Triforce! - Triforce! #160: Finding our Dream Jobs

Episode Date: January 20, 2021

Triforce! Episode 160! Do you throw money into ponds? What is your dream job? Do you like chutney? Are you laying in your bed feeding your fat head with an automatic Malteaser dispenser? Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Good morning. Welcome back. Good morning. Good morning. It's the Trifles podcast. That's right. Oh, thanks for joining us. Good morning. It's the Triforce Podcast. That's right. Oh, thanks for joining us. Good morning. Oh, something to have you here. Oh. Do you think we should do all of this stuff? Podcast?

Thank you so much for downloading the podcast and listening. I love you, listener out there. There is a little bit of that. I get the impression sometimes when I listen to it and watch certain things. Pandering to the audience that people use to make people feel good for no reason well no there's a reason for making people feel good so they feel good right that's um you know you and and like as a person who wants people to listen to their podcast you want people feeling as good as possible because then if they're

feeling good they'll come back next time time. I don't want that though. Sometimes I'm like, Oh, this is a bit Oh, why is he? Come on? What's this? Right? Don't need it. I have this attitude on when I'm streaming and someone subs, I say thanks for the sub. Right? That's it. Yeah, because I'll be honest with you. Not because I'm not pleased that I mean, people listen to this podcast, which is great. I love that. But I'm not going to make a big deal about it because I think it would be disingenuous.

And it's very hard. If I meet someone and they say, and they sidle up and they say, oh, by the way, Pirin, I have a tiny penis. I say, oh, thanks very much for listening to the podcast. You know, that's nice. But if you're, there's so many people on the internet that try to make the thank you seem oh thanks so much shout out to so so blah blah blah so if you did

that all day yeah it would fucking suck like i hate watching a stream where someone's just talking to chat fuck chat they came here to watch imagine imagine you're busking i think of streaming a little bit like busking right you're there with your guitar playing stuff in the street and you expect people to come along and throw a quid in your in your like asshole yeah you're gaping right in there ouch just playing the piano face down ass up gaping asshole just playing the piano just like flip a coin into your butthole make a wish what would you wish for if you put a pound coin in someone's butthole i i assume that's to get my pound back i don't think i'd pay a pound for that i think the whole time i don't think um the way wishes work is you can't uh articulate them out into the world right or

they won't come true so they have to be in your mind yeah that that's the only way wishes work is you can't articulate them out into the world, right? Or they won't come true. So they have to be in your mind. Yeah, that's the only way wishes come true. Much like the scene in Ghostbusters when Gozer tells the Ghostbuster crew to think of something. Choose the form of the destroyer. Yes, right. And everybody clears their minds except for Ray, who can't help but think about Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. So I feel like, coming back to what we were just talking about,

I feel like if I threw a pound coin into somebody's butthole and made a wish in my mind, I would wish that I never had to experience throwing a pound coin into somebody's butthole. Yes, well, that's a very reasonable wish. Do you think that's come about because it tends to be a very childish thing to like throw coins in a fountain and all of children's wishes are all so awful you should you're like just no it'll only work if you don't tell me my eldest daughter hates to see money thrown in anything. I think at heart she understands. Take it after a dad.

Well, no. I mean, she literally. Very frugal lady. If we're walking past a fountain. You see people chuck them in fish ponds. You see them chuck it in fish ponds, Lewis. People chuck money in any body of water. Yeah, I don't understand it.

And she's like, why are they doing it? And I was like, well, they think it's good luck or something. And also, I tried to say to a look if other people see money in there they think oh you throw money in the pond do you oh and they sort of do it too they don't really think they just go this is the thing that you do so I put I take the money from my pocket and I put it in the pond they don't really know why they're doing it i love that i love that voice really i i get that feeling as well to conform yeah i'd throw a pound in your butthole if you were a dusk in the street with that voice gently or would you like whip it in there would you like

like a major league baseball pitcher just like like a big wind up and then whack, just pound coin right in the... And now at Yankee Stadium, the ceremonial first pound up the butthole. Make a fucking wish. And then the guy winds up on the mound and then really wings it. And there's the catcher, as they refer to him, gaping his butthole trying to catch the pound. We need a pitcher. That's a tough target, man. Not a belly itcher.

We need a catcher not a belly scratcher belly scratcher yeah those were the those were the ones do you ever when you're sitting at your computer chair at your desk and you're like streaming or whatever do you ever look down and notice that like your belly is like kind of poking out of your shirt like it because you're slouching or whatever no you ever have like an exposed belly you're slouching forward i tend to slouch forward and then see i like recline back so right my belly is like protruding at times which is comfortable but um embarrassing too sometimes i look down i'm like what the hell have i become the hell am i doing there's definitely an element of slovenliness about uh about my stream i because i mean i i don't know if you're the same as me,

but I love, like, I really value the time I get to play games. I think I spoke about it on stream a while back. The reason why is because I didn't have a computer when I was younger, and there were loads of games I wanted to play that I couldn't. So it was like a childhood and a teenagehood, if you like, of being denied something. So when I finally got it, I never wanted to let it go. And playing games became such a big thing on my time, which is why I love the fact that what I do means I can play games all day. I hate it. I have a very bad instinct of someone tells me to do something.

I don't do it. Like I really don't want to do it. I don't know why. It's a very awful rebellious instinct that I just hate being told to do things. It's very human. Yeah, I think I think it's a very, very human feeling. But Lewis, most people get by. Who's trying to tell you to do something? No one. That's the point. Right. That's the point. Not anymore. Because I've thrown off the yoke of oppressive employment and become self-employed, which has its own concerns, of course. But I just hated bosses and management and the structure of a company and the hierarchy and being told what to do. And feeling sometimes that I'm being told to do this, this is of no value. sometimes that I'm being told to do this, this is of no value.

Especially if you're being told to do it by your boss, who is that guy who throws the coins in the fountain. Exactly. Oh, Perion, I need you to print off the schedule for next week. I saw you had printed it earlier, but the issue is it's the wrong font. So we're going to need the whole thing reprinted. We need this, you beauty piece. I like that voice. I'm going to do that one more.

I love that. I like that. I like him. I think working for him will be equally fine, actually. He sounds fine. Yeah, he sounds reasonable. But yeah. I don't think

the voice works if he's unreasonable he cares about fonts you fucking asshole you have really fucked up here stupid he can't be angry i'm livid i'm absolutely with the quality of work which you have been turning in, it's unacceptable. You're fired. Like, it doesn't work. You'd be like, oh, you. He's too lovable.

