Triforce! - Triforce! #158: Harmonious Balance of the Triforce

Episode Date: January 6, 2021

Triforce! Episode 158! 2020 hit Pyrion hard with a positive Covid test, Lewis has some sad news but the harmonious balance of the Triforce brings Sips new life! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. We're recording this on the very last day of 2020. Of the very worst year of our lives. Yeah. Pretty bad one. I feel like people were saying that about 2019. At the end of 2019, people were like, God, what a shit year. It feels like it's something that's been happening again

and again and suddenly people think people think 2021 suddenly it's gonna tick over and everything's gonna be fine like well that's kind of not how the world works i know what you mean about 2019 but 2020 i think categorically has been far worse no i agree i mean i think people were expecting 2020 to be a good one yeah i mean i did you guys remember the australian fires did you remember the fires in australia at the start of the of this year when the whole country was like an apocalyptic wasteland and there was just thick smoke i had completely forgotten about that yeah well exactly i watched this uh death to 2020 which is the we were just talking about it it's Charlie Brooker's screen screen wife or whatever

he used to do it every year on BBC and obviously since he's been doing Black Mirror and being out in America I think he's gotten a bit more

I don't know budget yeah respect I was going to say yeah because that was always a great show

and yeah I recommend it on Netflix I watched it yesterday I really liked it I'll have to watch that I haven't watched it it is worth a watch yeah it's worth it yeah surprisingly it's quite it's just it's quite good um but yeah that was this year unbelievably those the australia on fire well

you know it's it's minus two according to my phone outside it's freezing cold this morning yeah it is a cold one today for sure we We missed a week of Shryphel's podcast last week because Pyrrion was ill. Ill. Very, very, very ill. I had the Rona. I actually had the Rona. He did have the Rona. I got tested. Mrs. F and I got tested on, I think, the 21st or something like that. So this was after your kid was being held at home, remember, though? Yes. So she was sent home.

Your kid was being held at home, remember, though? Yes. So she was sent home. Her entire year was sent home from school a week early from what would have been the end of term because a bunch of kids in her year tested positive. On the bus, yeah. Or people in their house did. So I was like, all right. So we went home.

So she came home and we kept the youngest home because we thought, what's the point? And also, you know, if our eldest is at risk of spreading it, then she will have given it to the youngest. And she would also be at risk. So we just kept them both home for the last week of school. They were like, this is great. And then subsequently I got the sort of scratchy throat. If you remember, I think when we recorded, I had a bit of a wobbly throat. And everybody in my, when I was streaming, everyone in chat was like,

oh, he's got the COVID because it's kind of a meme. And I was like, shut the fuck up. I don't have COVID. I don't have a fever. I don't have a cough. I don't, you know, I haven't lost my sense of taste or smell nothing. I'm fine. Subsequently, it turned out either that was the start of it, which I suspect, or I caught it a few days after that. But either way, I had it. It was the sickest I've ever been. And I had the Chinese flu before, which I thought was the sickest it's possible to be i was well wrong it

is much easier to be an awful lot sicker and i it was so fucking horrible um that even thinking about it uh it's weird actually gives me a cold sweat with um with like with people who vape and just vaping in general like uh when i used to vape i remember not having much of much of a sense of taste or smell so it's like it's kind of like those are those are the sort of early warning signs that maybe you've you've got it right and you just kind of don't notice it yeah yeah you wouldn't really notice right if you're if you're an active but i'll tell you what you think you don't have a good sense of taste or smell but when you actually lose it yeah it is such an eerie sensation. When I was in the depths of it, like really sick, I had sort of feverish patches. So I always think

of a fever as being like, your head is hot, maybe your body's hot, and you'll go hot and cold and hot and cold and you feel lousy. This was like my entire body ached all my organs ached my back was killing me all the time and i had these burning patches like my kidneys were red hot my like my lungs felt awful i'm not even sure where my kidneys are but i like the idea just back there just if you reach around the back it was like it was like on et he was, you could see them glowing red through his skin. It was literally like that. But in patches. So part of me is normal.

Part of me is red hot. So I was just lying in bed. There was a three-day period where I didn't eat. I didn't drink as much as I should have because it made me feel ill to drink anything. It hurt to move in any way. So I just lay there. I didn't do it. I couldn't watch anything couldn't

listen to anything i was just literally lying the nice little things that i heard about describing was if someone put a 50 pound note on your windowsill you wouldn't get up to no you wouldn't you absolutely that's how bad you feel and the other thing is like all of the stuff that normally works as a distractor like normally when you Normally, when you watch a movie or something called TV show or something you like, you quite quickly, bam, you're in it. When you're very sick, you can't get into that. You can watch your favorite movie for 10 minutes and just be sick of it.

I literally didn't do anything. I tried listening to podcasts. It's really weird. Couldn't stand it. So I just lay in my room. And also, because I was in so much pain, like actual physical pain all the time, I couldn't sleep. So I would sleep for an hour and then wake up because I was in agony to have to turn over a tiny bit, which hurts and wipes you out. I'd have a bit of something to drink, take some more drugs, and then just try to go back to sleep. And I would just lay there.

