Triforce! - Triforce! #145: A Safe Place (to Poop)

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

Triforce! Episode 145! This might be the thing that breaks the Triforce apart... would YOU let a friend poop at your house?! Please let us know! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an... extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:23 Yeah, well yesterday your microphone was being all fucky. Yeah, we had issues. So we recorded like 10 minutes of quality Triforce material. Gold, gold. And then it went in the toilet. We flushed it. It wasn't any good anyway. What were we talking about?
Starting point is 00:01:36 We were talking about a microphone that was shaped like a choc-ice that would fit perfectly up your ass. Yeah, I mean, look, that summary right there, that's all you need. You can figure out the rest. perfectly up your ass. Yeah, that's right. I mean, look, that summary right there, that's all you need. You can get the honest thing from that. Yeah, you can figure out the rest. It segued into talking about how ice creams were designed perfectly to fit into the mouth. That's right.
Starting point is 00:01:52 Therefore, they would also fit into the asshole. That's right. So, dildo manufacturers, take note. Yes. Why not use, like, the classic ice creams as, I mean, a mini milk is round. Okay, like a mini, it's like a tube, which is fine, because it's quite small. But a big tube, like a microphone size tube doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:02:12 It needs to be flattened like a Magnum or a Solera. You know, we're talking about dildos, talking about dildos. It occurs to me that whoever marketed the dildo has done an amazing job because it's like women and dildos is not seen as like a creepy weird thing. Whereas a dude with one of those vibrating vaginas that used to be able to get that dude or a flashlight. That dude's like a creepy neck. Or a dildo. Maybe a dude with a dildo.
Starting point is 00:02:41 Yeah, totally. Like you could totally find. You never hear about dudes with dildos. You could find like a dildo in the in the bedroom drawer of anyone like your mom yeah your sister your teenage daughter like anyone it's fine but imagine if you found like a pocket pussy in your dad's drawer or in like your brother's drawer or in your son's drawer you'd be like what the fuck is this well i wonder why that is honestly i think if i wasn't married and i lived alone i would probably have like a dildo and stuff i would just i'd have one of those dolls why not i would just i'd just try it out i'd just be like whatever
Starting point is 00:03:17 i haven't felt the touch of another human being for some time now i'm shoving something on my ass like that's my that's my thought process so you'll go into the uh you'll go into the same situation you don't want to fuck something like like period is basically saying he'll have like a whole room dedicated to like a series of all sorts i'd have like i'd have one of those dolls as well flax i would fuck that all the time like why not you're on your own jesus you're on your own you got nobody around to judge you and stuff but people will see who nobody will see that i'm not doing it on the fucking roof unless i make movies of it yeah but waking up people come around for reasons people come around and they poke their nose into rooms like you got a cleaner you got a dog yeah
Starting point is 00:03:57 but i got like family that's what i'd say where they go oh right oh yeah here's the toilet room not that room if i didn't have a wife or kids or anyone really that I was sort of responsible role model towards, I would probably film myself shoving things in my ass and stuff. Why not? Just like you've got to have some fun, right? Post it anonymously on OnlyFans. I'd shove things up my ass and film myself doing it.
Starting point is 00:04:19 I've got a friend who is very strongly considering posting feet pics on OnlyFans. And just being like, why not? I know a few people who would be interested in that. Apparently he's got really nice feet. It's a he, wow. Oh, a dude. Oh, gosh, sorry, I retract.
Starting point is 00:04:41 I'm not sure that there's a huge market for dudes' feets. I bet, dude, you'd be surprised. Exactly. You see what I mean? You want to find those niches. Oh, women's foot,es though i don't know what it is about women's feet they're like some sometime i can see the appeal sometimes you're a heterosexual man obviously the people looking at men's feet are probably gay no no but like sarah like i i can understand why people find like feet particularly i'd say women's feet attractive or like um you know what i mean like sometimes the shape of them or something i don't know what it is but i i get it but i'm not
Starting point is 00:05:11 at the same time i'm not like i i wouldn't say that i have like a fetish for feet or whatever i think i could just just about understand how somebody could though i think i think that a guy's a guy's gnarly ass foot like danny devito's foot or whatever i do not see the appeal the difference is... But a guy's gnarly-ass foot, like Danny DeVito's foot or whatever, I do not see the appeal. The thing is, to me, if you look at... There's pretty much every single part of a woman that I would say, yeah, I really like that. Yeah, sometimes you see some big hips. Okay, let's go through them.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Let's rate them on a tier list. We'll start at the bottom. The least sexy part of a woman, what is it? Is it the elbow? A knee? The least sexy part of a woman what is it um the elbow a knee like at least i don't know some it depends on the woman really like if we're talking about like my supply teacher when i was in grade six who had a massive pimple on her face i would say that was the least attractive part of any so the face i've ever seen but um face is right at the bottom no no not i wouldn't even say face i'd say the actual growth on the face it's individual dependent right yeah i would also
Starting point is 00:06:11 say if you're if you're looking at a woman that's that's gorgeous pretty much every part of her is also by extension therefore gorgeous it's like yeah it's leaking out of the the face and the other gorgeous bits yeah yeah suddenly her little finger is like oh that little finger is the most perfect little finger i've ever seen you know it's like yeah it's it's like uh it's sort of an aura has it has it produces beauty all over the place i see so by by seeing the just the foot you imagine the rest well you'd have to see the rest as well i you know what i never like it where like i you know i like can i confess something guys i look at porn from time to time all right i'm happy to say that i'm sure we've spoken about that before i'll be honest with you i would like to say something as well i have done in the past
Starting point is 00:06:53 but it has been a long ass while since i've looked at any porn oh well well done i'm going out of my way i'm taking a book out of my leaf out of lewis's book i'm i'm i've stopped i've tried i've tried i'm not doing that a couple times well yeah do you know why because i think that there's just honestly like i've i've come to a couple of weeks clean i think so i've come to realize oh i'm i'm like months and months and months like i'm i'm i'm clean as a whistle now are you using your imagination yeah like it's the 12th century yeah no i've come to realize that there are some, uh, really big, really big problems with, uh, with porn that I don't want to, um, I don't want to be part of
Starting point is 00:07:32 the, uh, the problem, you know, I don't want to be, I don't want to be part of the, I've, I've, I've seen some, I've seen and read some things about porn recently that have disturbed me so much that I've decided I'm done. I'm never supporting porn in any way, shape, or form ever again. Well, I watched a thing that was very pro-only fans because it was like women are taking back the power and the money for themselves. And I respect that. It's just it costs money. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:07:58 It feels like an incredibly exploitative industry. And I think it does warp your view of of of women or the opposite sex if you're engaging in you know if you're a lady watching porn it warps it warps things and i think it's it's there is some i read something about your brain on porn being like a bad thing and so i did i did when i was going through my sort of health binge time i tried to reduce it and it made me um a lot more positive and happy actually reducing my intake because it was a bit out of control it can get me very addicting right uh-huh for sure um but you know i think you're all adults and you've got a sure yourself i'm not judging anybody i do what you
Starting point is 00:08:36 like but you personally though i i abstain i love it yet again i come here and talk about a thing and you two are instantly that's bad you shouldn't do it are instantly, that's bad. You shouldn't do it. No, I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I'm saying me personally, I'm not doing it for reasons that maybe I'll reveal at some point. God's watching you for a start. If you're smashing the Johnson. Jesus, not like a continual, I'm not just a husk of a man. Jesus is mad with you.
