Triforce! - Triforce! #167: Feeling Altenschmertzen

Episode Date: March 10, 2021

Triforce! Episode 167! We discover some spicy new emotions, Lewis has been meeting weird book haters on the internet and Pyrion's been learning to walk and talk like a Texan! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast. We're back. Today, we're back. We're here. We're here. How are you doing? I'm doing all right. How are you doing? You sound a little down. I'm not down. Well, I am a little down. I just saw that Cadbury's Twitter

had replied that someone that cream egg is actually pronounced creme egg. No. And I can't believe it. Yeah, I mean it's spelt creme. I don't know why people are so confused. Oh, so you've said creme egg all these years? No, I never have because i'm not

french but it is spelled like in the french way so well oh i see like in the french way is this is this actually true official but then again it's a little bit like the inventor of gif coming out and saying pronounced gif or whatever the wrong way around but if whichever way he flags his whole world is being rocked right now it's not jif it's not creme what next you know it's gif and it's cream obviously but this is just clever marketing there was that thing the other week where the twitter right the weetabix twitter did that thing where they put how about baked beans on your weetabix this morning that's disgusting there's no way anyone

said yeah that looks delicious but they know it's gonna go viral and you know that this was intended because all the other brands jumped in they were like oh shit we've got to be in on this twitter thread so you had like kfc tweeting on there and like like every other brand you could imagine that was like vaguely british or had a presence in britain was tweeting on this and like every other brand you could imagine that was like vaguely British or had a presence in Britain was tweeting on this shit. It's all just social media people having a laugh and getting some good marketing in there. There's no way it's creme egg. I kind of feel like Weetabix with baked beans might work, though.

I haven't tried it. Did you see the picture? Yes, I did. Because one of Mrs. F's most hated things is baths full of beans. She hates them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, some people have, like, arachnophobia. Arachnophobia.

What is in your cans of beans? Yeah, the worst thing for me is a bath full of spiders. I would never get into that bath. There's some... Bean bath I would get into. There'll be a name. There'll be a fucking name for phobia of beans. Do you know what I mean?

It'll be some dumbass, long-ass name that someone's created. Leguminophobia. There you go. Thank you. Is that actually... Thank you. You've looked it up. An irrational fear of baked beans.

Yeah, look, here you go. Man has crippling phobia of baked beans. Right. Mr. Griffiths feels faint and gets shaky if someone puts the breakfast favorite meal any nowhere near him maybe he's had like a traumatic experience in the past relating to what with a bath he almost drowned in a bath of baked beans on a charity event or something god he says he describes them as the orange devils right he had to quit his previous job as a chef no no english breakfast no way he just refuses to cook beans i think it might be the the smell that weirds him out he looks very

distressed my worst possible job is being a chef at butlin's it's non-stop they want beans all the time oh man fuck so so yeah i i will say like i saw this as well you know how they always there's this thing where they can get names for any old shit phobias is the other one but there's like like there's loads of words that mean these sort of emotions right so i saw this thing on reddit last week it's like um 23 emotions people feel but can't explain right okay what's one of them um and so there's like words for them. So well, obviously, sonder, you might have heard of that. Sonder? Is that when you're just so horny

and you just don't know what to do with yourself? Is that that one? I think it might be on the list somewhere. Is it R-Q-R-O-N-K? And you kind of feel regret, but also a little bit of pleasure and relaxation as well. Yes, there's a Japanese word for that, actually. Of course there is. It's like that period of wisdom and clarity that comes after finishing all right i can find it i can find it for that nice wisdom and clarity is not how i'd

put it yeah no i it's just like just lots of sort of i don't know how how i feel after actually i've never really like it's called period of clear thoughts when a man is free from sexual desires after having an orgasm okay last about five minutes yeah yeah so it's the desires just ramp up again uh slowly over the course of the five minutes after and then you're just back to square one yeah before you know it all you've done all day is just masturbated all day long. That was a big problem with working from home, wasn't it? It was people that were working from home during lockdown.

