotland. Did I tell you? I love it. Make the best toothpicks in Scotland. Jesus. There's Mrs. S. Sorry, you lads carry on. I'll be back in a minute.

You go and say hi for us. So are you going to vote, Sips? Have you gone out? I'm not allowed to. Apparently, we were possibly going to be able to, but because we're a dependent territory and we're self-governed and everything over here. No way. Yeah, we don't get the chance to vote.

So we're affected by it though too, I think. You know, like whatever the outcome is. But we don't get a say whatsoever. There was a thing I read the other day about this. And it was someone in, I think the french prime minister or someone in charge some someone maybe someone elected bureau russell's bureaucrat said um that if the uk left the um eu it would become as irrelevant as guernsey right wow now now guernsey is obviously jersey's little brother right yeah so i mean it's kind of or is guernsey jerry's big brother which one's the

big do you have like a guernsey's smaller so i'd say definitely the little brother which one had bergerac uh jersey the good the good island had bergerac yeah yeah so they said that sorry pfax did you say hi to your wife i did yeah i did she voted no no she went postal right oh what does that mean with the vote i hasten to add she didn't she went on a killing spree outside but she's fine yeah so i thought that was a bit mean because i thought well saying that the uk will become like guernsey is kind of okay because guernsey does all right right jersey and guernsey do fine they're pretty pretty cool places they they seem to manage just well they have a really thriving industry revolving around people avoiding tax so i mean if the uk would like to get into

that as well then maybe that's what ireland have been doing and that's why so many big companies have been setting up in ireland lately seems to work for them yeah that's true actually yeah because like there's a whole bunch of big companies like all basically all of the uh online games and stuff that you play operate out of ireland in some capacity now right because it's like we get paid by google in ireland you know that's how we make our money cheaper yeah it's cheaper for them you don't have to pay tax famously there's ireland don't actually tax musicians either and that's why you two never moved like i don't even think that they were really particularly proud to be irish and i

think they probably would have moved somewhere else but there's obviously huge uh monetary benefits of staying in ireland so that's musicians that's great that encourages you know people to yeah the next you too for a living yeah exactly you never know that's a good way to do it i think they probably end up with a lot more people playing the fiddle and fiddling their way down into the pubs and things. Yeah. Ah, I love it. Maybe.

So are you guys going to vote? Is that a thing you're going to do? Well, I can't, so no, I'm not going to. Sorry, yes. PFLAX? Yes, of course. Yeah, absolutely. What are you going to vote?

Or are you not going to tell us? Now, you can't ask that. No, no, listen. You can't ask what people are going to vote because it's a little... But then again, right, some people are very, very willing to just be outright about it. Like say, I'm 36 and I'm proud. Whereas you wouldn't go up to her and you'd say, oh, hey, how old are you? Right?

Or like, you don't ask people's weight. You don't ask how much people earn. Right? These are polite things you don't know. But people can tell you, and they're very happy to tell you yeah yeah you know all right i'll tell you i'm voting for this it's like well but but you can't ask them see yeah yeah they sort of give you like a little insight into their life when they declare that they're going to vote like one way or whatever because they have to like reaffirm that you know that's their choice

sort of thing so they're like like you said like i'm I earn 45 grand a year, and I have 2.5 kids, and I'm going to vote yes. And then you know exactly what you need to know about them based on that. That's true. I am a mother, and I want to ensure the future of this country for my children. I'm 36 years old. I'm 180 pounds. I earn 25 thousand dollars a year

I also have a small wart on the inside of my butt The inside? There's a picture of it here on my phone You don't need to know all this for crying out loud woman Some people like that though

Some people do, yeah. They will not keep anything secret. I changed my name to Pyramane Flax on Twitter, so I'm out there with Romaine. So you're a Bromaine. You want a Bromaine in the EU. All about the Bromaine. That means you're a pussy, P-Flax. You're a fucking pussy.

We don't believe. It's the fucking future of Britain. You piece of shit. No shit no you know what though right i i don't um i i was the thing that i've been following the whole fucking time is not actually any of these stupid polls exit polls any of this wank what you look at when you want to know who's going to win something yeah it's red it's ladbrokes right oh of course or someone like that okay because they have a professional vested interest in trying to predict the future and they usually are pretty fucking good at it

and it's almost been like almost the whole way and i think most recently the last time i checked it was about 75 chance of remain so that's a pretty pretty good odds um i reckon that's terrible odds you'd be that that's not going to give you any return whatsoever yeah well if you want to make money off the whole brexit remain yeah that's not very good you want it to be like neck and neck so either way remain is currently eight to one on yeah so i tend to just take 20 quid on leave so that at least i get something out of it if we if we leave so it's 8-1, is it? 8-1 on. So it's like 1-8. So 8-1 on, yeah.

So eight times more likely to win. So there you go. So I can get 5-1 if I vote for Brexit. Remain seems to have had a late surge, at least from what I've seen. A lot of people have been very proudly claiming Remain. It's a tenner on leave. I think it would be crazy if they left though realistically i think there's just so so so many things that people never consider um in in a

decision like this and i think you have to be pretty fucking insane to actually think that they're gonna leave there i said it yeah i just i just feel like there's so much uncertainty if what you're really betting for like it is a gamble in itself, really, I think. If we stay, we know what we're going to get. We know what it is. Britain is a great place to live, I think. I mean, I live here, but I don't know. I mean, in my opinion, I guess.

I do. I love living in Britain. I think it's a great country. And I don't see why we should let Nigel fucking Farage run the show. He's a c***. Put that on my gravestone. Well, don't say that to Lewis, because Lewis obviously wants to, like, blast him. True.

I'm a, yeah, I like his. I like his tushy, like, so much. I think about it. I like his tush. I think about it all the time. I love his cute little tweed-covered tushy. He's got a nice tush the time cute little tweed covered tushy he's got a nice tushy he's got the best tushy you know what i love a tushy a nigel nigel farage she's got a great tushy i might not be able to count toothpicks but that's one fine tushy i've seen stop it if

farage and trump formed the party they could be team Team Frump. That'd be nice, yeah. It's better than hump or thrillery. Frump. Frump, hump, or Trump. What's it going to be? There was his hotels. Everything has Trump on it. The carpets. You get a bottle of wine.

It has Trump written on it in massive letters. The doors. You go light on your bed. Maybe if he gets in, he'll just paint the White House gold and put his name about it. We'll call it the Trump House. Trump, call it the Trump States of Trump Trumpa Trump. Trumpa Trumpa. Yeah, pretty much. And everybody's got to play trumpets everywhere they go.

That's how we talk now, with a trumpet. There was a fantastic Photoshop of Donald Trump as if he hadn't done all the weird shit to his hair. Because he's quite an old man. Yeah. And if he'd actually sort of had natural hair, you know, like balding and sort of losing his hair what he would look like man he looked super creepy unelectable like um like vince cable kind of slightly evil slightly kind of creepy vince cable didn't help because he held his hands in that kind of mr burns like he's up to something all the time yeah Yeah. So anyway. Which is weird. The elderly run the world.

50 and 60 year old people run the planet. And yet we're kind of a feared of age. We should give it all to the kids. Let my daughters run the planet. They'd be great. Yeah. Yeah. God.

Can you imagine how much candy we'd be able to just eat at all times? Jesus. Forget about it. Even more so than we can now. Be nuts. Ice cream for everyone. All the time. We're abolishing breakfast, lunch, and dinner

and replacing it with just ice cream. Your choice. All the flavors you can ever imagine. But yeah, so that's the hot news this week. I mean, it's a topic that the three of us, I don't think really give that much of a shit about. You're wrong. I really want it's a topic that the three of us, I don't think, really give that much of a shit about. You're wrong. I really want it to be Romain.

I think it's quite exciting. I went into the booth. It's exciting enough, but I'm going to be happy when it's all over and we can just talk about something different. Like, everybody is just obsessed with it right now. But you can always just fuck off to Canada, Sips. I mean, you could just go to Maui, which is like a really cool country to live in. I'm stuck in this hellhole. It's small.

