Triforce! - Triforce! #159: Hardcore Office Role Playing

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

Triforce! Episode 159! We're roleplaying classic office small talk, figuring out time travel in movies and quoting classic films! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. Hello, everybody. Welcome. Welcome back. Hello. Hello everybody and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. The first one of 2021. Technically. It's been a funny week. Yeah. Well, it was funny yesterday. Have you seen the news?

I feel like the world has gone a bit weird again well just america um i mean you know what a summary it's very easy to sort of think that yeah the world has gone crazy but no it's just the same country that has been going crazy and in decline for some time now going crazy again not really that much of a surprise when you think about it um by it By a week's time The next crazy thing is going to have taken over The news cycle I warned you people

I said 2021 is going to fucking suck You've been warned Are you doing an I told you so already He's already done it It's the first I told you so of 2021 welcome and the warning was i went unheeded he warned you he was yelling at those clouds and you guys didn't pay any attention yeah i was idiots idiots so i was thinking since there's obviously a lot of things

are big things to talk about i wanted to talk about small talk because i was thinking today let's start with the small stuff so i want us to try and do i realize this podcast is essentially just small talk but i want us to do a few minutes of 100 guaranteed small talk so here's the setting right okay all right the three of us are colleagues we work for a an office a large bank of a small local insurance firm right okay i'm liking where this is going in a in a small town okay and we work in a small crappy office it was built in the 80s it's one of those brick buildings that looks wank and has pretensions of grandeur but is actually just a shitty just a boring ass block like in slough a classic slough say, in fact, that we do work in Slough.

Okay. We all commute, but not far, just from some small village near Slough. Like, that's the best you could describe it. Where do you live? Oh, Twattington. Where is it? It's near Slough. Near Slough, yeah.

Like, that's as good as it gets. Yeah, right. So, that's us. Twattington. We've all been working there for about 12 or 13 years. None of us really knows each other that well. It's just not that kind of office, you know. But we're all standing around the water cooler area.

So Lewis and I are already there. Sips, you come in and you're going to start the small talk. Lewis and I were in mid-small talk conversation when you turned up. So let us talk for like 5, 10 seconds and then you turn up, okay up okay yeah let's see if we can do it I just want to okay okay getting character right oh stretch it out okay ready stretch it out roll your head a little bit just a tiny bit let's relax and get in character all right Lewis I'll start are you ready yeah yeah so uh it turned out it was the um carburett, which is quite annoying. I had to get a new one fitted. How's your car doing?

It's okay. I'll be thinking about giving it a spray. Oh, you want to change the color? Oh, hey, guys. Oh, hey, sir. Hey, hey, it's me. It's Ken. I just overheard you guys talking about Debbie in finance.

I'd give her a spray if you know what I'm talking about. That's inappropriate. That's inappropriate for this office. And as your line manager, I'm just fucking kidding, dude. I'd fucking spray all over. Remember, this is small talk. Do you guys like vaccines? How was your commute in today, buddy? Oh, man. I know, I woke up. I had two pieces of toast like I normally do.

I put some butter and some strawberry jam on it. And I was just sitting there eating it. And then I realized, oh, I'm running a bit late here. I got to get going. So I picked up my briefcase, filled it up with jelly beans and put my propeller cap on and ran out the door as fast as I could to catch my train. Of course, I missed it. So I played some Candy Crush while I waited for the next train.

And I had to sneak into the building. Which one did you get? Did you get the 854 or the 8? So that old man Nelson wouldn't see me coming in late. He saw me. And now I've got another written warning. One more and i'm out of here oh man yeah you're so close to escaping this hell yeah i think i saw you on the i think i saw you on the drive-in actually um p flex because i was i was just a few cars behind you oh did you come in the the a17 as well yeah there was um did you come in the A17 as well? Yeah, there was...

Did you see... You know, we're past the speed camera. Yeah, yeah. Which my wife's sister's brother got caught by. Oh, yeah. About three months ago. Oh, yeah. Did you guys see the new Give Way sign

on the roundabout there? Yeah. They must have just put it up on the weekend. Yeah, I think they must have put it up at the weekend. It's time and a half, isn't it, at the weekend? I didn't see that. Yeah. Well, you can go have a look at it on the way weekend. Okay, it's time and a half, isn't it? I didn't see that. Yeah. Well, you can go have a look at it on the way back.

Is that by the, which roundabout is that on? It's near the Esso, opposite the Esso garage. Yeah, right across from the Esso, yeah. Yeah, you'll see it there, big giveaway sign. I mean, yeah. Anyway. That's weird. Anyway, small talk over, right?

Right, yeah. No, I mean, that's about the- No, I want to carry on. That's about the extent of it, isn't it? That is exactly what it's like. So what I want to know is, right? Just these meandering sort of conversations that lead into nothing and are just so boring and, oh, my God.

