Triforce! - Triforce! #147: Nine Year Olds playing Among Us

Episode Date: October 14, 2020

Triforce! Episode 147! Sips has been getting spooked in Phasmophobia, Pyrion's golf career takes an incredibly depressing turn and Lewis has some top tips for lying in Among Us! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello and good morning everyone and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. That's right. Oh, we're back again. Back once again. I'm so glad you've managed to join us. You've caught us at an awkward time. We were just about to start our podcast. Just, just, we were just gearing up.

Our trousers were down. Yeah. We'll fill, we'll fill until we'll fill until we're looking over our shoulders saying, oh, this is awkward. Yeah. But yeah. Crikey. Well, what have you, what, what a week it's been?

Oh, tell me about it. Wow. Oh, so much. Jeez, man. We got a lot to cover. Like, um, Google sent me one of those notifications this morning, right? That says like your, you know, I can't remember what the thing is. I can look it up.

It's like, it like basically just tracks where you've been on your map. Your timeline. That's what it's called. I look at that all the time. It's fascinatingly boring. My Google timeline is my flat and the office. Yeah. Literally that for like months and months.

There's like, I haven't been anywhere. I've walked, I think I walked like up the road once to wilco i think i walked like to to cab at once to get like uh i don't know to have lunch or something when it was less bad but but i don't know it's funny i'm either uh yeah for me i'm either here uh in the garage or at my Gumar's house. And that's about it. It might as well say, like, fuck you. Fucking loser. You lazy fucker. Not only that, though.

Ha ha, fuck you. And we know where you've been. And we can use this information against you. So speaking of tracking what you do, I watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix. Now, all the parents I know have watched that. Is it worth watching? I think it is worth watching, yeah. So they've basically got a bunch of guys who are like five years older than me. I suppose, actually, it's probably about your age, actually, you guys.

Yeah. And they- Wait, how old are you? I'm 36, 37 in a week's time. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, we got you a birthday card, by the way. Oh, thanks. Oh, I didn't. Happy birthday. Oh, yeah, that's okay. I already told you about it now. So now you have to get me a birthday card. That's how it works. Well, I can't be disappointed. You could if you missed it, you could then say I didn't get you anything. That's fine. This goes out, it'll already have been your birthday. So

technically, I have missed it. Anyway, it's basically they've got all these tech guys, right, who worked for Google, the guy who designed Gmail, the guy who designed the Facebook like button. Yeah. Like about 20 guys and a couple of women, too, who were involved. Right. The guy who basically joined Facebook to make sure it monetized and figured out how to monetize Facebook, which was ads, you know, basically he was like,

Google use ads. So I think we're going to use ads. What a revelation. It was that. And they basically, all these guys who designed all this stuff in a, in a sort of very hooky, addictive way now have sort of left those respective companies.

Cause I assume they've made enough money or they've had a they've appear they certainly appear in the movie to have had this awakening right um where they now believe that all these social media sites are ethically compromised and and and and basically the way they sort of work is wrong. Right. Because one of the quotes is, the classic quote, is the only two groups of people who call their customers users are drug dealers and social media companies. Right. Because you are the product.

That's the idea of the movie, right? You're what's for sale. Right. If you're using a service and it's free you're the product so they they basically expose how i don't know suicide rates amongst sort of teenagers have gone up about 150 in the last sort of 10 years and talk about how it's very damaging for young people to use these these. It's also very like, I don't know, it hurts your self-esteem. It hurts like the things you're exposed to. You're exposed to things that are wrong and lies.

The whole thing around, I don't know, rabbit holes. It's a really interesting documentary about how all these people who made this technology, ostensibly for good, or at least for neutral, they didn't care what it was doing, but the fact that it was made by like 40 guys and it's used by 3 billion people and the effects of it, like the mental effects and the effects on sort of democracy are,

if not poorly understood, at least like very risky in a sense. And these guys who were interviewed for the documentary are certainly very much convinced that it's going to lead to the end of the world. Gosh. Or at least, yeah, the end of the world as we know it. Yeah. So it's very spooky.

Very spooky movie. Do you recommend it or is it going to make me anxious? I don't think it's going to make you anxious. I think it's going to make you anxious i think it's stuff that it's interesting um i think it has a few sort of a little bit strong messages that will make you roll your eyes you're like okay um right is it a little bit a little bit of hyperbole how how much will my eyes roll when i yeah what kind of percentage like only only a little bit like a full half or a full round? There's like a 5%.

Maybe it's like 130 of the roll. So you'll do a little roll. I think movies have to do this, right? They have to have a lot of this. Because when I left a movie, when I finished watching it, I was like, oh, yeah, totally makes sense. I'm going to quit social media. I'm going to delete my Facebook. I'm going to delete my Facebook.

I'm going to go to the gym again. I don't know. It had that effect almost to try and make it want to change. And then always when you watch something like this, though, that effect fades after a week. And so the movie has to be strong enough that it stays convincing after a week. So it's fairly persuasive. It's written quite persuasive. And that's good. It's good. It's fairly persuasive you know it's written quite

it's persuasive yeah that's good it's good it's interesting i'd watch it i'd watch it it's yeah crazy who would have thought a that living your whole life through social media would have been a bad thing you know it's really gripping to to hear from all these people and see see some of the people behind these systems that we use every day. Did you ever see the Senate hearings, I think they're called, where you get a bunch of senators out there and they grill these tech guys about stuff. It's like senators failing to understand the internet, I think. Yeah, those are always great, aren't they? He's holding up a phone.

If I've got my phone here, my telephone, my mobile telephone device, I'm on one side of my living room, and I get up and I walk to the other side. Are you tracking that information? Do you know which side of the living room I'm on? That's all I want to know. Now, if I got a cup of coffee and went upstairs, is the phone – do you know that I've got coffee upstairs? Senator, I don't think. Can you, just for argument's sake, obviously this would never happen, but would the phone be able to tell if there were multiple prostitutes inside my house while I'm walking, pacing

up and down in my living room? If I'm doing line after line of coke off my phone credit card one of those credit cards with a chip in it does the chip and the phone do they talk to each other and say this guy's had too much coke or is that recorded in some some database somewhere some some underground bunker i mean it's an exaggeration but like you know if if if you could hear like the a stream of consciousness coming from these people uh oftentimes it would be shit like that right like most of the people in these positions are just fucking clowns like it's crazy you're right it's it's the same situation everyone's only sort of focused on

on themselves really in their own problems it's the classic thing of you know everyone's only sort of focused on on themselves really in their own problems it's the classic thing of you know everyone's always paranoid about their own their own looks you know oh i've got a spot on my nose and everyone's gonna be looking at it yeah no one's looking at that they're worried about the spot on their own what's the what's the old saying you'd be you'd be more offended by how little people actually notice you or think of you than uh than than than the other right like uh the things that you think that people are noticing you for or looking at you for um they they're not the the hard truth is is they don't give a fuck about you and they pay no attention to you and they're not noticing anything about you even if you died they'd probably not really notice straight away she's harsh i know

but true you'd have a weekend of bernie's style situation yeah we're propping up your dead body here is a little sleepy on the stream today just being propped up by a stick with a pair of sunglasses on we could do a podcast where one of the members of the podcast is dead the whole uh the whole that social media thing, I've seen it on Netflix a couple of times and I thought like, maybe I'll watch it or whatever. And now I've just decided,

you know what? I just don't give a shit about that. And I find the whole topic so depressing and like, I don't really spend a lot of time on social media. What little time I do spend on it, it's usually just joking around or like posting pictures of my tortoise or something.