Masturbating all the damn time. Didn't have anyone else around to sort of moderate their... Reign them in, yeah. Yeah, they just kind of just go home. Maybe they're going to transcend to this higher state of being, though, due to like constantly wanking and just, you know, they'll eventually that five minutes will stretch almost like they have no sexual desire any ever you know maybe the wisdom the wisdom is being put into maybe we'll have like a whole renaissance of amazing creation after the pandemic you know because people have been locked in their homes

forced to innovate um maybe you know maybe is that gonna happen people have been locked in their homes, forced to innovate. Maybe. You know? Maybe. Is that going to happen? No, they were locked in their homes just jerking it 24-7, getting sonder or whatever that means. So, sonder is the realization that every passerby, everyone else you see, has a life as vivid and complex as your own. Right.

Isn't that just kind of empathy? I wouldn't imagine a lot of people do actually feel that one. Or maybe that's why it's on the list of feeling something and not being able to explain it because you feel it like so seldomly or whatever because i i feel like a lot of people don't realize that about other people they just think that they're the most complex person and the world revolves around them basic empathy if you can't look at another human and realize that the depths of you and the depths of them are equally deep, depth, deep. Depths.

Then, you know, get your fucking sonder on. But maybe also it's like kind of a bit of a wake up call in a sense. That feeling, I don't know what I would describe it as, but it's definitely the feeling where you realize that you're not important because everyone else is equally as important. I don't know. It sort of takes a little bit away from your sense of self-importance it's not like a it's almost like a disappointing feeling i mean i guess it's uh i guess people like to think of themselves everybody likes to think of themselves as unique right i mean i know that consciousness existing you know you sort of live behind your eyes in this weird bubble where you feel like

you're an observer some special observer you have your unique perspective is from behind your eyes of looking out and seeing everything and other people just seem to be you can't imagine that they're looking at you from the set from their perspective and assessing you and life and they've got desires and dreams and and fears and you know they might be terrified of baked beans and here you are yeah on your annual dress up as a baby you've got a whole tin that you've just opened up and you're eating them yeah like at the bus stop you're at the the the the spring the spring fair float on the baked bean bath float going past just going ham having like screaming with joy and stuff. And that's somebody else's hell.

But you discount that because you just think you're the center of the universe. Me and my bean elation are the center of the universe right now. There's nothing else. So that is one of the words on the list. One of them is onism or one-ism, I think. Onism? The frustration of being stuck in just one body that inhabits a single place at a single time you know like do you ever do you ever i don't know if i ever feel

this but do you ever feel frustrated that you aren't able to be in like a cosmic being no couldn't like him no that could be everywhere at once i think some of these feelings i've never felt and i wondered whether you'd felt any of them so that's a very weird one don't get me wrong i'm a i'm a very sad individual but i i'm happy to say not that sad so that's something that you've got that for me you've got that at least i have that have you ever felt and i think this is what may be true the uh the realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore um because apparently that is i think called notice tollens right apparently people feel this isn't that just the general confusion of

life like right i think that we have this idea that everybody else has got their shit together yeah and they don't nobody nobody really does everybody's kind of muddling through i find i find it's the people who always seem to have their shit together the most that uh tend to not and then hard the fault uh hard the fall fall the hardest sorry um i said that um in the fullest but i noticed this even more so on uh on social media i don't know if you guys um notice this as well sometimes you know you'll see you'll see somebody and they'll be like oh my god like here are my stats i've done so well i'm doing this and that oh god everything is great i love everybody and then literally the next day it's like oh guys i gotta take like a

month off anxiety is flaring up big time i think it's mania a lot of the time. Yeah, yeah. It's really, it's odd, isn't it? Like you see it quite often. I, you know, you see that from somebody like, holy shit, this fucking person, like what the hell? They're, they're, they're, they're killing it out there. Like they can't, they're nonstop.