I want to carry on so much. People do it all the time. Why do they put themselves through it? Well, because it's very awkward otherwise, right? But here's my question. My kids don't do small talk, right? Kids do not do small talk. You may think they do. When you hear their little wittery conversations, it's all just about nothing. But to them, these are big deals,

you know, their toys and what they're watching on TV. It's not the same at all. What age and what is the point where small talk becomes a thing? Because it can't just be when you get a job. It is pretty much. That's part of like the sort of initial young adult social conditioning into like older adults, right? I think the job is something you have to do to live. And so you feel like you have to put on this face and have this polite as soon as you have to be polite to people i think it's the same thing with parents waiting outside the school you know you might hate everyone else but you've got to be polite to them and and therefore you've got to

try and find something that's neutral to talk about you know that doesn't you can't really say oh you know and the thing is when when it comes to parenting you can always talk about the school and your kids. You guys at least have a common ground and common interest. And gossip is also a thing. Did you hear about so-and-so? That's not small talk, really. That's gossip.

I think the school gate conversations are actually pretty deece. The thing for me is, a neighbor you don't really know, that's a big one. Work colleagues. Or family members at a function who you're not particularly familiar with yeah uh and people at a wedding say like i think once you start going to functions as a essentially an adult someone's standing there with a drink because that's the key you've got to have a drink cup of tea glass of water beer glass of wine you're standing there that's an invitation to some kind of social

chat like that's the point where you'll say oh it's uh cousin uh cousin tony how are you tony yeah not bad you yeah not bad how'd you get to the wedding today oh i drove him with my mom and dad oh yeah yeah oh yeah what about you oh yeah i drove myself i've got a ford focus out there it's the uh the blue one the blue one just able to find a parking space you know so i came down from birmingham so we went down the um oh my god it's like a bad youtuber just commenting what they've what they're doing yeah that's small talk that's small you talk about things things you can see or things i think like did you see the news yesterday no oh yeah yeah okay no yeah me neither god i never watch it that's it no but you're not having to like improv your way around

that really you know i i think you can you could just say oh okay like the other thing is like i think as soon as you start going to functions that are more social events, you can start talking with strangers in a more interesting way. Like in the pub, small talk isn't the same. You don't have to be polite once you've had a few drinks with someone. Well, that's why the company do is always, whenever I work anywhere, when the company goes out, that's always the most fun. Because if you're with a half decent company,

but I find that any company, once people get a few drinks in them, the jokes come out, everyone relaxes. And it veers from small talk to drunk talk, which is far preferable. Well, it's gossip as well. Loads of gossip. Yeah. A lot more gossip. Yeah.

People go insane at work dues like yeah i've never seen anything like it like everywhere i've worked when there's like a work party or something you think you know somebody briefly just from interacting with them on a daily basis at work or whatever but it's like jekyll and hyde like people a couple of points in there it's just like who are you you're insane and then from then on in the office you're you kind of you it's changed the ability to have the small talk forever right because you kind of feel like you've you know suddenly intimate things about this person or at least if not intimate at least more than you needed to know um too too much information about yeah but but i think in a way

that that like the reason that the office things go so nuts is because that gives you something to talk about for a good few months after the office party and then you can start to rib people because remember in most workplaces you don't really know like sip says you don't really know the the people some of them you do like i i know mrs f has some colleagues she's very tight with i've i've got some friends i've made over the years at various places i've worked that i'm still close with and friends with yeah um and those people are different like then you might become friends with them outside work and you actually become proper mates but the the party and the gossip and the things that happen there give you

something to talk to other people about and to tease about hey look at this it's kevin you want another pipe kevin hey so finally the small talk has a focus and it's making fun of that time kevin tried to get up on the table to dance to beyonce and fell off which everyone thought was hilarious i remember kevin fell off the table ah so the small talk has sort of been buffed by the by the office party i think i like i like that but i also feel like these days you have to be careful because there's a lot less tolerance for bullying yeah in in the workplace and i think it's it's a very fine line it between i i mean i've always felt recently that there's almost no line you could you can't do it you can't rib someone right unless unless you know them well um enough and i think that even then i think you gotta be

kind of careful right like people can turn on you without any notice whatsoever, you know? Well, also you don't know what people are really feeling inside. You know, you don't know how much people are upset by this. You know, when you were at school, it was the same. You know, there would be some quiet kid who would, you know, get called a name or whatever. And then one day he'd, you know. Go on to form a YouTube network with a bunch of people and um play minecraft and yeah finally get revenge finally get his revenge yeah it's a good story yeah

really good but i don't know i i think sorry to go all serious but i think it's like that those days of oh you know those those company ribbings i don't know if they exist now i don't i don't know how many companies exist with all those weird characters like in the office oh they do they're there they're out there for sure think of all the companies and all the countries and all the all across the world there's definitely places and companies that are that are about 20 years behind everywhere else or more you know what i mean like they they for sure exist you they might not be like you know sort of like at the cutting edge forefront of like wherever you live if you live in a big city or whatever but they're definitely still out there those often that that is portrayed

as a very family positive thing right yeah you know it's it's it's um it's a nice thing often to have these sort of people who are trapped in this the same similar mundane you know office lives um and they they have a friendship and they do know each other intimately very quickly you know as much as small talk is is this thing where it certainly can be very bland between strangers and very incredibly shielding as well incredibly like you know you you could have a little english people are the masters of polite small talk with people that doesn't betray any aspect of their personality whatsoever you know you can have the most it's almost like a server in america giving you their fake nice persona you know because that's

