Triforce! - Triforce! #164: Do YOU Know Any of These Celebrities?!

Episode Date: February 17, 2021

Triforce! Episode 164! Lewis has had enough of memeing explorers, Sips realises Wu-Tang Clan are old as hell and Pyrion's been going DEEP into Masked Singer! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everyone. Good morning. Good afternoon. Welcome to the Stray Fools podcast. We're back. So glad to have you back. Holy crap, we're back. It's wonderful to be here. It's actually the coldest day ever in the UK. Okay, listen. It's so fucking cold outside today. I walked my kids to school.

I didn't wear gloves. I didn't even wear pants. You normally wear shorts. I wore shorts, yeah. Because I always wear them. Did you wear shorts today? I always wear them. And the school's like two minutes away, right?

So it's just not worth getting changed to go. And, you know, my legs getting cold isn't really a problem. But my hands were so cold when I got back. I washed my hands because, you know, hygiene, also COVID, you know, you just, I just, we just wash our hands every time we enter the house now. I go to wash my hands. And, you know, when you turn the taps on and the water runs cold for a while before it heats up or whatever? Right.

That cold water was warm on my hands. Like my hands actually warmed up a bit with the cold water. So let me just understand. You actually wore shorts outside today. So, okay, Sips is like a polar explorer. Okay, he walks out of his house basically naked. That's not what polar explorers do this is why scott of the antarctic died because he thought well he was wearing shorts yeah wore shorts up you know what

no but he's he's you know what they were dressed like they were all i'm sure they were all dressed like properly in further stuff but i can imagine you coming back with like the beard full of icicles no no i mean come on it was it's like minus three here this morning it wasn't like too bad freezing i know it's cold you canadians and the cold you're like oh listen it's a two minute walk up to the school it's like it's a two minute walk like it takes no time at all there's not even really enough time to get cold my hands like i said my hands were cold my legs were not cold uh there's no point in putting on uh like you know jeans or whatever because i just had my shorts on anyway and also what about like you know women who wear like skirts and dresses to work and they wear stockings okay but still like i mean i

got leg hair like tons of it so that's got to count for something i would i would love it if your leg hair was as thick as a pair of stockings, just like a luxuriant carpet of hair. Well, I mean, it's a decent covering. And that has like little beardy icicles in it. Yes, yes. Yeah, like little ice balls forming on my pubis. You know Sir Ranulf Fiennes, the explorer, who, as far as I can tell... Not personally, no, but... explorer who as far as i can tell personally no but okay i as far as i can tell he calls himself

an explorer but pretty sure we've we found everything on the surface of the earth um that isn't underwater so i guess he's just like one of these like well i'm gonna do it in a week because nobody's done it that short before you know yeah one of those guys don't don't talk to me unless you're planning on you know exploring the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean which nobody's been to yet come on it's been done we just fly over there you're born in the wrong generation all of it's been done already like your your job now is to figure out ways to get either off the planet more efficiently um to explore other lands or um you need to you need to explore under the ocean and find the aliens that live down

there that are controlling our brains and stuff because we've we everything else is done right i mean i believe it's everything it's been it's been found but there are there is i know there's some some jungle areas where like they they still occasionally find the the old undiscovered tribe sort of thing yeah but they're not like properly undiscover undiscovered. Like, we know they're there. We just haven't talked to them. Man, I wonder if they've ever been to the bottom of Titicaca. Like, that's a big one. What's Titicaca?

It's a massive lake in South America. I'm sure they have. That's not even that deep, is it? I wonder if there's any point, though. Like, I wonder who decided one day, like, you know what, boys? That's it. Fuck it. We're going to the bottom of Titicaca. Like, you know what I mean? I just can't, I can't see it.

Isn't it Lake Baikal is like, I can't remember, it's a very large percentage of the Earth's fresh water is in this lake. Like it's like 20% or something stupid. It's so big. I'm pretty sure they've mapped a lot of that. What's the one that feeds the, what's the one that feeds the Nile? Isn't it like, isn't it, what's it called lake victoria victoria i think i don't know how that one works but surely they've renamed it surely they don't call it lake victoria i mean that was clearly our idea like yeah that was that was a what do you call this lake and the guy's like oh uh we call that one and he's like because it's called lake victoria

it's like a like a colonial power move back in the day just renaming yeah it's called different names in other countries nam lolway there you go or uke railway maybe they can't decide what they want to call it so that's why i think it's more so that the the people that named uh those places in the first place are the like originating people of those places and uh everybody around there probably knew it as that for like thousands of years or whatever i think it's and the british showed up and said let's name it victoria like we name everything else and didn't the don't the french have a different name for the the channel they call it something else right yeah they call it the squeeze or something. So you could say the same thing about the English Channel,

that, you know, different people that are next to it have different names for it. Well, yeah, I mean, like, in French, like, okay, the St. Lawrence River in Canada is Le Fleuve Saint-Laurent, which is, like, a little bit different, you know? Like, they wouldn't say Lawrence, for example. They would say Laurent, and spelled differently as well. But it's a name, so it should be spelled the same, but it's different. I mean, it's just every country has their own, you know, language and way of referring to something.

It's called La Monge. Like not everybody calls it the moon, for example. What do they call it? Tony. La Lune. And then in Spanish, it's probably like El Muno or whatever, you know. Yeah. El Muno. In Poland, it's probably like el mundo or whatever you know yeah in poland it's probably the moonski i like you know i'm not i'm not racist at all i'm just saying like everybody's got this like i think jellyfish is one of those things isn't it like we call it

jellyfish but everyone else in the like calls it a medusa in every other language like courgette uh zucchini um aubergine eggplant like you know there's there's always different words for so that's the same thing so so ranul finds i want to i want to talk about his fingers he went to he went to the either the north or south pole they're both very cold he walked across the south pole and he went up everest when he was 70 something you're right So he did one of these missions that he set himself. The first person to completely cross

Antarctica on foot. There you go. So when they were doing that, at one point, I think they had to get their GPS thing out and they couldn't work it with their gloves on.