And you know, when they talk, it's so stupid. This is so stupid. When people talk about being in solitary confinement and how, because my family were just leaving me to it, which is fair enough. I was just upstairs, just moaning. They left me to it. And I was there, there was a good 36 to 48 hour period where I was sleeping maybe an hour at a time for two days and just literally unable to do anything completely immobilized and my brain was just trying to entertain itself in some way so i was imagining conversations no it was awful because it's horrible but yeah it's funny but it's funny now but it was so bad but i was just imagining movie sequences like you know that bit in aliens when ripley

comes back out of quarantine or out of the uh the the they rescue her from the pod and she's having to explain to the corpos about what happened in the alien so you're telling me that you found an alien that has concentrated acid for blood you know that bit that verbatim in my head replayed that entire scene because my brain was just like let's just think of something you know and then like some some scene from the matrix and then some conversation i'd had when i was like 12 suddenly reappeared in my brain it's almost like you were in solitary confinement or something in prison and your mind was just yeah yeah sorry well by which i mean like that feverishness yeah it's kind of this horrible, really,

obviously really makes us not want to get sick. Don't. Do not get Corona. I'm listening to me kids out there who I know there's this app called vibe. And I don't know if it's in America or if it's over here where you arrange, like be a rebel, have a party. Don't. Oh my God.

Don't do not get Corona. It's fucking horrible. Don't do it and the first thing i thought when i had it was if my mum had this i'm not kidding i think it would finish her off a hundred fucking percent she is old well me too like i went so i went to my grandmother's funeral this week sorry buddy i shouldn't have said that well no no it's totally fine um my dad just had the jab as well, actually, his first jab. So, because he's 80, my dad, so he's in the vulnerable range. And my mum and him are obviously, the whole family is very protective of him.

And so we're really sort of like, oh, you know, he's the one who's at risk. So we're not sure whether, you know, and I think it's quite restricting because my parents used to be quite, I don't know, like, they feel like like since my dad's 80 it's like let's make the most of things and do stuff you know and i think they've been quite annoyed in the last six months because they've been trapped inside it's mean it's meant they've not been as active as they normally could be yeah you know physically and i think that is detrimental to to elderly people too you need to try and keep active and stuff and so they've they have done a little bit of we're trying to walk every day and stuff but yeah you know when you're trapped in the same place it's it's hard yeah it's difficult yeah you know going out anywhere feels like a little bit of a risk when

it's kind of you know out there and so i think it's quite scary for for these these these folks you know um i don't know i feel a bit sorry anyway it was a very nice funeral actually good um not very many of us there because we don't have that many big of a family anyway really yeah i guess with restrictions and stuff it's a bit weird for getting people together and stuff anyway it was it was a bit stressful for my mom because she sort of felt like she was organizing it and it wasn't quite it didn't quite go to plan like they played the wrong music at the start and then it sort of overran a bit and so they had to cut one of the readings and then another sort of they played the wrong music at the start and then it sort of overran a bit and so they had to cut one of the readings and then another sort of they played the wrong music at the end and so my mum was a little bit what songs did they play well like acdc or something

just accidentally i i think it was just um they pressed the wrong button or they they googled up a song and just the wrong version of it or something you know i mean how hard the fuck is it you get given two songs you play the songs i know honestly i think it was all just a bit poorly i bet nobody said anything because you don't think well but yeah my mum said something at the time as well and she was quite stroppy at the time but i think she was also a little bit upset um and sort of i actually i think everyone else thought it was fine and didn't really notice i think one of the reasons it sort of overran was because my dad um sort of talked a little bit about how he knew my nan and it's interesting how you don't realize necessarily how other people know other people right and so i think for a period of time when nana had just sort

of gone in after her after my granddad died and after she kind of moved to a smaller flat yeah near nearer to where my parents were my mom and dad sort of regularly visited her every you know a couple of times a week to bring her supplies and help her out and do stuff and so my dad ended up actually sort of spending quite a bit of time with her um and you know like so he because they they read the paper together and so they talk about certain things and she'd always try and like not exactly bait him but kind of like you know see if she could get him to get his opinion out or something you know and so they had this kind of odd friendship that that blossomed and you know they played a lot of Scrabble together and I think that

it was it was nice to hear how she had you know been a part of his life um from a different point of view because to me you know as someone who you know I moved across the country and so I didn't see her for a few years but before that when I was at home and when I come back from uni and when I didn't have a job I sort of took on the role of going and seeing her every week. So there was this period of two or three years when I got to know my Nana very well and became sort of friends with her. So it was, I think each of us kind of has our own positive memories of this person in our family who I guess none of us knew, you know, super well, but each of us knew a different part of her you know because my mum and her sort of bonded a bit on flowers in her garden and things like this anyway it was all it was a

very nice event it snowed like crazy wow just the skies opened and it just absolutely snowed where was it snowing where did you have to go for this so it was only an hour on the train up from so i took the train from bristol to cheltenham how busy was the train up from, so I took the train from Bristol to Cheltenham. How busy was the train? Well, fuck, fuck, no one. No one was on it. Well, fuck, fuck, no one. No one.

It was the 28th of December. And so, yeah, obviously everyone's off work. Yeah. And locked down. But the train was empty. But you can't sit next to anyone. They've got each of the the you can only sit on the inside seats you know window seats there's no aisle seats um and the trains were running a very

limited service anyway and so it's like kind of a very it's a very strange trip overall gosh yeah i think traveling and doing anything at this time so so weird. You know what? It is weird. It is very weird. But I'm also kind of impressed with the level of organization in managing all of this shit in a weird way. Like when we went for our COVID test, which you have to do yourself. I thought someone would do it, but they hand you a bag with all the bits in. It's like a little test yourself kit. And you know what? we had to go to this place it was on a university campus over near teddington lock anyone in the area will know it