what they they that's they they make money yeah and you know as you could see straight through it in the same way that a british person giving small talk also knows that the person they're dealing with is also you know playing this weird game it is it is a politeness thing it's um an elegance or a dignified dignified sort of part of of culture sorry i'll be watching the crown again and the queen the queen's like this is one of her speeches at the moment well it's one of these things isn't it where sort of she her education was very much about how to behave as the queen and the role of the crown and all of these other things and not really anything else

there's this whole episode that sort of focuses on how she's actually very smart when it comes to constitutional matters and things that we wouldn't even understand yeah but doesn't know anything about anything other than horses and dogs and and strange arcane rules i mean you know from what i've learned from say game of thrones staying on the throne for that long, she must have had a lot of people wiped out. I'm talking whole towns. She's played the game. She's played the Game of Thrones. She's been on there for fucking ever.

And she didn't even need dragons. No. No, I know. Just, you know, part of the reason for that, Lewis, is, of course, St. George killed all the dragons. of course George Saint George killed all the dragons well she apparently she only needed a couple of uh infusions of uh children's blood and some lizards I believe she is one of the lizards that's the claim she should sit on a rock a few times a month to regenerate do you guys think that she is a real lizard no right no I think she's just a person we I think we live in a world where people do believe that, though.

That's the thing. Oh, yeah. David Icke and all his lot. I mean, these are people that believe they're going to get injected with microchips. Now, my question is this. First of all, what's that microchip meant to do? What do they think it's going to do? That it's going to somehow interface with their brain and control them?

Or do they think it's so that they can be tagged? And it's like, if they go through a metal detector, they'll know it's them. Why not inject a few microchips into people? I'm just saying, let's do it. If they think we're going to do it anyway. So what, you're thinking, let's fuel this fire by actually putting tiny microchips in people.

Yeah, and they don't have to do anything. They could just freak people out a bit. Right, that would really help. Just putting them in there just for shits and giggles so that when they check they're like look there is a microchip in the vaccine you're just like yeah we just wanted to fuck with you that's your idea yes oh yes it does well no we could tell them it does something like it's helpful it's like you can say you mustn't touch it or you'll activate well they can't. It's microscopic. Protocol gamma.

No, we can tell them it does something good. Like it blocks 5G or something. Yeah, that would be useful for a lot of people. I think a lot of people want to block 5G waves out of their brains and stuff. I think that injecting microchips in people is a bad idea. Yeah, I don't know if they should really do that. What do you think about people who are scared of taking or apprehensive about taking the COVID vaccines that are available now that they've started rolling out?

I saw a thread the other day. We trick them. Like, these people are children, so we give them a lollipop and we tell them it's for something else. We tell them they've got cooties, and their dick's going to fall off. And they'll be in there like a fucking rocket ship. So this woman's saying that she found out that the chemical dihydrogen monoxide was present in vaccines, and that every child who's ever had autism has ingested this dihydrogen monoxide chemical.

So she won't be taking the vaccine. Dihydrogen monoxide, of course, being H2O or water for anyone out there. Well, it's the chemical that's killed the most people. It is a genuine deadly chemical. So she's right. You know, to put it like in simpler simpler terms like with like all like sort of most science aside and stuff i would say like if you think of all of the things that people have ever injected into their bodies um in the past um a lot of those things you would think would

be worse than you know this this vaccine which probably won't the worst the worst that injecting a vaccine into you can do is that it won't immunize you properly right like it's not like it's going to like make your arm fall off or like have some weird side effect the oxford vaccine reacts well the side effects is it reacts with botox oh really right apparently it can cause facial fillers to like swell up. Oh right. What, permanently or just? I don't know whether that's true or not, but I read it somewhere.

I just thought it was funny. That's something that could happen. So yeah, I guess that's something to watch out for if you're one of those trout pout people. If you have a big trout pout, you might want to avoid the... That's not Botox, is it? I thought that was silicon, the lip implants implants i thought botox was the forehead well that's something people like fucking hell like apparently like we're basically 33 percent fucking plastic and

heavy metal pollution from all of the fucking shit we eat it's full of plastic it's all like permanent isn't it like everybody has like the these teflon chemicals in them and these other chemicals in them everyone's got full of stuff and apparently it's not even going to go away like because we're going to pass it on to our kids you know our kids are going to come pre-loaded with fucking and spotify and shit do you mean they fucking spotify pre-loaded in their google goggles yeah well the microchips that they're injecting with COVID have got... Lucky! Fucking lucky. They've got Bing on them as well, it's not Google. So when you want to look up something in your brain, you'll have to Bing it now. Bing! No, you've got to say it. Bing!

Well, it's because Microsoft are making the chips, right, that go into the vaccines. Did you read that thread about Steve Ballmer? This was an ex-Microsoft employee. And you couldn't just call it Bing, you had to say, what like that he was he was at this meet or Steve Ballmer would yell at you right like yeah he and he would just walk around the corridor going I mean I think Steve Ballmer's default state is yelling is it not like yeah exactly every time I've seen Steve Ballmer he's like red-faced and screaming I mean in a way that's one way to rise up the ranks of a company nobody's going to ignore you. Everybody's going to know.