You know what I mean? Like it doesn't really, I'm not invested in it at all. You know what I mean? It doesn't really have like a negative or positive effect on me. I don't really- I mean, I saw you tweet the other day,

the word whatever. That was it. No context. I didn't know what it was related to. Just the word whatever. It was off the back of multiple tweets where I said I was going to no just the word whatever it was it was off the back of multiple tweets where i said i was gonna play a game with hat films but it's that phasma phantastic phobia thing that one yeah i forgot the name of it and i i tweeted out a couple of

different iterations of that of one of them being like i think fanta and then the the last tweet was just uh whatever like i didn't know i see if it's not lazy to even look it's not in thread form oh yeah in my mind it was it was pretty it's pretty great bunch of people have literally bought the wrong game and uh loaded it up and they've got fucking downloaded they got fantastic gory pantophobia where you have to go to a pantomime uh and you're shit scared of it's a scary pantomime oh is that what it is i thought it was sort of one of those anime games where it's like you have to match the cubes together and it reveals yeah have you guys have you guys played this uh fat phasma phasma gorya rithian told me that it's just you just walk

around a house saying john mill Miller, are you there? Yeah. Can anyone hear me? Like over and over and over again. And I thought, nah. It's all, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's fun for like a session with like some people. I played with half films.

It was like fun enough. Like I'm, I'm not going to really like. Those guys are great fun. I, you know, anything with them is fun. We fucking Monopoly was fun with those guys. Yeah. Yeah. That was really good too.

It does feel like the trends currently are lurching. There's been this sort of thing where Fall Guys was this massive, massive thing, right? Really popular. And then it kind of lurched into Among Us, which is obviously very popular as well. And now it's sort of some proportions of Twitch have lurched into Phasmagoria or whatever. It's this odd, horary VR game that obviously isn't for everyone and has no sticking power, but it certainly feels like it's a good for a cheap fright.

The idea of it, it's, it's a shame. It's kind of like, it's kind of like a summary of gaming nowadays. It feels like it's such a good idea for a game, but it's like 10% of a game because it's made by like a guy like it's such a good idea for a game but it's like 10 of a game because it's made by like a guy and it's not done and everybody is just like really likes this idea

and the promise of this like really cool game in the end but it's going to take years for it to get there if it even gets there at all because of the way things are with early access and stuff like that and it's just a little bit sad that you're sort of like your your excitement for gaming is lumped into these uh people or like studios or like just one developer who can who might not even be able to deliver meanwhile like i can't remember the last time i was really excited for a big triple a game you know what i mean like cyberpunk 2077 or whatever you're not interested for i mean i'm interested enough i'm not like i'm not hyped like out of the world for it because i i think i just like a bit cynical with it all now like i i i kind of know like or in my mind i think

like i know what kind of game it's going to be i know like the sort of format that it's going to be um and and you know what i mean? Like I'll probably play it. I'll probably enjoy it. Aldersgate 3 is in early access. That looks really good. That looks really good too. Yeah. I mean that, but these are like, you know,

these are like a couple of examples. This is certainly what you're talking about though, early access. Yeah. I mean like, I think it's certainly. Aldersgate, you can play like 15% of it and then you have to wait for them to finish the rest of it. I'm actually going to, personally, I'm just going to wait till it's finished. Yeah. it i'm actually gonna my my personally i'm just

gonna wait till it's it's finished yeah i mean you know like uh like subnautica like below zero is the same i'm just waiting for them to finish that i want to play it that you know what that was a game i should have played for such a long time and everyone's saying you should play subnautica and i was like oh because i tried streaming it on my old machine it couldn't handle the framework was awful it was just like my machine couldn't handle streaming it on my old machine. It couldn't handle... The framework was awful. It was just... My machine couldn't handle streaming it and playing it. And I thought, I don't really want to play this off stream.

But so when I got my new machine, smooth as a... As smooth as a gentle underwater current. No, I was trying to make it nautical. That's very smooth. Oh, like smooth as a penguin's... As smooth as a gentle underwater current. As smooth as a cashmere sweater. As smooth as a penguin's... As smooth as a gentle underwater current. As smooth as a cashmere sweater. As smooth as a clam's cheek.

There we go. A clam's cheek. But you guys, you know what I mean, though. Like, these games... I remember being really excited for, like, Diablo 3. I just thought. I was really hyped for it. I was really looking forward to just, like,

kind of like I was with WoW, you know, or, like, something like that, you know? I was just like, just like ah this is this big meaty game that i can really get into i'm really excited to play it like i love like the the the sort of setting and the lore and stuff like that and i i don't know like it feels like all the really big studios are just making these really really really formulaic safe games, right? Like there's nothing, there's nothing like that's really coming out from like a big studio that's like really like, you know, pushing any sort of like new boundaries or not that I can think of anyway.

I don't know. I'm probably wrong. I'm sure there's examples of stuff that's been really good or whatever, but. I mean, Red Dead Redemption 2 was amazing. Yeah, that was amazing. Safety is part of this system, though. It's the same thing I'm going through at the moment where I'm reaching out. And I'm sort of constantly, I'm so bipolar on it almost

because some days I'll feel super positive after someone says, oh, yeah, I'm interested in joining the Jingle Jam. And then the next day when they come back to me and say, oh, yeah, the two layers of suits above me have said no, you know, and I'm like, you know, disappointed. It's like I'm constantly having these things dangled in front of me and then ripped away. And I think I understand like that it happens

because someone in that chain of suits is like, well, you know, I don't want to risk my job for this. If this goes sideways or if this backfires or if this looks bad or if this someone says this lost us some sales you know that's i don't want to lose my job it's not worth my why bother why join this thing you know and so that's why conventionally in the jingle jam we can't get big companies involved yeah because of the corporate nature of people being scared too scared to yeah take a to to help yeah um or do yeah or do anything it seems like that unless it unless it involves them just like raking in more millions somehow like for for very little effort and i think

innovation is tough like you see it happen in all sorts of things um where people are given i think given sort of free reign to be creative. And sometimes without that direction and the guidance, things fall apart. Like, you know, the Vampire Bloodlines, the Masquerade 2 recently kicked off their sort of head guy. And then, I mean, back in the day, obviously, Richard Garriott, he broke up with NCSoft, didn't he? When they were sort of trying to make his game that was quite innovative.

And he sort of didn't really, I mean,? When they were sort of trying to make his game that was quite innovative and he sort of, he, he was sort of didn't really, and he, I mean, he's a legendary sort of game. He went to space. He's been to space. Richard Garrett. Yeah. Yeah. I've got a story about Richard Garrett. Um, have you listened just before the Richard Garrett story? I just want to, just to, just to cap this off. I just want to say, I, I thought phasmophobia was, was kind of cool. I really liked the idea of it and stuff. But my takeaway of it was I felt like I wish that this wasn't being made by one person. I wish that a big studio would have really put some time and effort into making this game really awesome from the get-go. Being able to upgrade your ghostbusting hideout and and having more stuff to do and

maybe like hooking you into the game a bit more rather than it just being this sort of like i don't know almost like a gimmicky party game you know what i mean which is at best what it can be right now given that it's the efforts of one guy right like i just i i just that's how i felt i just thought why couldn't like uh you know why couldn't like a blizzard or like a big studio make a cool game like this? That's never their kind of game. No, I know it's not their kind of game. It's just an example.

Somebody who has some money that could actually say, here's a fucking great idea for a game. Let's make this cool game because it's a cool game. I don't think you need, for a game like that, I don't think you even need a huge studio. No. Just more than one dude. Yeah.