And then, and then the next day that happens, you're like, well, I guess maybe they weren't killing as much as I thought they were yeah they were killing their brain yeah yeah yeah it's it's a weird thing isn't it i think a lot of the time if someone does something that pushes them above the average i think a lot of a lot of the the instinct is to think oh they're just so much better than me and and uh and that's why but a lot of the time people just manically overwork push themselves harder they are good at what they do and they do work very hard at it but to a degree that's so far above the human average that in fact their brain which is still a human brain

just yeah striving for perfection as well is is like a common trap too right that people just get carried away and then they can never nothing can ever live up to this standard or expectation that you've set and then they they just fall so hard and you just sort of think well i don't know like you just have to have like a healthier you know or more realistic view on life right not everything is as perfect and sometimes but like you know things are are perfect the way they are like even though you might not think it at the time. But it's like, you know, sometimes the way something is, is the perfect way for it to be. You just don't realize it.

Yeah. Lewis, what is the emotion, if there is one? Go on. Sorry. First of all, for interrupting you like twice. I apologize for that. I'll find it. Okay.

But the other one is for discovering that someone else was, say, as nervous or worried about something as you were, but didn't show it. And then when you realise that they were as worried, there's like a huge sense of relief that you weren't the only one who was worried or nervous. Right. Well, I think almost all of these emotions are things like just relief and disappointment. I don't think, I think, imagine you have a feeling of 25 relief and 75 disappointment right i think that is probably called uh ellipsism or some bullshit do you know i mean ellipsism ellipsism is the sadness that you'll never be able to know how history will turn out and i feel like that isn't that isn't like something which no i think i actually get that quite often but like i think i'd like to know

i'd love to know where we end up i think you could like chef that together in the kitchen from two parts avocado a tin of baked beans a dash of disappointment and a splash of you know i mean wouldn't you love to know on we where we're gonna be in like a thousand years time to go and look at earth and see how things have changed i would love that even if it would be awful it's like it's like you're watching a tiny part it's like if you think about human civilization it's like a very long film and you have a very brief cameo but you don't get to watch the rest of the production like you just get to see a little slice of it you have no idea how the film ends and you only have a vague idea of how it began and your role is a bit part you're a walk-on extra that just walks through the back

of the scene nobody's even going to notice you unless they pause or you accidentally catch on fire in the middle of the scene and somehow you stand out but in general you're just a a single frame in this colossally long film i want to see see the end. I want to see how it ends. Or hopefully it never does. Well, you know, we... But I see what you're saying. And I have felt this too. You know, it's funny because you think,

oh, you know, I'm never going to live to see jetpacks. You know? First thing he goes to on his deathbed, I wanted to see jetpacks. I'm not going to be able to go into space what about those skateboards that kind of hover yeah they don't really cut it do you guys feel bummed out

about any of this stuff really though just for pondering I think it is I think that's it this is a list of things things that lightly bum you out that's what. It is that. This is a list of things, which is things that lightly bum you out. That's what it is, right? Like his ocularism is the awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

Right. The awareness of the smallness of your perspective. It's like, well, yeah, sure. I mean, again, it's linked to everything else, right? It's like the idea that everyone around you has something interesting to say. But on Twitter, you know, people put their, on Instagram and all these social media platforms, people put their best self out there. And sometimes they're kind of lying to themselves when they do that, you know, as well.

Like they're putting this fake kind of idea of what they want other people to see them as. Because it's very much me, me, me, me, me. And I think a lot of people don't really see much beyond that there's another one on this list where which we we have a little bit of a habit of doing uh anectochi i think it's it's something we've heard you may have heard before a conversation in which everyone is talking but nobody is listening yeah i mean that's that's the perfect summary of this podcast well yeah if we renamed it it should be that weird with uh with with podcasts so because like i think uh like our our friendship is is based on doing an activity