Starting point is 00:09:02 Well, fuck him. If Jesus wants to come down here and have a conversation about it, we can talk. But if he's going to sit up there silently judging me, I'll see him afterwards. He's got his arms crossed. He's looking down. He's looking down on your bald head,
Starting point is 00:09:14 and he's thinking, that slap head, he's fucking away. Not without a care in the world. What I'm saying is, I look forward to the conversation when I can say, so you wait until I was dead, and then you decided to tell me I shouldn't have done that bullshit there's nothing in the bible about porn just saying no it wasn't really a thing back then i don't think i i it's one of those things where they thought ahead if they're gonna write a book i'm meant to be living two
Starting point is 00:09:36 thousand years nobody could foresee this tidal wave of pleasure coming at them you know what i mean like it was to get it um it was a anyway back to my original point yeah one thing i don't like in porn is when it's you're shown body parts regardless of what they are without the context of seeing the person they're attached to i don't like that right i can't fetishize a body part it needs to be part of a complete person not i feel like i feel like i feel like okay yeah porn sure but and you know if you watch porn whatever that you know you you do you sort of thing but like i feel like at some point if you watch a lot of porn which i've never really watched a ton of uh but i've watched enough to to sort of get to a point realize i feel like there i feel like there should be more sort of like
Starting point is 00:10:26 lead up and story and stuff like modern porn is not like that is it no i know it's really just technically like yeah okay everything every part of my body is shaved and i am ready to just be slapped in the chops for like half an hour straight or whatever and there's no like i don't know i mean i remember when we used to find porn in my in my friend's dad's basement and there was like a story you know there was like a tennis coach and like it was like i love how you're lamenting love and everything and you're just like yeah i can i could well i i could definitely masturbate to that like there's something that's coming back right like because that's that's the sort of part of this thing i watched about only fans was that a lot of these women offer this
Starting point is 00:11:08 girlfriend experience okay which is the idea that it's something more it's something tailored to you it's something more unique and they they know your name and like they know what you're like and they kind of offer this sort of companionship weirdly through the internet or more familiarized and it's kind of apparently not that i've actually have any experience with this it's apparently more it's like premium it's more premium as an experience right it's more it's more i don't know less anonymous and kind of embarrassing slightly shameful you know why because people are so disconnected from each other that that is hot to people having a relationship having some kind of faux personalized relationship i mean is a turn on because it's life if we're talking about life
Starting point is 00:11:53 affirming being disconnected though they all think that porn plays a part in that because i think the internet and and isolation plays a part in that well that yeah but and as an extension porn right like if you're completely isolated you're isolating yourself from uh the real world which a lot of people do nowadays you can easily through the internet um you're you're getting all of your you're getting everything including gratification from that isolation as well but here's my my thing is i'm saying that this isn't a self-isolation. This isn't like people have collectively decided that they don't want to do anything or go anywhere. Because if they had decided that,
Starting point is 00:12:29 why are they so miserable? Do you know what I mean? I don't think it's a choice. I think they decided it almost because it is an option now. No, I disagree. I don't think it's human nature. I actually think society has changed. Yeah, it has. But that's what I'm saying. Like these people who are isolated, are isolated for whatever, a variety of reasons, but it's much easier for them to sort of, I don't know, like succumb or like to that isolation. You know what I mean? Whereas years ago, it might have been like, fuck, I'm really isolated and I'm so miserable because there's nothing to help me with this. Whereas nowadays there's like a million things
Starting point is 00:13:12 that can help you with isolation, right? Like you can still form relationships on the internet or like you can subscribe to somebody's OnlyFans and feel like you have a girlfriend on the internet. And you know what I mean? But like none of that stuff used to exist. So I think there more of a a sort of like i gotta get out there you know what i mean like yeah everyone is nothing's ever gonna happen so different but nowadays everybody's like i don't even need to get out there like i'm miserable but this will do sort of thing i've got
Starting point is 00:13:39 all this porn and i've got netflix and i've got know, games that I play all the time or whatever and whatever. You know what I mean? I think more people are anxious than ever and more alone than ever as well and feel like they're disconnected from the world. But again, everyone handles this in a different way. Some people take it in a positive way and some people don't. I think that everyone's different and everyone's – I'm saying guys be aware of like your own self because you know if you feel like if you feel like you know you're having trouble then reach out and and get help you know and if you feel like you're happy then good um
Starting point is 00:14:14 maybe help some other people who you might think aren't as happy as you or teach people or just talk about it talk about stuff like we're doing here and go around in circles and like yourself stupid for fuck's sake do we think that that the triforce podcast is an exemplary sort of no i wouldn't say i wouldn't say like us lads talk about no there's the problem i think the problem with our podcast is that two of us are married with children and stuff like that so instantly our perception of things and our levels of sort of contentment or happiness or unhappiness or whatever will be completely different to a lot
Starting point is 00:14:50 of people listening right like i think yes i mean i do think that you and i are quite different like we we have a lot of a lot of different opinions like i think the interesting thing is actually that we have a quite similar lifestyle but i think the thing is because of our lifestyles our opinion and our differing opinions are are fine you know like we don't we don't put much into to our opinions right like if you have a different opinion on something that's not going to devastate me i don't care of course no likewise with you but i feel like people that don't have a life where you're you're sharing a life with somebody and you've created uh other people uh so we're talking about lewis here we're saying lewis is devastated every time we no no no but i'm just saying like i i feel like there are some people out there who
Starting point is 00:15:35 all they have is their opinions you know what i mean and if you go against what their opinion is or whatever they'll take that a lot harder than you or I would. I don't feel like you're somebody that would ever get overly upset if I just completely disagreed with you. You know what I mean? I think there are some closed-minded people, but there's also some people who have educated themselves and come to a conclusion that's different to us because they're more educated than us.