Like, I think even five or six people. It just made me think of things generally, and I just thought it is a little bit of a shame that we're just sort of given the same old shit every year, just like a fucking, just like slight changes from the last year's game or whatever, when, you know, there's all these great ideas of games. Yeah, I mean, the big studios, I think,

once you've reached that point where you're huge, you've lost the impetus to innovate because it's not worth it. Yeah, it's all about making money and pleasing shareholders. Exactly. So it's like, we just need to make a buttload of money this year. How can we do that? Well, what's worked before? And why take a risk?

I think it's like one of those bingo balls, bouncing ball machine things where the bingo ball bounces around and people put their hand in and they pluck out a fucking, Twitch plucks out a game at random. For every one of these Phasmophobia, which is a shitty game made by a single dev

with a kind of an okay idea that we've seen before in like 10 other games, but this one happens to be the one that gets popular. That's what happens. It's just someone, somehow one lucky game gets the momentum and it suddenly sells 10 million copies. And it's crazy because there are, there's probably literally a better version of this game out there, right?

But no one knows about it. It's buried in Steam somewhere. It was probably like 10 years ago. Do you know what I mean? And it's still better than this one. Well, you live in this bizarro world of and we can't predict like what's what's going to be the next one often these games don't have any merit you know and who knows how long this will last as well it's so weird we live in this it's such weird time yeah i don't know i all it all kind of to me it all joins together almost like the four guys brought everyone

together playing the same game and then they all fracture back out into these weird little uh titles and everyone spreads out and plays everything and then some game will come out and the next day pixelations or valerian or whatever it is it'll pull everyone back together again and everyone will be playing it because it's what you have to play because that's what people seem to be wanting to watch and it does feel like people are driven by that. It's like, I know if I play this stupid game on Twitch, I'll get twice as many views. So therefore, I'm going to play it. And I hate that.

And everyone says, I only play it because I want to play it. I only play games I like. You say that to any fucking pro Hearthstone player who's been streaming Hearthstone for five years. They hate that fucking game. They make a good show of it. Honestly, you couldn't tell. But they hate it. They'd make a good show of it honestly you could you couldn't tell but they hate it they'd rather be playing anything else but when they do when they try

they get 10 viewers instead of the 200 or 500 they need to live you know they're stuck it's their job they hate working on the production line of hearthstone and sure it's quite they're used to it and they're quite good at it now and stuff. But, you know, they don't love it. Like, they don't want to do it. Realistically, no, I can't imagine that you'd want to. You'd have to, like, have this just deep, deep, like, passionate love for the game. But of all the other things that you could be playing as well, there's like, you know, since Hearthstone's come out, there's been plenty been plenty of like better games to spend your time playing i'd like it's part of it definitely is like oh you know this is what i'm known for playing and i have to keep playing this or whatever i don't think anybody realistically

can play a game that long and love it but then again we got flax here who's played like 8 000 hours of dota 2 so 9 000 9 000 hours of dota 2 so maybe maybe we're wrong lewis maybe you know maybe we are he does love the game clearly i do play it that much he doesn't and flax uh we both know is not the kind of person who's just going to play something because it makes him popular or not like you know i mean if i if that was the case i wouldn't be playing dota yeah like dota is terrible to stream yeah if that was the case you'd be popular yeah right so i guess that kind of i i so there so there must be hearthstone streamers who are like that as well who are like flax who just literally just love the game i'm sure i don't want to play

anything else i know a bunch of dopa streamers that want to stream something other than dota and can't for the reasons that you've mentioned i also know a lot of variety streamers who play dota on the side yeah but would never stream it because their audience hates it yeah it's a it's a very niche crowd because unlike among us for example and i think this is the reason all of these games are popular is it's easy to see what's happening it's easy yeah you know what's happening in among us there are there are imposters and and you figure out who it is and that's that. With Dota, it's like, what is happening? Yeah, Among Us is like playing Mafia, is like playing TTT.

And the thing that makes it fun is that you're playing with a big group of people. So you're not, the focus isn't always just you and the responsibility isn't just always on you either, right? Not even just for streaming, but just for playing the game. Right. You know what I mean? If you have a decent little community of people yeah there's there's things that open up that can be

really fun about it and like i was saying the other day about uh on stream people were saying oh are you and lewis gonna play shadowlands when it comes out and i was like well you know maybe i wouldn't say like i wouldn't say because again, like I'm not particularly looking forward to Shadowlands coming out, the new WoW expansion. I haven't played any WoW since the first month of the last expansion that came out. You know what I mean? Like I'm not, I'm not into it. I don't really play it.

Apparently the last time I played was three expansions ago. Right. But there is something to be said for something that isn't anything to do with like WoW specifically. And that's that I still know people who play WoW. I have friends that I made through my time playing WoW that I'd be interested in just like catching up with and playing a bit of WoW with. And a new expansion sort of gives everybody that equal footing to do that, right? All right. So here's my question.

So there's still a huge market for MMOs. If you look at games like Eve and WoW, there's still a large number of people playing them. Now, what made those games successful and popular could easily work again with a new broad, large AAA MMO like WoW, which appeals to a huge number of people, wide range of age groups and everything like that. Where's the next big MMO? Why hasn't that... I know, what is it?

Black Desert Online is reasonably popular, but people just stopped doing them. For a while, every studio was making an MMO. I just wonder what changed that means that basically we haven't got a big new MMO. I mean, even WoW has been around for over a decade. People are still playing them. Out of all the MMOs that have come out, those are the two big ones. Well, apparently the Final Fantasy XIV, is it? Is like the best MMO out there right now.

You mean in terms of popularity? Quality, yeah. Quality and popularity. It's like, it's the best. I mean, didn't they try to do one for Fallout? Wasn't that Fallout 76? Yeah, Fallout 76. Yeah, technically, yeah.

So do you think the fact that some companies tried MMOs and fucked it up the wall is like, put all these other companies up, they're like, oh no, don't touch those. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, there's been so many failed MMOs that have cost a ton of money. The closest I've got is Tarkov,

which gives me kind of an MMO vibe. Yeah. In that I have a character, I grow skills, I have a hideout that I boost, and there's quests and there's loot, and you're fighting other players and AI, and there's kind of bosses and stuff. Sure.

That's the closest. And I would genuinely like a new MMO to get stuck into. I've got a Discord full of people that if it was a good game and we all played it, we'd all be playing that and we'd be streaming it yeah i mean rust when we play rust again similar kind of vibe to an mmo where you know it's just i wish that there was a bigger a bigger world that i actually liked a new mmo would be great i think that i think the big thing with a game like wow is that with rust there's setbacks right it's not yeah it's not a very linear progression if you like there's lots of ups and downs you can lose

your base yeah you can use lose a lot of work you can have shitty sessions where things just don't go well you know maybe you're fighting against a clan that just completely outclass you and it sucks so you might that might be your whole evening just fighting against this like insufferable clan that you're just not having fun fighting against and that and that's like not great right you know you don't really get that in wow like like everything is just like leading up to you raiding and then eventually raiding enough that you succeed at raiding you know what i mean like you there's never really any setbacks other than i didn't get the piece of loot that i wanted this week or or we're having trouble with this one boss because he's tough or whatever but like that that you know you you might do attempts on that in a night and it's not going to really ruin your night not doing it you know it's still a fun

experience i mean certainly in eve there were times it was like, Oh, we've lost a big battle. Eve is the same as rust in a lot of ways. Like there's, there's, there's consequences for actions and there's, there's toing and froing and there's dips and there's highs and lows and stuff. So talking about MMOs, Richard Garriott. Okay. So I met a guy at Valve, this was three or four years ago, and he'd worked on a ton of big games, and he knew Richard Garriott. And every Halloween, Richard Garriott, at his castle, which he built a castle. Yeah, because he was like Lord Britannia or whatever.