and there's like a tent and the first thing i thought of is if this was a video game this would be the zombie sequence where you have to go into some big medical tent and there's all evidence of people desperately trying to save people and then turning into zombies right that was literally yeah there's like a whole load of bodies lined right piled up and a load of yellow bags with the toxic symbol that's what it looked like oh my god so you go in there and there's all these little booths that they've built and the instructions are printed on the wall and they hand you this plastic bag with all these things in and there's a lady there who stands and just directs you open your bag and you open the bag and she goes remove the little pointy thing and you take out this long piece of plastic with a piece of cotton at the end

you have to and then it says now you have to swab your tonsils now i don't know if you've ever tried to poke yourself at the very back of the throat. It's really fucking horrible. Believe me. When I was younger, I was more able to. Every day. Well, let me tell you something. I have a newfound respect for the ladies and gentlemen that manage that in any of those pornographic movies

because how they don't just vom instantly. Oh, my God. If I brush my tongue, I'm, like, gagging. So I don't know how like somebody gets like a big monster horse cock in there for realsies but this this is just a little piece of plastic so you have to jab the back of your tongue so they give you a little mirror and you're like like that and then you have to hoik that up your nose and it says poke it up there until you feel resistance and i'm thinking instantly i don't want to put this up my nose does that count as resistance but it doesn't you have to jab yourself at the back of

the nose it makes you really your eyes water you shouldn't be overdoing it i'm guessing but then again you do want to get a nice gna good solid song so then yeah once you did that then you snap it off and put it in this little test tube with this liquid in put it in this bag and then seal it up and then they get a tiny little rubbish bag for all the leftover bits. I was like, this is impressive. And then the very next day you get the result. And they were like, yeah, you got the Rona. I was like, fuck.

And then they call you up to see how you are. They're like, how are you? I was like, fucking awful. And then they call you again, like seven or eight days later. How are you? Like much better. They're like, good. And then it's all recorded.

And any problem? I was like, wow. It was impressive. I feel bad okay um just i would just like to preface by saying i feel bad because um i have like related stories to all of your big stories today um but like are you gonna try and one up them no no i really i want to hear i really don't want to don't feel bad this podcast is just about hearing what you guys have been doing. There's no thunder. We're just yapping.

It's been a busy two weeks. We're just yapping. It's been a busy two weeks. We've got lots to go through. Okay, listen. Just get started. Flax, my son had to have the same test because he was around somebody who tested positive for corona. Thank God he didn't test positive.

Good, good, good. None of us have gotten it. This is very good for us at this point in time for a reason i'll explain uh in a minute um secondly lewis i'm so sorry that your nan passed away uh i would also like to say that my grandma passed away two nights ago i know holy crap but it's it's it's not i i wasn't as close to my grandmother as you are to your nan. And as sad as it is and everything, she was like 95 years old and she lived a really good life. And she wasn't like very sick leading up to passing away or anything. She was like on palliative care for like a day.

But before that, she was like, she was totally with it. She was fine, everything. But she was just very old and she passed away. But I don't know what they're going to do for a funeral or anything because in canada the lockdown is different it's a lot more strict where my parents are and stuff like that so i don't know what's going to happen um i think there's a yeah i mean i actually went to another funeral this month but it was good lads i know well that's so that's my last uh grandparent all my grandparents are going sorry

dude it's what it's that that point in your life you get to, I guess, when the generation before the last one is pretty much gone, right? They're all gone, yeah. Same with my wife's side. No grandparents left. Yeah, I will say attending it in person, better. Yeah, you get closure, I guess, right? I think I felt a lot more, I don't know, I was a lot sadder than I thought I'd be. I went in thinking, oh, this is a celebration, this is part of life and stuff. But I got quite tearful, actually.

The worst thing for me, because all of Maddie's grandparents died. I met them all. She didn't meet any of mine. They'd all died before we met, unfortunately. But all my grandparents, for some reason, died an awful lot younger than hers. All of her grandparents, I met them all. They were all lovely. And we buried them all, which was, you know, it is horrible.

For me, even though I wasn't that close to them, there's something about seeing that box, it's even though i if it was someone i wasn't that close to there's something about seeing that box that very final moment when you see a box that has a person in it's horrible it's very emotional very emotional yeah um so i'm sorry to hear about that sips and what i guess what i'm saying is you know it may you may well have memories you know something might trigger your memory childhood memories i spent uh summers out there when I was a kid and stuff. From when you were living in Canada. Yeah, when I was in Canada. But I haven't, I mean, it's been a long time since I've seen her

because obviously she lives very far away. She lives like close to where my parents live, which is in the middle of nowhere on the west coast of Canada. So it's not like, it hasn't been, I'm sad, but like it's not devastating or anything. Like I think you were a lot closer to your your nan and your family in general so it's like it's probably hit you a lot harder and like I said I don't want to like steal your thunder or anything it's just uh it's not a related thing but I would

also like to say that um it just shows how beautiful life really is when you think about it. Because your nan has passed away. My grandmother's passed away. They were old. And it's like life just has this way, right? Because like some older people have passed away. And inside my wife's stomach right now is new life. Are you serious?

We're having a third are you serious i swear yeah we just had the scan today i couldn't go to it because of covid but uh but yeah it's uh it's uh oh my god we're having another baby i know i know you fool yeah that's it did you plan to have a third baby yeah planned yeah oh it's amazing dude so yeah so she's that's why is that why all this loft conversion and stuff is something you guys are cracking on with was this yeah well i mean it was it was kind of like part of the the plan right it was like well we want to have another one but you know if we can't have like you know we're like a little bit older we weren't sure like if it was possible or whatever but we were like, you know, okay, we're going to try anyway and see.