It's got a small population, you know, pretty laid back. Everybody just wants to like, you know, build an igloo and fucking shave their polar bear or whatever. You know, it's nice. It's a nice place to live. I haven't lived there for like 15 years. So maybe it's changed a bit but I don't know

my friend my friend moved to the west coast what is that what is that Vancouver British Columbia it looks beautiful like I

I didn't get a chance to go there but we flew into it last time I went to Seattle so the last year oh yeah it's very it's like I think Vancouver to Seattle

is like maybe like 200 miles or something it's literally like a 40-minute flight. And when we flew out, you can see, obviously, the beautiful harbor and everything like that. That whole Northwest is just gorgeous. Everyone thinks the West Coast is California,

but the Northwest is absolutely gorgeous. Yeah, it's very gray, though. I mean, it's a bit like the UK in the sense that it rains a lot. It's very gray and sort of a little bit colder and stuff but it is a very nice part of the world for sure well like the rockies and stuff are really fucking nice up like around there if you go like if you if you set off from vancouver and you go to like bamf or something and you drive or take a bus through through the rockies it's really nice you can go on a train that has like a glass roof so you can

just look up the whole time and look at the rain and stuff yeah yeah watch the rain fall down but not go on you because you're inside a train because around seattle you've got like that volcano mount rainier which is right there and it's huge and it has like its own so like all these clouds kind of flowing off it and i don't know we don't have anything like that in the uk like dramatic super dramatic you feel like you're like you know it's as close as you're going to get to mordor when you're out there like the big imposing yeah mountain and yeah i mean that's the thing you know this, this is Earth. It's not Middle Earth. So we don't have like things. What's up with these? Oh, look at this.

So Mrs. F had a thing at her work conference where you could design your own Adidas trainers as part of the thing. So she designed a trainer. It's a nice white trainer, something like that. And on the back, it says Mrs. Flax. Nice. That is amazing. That's pretty cool. You sell out.

Unbelievable. No, that's beautiful. Wowee. She's got Mrs. Flax shoes. Are they like neon pink? No, no, no. It's just a white shoe and then the sole underneath is kind of a luminous yellow and then it says Mrs. Flax on the back. That's awesome. That's pretty cool. Where's mine that say Mr. Flax? What's this? What did you get me? She got me a present. She got me some, what is that? Eau de toilette. Eau de toilette. Original penguin.

Original penguin eau de toilette. I can smell like a penguin all day. The penguin out of Batman. The penguin, yeah. Smell. Smell like Danny DeVito. Let's do a live. That's an eau de.

Eau de DeVito. Like smell test. Eau de Vito life smell test oh devito oh my god anyway spray it on your wrist and then tell us i'm doing that tell us what you can what you can what's in the air take a take a real big sniff yeah you know what the problem is i have a terrible sense of smell i always have right i got but i was hit on the head as a? I have a terrible sense of smell. I always have had. Right. I was hit on the head as a child and I lost my sense of smell. If I was a super villain that would be my Genesis story.

You'd be like, oh god. Are you like sniffing it massively and you can't smell anything? I can vaguely smell that there is a scent of some kind on my arm, but I can't actually... I can't detect anything about it. I can't smell flowers either. People are like, oh, can you smell these beautiful flowers? I smell them and I just can't actually like there's no i can't detect anything about i can't smell flowers either people like oh can you smell these beautiful flowers i smell them and i just can't smell man you know what you're missing out i smelled a flower the other day and holy shit it's in it's incredible how nice they smell like yeah no it isn't what you just said it is though it's one of those things you just take for granted you're like i've smelled like 20 flowers fuck i don't care but actually take time to smell one they smell amazing it's incredible like the the odor i don't know how it it happens how does like a thing produce that nice smell it's crazy just been coming

at old folks home oh doris did you smell that lovely flower the other day? Oh, flowers, they really do smell lovely, don't they? Oh, my goodness me. Fucking pee flax here. Oh, okay, Mr. Young Cutting Edge. What have you done that's been really exciting recently? Got any stories? I just love how suddenly you woke up out of this stupid bus. Would you take the bus to the office the other day or something?

That was the most passionate thing you've said for like three weeks, Sips. Jesus. So tell me more about this flower. Where did you find it? That's it. That's all I got to say. When we were walking, Sips. Jesus. So tell me more about this flower. Where did you find it? That's it. That's all I got to say. When we were walking, there was a flower.

I was like, I'm going to fucking smell that thing. And I did. And holy shit, it blew my mind. I've got this sort of idea in my head of like rainbows and like all sparkly stuff happens.

It wasn't even. It wasn't even like that. Nice of a day. Prancing along the street. And then a pony came down the road and said, Hey, Sips, would you like to ride me into the sunset? And you got on the pony.

And I sniffed him. And it took you on a magical journey through ice cream lollipop cookie land. Well, okay. Well, I was just saying that I smelled a flower. But, I mean, if you want to take it to that extreme. No, I just, I was walking by a flower. Just rubbing it in. It was really pink.

What do you mean you're walking by a flower? How is that an unusual statement, Lewis? I know, Jesus. Like he's walking by and there's a flower. That's like a daily occurrence. You're walking along, there's a flower and you smell it. It's something out of Alice in Wonderland. Do you shun the natural world?

You're trying to lecture us on Zen and everything. I feel like I'm at a point in my own inner peace where I am noticing flowers now. That's exactly what it feels like. It feels like you're just in this really happy place. You're walking along. You see a flower. You see a flower. You know, I've just seen something that...

You know what? The world has provided me with this natural beauty. And I'm thinking to myself, you know what? I'm going to sniff that motherfucker. And I did. And I did. I went right up to what? I'm going to sniff that motherfucker. And I did. And I did. I went right up to it and I gave it a good old sniff. And holy shit, I recommend it, okay?

Don't take flowers for granted if you're listening to this right now. If you see a flower, go smell that shit because it smells good, okay? They smell crazy. Like you can see why people like invented perfume and stuff like that because they smell naturally just amazing. It's incredible. It's incredible. That is wonderful.

I need to take a break. I am just so overwhelmed. No, honestly, though, it was nice. It wasn't like a particularly nice day. A unicorn didn't come down and have sex with me or anything like that. It was just a normal day. I was walking by. There was like a bush and there was like a, I guess it was a rose bush,

but there was one rose and it just stuck out because it was like bright, bright pink. And I was like, I'm going to smell it. And I did. It was just perfectly. You were like a bee. Next time I see one, you bet your ass I'm going to be smelling it. Yeah. Careful. So, yeah, I can't smell them thanks you're agnostic agnostic i think it's called anosmia but i could be wrong but i can smell things but not all things so my range of smelling

must be like you know the way old people can't hear high-pitched sounds and low-frequency sounds they're sort of their range of hearing sure yes do you smell stuff like like through like almost like taste sort of would you say like if i'm cooking i can smell cooking and i can recognize those smells tastes you know like through smell if somebody farts in your face but you do that if you do that thing with your nose where like you don't physically pinch your nose to block it but you know you can sort of like yeah internally like block your nose sort of thing you know what i mean if you do that sometimes you can still almost like taste the fart like if it's really potent well it should i mean if you think about it maybe it's particles of poop like when you fart there's there's particles of poop floating through the air and some of them

i know but most of them just get caught up in like the fabric of your jeans and that's not quite what it is it's like sulfur compounds and things like this that are gaseous that are released if you fart in someone's eye you'll give them pink eye so well but it's poop particles whatever yeah but what if you're wearing jeans though because like the like with a high thread count as well you know i think everyone should wear a high thread count, especially in the butt area. So none of us get pink eye. I think that's the thing. I think if we're going to remain in the EU, there should be some sort of incentive for doing that.

