Triforce! - Triforce! #149: Triforce vs Celebrity Birthdays

Episode Date: October 28, 2020

Triforce! Episode 149! Sips is sharing his childhood with his son, Lewis has relapsed on his birthday and we're all comparing our birthdays with celebrities! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everybody. Good morning and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. That's right, I'm here. Lewis, also Sips, how are you doing? Great. Piri and Flax, how are you? Sup! We are... What are we?

I don't know, I'm a kind of... I guess I'm now a youtuber slash twitch streamer it's kind of out of date you know like you know 10 years old you're having an existential crisis oh it's your birthday so you're having a crisis well i'm having i'm 37 today hello um thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you well done doesn't happen to normally end on a drop or fall on a Thursday, but on a birthday. But for some reason, Triforce today is a Thursday.

And also, I've got a dentist appointment on my birthday. I don't know how this happened. Well, the thing is, when you get into your 30s, or I mean, I would say even sort of like most of your 20s, like who gives a shit about a birthday really you know like mrs f that's who well i mean some people still do but i mean like that like my my wife and i we both just like stopped giving a shit about birthdays a long time ago which has been nice but not mrs f some people give a lot of shits about other people's birthdays as well and really think that

i'm really worried that they would be upset if it wasn't the best day ever i mean i try to say happy birthday to somebody on their birthday but i mean what else can you do really here's the thing do you guys like um i mean i i don't send my friends birthday cards i don't send them birthday cards or presents right because we're grown-ups and i figured i'm not going to be hurt, but I'm concerned that other people like me and my mates, we're kind of weird like that. Like there's no sentimentality or presents or gifts or anything. There might be a happy birthday,

but that's it. I don't know if that's a thing that blokes do, or if that's just me and my mates. And I'm worried that everybody else is furiously exchanging cards and presents and calling each other up and wishing them happy birthday. And they, everybody thinks I'm an asshole, but this this is that's all i know is that i don't know like i don't really know like a couple of people i'll remember their birthday and on the day i'll just like send them a text or something that says happy birthday right um but for the most part i

don't remember anybody's birthday like i i think i like i know my wife's birthday my kids birthdays uh my parents birthdays even then i still get them mixed up and um like i'd say three or four of my friends i remember their their birthdays and that's about it i don't think you need to remember that many birthdays really i know my sisters oddly enough but i can't remember my mum's and my dad's well I think this is a bit of a problem I think some people do mind when you forget your birthday

over the course of the year I feel a bit embarrassed or guilty a couple of times when someone says it's so and so's birthday today if you got them anything and I'm like I mean I think it's a bit different for you you employ people you have to pretend to give i mean i think it's a bit different for you you employ people so like

you have to pretend to give a shit i think there's extra pressure on you to sort of remember things like that or to at least appear to to give a shit about somebody personally like when maybe you don't i don't know i mean well it's a tough one like i think maybe it's time well things we do have a list of birthdays in the office and um yeah i mean that's a classic thing like i think maybe it's time well thing is we do have a list of birthdays in the office and um yeah i mean that's a classic thing that like goes into a calendar right you you the first thing you put in your calendar is everyone's birthdays in there or you copy them over from last year sort of thing yeah um i i in i imagine a parallel world where facebook evolved as that right imagine facebook was called birthday book or whatever. And it was originally like, um, a way to track other people's birthday, send them like best wishes and stuff.

You know, that's, I think that's how most people hear about other people's birthdays as well. It's on fake. It used to be anyway. Uh, I don't know how many people still use it. Imagine it was like, like, like black mirror or like, like the twilight zone or something where like the the the day and month of your birthday really mattered like it meant the difference between you being like i don't know middle class or like just fucking dirt poor like that like they they segregated people based on like their their birthdays well you're not wrong actually because that's like star signs right so i mean, I mean, and also Chinese New Year. I was born in the year of the pig, right? Right.

Which is 1983. I'm a dragon, mate. Get with the program. What was the year in 1980? The vol. 1980. Year of the dormouse. Chinese.

Year of the monkey. Zodiac element. You're a monkey. No, the monkey element was metal. It was a metal monkey. Oh, yeah, because there's elements attached. There's elements as well. So it's interesting.

You talk about people's future being decided by their birthday. There is pretty good. I'm the dragon. I'm the dragon. 76. Oh, Jesus. What kind of dragon? I don't fucking know.

Bold dragon. Fire dragon. You're a fire dragon. Damn'm a dragon. What kind of dragon? I don't fucking know. Bold dragon. Fire dragon. You're a fire dragon. Actually, when is your birthday? March 29th. Okay, you're okay. Because January doesn't count. Did you miss Flax's birthday this year, Lewis? Is that one of the ones? I never get anything from you guys for my birthday, and that's fine.

Well, you don't tell anyone. I got something from Lewis this year, but it was only because like i think the week before my birthday said hey it's my birthday next week that's that's yeah and i sent you a fucking gift that's what you have to do yeah that's it yeah tell me what your birthday is so if you ever want to get something from lewis for your birthday flax just tell him the week before it's your birthday just say hey i guess what i'm doing for my birthday next week i'm going to uh papa jim Jimmy's pasta emporium with my wife

sounds good eh? honestly that's what you have to do it's like one of those things in life that you have to drop hints if you actually give a shit about it or someone else drops hints for you I like getting presents everybody likes getting presents but I'm also not going to bother anybody

if you drop hints you get a lot more presents I don't really like getting presents I don't know like getting presents. I don't know if that's normal or whatever, but I find presents annoying. I just don't want more stuff. I've got all the stuff I need. I don't want more stuff.