Starting point is 00:16:02 We're still learning. Like, you know, we're still learning we don't fucking know everything at 40 years old we're never going to know everything we have a very limited this is actually really interesting I watched a movie yesterday on Netflix
Starting point is 00:16:17 I'm thinking of ending it I think it's Charlie Kaufman was the movie that bad? God, that would be my one sentence review of it holy shit um basically i'm thinking sorry i'm thinking of ending things so it's a charlie kaufman movie oh right right right eternal sunshine and spotless mind yes yeah yeah yeah he did uh john malkovich i think back in the day being john malkovich and he also did most recently he did
Starting point is 00:16:45 a movie called anomalisa which i watched it was about five years ago it was a sort of animated thing with puppets and this one is again it's it's it's an adapted novel that was kind of a weird sort of horror-y psychological thriller thing you know one of these modern kind of slightly slightly uncomfortable to watch things you're not sure what the fuck's going on my god i so i looked it up afterwards because i didn't really follow it at all it was a bit too abstract what was that um what was that movie that we saw at your house that one time i was over um lewis about it's like the end of the it was like the end of the world or something, but like, there's people, fuck, it was such a weird movie, but it was really good. I can't remember what it's-
Starting point is 00:17:30 Was it Coherence? Was it Coherence? Maybe, the one with- It was a bit of a mind bender, like- Yeah, we've watched a few weird movies together. Coherence is really good, though. I recommend it. It's like a really low budget. It was maybe like 20 grand. Yeah, yeah, I like that. It's got Zonda from Buffy in it.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Yeah. And it's kind of, it's like, it's quite a cool thing. But this thing is big budget. Oh, that's the one where there's two houses and there's one house. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah, I enjoyed that a lot. And like if they crossed over a certain point to get to the other house,
Starting point is 00:17:56 they like were in a different dimension or something. It was something to do with like an eclipse or something like that. It was really awesome. It kind of was fine because it sort of, as the movie went on sort of stopped almost to like it kind of explained where it was a little bit just to help you fill in the gaps whereas this movie is just like never does that like it all the way through till almost the very end it's still like i basically i maybe i was just not giving it enough attention but i felt like i was i think i i felt like i'm gonna figure this movie out i've watched a lot of movies i've read a lot of books i didn't get it at all and i looked
Starting point is 00:18:29 it up on i mean i just googled it on on google and like the keywords for this movie it's like dark boring confusing literally they're the three keywords for this fucking movie. It's just this kind of odd mess in someone's mind. A little bit like Anomalisa is a little bit like that. It's a really interesting movie, and it's about this guy who kind of sees everyone the same around him, right? And then he meets someone who's different, and he's obsessed with her. And he gets into a relationship with her and then um i won't say any more about it but it's
Starting point is 00:19:10 kind of like this this odd look at people and how they see the world around them and how they so look it's sort of sadness depression and also god anyways it's tough and i've watched all of his all of his movies i actually watched there's one called Syncdosh Syncdosh New York yes what's it however that's pronounced Syncdosh
Starting point is 00:19:31 it's not very good yeah I find a lot of these films like I don't like when it's trying so hard to be
Starting point is 00:19:39 a fruit loop of a film it's like hey this will throw you for six look at this crazy thing happening now and it's just weird scenes and you think did you just like put a bunch of scene ideas in a fucking hat and then draw them out and just stick them in order? And that's a movie. It annoys me. It annoys me. And I just what the fuck is wrong with this? So many modern films are like this.
Starting point is 00:19:59 It's just pointless shit and just boring conversations where nothing fucking happened. It's film masturbation. Pisses me off. That is what it is oh my god it was the wankiest wankiest film ever like it really was people wanking themselves off in this big circle and i i actually genuinely hated it like this movie like i i i fucking i stuck it out to the end and I I mean I didn't hate the experience it creeped me out in places and I
Starting point is 00:20:28 I didn't like have to stop it well I did I had to stop it a couple times but like I felt like I came I wanted to get it
Starting point is 00:20:34 all done in a night I don't know like it was fine let me give you a list of some of the characters you'll get in this in these films this is how you know
Starting point is 00:20:40 you're in one of these films the main character is an unbelievably ineffectual shy person and most of the film hinges on them being unable to say
Starting point is 00:20:49 something because they're shy that's the hitch for the movie is that you think why don't you just tell them X and he's just like
Starting point is 00:20:55 just can't say can't speak can't say anything so if you're hanging a film off this it's fucking infuriating that is so much oh my god
Starting point is 00:21:04 you wouldn't believe how accurate you are yes I know because I watched these films and they're all the fucking same is that the movie it's honestly I will say to you right now
Starting point is 00:21:13 you could have skipped the whole two hours and just had that moment bingo you just described and that would be the exact movie that you just watched
Starting point is 00:21:21 yeah and you can you can waste two hours thinking about that moment there are a lot dude there are so many films out there like that david i can't believe david have you heard of david have you have you heard of david mamet no he's a playwright and he's a director okay he did uh glenn gary glenn ross is probably one of the most famous examples oh yeah i've heard of that yeah so i mean that's incredibly famous brilliant film right so he wrote a book called
Starting point is 00:21:43 on directing film and it's basically a series of lectures that he sort of transcribed and some essays about writing film. And he complains about what this was happening in the 90s. Modern American cinema and the way directors are making of films, an awful lot of it is just wanking. Literally, he doesn't put it that way. But that's what he's saying. It's literally them just saying, let's have this scene where x happens story doesn't move forward at all characters don't do anything just like just fucking characters fumbling and stumbling around and that is meant to be a movie and it is so annoying i'm not saying every film has to be fucking straightforward and and
Starting point is 00:22:19 awesome but who the fuck are you making these films for? This movie was two and a half hours long and I was like, I imagine that the director decided to, I reckon when he first filmed it, his first cut was probably five and a half hours of wank and he managed to cut it down to two and a half hours of wank and I imagine every single minute he was agonizing over which minute of wank am I going to cut out? Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:22:41 But they make these films, these films are made for festival audiences and other directors to say oh that's brilliant film students as well they're not made for audiences they're not made for audiences and that pisses me off because i mean for instance it's felt like the kind of thing i would have watched for read for a book club do you know what i mean and hated every second of it and it hated the book club that i turned up to with all these people wanking over it. This is a problem that directors have when they get too big,
Starting point is 00:23:08 or they get too famous within directorly circles, and they're basically, they're guaranteed that they can make their indie movie, because I was like, oh yeah, oh, that was amazing, absolutely, no, no, no, you should make this, and they're given free reign, and they just wank all over the screen,
Starting point is 00:23:21 and you're meant to fucking, it's like a soggy biscuit. I hate a movie that spoon feeds you what's going on the whole time. Right. It keeps repeating what's going on. There is a happy medium. I like a smart movie, right? I like a quirky movie too.
Starting point is 00:23:33 I like something different. And I like a, you know, I'm not someone who only wants to watch Transformers. Right. But like, this was, it was too much. It was too far off the other side. And it just, I don't know. But it was too much. It was too far off the other side. And it just, I don't know. Let's look at Christopher Nolan,
Starting point is 00:23:48 who's probably one of the most successful sort of style directors at the moment. You know it's a Nolan film when you're watching one of his films, okay? So I like his stuff. I saw Tenet. It was okay. I think it was one of his weakest, to be honest with you.