So he had to take a glove off just for a tiny bit to get this thing working and then put his glove back on. And in that short time, he got frostbite and lost. That's why his hands are all fucked up from that like he's got stumpy little ends of fingers because he lost a lot of frostbite now as we're talking about exploration and how let's be honest just saying i was the first one to do it on foot i mean is that worth losing your fingers for

and if so what motivates someone to the point where for the rest of their life they're going to essentially have a disability that they only have because they did this stupid well i don't think you intended it but you know there's going to be risks when you do these things yeah you know there's going to be risks okay is it worth you losing your finger for it nowadays like if it was the first thing you ever explored maybe you know you might get like you might get like some big ups like you're killing it kings on like the net or whatever like twitter or whatever like now you're you're so intrepid you're fucking killing it bro out there exploring everything but like back then you know what i mean like hey guys i found a new lake fuck you there's no lakes you know what i mean like they they didn't

want to find anything back then they were just like when they were not interested back when we were discovering everything it was just like we were discovering so much this is where the dragons live don't go there you know like it was just like i don't think you would get like the you know you're killing it kings like back then um you know like i think i think people would have thought that you were some sort of uh magician or maybe a witch or something who discovered like where the dragons live maybe in the dark got some big ups they were meeting the queens columbus was like how many things are named after eventually they were eventually but like remember when the vikings discovered like the when they discovered england for the first time the other vikings were like what the fuck are you guys doing you can't fucking

go on the sea loki will kill you and you know what i mean like they were they were not having it that was a long time ago they changed that's what i'm talking about it's i mean it's changed but like rano rano finds was this was like this century or last oh i know i know that's what i'm saying like it's probably okay nowadays oh i see i'm just saying like back then i don't think it would have been worth it because i think most people have just been like fucking serves you right for going into the dragon's den or whatever you know but nowadays it's like fingers off dude nowadays it's like well fuck i've never left my house before because i just play games all day so this guy going outside well you know it's a bit different well i actually totally get what you're saying, P-Flex. If the only thing left was visit the South Pole carrying a washing machine,

do you know what I mean? If that was like, I was the first person to visit the South Pole with a cat. And it's such a dumb record. That's what we've got to though yeah because the the spirit of those explorers that wanted to go out and do that stuff is obviously it's a human spirit it's it's alive in people but when there's nothing left to explore on earth they have to come up with like guinness world record style i was the first to visit the bottom of the mariana trudge whilst juggling you You know, like you said, that's literally what it's going to be.

But then they do other things too. And they're like, these are the first juggling balls at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. The first juggling ball and the second juggling ball and the third juggling ball. I was the first man to meme at the bottom of Lake Titicaca. The first Zoom conversation at the bottom of Titicaca. The first Zoom conversation at the bottom

of Titicaca. We've got the first 3G wireless internet connection connected to a phone at the bottom of Lake Titicaca. It just keeps going

like these dumb continuous garbage. It's actually the second tweet that came from the bottom of the Lake Titicaca because that was done on the expedition of Renolf Fiaz and his cat when they went down there in 1700.

It's like, fuck, why do we know this? Why do we need to know all this? My experience memeing at the bottom of Lake Titicaca. Read more. And then there's a link to a big notepad document or something like that. The sad thing is that that kind of stuff would be the the last bulletin on the news and it would only be the regional news so it would be like and now on anglia tonight you know here we uh randall fines managed to uh take poo at the bottom of a

hill that i actually read a news article that was like kind of interesting for once and a little bit upbeat for once as well it was on bbc news and it was the story about a 117 year old woman who lived to see her 117th birthday after overcoming covid shout out yeah shout out to her 117 years old i mean that's crazy that is nuts that's the kind of shit i want to hear that's too old that is too but that's interesting like it's interesting enough to be newsworthy it's it's a lot more interesting than the rest of the garbage that they shovel down do you reckon at that age you're just so wrinkled and wizened oh my god you're basically a statue okay think about how sore your knees are right now like you like you're not even 40 yet lewis i'm just 40 it's like covid goes into

their system and it's like it's like these veins are filled with dust we can't penetrate this oh man by the way i'm not saying and we're not saying that we shouldn't go exploring and adventuring and do stuff i feel like like, I feel like there's, there's, we, we're living in a world though, where there's not much to explore. If you like that,

we we've mapped the world with satellites. We know what's going on. You know, obviously the solar system, if someone goes to Mars, the first man on Mars, that'll be a pretty big achievement. That's amazing.

Yeah. I mean, we've already sent like technology to Mars though. Like they have mapped a bit of Mars already. You know what mean as much as they can well i think you know there's quite a lot of satellites around quite a lot of things that probes have been sent over taking a lot of pictures we have a very good idea of what's what's there yeah yeah but we haven't seen the secret cloning vats like beneath the surface we can't penetrate the crust just yet but man once we do and we blow that baby open oh shit watch out would you like i mean would you have wanted to live in the great age of explorers

when people were like going to new guinea and exploring the jungles not really because they were going to these places they were turning up and they were like crippled with disease and stuff like it was just like not it was not a great time it don't get me wrong it must have been exciting but news traveled very slowly back then so like maybe once in your lifetime you would hear about this kind of stuff and even then you wouldn't understand it too much because you're probably like peasant folk or whatever there were no no pictures either no exactly and they have located it just wasn't it just wasn't that glamorous or glorious at all because they would turn up and they would start mingling with the people

from these other continents and they would just swap diseases instantly because neither of them had immunity to each other's regional diseases or whatever. And everybody would just die and be... You know what I mean? I wouldn't want to live during that time at all. As exciting as maybe it would be sometimes, it would be miserable most of the time well i think i think the um like

i think i think there was just there's certain people i mean obviously ran off finds is this guy who was originally some sort of baronet wasn't he and you know his actual name is ran off twistleton wickham finds fuck off man so he's one of these people with yeah he's one of these people who's ran off Twisselton Wickham Fines. Fuck off. Is it actually? Yeah, he's one of these people who's always been in this sort of great aristocratic family. His name is Twisselton Wickham. His father was, you know, Lieutenant Colonel Sir Ranolf Twisselton Wickham Fines. Do you know what I mean? And he was a commander of the Royal Grey, Royal Scots Greys.