And if you're always yelling and furious, they're going to like, Steve Barton. This guy means business. Worked for the fucking president, didn't it? Jesus. Like, I mean, and also Hitler. Like, do you know what I mean? People were under his spell and all he did was just yell, basically. I honestly think people love a big shouty red face person who feels like they are very

sure of themselves. It just shows passion, right? People like someone who's sure of themselves. It just shows how people are so vulnerable to propaganda even today. You know, like people just believe the maddest things, don't they? Well, then again, when it's coming from the leader of the free world. Man, I should have worn my sunglasses to the podcast today because Lewis got his tinfoil hat on and the reflection of the sun world man i should have worn my sunglasses to the podcast today because lewis got his tinfoil hat on and the reflection of the sun off of that thing is blind

oh my god sorry so i watched so today this week i did a weird thing right um i watched a movie that otherwise i would have seen at the cinema right at home right for like the first time i'm sure you guys have done this right it was tenant yeah and i it was actually kind of nice it was a weird cleverly transitional movie because i think if i'd watched it in the movie in the cinema i would have been a bit frustrated but because i wasn't watching in the cinema i could like pause it i could rewind i had like subtitles on you know i mean and actually i think i enjoyed it a lot more sat on my ass being able to you know have a pee and not miss like a crucial plot point right i don't know like what did you think of it overall tenet or chris nolan um yeah yeah it's his yeah so i saw it in the cinema last year

when oh did you? When the lockdown had relaxed enough. Oh, I didn't realise it had been in the cinema. I'm just an idiot. Sorry. No, no, no. So when it came out, it was like the first big movie that came out after all the COVID stuff. So it was like the big test case of can we do this again? Because all these big studios, like the june movie has been pushed back

to like october of this year because they want it to be a cinema release they want it to get money yeah yeah or whatever the hbo movie service is the hbo streaming service all the movie studios are saying i could be wrong this is what i read all right listeners i mean don't fucking don't at me i'm just saying what i what i I heard. They want to dual release stuff now in the cinema and on streaming platforms. Now, that's never been done before, really, to have a major movie not get a cinema release first and then transition later into streaming and DVD or whatever people want to watch it on these days. So that's a big thing. And there's a big battle between the Dune producers and the owners, if you like, of the film studios to say, no, we just want to get it out there on streaming services and all the rest of it. I mean, I know you have to pay to rent Tenet. You don't get it.

It's on Prime, I think. And Mrs. F was like, yeah, I paid like five pounds, six pounds or something. I mean, in a way, I think it's actually not a bad move. But I think the problem is, like, I saw Tenet in the cinema. And because it's a Nolan movie, I actually wouldn't recommend seeing it in the cinema because he can't do sound mixing properly. Or it's some, apparently there's some weird thing where he wants it to be hard to hear. I had to do a lot of my own, I feel like I had to do a lot of my own sound mixing

by turning the volume up and down. Yes. But that's the same with any Chris Nolan movie. Right, but that's what I'm saying. It's too consistent, and he's too skilled a filmmaker for it to be accidental. It's obviously deliberate, and one of the things I read was that he wants the dialogue

to almost be lost in the background sound so that you have to lean in and really pay attention. I'm thinking, Chris, I've paid through the arse to watch this film because it's very expensive to go to the cinema. Believe me, buddy, I'm already paying pay attention. I'm thinking, Chris, I've paid through the ass to watch this film because it's very expensive to go to the cinema. Believe me, buddy, I'm already paying fucking attention. I do not need you to trick me into leaning in and to then have all the other background sounds

be so cocking loud that Batman says, and turns away. And Alfred's like, what was that, Master Wade? That sounded important and he turns back Master Wade

I think you said to get the Batmobile and then there's a huge explosion with his fucking deafening ass music in the background yeah

it's like can we just just have Batman say to Alfred Alfred get the Batmobile and Alfred says I'll get the Batmobile for you right away, Buster Wayne. Like, that would be a much better movie. I don't need it to be, what did Alfred say?

What did Batman say? Because it's not making me happier, Chris. Batman should wear, like, one of those sort of scrolling text things on his chest or something, like digital, that gives him automatic subtitles. Or maybe just like a word to sort of sum up what he is mumbling about. A speech bubble! A little digital speech bubble pops up like it's a comic book. Oh my god, back to the comic book! Yeah, exactly. Just have that pop up, and then you can go...