together right we know each other through gaming right so i think it's i think it's natural that there is some degree of that because normally when we'd be chatting we'd be doing something else like i'm doing something else right now because it's just you know i'm here i'm not just like sitting here with my eyes closed talking to you guys or listening to you i mean sorry but uh you know what i mean i think it's i i think it it's it's it's it's kind of weird but it makes sense too you know like we would have been playing wow together we would have been playing something else together where there's times where you're concentrating on something else not necessarily listening but even in real life with friends like that sometimes too right you're not always listening sometimes you're just talking feelings feelings air or whatever and and

not listening i don't know i think it's like I think that's surprisingly more natural than a lot of people think you know what I mean like you guys aren't listening are you no no once he said you weren't listening I tuned out yeah no I'm joking understandable you're exactly right I think it is that we enjoy just spending time with people when it feels comfortable it feels easy you don't have to yeah you don't really have to try I think that's why this this podcast has worked for so long because it's not you know it's a safe space as well right it's the same space i will say like i've been hanging out on um some discords me and some different people playing so one of the discords i'm on is tts club which is the tabletop sim it's like a little private tabletop sim club it's not private

anyone can join right but um it's basically there's a looking for group discord and people posting they're teaching this game and so this week i learned a game called barrage which is like a game where water comes down at the top of the board and it flows down you have to build dams and then obviously when the water comes through your dam you get power but depending on where the power's gone the water's still there someone else can use that water to power their dam and so it's kind of this push and pull game it's very complicated yeah it took this guy's poor guy forever to explain it and after we played it i looked through the rules it turned out he'd like basically just totally taught everyone wrong all the rules were wrong um but i had a great time i played a game called smartphone

inc where we all had to be like smartphone owners wow what a break from the norm we played a game called don't you own a smartphone well what does that mean you have to be a smartphone owner i mean i own a phone it's not how can you build a game around that owner of a smartphone company okay that makes sense selling smartphones across the world like a Steve Jobs. That's just reminded me. Go on. No, you interrupt. If it's interrupt worthy, I'll be Sondon if you don't tell me about it.

Honestly, Sips, if you have something to say that's more interesting than this. No, no, no, carry on. You just reminded me of something I needed to do. Oh, right. It's nothing interesting. It's a task. A dad task. So I needed to do. Oh. Right. Something you needed to do. It's nothing interesting. It's a task. A dad task.

Okay. So I've learned these board games. Another one I learned was So You've Been Eaten, which is like basically where you can, there's these big space monsters and you're a little astronaut mining for stuff and you get eaten. Anyway, it's quite fun. So one of the people I met doing this um said was it was was odd a little bit odd but but like fairly normal guy sounded like a fairly normal guy but he said to me i hate books right and i kind of want to role play this out with you almost a

little bit like if i said to you yeah i hate books yeah you hate books books you know who else hated books hitler hit Yeah, exactly Wow Some books yeah, I see where this is going I think it was just a pot to drive up the sales of mine camp if you only have one book in the store You know, it's gonna look great I wonder how different it would have been his story Now I present to you My book Very good Das Buch Das Buch, the sequel

Oh shit So obviously I didn't say that to him I didn't just go you're Hitler did I To this random fucking guy I just met You should have, you should have had the bollocks to tell him You know who else thought that No I said to him the kind of thing I always Obviously there's loads of choices you have either you can sort of make

a joke about it or you could so mine is like mine is like kind of my traditional go-to is like agree but question kind of thing like like kind of like oh yeah yeah i know i've read some really terrible books but actually i there's some really good ones out there have you read this book right for example i'll suggest something like brandis anderson you know i mean people i try and talk to people in a way that if they say something weird to me like that i don't want to upset them or offend them i also want a question i want to dig though i want to figure out what's here me now i'm gonna help you out that's a real fucking milk toast wank response to a shitty opinion right have some fucking bollocks tell that person listen to me you don't like books you you don't like books that's as bad as saying i don't like

music so what does that mean that means you have never attempted to read a book now now here's the thing period you can't have done you must have just given up i wanted to learn more about this guy i wanted to i want to i want to wipe away the baked beans on the surface of this madness and dig and find out why, why he doesn't hate books. And why does he hate books? So I sort of, I,