Starting point is 00:24:01 But if you watch Prestige, that's a fucking great movie. I really liked Inception. I really liked Inter to start it's a really good film right uh they're very long they're very long but they tell a story they're thinking of the audience but there is one thing that he does which is the fucking audio mixes on his films where he racks them up to like 11 and puts the dialogue in with all the sound effects it's so loud you can't well i basically watch every fucking anything with subtitles on now i don't know i've i started doing it i don't know why but i've i can't watch a movie without subtitles on now or even tv shows i guess i just well i find the audio audio mixing like flax said not only on uh movies but on some tv shows it's exceptionally bad as
Starting point is 00:24:46 well like and notable for me was uh was breaking bad uh as much as i love the show and i have really nothing bad to say about it there are times where the characters are just mumbling so much and i think if you're not american especially like i remember my wife at times being like i don't know what they just said like i i cannot i cannot like get what they're saying yeah maybe i need to get mumbling maybe i need to get like a soundbar or some speakers or something so here's the the issue is this because i believe me i've googled this because we'll be watching a movie downstairs we watch a movie with the kids and you have one of you have to have the remote control at all times because when people are talking you have to turn it up and when there's any kind of action you've got to turn it way down or it literally blasts out the
Starting point is 00:25:27 fucking speakers so your tv like modern smart tvs have this like dynamic range thing where it thinks it's clever and it's like oh you need it loud for this bit okay we'll fucking turn it way up and it the the tv is just not smart enough and the the the dvd or the Blu-ray or the streaming service you're watching it on sometimes also isn't smart enough with their mix. So the TV's trying to compensate and your soundbar's trying to do shit so the audio gets all fucked up. I think this came about because everybody
Starting point is 00:25:55 thought that everybody with these soundbars and everything now, it's about this home cinema experience. How many fucking people genuinely have a home cinema set up with, with like full surround sound no neighbors to worry about and have everything racked up to 11 very few people i have there's one of my friends lives like that and i felt so bad for his neighbors and he literally had fucking 10 speakers secreted around this room and when you watch a film there was no talking
Starting point is 00:26:21 because the sound was so fucking loud huge screen it's like yeah all right this actually is a home cinema most people don't do this shit most people just want to watch a fucking film without being people are watching it on their fucking phone probably right than a fucking home cinema can we calm down with the sound please we have this thing in my house i don't know if yours is the same flax where like the tv just magically gets louder and louder as the day goes on so like say say we're at home on a saturday right and the kids wake up early and you put cartoons on for them or whatever and you put it at like a really reasonable volume because you don't really want to listen to that shit all day or whatever and it's like fine whatever and then i find like throughout as the day progresses by about dinner time all of a sudden you're just like in the
Starting point is 00:27:05 background all you can hear is like baby shark like you just hear like all this stuff really fucking loud all of a sudden can i just say and you're just like what the fuck is going on as a detective in this case i'm going to tell you right now your kids are just turning the tv up they are they they are and you know what it is It's over a series of arguments throughout the day that you're not always aware of. Right. It'll be like, I'm trying to watch this. And, you know, your sister's being too loud or whatever. So I'm going to turn it up a bit. So it goes up like, you know, one or two, just to make it loud enough to hear. That's the family scale. Yeah. And yeah, and then it just slowly scales up. And then by the time it's dinner time,
Starting point is 00:27:42 you've kind of attuned to it as well and but like if i if i leave the house for a second to go get milk or something i come back and this thing is just blaring like walking down you can hear it coming down the road you're like what the fuck how are we living like this it's insane like do you do that thing where you burst in everyone's everyone's chill in the front room you burst in what the hell is going on in this i can hear the tv halfway down the road exactly oh my god it is i love the burst in the dramatic burst in parent oh man yeah like sometimes my kids are doing something stupid i love i burst in what the hell do you think you're doing they're like oh you know that's it you caught him red-handed it's like the police jesus christ man adventures with children once again last week all we talked about was well
Starting point is 00:28:26 we're going to talk about something else this week for sure before we carry on i just want to say thank you very much to this week's sponsor the trifles podcast it's express vpn do you have you got do you use express vpn yeah sips it's good all the time i don't want the man knowing what i'm doing on the net yeah they're delighted to be associated with this podcast with all the talk of poops. Yeah. If you want to Google that stuff safely, get on ExpressVPN right now. That's right.
Starting point is 00:28:49 That's true. That's a good suggestion. So ExpressVPN doesn't log any data. Lots of cheap and free VPNs make money by selling data to ad companies. ExpressVPN doesn't do that. ExpressVPN has a technology
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Starting point is 00:29:30 It's easier than playing most multiplayer games on Steam. Holy crap. How can I get on board this ExpressVPN train and also support the Triforce podcast? Exactly. Thank you. You can go to expressvpn.com slash Triforce today. You get three months free on a one-year package. That's expressvpn.com slash Triforce today. You get three months free on a one-year package. That's expressvpn.com slash Triforce. Sorry to interrupt. Let's get back.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Listen, I've got a, I would like to pitch to you guys right now, an idea that I have for a movie. Okay. Okay. And taking into mind everything that you guys said about, you know, wanking and all this stuff, I would like to see what you guys think of this idea that I've got for a movie based on some thoughts that I had yesterday, okay? I felt bad that we couldn't record the podcast. Well, that sounds like enough of a plot
Starting point is 00:30:20 for most of these wanking movies. Let me think about something interesting to say for tomorrow because I knew we were going to do it again tomorrow and and now that we're talking about movies i feel like this idea is good enough spin into a movie okay it could be like i could i feel like i could be like the next woody allen or something like that with this idea okay ego the whole premise of this movie is going to explore whether or not you think it's okay to take a shit at somebody else's house. Okay, so we're going to start off with like a nice supper, like a candlelight soiree over at like your friend's house. You know, there's maybe a couple of couples there and they're, you know, having some fondue and eating some bread and having just like some conversation or whatever. And the lead character will all of a sudden feel like, hang on a second, I could really do with taking a shit.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Now, in that situation, do you think it's okay to shit at somebody else's house on their toilet? Hang on, let's build this up. Okay, so the first thing that's going to happen is is the first act is gonna be him needing a shit, maybe even before he got to the house. Yeah, you've got to, if you're gonna have a shit, Not feeling, not knowing. You're gonna have a shit in scene three, you need to show it in scene one, that they hit him, like a gun, right?