Right, Lord Britain, yeah. So he built this castle, and there would be this huge Halloween sort of party thing. And he would invite these people, like, I don't know, it could be a wide range of people. The people he knew, people that were like students, whatever, anybody that he would invite. And you came and it was like an adventure. And it had like pretty nutty production value. My friend described it as like kind of like a low budget film.

So there would be people flying overhead on zip lines with wings a sort of thing like you had a quest that you had to do for halloween and i thought that's fucking awesome yeah but i mean this is this guy's life right like this oh yeah like there's a segment on him on that netflix documentary high score i don't know if you guys watched it right about video games there's uh there's a an episode basically on dnd and sort of like the rise of like um role play games and adventure games on uh for pc richard garriott is like half of the episode basically talking about how he um i mean the guy was like 16 at school and he used this like their school had this computer that was used for one very

specific thing that the school didn't need to do so nobody used this computer it was just like in a back room collecting dust um and he was like oh can i use it to like make a like an adventure game for my friends like so in his spare time he'd go into this room and use this fucking like punch card computer to like make this this game like just from scratch sort of thing um that he would then distribute to his friends to play like that that's his whole life is making adventures for people to go on yeah it's nuts to be that sort of dedicated and passionate and that's like your whole your brain is just fixed that way sort of thing. It's kind of nuts.

But yeah, I'm not surprised. Like he's obviously got money now as well. So he can do these like sort of like big, intricately lavish, you know, real life role play experiences and stuff, which is kind of cool. So the interesting thing about his character, Lord Bridges, I don't know if you know about this, was that it's very, very famous in the video game world because i'm sure you guys know but basically originally he was um during the beta test of ultima online which was sort of

his kind of ultima online ultima ultima online ultima i always called it that like Ultima it's Ultima Online Ultima it's Ultima yeah whatever whatever online that was my last tweet whatever

he logged in to the server and did these sort of role playing events right and during one of them oh yes this is famous

somebody somebody cast this fire spell on him it's like a firewall and he just sort of stood in it thinking he was immune to it but he'd forgotten to flag himself as invulnerable and so he died right you know the thing and it was it was this huge event this this that reverberated around the world and sort of the assassin got banned and then, various... It sort of became this very first famous video game event. And so ever since, in every other Ultima game,

his character is almost impervious to player attacks. But there's like... Apparently in every Ultima game, there is a way to kill Lord British with an out of the box thinking right so like you can apparently like nudge him towards the docks and use one of these

NPC cannons to kill him it's still going Ultima Online did you guys ever play Ultima Online? I did yeah it was the first like kind of one of the first online games I ever played it was brutal. It was absolutely brutal.

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I played my first round of golf. Oh, nice. Well, technically my second, but my first since 2001. I played it last week on Sunday. And how did it go? You did nine holes? I did nine holes. It was easily the worst round of golf anyone has ever played.

And I'll tell you why. I went down for my lesson and I thought my lesson was going to be me and my instructor going around the course, like playing a round of golf and he'd give me some tips and help me out and stuff. But I went down there and he's like, all right, let's get going. I was like, okay. And so we went out there and it was just a standard lesson of us hitting the ball at the hole and him adjusting my swing for like 20 minutes.

And I was like, oh, and I got all my golf gear on and I have my clubs and I was like ready to play. And I thought I was going to play. So I went back to the clubhouse and I spoke to the secretary and I said, look, is there anyone that's going to like be bad at the game that I could do a round of golf with and we could just sort of learn together? And he was like, well, just have a look at the list and see who's playing and go and say hi and i was like geez this is hard because i don't know anybody so someone else said i overheard what you said i'll take you to a couple

of other new academy members and you can do a round of golf with them i was like that sounds perfect we can three scrubs get around together there'll be no judgment it'll be fun no problem so she introduces me to these two people god i've already like cringing it's bad to introduce me to these two guys and we're having a chat one of them is like in his 50s he's a he's an electrician he's a big northern irish guy right and he was like he was there drinking just pint after pint of lager and i was like this is good this is good it's good stuff the other guy is 16 he's incredible at golf he's been playing for two years This other guy had been playing his whole life. And I was like, they said that it was going to be like new academy members.

Like, oh yeah, we only just joined the academy. I was like, right. I was kind of hoping it'd be new to the game, but sure. So I said, do you mind if I join you? It'll be bad. Like, oh, don't worry. Don't worry if you crap. No problem.

We'll help you out. So I was like, all right, that's nice of them. So we get to the tee and we hit the first shot and their drives are like not bad but they're not great and i thought okay cool and i go to hit mine and it just rolls along the ground really fast like it just scuffed it sometimes or ping ping ping ping yeah but it's vaguely in the right direction i could not hit the ball like every time i'd swing i'd hit it it would be on the ground it would would be sliced unbelievably. It was taking forever to do like every hole. And I put it, the river on this course is like a foot wide. It's a tiny brook.

I managed to hit it in the river somehow. At one point I hit a tree. It went clunk, clunk, clunk, hit the tree and bounced and rolled exactly back to where I had taken the shot. And they just gave up. Like they were just playing on and waiting for me at the green to finish. So in the end, I was just kicking the ball into an area where I could hit it and just smashing it towards the hole and trying to get it over with. And I'd completely gone. Like I'd forgotten how to swing the club.

I could not hit it. Oh, P-Flex. Man, I would have just tried to like over-egg it at that point. I would have tried to get... You lost your mojo. Like exasperated mad, like, just to, like, sort of show that... No, I honestly just thought, I'm so embarrassed that these guys are clearly getting pissed off.

Like, they were just kind of standing there waiting. They're like, yeah, yeah, just get on with it sort of thing. And I was like, jeez, I thought they knew what they were getting into. Like, I literally said, this is my first round of golf. I've had a month of lessons. I'm going to be terrible. And they were like, oh, yeah, don't know. No, fine. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Two holes in, they'd had enough. I like okay so i i just basically think that they've gone off to have

like this deep meaningful friendship off the back of their experience with you like imagine they stayed in touch and they could have bonded yeah they're like become like friends on like social media and they're like hey how's the wife doing stan oh you know billy not not too bad things that it's not as bad as that time we played golf with that fucking guy you know what i mean nothing is as bad as that they could have it was so bad um and then oh no so seven holes into the nine holes that we were going to play i just thought fuck this i i'd lost the ball i i i had disappeared into some tree. I thought, fuck this.

So I said, you go and finish it. No, you take six. But I thought, I don't want to lose any more because that's what's going to happen. So I just said, just go ahead and finish the round. I'll see you guys later. And they were like, okay, bye. And they couldn't wait to get away.

So I suddenly looked at my watch and it's like quarter to five. And I was like, oh, I better get home. And so I'm driving home and I've realized I've missed the sad walk home. I know, I know. I'm driving home and I suddenly realized I've got like eight missed calls from Mrs. F. Wait, did you have your hands in your pocket and were you like kicking a stone? Literally.

Like down the road with your head like hanging low and stuff? Sad little golf clubs there. I've got a bit of mud on me. know yeah it was like that and mrs f i get home she's like are you ready to take our youngest to her drama club i was like oh fuck it was like 10 to 5 starts at 5 and i just forgotten i'd just been literally the golf dad who's just out on the course forgets about his family completely so it was like double bad i I felt awful. So we quickly rushed to drama. We managed to get there in time. So it was just like a shit, shit day.