so I pressed him and he said, books, books are really boring. Right. And they expect you to remember everyone's name. Were you, okay. Were you talking to a nine-year-old at the time

was this a this is a nine somebody who's nine years old this is like he i think he's like about 25 year old uh like korean guy we spoke a little bit so i'd kind of like uh you know i i was because you i was playing with the guy from bangladesh the other day right um you know there's lots of different people across the world I've been talking to. So I find it interesting to learn these board games. What a social butterfly. Well, it could be worse. I mean, imagine he was just like, I hate women. It could be

way worse. This is actually a fine thing. I wanted to do a deep dive into that. You would have said, yeah, no, yeah, you're right. Women suck. But I've met a couple that were nice nice would you make that same argument that you made for books well i think maybe i would have been a little bit hesitant to do that but i think that i still would have tried to figure out a way to draw out where this comes from because i just i'm interested in

madness and these mad people who have these weird opinions. I'm bad with those kind of things. But you have to... Because the other thing to do is to go parallel with it. Be like, oh, yeah, I hate books too. It's killing the planet. The trees are all getting cut down. The other thing is to have a reason that you hate books that is completely weird as well. And then they're're kind of like oh yeah i hate books because of this

so i'm not tricking him to opening up but i like feel like yeah i want i want to know more social manipulating people that you meet on the internet it's not even you guys have done this i'm sure you guys have done this before where you're speaking to somebody who has they there's like uh there's there's just a certain way about them where you're where you've decided i'm not gonna fuck with this person like i don't want this person to talk any more than they need to but i'm stuck talking to them and you know maybe they're old or you just know you there's just somebody that you're never going to get through to there's no point in you genuinely being yourself around them and then you you just sort of like

compromise and agree with what they're saying sort of thing just yeah just to flow a conversation to its end and then leave or you know what i mean just get out of that situation just placate them until it's over yeah yeah so you know there's probably there's probably a word for this it's probably like alton schmerz yeah no but i'm sure you guys have been in that situation oh god everyone has you know millions of times with someone yeah like someone a senior person like a taxi driver you're stuck in the car with them the classic and they just have these fucking hot takes on everything that you you're not going to get into a debate with them or someone you're next to on the plane you're stuck on the plane with them and it's a 10-hour flight and

you're like there's no point making an enemy yeah for 10 hours i never had to see this person again so i'll just nod and smile and then put my headphones on and hope that's the end yeah i think the i hate women thing is one of the ones where i wouldn't be interested in poking into it but i think sometimes when it's something so i guess with this one it was almost like i was so surprised because i'm such a huge reader and i just sort of my instant thought was you just can't be reading the right books you know uh which is something i said so that's the sort of the next thing i said i was like oh you know well i mean maybe you're just reading the wrong books dude like you know and he said no the authors expect you to remember

what happened like a hundred pages ago i tried loads of different books, and it's like nothing happens. They're all so boring. I mean, it's fair enough, isn't it? I mean, you're never going to convince that guy to read a book, clearly. Well, I'm not trying to convince him to read a book. That's not my job. He's decided that books suck and he hates them. I just want to know what books he's fucking reading.

Because it's easy to read a shit book and think Well, I was only ever read the books from the wheel of time series. That's it. No other books I'm not saying anything against wheel of time. I'm just saying like there's some some of the books like you know they drag on i guarantee you some ears that's one of those book series i i actually i i do read but i i don't read a lot of fiction yeah um i read quite a lot of sort of uh either uh not biographies but i tend to read books that are more based on on facts and things that. I find that investigative stuff quite interesting and his things about history and stuff like that. I do read some fiction, but not a huge amount. But what I do find very boring actually is conversations where people are talking about books. I do like books, I do read books,

but what I find dull is is those conversations about books and wheel of time is the classic someone will start talking about it and everyone will start talking about how great it is and they'll wank on and on about it and they'll talk about some characters that you've never heard of and it goes on forever much like the book series it just goes on and on and on and i think at least with a movie there's a you know there, there's so many books out there and they're so fucking long. I do understand what that guy's saying. Because I started reading one of the Game of Thrones books. I was bored to tears and I thought the dialogue was fucking awful.