You know what I mean? I don't know where to put any of this stuff. I don't really value any of this stuff. You know what I mean? Most of the stuff that I use... Well, that's a very... Well, someone's not going to be getting any more i mean good uh because i again i don't know what to do with any of this stuff like i've got enough of my own stuff i don't know if you guys have this but like in my house i open a cupboard to get something like i'm very much of

the of the opinion like everything should have its own place right like i'm gonna sound like a really angry old man ranting at this but you're also very much of the opinion that you never have a clear out you never you never we just don't have time so i like so i'll go into a cupboard looking for something expecting it to be there and i always come away from that cupboard feeling super annoyed because the thing i'm looking for is not there and also like 20 fucking things have fallen out of the cupboard every cupboard in your kitchen is so packed to the gills that you and efficiently packed um that you open the cupboard nice and just stuff falls out but you have told stories on this podcast before and i can vouch for you

that some of the stuff in those cupboards went out of date 25 years ago yeah yeah i mean i don't know why we have so much stuff like i just well like we accumulate stuff like especially with kids kids love to accumulate stuff like they we need three massive liters of dried buckwheat yeah uh we don't even know what that does i don't know 10 years ago but. Well, no. I don't know. It went out of date 10 years ago. I don't know if you guys... But we're going to keep it in this cupboard anyway. You guys must have this in the UK, but like now they're introducing all this stuff where it's like you can get like bulk cereal, for example, but it's not packaged. It just comes like in a dispenser.

So you take like a Tupperware container with you to the store and just fill it up with like, you know, loose cereal. To the door? What door of your house no that's like a trash vat it's like a concrete mixer turns up outside your house full of cereal when you just go out oh it's like with your tupperware have you ever gone to like a like a bulk barn or anything like that you know everything's just like i have there's no there's no packaging right it's all it's all loose and here comes the weetabix honey yeah get the vat but i i don't

know how this bodes for us because again we have so much stuff and now we're just gonna have containers full of bulk stuff as well can we get a word count on the number of times sips has said stuff in the last three minutes because he's clearly got a lot of stuff well it's hard to describe he doesn't want to describe what his stuff is because partly he doesn't know because he's in the back of the cupboard but partly it's just he's he's he's like doesn't he's embarrassed about what it is because it's mostly kids toys a lot of it is kids toys yeah yeah yeah yeah but they get to a certain age you can throw that out like or give it away to other kids what one of the things we got a lot of families in our area

and one of the things you'll often see is on a on a day where the weather isn't too bad, the mom or the dad will have had a big clear out and they've put toys at their front gate as a sort of help yourself, please take these toys, we don't want any more. There's also about a million charity shops on Twickenham High Street, so people drop them off there. But we gave our toys away. We had, this was quite sweet. We had a load of Brio. Oh, yeah, Brio's great. That's good stuff. It's fantastic.

It's like a wooden train set. Yeah, yeah, I love that stuff. Very good for little kids. Yeah. Unbreakable almost. It's like proper wooden stuff. And they really go nuts with it. My kids played with the Brio until they were,

I'd say like six months ago, they were still playing with the Brio. But eventually we were like, Fucking nerds. I know. We were know we were like kids we got to give this away like this is ridiculous you girls are a little old for this now i know you like it but we just don't have the room because you've got all these other toys and books everything and clothes fucking everywhere oh my god this is like my parents giving away my warhammer when i went to university oh well that sucks on ebay that's what this is like going to, and I've been buying that back. Do you know what I mean?

Wait, your parents did that? Your kids are going to be buying back that Brio. They gave away your Warhammer stuff? That's brutal. They're going to be like, I missed that Brio. That's different. Do you guys still have a childhood room,

like in a childhood home somewhere? No, no. Or have your parents moved from like your childhood homes and you don't? I don't anymore. When I was living in Bournemouth, we had, it was me and my sister shared a room until I was 18 and at that point i was like this has to stop because we only had two rooms i don't even think that's legal anymore i think i think the council would step in no i'm serious though i don't think i don't think um you're

allowed to have like like a boy and a girl sharing a room past a certain age. That's bullshit. I'm sorry, dude. That has to be bullshit. First of all, we had to do it because we were poor. And I'm sure a lot of people are in the same boat. It's probably perfectly fine. If you only have two rooms, what the fuck are you meant to do? You think the counts are going to stomp in there and arrest people?

Oh, this child should be sleeping in the corridor. No. I think over here they do check that kind of stuff. I'm not even joking. They might well do. But I'm telling you that if you have no choice you have no choice on the island yeah they gotta put an end to it somehow yeah i mean i guess they're actually just on the hunt for people too poor to have uh a room for each kid but um yeah so they know that anyone who meets anyone on the island's gonna be related somehow anyway so they're like right let's just let's just make sure but yeah so so we were sharing a room like but we still had old toys in there but as soon as me and my sister had moved out my mom just like cleared the room out yeah and that was that but the when when when i met mrs f i was like i have a girlfriend

now i can't exactly bring her back to my house if i'm in a fucking bunk bed you know what i mean so i said to my mom we got to do something she was like all right so she shared with my sister for like the last six months before i fucked off to university um and then when i was back home they'd have to go share again and everything it was i mean honestly she really took one for the team there she did didn't she god she's a fucking super mom honestly she's amazing but um mrs flax yeah she she really is standing up for you there that was that was a good good save because i'm serious i probably wouldn't be married to mrs f and have two kids now if i brought her back and i was like yeah i have to sleep in a bunk bed share it with my

sister you know it's like okay well then i'm gonna find another boyfriend this whole time you've been talking about this i've just i've just been thinking about that scene from train spotting you know when the guy brings his that that girl back from the club like to his or he goes back to her house or something like that and it's just that whole awkward when you're still living with your parents but you have a girlfriend and you want to you want to bring your girlfriend home or right i mean the difference is she was 15 and she was living at home because she was a school girl oh yeah i remember now yeah yeah yeah slight difference it's a little bit different so i mean in terms of childhood rooms um no it's now just been converted into the the front room at my mom's house she's got a fold-out

