Triforce! - Triforce! #154: Cash in Hand or Cash AND Hand

Episode Date: December 2, 2020

Triforce! Episode 154! Everyone's going to the moon, cars are going electric, why can't we just go back to the days of cash in hand jobs? Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Good morning, everyone. Hello and welcome. It's a two degree Celsius morning here in Christ. In Bristol. Is it? The sun is low on the horizon. So low, in fact, that it's like streaming in through my lounge windows. Unusually so. A weird angle. It's making everything look slightly weird. I feel like winter is here. I haven't seen the sun in a long time.

Really? Yeah. Crikey. It's just vanished here in Twickenham. It's been gray and boring, but I see blue sky today. Oh, but there's the clouds. You know when the clouds look like they've been painted on

and it's really a bad job? Yeah. Like it's a really low res bitmap. That is the clouds in the sky at the moment. They do not look real, which feeds into the flat earth conspiracy. Yeah, really. I mean, what I think... Look how fake those clouds look, bro. moment they do not look real which feeds into the flat earth conspiracy is yeah really i mean what i think those clouds look bro i can't believe you're buying a great great segue into an

important topic that i feel like we need to to talk about we've never covered flat earth have we we have oh we have i'm sure we have in very very casually throwaway, insulting ways. No, I said that I was really into it. I'm pretty sure this is going back. I was really into following it and laughing at it and all the rest of it. And then I realized a few things. First of all, that a lot of the people who are real old school flat earthers are just deeply religious. And they believe that bit in the Bible that says that God made the earth and placed it upon the pillars of the earth or creation or something.

So they thought, oh, there must be literal pillars. I think that was a World of Warcraft storyline as well at one point. Well, there you go. But I mean, because if you take it literally, that means there is no room for metaphor and anything that's said in the bible at any point so if it says pillars well then there must be literal physical pillars holding up something and it couldn't be a board we'd see the pillars so it must be flat like that's so there's there's really no fun arguing with people you can still have pillars holding up a round thing right what if you're near the pillars on the round thing you'd be able to see them if you went went onto whatever part of the earth the pillars are in contact with,

you'd be able to see a fucking great pillar extending into infinity, holding up the earth, wouldn't you? But it's underneath the earth, P-Flex. You wouldn't see it. Right. Is the earth round, Lewis? Is it a ball? It would have to be like bicycle spokes, these pillars, if it was round.

If the earth isn't flat and the pillars aren't beneath it, we would be able to see the pillars. If the earth was a ball and the pillars aren't beneath it, we would be able to see the pillars. If the Earth was a ball and the ball was resting on four pillars, when you're on the part of the ball near the pillars, you will be able to see these gigantic fucking cosmic pillars. That's the point. The pillars don't allow for it to be a sphere, or you'd be able to just ask,

well, where are these pillars you're talking about? I don't understand. You can have pillars in a sphere. You just have to have them on little plinths. You'd have to have some little... Like a tetragonal, like a 3D... It would be like one of those 3D shapes with little layers on it. It wouldn't be perfectly spherical inside.

No, no, no. You're talking about... Are you talking about the pillars being inside the sphere? Yeah. Right. Obviously... That's what... My mind's eye is picturing pillars inside it.

He's talking about resting on the pillars. Like imagine if you had some pillars and you had a ball and you whacked the ball on top of the pillars like it was in a shit museum. The museum of balls. How many pillars are we talking about? Just one pillar? I don't know. He doesn't mention it. With like a little cushion on it?

More than one. And then the flat earth is resting on the cushion? You don't even see the pillars if you were on the bottom of the earth though p flag what do you mean we're on this is we've done it we've done it we did it it's only taken how long four minutes we did it we we said something completely insane um so that anyway oh he's here he's here that's part of it the other part of it is people that are just kind of sad and lonely and like being part of something and then you get the nutters who actually think it's true so yeah you never know which branch of uh flat earthian you're talking to or arguing with so what's the point yeah i guess they have their own factions of nutcases within nutcases yeah also you've seen the video of the guys doing the experiment that

proves that we're not on a flat earth and going we need to think about this again and getting the gyroscope and doing the gyroscope experiment it also proves them wrong and they're like something's clearly wrong here with the gyroscope we must have done it wrong yeah so there's no point it's it's not funny when they're committed and there's no winning them over it would be like trying to talk someone out of throwing themselves off a cliff and everything you tell them they're just like no i'm gonna do this after a while you just want to look away because you've tried everything and they're just not listening and they're going to chuck themselves off yeah you just have to wait for for those people to all just chuck themselves off you know i don't think there's any help in them

but yeah so that was the flat earth well they might find something down there who knows yeah just like a bunch of old pop cans and like some empty empty chip bags and stuff just like the breeze took it down there was like flat flat it would solve quite a lot of problems in terms of like garbage disposal we could just like sip says we could just push it all off just push it all off i've got a few questions about that yeah first of all it implies that we must be moving because otherwise you'd throw it off and it would just sit there you just have a pile of garbage around the flat earth so if you're throwing something off the edge of the earth what's causing it to fall oh oh it'd be the gravity of the