Detective P-Flax strikes again. Oh, mate, the loft conversion's a dead giveaway. Well, yeah, but we were just kind of like, if nothing happens on that front, then at least we have this converted loft that we can make into a games room or whatever. But now it looks like my son or daughter is going to have to move up there. Oh, that's amazing.

And then we're going to have another baby. Oh, I can't wait. That's very bizarre because sips my cousin is also pregnant as that's to happen that have been announced this week so it's a strange these new life we're like kind of in sync strangely i wonder if the power of the triforce triangle is a magical thing three sides in balance three sides forever joined in harmonious balance so so well my dad took me aside you see and said to me oh you know it's all triangles um son your cousin's all the way down and let me tell you it's not mine kind of weird i know but i just want to emphasize that not mine well he sort of said to me you know you got he started off by saying well you got good brain lewis and i was like where's this guy so he's lying right from the outset is what you said it would be it would be a

shame if you know you weren't to pass that you know good brain down to some possible future he's pitching the idea to you of having kids from a this is for the species kind of thing he's saying listen for the sake of humanity you must procreate that's he'd obviously he'd obviously considered how to bring it up with me because my brother obviously my brother hasn't had any kids in his um in And so I'm the surviving Brindley. I'm the future of the Brindley line. And so I looked at him and I said, well, I'm not sure that's how it works.

I don't think that that's necessarily something that's passed on in that sense. No, it is um it definitely is you'll notice well you'll notice your kids are very much like you and that the things that they are interested in are things that you're interested in and they're but but that there are also things that you are really interested in but they don't give a shit about they're their own people but there are definitely things that you think that's just like me that is really just like me the way they're interested in those

things and for you i think you are a smart guy i mean look what you know you've done a lot in my opinion you've done a fantastic amount even just talking about the jingle jam if you look at that 20 million dollars raised that in itself is an is an achievement that 99.9 percent of people in the world will never manage so i think you've done some really good things you should be proud of that say but i don't think that's enough of a reason for me to i think it is i'm with i'm with brindley senior on this one start cranking out i think there's a lot of needs more brindley's i don't think i never say that honestly like we're i mean because it's like a like a fresh topic because like we're you know expecting another child and stuff and like and and and having had two children and i'm sure flax

can agree with this uh there is there's really nothing uh in this world like holding your own child like it is it's beautiful like the connection is an incredible thing it's just an incredible thing and it's like if you can have kids you should i mean it's not like don't like don't get bogged down with all this oh it's irresponsible to have children in the world like every generation has had that like you hear people saying that in like the 60s and and everything but honestly like uh we we we have this ability to to do this like an incredible thing uh while we're here in the short very short time that we're here and uh i would say to you that if you can do it, you should do it. It's it is amazing. Like it's work, but it's the best work. Like the

best work. Yeah, it just it's like it there's there's nothing like it. You'll never you'll never have an experience like it. Like you could you could seek out experiences like your whole life, but actually creating your own person and holding them and then uh helping them grow into um like a you know a bigger person and stuff is the most incredible thing no that's i mean that it all sounds amazing you're selling it to me where can i sign up how do i create one well well first you need to get a lady yeah well this is the issue right your pp goes in her foof it's not really i'd say less than less than 60 percent of the work is mine right no you're still a vital component you are i mean obviously and this is this is obviously you know this is uh this is a men's rights podcast i'm i'd

the spark plug ladies do most of the work she's the she's the engine you're the spark plug. The lady's doing most of the work. She's the engine. You're the spark plug? Yeah. You're a bit more than that. Are you more like whatever the fuel injector thing is? I don't know how cars work. No, we don't know anything about cars. This is a manly podcast. This is a manly man's podcast.

We're the warbling flag. You're the injecting. You hard inject the turbo juice. That's right. You've got to get that your your man in the uh the faster faster and more furious movies you're the you're you know when they when they frown or they scowl and they look at the other guy and the person nods and then you push a button and you hear him the car goes that's your role yeah yeah, sure. And then you Tokyo Drift. She Tokyo Drifts a baby out.

Boom. Job done. Just in the middle of the road. You're always talking about how the human race needs to do better, right? Yeah. And we need to improve and stuff.

Your child, Brindley Jr., or anybody listening to this, your children will be the ones to do amazing things that maybe you haven't done. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they'll do a better jingle jam than you one day.

You can never predict that, though, and you can never plan for it. You've got to hope for it. They're an independent, any more than you can control. But you don't need to be set on that either, though. You just sort of take it as it comes. They come out, you think one thing and then you know you're you're slapped with the reality of the situation and your perspective changes and stuff and it's uh i mean it's it's spicy right it keeps you on your toes

i know i joke about all this stuff but i'm i'm in complete agreement with you too i think if it had fallen right for me and i'd been in the right place for it with the right person, I think it would be easy. Well, you're lucky. It's not only my decision and it's not only. That's true. And it's difficult. It's hard. I don't feel, I feel like a child still.

I feel like I'm completely immature. You know what, Lewis? We all feel like children until we have a child. Even when you have children, you still act like a child. You do still feel like a big kid yeah yeah but but now you're forced to be responsible and grow up and be considerate that's it and try to teach people honestly i know that people listening to this who haven't got kids or don't want kids or hate children will think i fucking hate it when people who have kids going

about them like they've chewed something fucking amazing oh you give me that fucking yeah but just remember all the people who feel like that somebody has felt like that about you at some exactly exactly unless you descended from the sky which uh you probably didn't or your parents hate you uh or your parents absolutely hate you but at some point i think um i think somebody felt like some joy to bring you into this world maybe even if it was just um you know, fleeting, fleeting. Well, the other thing about waiting longer is that,

you know, it's going to be harder for you to have grandchildren. Right. And so I saw, I looked at my dad and I said, you know, people in glass houses because he didn't have me until he was 45. Yeah.