And for like three days afterwards, I was like really bummed out about how badly it had gone. I had all these visions of it going better. And yeah, I'd fucking slice some shots, but I'd be able to hit the fucking ball. When I went to the driving range, I could hit it. Like I was hitting it. But once you see all that grass,

it's so intimidating. did you choke or something or did it or was it like you were so you were rushing to catch up no I just like every shot I'd go to take are you you start overthinking it and honestly when you look and you see the course and all that grass you see other people to the right and the left at the driving range the worst thing that happens if you miss hit the shot is you just have to miss hit a shot whereas here it's like now i have to go and hit that like it's in the fucking bushes and now i have to deal with that or it's gone into someone else's fairway on another fucking hole so now i'm holding up someone else's game oh my god this this reminds me of every time i would go to pitch and putt when i was like a teenager or whatever my parents they'd sometimes take go to pitch and putt when I was like a teenager or whatever with my parents.

They'd sometimes take me to pitch and putt and I was fucking terrible as well. And I would slice the ball off into someone else's fucking, on someone else's green and be like, oh, sorry, there's like a family there, like angrily staring me down as I fucking hoof it back towards where my family is. Oh, it was bad.

It was bad. Yeah. But yeah, it was just one of those things. We're not made for it, people. No, I just honestly shouldn't. Don't let it pull you back. No, I just shouldn't have tried to play around without more practice. But at the time I was hitting the ball fine.

I was like, okay, let's do this. So I'm just going to go back to the driving range and hit some more balls and just try and get back into it. Maybe have some more lessons. Driving range is good. You should go do some mini golfing as well. Like use the putting greens and stuff. That can be helpful too.

The pitch and putt where it's literally, rather than be sort of like hit it through the windmill it's more like yeah an actual approach shot and putting that's much better practice we've got one over here where it's like there's there's two so there's like crazy golf which has the windmills right right and then there's just mini golf with with which is kind of more like challenging greens right like it's not like there's a couple of slopes and stuff but nothing like there's not like huge like like crazy obstacles right you don't have to like hit it between stones and stuff like that for the most part it is just sort of like you know practicing uh putting on a green sort of thing which is kind of nice and the driving range approach shot man i love the driving range like i of nice. And the driving range. Approach shot. Man, I love the driving range.

I used to love going to the driving range. I don't even play. It's great fun. I don't even, I've never played a round of golf on a golf course, but I've been to a driving range like dozens of times. It's so much fun. The one that I, the one that you made, it's amazing. It's got a computerized system that tracks exactly where your ball has gone. I would honestly, I would do that a couple of times a week.

It's great. If I had that like that like available i mean that's my plan yeah the problem is the course was closed for like four days because of all this rain right um and it's been so fucking windy and wet i kind of thought geez and also just it's been quite busy this weekend but i i want to go back to the uh the driving range and hit some i love hearing periods golf adventures yeah it's it's like it was like i hope it's like a an anime redemption story where you know you've had this like down but there's it's gonna this is the this is like the nadir and then it will climb to the highest point zenith yeah from your i'm hoping it's only uphill from here people yeah yeah i mean that was your most embarrassing moment

yeah i figure it's either gonna make or break my uh my golf experience it's like if the next 10 times i play it's as bad as that i'll probably i love that i love this lengthy segue like into retirement for you like you're already sort of i'm already on the road you're on the road there yeah the thing is you have been terrible at Dota for years, and that's never stopped you. I don't think Flax is terrible at Dota. You haven't seen the in-houses. I do in-houses on a Tuesday night.

I'm only joking. Those guys are terrible. I think that, like, I think he's pretty, I'd say he's, like, an average Dota player, which is saying so because it's a hard game and a lot of people are less than average at it. It's the only possible game where you feel terrible after playing a thousand hours you know i mean i played like any other video game like i played some fucking lord of the rings i was playing

shadows of war this week because i felt like i played a bit lord of the rings and i saw i hadn't played i thought i thought you know shadows of mordor was good i'll play a bit shadows of war played it within like fucking two hours I'm like back flipping onto an orc and like fucking stabbing them in the eyes and doing I'm like the feeling like the most the pro-est gamer of all time you know um and you know I just think any other game like a regular game that you play an hour is not long enough for you to not be a complete fucking noob like name another but that's what conventional games are right this must be sort of yeah fun and make you feel powerful but but but in anything with players involved you know like playing among us i feel like the stupidest

guy yeah well it's because you're playing with people who have played it far more than you as well like we we had we had this as well we were playing with like ped and like xylus and stuff one day and occasionally it really shows that they played the game a lot more than everybody else because they just they know how to lie they know they know when to lie they know they have these they know these mechanical things about the games that you wouldn't really pick up on straight away and stuff tell me about it like like we're playing we we recorded a video for for the main channel because i thought it would be fun to do one with like 10 people and in like in the first round ravs is like was that a stat kill and i was like what's

a stack kill and then like jeremy and then it was like oh but he wasn't in his he was in the queue for the med bay and i was like what was that was that there's all these like little bullshit things that they obviously know that i am not aware of because i haven't caught up there's like loads of them as well and it's so interesting you know they all know where the security cameras watch they've all got like a little picture of the map on their other screen and that show the link where the vents link to each other. I'm so sweaty and I'm like, oh, what is this? I had a game the other day where I did a stack kill. It was at the start and everybody was clumped up close together.

And even at the start, when people go off and they have a job like right close to where you sort of spawn in and you start, their screen is obscured by this job right so i just killed raps straight away okay and then so instantly his body was discovered because there was like everybody there sort of thing but then when we got into it straight away i was just like oh you know fucking um it was it was this person or you know i killed somebody else and i blamed raps for it raps like no no it wasn't me it was sips and i was like no no it was this person or you know I killed somebody else and I blamed Ravs for it and Ravs was like no no it wasn't me it was Sips and I was like no no it was Ravs

and then everybody's like alright well we'll vote out Ravs because we're all there and we think we saw him do it or whatever so like I got away with it but people people were also trying to vote me so then the next round they called a meeting straight away and voted me out the interesting thing is there are

a few things like I've played a. The interesting thing is there are a few things, like I've played a lot of Mafia, and there are a few things that people do in Among Us that are the exact same thing. That is like a dead giveaway. Yeah. The first one is that you will notice that people will, in the voting period, when you're discussing things, if people suddenly ask some technical detail, like they want to appear as if they're involved in the discussion. But of course, when you're the imposteroster you're not playing as a crewmate you're not looking out for other

people acting suspicious that's why you need an alibi you've got to be you've got to pretend that you're a crewmate pretty much right but because they don't have an alibi and because they don't keep their eye out in the same way that a regular crewmate does what they'll what you'll find that they'll do is they'll raise some technical issue about the game right they'll say things like is it possible to get from so and so to blah blah by vent and someone will say yeah it is okay yeah hmm or they'll say well which is the task that blah blah or they'll say something like uh so we know that because one person died and we lynched someone we're probably down to one imposter now and people will say yes it's all to make them seem as if they're part of the discussion, they're helping,

they're moving things forward, but they're not. So that is a really good tell. That's a big one in Mafia. People in Mafia will say, should we kill someone? Should we lynch someone tonight or not? What would be the right play? And they're kind of trying to deflect the conversation onto some overall meta discussion rather than talking about the fact that they were hiding out in electrical looking for a victim. That's a big's a that's a big one so i killed somebody i blamed our raps raps goes out and then the next round they call a meeting straight away to vote me out and kill you exactly because they weren't sure right but then after that there was no round where it didn't just start with somebody calling a meeting straight away it was like the

most chaotic game i've ever played because everybody just didn't just start with somebody calling a meeting straight away. It was like the most chaotic game I've ever played. Because everybody just didn't know what the fuck was going on because of like that first kill or whatever. So in the end, they ended up voting out like five people right after me. So like Ravs is out. I killed the first person. Ravs is out. I was out.