sub-earth because there'd have to be another earth underneath it so you're saying that we need a second earth but who's living on that just garbage it's called garbage that's literally just a garbage pile yeah but that garbage pile has to have greater gravity than our well yeah that's what i'm saying it'll be it'll be bigger so what's stopping us from falling towards that or is that what the pillars are resting on yeah that's what the pillars are resting okay yeah so the water will flows off the edge anyway right so we could just no it does not just just just it's overflow right it's like it's like a hole in your sink there is a giant ice wall lads remember that's what they think there's a giant wall of ice like a mile high preventing

the water from going over the edge no no no no no the water all floats off the edge and then it sort of turns into steam and it floats back into clouds and they come back around and rain on it again that's no that's not that's not. All the garbage doesn't get turned into steam. It just floats off into space. Sir, they believe there's an ice wall. It floats off the larger flat Earth below into space. God actually created extra garbage already floating in space, so the Earth would know what to do.

Yeah, that extra garbage is called Mars. Am I right? Fuck you, Mars. Jeez. Sorry, I didn't mean to get Mars-ish. That's the other thing, you didn't wake up this morning expecting to get owned like that, I'm sure. Yeah, I know.

Get fucked, Mars. It's convenient, though, when we look at Mars, how it's got its sort of flat bit facing towards us. That's quite handy, isn't it? What do you mean it's a flat bit? Well, the moon is rotationally locked to

us and i think that had a major impact on early man because you think that must just be like a disc because we've never seen the other side of it but mars rotates i've been um i've been i've been watching a lot of videos like spacex launches nasa uh launches and they're fun to watch huh they're really cool yeah but when the when the fucking rocket comes back and lands oh i know that's nuts yeah me too i think that's crazy i think it's so cool but i love this i love this day and age where like every day we're launching something to space it feels like there's there's there's a spacex launch almost every day it feels like it feels like it they've got all these these missions that they're running like starlink you know like they go they

launch like 60 satellites at once and stuff right i just think that's like really neat also like other space agencies are launching shit china launched something to go bring rocks back from the moon that's right no people just a robot no no but in in in two years time um nasa are sending more people to the moon um and there's this huge program it's like this i think spacex are involved and i think even um jeff bezos's space agency is involved in some ways there's like there's all this involvement by all these like contractors in america and stuff and basically so basically they're planning on sending people to the moon but like they want to build a base they want to yeah they want to build like a little science base on on the moon and the way to facilitate this is they're going to build another space

station that orbits the moon as like a staging point so like when the astronauts blast off from earth they go and then they rendezvous with this new space station that's going to be orbiting around the moon uh they get off you know they go to the toilet and stuff it takes like three days to get there um you know they brush themselves off a bit tighten the bolts a little bit like a fucking garage it's not like a fucking yeah i know it's like a little hotel like in space and then oh yeah we get off we have a fucking kfc yeah and uh but it's got it's got the lunar lander attached to the space station so they're not going to be bringing the lunar lander with them every time it's going to stay on the space station so when they dock with it um they can take this lunar

lander go down to the moon do their science and stuff lift back off rendezvous with that with the moon space station and then get back into their capsule or whatever it is and then you know get back to earth or whatever yeah but then in the future arcade and play like space invaders and like yeah they'll be costa and starbucks and stuff just to get it out of their system they can crash a few spaceships in games and then you know like because all the truckers get off and play fucking racing games don't they yes at least is it ad astra ad astra is that film with i think brad pitt going into space and never moving his face and showing no expression it was okay but they go to the space station and there is all fucking branded shit there and it's like yeah yeah well i don't think

this space station is going to be a bit like the uh the the iss right where it's just going to be like lots of little hallways that you float through with, you know, like tinfoil everywhere and stuff. I don't think there's going to be any shops or anything like that. No. But they're going to use this to stage missions in the future to go to Mars as well, which is kind of exciting. I don't know. I just feel like it's such a cool time to be alive, you know? Oh, God.

I've got a phone call. Is that your alarm? No, no. It's a phone call. Here, let me just take this quick i'll be two seconds okay it's uh it's it's elon oh good day sips listen stop talking shit about uh the musk station okay i thought we put a starbucks up there that's our business not yours i don't think he's got that harsher that's a saffra accent not anymore probably not no we got to go to bloody mars wow can you imagine the competition jeff bezos versus musk going to mars i mean yeah versus gates who's now dropped to third he was the second richest man in the world now he's third behind uh musk wow but here's

the thing right explain this to me lewis whenever i watch dragons den whenever i watch dragons den what do they say they say we'd like uh five million pounds for two percent of our business and uh yeah dragons over to you and they're like all right how much turnover have you had in the last year we've had 12 000 pounds turnover showing a net loss of a million pounds they're like okay so how do you value your company at let me me think, what is that, 2% for 5 million pounds? 250 million pounds. Oh, well, we are open to negotiation on the equity.