And I think the EU should regulate. I think they should say, all right, jeans companies, we've had enough now. You need to up your thread count, especially around the the ass area because there are poop particles getting loose and they are giving people pink eye and they are going in their mouth so they can taste your farts and it's not on that would be great that'd be great 100 you got some people you got to cater for that niche kind of kink market though who do want that actually you know that's their thing you know well it's not a thing i think it's a social how how do you think you lost your sense of smell pflex because i always think that like smokers like i don't know if you if you ever did this but have you ever like smoked a cigarette in your nose have you ever like yeah yeah loads of times yeah yeah exactly and so that's

i reckon that's what's done it's no i think it was was when I got hit on the head as I was a kid. I have a scar on my head from where a bicycle fell on my head. And I think it fell on the smell part of my brain. That's my theory. That's our work in theory. The PFLAX is brain scientists. The little guys in my brain that try and figure stuff out. They've come up with that.

Did you actually notice that you couldn't smell following that incident? No, but my life up to that point. Quick, quick. We figured out the latest brain science. We've cracked it. My God, we've cracked it. When that bicycle hit the head, it completely took out the whole smell area. What are we going to do? That's my brain scientist.

Hey, Rocky, what's up, brain? You have to have, like, the sidekick thing too, right? You don't think it was anything to do with all those cigarettes we smoked through the nose for, like, ten years? No, no, no. It was definitely when we got hit on the head with a bicycle when we were a child. The nicotine department of the brain says it was definitely 100% not that. So let's keep smoking. Oh, shit.

Ben, do you ever blow smoke out of your nose yeah sure that shit hurts too doesn't it like it makes you go like watery eyed you get used to it maybe you're just used to it but you've killed off all of your do you miss actual cigarettes now that you vape full time no no i i mean it's kind of the the the coolness of them compared to vaping vaping is not cool like anyone that thinks vaping is cool is wrong. It's not cool. I like the sound it makes though. Like when we're playing games and stuff,

occasionally just in the background, I could hear like. The crackle. Yeah. Sexy. It does sound like you're sparking up a crack pipe or something. Such a sexy noise. I mean,

how long before a movie character tries to be all cool and there's just a vape pen slides up out of shot into their mouth and just like. I don't know. I think you and Doug can make it look pretty cool. You know, when we're sitting around, just you two are just surrounded in this big cloud of vape. Like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. I think you managed to pull it off.

You know, I think it's cooler than you think. I think it's because I have a base level of coolness that is unaffected by the vape you know i don't think it's so cool now because when i see like tom and adrian smoking their really dirty filthy roll-ups they're so they're so sort of grungy and pale and yellow teeth yellow fingernails you know compared to you and it stinks duncan who really it's not actually i think i think you know when you look down the table like i think the people who are vaping are kind of cooler than people who are smoking i don't know man i don't know maybe it's gonna change the vapes are looking more futuristic and but some of them do look fucking gay you can get those ones that look

like cigarettes though but they you know they're not the garbage you know i mean i think the problem is that that vaping has sort of it's decided that it's a subculture when it's actually just smoking so now you've got like competitive vaping and people who like walk around seriously they get into a ring and they try and blow the biggest cloud of smoke that they can and there's some people like if you get people who are all nerdy about it they're talking about they're talking about it in ways that are kind of like geez would you just shut up and just relax it's just we shouldn't really be glamorizing vaping by the way you just did lewis you just said it was cool you're the one glamorizing it cigarettes but i think that you and duncan and also shin have actually said to me quite a few

times that vaping actually does like they think it like decreases their lung capacity. Shin has definitely noticed his fitness dropping after doing vaping and stuff and feeling like less able to like do cardio. So I don't think that it is good for you in any way, shape or form. I don't think anyone's saying it's good for you. I did lose a lot of weight when I started vaping. Well, that's because nicotine is but i didn't want to chew the gum because i just i didn't want to walk around chewing gum all the time no and i kind of liked i missed smoking so it worked for me but i lost like 30 pounds when i started vaping yeah i noticed

actually because i sort of met you before you started vaping too much i think yeah um and then you started vaping a lot yeah and i've done of course lately you came by and you you definitely definitely lost some i think you might have lost a bit of muscle too though you were definitely less muscular last time i just never move ah it's like that guy it's like the guy who only eats big macs and you're like well that guy should be really fat but he's he's really skinny and it's because he's like on the verge of dying so but i don't think that's you flex no i think you're fine all right i think you look great thanks buddy nicely yes good given that allows you to what we were doing the live stream those those hot ladies that were out of me on twitter so they definitely think i'm hot and of course

mrs f hasn't left me yet so that's in the plus column as well everything's coming up feet flex fuck you know you smelled a flower a couple of days ago yeah smelled a flower feeling good everything is fucking hunky dory isn't it at the moment fucking hunky dory holy shit until we leave the EU

and then everything's on fire everything goes on fire everything will spontaneously catch fire. We'll find out what's going to happen. When will we know? Like, I'm excited now. I assume the votes don't close till 10.

And then it usually happens. They'll come pouring in. For an election, there's usually an exit poll, but I don't think there's an exit poll in a referendum. So I think we'll probably know by tomorrow morning. Yeah. Usually. They'll do their all-night thing

where they all just sit around looking haggard and suggesting things and going live to places. And this is my problem with news reporting now is they don't report the news after it's happened. No. They're obsessed with reporting it continually, from start to finish, and then having a massive wrap-up show and talking about it for weeks afterwards. Because they've got to fill so many hours of news.

Yeah, yeah. It used to be, here's the news. It's half an hour long. We're going to tell you all the important shit that's happened, now that it's happened. But now it's like, no, no, no. As it's breaking, we're going to stay with this story, this story as it unravel it unravels and we're gonna go and interview people and ship all our millions of journalists here there and everywhere to bring you this vital news about something it's just they really scrape the barrel sometimes like with the with the up to the minute stuff because they're just stammering a bit

because there's nothing to actually say because nobody's like talking to them or telling them what's going on or whatever. So they'll have like some really obscure view from like some weird vantage point that they're just about allowed to be at where you can't actually see anything that's going on. And then occasionally you'll like see a cop run by or something. It's like, oh, there's a cop here. You know, and then they'll show that three times in the next half an hour. We do have footage of police in the area. And also the whole way they talk changes. Like if you look at newsreaders, they all, especially reporters,

they all talk with the exact same cadence. So they do this thing where they will slow down and look at their papers. They'll look at the camera, look back at their papers, and we will be going live because the producers in the area are going, for Christ's sake, go to the outside broadcast. Don't mention that cop again.

It's been 15 times in the past three minutes. We're going to break. We're going to break. You're trying to talk while this is all happening. And then they're also being told, we're getting break and use it. There's a cockroach crawling up your leg. And there is a cockroach crawling up my leg as we speak. Let's go live now to my leg with reporter Steve Berenson.

They do like the slow talk thing, but then they sort of transition into the fast talk when the orders have been received sort of thing. So they'll be like and that will bring us nicely into the next part and then they just like fucking go off on one like talking really fast to like their guest or whatever outside jersey crown Jersey Crown Court, where a flower in the bed has been sniffed the centre of attention. Yeah, I sniffed it. It was great. I thought it smelled really nice.