He is way too lovable, yeah. There is this rebellious, like, thing in us, though, in the same way that, like, we all want to do... You see it in games. You know, oftentimes, you know, you'll be playing a game and someone will tell you to do it's you see it in games you know oftentimes you know you'll be playing a game and someone will tell you to do something and um you know god if i've watched any of sips's things it's that he will do the opposite you know the opposite even if it's a completely reasonable request often you know like what why don't you eat your dinner it's like why don't you go fuck

yourself wait what i never see i mean sometimes yes sips that's you to a t is that what you guys think of me thanks very much no no no i don't mean it like that i mean it like um in a sense like we as humans automatically like to play games that's one of the parts of what makes us human right we like to solve puzzles feisty find solutions to things and that's part of how we've evolved too in the same way that you see i don't know a crow fucking grabbing a nut and dropping on a zebra crossing or whatever i think they're doing that to stay alive aren't they they're not doing it for a laugh well yeah but that's how i mean we solving puzzles is part of how we've survived too like i'm sure that the coins thing for example was originally from when we found a clean source of water

or something like this you know i mean this is how these fucking traditions evolve there's not very many well well in india rivers are holy aren't they and so i'm sure that they chuck money in there because they're this is taking some turns this has gone from it's stupid to throw coins into a pond to the fact that indian people throw money in holy rivers well it is to a rational mind right but also i think nowadays it's probably even ironically poisoning it because i'm sure some coins contain fucking chromium and stuff um so i'm sure that the idea once was you know all we found this source of fresh water let's worship and celebrate yeah maybe maybe we're actually actively poisoning this source of fresh water and killing all the fish in there by chucking coins

you think that that actually harms the fish the coins in a fountain not well it depends how it depends if that's if it's like a if it's like a pond a sort of pond system where there's not any cycling of the water if it's a river I'm sure constantly flowing over it a little bit of a coin is not going to make a fucking difference. Okay, water is an essential part of life. This is how this article begins. I mean, thanks for that fucking heads up there. Read it in that voice.

The origin of wishing wells. Water is an essential part of life. Until recently, having a source of unlimited clean water was something of a luxury. And even today, in some parts of the world, clean water is hard to find. Centuries ago, in Europe, this clean water was considered a gift from the

gods. In fact, many people believe gods, or deities, actually lived in the water. And then they would chuck money in. People believe in mythology. God's lived in the water and then they would chuck money in people so people norse mythology mimears well lived in just about anything like there's there's people who have in india and japan the spirits and gods in a fucking you name what they call it is it pantheism is that the idea that that god is is in all things is that pantheism i can't remember there is a word for it the god of

things like you know that everything is imbued with a spirit god there's like like you could find somewhere where there's a god of fucking shoes and different god for socks do you mean a god for gloves and he's a bit weird he's got his own stories i don't know i think i think it's quite sweet in a way because if you have gods of individual things whilst worshiping them all is a pain in the ass, you've got to be a bit choosy. You can't just worship all of the bloody things. It forces you to at least respect inanimate objects and things like rocks and trees and stuff. Because if you think they're imbued with some kind of spirit,

surely that's better than just saying it's just a tree. Just fucking cut it down. Do you know what I mean? Maybe it helps. Oh, for sure. Oh, for sure. i think that's that's nice i think that that's it's nice to respect your things and treat them especially if you don't have you know many things you want to make sure you look after them and so i can see how these things happen oh yeah oh of course yeah you know i had a flashback this morning

to a job that i had when i was at university. Between years, I'd have a job. I've mentioned it before, my warehouse job. In fact, I think it was fairly recently. Man, I love a warehouse job. Well, it's definitely right up your street. You love a warehouse or a factory. We all know that. And you can understand why.

Because at the very least, it was quite a straight, you know, it was a simple job once you learn where everything was. You get the objects, you put them in the cart, you take them to the front. They package them up to take to the different shops that need those things. It's quite peaceful. We'd put the radio on and all the rest of it. But I was only doing it for the summer. But the other lad there was doing it.

This was his job. And we were the same age. He had made some very bad decisions in his life up to that point. The day I first met him, one side of his face was all smashed up because he'd been cycling down quite a big hill in pool and had sort of been distracted in some way and just absolutely fucked it into some cars and just been smashed up on his bike and then continued cycling. And I was like, God, when did this happen? He was like, oh, this morning. I was like, are you sure you don't want to go to a doctor's like nah mate it'll be fine and he had like a

massive massive open wound like right here and he was all smashed up uh and i was like damn that can't be right and then we got chatting and everything he was always getting like in fights he was getting uh he would get extremely drunk at the weekend with his mates, like blind drunk, and have no recollection of what he'd done, and wake up in a cell and all the rest of it. Proper out of control, doesn't know, like zero direction. Right. And there was this girl, he was expecting a baby with some bird he'd had sex with in a pub toilet, which is classy. And the thing is, he seemed like he was

such a sweet guy. Like he really was a nice guy. As soon as he was always nice to me, we just met. He was fascinated about the fact I was at university. He was just couldn't believe it. He's like, what are you doing here? I was like, well, it's just a summer job, isn't it? And he looked at me and I could see him thinking, this is this is my actual job, you know. And it was I just thought it's interesting how different our lives were. But he really just needed to stop getting absolutely blind drunk at the weekend and things would be so much better for him. But he had to because he had this shitty job working in a warehouse.

That was it. I felt terrible. So I woke up this morning bummed out because I was just thinking about that lad and wondering what he's up to now. He's probably got four children and a fucking very successful twitch channel do you know what i mean holy crap he's doing all right for himself i don't know like i wonder i wonder whether the these decisions compound themselves you know the fact that he's like had a had an accident meant that oh he's gonna have to have a have a drink

and then that leads one thing leads to another and it's all part of the same source problem maybe should have just gone to the doctor he just lacked direction he just lacked there was a lot of stuff that slight changes would have made a big difference for this guy i'm pretty sure the ladies that worked at the warehouse they were like in the office When he was out of earshot, the older one would always say to me, oh, Paul's having a terrible time at the moment. He's all over the place. Keep an eye on him, would you? And I was like, yeah, okay. They were very concerned for him. I think everybody just felt this lad is making bad choices. And they were the ones who told me about him expecting a baby with a girl he had sex with in a pub toilet it's funny how quickly you get involved in the gossip of a workplace people can't wait to tell you yeah it's bizarre it is we that must be

another human thing where people can't help share secrets about other people that they know or something or gossip is this weird thing i i had a very similar experience recently pflex and i i don't and i was thinking about it and you know because i had this time when i finished uni and hadn't really enjoyed my my course hadn't really enjoyed chemistry didn't really want to work in it and so i came home and lived with my parents for a couple of years and i was doing sort of temp jobs and stuff and learning to drive and a couple of other things so it wasn't entirely wasted but I was very I felt like I was really wasting my time I wasn't going anywhere I was very directionless I was very kind of I don't know I