And they're like, your numbers are just so far off here, Anut. How the fuck can Tesla lose money every every year which they seem to do and they're still apparently worth billions and billions and billions if it's not making any money how much can something be worth i don't understand um so yeah i need explanation like the leonardo da vinci's mona lisa you know it's like it's like the it's one of a mediocre painting that everybody wets themselves about yeah it's that is it it's it's hype it's it's like, it's like the, it's one of them. A mediocre painting that everybody wets themselves about. Yeah, it's, that is it. It's, it's hype.

It's, it's, it's, it's, it's the number, it's, okay. So it's in all of the trackers now. It didn't used to be, it's just got into the S&P 500, which is the big tracker. And you can't be in that unless you make a profit. So apparently they've made a profit or at least shown that they've made one or something. That means that people who buy index funds, which is most people who get an exposure to the entire stock market pick up tester just automatically now see i've completely lost me i don't know what trackers or index markets or portfolios or any of that looks like i came back just in time let me uh

a little bit on index there's a lot of reasons A lot of people believe that electric cars are the future. A lot of people, like, we've apparently now got to have all cars be electric in the UK by 2030. I think it's the year. So my daughter said, well, when this really smelly van went past the other day, we were on the way to school, and she said, don't worry, Daddy. By 2030, all cars will be electric. I said, I don't think that's going to work. I said, I think they're going to say all new cars.

Yes, that's right. they're not going to manufacture right so it'll be another 20 or 30 years after that that you generally don't see uh crusty old bang well and the thing is though this date's changed a couple times already from lewis's it'll keep getting pushed back because it's too it's it's too much of a big sweeping change to be done in like 10 years time. I almost missed that, my mum joke. That was a good one. But yeah, all right, Sips. And I think people are... I missed the mum joke.

Can you repeat it? I don't think I can. Lewis, your mum is okay, isn't she? Before I make a mum joke. Across the old banger. Yeah, she's doing all right. Did you like the... I did.

I like the slide whistle style. You've got to chuck one of those in there. I love those little cute noises. No, I think people are banking on America and China and the people voting with their wallets and buying electric cars, right? I think that's where the market's going. The youth of today who are going to be buying the next generation of cars, people invest in companies that they think will do well in the future.

And I think people think Tesla's going to do really well and make loads of money and be really big and be the next Uber. And I'm sure there's some speculation, but also it's among the ranks of the biggest companies in the world. I think it's like mostly speculation, right? 500 billion. Yes, mad. Just take a billion and get 500 of those.

Yeah. The numbers are just astonishing. It's a big number. A billion is a very big number. People don't realize. It's a big number, guys. A billion is the new million, right? When I was a kid, a million dollars with interest rates and stuff,

you could live off the interest no problem um but now you you kind of like can't live off a million right like i think one of the reasons is there's no fucking interest anymore well that's like 20 years but also obviously everything just costs a lot more than it did like 30 years ago or 35 years ago or whatever yeah but yeah, like, it's, it's crazy to think that what used to be this huge number that everybody wanted is like, still big, don't get me wrong. But like, if you if you want a million dollars, and you were like, I don't know, 30, you probably wouldn't be able to live off of that million. Right? That's not the rest of your

life there. For sure. Anyone that thinks it is has never tried to buy a house. No. Yeah. I mean, that's, yeah, that's crazy. And if you,

if you look at what the interest on that would be. House alone will wipe out half, if not more. Right. And then, and then there goes your interest in all the rest of it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's crazy. It's interesting to like, yeah, like, well, that's, that's part of, but a billion is so far away from that.

And then 500 billion is like, again, just so, so far away. What is that thing about how long you'd have to count to a million would take you hang on i'll look i don't think anyone's gonna turn down a million dollars and i think a million dollars will put you on a path to be uncomfortable for the rest of your life what if uh what if you got a million dollars but you had to play five hours of Raid Shadow Legends every day for the rest of your life for the million? Would you do it? So let me give you an idea here.

If you wanted to count to a million, like every one second is one number. I love that question, Six. That's so good. Fucking Shadow Legends. I know. If you counted to a million, it'd take you 11 and a half days. If you counted to a billion, it would take you 31 and three quarter years. That's the difference between.

To try and count from a million to a billion. No, no. To count from zero to a billion would take you that long. Like that's the difference between a million is 11 and a half days and a billion is 31 and three quarter years. That's how big the difference is. So counting to a million takes 11 and a half days. If you just went one, two, three, three like one second per then it would take you that

long jeez that's so crazy that is crazy 30 years to count to a billion yeah yeah i take it back the billion isn't the new million i'd say 10 million is the new 1 million right i think that's a bit more so how long would it take you to count to 500 billion which is a lot times as long as 30 days so let me just run the math here actually um okay i'll just carry this seven here and then a couple of repeating numbers here 1500 years i think it's going to take uh 8000 and uh counting 85 years to back in the dark ages you'd be able you just have got to fight 500 billion now yeah oh my god see i mean the only reason these numbers can even exist is because we don't we use digital currency right no one's got 500 billion dollars like i don't know i don't i don't think i mean how much how much