Nature's gift to us, in a way, is the smell of flowers. My inner Zen is really thriving. I've got a boner just thinking about it. I brought my friend over. He couldn't fucking smell it what an idiot vapes all the time he's over there behind that cloud of smoke he had a bike accident

can't smell flowers anymore I didn't come here to be mocked guys fuck you no man I'm not mocking you tell us about this biking accident i was in a garage this is when i lived in new york and uh well you lived in new york yeah yeah till i till i was like eight so i grew up in queens really and then one of our neighbors like where we lived in the states it was

it was lovely actually it was the part of queens we were in wasn't like especially amazing it was jackson heights so it's kind of it's an okay area know, it's come up a bit on sort of, um, and then it's gone down a bit, but all the people that had money in Jackson Heights moved out to Flushing about 15, 20 years ago. So it's kind of changed. But anyway, where I grew up, um, all the houses on my sort of row, I guess there were about 20 of them. There was a driveway that ran along the back of all the houses and the other sort of opposite the houses. So you had the back of the house, the driveway, and then every house had a garage like behind it. So as a kid, I would go up and down this driveway and I knew all my neighbors and I'd go and catch like free biscuits and sweets

and things. And I'd go hang out with them. And because it was a different time, people had all this garden furniture out the back, and they'd sit out there in the weather, and they'd have barbecues and stuff like that. And it was great. I mean, I knew everybody. I can still remember whose house and who lived where. It was really, I think it was very important to me as a kid, being able to chat to all those people. And they were from all over the world as well. So it was really cool, this cool area. from all over the world as well so it was really cool this kind of you know this cool area and jimmy who was the irish guy that ran a uh computer sort of um programming thing from his basement we were in his garage one time messing about and he had a bicycle up on the wall and i touched it

and just hacking into the fbi or something and it fell off the rack on the wall and the forks on the front of the bicycle because it didn't have wheels on hit me right on the top of the head yeah and it was snowing at the time so there was like a foot of snow um and i'm walking back to the snow and there's blood falling from my head onto the snow and uh jimmy was like distraught he was like really upset and he was crying and everything like that because he thought it really hurt me and everything and um yeah my mom was like oh it'll be fine it's kind of like picking up an egg with a pair of chopsticks. That's what I'm imagining is happening to your head. What, my head? Yeah, so like the forks on the bones.

Oh, shit, of course you did. I just always assume you've been bald since the age of six. I do wonder if the bang on the head affected my hair. You know what I mean? Maybe, yeah. Maybe it was just like a catalyst for a lot of things in your life that you don't realise. It feels like you're blaming that lot of things in your life that you don't realize. It feels like you're blaming that bike collection for all the shit that's happened to you.

I'm really trash in bed as well. And I wonder if when that bike hit me, somehow, somehow part of my brain. I have real trouble getting a direction. That must have been the bike accident. I find it impossible to pleasure a woman. Maybe it was the bike. It was a bang on the head. I really like the smell of farts in my face.

It's the only thing I can smell now. I'm sure that's related. Hey, Kieran, you want to go out today to the pub? Nah, I got that bang on the head, didn't I, when I was seven. So I'm just going to stay in bed all day. You're on your way to the pub and you see somebody ride by on a bike. You get triggered. No, I got to go home, guys.

I got to go. Mr. Forsythe, you haven't paid your taxes for the last 10 years. I got a bang on the head, didn't I? When I was a kid. Yeah, it's a... Real bang right in the tax portion of the brain. Right in the tax portion. Yeah, I can't figure it out.

It's just beyond me. I've just had this aversion to paying tax ever since. I can't quite do it. I think that's a fairly common problem. Holy shit. What? A bang on the head. What have you guys been doing this week?

Have you guys been anywhere? Done anything? What's been up? Where were you last? I was with you for three days. Man, I smelled a flower. Holy shit. That's about it.

That's all I got. Oh, yeah. Me and P-Flex did this day of driving around tanks, which was pretty good, wasn't it, P-Flex?

Oh, yeah. Was that fun? It was fun. Yeah, it was good. More fun for them. I just stood around in the rain. You drove the tanks

just as much as we did. I drove a couple of tanks. This was a sponsored thing for World of Tanks that's right yeah so we got some remote control tanks and it was pretty fucking cool nice we uh drove them about and uh had a good time really i think we had a lot of extra stuff and fun it was something that i think that duncan a lot of these brand deals are things that we wanted to do but haven't had the money to do to some extent so you know we don't get bought like an airsoft tank a little crappy one and drove around the office for a bit uh it was fun and we were saying oh man we should really just go out and drive these around and fight them and blow up

stuff in real life and do some fun stuff and so um when it came along the world of tanks said hey do you have you got any ideas for a video? We were like, yes, let's buy all these really expensive, cool RC tanks and blow them up. So that's what we did. And it was really fun. They are so cool, the tank sips. They're pretty big. They're like the size of a cereal box, right?

I think I saw one when I was in Bristol last. I think Ben had one on his desk. Or Tom had one on his desk. Yeah, they're pretty big. They're awesome. And when you turn, like on the good, like some of them have better remote controls than the others so on the good ones you push the engine button and it goes like that like someone's starting an engine oh nice and then smoke comes out of the engine exhaust at the back yeah yeah and it's got like

machine gun noises you can shoot bbs and the tank actually rocks backwards when it shoots as if it's firing like a that's awesome yeah it shoots as if it's firing like a that's awesome yeah it's really cool it's really good they've got proper tracks all those little details are important though right because enthusiasts are like all over that shit oh yeah and i was told off though for shooting um a cameraman quite a lot yeah you showed him a lot like tom was angry because tom's a big guy and he guy, and he's from farm stock, so you wouldn't mess with him. He'll run you through with something.

Don't make me get the axe, Lewis. I'll run you through. Yeah, so that's what we did. And then yesterday, no, Tuesday you stayed here, didn't you? You recorded some other stuff, which we're not going to talk about just in case it doesn't actually happen. It was a cool concept, and it is related to this channel, actually, as well. You might see it on the Yodpod channel or on the Yodpod feed.

Right. So, yeah, it's interesting, Sips. But, yeah, we'll let you know more about that next week if it actually comes out. Okay. We'll talk about it. Yeah, it's cool. What have you been doing, Sips? Anything happening?

Besides smelling flowers, what have I been doing? I've been playing. Prancing through fields. Yeah, prancing through fields. have i been doing um i've been playing prancing through fields prancing through fields i've been doing that a lot um i've just been admiring nature and just you know just just working on my inner peace you know day by day i'm getting rescue rescuing kids do you think the zen episode that we did has has gradually rubbed off on you in some way i don't know i think like when i was eight i had this incident where a bike fell on me because you were totally bald at that point yeah and then i was just like the fork just ever since then i've just felt compelled to sniff

flowers and work on my inner peace i wonder if what actually happened sips was that we both had a bicycle fall on our head and like some kind of quantum leap thing yeah our lives at that point diverged so that you get to enjoy the flowers and i don't because you were both in america yeah it might start that's right i mean i wasn't technically in america oh but um north america is is north america. You were split like that. We're on the same continent. Separated at birth. Yeah. What year was it when you were eight?

1988. Okay, so I was 1984. All right. So you got hit on the head when you were four. That's the only way this works. Yeah, yeah. And of course, your head isn't fully developed at that age. It's still like soft in part.

So it's quite possible that... Mushed right into my brain. And of course, your head isn't fully developed at that age. It's still like soft in part. So it's quite possible. Mushed right into my brain. Mushed. Yeah. Mushed all the important sort of receptors and stuff. And that's how. Maybe that's why I hate the Tour de France so much. I wonder if it all goes back to that.

Do you actually hate the Tour de France? Oh, I hate it. It's kind of boring, eh? So boring. Fucking Tour de France sucks. Who likes the Tour de France? My mother-in-law. No one. Well, there you go go that's one person uh my father-in-law does as well he's french though so the entirety of france yeah french the french love it france do not like the tour they fucking do are

you crazy literally called the tour de france like it's like the biggest patriotism in france is crazy like you just have to say the word France and in like the title of something you're doing, like, dogging in France and like the whole nation's like, dogging, wow, I love dogging. Like, they fucking... I love it. Oh, shit.

So you're always carrying on in France, the tournament. You watched any of the games, P-Flex? Because you'd watched all of them up till yeah I've watched all of them until I obviously you know when I came down we were doing stuff

so I missed some of the but yeah but it's okay but I watched the games last night and then sorry I broke your perfect game watching record they were they were okay games

but they weren't like the last night was really the last couple of nights have been fantastic for the football actually really really good some great games great results and a lot of nights have been fantastic for the football actually, really really good, some great games, great

results and a lot of teams have gone through like Ireland, 85th minute winner against Italy, huge huge game Iceland, like 92nd minute winner against Austria, so they went through the next round, Hungary and Portugal 3-3, it was like the game of the tournament Croatia beat Spain

it's just been brilliant, Northern Ireland went through, they managed to just get, they only lost one nil to Germany. So they went through. It should be brilliant. I heard Iceland had got through to the last 16. Yeah, they did. They were, it's amazing.