was very nervous and always feeling like I was wasting my time or I wasn't making the most of it or do you know me people always say, you're in your early 20s. You're in your early 20s at this point, aren't you? Yeah, I was like 22, 23. Where did this idea come from? It's parents, isn't it? It's an instinct to worry about kids and be like, if you aren't already on some fast track to success,

you're wasting your life. You're 22. There's nothing. I was seeing a couple of people around me or friends who i'd known who had gone into jobs and had started making progress with their lives or had got engaged or something like that you know and i was sat there sort of still living my parents you know fucking single living in the countryside depressed playing you know playing video games I don't know like it was it was a bad time um

and I never really even like I guess I I it took a while to get out of the rut and I was very lucky that I I you know found success with with what I was doing which was kind of an escapist thing which is playing video games online with people you know I was very it's very lucky that i found a route out of it to have a real role that i felt like i wasn't having a horrible time in um and i i i wonder how many people who have you know of our generation struggle struggled or are struggling still with with like finding themselves like simon's a good example someone who didn't find a very good place for himself you know and he was older than me by the time we started to do this i mean i feel like sips you had a proper job and family you had it all locked down you know you knew what you were doing kind of you'd like well as much as anybody does know what they're doing like but were you were you happy like would you have been content to continue doing what you were doing or

were you always looking for something else i I was always looking for something else. Because, well, you know, yourself, like, we make fun of it a lot on this podcast. Like, the work and life and everything can be really, really fucking awful. Like, you know, if you the wrong, if you're at a place where the wrong people are working or you know you just don't gel with with people or whatever i mean you have to do that every day all day every day yeah yeah you know it just it it wears you wears you out after a while right you just i i mean we joke about it because because we've been there right and it's like i joke about it but i'm so fucking glad i don't have to do it you know what i mean like

like i would have been pretty miserable if I had to just carry on. Like, I would have been all right. But I would have been one of those guys who just was like counting the minutes at work every day. Right, right, right. I wouldn't have been engaged. I wouldn't have gone like the extra mile. I wouldn't have been interested in anything I was doing.

I would have just been like browsing the internet, waiting to go home. Well, there's a lot of psychological traps that trap you in places. Because sometimes you think, well, look, I'm never going to get a job as good as this you know i know it's got all these problems but at the same time it's close to it's close to my house or it's yeah it's easy or it's i don't want to have to worry about finding a new one or i don't know if i'm going to be able to go and fit in with a new group of people or like oh i should like

working here you know i work for the best place on this place and i should feel good and so like there's all these little things that that keep you unhappy i think and one of the pieces of advice i was given which i don't know whether this is good advice at all is to just you know use some of your holiday days to go and interview other places you know potentially like just apply for other similar roles because you'll find that sometimes they'll pay you twice as much for doing the same shit um or whatever you know like some so i i think if you're not if you're not happy and you're not and you you're not like and you you don't know why maybe at work like or whatever to go ahead and apply something so my brother did um because he was working on the on the railways and he'd been

there so he's he's younger than me and he left school at 16 and he's worked on the railways ever since so he's 30 35 now 26 now right how old am i yeah you're younger than me and so he worked there for 20 years 20 years on the railway man and boy this is what i feel like a child right i've and he worked on the railways for 20 years, and he's my younger brother. Isn't that crazy to say? So what happened after 20 years? They gave him his own train, and he rode it off into the sunset? He got a watch, gold watch, retired?

No. So obviously, he worked as a signaling engineer, which meant that he was – I mean, his stories are really interesting. But I think generally, he started off on this response team. So they would get a notification that one of the signals had broken. They'd rush out there and fix it, you know. But the reality was that

they were a bunch of men in a warehouse. You know, they were given these motorbikes to like get to the scene quickly and fix the signals. But the reality was that they were all a bit overweight and lazy and a lot of bacon sandwiches. And they had a van and so something would go off and they'd all pile in this van drive out you know to pizzi or somewhere where i don't know some

some some place where only the you know freight trains go um you know look at look at the signal for a bit go brassard one don't know how we're going to do that cut down some nettles that were blocking it and then go back to the office again you know or whatever so it would be or there was a rat that you know fried itself on the right electronics or something they were anyway he he ended up he's changed his role now um and moved across the country to somewhere completely different and he's a lot a lot happier and it i think it took a lot of effort and work to to make that change because he was he wasn't comfortable and he wasn't happy for sure but he was trapped a little bit you know by by the history and the the the he you know he didn't want to give up that thing he put 20 years

into that position you know sure um it felt like he wanted i don't know i mean you could say it felt like a time to change but i think it's still it was still a hurdle to get to that right yeah yeah um and so i think he i'm i'm happy that he's managed to like find something else that he could do um in the same sort of because even even with that job you know you think maybe he could get a job anywhere right it's strange everywhere right but actually you know i think it's it's harder than you think oh yeah but then again like most that's one thing i learned coming out of uni was that i had a degree in chemistry right and in order to get a job as a science journalist was which was what i had planned to do going to uni in the first place i could have a degree in any science discipline it didn't fucking matter right but here's the but when i actually had to work as a science journalist

almost every article i wrote i didn't know about at all i didn't know a shit about it it was like it was like it was imagine you're a sports writer and you're covering the olympics and you're a football football fan you now have to learn about handball a game that you've never heard about you have to learn the rules for curling you have to learn the rules for fucking i don't know some dumb sport that you've never heard of and you're constantly having to do that and write and cover these things as if you were an expert and so i would be on the internet and wikipedia i think was just about started when i was being a science journalist and i would have to become like overnight i basically more i spend more time learning the fucking subject than I would actually, you

know, writing the article. Do you not think that that's true of most journalists? That's what I'm saying, though, for most jobs, too. I think like, you know, sure, he did this very specific niche job on the railway. When he goes to a different job on the railway, very little is going to transfer over. He's going to have to learn that job from scratch. i think like so different that's a sort of like a common thought like when people go to university people sort of um people think of education as like they mix it up they think it's like training or whatever you know so they think because you went to university

for this one specific thing you should know exactly how to do just that but you you go to university you go to college and stuff where they teach you how to learn in that field further right they don't they don't just show you how to do something necessarily like some things yeah like more hands-on things i guess they show you how to do them and then you just build experience but like for like like you know programming or chemistry or whatever they're teaching you how to like learn in that field so that when you go out you can apply what you've you've learned to all of these things that you don't know about right but like i think you can do it better than most people because you have that i think it is supposed to be there i just what i guess what i'm trying to

say is that i feel like so often you'll apply for a job and they won't the most often people want experience doing that job yes and sometimes that doesn't exist well that's the catch 22 of work people are saying oh we need to recruit a guy to work on this thing and we need four years of experience and the actual program itself has only been out for two years you know i mean so there's no possible way anyone could exist who has that level of experience but but at the same time they do need to hire someone and if you can you're you it may be i'm not saying to do this it may be that you look at these jobs and you think i'm not qualified for this at all right but you you're what you've been doing may give you more

ability to do that or learn that in you know a couple of months and then do it yeah rather than someone who you know could i'm not i'm i'm i'm getting confused but the point is i don't know what i'm saying i'm not saying apply for jobs with no experience that's not helpful but i'm i just i think i think like um sometimes you might have to change you you can't look for too much of a niche. You have to look broader within your field. I don't know. I was always told as well, like, you know, try and apply to things, the world that you want to work in and then work towards what your dream job is.