cash how much cash in britain how much physical cash how much physical cash has ever been printed ever oh my currently less than three percent of our medium of exchange in the uk is physical cash 97 is electronic commercial bank money yeah i guess loans and debt and that all that stuff just makes more of it doesn't it as well so in the u.s there's 1.5 trillion dollars in physical currency i guess there's always been a lot of paper of a lot of the idea of money not necessarily actual well and think about it i mean that's that's what they can count right think of all those pallets of like shrink-wrapped stacks of bills that like drug dealers have in their warehouses and stuff too right oh i guess no that already has been

counted right yeah well they know how much they've printed not fully in circulation maybe because yeah but they know how much they printed yeah exactly yeah but i guess wealth is different though isn't it because i mean you're not putting a when you're valuing a company you're not valid that's not worth that much that's not creating money effectively it's it's it's what people it's like create it's like digging gold out of the ground that will that gold is worth something but it's not factored in like you don't print an equal amount of money when you dig some gold out of the ground right or when you build a house you don't print some money to match it right i mean that's why we're not on the gold standard are we so

no it used to be that the money was actually equivalent to gold and some people like that's what we should go back to and that's a really bad idea it's a terrible idea for for so many reasons um but and it's yeah it never it's never really worked for a long time but then again the currency supplies that we have around the world don't work super well a lot of the time anyway because of various other issues with things like you know but we got the we're doing the best we can everyone's i'm sure everyone's doing the best they can out there and i for one keeping our peckers up as much as we can out there yeah yeah that's what i want to say to all these politicians you know keep your pecker up yeah keep your peckers up you know you're doing a fairly mediocre job but we're getting through we're just sliding through yeah it's fine you're

doing the probably the bare minimum you can to hold on by the skin of your teeth to a fairly shitty job working with probably arseholes. Good luck to you. Good luck. That's my motto. That is my motto. I've got that printed above my bed I wake up every morning.

Keep being mediocre. Yeah, just then people won't notice you. Do you know what I mean? I was talking to Daph the other day and we had this guy come in as like an intern oh louis good morning i'm daft can i make you a cup of tea that's that's daft that's the best employee we've ever had by the way he actually is um we had this guy come in uh and do sort of and what he would do is he would sort of he was

finished he would finish whatever we asked him to do well he wasn't on my team so i didn't really do this second hand but apparently we finished his task or whatever he was given and then just sit there like silently um and people would note notice me are you all right he was like yep and then that was it so it's like an hour ago i two hours ago by you'd be like do you need do you need some help he's like oh i finished the task so i'm just waiting all right okay so i do you need a new task yes okay well okay well we could do that and so it was very odd and this sort of kept happening because normally i guess people would just browse reddit or just try and look busy or fake right looking busy you didn't know how to fake or go and just meander around the kitchen or walk around the office just just like

if you work in a big office you might just walk around and talk to people and just you know say oh well what do you think of this and you know just waste time there's a i'm reading a book called bullshit jobs by a guy called david graber he's really interesting he's an anarchist so he's a bit of a nut but he's he's very very funny um and it's about how many jobs out there are bullshit jobs where you just do nothing and he's got all these he got all these people to send him accounts of their terrible jobs oh gosh excuse me and there's like uh a guy whose job is better out than in there's literally the uh this this woman spends months and months working at this company uh producing like holiday brochures before she realizes

that the company is actually a scam and she hasn't done anything. She's never seen the magazine that they're meant to be producing, nothing. She managed to do it for six months and she was like, how bullshit must my job be if I work there and I didn't even realize we weren't doing anything. Like that's grim. And it's like how many jobs exist purely, like he said in the past, like medieval times, you had all these people that were employed as footmen who just stood around and sort of looked impressive. And they did nothing.

I mean, they didn't do anything. They just were there. And how many jobs essentially are managers needing people so that they look important? It's a very interesting book, and I recommend it. That's really interesting i i think there is an art to surviving in these get in these games as well right like um and seeing through the the scammy boss nature of the way people i think i've spoken to some people who i don't know some people who found these jobs online went into the place it felt a

bit scammy the guy worked some really hard for like a week and then fired them all do you know me with some excuse you know it was almost like he needed a bunch of chumps for a job and he made them all these promises you know and obviously people want to impress him and get a full-time job there and so they work hard for the first week and his strategy was that i'm just going to employ people for a very short time you know steal any creativity they have any ideas they have for my project and then fire and get new people in it was very odd very very exploitative kind of slightly seedy some people don't give a shit they're just they're happy to be terrible people if it means they might make a tiny bit of money. Yeah. That's life. I think I'm a bit old-fashioned in this sense because I still believe that, like, honest work for honest pay, you know?