bed in there for when the kids come to stay with but is she still at the same house that you yeah yeah same flat i mean it's a ground floor flat she's elderly it's perfect for her it's got a garden and everything you know it's just right but yeah is it weird when you go back like you think that you uh you grew up there and stuff or i mean it's depressing but no it's not it's not weird my parents don't live in the same house like that I grew up in or anything like I just there's no I have I don't I don't have like, any sort of like anchor in the past to go back to sort of thing. You know what I mean? Like they don't even live in the same town that I grew up in nothing like it's just, I mean, the main thing is to you remember the people and it's far more important than a

room like movies make this big thing about your childhood bedroom everything it's just a room yeah i know but essentially it is just a room that the real memories are the things you did your friends that kind of stuff i remember that a lot more than just oh my room it's like you know who cares it's just a yeah i wish i held on to more stuff like i wish i held on to more like pictures and stuff you know like nowadays it's easier for like younger people to have pictures of themselves and of of their parents whatever like you know everything's digital it's really easy to to keep all that kind of stuff but like my kids have never seen a picture of me when i was small because i don't have any pictures of myself when i was small like i have to i actually have to reach out to my parents and say can you please scan some old

pictures if you can find them and then send them to me so that I so like my kids don't even know what I looked like when I was small it's weird I there's very few pictures of me as well I mean my my mom's got a ton of pictures um and my dad's got a ton of pictures from when we were kids and all the rest of it and I know that um my mom still got all her photo albums going back to the 70s i mean and for her parents photo album she still got those and sometimes she shows the kids and stuff like that and it's like wow there was daddy when he was like seven or whatever or when i was two or three and that's cool but then there's this weird gap at university i didn't really take that many photos because no we didn't have a digital camera like it was just a who wants to you know who can afford to have a camera get pictures yeah they

were just carrying around with you just coming in when i was at college like it was just it was they were a new thing and not everybody had one it's like this funny transition period because we started to have pictures cameras on our phones but we didn't have like there was such bad quality and then when you they were awkward to transfer off and then when you finally did do that the call they're like you sometimes forgot and so I think I had some pictures of my one of my old phones I lost and then you know one of them just broke for some reason and so I ended up I don't know like I don't have a lot of pictures of my school years because it was that transition period right yeah because you don't have a camera because you're a kid but yeah

nowadays i mean my daughter's got tons of pictures of her and her mates from like year six from from her first year of secondary school and she's got all these pictures and i'm like that's so nice so someone's taking pictures of you as well right that's the other thing exactly yes people having pictures even if you don't take any pictures people are going to have pictures of you. Even if you don't take any pictures, people are going to have pictures of you. And it's like, and on Facebook, it gets shared, right? I mean, when I was at school, Facebook wasn't really a thing until I was in my very last year of uni. And so as a result, I just don't really, I don't think anyone really shared pictures of me from that time. And it's kind of nice in a way, because I was aty nerdy kind of turtleneck wearing yeah there's that turtleneck picture of me isn't there like there's not many um there's not many i mean here's the other thing is you tend to get pictures taken

at special occasions like maybe at a birthday party or if you went to a wedding or something like that like or on holiday, but people didn't just have a camera on them. Whereas nowadays, people have a fucking camera on them all the time. Yeah. So there's just gonna be more pictures. Like when I think back, and my kids are like, what was your room like when you were growing up? I mean, I don't have a photo of that. My mom might know. I mean, I have big memories, but not not nothing like I remember what I could even tell you where where my toys went and everything like it was very organized back then um i just remember

i had a leather case that held uh nes games remember the size of nes cartridges i had this like fuckers yeah i had this like weird it was like i don't even know it was it wasn't real leather like it was just like this fake plasticky looking leather thing but it was like, I don't even know. It wasn't, it wasn't real leather. It was just like this fake plasticky looking leather thing. But it was like a case that held like, I don't know, 10, 15 games or whatever that you had to handle. So you carried around. So like if I went to my friend's house and I wanted to take some games, I had like this, this case.

I remember having that in my room, like in a, in, in like a place of, of honor sort of thing. Like it was, you know you had a couple of nintendo games and that was your that was your thing um man so listen talking about old nintendo games i bought uh my son on the weekend uh he got that new mario kart game you know the one with the where where the car drives around yeah it's a real it's a real car it's really cool actually it's it's it's really well? It's a real car. It's really cool, actually. It's really well done.

It's like you set up the course like in your house. Mario Kart Live? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then as it drives around, you're looking at the screen, but obviously the camera is feeding back. And it's like one of those AR things, I guess. There's like all the little characters. So like it's your house, but like, you know,

some of the walls have like some stuff on them or whatever like it it's really clever actually it's it's it's nicely done i think it would be amazing yeah i mean my kids want it for christmas but i'm pretty sure electrics is that what you're talking about no no so what you do is you you get two cars you get two cars a mario and a luigi and you have these gates these four gates you set up just like cardboard it's like labo kind of it's literally like a labo gate sort of thing and you just drive the first time you do you create the course by driving you drive the car in the path you want the course to be and then you go all right cool yeah and you're both on your switches or whatever and then it goes but then you can play against mario kart yeah but then you can play against Bowser and stuff.

And they can bump you. And it'll make your car run into the couch or whatever. It's good. It's really well done, actually. The only issue is the dog. There would be a genuine hazard on the course, which is the dog. Yeah. It's going to run around and grab the car.