Or at least you'll see people doing your dream job if you work there. And maybe after a while, you'll realize it isn't your dream job. What is a dream job? maybe after a while you'll realize it isn't your dream job you know what is a dream job yeah i mean even like what we do now i would consider kind of like a dream job i guess but you don't it doesn't feel like that when you're doing it right at times you still you don't it doesn't feel like a job but you just sort of so naturally take it in your stride especially if this is your hobby leading into it, that it just doesn't feel like a job at all. Right. So I guess maybe that is a dream job. That is, I mean,

obviously, that they don't think about it. They're a dream jobs. But yeah, it doesn't feel like a job. Yeah. Because it doesn't feel like work. No, I think that's the thing. So I'm asking, what would be your dream job? If we couldn't do this, what would be the job that you would think would make you as happy as you are with the job you've got now? See, I always go back to Carl Pilkington's thing where he said he wanted to be, or he remembers fondly being a post boy

when he was a kid, right? And the same thing with the warehouse. You'd think that something not completely repetitive, like I don't want to work in a fish factory right that that's like the opposite of a dream job that's a nightmare job where you get the stinky fish come in you chop them up on the production line you send them on that's anything like that to me is a disaster i like a job where it's a little bit of a game maybe like i can imagine like working in a sorting office trying to like decipher where stuff goes like like efficiently that would be your dream job i don't know well not maybe like in a before before modern machinery okay you want to be my job is about 50 years ago so things come down a chute and you have to put them into piles that's your dream job no something more like

something like a simple game with low with low low stakes okay no one's like no one's like making me make decisions on oh india invaded pakistan what we gonna do i'm like oh fuck i don't want to i don't want to be involved in that stuff i don't want to be like illegal battles where people are like you said this about you you said this about you i don't want to be dealing with that i don't want to be like you know this i don't want to be a lawyer i don't want to be anywhere near anything i don't want to be in any dangerous lab situation where i have to work with dangerous chemicals it's stressful right i don't want to work with that but you're again you're listing not dream jobs but your dream job is still so i'm wondering wondering what's left, P-Flex.

Something a robot could do. I don't want to work in a shop. There's too many people. I just think it's a nice postal sorting office in the old days where they bring in the stacks of parcels. They're like, hey, post for Pat.

And I'm like, hey. What the fuck? Amazing. How you doing, Jess? It's all nice. Jess was a cat. Yeah, well, Jess is there. You say hi. Jess was a cat they jess is there you say hi jess was okay you know jess um jess i'm just saying it would be it's it there's the i think sometimes the romanticness of you know

just a simple thing where you're doing something different it has it has to have like okay we can write down traits of what the job is okay yeah one it has to be different every day okay yeah it needs to have some okay your dream job needs to be different every day yeah it has to be something different i think there's too much emphasis on like on on job here because i feel like again the nature of jobs is that when you're young and you're a lot more maybe ambitious than you are as you get older it feels a lot worse working somewhere right because you feel stifled or you feel held back and in like i felt like that a lot i felt like why am i like why am i wasting my time here when i could be doing this or i could be doing that or like you know i very much thought that like you know seize the day like the the world is my oyster or whatever you know i

got to go out there like why am I not like a millionaire or why am I not this or why am I not like you know what I mean I felt like that when I was younger and I was just getting into the workplace or I'd only been working for like five years or whatever but now that I'm older and I've done what I've been doing for a while or whatever my attitude would be completely different like I know we're joking around about Lewis saying his dream job is being at a sorting place or whatever. But if I had to go back to work now, I would just want to work somewhere like that, where it was just like, I didn't need to even really think about what was going on. You know what I mean? I could just get lost in my thoughts all day. Or nowadays, I'm sure

I could just listen to some music while I did this really fucking mundane job and just got through the day because realistically dream job or not nobody really wants to be somewhere else other than just like at home doing whatever you like right and I think that's why we have a dream job now because we are for the most part just at home doing whatever we like you know what I mean you're completely right I could wake up and say fuck it i'm not streaming today i'm just gonna watch like all three original star wars movies today and i can justify that and i'd be happy doing that i have that all the games i play yeah are like the most boring repetitive shit you know every shooter is the same fucking thing right overwatch valoran you fucking name it they're all the same you go in there you point

your cursor at someone and you click and sometimes there's a flashy light it's like running it's like rolling a fucking jackpot slot machine right it's the same right every day and every other game is the same too world of warcraft you're doing the same shit you're pressing the same buttons over and over again for like ages and and but that that they're the ones which are hidden games right i'm actually been playing obvious games like fucking the crossword one i was playing pit cross last week i was playing like i don't know ftl and slay the spy these are just they're the same shit like they're they're they're not they're not like creative they're not making me create things or do anything they're just simple fun enjoyment ways and i don't see like i imagine i imagine some jobs like working at the sorting

office as it's very high than um being like just this basic puzzle where you get presented with these things and you sort them and i do that in my spare time and i listen to podcasts and i enjoy it and like i just don't feel like that is a as long as it's sufficiently different every day and as long as you could change it up occasionally um you know move from move to a different place or maybe one day you do the parcels instead of the letters or maybe i don't know do you mean like it has there has to be change there has to be something different you can't stay in the same place but i think that that is inherently very satisfying as us as humans to complete simple tasks and feel like i always think the warehouse job is like satisfying thing. One,

one of the things I did with my, when my, when I was living at home with my parents was I took over their mail order business, which was, which was like this thing where we only got about five orders every day or something, but I would, you know, print off the orders and I'd stick, I'd package the things up and I'd write the little thank you notes and I'd take it to the post office. And it was like this thing I did every day and it made me feel like I wasn't it was it was I didn't I didn't I I didn't look forward to it I didn't hate it though and I certainly I felt like it was it was okay I it I suppose it did cheer me up yeah I don't know it felt like I was engaging with the world physically I was going outside like it was a positive thing and so i think when you look at like jobs and stuff one of the always i i'm told and i've got a few friends who are teachers and

they always say teaching is this thing which has like one of the highest rated happiness of people right because i think and i think it's due to some of the elements i think it's they're doing something different every day they're engaging with people they're kind of going outside and they're seeing kids too i think kids are very interesting to like just just to watch just to see i mean you talk about your kids yeah they're my kids other people's kids can just fuck right off honestly i don't i don't want to you know what i mean yes well i don't want to look after them i don't want to hear about any of this i totally understand that understand that. I've got my own shit. But as a teacher, being in this position where you're kind of, you know, imparting your wisdom on people, it seems to be a very, again, a very human thing that we want to share the things we've learned to help you. We want to teach.