Like, if I'm walking down the lane and somebody says to me, hey, you, come dig a hole. And I dig the hole. I'll do it for a nickel and a glass of cold lemonade. And I feel satisfied with that exchange Well, these post-depression times are very tough You know, I've spent two hours digging a hole Dig that road Without my shirt on

And I've been paid appropriately And I've been given a little bonus as well What was the bonus? My life expectancy is probably about 20 years You look like a hard-working young man With a full of spunk and vigor and the youth of today yeah do you want to earn a nickel working for me an entrepreneur of the time me an entrepreneur we've got this new material that everyone's going crazy about it's called asbestos there's a moon pie and a hand job in it yeah no what happened to those days i want those

ones back you know when you could just like leave your house on any given day walk down the street and somebody just gives you some sort of job to do you know what i mean you don't get that anymore well like i mean i think there is it's just you they they use immigrants like i know that in a lot of parts of america if you have labor jobs to do you go there's like a street corner you go there and there'll be a bunch of uh immigrants there and you pick them up in a van and they do the job and you pay them cash i thought that was just in the movies and tv shows no it's a real thing they all hang out around a coffee shop and you just pull up and say hey i need a gardener and then beep beep need eight people today and the first eight lads on the van get paid that's's pretty much it. Jesus.

Okay, well, maybe I take it all back then. I guess these jobs still exist. Do they get a cold lemonade, too, do you think? Of course. Right, well, perfect. I would expect that was part of the deal. No hand job. Like a nice tea, maybe?

Well, it's cash in hand. It's a cash in hand job, I guess. That's what they mean. When they say cash in hand, they mean cash in my hand. that's what they mean when they say cash in hand they mean cash in my hand cold bottle of suds cash your dick in my hand yeah well i take it all back i um i i honestly i know what you're talking about but i just thought that was like a movie thing you know i thought that was a bit of a a trope thing i didn't realize that that actually you have to be a certain kind of person to drive up to a bunch of people hanging around outside a hardware store and roll the window down. And like, I don't know, like you're picking up a prostitute and say, I'll have that one at the back and that tall guy.

You, how much can you lift? Much. Get in. Okay. It is seedy. I don't know how much how much this happens really but i i guess i guess there is a time when you know the boiler's playing up and i wish i could just drive to a hardware store there's an out of work you know boiler man there and he's wearing the british gas uh hat and stuff and you're like you get in hiring you for the day and he does. And you're like, you, get in. I'm hiring you for the day.

And he does the boiler. You're like, there's a leaky pipe under here. Could you fix that? And the shower head's just like a bit sort of gone shut. Do you think I need a new one? Because I can't get the old one off. Do you know what I mean? Just get all those job jobs done.

And then as soon as he's done, you give him a lemonade, quick hand job, and out the door. Why a hand job? Do you give him the handjob or does he give you the handjob? I think just the lemonade, honestly. You're paying him cash in hand, remember? So you pay him. It's cash and hand. I guess you can choose whether you give the handjob or receive the handjob.

It's up to you. If you want good people, then you better get busy. That's all I'm saying. You better start working those muscles. Oh, I see. I assume online has replaced a lot of this stuff. I don't know, because it implies that they have to have the internet. What kind of jobs can you do online, though?

Like data inputting? Scamming. Scamming. Gold farming. Bitcoin mining. But also, I mean, online's replaced the back pages of the local newspaper, where there would be man with a van you know able to you got craigslist haven't you so yeah i feel like craigslist you can set up like

an ebay account and sell like your old stuff too you might have like some old napkins or i don't know an old sandwich that looks like jesus or whatever they sell on ebay it's mostly yeah it's even jesus shaped stuff yeah of happy 22 napkins pokemon cards that are worth like 40 grand and stuff three plastic rulers album scratched yeah it's like just random random shit isn't it it really is one used tissue five dollars It's really not that. I think a lot of people just use eBay as shit Amazon. They just resell stuff on there because it's just another place to get vision on your product, right?

I know. I mean, I know a bunch of people that have had eBay stores. My friend had one, but he used to buy Lego, bulk secondhand Lego or charity shop Lego, and then on eBay he had a store and you could customize which bricks you wanted. But he used to buy Lego, bulk secondhand Lego or charity shop Lego. And then on eBay, he had a store and you could customize which bricks you wanted. So if you just wanted 10 of the little tour bricks in purple or whatever, he could do that. So you would literally select exactly what you wanted from his store page and then they would post it. And they would make like a fraction of a profit on each Lego sale.

Yeah, so Lego do do this. You could actually do that on Lego now. But that's extremely time-consuming, low-profit world, isn't it? And you've got to have an absolutely massive warehouse space for all the little parts, right, to hold on to it all. And also like buying up – I mean, you've got to understand that most Lego on the internet, I say most, but a good proportion of it's probably been played with by kids

and their sticky fingers. And I don't really want to be buying used Lego on eBay because it feels like, I guess most Lego people are quite clean, but also kids. And so, I don't know, just the idea of it all being covered in jam. I think the most depressing thing I've ever seen in my life. I guess he has to run a bath and like soap all the Lego up and wash it it and then dry it on a towel i'm just i'm sorry i'm going into the whole idea of buying second-hand lego and selling it out of your house like yeah it's it's grim my

friends my friend's dog took a shit one time and inside the shit there was one of those two brick legos that that was depressing like. Like it passed through his whole stomach and everything. Come out in his shit. Whose phone is that? It's mine, sorry. He's just leaving it. I gotta leave it, yeah.