I'm sorry, fans of the books. I really thought it was laughably bad dialogue. And just I couldn't get into it at all. If that had been the only book I'd read, I'd think books suck. I get it. I get it. I actually understand where that guy's coming from. Well, this is what I thought.

I mean, actually, I thought... I mean, obviously, there were thoughts going through my head. Like, initially, I love the idea of just out-crazing someone and being like, do you hate the Bible? But that's the best book. Do you know what I mean? Like, just out-crazing them. But no, I don't do this kind of shit.

I'm just a normal person mostly um within reason and so i i sort of yeah so i mean we we i kind of that was all i really got but i guess i thought that he might have um uh what's that called aphasia or whatever where you can't imagine stuff you can't get it in your head you know and so i sort of asked him that he said i can't imagine something that i've never seen a picture of right oh then he yeah he has so maybe he has got some imagination like issues or something yeah but like and memory problems i mean i i mean i know that in some books like war and peace um i i haven't read it but my mom said that the issue is that that in Russian like a name will have like eight nicknames associated with that name

and you just kind of have to know and you have to like she said there's a lot of thumbing back and forth and trying to figure out because there'll be like three characters called Alexandra or whatever you say you know you've got to try and figure out what the fuck's going on quite a lot she said it's a real bugger to read for that reason and there are other books like what is it Finnegan's Wake

and stuff like that that are just so out there that they're almost impossible to read for that reason and there are other books like what is it finnegan's wake and and stuff like that that are just so out there that they're almost impossible to read i wish books were more defined in a sense that it was either a book that you could read gradually or a book that you had to read almost like quickly because otherwise you'd lose everything you know like it's been a while since i read the last um stormlight archive and the new one's come out and i was talking to ben about it and i couldn't remember any of the fucking stuff he was like do you remember when this happened i was like no no you don't necessarily i i feel the that in your mind you're like i have to know everything going into this but if it's written well it'll it'll jog your memory like when you get to a point right you'll be like oh

shit yeah that happened you know like well i do notice that yeah when you're reading like book three of a series you're like it's in the first couple of chapters it's like doing jogs and i'm like why are you telling me this and if it's something that happened way way back they'll go into some sort of um you know like overview detail of of the thing that you're meant to have remembered sort of thing and that is usually enough to sort of oh yeah know like overview detail of of the thing that you're meant to have remembered sort of thing and that is usually enough to sort of oh yeah i remember that happening now i hadn't thought about it for a while but it's still there in my brain somewhere like you know what i mean the red rising books the the original trilogy i read all those so quickly

that i actually didn't take in to the long-term memory the stuff that happened and when i came to read iron gold i got like two pages in and i'd completely forgotten every single character in the entire thing so i gave up so i'm actually super wrong criticizing this guy um but i definitely wouldn't write off books that's a failure on my part to be terrible at remembering things because you're right i've had conversations with people where they're about Red Rising, like, what about so-and-so? Who was your favorite character? What about that bit?

And yeah, and the same thing. I didn't analyze it to that. I was the same. I read through it very quickly. I enjoyed it. But I couldn't have a conversation about the books now without, you know, I'd have to go back and reread them. now um without you know i'd have to go back and reread them and with the like making a point to really soak in every detail ready for a conversation about yeah yeah right like if you would have hit

me up shortly after i'd read the books for a conversation about it sure but like years down the line there's you know i i'm not into reading or books that much i don't hate them obviously i you know i have read lots of books, but I'm just at a point in my life now where I, I tend not to, I just, for whatever reason, don't have time or just don't have the inclination.