And so, I mean, that's, that's, that's, I've got eight years till I hit the limit. Well, that's not even the limit for

men for males it's different for women there's there's definitely like a uh like a a time thing like a cutoff point but i mean if you are an older guy and uh you are with a younger woman you could you could still feasibly have children like oh my god well i mean look at the old look at trump he's got his bloody he's got like an eight-year-old he's like almost 80 years old exactly i mean jeff goldblum's just had a kid i think and he's about it's not imagine jeff goldblum being your dad it's all it'd be so weird it's doable like i mean if you were actually worried about that kind of stuff but i mean you're a young guy like you're a young buck in great shape. You're just a little young

whippersnapper. I'm not going to have children at 70. You're mad, but I'm never going to do that. Jeff Goldblum's 70? Think of how much

changes in one year. You're not even 48. You never know. Jeff Goldblum is 68? Yeah. Good God. His wife's my age. Good God,

he's 68. I suppose he has been around for fucking ever. Yeah, he has, to be fair. He's been around for fucking ever yeah he has to be fair he's been around a long time before we carry on the triforce podcast is sponsored by express vpn thank you very much to them you can get three months free if you visit expressvpn.com slash triforce we all connect to the internet via isps i don't personally trust those guys with my data they log all of your internet activity and often maybe they don't even have any control over what they do with it. You can

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Yeah, well, I guess you've had time to. right now thank you very much by the way been watching some movies over the uh yeah well i guess you've had time to lock down and the misery so yeah let's move on from funerals babies and four weddings four funerals and a childbirth announcement well because wait before we move on though this will be the first time that we've had a baby in the summer months. The baby's due in July. Okay. Both of my kids are October and December babies, so colder months. Yeah.

So we're looking forward to not having to wrestle with a newborn into like a snowsuit to keep them warm and stuff. Yeah. When leaving the hospital and other really annoying things about new and you've got ac so it won't even be bad in the house right in the garage i've got ac yeah oh i thought you had it but that's okay there's what if i clear all the junk out of here there's plenty of room for pacing and uh getting rid of the colic and yeah you know what as well maybe to sleep in the ac just uh maybe put the crib right next to Terry.

Terry can keep an eye on the back. Terry can, yeah, that's true. Actually, yeah, put Terry to work. He's just loafing around all the time, sleeping and fucking, you know, just eating up all of my dandelions. I can't believe you're looking forward to colic. I'm not.

There's plenty to not look forward to. Let's be clear, it is rough. The first year is very is very rough yeah but everyone everyone i know has had a third everyone i know has had a third the third baby is like a fucking breeze you know what you're doing yeah and the third baby is always just chill because there's one there's one thing that little kids love it's watching slightly older kids yeah it's like the most fascinating thing in the world for them and they love watching i mean my daughter grew up a lot quicker than my son because she had my son to to run around after and the baby she'll have or he uh will have um we don't know yet by the way

um it'll have uh my my my five-year-old daughter and my nine-year-old son to uh to run right after so we'll probably have be like fully in a business suit and ready for work uh within like six months so oh so here's a question is this the first time that you told anybody about it uh yeah well i mean like family have known about it for like a couple of weeks but you haven't like told your stream or anything like that no no i haven't told anybody i'm honestly i'm honest this is fresh news this is this morning like i'm honest we had the scan this morning so that's brilliant so that's why you said you said you might be late yeah well yeah

unfortunately with COVID and stuff I just couldn't go so my wife had to go on her own which is not great but it was all it was all good news and stuff so baby's everything's where it should be and the baby was um bopping around and stuff so so i've got a so to talk about detective stuff right obviously i really like watching all this detective murdery stuff i've watched anything to do with it i've watched it probably real life or or playing it on a game and me and lydia used to do a stream where we played murder yeah and anyway i was i was looking at because every year at the end of the year i look through for the top games of the 2020 and i try and play them all, right?

So to try and like give me a little bit of new injection of new stuff. And so I was playing, so I looked up the Polygon top 50 games, right, of 2020, which was the thing they put together like a couple of weeks ago, right? And fuck me, it's a complete garbage list i i think it's it's total trash well okay give me some examples well okay so obviously guess what number one is and it'll be fine no i don't think that's even on the list but all right uh hades is number one which is a great game yeah um really enjoyed that when i played it i don't know if it'd be number one animal crossing is number two and microsoft Simulator's number three. Yeah, sure.

I mean, that sounds all right. Feels fine. And then number four is Final Fantasy VII Remake. Sure, again, whatever. They put, like, then it starts going weird, right? It's got a lot of games on here from console only, like Spider-Man Miles Morales, which I haven't played. That's the PS5 release, right? I'm sure it's amazing. There's games on here from console only like spider-man miles morales which i haven't

played i'm sure i'm sure it's amazing there's like you know it's got the obviously things on there but on one of the ones on this list and i think it's pretty early on um is this game called murder by numbers right and i was like the fuck is this and so i looked at it because i had it on my steam library already and it's it's it's a picross game have you ever played picross no no it's like that so i had a puzzle book the other day because my nan used to do these kind of going back to my nan but she always used to get puzzler which is this magazine where you get free pen it's full of puzzles um and so i i had one over christmas because i thought it's quite nostalgic, you know. And I was enjoying going through it, doing all these stupid puzzles.