I can't disturb. I was like, it was carried on. I was like, is it my phone? Is it someone else's in my house? I told the guy to email me. I don't know why he's calling me again, but there you go. So you just don't answer? Yeah. Was this the guy to email me. I don't know why he's calling me again, but there you go. So you just don't answer?

Yeah. Was this the guy you picked up from... Before, yeah. To do your hand job? No, no. I've told you guys that we're trying to get our loft converted, right? Yeah, many times. Oh, right.

Is it finally happening? It's getting there. It's not straightforward at all, it turns out. When we had ours done, it was a huge production. It took months. Oh, my God. I lived here. The family might have to stay with you in the shed for a while.

They've dug up part of my driveway, and they've cut out part of my deck in my backyard at the two corners of the house because they have to inspect the foundations. Oh, my God. Are they going to put pillars up? No, I don't think they need to they just need to see how far down the uh the foundation goes to see i believe it was a reference to the foundation

of the earth being placed i know yeah i know okay i know you glossed over it so quickly i know i'm just done with that i'm really done with that conversation that's why i just wanted to know that's fair let's quickly quickly on he's up to he's up to the stress of this fucking roof so they have to they have to inspect the foundations because um in order for the loft to to go in and and have some stairs going up to it and stuff they basically have to reconfigure my my roof like it's like a like it's like a truss or something i can't remember what it's called so at the moment your roof will be like a triangle, right? It is, yeah.

So they're going to put some dormers in and shit. They flatten it out. So it becomes like a sloping on one side. And then it should be a flat roof that ends in a flat wall rather than a sloping. Because otherwise, there's no fucking space up there. They flatten it out. And then you put your room up there. But when they did ours, there's obviously no stairs going up to the loft. Yeah. And the way we had the stairs

in the house meant they had to remove a staircase, which is the most mind boggling thing when they do it, especially because the staircase was just in a supporting wall. So they had to remove the entire middle wall of the house. Yeah. And the stairs and all the brickwork everything that was there prop it up with these big sort of um pillars whole metal poles that they just crank up there yeah temporarily to hold the fucking house up and then they put steel beams in in a sort of eight not an h but like an h if the top bit of the h was missing yeah what shape would that be like a goal like a football goal yeah that's it and those steals weigh like tons that's it that's what they're doing it's unbelievable in ours as well and that's why they have to make sure that the foundation can support

the the extra weight and stuff so it's like it's it's fairly complicated but i mean it's been approved and everything but it's just the structural engineer needs to come in and do his stuff so that was him on the phone it's like it's it's interesting but it's really really it's scary yeah it's really convoluted process but yeah you're you're banking on these people knowing what they're doing because you don't want your house to collapse in on you right one day uh which is kind of scary yeah it's scary because they they literally cut open your house like to its most personal sort of points and you're like damn yeah there's nothing left like they really opened up my house here it does feel a little uh well i just

hope they don't dig down too far and expose my um weird dark creepy sex dungeon that i've got um deep in the foundations of my house um when they were drilling the driveway i was very anxious that all of a sudden they were going to i could hear the disco music and at one point i thought they drilled too far down and i saw like some neon light coming out but i think oh yeah mate what you got there is just you got the skeletons of bows just lying around what you need to do is you dig a bit deeper and concrete them over you know otherwise you get the smell coming up yeah you know i had a really weird dream about uh digging in my neighborhood right it was like because at night you know sometimes oh my god that sounds like the most 80s tv show ever yeah it's like a

tom hanks movie at night if you if you're lying there unable to sleep sometimes you'll hear very strange distant city noises yeah something's happening like sometimes from he throw a plane will go out that sounds like none of the other planes and i'm like damn that's the that's what that's when they get the ufos out that's what i'm thinking so sometimes at night you'll hear really weird distant construction sounds and i thought i was lying there sort of dreaming half half imagining like a lucid dream what if they dig in a tunnel to hell man imagine this though you hear those construction sounds okay and you think that it's in real life but what if it's the little dream dwarfs in your mind that's also

constructing your dreams oh there was a twilight zone episode there was a twilight zone episode where people come in and and sort of remove the old stuff from your time bit as you're moving forward in time yeah and they construct the next bit yeah so sometimes when you lose something and then find it again and you're like i'm sure i left it there and you go away and you come back and then it's there it's because they forgot to put your keys back when they were quickly changing over. So time is like a series of boxes. And when you move forward from one box to another, the deconstructors come in and remove all the furniture and trash everything and then go off and create the next box beyond the one you're in. And I thought, damn, that's a really cool concept.