And so he has this history of adventure, really of being a sort of i don't know kind of i guess a old school macho kind of epic man of doing things and doing marathons and exploring and leading people to looking thing looking at things and going up and kind of kind of just like it's like having i've been on a gap year and going to peru except you're doing it as a job yeah it's like it's like what we've done with playing games and turned it into a job on YouTube and Twitch. But he did it with, like, fun stuff, you know, and being a hero. I mean, it's got to feel pretty good to be a hero and take a hovercraft up the Nile and fucking go, you know, or climb a glacier in Norway, you know. I mean, there's got to be some camaraderie as well between, like, the crew of of like big army men that you break like like the sas men that you take up there and stuff um

but man like i i i think that he must know the dangers and the risks he must have encountered these things finds and like known that he might have gone frostbite it actually says here he attempted to in 2000 he attempted to walk solo and unsupported to the North Pole, but his sleds fell through some ice and he had to pull them out by hand, which is when he sustained severe frostbite to the tips of all of his fingers on his left hand. I saw it. He was on a breakfast, like one of the breakfast Good Morning Britain things, and that was when he told the story about how he had to take his glove off to do the gps so okay so the wikipedia is wrong in fact well no or i'm wrong let's be quite honest well i may have misremembered it anyway say something about a glove on returning

home something about gps i swear did he did he tell this on returning home his surgeon insisted that the necrotic blackened fingertips be retained for several months before amputation, allowing as much regrowing of remaining healthy tissue as possible. But, impatient at the pain the dying fingertips caused, he cut them off himself with an electric fret saw. Oh, jeez. My God. Jesus Christ.

It takes a certain kind of man To do that doesn't it What about that dude that cut his own leg off Because it was trapped in a boulder He didn't have a choice This is in the year 2000 Guys I mean can you imagine Just being such In year 2000

And a baron Sir Ranulph finds Going into your garage and being like Oh this is really annoying. No, no, no. Here's what happened. He's sitting there with his wife watching telly. They're watching Strictly.

And he's like, these blasted fingers. Oh, just the doctor said to leave them alone, Sir Ranulph. Wickham, Twisselton, Fiennes. These blasted fingers. I'm going to the shed. No, don't do it. I'm going to the shed. Woman, don't follow me.

Make me a cup of tea. And he went to the shed. And she heard, ah, conk, ah't do it. I go to the shed woman. Don't follow me make me a cup of tea and he went to the shed and she heard clunk Clunk and then he came back in with his fingers there send those to the blasted doctor if you also look after them kiss My god, that's like me how much have I missed what am I? Is she still dancing? I hate that woman.

Has Claudia spoken yet? Get her bloody haircut. Oh my god. That fringe is ludicrous. It's fucking stupid, isn't it? She looks like fucking Joey Ramone. Like, does she not have a fucking mirror? It's crazy. Dude, what the fuck is she doing? Listen to me. If you're going to have a go at Claudia Winkleman, you're going to anger an awful lot of people. Really?

Including Mrs. F. Don't go including mrs f don't go there buddy don't go there sorry i mean i'm just saying like i mean she do you know what i don't really like watch anything with her in it so like she doesn't really you know either way but every time i see her i just think like she's just gonna bust out blitzkrieg bop or something you know like it just i find she just has like that mop you know the ramones mop requires a lot of upkeep yeah it's really it's it's the it's it's lockdown it's caused it to get out of control all these celebrities have got no idea of what they look like anymore because they're not dressed in the same way every day by the same person you know yeah can i can we are talking of tv shows and celebrities i i uh i was skeptical about the TV show Masked Singer when it came out.

Oh, I've seen that. I've heard of it. Let me tell you, I love this show. I love it. The only thing I heard about it is that it's kind of like a shit reality TV show where people sing in costumes. It is. It's like guilty pleasure bad TV, isn't it? It's not great.

It's actually pretty bants, and it's very funny. And what happens is they have the celebrities, like nine or ten of them or something, and they have these costumes on, and genuinely no one knows who they are apart from like a handful of senior executives at ITV or whoever's in charge of the show. The presenters don't know.

The panelists don't know. There's no leaks. It's like when they go anywhere in the studio, they're in costume. They are not approachable. Like you do not know who these people are because otherwise people would be, you know, nowadays be on their fucking phone

snapping it and leaking it. Sure, sure. So when you see the unveiling, the fun of it is that you get, as the audience you're watching and they give clues about who it might be and they'll talk about their past and you know i'm someone who's perhaps used you know to to not show in their face and they sort of modulate their voice and everything yeah when you get one right

it's a good feeling let me tell you there was this one lenny henry has already gone out this season and i was like that's fucking lenny henry i know that's lenny henry and of course it was lenny henry it was just it was It was unmistakable. Was he just making jokes that weren't funny the whole time and that was the giveaway? Well, he could have been on this podcast. Yeah, true. The songs he chose to sing

and the way he sang was very obviously Lenny Henry. But Sue Perkins of Great British Bake Off fame and Mel and Sue fame, she was great. She could really sing beautifully. I mean, it's all right when it's somebody that you know. But the problem is with those shows is they try to get a lot of people on to make the show go on for longer.