It's like part of evolution in the same way that, you know, we are superstitious and we are these things because they've led us through to to survive i think they're built in and so teaching i think is i always think like is something which we i may have ended up doing if the reason i didn't do teaching was because i realized that everyone had a camera and a video on their phone and i was uncomfortable with the idea that i would just constantly be filmed and put on the internet so you decided to then become a youtuber uh a very strange decision so first of all my daughter has a phone my oldest uh has a phone she's at secondary school they their phones cannot be heard or seen throughout the

day. If they are, they are confiscated. You are not allowed to just take your phone into the classroom and film the teacher. That's not a thing. She keeps her phone in her locker, drops it off at the start of the day, picks it up at the end of the day. So I don't think your imagination is wrong. Well, I think this was back in the day when I was younger. And so i didn't don't think really mobile phones had become too much of a thing but i think i think so what were you worried about people with hand crank cameras i don't know film crews you always make up stupid excuses in your head for why you know when you when you actually examine them and put them out

you're like oh that's a stupid fucking reason isn't it um now there's a job i think that satisfies quite a few of uh of your requirements it's different every day you're teaching something different okay you get new intakes of kids coming and going you've got to know them but now there's a new class coming in uh so the curriculum changes and there might be some new bullshit handed down by the government or or whoever that you have to cope with uh your colleagues are all sort of got a you know we're all on the front line kind of mentality so i'm sure there's a lot of uh camaraderie there and stuff like that i think teaching would probably be a very satisfying job i know i know several

teachers and their complaints are not based around the job sucks it's everything around the job that sucks and a lot of people are called to teach they feel compelled to do it yeah it's like nursing doctors i'd say it's a calling um it's maybe not like uh like romantic or like glamorous as sort of like health care because that's kind of seen as like the you know if you're a doctor you're held in a very high esteem. Right, right. Even like nurses and other healthcare workers, they're seen in like a higher esteem than teachers, right? Teachers are generally not seen. Well, definitely not by, I mean, people keep electing governments

that don't like them. Like they really actively dislike teachers. Yeah, for whatever reason. Yeah, so it is uh it is a weird a weird one but like a good teacher is priceless right like my my kids have been lucky they've had really good teachers and you just think fuck me like it makes all the difference just to have a decent person as a teacher but then every once in a while um they get unlucky they'll have a year where their teacher isn't great and right you notice it

straight away you're just like this fucking person just doesn't understand my child or my child's needs or whatever and is just like you know not great and it's it's it's a tough one right because it because it changes around i guess maybe that's the big difference between health care you know like your doctors your doctor is your doctor right you don't really change doctors that much like i've had the same doctor that's really not the way um my my surgery doesn't work like that at all i just go in and see a doctor all right okay right like we have like we had like twice we have like a family doctor sort of thing see that's the thing for you guys it's a little different yeah it's going to be different on jersey yeah yeah no but even growing up when i

was in canada like we went to the same doctor does he get you mixed up because he's like he's like oh oh you're looking very bubbly today your hair's growing a little bit oh have you have you still been having the problem with the burping you still got your little burpees we we had a doctor when i was growing up but i that's what i'm saying is i think the system has changed so that you don't book an appointment with you can book with a specific doctor and they're like oh they're only in on tuesdays and thursdays because then they're at some other schedule they're doing some other thing right right i've never really had that before we've always sort of just had the same doctor you you make an appointment with that

doctor right and and you have like a backup doctor in case your doctor is just like not there but for the most part i'd say 90 of the time i see the same doctor like that's that's that's that's nice it's pretty good yeah i like it do you know what i've used this service where you can get doctors like on the internet right like deliveroo but it's like like deliveroo but a doctor doctoroo you make this this appointment, and it's like you go to the website when the appointment's about to start, and then you have a webcam chat with the doctor, and it's like you don't have to go into the surgery and everything. And I did that when I had COVID.

I did a phone appointment with the doctor. Right, right. So I've got this rash. Let me just hold it up to the webcam. Literally. I'm not kidding. That's what they're like, All right, just show me. It's close to my penis, but you can only really see it if I'm fully erect.

Now, let me just get myself erect here. Hang on a second. I guarantee you that happens. That must happen. I'm rubbing. Let me take a minute. Now, at what point does the doctor realize that this is not an appointment? You're just jerking off.

You're just jerking off to the webcam. I see the problem now. You can put it away. Just a second. No, you'll get a better view from this side. Oh my God. They thought you accidentally thought it was Omegle instead. Not a doctor. Oh shit. So, I mean, i i don't know like doctors um i guess people these days are told to but also are told not to and i've been told off for telling people to do this look at they can't help but google everything they're like uh pain in my lower back okay let me put that into google oh god i've got back rot could be could be thoracic cancer could be i wonder if i've got thoracic cancer or whatever you don't mean then they'll be like they'll go to the doctor they'll be like so i looked up the symptoms on the internet

and apparently i have um acute myelocarditis i've got double aids in the spine it's like quite the achievement so i think like hero you've got serious but self so i don't know how much of this is them the doctor sort of reassuring pay i'm sure there's a lot of reassuring because every time anyone goes to the doctor they think they have the worst thing in the world and the doctor is is it has to have this very clever way to diffuse your anxiety but also consider your your sickness in case you know in case it is real and severe when do you guys when when would you typically go to the doctor like what i mean well not right now i go if some if something's wrong and it ain't getting better like i generally wait yeah i i'm i'm a waiter as well i wait around too i don't

yeah i know i never rush in because i often think i'm not gonna i don't want to waste their time that's a big part of it it's embarrassing to go in for something that they go yeah that's you've just trod on a thumbtack that's that'll be fine you're like oh yeah yeah you do get people going in for fucking anything yeah and you see it i see people taking their kids to a and e because they've got a cold you know what i mean like yeah he's just really snuffly so why the fuck you and a and e like it's just awful kids bouncing off the walls and they're going in to see a accident an emergency so in some regards some people rush in some people rush to the wrong place they just need to make a gp appointment and some people don't go to the doctor when they really really should so yeah that's the hardest part i think of medicine some people really go at the right time

some but you wonder though i always wonder like some people's tolerance for pain and some people's tolerance for for especially when in certain countries like america you have just over the counter access to much stronger painkillers and much stronger medication than we do. When you say that, you can't get codeine over there, but you can buy it over here. Oh, can you? My dad always makes me bring codeine with me whenever I travel to the States.