Why don't they have that in movies? Like, as a subtitles thing? Has anyone tried it? I know that in Johnick the subtitles were sort of graphically fancy on the screen weren't they oh sometimes sometimes they do it for yeah when they when they have foreign languages yeah they'll have the cartoony style subtitle i think it's just a big free-for-all now because most people while they're watching a movie probably have like a wiki open on their phone that they're reading about the movie and stuff you know what i mean like they're there just to say that they've experienced it but like they're not paying any attention because they're just reading like the cliff notes and furry anus 6969x says sexting this movie this

movie didn't have enough fucking no furry representation in yeah no yeah yeah exactly so like i think that people are constantly bitching about it. I thought it was like an okay movie. I heard a lot of bad things about it. People were saying it was pretty trash. It's not bad. It's just not great. I thought it was actually very enjoyable

as soon as I... I didn't have my Tim Fole hat on, though. I wasn't like, well, the time travel in this movie even consisted because if you actually had a time travel machine you wouldn't be able to what if you mean me and people are constantly like oh there's like a bunch of i don't know there's a bunch of timey-wimey wanky bullshit but you're gonna get that with every time yeah yeah i think yeah i think when it comes to stuff like time travel or whatever time travel you just gotta roll with it

right you just gotta chill out and just accept it for what it is of time travel is that like maybe invest your emotions into something worthwhile rather than a movie you know well it's so stupid time travel because it... Even the dumbest person can say, well, what if you just went back in time to before that happened? It stopped you, right? Or why doesn't it just go back in time? But remember, the way the time travel works in Tenet is that you don't travel to a point.

You go through the thing, which they never understand. I'm going to call it the thing. And then you're moving backwards through time. Rather than going, I'm going to go to point A, you just travel backwards. So you actually have to do the walking backwards. Like that's the point of Tenet really, is that as far as I could understand, you don't just travel to a point, you go through the machine thing and then you are literally traveling in time as in walking backwards so when you get in the car no no no it's not backwards and all that shit yeah that's kind of it but but you are yes you get what's called inverted right

right so you start traveling time time now passes the other way for you but therefore breathing is very is impossible and like all kinds of other things like uh they're like now be aware it's all going to be kind of fucked up and and if you shoot a bullet it sucks the bullet out of the wall through you somehow um yeah it's kind of nuts uh and also they were like oh an inverted bullet hurts even more and i was like that's like when they tell you that you know banging your hand on a cold day hurts even worse you know what i mean it's like well yes what why would it why would it be exactly it's full of those moments right where you're like so why does it yeah why does it surely a reverse bullet would be pulling it out of right you'd be better off right because and so uh yeah it's out of people but no because the bullet isn't in them you're

you're somehow sucking a bullet out of a wall it's it's weird there's all kinds of oddities like that that don't really add up yeah it's it's full of that sort of stuff and you're constantly full of questions but also in a sense when you're dealing with time travel it's hard to make it um mean something yeah because there's always that feeling like the twist you could never see coming because it's some time traveling wanky bullshit it's not like some cleverly thought out thing it's like well actually if you if it turns out if you turn the lights off the light then goes out of their eyes and then they can't see and it's like what like generally there's some dumb yeah some dumb stuff right so films that have done time travel well the terminator the terminator movie interstellar was pretty good

i like that time traveling i i very much enjoyed the time stuff in interstellar because he's just communicating across time rather than actually i thought back to the future is kind of classic like simple but good didn't they yeah he goes back in time yeah and it demonstrates how he fucks up the timeline and has to fix it i thought it was pretty cool yeah and he gets to fill a car with garbage for fuel i thought that was awesome too i love that yeah yeah yeah where we're going you won't need explanations of time travel exactly Exactly. That's what he should have said. I thought it was fine. I thought it was actually... It's going to be real straightforward, Marty. Trust me.

Here's one question, though. When he comes back to the future, to present day, before he gets in the car with Doc and zooms off to the terrible sequel, Back to the Future 2, in the first one, he comes home and his parents are completely different people. Oh, Back to the Future 2 I kind of liked as well. I didn't mind it. Have you watched it recently? I have watched it recently to be fair, no.

Because I've watched it recently, it's not good. Three I did not like very much. The Wild West one. Three was bad. Which was the one with the train. That was the third one. That was Back to the Future 3. So anyway, he comes home, his parents are completely different people. Now, if that had happened, his entire upbringing would have been wildly different. So he doesn't actually know his parents or his brother and sister anymore. And it's like, look how much better your life is

because your brother and sister are cool people that have jobs and are functional adults and your parents are in love and everything. And they're wealthy. And Biff now works for your dad. He's like, now, Biff, you're going to put that second coat on the car, aren't you? I'm sorry, Mr. McFly. I'll get right on it. It's like, wait a minute.

The life you've returned to is not yours. Why are you so happy? This is terrible. Yes, your life before wasn't great, but you've missed out on 20 years of your life. It's gone. You don't know anyone anymore. Yeah, you don't know them. Your parents will say, do you remember that holiday we had?

You've had 20 years of memories. Exactly. They're erased. You're now out of time back home. So you've arrived back home and all the holidays, all the upbringings, all the family jokes, everything is a mystery to you. And you'll have to do the thing where you go, I don't remember that Christmas at all. Remember, Marty? Don't you remember, Marty?

When your parents gave you a gold bullion because they're rich and successful and you became the most famous man in America? I don't remember it that. Jeez. You know, it's going to be like that his whole life. It's actually quite successful. Marty, we have to go back. Your parents are too successful and wealthy and they're doing well, but they've lost touch with reality.

We need to make them poor again. They're still in the same fucking house though. That also doesn't make sense. Like destiny led them to that suburban house that exact house regardless of what marty did they bought the same house the only real difference is they're happier and he has that truck he wanted that's it well it's i think it's a very light comedy time travel movie. It doesn't take itself too seriously. And the time travel is obviously a very big plot point. But it's also very clear that you're not supposed to fuck with time.