And then you end up with Boris Johnson's sister and stuff. And it's like, okay, I i'm never gonna guess who this is because i don't fucking know who this is you know what i mean like you're absolutely right and i think that was obviously i think that was a that's a classic pitfall in you know turning on like celebrity big brother and wondering am i just watching normal big brother because i don't know any of these people and all of those celebrity shows the way they work is there's like one or two big ticket celebrities uh that kind of like carry the the rest of the show right it's like it doesn't even have to be like a big ticket it just has to be someone with a big reputation yeah someone that you fucking may

have well have heard of yeah and then and then a bunch of other people that you've never heard of or they're like extras on holly oaks or something like that and it's just like okay i have no idea who this is Yeah the mask singer Had to pick people who Because they can't have it when someone takes The mask off and no one fucking Knows who they are And it's Johnny

Bilbo he's the star Of Misfits on Channel 4 He's a mate of mine So here are the People from the first series You fucking dissing Johnny Bilbo you son of a bitch Patsy Palmer Who was on EastEnders

That was Bianca right Alan Johnson former MP He might even still be an MP Justin Hawkins who was the lead singer of the Darkness I believe it On the Mask singer He went out in the third week He was not particularly good I don't think he's a very good singer where did they go on the mask singer yeah yeah he went out in the third week like he did not do

he was not particularly good I don't think he's a very good singer Teddy Sheringham Teddy Sheringham legendary England footballer okay so far so good I actually know

who all these people are so Khalees you know my milkshake and all that Skin I've heard of her I don't know what she looks like

okay I've heard of her as well Skin who was the singer for Skunk and Antsy who were around in the 90s if you remember them no idea oh I think I've I think I've I think I recognize her as well skin who was the singer for skunk and antsy which were around in the 90s you remember them no idea oh i think i've i think i've i think i recognize her as well yeah yeah bald jake shears who is the lead singer of the scissor sisters right denise van outen yeah

everything right she she was excellent silo green yeah silo green yeah we all know right katherine jen, the opera singer. She was excellent. Jason Manford, who is apparently a comedian. I have never heard of him. I don't know who Katherine Jenkins is. Oh, Jason, is he like a northern guy? Or is he like a...

I don't think so. He kind of looks like a budget McIntyre. He's like budget McIntyre. Yes, yeah, I know who you... Jason Manford's great. Yeah, I know who he is. But you can say, not that actual McIntyre also represents value for money because I hate him too But what I'm saying is Manfred is like a budget version of something. I also don't like

I don't like that much but he does have his moments. He can be fine and Nick Nicola Roberts who was a singer with A crime of what group she was in, but she was incredible. She was in Girls Aloud. She was so fucking good. Which one is she? The Irish one? She's the redhead. Oh, the redhead.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. But she was brilliant. Sure. I mean, that's fair enough. But I feel like that every season would not be like that. And that's not really star-studded. Fair enough.

It's people that I know. I think that's a lot star-studded they're they're fair enough it's people that i i know like i'm not even i think that's a lot better than it's a lot better than most celebrity yeah yeah yeah like i'm a celebrity get me out of here's like an average season of that show that cast absolutely blows it out of the water like i mean they're not gonna get fucking tom cruise on you know what i mean you've got to get a celebrity that's that's not busy which is quite difficult if they're mega mega popular and famous but equally they have this is the other tricky bit they have to be able to sing or at least reasonably they can't just turn up and go and I will always love you you know you'd never get like your Tom Cruise or or like or somebody

like that on a show like that because because, um, they've had these successful careers that they're just sort of like, either still going with, or they've just, they, they've completely retired and they're not just, they're just not doing anything anymore. Right. Um, whereas a lot of these people, uh, like, especially if like you're on a soap or something, you might be on on a on a big soap for like a couple of years or whatever but then when you're written out you're like okay well i still need to work i guess like i mean it's not i'm not comfortable enough to really just stop working right now yeah um it must be kind of hard to like find work you know because everybody recognizes

you like especially like bianca from eastenders like i don't think i've seen her in anything else and it's probably because everybody just knows there's bianca from eastenders like i don't think i've seen her in anything else and it's probably because everybody just knows there's bianca from eastend yeah it's tough it's like joey from friends you know like exactly he's never gonna get another job other than being joey on friends i mean you know the weird thing is like um ross on friends right yeah he went on to do a couple of things like he was he's actually a good actor he's a good actor he's been in other stuff yeah yeah so anyway we got Sophie Ellis Baxter. She went out in week one.

Then Mel B of the Spice Girls. Oh, wow. Wait, this is the same season? All these people? This is second season. Oh, this is second season, right. Martine McCutcheon, formerly of EastEnders. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lots of Tiffany from EastEnders. This is like a who's who of my fucking 90s. Yeah, it is, yeah. Jesus. No, this is the thing. These are all people who probably peaked in the 90s haven't done anything since and now need these shows to like right right either make a comeback or just have something to do so number four will surprise you glenn hoddle was on it

glenn hoddle the footballer and former manager england manager he was he was a giant grandfather clock which was bizarre right i have heard of him john thompson who i know him he was on the far show yeah john thompson yeah he was like a kind of uh he was he was sort of like the tom the tom size more of like the fast show right he was just like not like a leading character he'd recognize him you would stuff like he's so much stuff so He's funny. He's very funny. So this will get you. Viking, that was the costume, Morton Harkett of A-Ha, and he sang Take On Me

as Viking, so you didn't know who it was, but people were saying, it's Morton Harkett, it's Morton Harkett. But it wasn't a very good version of Take On Me, because he's quite old now. Yeah, that's the thing, eh? He tried his best, but it just wasn't particularly good. He must have been playing it for 30 years at events and gigs and stuff and as a result it kind of i mean that's what rick hasley's doing apparently rick hasley is still massively popular for like his his old target

demographic who are now older still like go out in droves to his concerts and stuff and it's just like lots of people go for the mean like you just you know same old shit and they love him i reckon it's probably like a big it's probably like a massive like old people group in a massive young people group it's like me going to see the wu-tang like even though like for me for me wu-tang's this like legendary hip-hop group and stuff i was watching one of those things on youtube where it was like you know kids try to guess who the artist is or whatever or kids kids react to the 90s or something like that and they were playing a bunch of wu-tang tracks and like nobody knew who they were because i guess they just like well grew up listening to different hip-hop and stuff yeah yeah um but it was like so surprising it was like one of the lowest ones it was like two percent or