He's like, get me some codeine. I was like, yeah, okay. I mean, he's not addicted. My dad is not addicted. I'm just saying it's something that he can't get over there, but we we can get over here weird anyway i i think it's i always worry i mean i went to the doctor because i had this like always i had this chest pain like for a long time and it wasn't getting any better and i was i wasn't sure it was heartburn but i felt like it was i felt like it was something i i just got worried about it um because it

wouldn't go away and i've been taking lots of rennies and i try i try to be like eating differently to like avoid heartburn and sitting up and stuff i don't know like not doing stuff that causes heartburn but it felt like it just wouldn't go away and it was just giving me this it was just getting worse and worse so and really annoying and so i went to the doctor and it was this old lady right old lady and she basically just looked at me and was like you're too young to have everything wrong with your heart just go away come back in a week if it's still giving you problems i had all that as well and then it turned out that um i had to have my gallbladder removed like they just like they

really just fobbed me off even though i was like in crippling pain like i had to go to a and e i was throwing up in a and e everything like twice and they're just like you're too young to for it to be a gallbladder so we're just not even going to check and then because the other thing i was trying to do with doctors was like double up because i need like sometimes i need to get. So I'm an old asthmatic. So I sometimes my I use the inhaler very infrequently, but sometimes I would need a replacement. I'd have to go to the doctor to get that right another time.

And also I have eczema on my hands sometimes. And sometimes that flares up when I need some like cream. And then also I'm allergic to nuts. And so every couple of years, epi pens expire because that's what they do apparently and so i have to get a replacement for them so i always try and like if i'm going to go to the doctor i'm always i'm always thinking well you know i might as well while i'm here also ask for these other four things right um but i remember one time i went and the doctor was like can i do one thing today and you have to book another appointment if you

want to come back for the other thing. And I was like, well, no, no, I just need a refill on the EpiPens. And they're like, can't do that. You have to come back for a separate appointment. Jesus. That just annoyed me. That felt like it was more than their job's worth.

That felt like the doctor was like, oh, my hands are tied, rules say, I can't be doing multiple. But you'd think that would be efficient, right? You'd be like, oh, wow, I wrote four pres four prescriptions today you think you'd be ticking some government boxes there right um one patient four prescriptions nice job but maybe that looks bad you know you wrote four prescriptions for this guy and you saw him for like five minutes like man oh man oh man yeah i don't know like like i don't like going to the doctor, but I will go if I'm in bad shape.

Like, I had the ear infection and I didn't know what I could take to alleviate those symptoms. So I thought I got to go to the doctor and maybe get some like antibiotics or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, that's when I'll go to the doctor. If I know I need sort of like antibiotics

or something that I just can't handle myself. There's a switch, isn't there, in us that is like, it's too much. It's like, for example, if someone's making a noise outside, you're like, if this gets any worse, I'm going to go out there and say something. Have you ever done that?

Well, yeah, I have a couple of times. Really? Only when it was like, it was worse than I expected it to be. Like I was like, it happened and it was like, I'm going to say, you know, it's like people making noise in the corridor or whatever. I was like,

I'm going to say something if they keep doing it. And then it would happen again. I'd be like, next time I'll say something. And then it happened again. I'd be like, one more time. Oh my God.

You've actually gotten to that point. I don't think I've ever been there. I've never done that. I have to, I have to get pretty worked up about it. Some people don't, some people are like zero to 60. Yeah. Boiling over. For me, I would, it would have to get pretty worked up about it. Some people don't. Some people are like zero to 60, like instantly boiling over with rage.

For me, it would have to be so utterly intolerable. But added to that, I would have to, it'd have to be super intolerable. Plus my wife would have to be like saying to me, if you don't do this, like the kids are going to be affected or something like that.

And then maybe I would go out and tell somebody to be quiet but like it was it would just be like it's so far from anything like my limit is so high for for like going out and confronting i think i've only done it a couple of times in my life i remember one time this is when me and mrs f is but way before the kids we were living in a flat and our neighbors at two in the morning started doing some drilling literally on the adjoining wall between our flats they were going like drilling i couldn't believe it and i mrs f was like are they drilling and i was like i think they are she's like you gotta go i've had that happening early as well like eight in the morning i hate that seven or eight in the morning and you're like well surely some people are gonna be still sleeping at seven or eight in the morning sometimes there's a neighbor

around here does diy 8 a.m on a sunday morning drilling in their garden it's like can you just fucking chill until like 10 or 11 like that that's when i'd do it. I'd be like, let's wait. You know, you don't want to start the fucking Sunday morning with a drill, but they do. So this guy was doing it. I didn't go around there. Mrs. F went over there and said, can you lads stop? And they were like, oh, sorry.

Yeah, no, we worked late. We just got in. I wasn't even thinking. They were really apologetic. I was like, oh, and I thought maybe it would work if you just went and asked people nicely. But I thought I'll send Mrs. F. And she went. she went I was a bad she had a tray of baked cookies like a peace offering no I think a lot of people don't realize they're being annoying at all and actually um I think the 2am

music usually people I've been guilty of it one time like i was i had music on with like bass or whatever i don't know for some what were you listening to i don't know i think you know what hoody and the blue fish i think i'd even like left it on in one of the other rooms while i was doing something in one of the other rooms like i don't know like i was doing a puzzle in one of the rooms and i i'd left the music on in the lounge i think when i was at my parents and and you know they were away and so it got to like 1am or 2am or something i got a polite letter from the neighbor saying shut the fuck you noticed you had your music all very loud late last night i was like so they hadn't come

around at the time but they'd obviously been aware of it up until the moment right it finally went off at like 2am or whatever and i think at the time i thought oh shit oops shouldn't have left this on but it was completely unintentional jimmy there wasn't and if they'd come round i would have been like oh shit i'm so sorry i think the issue is like if you're used to a lot of noise your tolerance for it is higher like i obviously grew up in new york which is a very loud city london i've lived here most of my life very loud so you just get used to it in a way like the planes the cars the neighbors the racket you know it just i just kind of zone it out after a while yeah but i think a lot of people who've come from somewhere quieter or live especially people that live somewhere quiet

any noise and they're like the curtains are twitching they're out there it's like they want to live in in a silent bubble and i you know, geez, there's millions of us. If you live in an apartment building, you have to expect clomping around on the ceiling and like weird clanking and noises. You have to expect this. It's so weird. When I go to visit my mum, the people upstairs,

you hear them thumping about and she's like, yeah, I'm making a racket. And that's like, I forgot. It's been so long since I lived in a flat. The idea of having people above me, it just freaks me out. You know what I mean?

I remember it, but it's just something I'm... It's so unfamiliar now. That is actually weird to me. Because I think of my house as being the place where I control the noise. Outside of it, well, it's London. It's going to be loud. But yeah, the people living above or below me and hearing them, that always, I don't know.