Yeah, because he's disappearing from the picture he's got of his family. His brother is just already gone. Yeah, like you said, I think it worked well because it was straightforward. he's got of his family his brother is just already gone yeah it's it's uh i like he's yeah like he said i think it worked well because it was so it was straightforward he travels once he goes backwards and then he goes forwards like that's it there's no fucking about there's no what i don't like is when a movie well you get a movie and the time travel like thing on it is like some complete madness it's like looking at spaghetti wall where someone's trying to figure out what happened yeah and it's like a time travel map there's like that they have

stuff like that in dark the series dark which is which also there's a lot of time travel really well um in my opinion another yeah because that sort of that sort of has three periods of time moving at the same yes and people can get joined stuck in you can go back in three periods of time moving at the same time yes and people can get joined stuck in you can go back in those periods of time and and then age in real time there and stuff as well right which is like really weird yeah i don't think that's too much of a spoiler no no it's just it's cool it's really well done in fact i in fact i think that helps you that'll help if you decide to watch it that will actually help help to make the series better. Because I think sometimes it is really very confusing

what the fuck's going on. Also, there's some good time travel movies. Tenet, for anyone that's watched Tenet, I'm sure they'll agree, it's a good time travel movie. Very interesting, very low budget. What are you talking about? Sorry, not Tenet.

Fuck, I'm such an absolute idiot. It's a similar kind of word. It's also not a low budget right what are you talking about sorry not tenet fuck i'm such the one we just i thought yeah i thought it's a similar kind of word it's also not a low budget movie it's called oh my god what the fuck is it called you want to start that again no there's some good i don't time travel movies hang on i'll get it it's like that it's like a similar kind of word uh oh fuck all right you guys chat for a sec i'll be i'll be right with you time traveling movies I get it. It's like that. It's like a similar kind of word. Oh, fuck. All right, you guys chat for a sec. I'll be right with you. What are time-traveling movies? What else? What other movies is there, like, some time... Oh, the best time-travel movie ever, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

I mean, the thing is, that movie was actually... Primer. Oh, right, okay. I've never seen... You can see how I got confused with yeah i can that's the one which i thought was a bit of a mess though no no it's very it's very good it's that not the one which is a mathematical mess no i don't think so i think it's really it's it's good it's good 12 monkeys i quite like the time traveling 12 monkeys bill and ted was this movie that was good fun oh yeah that was terrible that was the one where they they got the whales

and put them in the water tanks right what were they fucking thinking holy shit it's weird bill and ted kind of became like this it aged down it was like minecraft it came out and it was like for teens and then it sort of became a kid's show kind of thing there was a bill and ted's uh cartoon wasn't there yeah there was a whole bunch of bill and ted stuff but none none of it like it was all short-lived none of it oh really i thought it was quite famous like there was a there was two movies and then i think for a while when the first movie came out especially there was like cereal boxes and bed sheets and all that kind of stuff um but it wasn't it didn't it didn't stick

it wasn't like it became sort of like a like a classic 80s movie i guess that you you know if you saw it when you were a kid you look back on and like me remembering it being great i mean if i watched it today i don't know if i'd find it great there'd be nostalgic moments i remember loving it i remember loving yeah i loved it too man same with back to the future yeah and here's another movie i watched when i was a kid oddly enough we all took a cinema trip like i i you know a few of the parents took like a bunch of us kids to see the hunt for red october which is a great movie i watched that the other day on uh on the telly i think i've seen that like 20 fucking times you know what i feel like i've seen it 20 times but i don't remember it pretty much at all like i have seen it a bunch of times but it's not like one of those

movies where i could sort of like quote um you know like a famous line from it or even really remember the plot of it or anything i'll give you some lines to help you out but if i range the target mr vasily one ping only do you remember that bit no the hard part about playing chicken is knowing when to flinch do you remember that bit no

no you heard the torpedo hit the hull and I was never here contact Dallas give him the go do you remember that bit

no we're fans of the movie Will how do you fucking know all these lines from this movie I'll tell you now it's not even that famous i mean like the best submarine movie ever made i don't think i'm i'm not a strong yeah that's

i'm not a strong quote guy when it comes to movies like i've seen goodfellas a lot of times i would say in my life and even then the like quotes and stuff are are hazy at best for me you know like i remember certain scenes and stuff but i couldn't at best for me you know like i remember certain scenes and stuff but i couldn't recite god i'm thinking i can recite an awful lot from movies but i'm starting to think maybe i'm getting to the age now where i can watch like a movie that i know is good that i can't remember and i won't i won't remember any of it i'm looking i'm thinking the page is starting to turn where i can now you know i can now watch i can now start the cycle okay of starting to watch all those movies from 20 years ago and

then in 20 years time or less because my brain's going out of date quicker in 10 years time i can watch them all again yeah and then in five years after that i can watch them again and then i can read like a granddad in a nursing home just watching the same movie every day i watched the sopranos like 15 years ago and i forgot everything all the plot lines most of the characters like it was like what like i watched it recently and it was like watching it for the first time again like it was like i i'd forgotten so much of it like i remember generally things the theme of it and stuff but all the details and stuff completely gone like i just didn't remember any of it. So the reason that the reason that certain movies and I could list them, but I'll save you the boredom. The reason that certain