A country of 300,000 people, which is like more, about the same amount of people living in Bristol. You know, it's like a, like a Bristol city. There's 300,000 people living in Bristol? Jeez. Yeah.

It's almost identical to the population of Leicester. And 10% of them are in France the whole country 10% of the entire population has gone to France to watch the tournament it's incredible jeez

you're kidding me no 10% of the population of Iceland is now in France yeah fucking what is the island

hey they gotta root for their boys yeah they have and they're going nuts they've got a great chant where they sort of who's running everything in iceland if 10 of the population are on a fucking holiday the other 90 percent i mean it's just it's eve online and the servers just run themselves i'd love to be part of a country that like half of it fucking goes on

holiday to like watch the thing that's so cool yeah oh they love it they can just do it remotely they can they can do the server admin remotely from their mobile phones now so they're fine they run it the same way that they run the island in lost you know you just have to press that button every time yeah the counter somebody just has to log in and press a button so um done we watched me and pflex watch the england slovakia game in the pub okay right um just around the corner yeah and it reminded me of watching football with my dad a little bit because obviously pflax is dad he sort of has the dad mannerisms now i guess he's about the same age as my dad might have been when i was a little kid um i don't know it just felt very sort of did you do that thing where like because you don't normally go to the pub to

watch football you cheered at an inappropriate time and all of like the hardened pub goers were like sit down turtleneck we're trying to watch our fucking game it was a little bit like who let this nerd in here it was a little bit like that i think people go to the pub when football's on to talk to other people about football because they haven't got anyone else at home or whatever. So it tends to be people in there who want to talk to you about this game and say things about it. But actually, it wasn't too bad, was it, P-Fact? No.

I mean, I've been in some pubs where there's been football on and it's just the worst. Like people feel, I think a lot of people that don't really understand football but maybe watch it in the pub a lot think that watching in the pub it like that they're somehow part of an experience or that they're shouting of this is shit hodgson change something is actually gonna matter like they'll shout something out like that and you think what's like you're you just come to shout with the tv with other people like you're not actually enjoying this you're just shouting at the tv and i guess looking for some kind of group agreement i don't know there's a different experience to be had there right it's

like going to cinema like i remember watching um kill bill on the first night it came out on the showing. And the cinema was absolutely packed. There was not a seat free. And the atmosphere watching that movie was amazing. It was so strange. The audience response and just the way everyone behaved and the scaredy bits. Everyone was suddenly all quiet. It was really a different experience watching it

with a big group of people. I think the pub is obviously too different right if you're sitting at home with your dad and you're like six or seven years old and he's like oh god yeah come on we're just passing around just kicking it around you know it's different to being in a pub full of rowdy english fans i don't know yeah it's it's You've got to experience these things, right? You've got to do... Life is about little things. Like, even voting today, man, that was just a little different experience. Something that I haven't done before.

You've never voted before? Well, I have, but not in Bristol, not for a referendum, not for a lot of different things. I went into this voting place. Oh, so you've already voted? There was no one in there, right? It was literally me. There was one guy. I was like, hey, is this, do I vote here? He's like, yep.

Who are you? I'm like, I've got a card. Well, I'm Louis Bridley of the Yogscast. Come in, we have a special golden leaf for you. I'm 36 years old. I make $45,000 a year and I'm voting Brexit. This place stinks. I just told him my life story.

Oh, fuck me. I don't know, it was nice. Life is sometimes a little bit about the differences. Your brain doesn't remember the repetitive stuff, so you should always challenge yourself to do something different and get out of your comfort zone.

Don't be scared. Go watch football in the pub not be scared because go vote go watch football in the pub sniff a flower go watch football in the pub if you've never watched a bike accident go watch an english game in a pub and skin a game of pub and see what it's like it's horrible by the way get out there and live for christ's sake geez yeah god damn it sniff a flower fucking just fucking do it fucking do it fucking sniff a fucking... Just fucking do it. Just fucking do it. Fucking sniff a flower. Come on. Sorry. It's okay. That's a hallmark of a good motivational speaker, though. You just have to start yelling and really get people all fired up.

Yeah. I've been playing lots of Hearts of Iron recently. I know Flack says as well. We started a game the other day, the three of us, which is pretty fun. Looking forward to playing more of that today if we get a chance. the game the other day the three of us which is pretty fun looking forward to playing more of that today if you get a chance um and um you know it's it's all about world war ii and you know there's obviously some big players in world war ii like famous sort of uh people uh that were involved in and around world war ii or whatever including hitler and um so i read about hitler a little bit for whatever reason and um turns out he was like a really excellent um public speaker and he had like he employed like these things in

his public speaking where at the time like not many people did like you know like the psychological side of it um and people thought that he was able to brainwash crowds and stuff. Wow. Do you think you could do that, Lewis, with your live your life speech? Oh, no. It's tough, right? You've got to give credit to the Nazis, right? Wow. We're talking about public speaking. They were cool, right? Right.

Black uniforms, the style, the architecture. This took a turn I wasn't expecting. It's the Brindley effect. Carry on. Go on. What are you going to say about the Nazis? Cool uniforms. Yeah.

I mean, you've got to understand that, you know, you have to be, he had some charisma, didn't he? Or else he wouldn't have been able to brainwash an entire nation. The thing is, if you watch his speeches from our perspective now, he looks mental, right? He looks absolutely mental. And the things that he said were clearly mental as well. Like not even, you know, nowadays, like, you know,

people have to say these really clever things, you know, that like resonate deep with people. But like the stuff he was saying at the time, and maybe it was just a sign of the time, was just very simple. It was like, it was like storybook kind of shit, you know,

it was like, this is our enemy and we will crush them. And guess what? When I say crush them, literally, that's what I mean. And that's like the speech, but people like lapped it up.

They're like, wow. Cause I guess nobody really did that up to that point. Like if you think about politics up to that point they must have just gone up and said hello everything's fine and everyone applauded politely and that was the end of it monarchy so the king was just like i don't even have to tell you what we're doing i am the king and i'm still here wave wave wave give me your money what's up and hitler goes in and goes and starts shouting a lot and waving his hand around and gesticulating wildly and they're like wow this is a whole new way of speaking publicly that we've never really seen much of

yeah so i mean it was highly effective at the time and there was like accounts of you know like the hitler youth one one member of the hitler youth um saying that he just had this way about him or this energy or stage presence or something. I don't know. But apparently by the end of it, all these kids are like tears streaming down their faces and they're doing the fucking hail Hitler's like there's no tomorrow and stuff. And you just think how the hell,

like that's crazy. But I guess at the time they needed that. World War II is really, really interesting era of history. And it's filled with absolute tragedy, really. So many people died. There were so many of these governments that just wanted to snap up the land. You know, everyone was looking to poach land from someone.

You know, Russia wanted a little bit of Romania, a little bit of Finland. They wanted a little bit of Poland. You know, Italy wanted little bits of the areas around them. Everyone in Spain, you know, were messing around wanting bits and bobs of this and that. Fascism was just so popular at the time as well. Germany wanted a bit of France, a bit of this. And it was all very... It was a lot of tension and a lot of fascism was a big thing.

You know what, I think a lot of it was the fact that it wasn't that many generations after you know all the sort of napoleonic era and all those kind of wars and a lot of stuff was historically this shitty bit of farmland should belong to us and the people there kind of look like us and kind of talk like us so we should get that back and i think on the i think on the german side as well there was a lot of bitterness over world war oh yeah yeah yeah and there was a lot of things that they viewed as being a bit unjust following World War I. And rightly so in many cases. Yeah, no, the Treaty of Versailles,

they said at the time, this isn't a peace, declaration of peace. This is like a declaration for war or something. Because, I mean, they knew that it was just going to postpone it. And that's why the French had the biggest fucking army in the world at that time. It was fucking huge.