Starting point is 00:31:37 So I think he needed a shit, but he just resisted the urge early on, right? And then once he's at the house, he doesn't want to take a shit immediately. No, no no no right he has to hold it but it does but but it does beg the question though when is it okay to shit at somebody else's house i would i would say if you need to go like who gets offended it's i would say never though honestly like i know it is i know it's a toilet but i i don't know about you okay no no forget forget this forget whether it's okay or not right the fact that the movie can be he needs a shit he's gonna have to take a shit
Starting point is 00:32:09 sometime yeah but he's constantly like like for example okay maybe he doesn't want to like maybe the toilet is like in in the same room or like it's really obvious that he's going to be in there for a long time so he has to like wait for an opportunistic moment but then once he goes in there maybe there's not enough loo roll for like it's just one sheet of loo roll left
Starting point is 00:32:27 and that's fine for P but he needs a poo so then he has to go through like asking someone for more loo roll I think I think that there's
Starting point is 00:32:34 this just seems like a Seinfeld episode at this point I know but I imagine the whole movie is hinged off of this though okay the whole point of it
Starting point is 00:32:41 was that this guy needs to take a shit early on you'll find out this out in the movie. And then there comes into question, hang on, is it okay to shit at somebody else's house? And then maybe eventually he decides to leave the house so that he could shit at home. But then he gets sidetracked with some other stuff. You know, maybe a whole bunch of stuff can happen along the way.
Starting point is 00:33:00 And then in the end, all he wanted to do was take a shit. And it could be like a diehard moment. You know, he's uh like a wife beater that's like covered in dirt and blood and he's had this big adventure and stuff and then finally he can sit down on his own can and pinch a loaf you know what i mean like as like the final scene he could just be sitting there in pure silence like just i still don't understand why can't he just take a shit at someone's house is that a thing that people don't do no no i was thinking about this though like i i was thinking about what like in circumstances when it's okay to take a shit at somebody's house okay right so right no no but i'm trying to establish something here are you telling me that there is a
Starting point is 00:33:40 point where it is not okay to take a shit at someone i feel like it it's never really okay to take a shit at somebody else's like it it's never really okay to take a shit at somebody else's house all right so i need to talk about that more before we talk about the adventures of pooping man yeah why well i i feel like a while ago i wouldn't have never thought of it i would have been like yeah i need i need to take shit i'm gonna take a shit but it's like taking a shit in a lot of ways it works in cycles right i don't know about you guys but like i'll have weeks where my shits are like perfect and i i i feel like i'm wasting toilet paper even wiping like they're they are perfect they're like these really nice clean shits like i'm healthy
Starting point is 00:34:16 i'm obviously eating like well or or whatever all right uh and then other times um if i'm like ill or like if i if i'm stressed out about something or maybe I'm not eating well because of those things, my shits are like a fucking disaster. Okay. All right. All right. So I'm in there wiping for like an hour after and stuff. What if you have a bad poop at someone's house? That's it.
Starting point is 00:34:39 Well, that's what I'm saying. Like I feel like. Like an explosive, really messy poo. I feel like if I was desperate to take a shit, but if I was in a cycle where I was taking really nice clean shits and I could be in and out of there in like two seconds and they wouldn't really stink too bad or anything. Nobody would know. They'd think that was a long pee. Maybe it was just taking time.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Then I might be like, yeah, okay, I'll take like a sleuthy, stealthy shit here and nobody will know sort of thing. I still don't understand what the problem is. Like, what do you think people are going to do when you come out they're going to be like oh my god you pooed in a toilet it's not so much what they're going to do or even think i just feel like i don't know it's kind of like if if you're if you're in a bad shit cycle and you're in there for like an hour stinking up their bathroom and like an hour using up all their toilet paper yeah you might be like reading the sports scores or something like well i mean this is different you're not talking about taking a
Starting point is 00:35:28 poo you're talking about being incredibly anti-social taking an hour to go to the toilet no no no no you you're missing the point making a mess everywhere like that's that's such a specific case you don't want to have to be rushing no you don't want to rush that one out though that's like there's no point because otherwise you're just gonna have to go back in there you're saying an hour on the toilet i'm exaggerating it's not an though. That's it. There's no point, because otherwise you're just going to have to go back in there. But you're saying an hour on the toilet? I'm exaggerating. It's not an hour, but it's long enough for people to notice, hang on a second, like, what the fuck is he doing in there?
Starting point is 00:35:52 He must be taking a shit. He must be taking a shit in my bathroom. I just don't know who would be offended by that. I would love to see the comments on this on Reddit. If you've listened to this podcast, you've ever pooed at someone else's house, have you felt overwhelming guilt? And if you own a toilet and someone else used it. I don't really shit at other people's houses though.
Starting point is 00:36:11 That's the thing. There is that. You're 100%. Listen, it's like wanking, right? There's this element of shame doing it at someone else's house. And what you want is you want like the girlfriend experience. You want like the shit friend experience, right? You want like some people to take you to your house and they're like hey look this is a safe space we've got a special
Starting point is 00:36:28 bathroom if you need to take a shit you could go in there take as long as you want we've like we're prepared there's like wet wipes in there and everything if you need them we've got like there's a refreshing mist that you can spray up your butt when you're done if you need it ventilation's great no one's gonna go in after in after you. Do you know what I mean? It's like going to a massage place, right? We treat these things like pampering and the whole Girlfriend Experience now for wanking, you could get someone to virtually wank you off. What we need is someone to virtually prepare you and get you ready. When you visit places, there should be these chambers where you can go and have a really nice shit. It's like the
Starting point is 00:37:04 next thing that we haven't covered yet. We have those. They're called toilets. They've been around for a long time. Everyone wants a premium, high quality shit. Yeah. I don't want to be judged while I'm in there. I'm on board.
Starting point is 00:37:15 I want people to put special towels for me to wipe my ass with. I don't want anyone to be like, well, what's he taking so long over? If somebody went to the toilet in my house and they were gone for a while i would just think oh they probably needed to take a shit i wouldn't think i mean this is the thing but you guys are thinking do you have you're putting you're putting your prejudices in other people's minds by saying oh they'd be thinking oh my god they're taking a shit in my house. Who thinks that? I would. It's a toilet! I would. If they took a shit in my shower I'd be offended. Okay, and listen to this. Further to that, okay, I don't know how your house is configured,
Starting point is 00:37:50 but we have a downstairs and an upstairs toilet. Same, yeah. Okay, if somebody comes to your house, where do they go to the toilet? Well, if they're gonna do a poo, I would prefer they went upstairs just in case there's any owner. Okay, well nobody's going upstairs in my house. Like, that's one thing. No one's- no. No, I've got a toilet downstairs that I don't really use. I use it as a washing cupboard, but it's the guest toilet, right? What do you mean no one's going upstairs?
Starting point is 00:38:12 So if you have a guest in your house, they're not allowed upstairs? Well, I've only got like a toilet downstairs. To go to the toilet? No, that's my toilet. They're not going up there. See, you guys are fucking nuts. That's the problem. This is not a general problem. See, you guys are fucking nuts. That's the problem. This is not a general problem.