So, yeah, it would be high stakes. So we got him that and uh you know he's playing enjoying it but we also while we were out we we spotted one of those mini nes things you know like the you've had your eye on that for about two years i know so it's got 30 games pre-loaded on it and classics two really good ones it has like metroid castlevania one and two megaman two double dragon two like all the really good games, right? Zelda, Link, Mario 1, 2, and 3. So there's 30 games on there. And you just plug it into your HDMI and it's powered by USB. So we just plugged it into the switch, like the front USB port of

the switch to keep it on or whatever. And it was and then we so we also downloaded a bunch of super nintendo games on switch like through like your nintendo account right so this weekend we we we somehow accumulated like 60 games like just you know as you do but it was so it's it's odd like watching my son play games because when i was his age, I got a game and I wouldn't get another game for months. So like you get a game and you just played the shit out of it, right? Like it didn't even matter if it was good or not. That was the only game you had. That was it?

Yeah. You had that game and you either played it or you just did something else, right? My son doesn't have that. He's just like, he played Metroid and i was like uh the nostalgia hit me so hard i was like oh fuck i can't this fucking original metroid like this game was amazing i played the shit out of this game i loved it like so i was trying to explain to him what to do and stuff and he died like almost instantly he wasn't even paying attention to what i was saying nothing and i was like no no you gotta do this and he's like yeah he just like turned it off and like

found some other game i was like oh my god like this how is how have we come to this point like where yeah everything is so throw away you know like it's just like i've got so much stuff i just don't give a fuck about any of it just like i've got 60 games and i'm just gonna like play one until i die and then play the next one and it's like oh man you just you miss out on so much doing that, right? Like, you don't get the satisfaction of playing through a game like Metroid and figuring it out and finishing it. Now you know how Twitch chat feels when they recommend you a game and you shit on it.

Yeah, I guess so. For a minute. I guess, yeah. So I get it. Like, I think that it's mean is that evolution is that like survival of the fittest is that like you know when you when he's presented with 60 choices you have to we do live in this world where they have to grab you in the first three seconds right i mean i i tell you what happened to me this weekend which is probably a bit embarrassing

and i'm sort of afraid to talk about it but oh no i was talking to duncan right and he said they've just patched they've done the pre-patch for the new wow expansion right oh no yeah sure sure he like basically he he he gave me he got a little baggie out of like white powder he got a little spoon a tiny little one of those little spoons put a little bit of white powder on it and like waved it under my nose and as i was just breathing i inhaled a bit of cocaine and i was like oh i love cocaine is this a dream um no this is wow this is a metaphor right um so did so did you actually install and play wow like you tried the pre-patch so i installed world of warcraft the oh the original nostalgia trip for vanilla and yeah the the classic not the classic version the the the retail yeah the retail version the

pre-patch leading up to the pre-patch for shadowlands which is the new expansion which coming out at the end of next month or whatever and because i usually play the expansions it's nice to talk to everyone it's kind of this weird like ritual almost every year and a half i log in and see all these old names and we're like oh what you guys are doing there's nothing wrong with that i've said the same i'm not actually looking forward to shadowlands i don't even know what it's about i i could care less but i probably will play it for a month it feels to me like a reunion a school going to a school reunion because i don't really go to school reunions or want to i don't think i've ever been asked maybe they have them and they don't invite me there's certain people who go to them as well though there's

certain types of people who um you know who you are people who've been successful and want to show off a little bit people who got wedgies every day at school but now they now they've made a lot of huge just you could imagine the kid in school who is going to still go to school reunions 25 years later you know you you know who they are right um it's you patrick allen uh anyway uh shame on you patrick move on he was lovely man patrick allen anyway um you fuck move on patrick going to the reunions come on nobody cares about school anymore so uh no so i don't know where that came from but uh so anyway i'm back in world of warcraft and i was doing like the they've added this sort of new tutorial zone to like grab people right and it's this it's kind of what you have to do and it feels like

they've built this partly in because it's almost like they did a survey this is how it went in my head they they were like we're gonna do a survey we're gonna put an advert out and it's gonna be like uh ask people we need some game testers have you ever played wow and then if people answered no they got all those people together and they showed them wow and they were like what mistakes are these guys doing how do they not know how to play this game you know almost like your kid playing metroid right so it's like someone who is a different generation um and and they built this sort of hour-long tutorial zone for people to go 1 to 10. The point is that now you can just go level 1 to 10

in the tutorial zone, and then you could just pick an expansion to go in, and then you level 20 to 50 in that expansion, and then that's it, your max level. So then you're playing Shadowlands. And I think Shadowlands, I don't think is going to level 60. It might do.

But the leveling experience, that whole competitive idea. Sorry, Pflax. It's all gone anyway. I'm trying to justify it in my head, though, to play it again. You know those couple of hours before the patch goes live, or the new expansion goes live, and everybody is on, just waiting, and you're chatting about like all the

old raids used to do and you've seen people that you haven't seen for years and and you're just having a chat and it's really exciting and fun and stuff that's that that's worth it just uh like i hope i could be objective i hope i could be objective as well and look at the game without that cloud that that nostalgia goggles because i it was bad for me and i think they've only made it worse like in terms of how it yeah of course hooks you in yeah yeah and i hope that me as a 37 year old man having played a lot of different games over the last year you know i've played more games over the last year than i've ever played in my life probably um you know because because i've i've kind of been very laser focused on on just a couple of specific games you know and i i feel better for

it i feel i'm i feel like i've been exposed to a lot of i think the best games that i've played lately i've definitely changed as my habits have you know like looking at wow now i'm not hungry to level or hungry to like play the way i was before right i'm not hungry to achieve things i'm much more i think the best games that i've played this year have had a good story behind them or sometimes they've even just been a story like where you just click your way through the story you know like i think i think my gaming desires have changed as i've grown up and it's kind of interesting to think that because i guess it means that people are all that's why games are so different right like each person is at a different stage on that journey between

or looking for something different some people are looking to something competitive to really kind of challenge them and to learn and to like yeah become an expert at like dota that's a good example where it's very competitive it's that's that's the whole game the whole game is trying to outsmart other people just to change the subject i've just just noticed that Dr. Simon Clark, arch suck-up, I think he must have studied brown-nosing, has just said, Happy birthday to Yolkscast Lewis.