And then, you know, it was like, I think the problem was that they knew the war was coming but everyone was kind of hoping it wouldn't and they sort of kept trying to appease hitler and saying well maybe if we just let him you know give him a bit of poland or maybe if we just let him nick big chunks of czechoslovakia everything will be fine and and it wasn't it was just yeah i mean i think what was interesting for me about it is that is it was the last era when you could have a war that wouldn't just end the planet you know like you can have a war of that size involving that many countries and the entire world and it wouldn't just end up as a molten slag of lava right yeah i mean nowadays it wouldn't be you know world war one that trench warfare and it was very much you wouldn't be, you know, World War I, trench warfare, and it was very much, you know, centered around, you know, people sitting in a trench and then repeatedly sort of trying to charge another trench.

Tactics hadn't kept up with technology, basically. But World War II was a bit more refined in that, you know, tanks and planes and ships played a bigger part obviously but it was still very much land battles you know there was still massive amounts of troops marching around um claiming sort of territory and and this and that like a lot of like the the big big battles were were land-based battles involving like you know regiments and regiments of troops and stuff but nowadays obviously that that wouldn't be the case it would just be drones bombing people remotely

from somebody's basement so if you put that many troops in the field they'd just get nuked or just they just get bombed to shit it would be well what's the point i mean whereas back then the planes had to fly slowly overhead and you know you didn't have all right you didn't have the kind of ground-to-air missiles and all that kind of stuff but i think that i remember reading that if there was a war like modern war with all the technology we've got that the life expectancy of like the average soldier would be like a minute because the moment the battle starts it would just be like everybody just drops everything and it's like okay well gg well that's what they said about world war ii the average lifespan of a tank in world war ii was three minutes um once the fight

started in combat not just once it rolled off the production line that would be a problem we should stop making these things we can't even get these things out the front door just keep blowing up what the hell oh man yeah it's interesting it's it's such a huge conflict though that there's always something new to read about honestly it's crazy it's so cool like well the best things i like about world war ii is that world war ii was won with british intelligence american steel and russian blood so many people died so many r Russians died. I think Hitler... I think, honestly... It's horrible to think about the numbers. There's a really good video that came out a while ago,

a sort of demographic thing, of just how many people died in World War II and how many of them were Russians. I think all told, civilian and military, across the world, it's like 50 million or something. I think it was 60. It's about 60 million. It's crazy

i mean people think world war ii you know was won by you know the uk and and france and america whereas really it was kind of won by russia just being unbelievably cruel to their people it was it was stalin willing to go to the most extreme lengths to sacrifice a generation of russian yeah men yeah to you know an un a holy amount the one thing that hitler failed to do really was that he underestimated the cruelty of stalin and you know what you know what else they underestimated was the the the willingness of the russian people to to fight like that like yeah it wasn't just it's not like him just saying let's do this but everybody doing it because i mean one there are a number of things that the germans found out when they they started the eastern front

they won really quickly and they like hitler's plan was we'll just live off the land like they literally thought they could just live off the land. Yeah. Like Russia was meant to be like their granary. Yeah. And they just burnt it all. And then every time they caught up to some Russians and surrounded them, instead of just giving up like the French did because they were like defeatist, the Russians are like, we will fight till we have literally out of bullets and then we'll just fight with our hands. Yeah. I mean, Russia had the buddy system too, right? They didn't even have the equipment.

It was like one gun for two guys like when when when one guy died the other guy would just pick up his gun and carry on sort of thing like it's yeah a lot of people were just given a clip of ammo yeah good luck just throw these bullets drop them from tall buildings and they gave them bicycles with no wheels on the front forks hit him in the head. Get him in the smells. I remember talking about like body system. I read a little bit about the PALS battalions in World War I.

Yeah. So this was when basically it was one of these ideas that Kitchener had in World War I to get conscript people. It was that what you do

is you sign up with all of your PALS. And so, you know, I think one of the first ones that formed was actually the London Stockbrokers Battalion, for example. And there were a bunch of them formed, like, mostly out of local towns or local schools.

And what happened was when some of them went over the top in the trenches on some of these big battles like Ypres, they just got completely wiped out. And, you know, the entire male population of these towns was was wiped out and that's why now you know when you join up when you sign up to the army or whenever whatever you get sort of randomly assigned to a regiment so you might not be from middlesex but you'd get assigned to the middlesex regiment yeah yeah because if you all get assigned together then and then your your regiment gets wiped out or whatever you're not gonna like totally there's just one town yeah yeah that's crazy but i i was reading as well that apparently like a lot of

the the downfall of of germany in world war ii was was hitler was just so unwell in the end and he was just making these terrible fucking military decisions like he had all these people like top brass that were making these decisions to like um you know um carry on through to like moscow and stuff like that and and hitler would just override them and be like no no stop here and do this instead and then they would just lose like tons of their fucking army and everything and in the end it just it was just like these huge defeats started piling up and that was it sort of thing but he wouldn't he wouldn't give them uh winter gear because he said now if we give them winter gear they'll settle down for the winter we've got to give them no winter gear so

they're motivated to fight and then they'll win quicker stuff like that but apparently but apparently he was like on like all sorts of medication and and drugs and everything and like a lot of people, like historians, sort of think that he was just so fucking crazy in the end that he just didn't know what he was doing. He was like, if you put Michael Jackson in charge of a massive army. Very charismatic guy, you know, great singer. But when it comes to tactics, he's left wanting.

Yeah, well, look at Neverland. Let's just walk backwards boys. What I want to say is when we play games like Civ and Hearts of Iron and things like this and Stellaris 2, the only F4X game where you are sacrificing millions of men. It's strange how

detached you get from that when we play it. I think that's similar to how these generals and these monarchs are in their palaces the numbers become meaningless to you after a while yeah i mean i have no problem sending five submarines into an american fleet of like 200 ships because i'm just like whatever we've got to something's got to give here but you know obviously when you when you get down to it a bunch of bunch of guys from London are all crewing that submarine. And when that thing goes down, well, you know, their whole town. So, we're getting through this podcast.

It's great. I don't think we should talk too much about World War II. But if you guys love World War II, like we do, you know, you should just read about it on Wikipedia all day. Yeah, it's fascinating. It's really, like, interesting books about it. And so, it's a really was really like interesting books about it and so i've said it's a really it's it's a really complex interesting sort of slice of history but there's a lot of like really interesting stuff that happened yeah no not really not in the grand

scheme of things no i mean my my mom was born in 1944 and her like my her her father so my grandfather on on her side in fact all my grandparents and all my wife's grandparents all of our grandparents fought in one way or the other in world war ii so it's that recent it's just it's insane to think about it but yeah there's pictures of my grandfather training up he's got like a rifle and everything like that and he was in the air force and he was shot down he was canadian he was in the canadian air force shot down over france and had to escape he must have been like the only guy because that the air force is so small i mean he goes yeah it was just him they shot him down they're like we've defeated the canadian force he's like i gotta get out of here so he was like being chased by germans with dogs and stuff and yeah he managed to get to the

resistance and what people don't like think about the resistance has been this sort of heroic band that saved everybody well a lot of the time they were like what are we going to do with this guy like well he's kind of a liability so we'll kill him but he luckily they said no no we'll get you out but he was worried that they were going to kill him because they do that sometimes rather than yeah you know have this guy get captured or tortured and give up their position they were like we can't get you out but equally you're not french so you're not going to be like you know you're not going to resist to the end and say i will never tell you where the secret base is you just say if once they start pulling out your fingernails you say oh they're in the cafe and they'll go oh the cafe why didn't we see

that coming they're in the flipping cafe so yeah so he was able to get out luckily and and then of course you know have my my dad and and then me nice it's pretty clutch that's pretty pretty clutch it could have been granddad could have gone either way i think like um you know when you you when you watch footage or or you watch documentaries about world war ii and they talk about you know some of the big battles and and stuff like the way that the way that it's recounted and the way that it's portrayed is always in in a certain way obviously but they they almost make it seem like everybody involved just knew exactly what the fuck they were doing and like i don't think that that's the case in war in general like i mean if you take take for instance nowadays we have all this technology and everything and