something it's like the only person who guessed was this girl who was, like, oh, I love hip hop. I'm so into it. And, like, knew, like, all of, like, the older, like, old school acts and stuff. But it's crazy to think that even Wu-Tang now is kind of, like, old school. I always respect that. What the hell? Like, I mean, the thing is, like, we see this every day when we ask Twitch chat, you know, does anyone know this? And there will always be some fucker who, like was a thing tom posted um on his twitter um he's been posting a

dice of the day and so tom collects dice and he's got like a million really fucking weird dice like some of them have got like there's like a um it's like a madness dice for example it's got like different kinds of madness on it and you roll it and it's like oh your character now has schizophrenia or it has um you know some weird mental illness frozen for paradise it sounds like a cthulhu role-playing game dice it is i think anyway he's got all these crazy dice and he posted this one and um it was like a star wars dice from a from some star wars game and of course there's been about 25 different star wars board games in the last 25 years there's been about 25 different you know star wars role-play games and 25 different star wars board games in the last 25 years. There have been about 25 different, you know,

Star Wars role play games and 25 different Star Wars miniatures games, you know, and so there's this vast mess. And so Ben obviously has played almost all of them and was like, oh, I think it's from this. But then someone else on Twitter was like, no, Ben, it's from this. And it was like, damn, son. It always impresses me how some people have that like amazing knowledge and i guess that's where um i guess that was the idea behind like pointless you know the tv show

where yeah i guess you know in that case sips what you've created is a pointless answer the wu-tang clan i mean it's upsetting in some ways, though, because they were so relevant. Like when I was, you know, a teenager and stuff like that, you know, everybody knew who they were. They were like this big, hot, you know, amazing band stuff. And to an extent, like if you're into hip hop, like you most definitely will have heard of Wu-Tang or be really familiar with them. But for anybody outside of that sort of sphere, it's surprising like that they don't have any clue. You know what I mean? And also I was watching the same thing. It's one of those like rabbit holes you just end up going down on YouTube.

But it was the same thing. It was like kids react to the 90s. And like they were playing like Smells Like Teen Spirit. They were playing like a bunch of like Guns N' Roses from Use Your Illusion and all that kind of stuff. And these are like six, seven-year-old kids. And the kids are like, oh, yeah, I recognize this one. My dad listens to it in the car all the time. And I was like, oh, no, that's not the way this music is meant to be referred to.

Like this is like cutting edge music at the time, you know, like it feels it made me feel pretty old. But it was it was nice to see people's like reaction to stuff that i i love you know like it was i guess that's like the point of the the whole show or whatever but it was really yeah yeah sure i mean absolutely like so then it was then it was lenny henry then it was sue perkins and then it was gabrielle and i guessed it was gabrielle gabrielle yeah gabrielle was like um she always she always wore her hair over over one half of her face right yeah so um i thought that was because she only had one eye no apparently i read apparently it's because she has a really bad lazy eye oh that's what i read and i oh no it's because she she actually has um ptosis which is the the droopy eyelid um which which you know

that famous black actor has um who looks like he's sleepy all the time. Oh, Forrest Whitaker. It's that. But he really owns it. He really looks kind of good. I just think it's awful that she still feels the need to hide it. She must feel so self-conscious.

It's a shame. I think it's different for women, isn't it, though? Because they're held to such a high standard. It's just awful. if you're in the line if you're in the public eye you have to be perfect in the public eye very good lewis make oh sorry i did not oh my god lewis that is so fucking insensitive you are oh christ so if you mean this is very i mean there are like four seasons of the American version of the Marx. Yes. Now, this is originally a very popular Korean show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. So get this. All right. So let's look at the masked singer season by season. I watched some of the reveals. Here are the season one of the masked singer of America. Yeah. So these are the people.

Antonio Brown. I do know him because I follow the NFL. OK, so Antonio Brown's a really. Of America. Yeah. So these are the people. Antonio Brown. I do know him because I follow the NFL. Okay. So Antonio Brown's a really, really, really good NFL player. Sure. And maybe Americans know who he is.

Tommy Chong, who I don't know who Tommy Chong is. Cheech and Chong. You remember Cheech and Chong? Oh, from Cheech and Chong. Okay. Yeah. I do know who that is.

Terry Bradshaw, who was an NFL Hall of Famer. I don't recognize his name. Margaret Cho. I vaguely recognize the name. Apparently she was a NFL Hall of Famer. I don't recognize his name. Margaret Cho. I vaguely recognize the name. Apparently she was a stand-up. Tori Spelling. Tori Spelling. I recognize her from 90210. Ricky Lake.

I recognize Ricky Lake of course. Oh my god everyone remembers Ricky Lake. Latoya Jackson. One of the Jacksons. This is a who's who of the 90s isn't it? It really is. It gets worse. It's like they went to a history of the 90s and they were is a who's who of the 90s, isn't it? Again, this is a big who's who of the 90s, yeah. Right, well, it gets worse. It's like they went to a history of the 90s and they were like, what are they doing today?

All they got to get is like Springer on there and Judge Joe Brown and like Geraldo. Just you wait, just you wait. Ruma Willis, who as I can tell is Bruce Willis' daughter. Yeah, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughter. Joey Fatone or Joey Fatone, who was in NSYNC, who is now kind of a chubby bearded American looking lad. Yeah.

Gladys Knight. Yeah. Who was like, you know, famous, famous soul singer. Yeah, Empress of Soul. Who do you think came in second? Donny fucking Osmond. No fucking way. Donny fucking Osmond, yeah.

He's still going? Jesus Christ. But the winner was T-Pain. T-Pain won. T-Pain. T-Pain. Ah, what? I. T-Pain. T-Pain. Ah, what? I thought that was funny for T-Pain.

Isn't he just an auto-tune robot? I don't know how he won it, but... So Ninja, the streamer, was on season two of the American version of Masked Singer. He went out in week two, but yes, he was there. Okay, that's one where I think maybe there there's enough like like mass media crossover But I think for the average person watching that show I don't know if they would really know who he was you know what I mean like I mean First on Twitch right and getting big on for tonight. No no this season to

This is I mean either way he didn't he do streaming with like LeBron or something like that? Drake. He did a stream with Drake once. So yeah, I think Ninja's fairly well. I'm looking at this list and it's reminding me of like a humble bundle, right? It's like nine people I don't recognize that I'm sure they're fine. And then they've done something.