Starting point is 00:38:26 This is a you guys problem. I'm sorry. I disagree, Flax. I think if you... Okay, we'll read the comments on this one and see what people think. They're going to have to walk through the room full of the sex blow-up dolls
Starting point is 00:38:37 to the toilet? Exactly. No way. It's at the top of the stairs. It's too close. It's too close. They're using the downstairs. They're using the downstairs. They're using the downstairs.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Are you saying an upstairs toilet is in your bedroom? He's talking about an en suite, which is 100 times more no than just somebody going upstairs to use your... I don't want anybody going upstairs in my house. Also, I've prepared a downstairs toilet for them to use. I've put a little hand towel on there. I've checked there's Carex in there i've like put some i've checked there's carex in there and some enough loo roll like i've prepared it the downstairs loo is ready
Starting point is 00:39:09 for yes yes you guys are on another fucking planet i swear to christ this is the honestly this is the weirdest shit i think you i think you live like an animal flax no i think you live like an animal when you come to my house you're gonna be like when you're gonna be like do you need a poo here it is. Take as long as you want. I've got today's newspaper in there. But hold on, now you're telling me that you don't mind people taking a shit but they have to use
Starting point is 00:39:34 a specific toilet. I do mind them taking a shit. I don't want anybody taking a shit in my house. We think about people shitting in our house in the same way that we are concerned about shitting in other people's houses because they sometimes aren't as sensitive as we are towards the needs of a man with a sensitive butthole. I have a very, very simple view on this.
Starting point is 00:39:51 If you're coming to my house, take a shit at home before you come to my house. Do not come to my house and take a shit while you're here. I think this is like a breaking point for me. I'm like, you're welcome to take a shit, but maybe, maybe yeah like maybe just shit when you need to don't hold it in don't feel any pressure you guys sound like this is the kind of shit that people will come up with when they're one of those neighborhood communities
Starting point is 00:40:13 that decides how other people should cut their lawns what color their fucking fences should be this is that level of of fucking analness it's insane literally you're not allowed to poop in my house what the fuck i'm not saying some i'm the king get out of my castle no one shits here but me he's like territorial it's like a dog pissing in the corner i just i just i can't get my head around it we need to talk about something else because there's nothing more that we can discuss here this is ridiculous i feel like it's disrespectful to go to somebody else's house and take a shit at their house. Like I just, I don't know why you can't just have a shit at your own house before you leave the house.
Starting point is 00:40:51 It's definitely disrespectful if you're saving it up. If you're saving up a shit and thinking I'll do a shit at Sips' house, fair enough. But how are you to know that person's mind? Well, you never suddenly need a shit. You never think, oh gosh, I need to go. Sometimes people are like that. Right, but then again, but then you're saying this person has to be a specific unpleasant person if you say i don't want that person shitting in my house that's different but you're literally blind no shitting
Starting point is 00:41:14 in my house i don't want anyone shitting my house let's say you went to a golf lesson i wouldn't even like there was a guy there what liz hurley shitting in my house that's how strongly i feel about it bizarre yeah absolutely there was a guy there who's teaching you. He becomes your friend. He's called, let's say his name's Trev. Trev, yeah. And he's doing that thing where he comes around to hold your hands from behind and cup you and gently guide you in your movement.
Starting point is 00:41:41 This is your golf fantasy, by the way. He touches your leg a bit right as and you're like what okay that that felt a bit you know he was pushing my leg into place but it felt like he was you know maybe are you saying that someone pooping in your house is the equivalent to sexual assault is that what you're saying no i'm just saying that trevor is what he's doing is he's just maybe he's maybe you're thinking he's just gauging how comfortable i am with being you know man man just man just man stuff right it's not it's not he doesn't mean anything by it just he's just a guy right just a touchy guy i've lost i just want to say i've
Starting point is 00:42:15 agreed with with lewis all the way up until this point i don't know what he's talking about yeah no this analogy is making no sense so trevor is a guy. It's still going. He touches you. He touches you at golf. I'm trying to understand. But you're not sure. You're not sure whether it's inappropriate touching or he's just a regular guy just being a guy, right? Anyway, he comes around to your house. You become friends.
Starting point is 00:42:33 You have a drink. But every time he comes around to your house, you notice that there's a little smell, you know, a little smell in the bathroom afterwards, right? And he's obviously done a poo. And you're like, oh. But that happens every time, okay? Do you think differently of trevor absolutely yeah a hundred percent again this is such a specific example but it's like it's like weird it's like you
Starting point is 00:42:54 mentioned to your wife you're like have you noticed like every time trevor comes around he poops and it smells bad he'd be banned my wife would would straight up ban him after one poop even she'd be like why is this guy coming to our house and shitting in our house? And then I would say, yeah, I know. It's kind of weird, isn't it? Even using the guest toilet for a shit is like, what are you doing? God, you guys. How have you gotten to this point in your life where you're not shitting at home
Starting point is 00:43:17 before you leave your house to go somewhere else? And maybe it's because Trevor doesn't like to poop at the golf club, right? Well, who can blame him? I don't want to poop at the golf club right well who can blame him I don't want to poop maybe there's some reasonable explanation this is the ultimate fucking poop straw man
Starting point is 00:43:30 this is a poop man you've built here you've constructed an entire character that no one no one could honestly say that that isn't weird yes a guy specifically
Starting point is 00:43:40 coming to your house to poop of course that's weird who does that but maybe he knows maybe he knows it's weird maybe he gets home to his wife and he's like i went over to to ted's again after golf and i just had to poop in his toilet again and he doesn't have like it's not really made for it i i feel like i have to rush it i'm not enjoying it it's like i'm comfortable he doesn't
Starting point is 00:43:58 like for it you know he he asked me to like he asked me to go up to his bedroom to do it and i had to go through his sex room full of all of his weird toys i mean it's fucking bare ass is like on your seat and stuff gross like that's really gross i don't want that guy's bare ass it's very sweaty any part you thought that someone coming to the house was going to be an assassin like you guys are insanely paranoid no not really but yes you think someone's shitting on your house is some kind of statement lewis has a point you do never know you never know it's just crazy you guys are crazy you can't be 100 sure on these things who gets possessive about it it's a
Starting point is 00:44:37 fucking toilet i just don't get it people are weird people you're weird you're weird you're fucking weird people all the time flax lets people come over to his house and take their pants off and shit on his furniture that's gross you're weird i like how we started this podcast with nothing you could ever say would offend me too much now look where we are now we've had a falling out about one of our oldest topics no but honestly there's definitely like some i feel like okay we need to move on let's say it was the 1920s okay a time when uh it was you know a much more conservative time right in in society as we know it right like uh women weren't allowed to even show their ankles and and stuff like that right in the 20s
Starting point is 00:45:33 yeah do you think in like the 20s it would have been okay for you to invite somebody over and for them to poop in your house um bearing in mind that you would have had one of those chain pull toilets like the chain on a hundred years ago yes i don't think anybody was shitting at anyone's house back to me this weakens your case because what you're saying is that society should not have moved on from the 1920s i don't even think women could vote in the nights. No, no. What I want is sort of like a Bioshock reality, modern reality, where some things are still like they were in the 1920s, but clearly a lot of things are modern. It would be that people would be a little bit more aware of how gross it is for somebody to shit in your house. But then everything else is just like as it is modern and nice and comfortable and stuff like that. I suspect that the people of the 1920s, having been through World War I, had bigger things on their mind than whether someone was pooping in their house. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:46:42 I mean, you're thinking like back in the day, there were obviously people use chamber pots and stuff i guess it would be a guest i think people i think there was there i think definitely back then people would shit in a hole in their backyard more than they'd just be fine would be acceptable these days i mean the toilets were outdoors if you're talking about working class people in britain okay in the 1920s they had an outhouse at the bottom of the show now an outhouse i don't care who shits in it, okay? If I had a toilet that was not inside my house and somebody came over to my house and they shit in my outside toilet, I would be fine with that.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Hang on a second. I've had a few shits in your house, Sips. How do you feel about knowing that? It's different. If a guest is coming to your house and they've just been on a plane, that there it's different if if you're if a guest is coming to your house and they've just been on a plane i think there's it's a difference there's an excuse i think you can sort of say all right this this guy has nowhere else to go and take a shit airplane just about have you ever tried pooping on an airplane toilet it's really hard for some reason
Starting point is 00:47:41 i can't do it no i've never done it sometimes i really need to go i don't know if it's the pressure i don done it. Sometimes I really need to go. I don't know if it's the pressure. I don't know if it's my fear of turbulence. I don't know what it is. That's the other thing. It's this whole experience, right? Because there's almost always a queue, right, as well. So first of all, you see a queue at the toilet. You're like, I'll wait until the queue goes down.