This is the one day of the year when I remind you that you're an inspiration to people. Shut up, Simon. How dare you? Get off Twitter. Simon Clark's a lovely man. Well, you're talking about WoW, so I'm doing something else. I don't talk about Dota for half an hour. Let's go back to what was your birthday pflax 29th of march okay did

anybody send you any special messages flax say like oh just want to go out of my way today to say happy birthday pflax you're the you're the coolest old guy i know no thank god you're insightful quips and quacks on no no we don't you don't need people to tell you that you could just look at your fucking horoscope and it will tell you that you have been gifted p-flax with innate courage tenacity and intelligence in ancient times people thought that dragons were best suited to be the leaders of the world with character traits of dominance and ambition however you have an infamous reputation for being a hothead and possessing a sharp tongue wow i think we've seen that

this fucking trifle hey listen i always rude interruptions people don't acknowledge your birthday snide remarks about lovely simon clark i mean all right so sometimes sometimes when when i hear that kind of stuff i'm like yeah that does actually kind of sound like me. But I know that these things are essentially like cold reading where you say things like, I'm getting the impression that you've – you have someone close to you in your life and you only want the best for them. And they're like, oh, my God, yes, you're so right. But that sometimes this person maybe doesn't notice how much you want the best for them.

And they're like, oh, God, yeah, it's so right. Clarissa, yeah. Yeah. It's just like that. that sometimes this person maybe doesn't notice and her name is like oh god clarissa get clarissa yeah yeah yeah it's just like that i've got to get cla cla mandy yeah mandy that's what i say yeah sorry though maddie yeah that's what yeah so to go back to what i was saying when you start talking about horoscopes this is about 20 minutes ago, you said that when you were born can sometimes have an effect on your life and everything like that. Well, this is true. If you look at the age that kids tend to be at school, that can often translate quite directly to how well they do if they're athletes. Right. Yeah, this is the Malcolm Gladwell thing.

Tri-force warning. I believe we've spoken about this before. Right. Yeah, this is the Malcolm Gladwell thing. Tri-force warning. I believe we've spoken about this before. But the age group, the way they group kids in sport, especially the younger age, tends to be by year. So it's like the under-15s, the under-16s, the under-17s, and so on. If you are one of the older kids in that group, you'll tend to be larger because kids grow so fast at that age that there's like a measurable difference

in a year's growth uh and the kids that have grown quicker tend to dominate that age group and then they get selected uh to play at a higher level and the other kids maybe give up because they're smaller even though they might be brilliant footballers when they grow up as kids they're unable to compete with a kid that's two foot taller than them which is fair enough uh so i think that that is interesting and there are lots of other examples throughout um yeah i i think that if horoscopes were more aware of that type of thing maybe they'd be more accurate as well like i think you could always say that people who are born in september and october might do better at maths too right because they had more time to have their brains developed before they got put into sets you know and if you're if you start in the set the highest set of maths you stay in the highest

set of maths and you keep up too like even the worst guy in the highest set of maths tends to be better than the you know an average guy in the last set you know because they just they and it's maybe not that much difference actually but um it's definitely something that's strange but that's horoscopes right what we're talking about here is more years now there is a similar symptom in years like certainly there was this generation that was around at the tech boom right and you tend to see that these this whole group of billionaires were roughly a similar age you know bill gates and sun microsystems and ibm and all these people who took part. The man himself, IBM. All these guys, Cisco,

like the guys who ran all these companies were, and so you tend to get these clusters, right, of similar age grouped, usually white men. And it happened before, back when there was sort of, you know, oil boom and things like this. And so throughout, it does depend what year you're born. Like it can depend like what, if you're able to take advantage of a specific kind of new wave um of something going

by you know we were the right age for youtube um to be big and that's where you know there was this generation of sort of youtubers who were successful early on based on that. But we're far too old to ride the next whatever fad wave it was. Okay, listen, I've got one for you guys. Go on. Let's do a thing kind of like a bit like Room 101. But instead of like putting something into Room 101 or not putting something into, let's all talk about one thing that has annoyed or angered you this week what can you think of one thing that has annoyed you or like triggered

you somehow where you got annoyed and and and tell me what it is i'm interested to know right what annoyed you what annoyed you this week i've got so many i'm just trying to think of the one that would what is your standout thing kind of like even it could even just be like a theme like maybe like you know some micro angers that like the same thing like you know spread out through i played a lot of dota i've been playing a lot of dota with um i do a thing on tuesday nights right do you remember when lewis do you remember when you and me used to do scrub dota casts? Yeah, that was one of the funniest things we did. Right. It was a ton of fun.

So now what I do is the in-house casts. And on a Tuesday night, 8 p.m., little plug there, I stream in-house games between viewers. What channel is this on? This is twitch.tv forward slash period and flag. Oh, okay, great. I've never been to that one, but I'll have to check that out. When was that again?

On Tuesday. 8 p.m. on Tuesday. Oh, okay. What. I've never been to that one, but I'll have to check that out. When was that again? On Tuesday? 8 p.m. on Tuesdays. Oh, okay. What time zone? GMT. If it makes you angry, I'm sure it's going to be a great fucking stream. So we watched these guys play, and they're all terrible. There are a couple of them that are like, for the standard of the in-houses,

like you were saying about being first in the bottom math set still means you're worse than the worst people in the top math set anyway so some of these guys like crush these in-house games but they're you put we play with them in like our pub games and they they don't do anything so we've been in the mornings i've been getting stacks don't have stacks together with like my buddy ashwin and we'll choose three random goons from the discord to play with us they can be infuriating. I've gotten angry with them quite a few times. What else?

I went to the... What else? He's got a list. You just get angry with their plays. Yeah, it makes it... They can't help it. That's like angry a seagull for even a chip. I understand if you don't understand...