movies are embedded in my brain is because when I was a kid, we recorded stuff off the telly onto VHS, right? That was what you did. You recorded movies onto VHS, you'd have a stack of fucking tapes next to your telly. And when my mum was at work, and it was just me and my sister, and there's nothing on telly, we'd stick a movie on. And there were certain movies that I'd stick on because, you know, you've got a limited selection. There's nothing else to do. There's no internet. I didn't have a computer. I was fucking bored out of my mind. I didn't want to watch the news or whatever the fuck was on telly. There were only four channels. Most of it was wank

so we'd stick a movie on and Things like Back to the Future, Hunt for Red October, Goodfellas stuff like that We've seen like a hundred two hundred fucking times because we just didn't have anything else to watch or do So that's why some of these films the dialogue is glued The Burbs is a prime example the burbs was on the other day oh the i remember so much dialogue i don't remember the dialogue but i like the movie a lot i watched it a bunch of times i watched that because it was on it popped up on fucking i guess it's just alexa listening to me because we were talking to you about all the movies and i fucking watched i

watched it was on amazon or something it popped up i was like just watched it in the background well it's kind of a shitty movie. Excuse me. What, The Birbs? Excuse me. The Birbs. It's one of those ones where it's like, at the time, it was really good.

Kind of like Bill and Ted's. And you're just more nostalgic for it than anything, right? Looking back on it. I don't know if you watched it for the first time now with no context whatsoever, if you would really enjoy it much. Maybe. It's got Tom Hanks in, if you would really enjoy it. Maybe. It's got Tom Hanks in, young Tom Hanks doing comedy roles mode, where he was at his best, I think.

It's got a gorgeous Carrie Fisher in it as the archetypal hot mom. She's gorgeous, right? She's actually in it. Yeah, yeah. She's his wife. It's got Bruce Dern as in it. I think it's Bruce Dern as his ex-military neighbor. Yeah.

He was in a lot of stuff in the 80s. He was, yeah, he was. But the guys who play the Germans that live in the house, the crazy house, they really crack me up. The old guy, his mouth is completely upturned, like a pug or a fucking French bulldog. He's got his mouth mouth is completely upturned like like a pug or or a fucking french bulldog he's got his mouth like this turned up and he says to him it's funny uh funny hands i didn't see uh the moving truck parking that is strange because it was parked outside all day

i just love so many bits in that film yeah uh and my sister my sister and I used to watch that film all the time so the burbs has big big nostalgia energy for me well it has like it's it's a decent premise and a good cast but it just felt like a just a bit of a shit movie like I don't know it didn't feel like didn't feel like there was any like reward or payoff it just felt like this sort of weird twilight zoney kind of it's just goofy they made movies like that in the 80s i guess so yeah do you reckon it's like it was a vehicle for tom hanks at the time and they were like let's get tom hanks in a movie what are we gonna fucking put him in here we go yeah yeah i mean like i watched uh planes trains and automobiles

the other day as well which is another classic 80s film. John Candy and Steve Martin, and they're stuck and he's trying to get home for Thanksgiving. And there's really very little sort of high drama or anything like that in it. It's just kind of small talk. That's what it is. Yeah, they basically make their way... It's like the small talk of movies.

It is. They make their way very slowly across the country and get into annoying things happen. And John Candy's kind of irritating to share a hotel room with. They make some mistakes along the way and John Candy invariably kind of causes an issue, but then also kind of solves the issue and is kind of lovable John Candy as usual. Steve Martin really doesn't have any funny lines in the film. Like it's weird. His entire role in the film is to be this suffering straight man, which is so weird for a comedian like Steve Martin.

It's like this weird transition from like The Jerk and all those films where he was just a clown into The Straight Man and sort of like has to put up with John Candy and gets annoyed. It's an odd film, but I did enjoy it. Uncle Buck, I watched that. That was another film my sister and i watched like a thousand times planes trains and automobiles i watched a whole bunch yeah that's what pflex was just talking about i can tell you it's uncle buck yeah uh weekend at bernie's home alone the first one i mean obviously home alone's of incredibly national national lampoons can you can you like

describe what happens in Uncle Buck in like yes I can describe what happens in Uncle Buck a family has to go away they rely on their

deadbeat uncle Buck to look after the kids while the parents have to go out of town and they live in a very big house in a very fancy neighborhood

and he's a complete schlub who drives a car that constantly belches black smoke he makes his living by gambling and being a bit of a wide boy and uh he smokes you know cigars and and he has the the core battle in the film is him and the older daughter she wants to go out with this guy bug who's a complete piece of shit and he's like no don't do it and that's basically the film um right it's a i mean that sounds like nothing yeah i know it's such a very such a basic simple it's just like a premise with no there's nothing on the hook right like it's it's like recently every movie has had to be some world-ending disaster well is prevented

you know like some you know some it's all high concept right it's all high concept it's all it's all low stakes good premise weird scenario yeah but a lot of movies in the 80s were like that but they were good like there's so many of those movies were were really good right because they didn't try to do too much. They didn't really try to be too funny either. Like they were just kind of, they just ended up being really, really good. And they kind of stood the test of time too. I think a lot of those movies, you know, because a lot of people, they're still on, you still see them on TV.