Starting point is 00:47:58 And then eventually the queue goes down and you get in the queue and there's still a couple of people in the queue. And then it takes 10 minutes because someone's been really slow. And they look at you in the eye as they walk past you're like okay that was a bit weird eventually you go in there it smells really weird it's like a mixture of people pooping and chemicals and like it's like a hospital it's just really noisy it smells like crotches in there doesn't also you're quite worried about the toilet itself because it's just this kind of dry like funnel it's got that fucking and you're supposed to just crotch smell to it doesn't it supposed to just drop a sausage in there and then like you know
Starting point is 00:48:29 hopefully it'll suck it down and i don't know like there there is just this if you can't get it they're really the very low toys a very small uncomfortable position i've always been scared to poop on a plane because of that urban myth from years ago where that lady um flushed the toilet of the plane while she was still sitting on it and it sucked her insides out remember that one yeah that's a great that's a classic jacuzzi sit on the suction yeah the suction yeah you gotta be out or sucked out her gutty works yeah you want to be i don't believe that but uh i do still yeah part of you believes it. I still do think about it.
Starting point is 00:49:05 Even though it's never happened again somehow. No, no. And no one has any evidence of it. No. You're still not 100% sure. That's the power of the urban legend. Well, that's just why I think that people coming to my house are assassins as well, Flax. Happens all the time, dude.
Starting point is 00:49:20 Yeah. I know it's irrational, but I feel like it'll keep me safe anyway. It is irrational. That's true. time dude yeah i know it's irrational but i feel like it'll keep me safe anyway it is a rational this whole time this whole podcast i've been thinking at the back of my mind about which different sorts of lollipops would fit would work as dildos hey you know what coming back they're very cold coming back to that subject i don't know why there aren't more novelty things like what like you know what about making a flashlight but it's like a novelty like fake flashlight made out of the same material as they make dildos or like um you know like like
Starting point is 00:49:53 ice lollies and stuff what else would fit like nice like what about like a fake gun like a rubber gun made out of dildo material you want to stick a fake gun up your butt i personally mean no but i'm sure somebody out there would like to maybe like some role play or something like that this is a nice idea what role play is that don't do it officer shut it up your ass no not one one park ticket too many harry i can see why you've got your name They come into your house and you think they're an assassin But no They hate to fuck you with that gun
Starting point is 00:50:27 Take a gun out and start greasing it up No I'll show this gun up your ass boy No please I feel like it would be a lot more comfortable If it was made out of dildo material Whatever that is What are dildos made out of? Steel, cold hard steel
Starting point is 00:50:43 What material Are dildos i think it's like rubberized all the rings would have been different if aragon's sword was just a giant dildo that had been broken by sauron years ago in battle the dildo of elendir or whatever the fuck it was called rubber it's just a dildo in bits they're just made of rubber reforge the great dildo and aragon goes into battle with it change it somebody do that edit it so he's just a dildo in bits. They're just made of rubber. And the elves reforge the great dildo and Aragorn goes into battle with it. Change it. Somebody do that. Edit it so he's waving a giant dildo around.
Starting point is 00:51:09 I'd love to see it. Here you go. Listen to this. A dildo is an object usually designed for sexual penetration of the vagina, mouth, or anus and is usually solid and phallic in shape. What are you shoving it in your mouth for? We know what they are. Penis prosthetic aids known as extensions are not considered dildos.
Starting point is 00:51:26 Some include penis-shaped items clearly designed for vaginal penetration, even if they are not true approximations of a penis. Some people include devices designed for anal penetration, butt plugs, while others do not. People of all genders and sexual orientations often use these devices for masturbation or for other sexual activity. So it's just like latex. It's like rubber, which apparently has a – it's a latex material commonly used to make dildos.
Starting point is 00:51:56 It has a pungent odor and often causes allergic reactions. Nice. Jesus, that's an awkward allergy. That is – yeah, it's an awkward analogy that is uh yeah it's an awkward one so yeah so maybe like maybe make some latex um like some rubbery you know like what about uh like a rubbery um mobile phone you know that you can stick in your ass if you want to because people i bet you that's the thing already right because there's been people use the vibrate thing yeah on their phones people there have been cases where people have had phones lodged in their uh their their anuses and their vajazzles yeah it's like the vibrate function on the place but i guess
Starting point is 00:52:36 that's it they have to be their desire i guess that's the only reason that they are putting them up there because of the vibration right like, why would you put a phone in your back door, you know? Well, I mean... Because, I don't know, you've got people use, like, anything that's a hand. It's like a bottle here, you know? I mean, like, there's always, like, stuff shaped like TV remote. What's wrong with a classic root vegetable, ladies? Huh?
Starting point is 00:53:00 Carrot? Not good enough for your parsnip? I don't think you want to use that stuff because it's not it's not like swipe clean you know yeah it's natural you can't be allergic can people be allergic but you don't want to get your you don't want to get your hoo-ha filled up you don't want to get your hoochie-coochie filled up with carrot bacteria you're not gonna go and dig it out of the ground and straight away i'm gonna give it a scrubbing you don't want i mean you're happy to eat a carrot but you wouldn't fuck a carrot is what you're saying I just don't like all the organic material going in there
Starting point is 00:53:28 It feels like you're going to have to wash it out I think if a carrot is going to be in my body It's going to be in my stomach and nowhere else Or the butt I wouldn't put that in my butt I think if I was going to Put things in my butt I would make sure that they were made
Starting point is 00:53:44 Out of the same thing that dildos are made out of, latex. I would put latex only in my butt, I think. But what if you turn out to be allergic and your butt just swells up? Well, then I don't know. Like a bee stung your anus. I don't know what to say. I mean, I'm sure that people do shove vegetables and stuff up their butts and their coochie-coochies. You can't be that choosy.