You can't be mad. You can be mad. That's who they are. All right, imagine if you were playing World of Warcraft, just to put it in terms that you might understand right and you you aggro the raid boss the fight starts and someone tries to run out of the room and that's their first response to the raid starting is bye guys i'm running away because there's a fight sure that is my bugbear is people running away when the fight starts right i hate it it drives me mad no idea what to do no because it's like it's all very well saying i don't know the mechanics and the spells and this overall strategy and everything

that's no problem that can be fixed but if you are a gutless worm whose first instinct is to take to your fucking heels i get angry because there's no fixing that it goes to the core of who someone is that they see their friends getting piled on we've just started a fight and your first response is to run away it drives me up the wall and i so we shout out people for that not casting their spells and running away just literally going and just dashing for the hills i'm just like what why play like i just don't understand it that that's one of my things i got angry about inability to swing the driver the driver at the golf range. Oh, yeah. How's your how are your golfing excapades going? I went to the driving range on Sunday. It was chill. I I can hit most of the clubs reasonably consistency for a beginner.

The five iron that's my go to club lovely club to swing nice and easy ping going straight as an arrow. Perfect. The driver is a whole nother matter um and i'm working on various things uh to fix it but i've spoken to some mates of mine who've been playing golf for years and they're just like yeah i never fucking use it it's a nightmare man it's a very hard i can teach you how to use the driver maybe when the lockdown and stuff is lift i'll come over and i'll give you i'll show you i can't wait i'll hold you from behind and put your hips you're obsessed with with that I know I love that I think you see golf as like a sexual thing I see everything

as a sexual thing I think that's what we imagine your lessons to be like P-Flex well I think he's fantasizing is what he's doing there's like a bronze hunky guy like

cupping you from behind yeah see that's again you guys going straight to that yeah I mean I I see all life like that everything in life is fairly sexual except for like

things matters to do with children and stuff like that. But you know, like when you've seen golf, you'll understand it is not sexual. Golf is the least sexy game. Oh my God. I did see something that annoyed me this week. So I,

um, I saw a picture of period flax trying to play golf. Friend of mine was watching for some fucking reason, uh, a smosh video where he was dressed up as an adult baby right and i caught the end of the youtube video and i was like what the fuck is this you had had enough that was it and i i i just was like there is no way that an adult baby is okay right that's just that's just soft core pedophilia right i don't think it's okay i mean i i'm i'm not i just don't think it's in any way shape or form

i mean it's creepy it's not i don't think we should be legitimizing it as a fetish at all well i don't wait it's this video wasn't about fetishizing this though it was a joke right like it's a lifestyle. No, it was. It was about defending this lifestyle and being kind of open to it. Now, we're on the internet now, and it's 2020, and we're very open to everything. Okay? But there's got to be a line in the sand. And I think that adult babies are over that line.

So they call it age play, right? That's one of the things they refer to. That sounds awful. That is the creepiest fucking term I think I've ever heard. they call it age play right that's that's one of the things they refer to is where you that sounds all like that is the creepiest fucking term i think i've ever heard like you mess around with i'm gonna pretend that i'm older and you're younger and all that kind of stuff like that that's it's it's disgusting honestly to me i mean i i'm i people say don't kink shame i will happily kink shame that's fucking gross don't do it okay good i'm glad because i just i was just like i was angry i was like this this this shouldn't be happening i don't do it okay good i'm glad because i just i was just like i was

angry i was like this this this shouldn't be happening i don't like smosh at the best of times but i just i didn't even do you know what smosh is a name that i have not heard in years like i just forgot that they existed like are they still going like they're still doing the same i see the guy who runs it is i only caught the end of the video so i assume maybe it's like the guy anthony padilla doing it on his own and maybe maybe it's all hyper aware and he's taking the piss out of it and stuff but i don't know but i just i just caught the end they were kind of like just thought pewdiepie before pewdiepie right like they were huge i remember them they were like top of the pile when we started anyway. I remember them being big. Well, I mean, he must still be very successful.

I was just like, why are you watching this? And why is this a thing? Like I was angry for two reasons. I was angry at the person who was watching it and the thing itself. Because I don't think you should be watching him in 2020. Even if YouTube just turns you i love that i mean that's great yeah you should not be watching smosh in 2020 but you don't watch the ogscast though i mean it's still just still relevant as anything i'm angry at various staff members for

for various reasons at all times as well but i can't really call any of them out for it. It's only stuff like people just not following basic instructions or putting zero effort into something. But that's just a daily occurrence. And I mostly hide that anger. And mostly the staff are competent enough that it's only one problematic staff member who is the most annoying at the time. And if he's not around around or she's not around it's the next the next person gets gets in my line of

vision yeah um like we forgive like if we have a really inept staff member as we have had in the past you know everyone else can pretty much get away with murder do you know i mean because it doesn't matter what how bad you are you're not as bad as the guy who is terrible yeah you guys have had some fucking some real stinkers yeah it's gotta be said yeah but we've had some one but equally we've had some absolute stars yeah you still have managed to i think we honestly nowadays we have very little problem like in the last year or so we've had very little problem we've had a truly great um yeah so if you're listening and you know who you are you're on the shit list i'm sorry to say like it's not looking good if you're that smosh watcher you're in fucking yeah if you yeah you know who you are

was it joe i bet it was joe oh no i can't say i can't say yeah it's it might be one of the creators hanging around in the office actually right um but anyway not duncan don't tell me it was duncan it wasn't it wasn't um you can't you can't start asking these questions either you're gonna get in trouble you're gonna get me in trouble oh i'll get you in trouble then i don't care that's what i must get the question yeah yeah so pflex do you know do you know who was born on your birthday me because there's always somebody like a famous person who was born on your birthday right do you know who's born on your birthday i'm trying to get us off this topic which i've successfully successfully done apart from i'm gonna love that jennifer capriati oh of course yeah old jenny's player yes jennifer capriati good what a great segue into another