Anyway, I played this game and it's Picross. It's basically you get a grid and it's got numbers and the numbers tell you which blocks you're supposed to fill in. Anyway, it's like that. I've also done two jigsaw puzzles this Christmas. And so I've done two jigsaw puzzles. I've played this. I've done Puzzler and I'm fucking playing you're a gay man which you know i thought it was going to be a murder mystery i thought it was going to take me out of it i thought it was going to be something actually

good but no it was it's this weird pit cross thing with an anime story and i was like i was i was like what the fuck am i playing but then again i'm actually quite into it i like the i like i like it right but i will say the other game i played about murder which i i sort of can recommend ish is a game called a hand with many fingers right it wasn't on the top recommended list but someone sent me a link to it it's like three pounds it's like about two hours long and it's a game where you've got a crazy wall with all the pins and you've got a file room with loads of boxes and you have to go out you have to like look through a file of facts um find like a reference

to a file you want go down to the basement grab it bring it back up i'll go through it and stick the important bits on the wall and link them together on your crazy wall with pins and it's it was really fun so a hand with many fingers it's about the cia i liked it a lot it was like two hours long that's my little tip for this week game wise um and i haven't really done anything else other than christmas so man i'll tell you what you know what i did a lot over the christmas um period i played jenga which uh did you uh yeah that feels like something you could do for 10 minutes well yeah no but my son got Jenga in his stocking and loves it and so he's been like parading around the house saying he's the Jenga champion because nobody can beat him

and uh we've tried as well like I've really tried my wife has tried a couple of times as well my daughter's hopeless like she she takes one block the tower falls down she starts to cry um but yeah so we've just like our whole family has just played way too much jenga wow right and that's because you can't possibly beat yourself yeah and uh and it takes me back to my youth in the 80s when uh first i first heard about jenga i remember some friends having jenga or whatever but on tv at the time there was a commercial it was a rap commercial for jenga god that was a thing they used to do a lot of rap commercials and it went and it went a little bit like this you ready it went jenga jenga jenga and then it goes you take a block from the bottom and you put it on top you take a block from the middle and you put it on top you take a block from the

middle and you put it on top that's how you make a tower you just don't stop and you kill the building on a box on top i don't know all the lyrics but anyway okay you you get this though right you this jingle is like engraved in my mind from like 1986 apparently not the last verse but yeah and it's something that comes back to me every once in a while uh without any prompting so my son gets jenga for christmas and all of a sudden in my mind jenga i'm fucking singing this song so of course i had to go on youtube and find it and play it and uh now now my son it just plays it on the ipad constantly and and then we're playing jenga oh my god my life has just become some sort of weird hell so um that's no it's like the queen's gambit yeah he's now gonna become like the world jenga champion this is his path

you set him on do you see this is how this is the right age to start because this is the age that people like become piano prodigies or like starcraft 2 prodigies or whatever like their parents introduced something and this is the nine years old or whatever is the age that that they start because like getting obsessed with something they think they're really good oh my lord so this is the first step towards global jenga the global global dominance of the Sipsi and Jenga player. I think I'd rather him be impressively good at Tetris, because those guys get my respect. Jenga?

I don't know about that, but Jenga's cool. Son, you're not going to play Jenga. You're going to play Tetris. No, Dad! I'm telling you, it's Jenga for me! No. No son of mine has played Jenga full time. You take a block from the bottom and you put a fuck you.

Stop saying boys, stop! You can't control him now tetris is the kind of thing like mark zuckerberg would be good at do you mean or i think something like um i think like you tend to see like the more physical things like rubik's cube people being more dexterous or at least like at least like not being as nerdy do you mean like i feel like to be a tetris champion you literally have to have like the palest skin imaginable you can see your kidneys you know just naturally kind of thing you have to be evolved to like be a different life form yeah to be good at those games i think tetris it's i don't know i never could i never could it never clicked with me in

the same way that certain other things too didn't didn't click. You know, do you remember there was always a couple of kids at school who could solve the Rubik's Cube? Like, you could mess it up anyway, and they would just go, and solve it. That would always, always amaze me. But the weird thing is, I can, like everybody, I can solve one face of a Rubik's Cube happily, right? I can happily get one face done.

There's some sort of mechanism i looked it up i looked it up which is amazing those kids looking back they were either very very good at maths and figured it out because it is just a formula that you can do so for each bit that you need to solve for one thing there are certain sides that are like true sides so that when you solve it you've got you know, that is the correct side, because it should be this colour and that colour should be here, that's a good edge and everything like that, rather than you've sort of forced these two sides together, and they're not, that's not the actual solution, so you won't be able to solve the cube. So that's a big part of it, is that there

are certain colours that are meant to be next to each other in a certain sequence, and there are others that are not. So that's a big factor. And then how you solve it is a series of formulas. So if you have a piece here, and it needs to be moved up to this piece, you do this sequence, and that'll move it into position. You just repeat these formula over and over again. Because of course, if you have a face that's solved and the face adjacent to it that also needs to be solved, which is of course the case, you can't solve that other face if that means messing up the solved one. So all of these formula involve rotating a piece and then putting all the other bits back into the same position so that you don't foul up the entire thing.