And then five people got evicted out in the end. That's insane. It was nuts because nobody like nobody knew what was going on and everybody was just like uh against each other whatever meanwhile the other imposter who was uh i think it was g star was just sitting there not saying a thing and then carried right through to the end like and won because everybody was so hung up on voting each other out because they didn't know what was going on. If the town is fighting amongst themselves, you kind of just sit back and let it happen. But so another thing to look out for is if someone accuses someone, like sometimes you'll get an

event where there's three of you in a room and what the imposter does is they kill someone and immediately report it and say, it's so-and-so, I saw them do it. And the other person will say, no, no, no, it's a self-report it's in other words he's given a report and now he's throwing it on me because i was right there and it's like it's a it's a kind of a yolo move because as you said they're just going to kill one of you then the other one well they should do but it doesn't always happen that way yeah sometimes i've had it where somebody they voted me out it wasn't me who did it i was blamed for doing it but then they didn't follow up and kill the person blaming me and he just got away with it you know what i mean like that happens sometimes

it's very typical in mafia games if someone accuses someone to be a mafia they accuse them back and it's like it's it's very obviously not the play like if you're accused you should not immediately say no it's not me it's them because it's like all right well what evidence do you have because he's got evidence you're just saying it's him it's not me, it's them. Because it's like, all right, well, what evidence do you have? Because he's got evidence, you're just saying it's him, it's not me. And that's almost always means that the person that if they just throw it right back at their accuser, out of nowhere, that's a dead giveaway tell. I got evicted or ejected from the ship the other day off of one vote, okay? Because nobody skipped vote. Everybody just like let their vote lapse. And somebody randomly voted me.

And I was dropped out. I was out of the game. Just off that one random like. That sucks. Yeah. But it's a fun game. It is fun. I think it's got because it's got. And also kind of a meta builds up within the people that you play with.

Like we played on Tuesday with a bunch of the Yogs guys. And it was very different from when I play it with the guys on my Discord. Like when I'm streaming it, it was a completely different metagame, and the way everybody played was wildly different. It was bizarre. So yeah, I think in that regard, it's far more interesting than something like Fall Guys. I mean, people play these things in different ways.

We've been playing Trouble in Terrorist Town, which is very similar, except for it's a lot more shooty and wacky, which mixes it up. You kind of need to actually be quite technically good at the game to be good at TTT, which is where I struggle. There's a lot of fiddly technical elements, and of course you have to outshoot people.

I think Among Us is better, because you just press kill and they're dead. Among Us is quite serious and shouty. And people get into fights about it. Yeah, I don't get that. Because I think that you sort of... There is this thing where you have to get really indignant, right? And be like, fucking hell, guys, come on. Seriously.

What you... Fuck, I'm not playing this shitty game anymore with you guys. Fuck seriously what you you're fuck i'm not playing this shitty game anymore with you guys fuck you do you mean you have to do that kind of shit to get away with it right um sometimes i mean you don't have to but but like some people play like that like deliberately fake irl irritation okay right and it's so shocking to me when i see that because i'm instantly like oh i don't want to play with this person again usually but also like are they genuinely upset about the game or are they just

acting and as soon as someone starts doing it and they realise that's a technique you can use other people start doing it as well it's like you know if someone is indignant enough they can't be guilty surely right but it leads to this odd uncomfortable meta right but it leads to this odd uncomfortable

meta right but also some of the ways people play like some people like to play a longer game some people like to play a sort of you know just some people are just like i'm just gonna kill everyone as soon as my button's off cool down and risk it you know different people play differently and i think you do have to learn that from people and i think that that's why the yogs meta is sort of different, I guess, because everyone knows each other and has evolved together. Do you know what I'm saying? Have you ever experienced that?

Never. It's kind of weird. Not once. No. Listen, I'll be honest. I wasn't really paying attention. No, me neither. I'm sorry.

That's okay. I was just reading something. You were just fine. No, I literally zoned out. I did. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to i'm sorry i just i saw a picture of sarah silverman and i'm a big fan of sarah silverman and she's real pretty and everything so i just kind of looking at that and then i was thinking about sarah silverman and then i noticed

that you were talking and then i just wanted to kind of sound like i'd been paying attention so i just went i think it's a thing like when you have a wife and kids, no disrespect to wives or kids, but you do tend to sort of shut off every once in a while, right? The annoying young man. No, it's not even that you're annoying or particularly young. It's just like, I think you just get a sense for when it's time to listen. That's okay.

And that was not one of those times. If you made the crying sound that I felt like you were genuinely crying rather than just crying for attention, then I'd pay attention. Yeah, I might cry. Like there are noises of children hitting themselves on something. Yes. Like you can hear noises upstairs of a thump. Are you saying your children have tells? You can tell whether your children are faking

in the same way that we know whether duncan's lying in a money right is that what you're saying it's very obvious you get to know like i i know exactly when they're both lying a hundred percent yeah and it's their tells are very obvious and i know them and it's just an instinctive yeah just like i know i know when they're genuinely hurt and when they've just banged my son does the the lazy lie do you do your kids do this flex where you're like have you brushed your teeth and they're like yeah and you're like uh you there's no way you have and they're just like okay cool let's go look at your toothbrush yeah they just lie about something because they just it's like something small but they can't be bothered

doing it or it like somehow they're brushing the fucking teeth at the moment this is a big one i literally said to them go brush your teeth like okay we'll do it an hour later i go down to the toilet and i i'm such a fucking dad i check the toothbrushes to see how dry they are i was like that's bone dry i go and i was like you guys didn't brush your teeth did you no we'll do it now yeah i was like please actually do it and they go into the bathroom i still don't know if they bloody do it i don't know if they go in there one time i looked up let's just wet the toothbrushes

one time i got pictures on on google of people with like these really nice white like dentures or like fake teeth or whatever smiling stuff and i said look at you're gonna have school pictures you're gonna have like maybe wedding pictures you're gonna have pictures of yourself taken look at these nice teeth all you got to do is brush your teeth twice a day to have these teeth it's not much is it right and then i showed them pictures of people with like brown fucking like rotting teeth and stuff i was like very quickly your teeth could look like this and that doesn't look very nice does it so now every time uh there's like any drama around brushing teeth like we just sort of say like oh well you're just gonna have brown teeth that are

gonna fall out and stuff you're not gonna be able to eat the food that you like and everything and they're like oh okay i'll brush my teeth like they just go they just go brush their teeth like straight away now it's great it's like it's like one level less than uh than the dad on uh rested development remember that he used to like get the and that's why you always leave a note the guy with one arm right the guy loses an arm gets hit by a car oh fuck me it's a bit like that but it's less uh it's less over the top you know but like sometimes you just gotta hammer the top, you know. But like sometimes you just got to hammer the point home, you know, like visual aids and stuff like that. All that stuff helps.

You just have to horrify those kids. Well, it works. Get the fear of God in them. Remember on cigarette packets, they started putting those pictures of people with like gum disease and like they showed pictures of like diseased lungs and stuff like that. And I don't know how well that worked but i i remember feeling like oh shit like i don't want this to happen to me

at the time i'll tell you something i i spoke to a bunch of smokers about this and uh you just try and collect the whole set yes like you're just like have you got emphysema yet yeah there's emphysema well oof i'm really hoping for clogged arteries next week. You know, like they try and save up the set of... It's like cigarette cards, but gruesome. Like that's not going to put off a smoker. No, no. When you're smoking, everything in your brain is telling you this is awesome. Smells great.