topic that's jennifer capriati oh crap um what about you sips when's your birthday uh the 5th of june 5th of june i say i share a birthday with a uh a very famous streamer and it's not me it's uh it's somebody else who's way more popular than me on the platform that we share and i keep maintaining that we should be soulmates but i don't know if he's up for it so on your on your day the uh sawyers on your birthday so the sawyers t2 carried two cosmonauts to the sally at six space station what year was this uh june uh 1980 is that you yeah june 5th 1980 yeah yeah and also suti suksumkit the thai football player was born as well as yasa latif hamdani the pakistani constitution no way not anyone particularly stand out no no but do a search

for like later births on the same day uh People that share my birthday and see who comes up. Yeah, I'm talking some younger people. Wow, so famous people that were born on the 29th of March 1976. There's just Jennifer Capriati and Krzysztof Lukaszewicz. He's an actor and director from Poland that I have not heard of. No one famous. You're the most famous person who was born on the day you were born. I'm pretty sure Jennifer Capriati is going exact day crown she used to be there's got to

be some more Twitter followers as she got that's what I don't know was it March 29th famous birth 1976 that was it 29th famous birthdays uh she's got 23,000 followers get owned Jen exactly parents hill Brendan Brendan Gleeson you sharerence Hill. Brendan Gleeson. You share a birthday with Brendan Gleeson. Yeah, yeah. That's March 29th, but I'm talking the exact day. I'm talking the exact day. Yeah, no, come on.

That's not even that famous. Brendan Gleeson? Are you serious? Brendan Gleeson, are you crazy? Brendan Gleeson is not an A-list celebrity. Excuse me. He's one of the finest actors of his generation. All right.

What about Jack Wright, a 17-year-old TikTok star? He's also born on the 29th of March. You've really not been good for you, has it? CJ So Cool, a YouTube star. He's 31 years old. He's number two for March 29 birthdays. Wow. CJ So Cool.

DJ So Cool. Wow, he's number two? A lot of these. There's a gymnast here, Kellyanne Stankus. She's 24. Stank-ass? No, Stankus. Stank-ass? Stankus.

Okay. Oh, and Golo Kante was born on March 1st. Shout out. Who else? Damn. Irene, the pop singer. Do you know who Irene is? No.

Tess Daly! Get out. Yeah. Oh, she's like one of my... 51 years old shares a birthday with you. So when it's your birthday, Flax, know that Tess Daly will be 52 years old. Oh, man.

Still looks like she's 25. I am a fan. You are 32nd on famous birthdays. Am I in there? No, I'm looking on famous birthdays right now and march 29th right yeah yeah no i can't see myself i'm not seeing you on sips is 32nd on his day on the fifth here here are my ratings ted forsyth it says youtube star i am in terms of popularity ranked number 65 717 i'm 22nd when it comes to TEDs, and I'm 29th when it comes to

44-year-old web stars. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. The 29th most famous 44-year-old web star. God damn. What a fucking accolade. I'm so far down. They don't have a picture for me. What about Scott Wilson?

Scott Wilson. I think this guy played what's his face in the walking dead uh the far the farmer um you know the old man scott wilson he he has a birthday he shares a birthday with you as well i share a birthday with jeff goldblum nice really uh nice excellent uh pretty pretty good pretty good yeah Wow. June 5th, famous birthdays. Number one. Okay. Number one on famous June 5th birthdays.

Ninja. The Twitch star. I know. Yes. I know. That's who I was talking about. But guess who else is on this list? Go on.

You? Mark Wahlberg. Number six. Oh, right. Number six. He's a fucking asshole. Well, be that as it may, share a birthday is he yeah yeah no he is an ass what did he do to you you go go back and look at the stuff that marky mark did when he

was younger and i'm not saying oh young people do stupid shit it was fucking vile i'm not gonna say it but go and look it up for yourself he was a fucking piece of shit right is that what he is that what he did is that where he comes from being Being from Marky Mark? Yeah, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. That was him. I always just know him as like a... Guys! A knockoff. Guys!

I'm number 32 on this list. Guess who's number 38 on this list? June the 5th. No idea. Who? Kenny fucking G. Kenny G? Yep.

Kenny G? The singer? Kenny G. What do you mean the CSGO player? Kenny G, the saxophonist. I thought you meant the CSGO... I'm sure there's a Kenny G CSGO player. Come on! The singer? Kenny G. What do you mean the CSGO player? Kenny G, the saxophonist. I thought you meant the CSGO. I'm sure there's a Kenny G CSGO player. No, the singer.

The fucking, the alto sax sensation from the 90s. Kenny G is a CSGO pro. He's like, I thought he was, he's really good. I mean, Kenny G is 64 years old, man. Or is it Kenny X? I don't think he's playing CSGO at that age unless he's like. Yeah, Kenny G became like a huge star in China, didn't he? What, for his saxophoning?

He had like this one weird, it's become like the unofficial national closing song. It's a song called Going Home. And they play it like every time any businesses close. Popularity in China. Kenny G's recorded Chinese songs such as Jasmine Flower and The Moon Represents My Heart. Like every time any businesses close. Popularity in China. Kenny G's recorded Chinese songs such as Jasmine Flower and The Moon Represents My Heart. Since 1989, Kenny G's recording Going Home from the Kenny G Live album has become an unconventional mega hit throughout China. I'm reading the same thing as you are. Yeah, look at this.