But this couple gets stuck there and they've seen it. And they're like, yeah, you know the truth now, so you're stuck here forever. It was a really cool concept but this couple gets stuck there and they've seen it oh and they're like yeah you get you know the truth now so you're stuck here forever it was a really weirdo episode yeah but yeah it's flat explains a lot no it's like it's just a visualization it's not you're not actually in a box but the guy explaining was like imagine if you're in like we construct your bit of time and then once that starts to decay and you move forward in time i don't know it's time time's a right? It's like a one dimensional thing. Yeah, but well, no, we can only perceive it moving in one direction, right? But I mean, that was the whole point of the film Arrival was that those aliens could perceive time as

in its entirety, like they were fourth dimensional beings, so they could travel at will mentally forwards and backwards through time, whereas we can only travel in one direction i watched a video about this the other day yeah imagine if you were one dimensional beings and two people had an argument and one of them said i'm leaving i'm never coming back and walked away they would eventually come back around to the other person they'd be like how did this happen well it's because they're actually living on a sphere but they can't perceive it because they are one dimensional. So they think that their universe is just flat, one direction, that's it. So we are three dimensional, but when we can't perceive time, we just experience it because it's a dimension. So we can't perceive the beginning

and the end and all the rest of it. We can only perceive one bit of it at a time. But if we were four dimensional beings, we could move around in time at will which would be a completely different experience in the same way that being a pure nutty man a 2d organism would be again very a very different experience like i mean we can't imagine it because we're three dimensions yeah i saw a lot of that stuff like being three dimensions looking into two dimensions and it's like everything's like a an amoeba right it's got little it's got little it's like a little blood cell so it's got you can see the little edge of it and then it's got all if it's insides and whenever i thought about going from four dimensions three dimensions i was like can they see inside us do

you know what i mean like that was the that was the thing that i was like in my head inside us the amoeba people in four dimensions. Can they see inside us? No, I guess not. No, because the three dimensions are still the three dimensions. It's just that the fourth dimension would be time as a by our understanding. So they would be able to perceive all time. Do you remember at the end of, uh, interstellar? Yeah. So the, the beings there who, you know, they built something inside the black hole. To them, time is like a thing that they can construct and you can go backwards and forwards in it, no problemo to any point,

and sort of interfere with it. Because he goes back in time and sends a message by tapping the... Sorry, for the multiple spoilers this episode. Yeah. If you're planning on watching Interstellar... If you haven't seen these movies, they're still very watchable

because P-Flex is talking about the kind of slightly odd, complex concepts that aren't really very well accepted in terms of, you know, actual science. But carry on. being that would mean that if they looked inside my friend's dog they would see that two um brick piece of lego in his gutty works before he shit it out um because they because they could see time and so they would see him they would be able to see him that would have they would have seen him eating and shitting it at the same time wow or potential arrival has a really good example of how you could actually live that way in that she's in she's in one period of time in the in the past and um a guy says something he says it's a

zero-sum game this is a zero-sum not non-zero-sum equation is used in a conversation and in the future she has a conversation with her daughter where her daughter asks um what is that term for when something is you know balanced and and all the rest of it? And she's like, no, I don't know. And she's like, she travels back into the past to remember that phrase and then goes back into the future and reminds and tells her daughter non zero sum game. And you sort of think, wow, that was weird. But when you watch the movie again, you realize that she's begun traveling across her whole lifespan all the time that she has and ever experiences she can travel to any point and she can use things from the past to to to change uh or remind herself of things in

the future it's very that went completely over my head if you saw the movie you'd understand what's the movie i've seen it like twice and i didn't even realize that oh really arrival is it called it's brilliant yeah it's about these aliens arrive, you know, hence the name of the film. In a big egg. I get it. Yes, but they're all over the world and they speak this weird language that they can't understand. It's all pictograms and sort of circular ink splots. And as she begins to learn their language, she starts to have these weird experiences where she suddenly sees a

child she's never seen before or a person she's never seen before. And she starts to have these weird experiences where she suddenly sees a child she's never seen before or a person she's never seen before and she starts to realize you know something strange is happening to her as well as her past right so what's happening is as she begins to understand their language she begins to move to be able to perceive time as they do which is as a circle with no beginning or end it's just that the start of your life and the end of your life represent the the ends of those circles but you can move to any point on that track so she knows that she's going to have a daughter she also knows that her daughter is going to die and does it anyway and when she tells her husband this he's livid and storms off so the film starts

and we think she's just a divorcee but she's whose daughter has died but of course that hasn't happened yet that is the literally the biggest spoiler in the entire film i'm so sorry i've forgotten it completely and i think it may have even got over my head i'll check it out though that sounds good that sounds yeah i enjoyed it i was i was i'd recommend i've been watching the queen's queen's gambit recently oh queen's gambit was great i'm almost done i've got two episodes left but um i've really enjoyed it i thought i think i can recommend it as well you can play her on chess.com elizabeth harman you can play her so that the they program the chess bot to play like her all right and uh and it plays like her because all the games are based on real games of chess yeah um yeah there's a youtuber called agadmator who

does um an analysis of chess games both current and historic i watched a couple of videos they've gone super viral he's brilliant he's brilliant yeah he's obviously like a fairly a fairly fairly professional chess player who makes these analysis videos some of them are a little bit skippable um but but generally like really interesting stuff and the whole tv series you don't have to know about chess to watch it. And it doesn't really go into detail about the chess beyond like, you know, almost like you don't even really have to pay attention to the chess games.