Looks fantastic. Your fingers look fine. Your teeth are great. It's cool. Ceiling being yellow. No problem. That's just hardcore. It's just the addiction talking uh

so that pictures is never gonna put anybody as a smoker as well you know another another thing that we we notice and we that we struggle with from time to time especially with my son because he's a bit older is the he's terrible smoker he just like a carton a day. It's insane. He just sucks them back like Coca-Cola. I don't know how he does it. No, no. But it's like the, I'm sure you've had this before too, Flax. It's like they emulate like their friends, right? But their friends might be doing things or saying things that like your kid doesn't. So you could tell straight away like that they've been around somebody that is like

their parents are a bit like looser with them in what they let them watch or play or whatever like uh like we don't let my son play fortnite because it's just like he's still a bit young for that we'd prefer him to just play like you know super mario or whatever games like that the more sort of like age appropriate for him yeah but a lot of his friends at school play fortnight right and like when like the flossing thing was happening you know he'd come home and he would be doing that and we'd be like why what are you doing like why where have you seen that why why would you come home and copy like like it's a big thing for us to say like don't fucking copy what people are doing because like they're they might just be like doing things that you're not meant to be doing or you don't really understand what you're doing right like just

be yourself don't fucking emulate other people i didn't say fucking to them but like you know what i mean like um you know what i mean like it's important that they don't just like blindly copy what everybody else at school is doing right like i think that's learning though isn't it unfortunately that's how we learn like we try to like we try to sort of like drum that into him now because it's like every once in a while he'll just come home and he'll like you'll say something you'll have some sort of like shitty reply to it and you're like wait a second like where the fuck are you getting that you know what i mean like we've never spoken to you like that or said anything like that like how do you even know that this thing exists

and then it turns out that like one of his fucking friends brother or something is like swearing at him oh man or some shit like that you know a bunch of the kids in uh in my my youngest class so she's eight she's nearly nine all the kids in her class like you know similar kind of age and uh they play among us. They play it every evening. I don't let my daughter play it yet, but they play it, apparently just with each other. But I was like, what if they're just playing with randos on the internet? I don't know if these parents out there know that you just get into a lobby and it's just public and people just jump in. So I've told them all that on the WhatsApp group, but they don't

fucking listen to me. They let the kids play whatever they want online but if there is a game out there with just eight and nine year old kids in how bad is that game of among us like i want to know just how bad is that that must be a real shit show like uh that's a shit show i bet you they have no talking about your doter in-houses p flex it's literally like the doter in-houses but with Among Us. Because I'm thinking, for a start, they have no voice chat. They only use the text box during the accusation time to discuss. They just use text.

That's trash. So that sucks. It's because they're on their phones. Yes, of course. But it just blows my mind. My first thought was, wow, those games suck. They must be some bad games of Among Us. Why don't you join one one time and pretend to be a nine-year-old kid? Oh, wait.

Yeah, no, that's not a good idea no that's not a bad look yeah it's a bad look but if the if the kids at the next next time they talk to their parents yeah uh charlotte's dad was playing in our game the other night was he now yeah he told us he was nine years old he just wants to be a friend of mine yeah okay we're gonna have words tomorrow at the school gate so yeah i think i'll stay out of that but i'm tempted to watch the game and yeah show up at the school gates in your fucking golf gear as well i want to see this i want to see like a youtube video of like 10 nine-year-olds playing among us i want to watch imagine how bad it would be oh my god that's a one youtube video i'm i'm happy

never to to watch can you imagine how fucking annoying that would be like jesus like 10 10 year olds like all screaming at each other in well i guess they can't they have no voice well they can't scream it's all text chat right maybe it wouldn't be so bad i'd love to see what how they bluff and how they yeah what's the matter at nine years old because they're convincing about the toothpaste no they're not they're not they're terrible lies that's the thing. And I don't think they understand the mechanics of the game. Only because you know them.

Only because you know the toothpaste's a lie. I don't think they're good liars. I wonder how much shit they're getting away with. Well, A, obviously people are just not spotting what's happening. B, how long are these tasks taking them? I bet some of the tasks are taking them a wee while. And also, are they doing things like stack kills? Are they calling emergency meetings? Are they figuring out

that if there's two people voting each other off, you don't just believe them both, you have to kill them both? Are they believing each other just... And also, bear in mind that they're not fast at typing. Their spelling is not great. So spelling mistakes all over the place. It's going to lead to all kinds of problems. I'm just fascinated. I can't imagine what they're doing. I don't know. I don't disagree, right?

I disagree. They have autocorrect. They're on their phones all day. They're probably typing faster than you. Yeah. Do your kids have phones? Flex? I reckon they're getting away with all sorts of shit behind your back.

You already know the toothbrush lie because it's an obvious one. It's in your face. Maybe they even use that to cloak a lot bigger lies. They're not that clever when it comes to lying. Trust me. My eldest is going to be. She's a crafty one. But do your kids have and use phones, Flex?

My eldest has a phone, but she only talks to her mates on WhatsApp. There's this huge WhatsApp group. And they do um big calls where they're all like on the call like she's in secondary school so yeah i suppose yeah she gets needs that kind of stuff yeah and i mean she you know she she takes herself to and from school we gave her a little kid credit card thing that's like we top it up with money she bought she can buy stuff in the shop but then everything but we we get a complete, like my missus have, she gets an email right away every time my oldest spends any money on her card.

She's like, two slushies. I have words with her when she gets home. Oh man, I used to love that. I used to love like every once in a while, my dad had this like a change thing like upstairs on his dresser. It was like this brass saucer thing. I think it was like a commemor uh thing like upstairs on his dresser it was like this it was like this brass saucer thing i think it was like a commemorative thing that he got through work right i have a change

bowl yeah yeah yeah it is listen that's my change bowl i don't i don't have one but my dad used to steal from my dad used to have one and every once in a while i would like go in in the morning just say like oh see you dad like i'm off to school or whatever you know he'd be sleeping or whatever and i'd check the change bowl and like if there was ever like you know like dollar coins or like two dollar coin in there i'd be like oh dad can i have like that can i have this loony or can i have this two dollar coin or whatever and be like half asleep be like yeah yeah whatever just like just take it it's like in the change bowl and uh man i would

go nuts i would buy fucking licorice and like fucking sour patch kids and like uh the like those huge like infinite gob stoppers and the sour gob stoppers and stuff we'd stop at the store on the way to school so like it was always like this big thing you'd get to school and you'd have all this candy and i'd be like oh man we we we had to be like maybe 10 or 11 years old at the time but it was it was great we i never i never had access to shops at primary school because my mom even up to my final year walked me and my sister every day it was like a mile there and back she walked us every day right um to school and there were no shops and for secondary school on the way in it i had to start school before the shops opened so it was only after school and there was no shops near the school but if we walked out of our way to the other bus stop and caught a different bus back into the town

center then we could go to the shop and if i didn't have any money sometimes a mate would give me some money but it was like going into the shop i just remember this the stop owner would be like leaning on the counter just watching us all like hawks yeah because you kids it's fucking yeah they'll just take stuff oh yeah but it was always sweets sweet sweet sweets that's all we would buy yeah and there were some kids like always bought those straws full of sherbet which are the worst fucking yeah we had those like dip ones as well like you know the dip ones are good you had licorice and you dip it in the sherbet right you had like oh no well like it was like a like a candy stick you lick the stick and then you dip it into the powder right this was this was a sherbet dip and it was a big stick of licorice