still you know like in more recent conflicts there's been tons of friendly fire incidents there's been miscommunication there's been all sorts of shit imagine how much of that must have happened back then you know like when there wasn't the technology took a long time for orders to come through or for people to like know what to do and stuff like it must have been as a soldier like on the front line i bet you i'd say like 95 of the time you just didn't know what the fuck was happening you're probably so scared probably just like trying not to get killed you probably didn't know where you were being shot from half the time and stuff it's like it's kind of a miracle that like you know things turned out the way that they did and you know that we're not all fucking i don't know still living friendly fire accounts like for about sometimes about 10 percent

of deaths in battle because it's because it's difficult to tell who's on each side you know yeah yeah yeah i like it's not it's not an accurate comparison but like if you've ever been like paintballing or like airsofting or whatever before like you don't know who the fuck is on your team half the time like you're assuming the people behind you are on your team but that may not be the case so like it must be so like confusing and it must just add like an like another layer of you know uncertainty and fear on top of like the many others that are they're already there not to mention if you're a fire and artillery i mean they didn't have the kind of gps stuff that we have now oh yeah it was all like trigonometry right like they just like

sort of and you're in a plane you'd fly you don't have any of that heat seeking stuff you just see some some smoke from maybe a vehicle and some dudes running about and they're wearing very similar uniforms to your guys you're like let's take a chance they might be bad guys they only have the notion of firing in that direction because some dudes literally ran over there to check for them like an hour before as well you know it's like or or if they were lucky maybe a plane spotted something but you know what i mean like unbelievable it's it's kind of nuts like i i don't know like when i'm reading like a lot of stuff about world war ii i think about that often like i it's just it's just it's just crazy to think that people manage

to do something anything yeah yeah or much of anything yeah with a lot of friendly fire stuff oh that's i know a little bit about some of this because um there was there was so many there was one particular one i seem to remember where uh there was some concentration camp survivors i think like about sort of 5 000 concentration camp survivors and some other prisoners of war were actually, a lot of friendly fire happened by the Air Force and the Luftwaffe, because I think it was much more difficult on planes to know where you were.

Yeah, yeah. And so a lot of the time they were bombing the wrong city sometimes, they would bomb, the anti-aircraft guns would shoot down the wrong planes, and I think that they ended up bombing, I think a lot of concentration camp survivors were killed, about 5,000 when the RAF bombed some down the wrong planes um and i think that they ended up bombing i think a lot of concentration camp survivors were killed about 5 000 in when the raf bombed some of the wrong wrong boats which is a really a bad way to go i think crikey if you've managed to survive

the holocaust only to get killed by friendly fire yeah there's a lot of doesn't get much worse than that there's so much tragedy there's a there's a couple of really good sort of like anti-war books uh and not not like from a propaganda point of view but it's you know it's like people who have um you know either been in combat or or in a war before who are sort of recounting through a story um some part of of war like like catch 22 i don't know if you ever read that but it's like it's a very sort of like you know wars is crazy and it's not something that should be looked back on as being cool or anything like that. Like, and all the characters are nuts and insane and nobody knows what they're doing. And everybody's like so scared of doing anything and dreading like their next orders and stuff.

It's an excellent book. If you've never read Catch-22, it's totally worth reading. There's more as well, but Catch- 22 definitely like sort of comes to mind you know i do kind of wonder when we talk about um world war ii we're always talking about oh they should have done this like obviously with hindsight obviously that is easy but even then people talk about what should have happened and what should have been done i think there's gonna be a lot of arguments against the stuff we say too right i think like we are not of course not historians we're just passionate we're just people who i think we just have a lot of interesting just played a lot of hearts of iron four recently so it's topical for us and so yeah i mean it is a really interesting period of history

um and man's they're like one of the things i know another thing that people always sort of criticize old neville chamberlain, right? And they say, oh, you know, he tried to appease Hitler and all this stuff. But I read a thing that said that actually, you know, while he was trying to appease Hitler and this, he was actually, like, mobilising the country, you know, in preparation for war. And he was almost, like, just using it as a delaying tactic.

And then when Churchill took over as wartime prime minister he was still doing all the civilian prime ministering and was actually a real integral part of the war and i think people give sometimes give chamberlain a bit of a bad rep but apparently he was a good man good for him yeah good old nev good for him always always liked yeah churchill got all the glory but you know fucking somebody had to like somebody had to keep the keep the power on at home and that was nev doing it by himself literally attached wires to his head on he was on a bicycle sacrificed himself for britain oh shit so have you guys played any other games this week i've been playing prison architect a lot yeah i saw your series i've been recording it and playing it in my spare time i've been

playing a bit of that um overwatch i've stopped playing now i've just sort of gravitated away from it as as you do with games sometimes i was i was like excited enough to play it when it came out but it's it's very sort of samey after a while and i just sort of there's other stuff coming out so i picked that up instead but yeah hearts of iron four and um and prison architect have been my my big ones recently for sure i've actually been playing um quite a bit of uh overwatch um with with uh some of the the subs that i know from from my channel um so we've got enough people now that we can have like a regular in-house. Oh cool, which is a lot of fun Yeah, and we also just put yeah, we queue in pubs and stuff and we're all on discord It is it is just like doter in that if you play it solo

Or just with like two people going into a stack for me It's not fun for me The fun is the team aspect of it and i've actually in a weird way it's got me back into dota because i've been playing a lot of dota lately as well um nice and i just i missed both of those that that sort of multiplayer experience where it's live because i have been playing so many strategy games and you kind of feel like you can pause it you can think and i like that but i also like the immediate sort of response you have to have to a good game of dota or overwatch or something so i've been doing a lot of that i played a lot of hearthstone actually at the weekend i got

to i just sometimes i kick up hearthstone i just sort of play a deck i i think it's interesting and see how it performs and i found a deck that i really enjoyed playing which was the um i really like yogsaron and i really like the uh hunter card lock Load. So I played a deck that I found online. Apparently it's like legend quality. I managed to carry it to like rank three, which is like the highest I've ever been in Hearthstone. Wow, that's pretty good. I'm pretty pleased with that achievement.

And then I sort of dropped down a little bit and played some other decks and dropped down a bit more. But yeah, I really enjoyed getting up there and having a good time. I felt like that was a little bit of an achievement for me you know i'm not i don't consider myself to be a good hearthstone player i think that but i i think that's for some reason that deck just i i knew how to play it and so i i piloted it like fairly comfortably i know i just enjoyed it for some reason i and you know inevitably like it got to a point where some bullshit happened and i just hit the x in the

corner i was like no i'm done with huston yeah i've not played it for like five days since i did that uh but you know i'm looking forward to like it's weird how i come i come back to it sometimes get into it for a little bit and then abandon it again and man i'm still slightly excited for for new cards and new expansions it's weird yeah well we're going to blizzcon in a couple of months so they'll yeah they'll definitely be some sort of hearthstone announcement i wonder if that'll be when they do the overwatch new hero as well because there's been apparently a lot of uh hints at that probably yeah companies love that big sort of grand reveal don't they well blizzard especially yeah they do i love it like valve do as well with with Dota and stuff.

Like with CSGO, they haven't really done that yet. Like when they released that stupid Magnum gun that was horribly overpowered for like one patch, they just sort of put it out. Yeah. But with Dota, when they did Techies, they used the all-star match at TI. To like showcase them and stuff.