And then a couple of, Oh, Oh, Kelly Osbourne. I've heard of her. Like, is like, uh,

Muhammad Ali's daughter. Yeah. Dr. Drew Pinsky, who apparently, I guess if you're American, he's well-known. Um,

Paul Schaefer, who was of course in the E street band. Yes. Yes. Yes. Fan leader. Letterman. Yeah.

Um, Sherry shepherd. I don't know who she is. Um, yeah, this is when they started going downhill, obviously, because I don't recognize a lot sherry shepherd i don't know who she is um yeah this is when they started going downhill obviously because i don't recognize a lot of these i don't know kelly osborne of course we know patty labelle very famous singer patty labelle yeah michelle

williams who i think was in destiny's child anna gasteya who you'd recognize her she's been in loads of will will ferrell movies right i don't know. Victor Oladipo, who's a basketball player. I don't know if you get, it's like a package. It's like, you know how you get a six pack of Coke, right? Right. You know, are all of those members of that boy band all celebrities? I feel like no. No, no. Do you know what I mean?

And I mean, it's the same like over here when they have Ed Balls on something. It's like, okay. Like, you know, it would be cool if like the Masked Singer was actual people who are known for singing or music or whatever, and maybe not. Well, I know that they are, obviously, but in a band. Some of them are, yeah. I just don't feel like... Singer, singer, singer, singer, singer, singer.

I would prefer it if like all of them, you know? I think it'd be easier to play the game, play along with the game. I just feel like it's like a big value pack. Like when you do S Club 7, you got like seven fucking singers there. And so you have to now have seven new celebrities added i only know bulks out all these things you're crappy non-celebrity even then it's like he looks have you seen s club seven recently like you can't you can't even recognize them like i'm just saying if i if i told you that paul from s club seven was in the fucking american version of voice you'd be like it's the same with the guy from nsync like unless you were big into them like man i used to listen

to kids on the block and i couldn't tell you who any of them were now like i remember maybe one of them like you know what i mean like it's just exactly i just feel it's like a cheap way to source of inverted commas celebrity you know well it's part of the fun in this part of the fun in this of not just having singers is that these people can sing like you'll hear like for instance i didn't know that sue perkins could sing she sings beautifully right but she's she's really scared of singing publicly so singing behind the mask she said like meant that she could she could sing but she was really she was really really good it's a bit like when you go to do karaoke and you hear your friends singing you're like oh shit like i didn karaoke and you hear your friends singing, you're like, Oh shit.

Like I didn't know you could sing. Cause a lot of people just don't sing in front of other people. They say it's kind of a scary thing for a lot of people. So they kind of conceal it. So it is, it is a lot of fun to see these people. Like for instance, the winner of this,

of this season, season two was Wayne Brady. Yeah. We love Wayne Brady. We knew he could sing though. Cause he whacks out on whose Line Is It Anyway all the time So then it gets a bit nutty in season three Are you ready for this?

This is where it gets crazy Is this when the ratings were dropping? No, no, no Mark Singer is huge, dude This is like the apex of the series probably Mark Singer is huge Lil Wayne Lil Wayne was first

First out Wow Drew Carey Oh shit, that's gotta be bad Lil Wayne was first. First out. Drew Carey. Yeah. Oh, shit. That's got to be bad. So poor fucking Drew Carey gets out first after fucking Wayne Brady wins it. Right, right. Out third, Chaka Khan.

Went out third. Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan. Went out fourth, Tony Hawk. Okay. Went out in fourth. Oh, my God. Okay. 90s tick.

Carry on. Dionne Warwick, so she was famous in like the fucking 60s I think, Dionne Warwick. Yeah. Then there's a guy called Tom Bergeron who did, he posted America's Funniest Home Videos. So this is really dredging at this point. Wait, this is like post Bob Sangit? Yeah, this is like the up to 2050-

Is he like a Jeremy Beadle or like a fucking Dennis Norton yeah he's basically that would be like getting Jeremy Beadle on so how about this one dressed as a bear went out in week I think eight

Sarah Palin was on the funny show oh my god okay I know then Bella Thorne who's an actress on a few things

I don't know her Jojo Siwa an American YouTuber I don't know her Rob Gronkowski the G Gronk, a tight end. He's a famous, famous football player. What is a tight end? Wow.

Remember your time in the cadets? So the tight end is like he's big enough to, he's an offensive player. He's not a defensive player. He's an offensive player. He's big enough that he's an offensive player he's not a defensive player he's an offensive player he's big enough that he can act as a lineman but he can also act as a runner or a receiver so he's like an extra option

for the quarterback he's like a big lad they're almost always big lads and you can use them in a variety of different plays they're very useful and a really good tight end can really tie an offense together any Americans out there agree with me? I don't know that actually makes american football sound like an actual game

oh you are just sucking as opposed to next time i see you buddy it is an interesting game for sure but uh if you if you haven't sort of like uh grown up around it or you know what i mean like it's a it's a it's a big cultural thing in north america like it's on tv all the time whatever but it's huge if you're from another country it'd be like trying to explain to somebody america like uh cricket or or something you know what i mean it's just like they're never gonna get it's like one of those national obsessions i think yeah um i think it's one of those things that stuck around with you because you'd spent like 10 years in america no i wasn't into american football when i was in the states i was a baseball fan which is why i still love baseball but like

when you're growing up it's like uh like it's certainly like for me like probably when i was sort of like 10 probably from like 10 to 14 right it was that was like the the sports craze years you know like everybody would come to school and talk about like the games that were on and what your favorite team was and we'd watch like all of them so like hockey baseball yeah american football basketball everything and there was like seasons overlapping with each other leading up to like big championship finals and stuff so now now it gets tricky all right because then we've got brett michaels the lead singer of poison um and i i recognize the name, but I wouldn't know who he is then. Hunter Hayes, not heard of him.