It's more about, oh, she's, the commentator's like, oh, she's stuck in this position. What's she going to do? Do you know what I mean? That sort of stuff. It's good because it subverts your expectations. It's not what you expect it's going to be at all i was expecting any minute for the subplot to pop up that would be fucking dull and shitty and it just didn't i was constantly expecting the tropes

to hit you know because she she goes into an orphanage you're expecting all these things to happen that you're being conditioned through decades of television to be like oh yeah at an orphanage this is gonna happen yeah it doesn't happen and you're like okay and then she's like she goes this thing and you're like okay this thing this is gonna happen and it doesn't happen you're like right and it's constantly almost it's constantly almost a relief right exactly exactly i was so relieved i was like they didn't fuck it up which is a shame because that's not a very positive thing to say about a show but it is good yeah it's better than just no but it's good because it's just not just at least they didn't because it's just not fallen it's almost like someone they haven't had that arsehole in charge who's like well hey we got

we got an orphanage here what why ain't we why haven't we got an abuse of children going on let's get some music going on do you know what i mean like her relationship with her adopted mother i thought that was going to be that her mother was like no girls play chess yeah and that would be like i really like the relationship with that actually it was brilliant i thought her and her mom was great i mean they were obviously it was kind of a toxic they enabled each other to be terrible alcoholics and and you know but they you could tell that they they were spoilers here because it's like it's if you haven't watched it do do so because i recommend it i really enjoyed it and i i think just it's enough to's if you haven't watched it do do so because i recommend it i really enjoyed it and i i think just it's enough to say that it subverted my expectations absolutely and that

it's rare rare enough god on television it feels like these days like don't be honest you know when she's in the basement very early on learning to play chess with that old guy i i was i really assume this guy's gonna fucking molester isn't he like that that's what's gonna happen that's this is gonna suck yeah it sucks though that our brains go there i know it's just because most most of those settings um are are lead-ups to that kind of thing happening in most movies and tv shows and stuff right it's like a conditioning like we're just used to used to those settings lazy shitty tv and films yeah yeah it's refreshing to see a different side of things yeah you know i

think that's that's it was great um and i recommend it yeah what else you guys been watching what should he what should he daytime tv um again i don't watch daytime tv i i watched uh a film called dark waters with mark ruffalo uh kind of boring in all honesty like it's about a guy who uh he's a lawyer for a big city firm and but he's from like fucking west virginia or something like that yeah they're like oh shitty boy now are you coming back and help me with my poisoned cows and he's like i can't help you with your poisoned cows i'm a busy lawyer and they're like oh look how bad my cows are all they got sores on them and they're all sick he's like oh okay i'll have a look and they it's like it's a true story so it's actually kind of not that dramatic um and it's all about how dupont chemicals

dumped stuff in the oceans and i didn't realize this butflon, when they made Teflon, it was like this miracle product. If you want to know, any miracle product made in the 50s or 60s is going to kill us all. Like, that's pretty much the way it is. Right, yeah. Teflon is like, they invented Teflon. It's like a long chain of carbons with one fluoride atom in it or something. And it's fucking indestructible and it exists in like 99.9% of all

living things on earth now because of the way they dumped Teflon it's in them apparently that's what it says at the end of the film and that's true and I was like okay that fucking sucks humans are full of things though like we've got loads of microplastics in us we've got loads of dodgy stuff in us We've got loads of microplastics in us. We're not meant to be. We've got loads of dodgy stuff in us.

We've got loads of heavy metals in us. We're not meant to be. That's the point, isn't it? And it's almost impossible to get it out, right? Because new humans are born from other humans who are full of all this stuff. And so, you know, you get a baby, and even a baby's born with microplastics.

All these non-stick, plastic-filled babies are being born all over the fucking place. Scary shit, dude. This is some sci-fi dystopian shit. Like, they find, I've seen them go find, they take samples from the deep ocean of animals and they've got, like, plastic in them. Because it just filters down to the low levels and it gets in these tiny prawns and shit down there. They've got plastic in them. They've probably got fucking Teflon in there as well.

God damn. What's going to happen? We're eating those. happen we're eating those and we're eating those those are the good ones to get because you control those off the bottom of the fucking sea do you know what i mean right they're the tasty ones i think the big takeaway here ladies and gentlemen is don't eat teflon it's if you've already got enough in your pan you don't need more when you fry up your food in your teflon pan you're eating it it sick. That's true, actually. You've got to use a microwave. That's true. This is the solution. No, no, no.

No. But, hey, listen, I've got to go. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Okay. You've got to go. We have to do a quick one today. This is the very first Christmas Triforce.

We'll do another one next week. I mean, me and Lewis could carry on for a bit, but I guess that would be awkward. Oh, no, let's not do that. That's going to be some weird date. It's like, you know, this isn't the weird person thing. It's all right. If you don't want no let's not do that that's going to be some weird date it's like you know this isn't the weird if you don't want to hang out with me

that's cool I understand I'm insufferable I see why you wouldn't want to it's just one of those things thank you for listening

to Mr. Triforce Podcast thank you it was a good one we'll see you next week everybody bye bye bye