I was paraphrasing it. It's amazing. It's a closing song. But does it mean closing song as in we're closing, we'll see you tomorrow? Or does it mean like this is the last time that we're closing no no it's like every day it's like to tell people to leave the store so it's like this thing that's in their minds it's like a trigger so it's like um in japan they play each train station has little jingles so when it stops people hear the jingle and they get off at their stop right or the jingles let them know that they're getting close to their stop lew Brindley is number 14 on his list,

but above Jeff Goldblum, who's number 16. And Louis Brindley shares a birthday with Shaggy, who is number 19 on this list. Fucking hell. And Christopher Lloyd, Doc from Back to the Future. Is he further down the line? Wow. Well done, mate.

Is he still alive? And Arsene Wenger, the football coach manager guy. I don't think you really share a birthday unless you're born on the exact same day. I'm just saying. This is the exact same day, but it's not the exact same day. You've got to find your birthday twins around the world. Well, not the exact same thing. You've got to find your birthday twins around the world.

Your number one on this list for your birthday, Lewis, is a woman who's 28 years old called S-S-Sniperwolf, a YouTube star. Oh, yeah. You were bested by S-S-S-Sniperwolf. S-S-S-Sniperwolf. I love the picture that they used for you for your birthday. It's one of the worst pictures I've ever taken. I love the picture that they used for you for your birthday it's one of the worst pictures I've ever taken I love it is it you in the bee costume? no he's got his glasses on and a short haircut

and he's got a really chubby face what happened? what the hell happened? between then and now oh my god that's adult baby Lewis yeah he's got a diaper on in that picture. That was during my adult baby phase. You're number five for Lewis behind Capaldi, Hamilton, Blissett, Sharp, and then there's you.

I know, there's a lot of famous... Lewis ain't so famous. What about Ted? How many Teds are there? There's probably not that many. Ted Danson, Ted Bundy, there's Ted Cruz, Ted Williams, Ted Nugent. It's not a great name. No, and these aren't really great celebrities either.

And they're number 22 for Ted's. Okay. Wow, look at Ted Cassidy's face. Holy moly. If you look at famous birthdays and Ted's, Lewis Cassidy looks like Frankenstein's monster when they just resurrected him. Ted Cassidy.

Oh, my God, he does. Oh, he played Lurch in the adams family that's why that's why yeah ted cassidy he sounds like he's got a beautiful like um kind of kind of you know 50s era tv star name yeah featuring ted cassidy you know it's oh it's such a such a like black and white movie name isn isn't it? Yeah. You know, you'd put that on the poster and all the girls would come, oh, have you seen that new movie with Ted Cassidy? And then it'd be like, oh, I love him.

He looks like the underside of a sofa. That is fucking hideous. Yeah. Yeah, he does. Maybe that only works if your underside of the sofa is my underside of a sofa, which is filthy. Never, never get under there. Well, it's more the angles. Well, yeah, but i watched the trailer for the mario kart live thing

uh which i just ordered for my kids yeah oh it's a good shout it's good fun they'll like can you not do your casual shopping during the trifles podcast i've tried to convince these guys to turn their monitors off for 20 seconds but i was just watching smosh videos uh now that you mentioned it sorry trying to find that baby diaper one so i i watched the trailer and they're driving these things around their living room and stuff like that and i was like god look how clean it is under their sofa it's like spotless and everything it's spotless and obviously they had to do it for the video but i've been to people's houses where it's just super clean under your sofa i have a cleaner she's here right now why would would I do it?

What am I paying her for? You could move the sofa. We got rid of ours. The sofa? We got rid of our cleaner. Oh, the cleaner. Because during the lockdown and stuff, we were just like, fuck, let's just get rid. We dumped her in the lab.

We didn't have her for a couple of months. And then the lady who organizes the cleaning for us said, we can send her in with a mask. I was like, get her in here. It's filthy. So yeah, she came in and cleaned. We realized that our cleaner wasn't actually cleaning much like uh our house is much cleaner now that my wife has just decided to uh to clean it herself i'll be honest with you she's fucking great our cleaner is fucking great you're lucky then because ours was not our cleaners tend to create a certain

thing so my cleaner does the mopping and like mops the kitchen and tidies that up and cleans the bathrooms and then doesn't do certain things and i do the windows i don't know it's like a team effort really yeah i mean we don't she doesn't do the windows but she does she does she hoovers the entire house she tidies everywhere she makes all the beds put shit away i don't know how she knows where it goes but she she knows better than i do she does the the bathroom like deep cleans everything even the shower unit all the taps everything the kitchen she does a great job in the kitchen she mops all the floors the wooden floors and like that and if we have ironing that we need done like the kids stuff for school she does the ironing she does it beautifully she's fantastic yeah i'd get somebody in to do

the ironing for sure shout out to those lovely ladies who who help us hopeless family you do you rarely see men hey it's always it's almost always i wouldn't hire a man i wouldn't hire a man i'm sorry lads i'd be that's sexist of me but i wouldn't hire a man as a cleaner no why what about a man dressed in a maid's outfit well that's i've had uh i've had men cleaners come in but it was... What about a man dressed as an adult baby pooping on the floor? That would be a deep clean. I had a man... Yeah, deep clean is always guys. You could hire him to like make your house messy.

It was like an industrial deep clean. It was like we were selling our flat and it was just like, after all the furniture had moved out and stuff, we just noticed that it was like kind of a bit grimy in spots. So I was like, I'm just going to phone this company up and we'll get like a really big deep clean done on it now that it's empty and it was like two guys came in with like a power vac and like a fucking hose extension and all this shit right because i guess you're

not gonna get due to do it unless you have some kind of special chemical that's dangerous you need to evacuate the house to do a cool tool then why can't why can't oh women do that that job though like it's really rare that you see this there's definitely just smart enough to say i ain't doing that i guess so yeah i wouldn't fucking do it yeah fair enough it's probably true holy crap well that's that's all we got time for today you gotta go i gotta go yeah i got some big boy things to take care of. I've got to get to the dentist. Thanks for watching. See you next time.

Thanks very much, everybody, and see you next time. Lots of love. Bye.