No. Jackie Evancho, I've not heard of her. No. Barry Zito, a former major league pitcher. I haven't heard of him. A rapper called Bow Wow. Bow Wow. Okay, a little Bow Wow.

Jess McCartney, who I also don't know. And then Candy Burrus, which vaguely rings a bell, but I don't know. Right, so it's like seven or eight people that you've definitely heard of and you know, and then a padded out roster of people you've never heard of. But those people are probably famous in America. Sure. They might just have absolutely no sort of presence over here. Much like Patsy Kensett, for example.

Not Patsy Kensett. Palmer, yeah. Patsy Kensett from East End. Patsy much like patsy kensett for example not patsy kensett from east end patsy palmer patsy palmer if most british people especially over 30 yeah absolutely no exactly no yeah it works both ways for sure there must be like a cut off for like i think i think like for for like exasperation right when you when you see someone who's famous you can always get away with saying oh they're in this band that you've heard of right it's like oh it's it's joe boynes and oh where's he from oh he's from uh big boys on the street oh yeah i know big boys on the street that's the great yeah but you can never

even remember who that was like exactly but you've heard of the you've heard of the band so you're like okay or you've heard of the football team so you're like okay right i've heard of the 49ers yeah yeah jimmy jimmy montana he he was a great great player right back in the back back in the day right jimmy montana i'm just saying like there must be some a little bit like earlier when people had no pointless answers right obviously someone in the audience is going to know who these people are yeah right and they'll be famous to them and other people aren't going to be right so you have to kind of pitch it down the middle where the most people know most of the people right and it's kind of this weird guessing game because also obviously

also they've already got a limited budget to pay these people i don't know dude this show is huge yeah like it but you know this show is is is very big i mean it's amazing that they get this many celebrities really right i mean it's like it's pretty nuts they get this many celebrities, really, right? I mean, it's like, it's pretty nuts. Yeah, but this is, especially shows that have only been running for a couple of seasons, that's like the still sort of like ground floor territory, right? That's when people are, it's when a show has been going for like eight, nine seasons, that's when it really starts to drop off, right? Nobody's interested in doing it anymore because it's old hat or it's embarrassing

or too embarrassing because it's been around too long sort of so get this this lineup is is really gonna solidify our point okay that that a lot of these people are people that in the uk we wouldn't know but then a name will pop up you think oh wow i i know that name and it's like it'll be an older name right so buster rhymes went out week one. Wow. So in week two, Mickey Rourke was on the show. Mickey Rourke went out, but here's the addendum to why he went out.

Why is he famous? I've forgotten. Mickey Rourke is an actor. Mickey Rourke is an actor, right? After completing his performance in costume and while being interviewed by the host, he complained about how hot it was in the costume and just took his mask off before the judges could vote on who was going to go out thereby eliminating himself from

the competition oh my god what a fucking idiot that's mickey rourke for you then a guy called brian austin green who was apparently also on 90210 yeah brian austin green i know yeah mark sanchez who fuck you mark sanchez jets quarterback he was bloody abysmal he's retired thank god wendy williams the talk show host i don't i don't recognize that i think wendy williams um i think wendy williams has had lots of controversy around being not like a great i think this is the same person i'm not super familiar but i think there's a story about i think wendy williams is the same talk show host that leaked Method Man's wife had cancer. Yes, that was her.

And he was like really vocally beefing with her everywhere, calling her like a stupid twat and everything. That's exactly right. That is exactly right. Ob Saget. Ob Saget killed a girl in 1990. Do you remember that? That's what fucking old...

That's what I think of when I hear that. Who? The Gilbert Gottfried joke about how... Anyway, sorry, carry on. Clint Black, who looks like a... Gilbert Gottfried is fucking so funny. He's goddamn funny. He roasted him.

Yeah. Fuck me. Have you seen him on Norm as well? When he's on Norm Mac. It's goddamn funny. He roasted him. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck me. Have you seen him on Norm as well when he's on Norm Macdonald? Fuck me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's so fucking funny. It's insane. I love, I love, I love Norm.

What's happened to Norm lately? Norm is just still going, man. He's still like tweeting. He has a Netflix series now. He's got a podcast and stuff. Like, you know, everybody's on lockdown and shit. He has a Netflix. He's taken, so he did his show

which is like a podcast but he did it in a studio so it was like a podcast but on camera right and he would get a different comedy guest on each week and and he would my favorite part of the show was they they write some jokes and they get he reads some and some of them are unbelievable are unbelievable but the jokes are terrible but the people the people's reactions reading them or like you know um delivering them is priceless like there's so many clips of it on youtube and stuff it's so there's such norm mcdonald jokes yeah yeah they really are yeah they're they're jokes that that depend entirely on his perfect timing and delivery.

Yes, yes, the norm delivery. He's so fucking funny, man. I've cried laughing listening to that guy. He's so fucking funny. I just can't believe it. So who else? Oh, sorry. I didn't think you wanted to know.

Bob Saget was the last one you said. Okay, so Lisa Hartman Black, who I don't recognize that name at all. Clint Black, who was a country western singer. I don't know him. Lonzo Ball, an NBA player. Lonzo Ball was an NBA player, yeah. Dr. Elvis Francois, an American orthopedic surgeon and amateur singer,

known for making inspirational viral videos of his singer before and during COVID-19. Wow, he seems like the worst one. Well, he did quite well. Paul Anka, a very old singer. Taylor Dane, an actress, and I don't recognize, she sang some songs. Chloe Kim, an Olympic gold medalist.