And there was Techies like revealed. They had like explosions in the arena and everything. was like it was huge and everybody was losing their mind yeah it's a different kind of game though people get attached to different heroes and stuff i guess csgo is a bit it's a bit more of a mechanical game isn't it you just like jump in and shoot dudes and you have to have that like reflex and skill or whatever maybe you don't care so much about they could have done a similar announcement with that pistol or something i think they could have done but i just don't think it was on stage whips out a magnum everybody screams and panics and he's like it's okay this one's gonna be in the game guys don't worry i'm not gonna be shooting anyone today but maybe tomorrow don't

worry guys i'm not mad i just had a bicycle fall into my head when i was eight and now i have no kind of self-consciousness for some reason i can't i can't say something once i have to say it two times ever since the bike landed on my head so every every joke ever gets wrapped wrapped into that one um do you wait do you want to do one question before we go sure sure all right this one is courtesy of charmaine uh she asks which of you three is the best at diy it's a pretty good question it's probably better than most anyway that's a good question i think that i'm probably better at diy than lewis and i'm unsure of period flax's diy skills so similar boat i also feel that i would be better at diy than lewis because i don't think And I'm unsure of Piri and Flax's DIY skills. Similar boat.

I also feel that I would be better at DIY than Lewis because I don't think he's had the exposure to it and the need for it, having lived in rented accommodation for so very long. That's it. That's true. Yeah. I think with me,

DIY is something that I'm handy enough if I put my mind to it, but I'm so fucking lazy and i procrastinate so fucking hard that when i finally do get around doing it i'll rush through it and that'll do sort of thing yeah you know if it doesn't go perfectly but yeah i mean i've got i've got a lot of tools like i've got like uh i've got i mean i own a sledgehammer i own a pickaxe i own one of those one of those planes, you know, where you can plane wood down and stuff like that.

Whoa, okay. I've got a hammer drill. I've got like a really high powered hammer drill for drilling into concrete. But I feel like if you have the tools, you're enthused about the work. Like for instance, if something comes along and Mrs. F is like, we really need to fix this.

So-and-so, I'm like, hmm, I may have to buy a tool for this. And then I want to try it out. So then it sort of motivates me more than if I just have like all the stuff, the tools have got lying around, they get used once. And then I put off the jobs that they could do for months and months and months. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's pretty much.

I mean, I have the, um, I have the soft uncalloused hands of a man who's never done a day's work. You've never experienced the joy of a cordless power drill? Because they're pretty sweet. I've lived in a very tight accommodation, or not my own accommodation. My parents are very protective over the accommodation that they have. I've almost been conditioned to be super paranoid about drilling something into a wall. It's almost like if you drill this into the wall you'll drill through electric cable and you electrocute

yourself or you'll drill through a gas line and burn the house down or you'll fucking have to pay that you lose all your deposit or you know all this or that or i'm just terrified to do diy and so i think that when i eventually do get a house, I never will, right? Because I've just unfortunately spent 32, three years never fucking, being paranoid and terrified of doing anything. And compare this to like someone, I don't know, I think it's to do with like, I think sometimes you can tell a lot about someone from the daytime TV shows that they watch, okay?

Because Terps loves to watch Homes Under the Hammer. He watches like all of these DIY shows and stuff, and he learns all the tips and tricks, and he's really interested in doing it, and sanding down his floor, and building a fireplace, and putting up a shelf, and, you know, installing a window himself, or, you know, fixing the plumbing.

He's really handy. Yeah. And you can tell from the TV shows that he watches. Do you know what I like to watch as my, like, secret daytime TV cheat thing? QI? Loose women. Antiques Roadshow and Bargain Hunt. I think they're quite chilled.

They're a bit weird. You get to look at all this tat that they like to buy and say it for a profit. I don't know. I feel like I'm the person who would have a house and fill it with tat. I mean, currently I don't have anything. No, I mean, I've seen your house. You don't have anything. i mean i've seen your house you don't have anything vicariously like it's almost like i don't need to buy any tat because i watch tv shows with lots of people who have a lot of tat it's like when you when you buy when you watch a video about

unboxing like a a car an easter egg or whatever you don't need that anymore because you've seen it right you've experienced that vicariously through youtube that's why these unboxing channels are so popular because once people have seen it unboxed, they lose a lot of the passion for it. They're like, oh, well, I've seen that. It's not as cool anymore, is it? I don't really want the weird 3D camera or whatever. I just want to see what it looks like.

And so I think consumerism is suffering because of YouTube unboxing, which is good in a sense. It's probably not good for the economy, but I also think it allows people to live without the need for so much crap. Anyway, that's how I feel. What's your guilty daytime TV thing? And what does that say about you, P-Flax?

I honestly don't watch much television live. Well, no, I don't watch any TV live at all. I only watch live TV in the morning. And that's when i have a baby sleeping on my lap while my wife is like getting ready um because that's like the only chance she has to like have a shower right imagine you were like tabbing through the channels right and there was like matlock and there was like uh you know diagnosis murder and the csi and the storage wars and there's american like pickers i've been watching which've been watching uh frazier oh yeah baby because it's on uh it's on channel four

around the right time for um i don't think i can read too much into you from liking one of the best comedy sitcoms of the last 10 years i know i think i've seen every episode as well it's really funny but after frazier is done undercover boss comes on and i don't normally change the channel so that means that i kind of like it but it's not on at like 10 in the morning so undercover boss just comes on after frazier frazier i'll sit there and actually sort of half pay attention to while i'm farting around on my ipad while the baby's sleeping and then undercover boss similarly it'll come on and occasionally it'll be you know somebody who runs a casino or something like that and you're like

yeah like half watch it but that's about the only tv i really watch yeah i can't stand certain things like i can't watch the apprentice a lot of people go on about it but i really can't i watched it i think i watched like the first like two seasons of it when it was it was out, like when it just came out and it was like the big thing, I was like, well, I'll check it out or whatever. And I didn't mind it, but I wouldn't watch like fucking 10 years of that show. I think the thing is like Sips, when I had little kids and was forced to sit in the house watching television, and they can't watch it.

Like this is before the age where they can really watch it. So I'd be watching stuff. And I would also watch, like I watched Frasier from episode one to the very end in sequence, because they were on channel four, like twice a day. And if you timed it right, you could watch them all.

So I watched the whole run. I watched the whole run of Star Trek Next Generation. I watched the whole run of classic Trek. What else did I watch? There was another series I watched the entire thing. Like the whole- Everybody Loves Raymond. That's on Channel 40 all the time.

God, no, I hate that show. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Did you watch Deep Space Nine? It's bad, but I watch it. Like if it's on, it's okay enough to have it on in the background. Yeah, it's not offensive. It's just not funny. It's terrible.

It's just kind of- Yeah, it's really bad. Jesus, my wife hates it too. I mean, I wonder if he's going to make a joke about his wife or his mother this episode. Yeah. You know, that's like the entire show. And then it's one of those shows, you know, the way shows build up a language with the audience and they know the characters so well that the joke is just like seeing the character.

Yeah. Like, for instance, there's some episodes of Seinfeld where if you're not a Seinfeld fan, Kramer coming into shot or George or someone like that coming into shot we know the characters the joke is evident because we know them yeah so I feel like everybody loves Raymond is the kind of show that because I never watched it and I hate it I'll watch a random episode and he'll be having what seems like a bland conversation that in walks his brother Robert yeah and the audience goes nuts fucking dumb shit that he does Raymond and I'm just and they're all killing themselves laughing

with that fucking deep voice and i just i just to me i'm like maybe i just don't get the show that seeing raymond and and his brother just looking at each other is itself hysterically funny i don't know i kind of feel like if you really like everybody loves raymond you're probably a big fan of shows like ellen's i don't know like seinfeld had fucking recurring characters as well that were just pretty funny like putty and like kenny banya like you know they were funny enough that like even if you didn't watch the show they were just like entertaining enough to see sort of thing the best i mean that's literally my favorite sitcom of all time i i watch it all the time i love that show it's very good seinfeld's the best uh and what about uh big bang theory how where do you guys sit on that i want to

kill i want to kill it and everyone involved with it i cannot stand it's just a show for millennials basically no it is like it's fucking garbage and right and on that bombshell we are going to leave you uh thank you for listening to travels podcast this week um we will see you don't hate me for not liking the big bang next time please i i hate it too spread the spread the hate we all hate the show equally don't target sips with your fucking i hate it also oh do you okay piece of shit show all right it's garbage love you all bye duncan likes it though of course he fucking does Jesus Christ