it looked kind of like a stick of dynamite yeah and you took the top off and you dipped the licorice lucky dip or something but it had like the two compartments right so you had like the orange powder and then you'd have purple powder so like you we just had yellow sometimes you could do a mix but like you had we would buy the red hot gobstoppers and see who could keep them in their mouth the longest yeah we think they're really sour ones though that was the big thing for us you know like the purple one was the most sour so it was like right okay try this purple one like can i have a go can i can i have a gobstopper yeah but you have to have the purple one oh no and then like you know everybody be like this guy's a champion for having this purple oh my god stopper and stuff yeah yeah i i

i mean you're yeah i really like that you have a track you're tracking your kids your phone's tracking your kids the social media is tracking you everyone's tracking each other in this big circle of tracking i love that i mean i remember like when i was a kid the one thing that i dreaded was the phone bill right because we obviously had to use the modem to dial up to the internet and and I would because it only came like every month after a while I'd be like oh man I've already used like modem for like two days this week for like three hours I might as well just go ham now Jamie and so we'd end up with this like I don't know 80 quid phone bill or whatever and my parents would sort of go ballistic because it was this you know because i've been on been dialing up to all these um bulletin board services you are not calling the cori hotline again young lewis yeah it wasn't i mean that was

that wasn't what i was doing really i think i did ring the nintendo hotline like once or twice but um it was mostly like kind of the the the the internet in its early days or there were other like internet services that were similar right they were like little micro internet so you dial into wire play which was like a sort of online lobby where you could play various games with other people online ms the the microsoft gaming zone i used to use that one it was they still do the thing where you have to call up because this was pre-internet i got stuck on zelda uh linked to the past yeah they used to have game counselors for nintendo and then they sort of got superseded by nintendo power the magazine and the internet as well and then yeah

ultimately then the internet but yeah i called up and I spoke to a human being, got through straight away. I was like, I must have been about 12. I'm stuck on the bit that is a forest in the log and I don't know what to do. All right,

do you have the medallion of courage? Yeah, I think I... Yeah, I do. Okay, I want you to stand on the rock just to the left of there

and wave the medallion in the air. Oh, yeah, I've done that. Oh, it's open. Oh, brilliant. Thank you so much. Thank you. Yeah, no problem. And it's like cost my mother three quid or whatever.

I used to just phone up. I got lent the original Final Fantasy on the NES. I must have been about seven or eight years old. My dad's friend from work lent me it okay like so my dad brought this game home with him one day uh from his friend at work called mike and he was like oh hey mike uh mike thought maybe you'd like this one he got it and he played it and uh he couldn't get like really far in it but he thought maybe you'd want to try it out so i was like wow great what is this final fantasy like a new nintendo game like i was like fucking

going nuts playing it but it was hard like i didn't really know what to do i didn't i didn't understand it and stuff so i used to phone this guy mike at my my dad's work so i'd phone up my dad's work because my dad at the time was doing like ident for the police so he was like he'd have to like go to crime scenes and take pictures basically. So there were times in the day where he'd just be like in the, in the office, right? Like either developing a film or, you know, writing, writing reports or whatever. So like, oftentimes you could phone the office and catch him. So I'd phone him up and be like, Oh, Hey dad, how's it going? He's like, Oh, Hey, well, you know, what's, what's going on? I was like, Oh, you know, just like, just phone it up to see how you're doing, how your is and stuff and i'd be like oh yeah you know my day is pretty

good it's like is mike there you'd be like what do you need mike for it's like well i'm kind of stuck on final fantasy again like this happened like four or five times a day i'd phone this this poor guy at work like ask him no one no one rings their dad at work just to say anti-poison uh potions to take into the marsh cave um i've died down there about 12 times do i need a canoe or anything he'd be like you know i think back to stuff like that and i remember as a kid how embarrassing it must have been for my parents but thinking back they probably just had an absolute laugh like i know kids stuff my kids have done that they've said or they've done and we all just laugh about it because you just you just know they're kids but as a kid you imagine that adults are judging you

so harshly but they're really not like they're just oh my god can you imagine poor old mike or whatever happened to feel these calls from you i guarantee you thought it was hilarious i guarantee you thought it was hilarious it was like a it was a big joke i bet like how could you hate that that's so funny that's cute i think it's really cute but i think it's also like uh kind of a bit embarrassing to have this kid keep ringing me up like if he called me he called me officer he hangs up the phone what a what a fucking kid hey what a bright kid what a good a great fucking kid that kid is i like fucking seven times a day the guy guy the guy's like doing important police work he's fucking on the horn trying to explain where to get the canoe in Final Fantasy.

He's in the middle of an interrogation. He's like leading forward whispering like, Yeah, so just go to the cave to the left. Yeah, yeah. And in there, there should be a dragon. Yeah, you're going to need to kill that. I'll talk to you soon. All right.

Now, where are the bodies? Put your red-handed on the CCTV. We know you've done it. Hang on a second. I got a call coming in but oh yeah you got to go up the river pass to get to the canoe then you have to take the leaves off the canoe because it's been buried yeah oh you are you up there yeah yeah okay prometheus hang on a second he's just like dealing with like a super villain at the front.

Fuck's sake. Yeah, so, yeah, that was... I never phoned the Nintendo hotline because I had Mike. I didn't need to phone him. Good old Mike. I just phoned up Mike. Did he charge three bucks a minute? No, he never did. He was a good guy. Every time I rang up, they were able to help. Yeah, it was

incredible, thinking back. I mean, I assume they just fucking knew the game inside out. Well, they did it all day, every day. They had like, I don't think back then they had, this is all covered on this high score documentary as well. You guys probably like it actually, you should watch it. It's called High Score on Netflix. But there's a segment about all this,

the game counselors, nintendo game counselors and they had um back then they didn't have nintendo power and they and none of the developers published strategy guides back then either because this is like you know just the prima guide yeah they didn't have the brady bradley games guides or whatever and um so so these guys had to play the games but they would put together these huge binders of information like often hand-drawn maps and stuff like that um so that you know when they get a call about a certain game they would just be able to like reference it and sort of know where you are so they'd always ask you questions like okay what room are you in is

there lots of gray blocks and they they'd have to look through the book to find the room with the gray blocks, and then they'd know where the potion was and stuff. I wonder what happened to all that data. I do that eight, nine hours a day. You get pretty good at it, I think. Oh, God, you'd want to kill yourself, wouldn't you? Yeah, but back then.

These jobs were not going for 20 or 30 years, though, Jeremy. You didn't sign up for life there or like at the anthrax factory so like rather than fairly sure live yeah yeah that'd be good for me yeah holy crap well i think that i want to go watch that i'm gonna go watch that now it's some of it waffles a little bit but for the most part it's pretty good starts with like atari and like arcade games and sort of like works its way into like the era they've got interviews with like the creators of sonic and pac-man and all these people and i'm kind of interested just to see what yeah they cover sonic pac-man all that kind of stuff richard garriott's in it a whole bunch as well

um it's it's it is interesting i haven't watched the whole thing yet but it's it's pretty good i liked it i've liked it so far oh wow that's a glowing glowing review of it. I haven't watched the whole thing yet, but it's pretty good. I liked it. I've liked it so far. Oh, wow. That's a glowing review of it if you haven't watched the whole thing. Yeah, I'd give it a solid, like, 2 out of 10. I didn't fall asleep too many times while watching it. So, yeah, I'd say it's definitely consumable. You should definitely watch The Social Dilemma.

It's really interesting. I'll watch. I'll get around to it. I'll do it later. And play golf. All right, boys. Thank you very much, everybody. Love you lots.

Bye now. See you next time. Bye. Bye-bye.