People still go back to watch them, right? Yeah, yeah. I've definitely spoken to Mrs. F about this before about the plot for a lot of movies it feels like the elevator pitch was never expanded on you know it was literally as simple as uh okay uh how about this uh robot travels back in time to kill a guy who's going to be like a leader of the resistance in a future war a lot of these movies were written by the same like three guys though like it was they were they were they were very of the time they were relied on by big studios to just pump out script after script after script and they wrote hundreds and like maybe 10 of them

became movies or whatever but you can tell like the guy who made Home Alone also made like whatever. And you're like, yeah, this guy's style, I recognize it or whatever. And then another guy and then another guy. But that's just kind of how it was like back then. Yeah, yeah. And I guess it's sort of still kind of like that. But there's much more – back then it was all movies, right? But now you've got like all these streaming services, paid subscription services that people like, you know, write stuff for like Netflix,

Amazon prime, like all these like longer running things. There's like, uh, there's, there's kids TV. I don't know if you've ever watched much while you probably have seen some kids TV, but like CBeebies, for example, if you watch, if you, if you have CBeebies on and your kids are watching it throughout the day or whatever, take a look at the credits at the end of like an episode or at the very start where it says written by most of the shows are written by like the same two or three guys, like as, as like the lead writer, I'm not even joking. It's just like, they just have like probably a staff like anywhere else would, where they're just like, okay, They just have like probably a staff like anywhere else would where they're just like, OK, we've got this idea. We want to have four heroes that are, you know, sort of like distinct enough in themselves so that we can make toys of them later on.

And they have to have these fun adventures and go for it. And, you know, Paw Patrol comes out or you know what I mean? It's but that's just it's it's like a it's like a assembly line it's like a factory for like shows i think a lot of the time like it's it's it's backscratching and stuff like this as well and and also people who've made something before it's like i don't care what you make you made this thing before therefore we're just going to trust you to make the next thing do you mean and and you end up with a lot of very mediocre stuff but i think studios and tv stations traditionally didn't care really they just needed to fill those bits of air time they had a certain amount of budget and they just needed consistency yeah i think i think nowadays

everything is so numbers driven but also in the same way people aren't willing to take risks either any even even today like i think in you know you'd rather the project got completed on time and on budget than you know you you took a risk on something that might not work it's the same with games it's the same with everything really i think that the indie games and indie movies have allowed always allowed you know creativity and i think that's where most of it stems from you know it's it's a creative indie that then gets adapted into a big game um you know or or movie in the same way i think i think movies always have more freedom though because there's so much in a sense like historically they get a far bigger budget too right so it's like i guess that helps yeah and you can have

kind of these wild guys in charge yeah these a lot of the a lot of the sort of wacky off the wall movies come from these specific direct coke snorting made enough stuff before yeah that they're not really a risk the movie they're making is a risky movie but in a sense like they're not yeah because you know you know you're gonna get something out of them. And people are going to watch it out of interest. People watch bad movies routinely because it's weird. People want to know.

I saw a lot of people watch Cats just for the sake of morbid curiosity. Yeah, probably, yeah. Oh, my gosh. What a podcast. What a week it's been. Oh, what else have I done? Wait, I was segueing into ending the podcast. Oh, were you? I was, yeah. That's why I said, what a podcast what a week it's been oh what else have i done wait i was segwaying into ending the podcast i hope oh were you i was yeah that's why i said what a podcast i thought i see lewis was gonna be like oh yeah well that's all we got time for today right right i've made it

all right i'm sorry okay i've started playing a few vr games oh nice um yeah i cracked well i decided that because we've had we started this second lockdown I was like I can't really go out well I can't go out but I don't anyway but I felt like I just needed to do something that involved standing up for more than 10 minutes every day I just generally try to stand up more now like I eat standing up and like pacing around my kitchen and stuff like you know just trying to get extra little bits of exercise wherever i can because i don't really do much exercise i don't really like exercising either no i hate it yeah i really stink it's so boring but no i've i've seen some podcasts and i was i was i was doing some other stuff standing up i'm trying to i'm trying to

walk around a bit i don't know anyway well listen i hope everyone's doing all right i'm worried about people out there and i love yeah keep your peckers up out there there's another big lockdown stay positive stay positive at least if you can try to get out for some fresh air maybe have like a walk or whatever which is more than i do um but hopefully you know with the vaccine rolling out and everything things will start to level off. You know, maybe spring, summer. Yeah, if you have lip fillers, maybe don't take it just yet. But, you know, I'm sure they'll...

Again, they don't put Botox in your lips. No, maybe they don't. But remember, the vaccine protects you from 5G. True, true. So consider that. Yeah, there's always a silver lining, right? Well, it's actually a sort of silicon lining. Yeah, well, I mean, it's a lining sort of silicon lining yeah well i mean it's

a lining um however you want to look at it so there's that so um god bless you and uh good night everybody good night bye see you next week bye