Starting point is 00:54:07 If you're letting someone put their dick up your butt, how can you then be choosy about a root vegetable? Dicks are filthy. They're teeming with bacteria. They're fucking gross. Speak for yourself, P-Flex. They're disgusting. Do you know how many bacteria there are on the average Johnson?
Starting point is 00:54:21 I bet it's a hell of a lot. And you're telling me that you're turning your nose up or your butt up at a carrot. You're saying, oh, no carrot. Cock for me, please. Cocks are filthy. I'm not saying that I want somebody's dick in my ass either, though, Flax. This is.
Starting point is 00:54:34 Right, but I'm saying I don't put stuff up my butt. But if I was, I would be less choosy. Right. I wouldn't be thinking, well, this isn't very hygienic, is it? Neither is a dick. No, I wouldn't want a dick in my ass either. I think what I would want if I was gonna have anything in my ass i would want a completely sterile um rubber um i don't know whatever gun revolver
Starting point is 00:54:56 something novelty the magnum yeah or a d-gun i want to fit a fucking nebuchadnezzar of champagne up there. The biggest champagne bottle they got. Yeah, why not? Shove it up my butt. What, a rubber one or a glass one? No, just an actual one. What about like a really big pickle jar? Thick end first.
Starting point is 00:55:16 And then I want you to put me face down and I want them to smack the end off with a saber and all the champagne shoots out of my ass. Jesus Christ. There you go. Man, I know Lewis's golf fantasy. That's how we're going to christen the boat. The ship.
Starting point is 00:55:31 The glass has got a champagne fantasy. We're buying a boat now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're going to bend over and just christen that bad boy. The queen is going to use the saber to chop the end off the bottle. I now christen this ship. What's it going to be called hey this the c fuck so listen i um moving on from this uh this topic i have watched and enjoyed uh the challenger docuseries that was on what a segue yeah going from champagne up the butt to the challenge well i'll tell you what if somebody
Starting point is 00:56:05 if somebody made a miniature uh rubber um challenger space shuttle i'd love for that to explode in my ass well i wasn't gonna say that so much but um you know what i mean you're watching the challenge of disaster which is a terrible moment absolutely exploration your first incredibly a latex one of those would fit up my that was not my first thought at all uh second third the the series was very interesting it's very good um and i recommend watching it the o-ring yeah i'm kind of i remember it really well and being absolutely horrified and i'm kind of absolutely yeah i don't really want to in my with my current fragile mental state, I don't think watching some recreation of horror is a good idea.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Well, it was just such a sad event, wasn't it? It really was, yeah. Because they had the teacher. That's it, yeah. It was awful. These guys who were very, like, it was kind of the first sort of multi, like, gender, multi-ethnic kind of mission. It was, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:04 Before that, all the astronauts like star trek the next generation year old white guys yeah it was like we're gonna this is like star trek the next generation we're putting this diverse crew into space this is like a great moment and then that happened it was terrible it's a shame because it was absolutely preventable as well and i think um now that they've sort of gone through it there was a lot of people who made the decision to go ahead with the launch who were covering up the fact that they've sort of gone through it there was a lot of people who made the decision to go ahead with the launch who were covering up the fact that they knew that there were issues with uh the the solid rocket boosters the o-rings and especially they had evidence at the time that um
Starting point is 00:57:38 launching in cold weather especially uh had a negative effect on the integrity of the O-rings. It was one of Feynman's big last sort of studies, wasn't it, that he did before he died. And it brought him sort of into the spotlight again, Richard Feynman. That's right, yeah. He was this wonderful science, well, he worked in the top, but he was a brilliant communicator, brilliant scientist, just really just one of the great scientists really someone to look up to
Starting point is 00:58:06 in terms of um yeah he was involved i'm sure i'm sure the documentary has a bunch of he got involved uh basically reagan put together kind of like a um like a board to investigate what happened um and he was involved in that as like a scientist. And when they started finding out about the O-ring and everything, that's when he started really looking into it and found that they had all of this stuff documented. But it was being hidden from the board that were investigating at the time. You know, like they even asked like the one guy who sort of signed off and said, we're okay to launch they said like did you know anything about this and he's like oh maybe i don't know not really but like it turns out they'd had a meeting uh which was like a mission critical meeting the night before the launch where all of the engineers in the room said do not do this like wow and he was just like no you can't prove that anything's
Starting point is 00:59:05 gonna go wrong we're going ahead sort of thing and it's just like what the fuck yeah so yeah totally preventable unfortunately uh but really interesting and and sort of like uh talks about uh some of the other um aspects of like the space shuttle program and and everything it's just really good really well done really good i watched a really good movie on it at some point um but yeah relatively recently so i know quite a lot about it but yeah i really i really it's a really sad moment i've been doing a lot of that reading like history stuff reading about um viking invasions and stuff in the wake of ck3 reading about 1066 because that happened today um harold of norway was defeated at stanford bridge
Starting point is 00:59:48 you know so we'll have poor old um poor old harold who was in charge of um england anglo-saxon england was dual invaded in 1066 by norway and france it was like a double team wasn't really double team even back then he was getting He was getting hit from both ends. Jesus. So yeah, I guess the Norwegians came in the mouth and William came up the ass. And there was no latex back then either for the swords. I'm sorry, everyone. Fuck me, man.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Just being so crude. You're the worst. But that was sort of what happened. No, yeah. Like, if you think of England as, like, in the shape of, like, a person. Yeah. Like, you think of Italy as a foot. England kind of looks like a laughing man sometimes.
Starting point is 01:00:34 No, it's a dude riding a pig. Dude riding a pig. Okay. Yeah, that sounds right. England's the pig, is it? No, Wales is the pig. No offense, Wales. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 01:00:41 You've got to look at it. You've just got to look at it. Look at a map of the UK. Wales is the pig's face, and there's a dude riding it I'm not even kidding okay no I'll check that out I think that's enough
Starting point is 01:00:52 podcasting for today is it really? you don't want to you don't want to make any amends before we leave or anything you don't get nothing else to lighten the mood
Starting point is 01:01:00 people know what they've been listening to this is not unusual some people say it's like a witch riding a pig. Or an old man. Norfolk is the pig's butt. Ireland is like a little dog running away from the man and the pig.
Starting point is 01:01:13 Right. All right, let's stop the podcast. We're all drifting off into our own shit now. All right, well, thanks for listening, everyone. We'll see you next week. Bye!

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