It kind of weirds me out. Even what was that? There was a classic story of the police calling, like, I can't quite remember, but of the police of the police being called to a noise complaint where they, they were like hearing all this, like, like yelling and like sweating and, well, I guess it was sweating, but in the end, but it just turned out it was like a fat guy doing we fit but he like made he made so much of a racket it was so unusual poor dude they thought someone was being murdered or whatever oh that's hilarious well he's just just trying to get his we fit on exactly and who can blame him you know yeah i mean i think that's one of those

things again that you don't need to it's not a long if it carries on you're gonna worry about it but that guy's doing Wii Fit once you know I mean every time I've done any of these things like the bloody um that ring ring fit have you seen that on the switch I did that like so I was like I am never doing this again is it exhausting Wii Fit ring fit so you've got this steering wheel which you can squeeze and it's like connected to the tv so you can squeeze it and it's quite hard to squeeze and you can shoot little rings at stuff with the ring right but also you'll get to a boss battle and in order to hit the boss you'll have to do 30 squats so it's like 30 squats and then squeeze the ring 20 times then 30 squats then squeeze the ring 20 times and i was like i i

fucking i i did that for like 20 minutes and i was like that is the most exercise i've ever done i'm i'm dead i was like sweating i was like crying nice the neighbors were like banging on the door it was awful i found beat saber exhausting when i had a go at that i was absolutely oh my god you're sweating like a like a dog as well like every time like you could someone plays beat saber and they're like oh do you want to go and you're like no fucking way have you seen how sopping wet this vr helmet is you've used it well i mean i think the last jingle jam when we were so this would have been the 2019 jingle jam we did uh dance dance revolution whatever you have to dance along to the i think i did it with mousy sure and i i think i did uh

born this way by lady gaga rings the bell and i was huffing after that i was like right in your chest you know that sort of ache when you've done real exercise i was fucking exhausted the lung muscles never get that workout. So you're just aching. I was like, this is a game? Fucking ridiculous. My heart rate gets going playing Tarkov, let alone anything else. Christ.

I'm not sure that's a real workout, though. I think that's just fake adrenaline. Oh, yeah, it's adrenaline, dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. oh yeah it's adrenaline dude oh yeah yeah oh my god well i i i i went through this sort of period of doing beat saver every day for like a couple of weeks and i was i was enjoying it but man i was i could do it for like 20 minutes and then i would just be just soaked in sweat well

that's what they isn't it isn't that the thing they say that uh a shorter more intense exercise is as good if not better than running for like two hours or something that you burn the same amount well it was then again the exercise was just be flailing my arms around it's still calories in there i guess i mean if you it depends if you're looking to stay a skinny skinny little runt or if you want to beef up and be a chad it's up to you i don't know i've been growing like i've been really letting myself go slovenly on the old lady it's still everyone's in the same i've got i've grown i grew like a big beard like well i'm happy to say i'm the complete opposite actually i've uh ripped i'm just i don't know what i've been doing oh yeah is that why that that belly of yours that you were telling us at

the start of the podcast you look down you're like oh god what do i do with my life that's a big one thing is like i i shaved off i was like i was finally pissed off with my beard last night so i shaved off like my my face completely and shaved off your face my whole face you've gone too far and jeez i looked at my face in the mirror and i was like my god my head is like shorter than i realized and my cheeks are all fab flabby and i'm like oh i'm like old lewis again yeah i might i put a when i put a mask on now my face and my head have gotten so fat during all this it's like i'm i put a face mask on to go outside and it's like uh like a postage stamp over my uh like on my my face like

there's just too much flesh like on either side it looks small well people are like use of use a few more masks you have fat-headed yeah i know i gotta use like three masks oh my god i'm i uh you fat-headed that's brutal oh well um i don't know how we're gonna fix i don't think we're ever gonna fix it um what no i don't want to go outside i don't want to eat differently i don't want i don't want to make any changes me too i don't i don't even want to exercise i'm so reluctant i know i have to a bit so like i've been walking and people laugh at me they're like fucking walking what the fuck like you don't bench press or whatever no i don't they like i don't want to be with the car i don't want to do any of that shit

is so boring it's bad enough that i even have to do that let alone like anything else fuck it you know you know the number one people that tell you that they're you need to do more exercise are sat in fucking twitch chat all day in bed, big fat-headed cunts just lying in bed. Bellies hanging out. Oh, do some exercise, fat bastard. While snogging on a fucking massive meat pie. So fucking ignore them. You're right about that.

I love your idea of what they are. That's not what... They're on a jog with a phone, and they're watching Twitch chat on their phone while they're jogging that's what they're doing they're not snogging down a meat pie

in bed that's what they're doing that is the entirety of Twitch chat right now and everyone listening to this podcast is lying completely prone

with a small metal chute feeding the Maltesers and they're just lying there and they're thinking it's fantastic like Wallace and Grobbets they're lie in there and they're thinking, it's working out. Their belly is just inflating around. I think I could relate.

That's a mood, really. That's 2020 mood right there. 2021. It's 2021 now. You can't say 2020 mood. Nobody's in 2020. Aren't they? It's continuing. The mood is that everything's

continuing this is the post-credit scene of 2020 that we are living through right now this is setting up the next movie so this is you've got to wait till the end of the credits we're not there yet it's still crazy shit happening they think they found another strain of the virus somewhere in brazil and everyone's like this one could be even worse. So, yeah, the post-credits scene at the end, Nick Fury's going to fucking turn up and be like, get Captain Marvel up here. Get that bitch over here now. And that's the end of the movie.

And at that point, we're waiting for Captain Marvel to save us. Get that bitch over here right now. Is that how they refer to him in the movies? That is MCU canon. They refer to him in the movies that is mcu canon they they refer to capital captain marvel as a bitch yeah even her friends yeah oh i just i read an article this morning by the way um that positive news uh the over 50s are rushing to book holidays as the vaccine has boosted their confidence so i think because my dad got the jab and i could imagine my dad and my mom being like well he's off they're off to marbs they just can't fucking contain themselves any longer they're going they're like we've been we've been

looking forward to our trip to marbella now for too long and now that we're vaccinated fuck all of you we're going let's get all those old folks working in the hospitals and stuff now they're all immune let's get let's get them delivering stuff maybe the old people are going to be like the way we we get together you know grandparents they come and pick their kids up and take them take the families out fucking hopefully not i mean most people spend all their time trying to avoid these people in the first place to then for those people to then become like instrumental in day-to-day logistics and stuff like that would be a nightmare all right so before they go on holiday this is something i spotted the other the other week this is this is from a bbc world service poll

so these are the countries around the world that hate us the most and the countries around the world that like us the most. All right. So what do you think the top five countries on this list are for negative opinion of Britain? France? Nope. Belgium? Nope. America? No. Oh, China. China is not in the top five, but 26% of Chinese people don't like the British. I suspect because of Hong Kong. It's got to just be old colonies, right? No, no, no. Not at all. Not at all.