And you just repeat that and eventually you get to the point. But if you look it up, for every single possible possible i need to move this tile to here there's a formula for it that's like rotate this one clockwise turn at this point to that way click clack clack and you're done so if you can memorize that formula you can solve the rubik's cube very quickly so when you see those guys who go and then slap it on that little mat that perfectly times when they sort of have done it oh man it's it's just that they've memorized the formula it's not like they're solving a crossword being trained to do something and casually learning it i think that if you casually picked up a rubik's cube and you started playing with it and you started trying to figure

it out i think you would start to realize these formula you know the pins on the crazy ball would come together and you'd be like oh okay now that's how i get this thing right to here and that's a useful thing to know right and i think that i i think that a lot of that stuff has been understood and you can teach it to someone yeah and they will get a real step forward in advance i think it's the same to some extent with chess i mean i i i mean i'm quite interested in chess but i feel like you still do see young chess people come along yeah i mean magnus carson i guess recently example good example of someone who's relatively new to the chess world um even now even though he's like probably like getting on for our age but he's um

he's like someone who you know almost like you know you you thought back in the day with these these russian masters and stuff you know this is back when people were very smart people would go go into the moon and working out very complicated maths and you know building nuclear power plants you know it's not like it's not like we we didn't have knowledge of like a very advanced level of mathematics and stuff and but but apparently you know you can still get kids today who are coming through and being able to be taught and trained these very high level stuff that people just didn't know back then about chess you know it's not and so i think like in a sense like what i'm trying to say is that we're able to teach kids nowadays it's not that

we're teaching them more it's that we're teaching them better yeah because we have more knowledge of of the game so i i've been playing chess um on chess.com for about the last year or so um what's your rating i think it's about a thousand oh that's pretty good that's interesting because i think dathos wants to organize like a little chess tournament rating has to be like zero fuck i suck so bad at chess god i suck so bad oh my god i had to i had to remove teeth from my mouth to get more dicks into my mouth i suck that bad at chess wow just bear in mind though that honestly just like i'm talking about the rubik's cube and the the puzzle element to it once you learn like if you there's a guy called a gadmator who does uh chess videos on youtube you know he's

the guy you will have seen him he's like very russian hugely successful yeah so it's very simple e5 captures captures yeah we talked about it before so if you watch his videos the opening 20 moves are like we've seen this before he says that all the time obviously we've seen this before because these are very standard openings and as with any chess game the the earlier moves are much more repeatable and predictable and the same and you can look at many many many games that have this style of opening and this style of response to that opening and they play out very similarly and it's not until like move 15 or 20 that suddenly you've got a new game which means we haven't seen this before like this is a sequence and this is a combination of pieces in play that we have not seen before. And

we can look at the records of games and say, nope, that's not one that has come up. Or if it has, it's rare to have these pieces in this sequence and all the rest of it. Because mathematically, there are so many possible chess games. It's insane. It's actually insane how many possibilities of game there are. So what makes chess interesting is when you get to the point where you're like, yep, I am familiar with all this so far. Someone does a move that you possibly haven't seen before. And at that point, the chess actually begins. So the main thing to learn early on is these openings, what are the standard opening moves? And you're basically, what my friend Ashwin said to me, you're waiting for your opponent to make a mistake

and for you to spot that mistake and exploit it. And at that point, the game starts to tip in your favor. And then it's about you making less mistakes than them. That's person versus person chess. It's not about some brilliant queen's gambit play. It's basically, can you make fewer mistakes? Because most people are going to make a mistake at some point which is why playing against the computer which is all i do i hate playing against people playing against computer the computer will make the same

moves over and over again so you can predict the moves it's going to make and it doesn't make mistakes but then i mean if you just practice against the computer in like a safe place you just get better though right like you i don't think you do i don't think you'd be able to process moves faster i mean that it helps and you definitely start to see patterns like you know what a fork is in chess yeah so you know when when you can like it's mainly with a knight where you move a knight into a position where you're threatening two pieces and he has to choose and you're going to get one of those pieces regardless because he has to choose between two he can't save them both he can't capture your knight so if you get the best

fork is when you get like his queen and his king yeah so he has to move the king and you get the queen with the knight that's like a fork so looking for those is a pattern looking for revealed um sort of uh attacks so you move a piece to threaten one piece and it's revealed behind that is another piece that threatens a different piece.

Those are the things, the patterns you start to recognize and you see them coming. So that's good. But the computer isn't great to play against

compared to people. The human brain is amazing at what it can watch out for and see and remember and realize and also kind of see at

a glance maybe even like stuff like a lot apparently a lot of magnus carlson's play is very intuitive and it's very much like he plays fast it's weird to say that right but he it's it's intuition from experience so it's like something that he it's like that the gut feeling of a detective i never really put like a lot of stock in it before i was always like gut feeling of a detective. I never really put a lot of stock in it before. I was always like, gut feeling. Surely you should just go with your brain. But actually, they've experienced these things so many times, or been in such similar situations, or they've met someone and

something was off, and they just know that there's something going on here. And sometimes they're wrong, and sometimes it was the wrong decision. It's called playing a hunch, Chief. Listen to me, McGarnacle. Your hunches cost the city millions of dollars last week when you destroyed a downtown city center. Listen to me, chief.

I get results. And my gut's telling me the Mendoza did it. I love the bit when, I can't remember like the full line, but when he's like, we found Timmy dead in a ditch. I'm trying to eat my lunch. remember like the full line but when he's like uh we found timmy dead in a ditch and then homer's like because he gets results you stupid chief oh my god we are of an age where that era of the simpsons is all that's imprinted on a good percentage of my brain. Everything that happens, I run it through that filter. Some of the lines from like peak Simpsons, that was. Which was the first 10 years.