She won Olympic snowboarding gold. I don't recognize her. Tori Kelly, no idea. Nick Carter, no idea. Nick Carter is like a boy band guy, right? Backstreet Boys, Backstreet boys backstreet boys yeah he was like a teen idol i think aloe black i don't recognize him as well aaron carter nick carter and aaron carter had like uh some weird thing where aaron carter threatened to like kill his wife or

something oh really and then leanne rhymes won it so all right nick carter legal issues i think one of them like went off the fucking edge or something and just like is is kind of in september carter was granted a temporary restraining order against his younger brother aaron yeah after alleging he threatened to kill his then pregnant wife yes yeah jesus but he's like apparently just like i mean it it doesn't mean anything but like like because he just had this like clean you know boy band image but now he's just like covered just like, I mean, it doesn't mean anything, but like, like, because he just had this like clean, you know, boy band image. But now he's just like covered in tats and he just looks like a fucking heavy class A drug user and stuff. It's pretty funny.

Wow. Yeah. And then, and then Liam Rimes won it. So, but there are a lot more singers. See, this is the thing. It's just singers the last few weeks. Oh God. So in week 10 of this show, they go blam blam blam they knock three

people out they have a lot more people on the american one americans aren't they gonna have more and more and more of everything so yeah they tend to like the last couple of episodes they just get rid of everyone really quick yeah yeah because it's a good idea because otherwise you end up having like three or four episodes where there's like two people and it's quite a different show when you go from 11 to two or whatever another one that was like kind of okay-ish like we used to watch it every once in a while um not so much anymore but like a couple of years ago when it when it first came out was um the voice remember that one with um it's got will.i.am and uh tom jones and it had um dude from um savage garden and they had um what's her face uh singer from america grandpa no yeah no it was it was it was it was interesting it was it was okay but it was people

from the public right but it wasn't like um like uh American Idol or whatever. They didn't do the cringe ones where the people were just like – where they're making fun of them or whatever. It was like at the point where the show was going, the judges had to create teams of people. So they would turn around. They couldn't see the person. They'd hear them sing. And then if they like what they heard, they'd turn around and then see the person and then try to like convince them to join their team or whatever and it was like it was all right it was pretty interesting but like i i wouldn't watch season after season after season of it but like you know for like complete randoms like you

know from the public there were some people that were like really talented it was pretty crazy actually but i don't know if any of them have gone on to like do christmas singles or anything like that i feel like that's all done now right like you're gareth gates and and and all that kind of stuff it doesn't happen as much anymore cultural traditional kind of attraction to it though a nostalgic sort of vibe on these things that people are hard to get rid of you know It's comforting and familiar to see a thing about the Christmas number one, even if it's irrelevant. The really last big breakaway off one of those talent show shows, for me, I feel like it's Susan Boyle,

but maybe there's been others since. No way, man. There's been loads of ones. No, you're absolutely right. In my consciousness, that's the last one i can't think of anyone like post her that's that's gone on to like you know make it even like somewhat big like susan boyle like did pretty well like i mean you know she's people recognize the name at least like well i think because she was minging that's why like she was minging and people were like oh my god ugly people can sing

like that was the whole yeah sure All you Merz did pretty fucking well from was he was he after Susan Boyle or before the way off About all emails is someone I've heard of but didn't realize he came from a reality TV show Jamie in a sense second in the sixth series of the x factor in 2009 sure i was like do you guys like that do you guys like ramesh ranganathan the um the comedian he's got he's not really no i think he's been shows now and stuff no i mean he's pretty funny but uh his show um it's just a bit miserable it's fucking funny though man he's but i can relate to that yeah he's very funny um his uh his show's back like uh last last week it was the first episode of it i can't help the thing is

that i can't help but feel that he puts on that misery you know like i'm sure he does he's got like three kids and stuff like i don't know i think he's actually a probably very happy funny entry in happy guy but his purse is online is like, I could just see through the facade of misery. And he's actually really bubbly and happy behind it. Well, anyway. That annoys me. His show came back and I watched it last week. I wouldn't make a point to watch that show.

It was just on and I just happened to be watching it. But he had Jack D was one of his guests. And Jack D uh a little bit older very similar comedy personality yeah yeah but he's still really fucking funny like uh he made me laugh like multiple times which i was surprised at because you know like i feel like jack d lee evans like all these guys from the sort of same era it feels like you could lump them all together and just say like ah they used to be funny but like maybe they're not anymore or maybe they still are i don't know i don't keep track but

i was just surprised that jackson was still very guys have always been yeah funny fucking guys i love them yeah i love i love i know the old guys like um old um vick and bob go was it bob and the thing you go fishing um you've seen that bob mortimer and uh and uh yeah no it's not it's not vickery oh it's not what white it's paul whitehouse paul whitehouse that's right sorry yeah yeah bob mortimer and vick reeves was uh what is it shooting shooting stars yeah they did loads of stuff yeah they did yeah they were they were great and there's so many so many vick reeves and sang the uh theme tune to um sean the sheep as well and played as the farmer in the first season as sean the sheep as well really some trivia

that's the kind of thing you would know as a dad pointless pointless trivia anyway i hope everyone is is doing all right i read today that this morning i read that um this second sort of lockdown that we're all enduring has been much more difficult than last year um and i think last year the lockdown was this kind of new thing um and it was sort of interesting and different in a way because and it was like it was and i think a lot of people dealt with it in different ways but now i think everyone's really sick of it and bored of it yeah and i think that i read today that sort of over over 30 30 percent of of adults of of our sort of age group have signs of depression yeah yeah so that's kind of i don't know what it is it's kind of like apathy and like listlessness and like things like just just feeling not not tired but like just a

bit like just like i think we expected shit to be better by now and so you know i think do you take do you take care of yourselves out there look after your mental health especially when it's so fucking cold it reminds me of like being in a fucking school field in my shorts like yeah well this seems like a natural time to be stuck inside when the weather's like this but because we've been stuck inside for so long, it loses the novelty. I'm going to wrap up warm and I'm going to go for a walk around and get some fresh air. Don't let your hands get cold like mine did. And don't wear shorts if you can help it.

I know I do. I try not to. But you shouldn't wear shorts out in this weather. It's way too cold. All right. Thanks, everybody. We'll see you next time. Love you lots