Really? Oh, I'm surprised then. So I'll give you some clues. Think of a country that we most recently had a war with. Iraq? No, no, no. Like us literally declaring war on someone. Okay.

Iraqis hate the British. I'm actually- Iraqis hate them. I'm talking about a country that we declared war on, like just us and just them. Like the last actual just us and just them war. Argentina. Argentina. 39% of Argentinians do not like the British.

Holy crap. Number two on the list think of a country where we own a bit of it right and we probably go on holiday there a lot no not not ireland spain spain yeah they hate us because we holiday on all of their fucking places and are horrible tourists think of another country that dislikes us perhaps i would have thought that spain would love Britain, just for the fact that the British probably support their entire tourism industry. Right, but they also, who loves tourists, dude?

Like, it's like a necessary evil if you're based in tourism. Everybody that works in tourism hates the tourists. And if most of the tourists just want to go, where's the Irish pub? I want to get a fry up. Fuck Spanish food. I'm not even going to learn the lingo, mate. just get drunk and smash everything up that's why they hate us all right number three it's pakistan which i was surprised by it's like that's a that's all colonial throwback stuff though right maybe pakistan india and everything so think of a country that we've also fought a

war against this actually quite surprised me a country another country perhaps two of the biggest wars that have ever been fought who have we not fought a fucking twice yeah but this is recently jesus it's germany germany 34 of people in germany said they don't like the british and fifth on the list is turkey the turks don't like us really yeah i'm surprised by that i was kind of surprised honestly surprised now think of the five countries that like us the most. Who do you think number one on the list is? Like us the most? Canada.

Canada is number two. Okay. Australia. Number one must be Denmark. No, number one is the United States. Jesus. What? 81%.

Of course, they think we're cute. 81% of Americans like British people. Number three on the list, Ghana. Of course. Okay. Number four on the list, Ghana. Of course. Number four on the list, Kenya. Yeah, I can see that. And then South Korea, Australia, and then you'll be surprised, France. France likes us more than we like ourselves.

We are eighth on the list. 23% of people in the UK have a negative opinion of the UK. I mean, there's been a lot of beef over the years with France as well. I'm surprised. I would have thought that they just didn't like the British at all. Anyway, Iran, Ireland. Yes, Iran and Ireland don't like us. But they, for some reason, don't appear on this poll.

I think because it's just everybody knows it would be like 100 fucking percent. Iran really doesn't like us. No, Iran. Yeah, Iran. I don't think Iran like anyone, though, right? Dude, the Ayatollah Khomeini said we were worst in America. That's how much they hate us. Jeez.

Israel, it's decent, but our history in that region is not good because of the Palestinians. I think our history in all of these regions isn't great. I mean, the opium wars in China. I know, we've been awful. Overthrowing the sheik in bloody Iran and stuff. I mean, we've done some pretty rough stuff over the years. Politically, in the past hundred years anyway, or longer. I mean, we've evaded just about everywhere on the globe at some point.

Yeah, there's a very small list of places that we haven't it's a very small list we were still thinking about them though you know they're on the list think about it yeah so we we don't want to make wish we don't forget about them anyway that's enough podcast for today that's a little bit longer than we're used to but thank you for listening everyone please don't invade anywhere please look after yourself yes try to and yeah no invasions and be good to each other stay frosty go fuck yourselves all the good all that good stuff maybe treat yourself to a little something that you haven't had a little chocolate bar have a chocolate bar don't you know what um i think we've had enough chocolate don't you lewis it's just been christmas like everybody's probably

just sat around and ate like fucking 20 gallons of um chocolate treat yourself something weird that you like maybe you like chowing down on a block of cheese eat an apple you know what lewis if you're getting a lot of heartburn may i recommend i know i'm not a doctor and you shouldn't take my word but can i recommend something that works for me with heartburn an apple a day baby just one apple per day i i feel like you have an apple is the last thing that you eat in a day, baby. Just one apple per day. I feel like have an apple is the last thing that you eat in a day. Okay. So like you eat your dinner, maybe like six, seven o'clock at night, have an apple. I bet you, I bet you it'll help.

What time do you have your dinner? I don't know, like six. Dessert, an apple for dessert. It's a healthy outlook. Well, not even for dessert. I mean, have a dessert if you want to. I have, I just have one apple at night. Like maybe with like, I'll have like some if you want to. I just have one apple at night. Like maybe I'll have like some tea or something and then I'll have an apple.

And if an apple is the last thing I eat in a day, I will not get heartburn at night. There you go. I don't know how it works or why. Well, also, it turns out that you're not eating between 7 p.m. and 1 a.m. Well, that helps as well. I stop eating at past a certain point yeah that's one of the things that you're supposed to do i do sometimes have a late night cheese plate right i've never understood that late late night or middle of the night eating i've never ever done

that i've never understood about midnight maybe maybe half 12 if i half 12 if I'm going to stay up late. Okay, but have you ever woken up from a deep sleep and then been like, man, I'm hungry and gone downstairs and started eating? No, no, no, no. No, I never have either. But people do, right? Some people do. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But if I finish streaming and I'm going to watch a movie or some extended thing on YouTube, I'll get a little cheese plate. Get a little cheese plate. Get a little cheese plate going there. Nice. What do you put on the cheese? Is it just cheese or do you have some crackers and stuff? I have some crackers, some cheese, some grapes, some apples maybe to go with that. Like a little cheese plate. Oh, that's nice. What about like a bit of chutney on there? I'm not a chutney fan. Oh man. You know what? Next time you do a cheese plate, Flax, I know like I'm not like a restaurateur or like a foodie or anything like that. What I find is when I have a cheese plate flax i know like i'm not like a restaurateur or like a foodie or anything like

that what i find is when i have a cheese plate if it's the last thing i eat uh like of an evening maybe like seven eight o'clock at night or whatever i'll get a bit of cheese on there uh some crackers like you said maybe some grapes or some apple slices or something and then just like a little just a dollop of some chutney you know some sweet like i said i don't like i don't like chutney all right well maybe it's time you need to find a chutney you like maybe it's no no i've tried a lot to accept chutney into your life i've tried a lot of chutneys i refuse to accept chutney into my life it's all right but it you know doesn't do it you just like the dry taste of the cheese i i love to have if i'm having a thing i like to taste that thing i just want the very best for you and i

feel like you're missing out by not liking chutney, you know I just feel like it could be better. You sound just like Mrs. F She likes chutney and she's always trying to get Oh, sorry Save that for the weekend Word for word Oh god

God, that roleplay took a weird turn anyway. It did, didn't it? Thanks everybody. Thank you very much. And God bless you all. That was a grand time. Love you. Have a good week. Goodbye.

See you soon.