Yeah, first 10 years of The Simpsons were definitely. And here's the thing. I was looking at, because they've done all these fucking you know the best shows ever yeah crap they do that over this period and because i was ill i was watching a couple of those the number of shows that ran for 10 years or or just around 10 years friends ran for 10 years fraser ran for 10 years seinfeld ran for 10 years these were shows that they did 10 years yeah and that was like you think of them they seem to be there for ages and they stopped and they did all these episodes. But they stopped because 10 fucking years is enough. The Simpsons is now, what, 30 years or something stupid like that?

For the love of God, stop. Stop. You should have stopped at 10. Same voice actors for the most part. All the characters are just like in this time vacuum. Just stop. Well, that's the thing. They are in this time vacuum. So bizarrely, I that's the thing they are in this time vacuum so

so that bizarrely i read this thing about how the simpsons is now aspirational right that that it's a it's a man being able to support a whole family and have a house in a nice place despite his job he's never been fired unless he and then well actually home has been fired a bunch of times and always gets rehired but he has a union job remember he has a good union he's been fired a bunch of times yeah i don't know like i read this whole article about how the obviously the new new series has started this year and it's and it's it's something which is so detached from reality because it used to be this thing where you know in the post reagan, there was this kind of feeling that the middle class was being squeezed and that, you know, Homer had to take a second job

as a mall Santa or a prowl man or whatever, right? Post-Reagan and actual Reagan years as well. Middle class got fucked over. By now, you know, it's completely different, you know, for someone trying to, you support a family yeah homer's actually got it made which is in the frank grimes episode where he goes around there and he assesses like homer's life he sleeps at work everybody just kind of lets him float by yeah he has this huge house yeah and frank grimes works his balls off and get all these qualifications and has a terrible

time of it i for me i I thought that represented the writer's awareness about the fact that why the fuck is Homer being seen as a punchline here? He's actually got it made compared to so many other people. But then they just ignored that. And now it's just like, the Simpsons are going to Brazil and all that kind of shit. I just think you should have stopped. That's what the shows become, right?

It's always like... It's awful. Which celebrity can we shoehorn in this week? But it's always like... I mean can we shoehorn in this week but it's always like i i mean maybe i'm maybe i'm getting this wrong but i i kind of dislike the whole like um american view on the world like through their like culture and media sort of thing and the simpsons is is a it does that um sort of well in a bad way right like the simpsons go to japan and it's like wow japan is so weird it's not like america and like and that's the whole joke and it's just like okay that's not actually funny at

all it's just kind of dumb okay it's i don't know if you guys feel the same way but like the simpsons has always sort of rubbed me the wrong way in that sense you know what i mean like it's just i mean any any show, any American show, they always have, like you said, we're going to X country. Yeah. And whenever they do, it's death. They just roll out like a gigantic moving van filled with stereotypes,

like very common stereotypes. And it's just... It's a very easy, fun one to do, though. It's not fun. To go to Canada, to go to England. They went to England England didn't they it's lazy yeah and the queen

is fucking in a red phone box and everybody's teeth are all like weird and stuff and it's just like it's all the stereotypes right

and it's like alright it writes itself though right I think when you're writing a series of the Simpsons every year

and you've got 25 episodes to do and you're like fuck it what shall we do exactly send it to England exactly send it to Japan Simpsons every year and you've got 25 episodes to do and you're like fuck it what shall we do exactly send it to England exactly

send it to Japan he loses his job yeah he gets a new job as this Christmas one you know what I mean like they smash them out and have to do it

they should have stopped 20 years ago yeah they should have done yeah but then again other things have risen in

its place you know I mean Family Guy was the original one that sort of took over and other people trod on their toes done yeah but but then again other things have risen in in its place you know i mean family guy was the original one that sort of took over it was and other people trod on their toes didn't they really in terms of trying to represent something more realistic um or not not realistic in a sense or more more time appropriate for like what people are experiencing in the here and now what i um what i guys i just want to say today has been great what a roller coaster good news bad news i know ranting we got a couple of dick jokes in there as well i mean actually to close out 2020 this has been a like a buffet of triforce hasn't it we've had a little

bit of everything yeah we've talked about stuff we spoke about before yeah we've had some personal news yeah some like you said good bad we talked about video games a bit just good podcasting just good old-fashioned triforce just good old-fashioned podcast listen time changes time passes the world is a confusing and scary place we don't know what's coming in the future and the universe presents we are here unchanging and unmodified that's right the original hey guess what guess what uh crack pipe i smoked last night um tarkov right back oh my god dude i did as well the other day what a miserable experience oh man what a game though fuck me i think tarkov should get game of the year 2020 2019 2018 2017 it's so fucking good like it made me so sad to play it again oh i played it

again and everything that happened i died over just that thrill after a reset of putting like a key in your ass pouch or like a paracord or something like oh man it's just so good that i didn't i didn't achieve a thing i i every i was i i spawned in and as usual i shot at a couple of people and then instantly died yeah i felt instantly outgunned i felt that every single person i played against was much much much better than me yeah so i just stopped that it's like chess though you don't exactly i was just not in the mood no i went back to dotes i played so much dotes over the last oh nice that's good's ridiculous new patch and everything came out

and uh well make the most of your holidays guys yes um and have a have a lovely new year

happy new year we'll talk next week about see you guys next year yeah I'll play some more weird games

yeah well yeah all right cheers cheers happy new year happy new year to you all

happy new year to you all happy new year to everyone we'll see you on the other side love you lots bye bye bye