Didn't you find that you used to read a lot? I used to read a lot when I was traveling. Yeah, for sure. When I was commuting, like the, on the train into work, that was a,

I read so many books then. I did too. Because I'm just at home. I don't make the time to do it because the fucking internet the world's different now too when i travel now i don't bring a book i bring a tablet you know i you know i play games or i read on that or watch movies or whatever i mean yeah yeah so i mean i i read an hour or two every day that's good for you i sleep because i feel like that's the best time to do it and i always like just i feel like it just is and i actually have three different books on the go one on my

one in physical one on my ipad one on my phone so uh when i'm i always i found that that actually helps me because there's always one of them i'm willing to read because some of them i'm like like you know you put it off and you're like oh i'm not really enjoying this but you you halfway through you don't want to you don't want to act like this i just i'm just worried that in the future i'll come back and say oh did i read this book can i remember what happened and i realized i'd never actually fucking read it because i got bored in three pages in or whatever i can't remember it's the same thing with tv shows like movies as well like you've i don't like watching i'd rather just finish a bad movie that i hate just so i know i'm done with it i just don't even seek out movies anymore i just don't bother with

them like i'm sure there's some great ones or whatever but i've just been out of the habit again out of the habit of watching movies for so long that i just i'm not even interested like i i rarely see trailers for them i'm not a big fan of like Marvel and stuff like that, which, you know, there's a lot of movies around that stuff coming out and still, and, uh, I don't know.

Yeah. I just tend more towards generational thing. Right. Too. Like, you know, the Ben's Ben just had his, um,

six year old's birthday and they watched Avengers, the first Avengers movie together. Right. And it was like this big event. And, you know, he, he,

he followed it with the, Ben and you know, he followed it with the, Ben explained to me that he followed it with this childlike joy of like actually being worried that Iron Man would die and stuff like this. Like, you know, like the whole, the wonderful innocence of a child who doesn't have years of kind of cynicism built in to them. And so, you know, you're talking about a marvel movie you're you're 40 years too old to watch that movie sips oh yeah that's the thing i know this i don't like that's why i love the marvel movies i thought they were fucking great fine they're actually if one's on i will i'll sit there and watch it like the effects are great that like the action scenes are and everything like they they are good you know fun

entertaining movies like if i i'm sure that when my son's a bit bigger and corona's gone i'd love to take him to like the summer blockbuster at the movie theater like that experience i remember from being a kid i love that you know but for me personally i'm not saying i'm not allowed to enjoy it but i i think that there's so much stuff made for so many different people that you know maybe you want something i'm sure the most intellectually stimulating thing you know is is equally boring i don't want to read fucking dostoevsky or war and peace or any of this garb you know terrible wordy nonsense you know i don't necessarily i mean i but i think anything could be interesting i watched a lot of documentaries i watched watched McMillions this week, which I thought was really good. Oh, I haven't even heard that.

It was about, it's a documentary. It's like six parts. It's about the McDonald's monopoly scam in the 90s when all of, it turns out that basically all of the big prize winners was illegitimate. Like every single one. They were all employees of like a company. Wait, where is this? Where is this available?

I want to watch this. It's hbo all right so i i read i read the article about that i think it was in the guardian might have been the new york times years ago that essentially they realized that they couldn't just have one person keep winning this but the the company that was responsible i think this is right correct me if i'm wrong lewis they were like getting people at the company they were giving them the winning tickets and so is this the monopoly like roll up the rim to win stuff like that in the 90s Like when you used to have like the you you get the cut you scratch off boardwalk and park place You had the monopoly pieces yeah and so a lot of them I think I won a couple of free fries Yeah everybody won a the fucking apple thing that whatever you win, the little apple, what is it called?

The apple pie. Apple pie, coffee, small fries. Those are the things you win, but people are winning a lot of them. And it was hugely, hugely successful. Hugely, hugely. The best thing they've ever done. They tried to do it with other things like Scrabble a couple of years and other things, but it was never as big as Monopoly.

I guess Monopoly is one of those universally understood games as well. Like everybody's played it at some point as a, as a kid or whatever. Like it's kind of the ultimate. It was like loot boxes. You buy a, you buy a fries and then suddenly you've got a loot box on the side of it. So there were a lot of things they had to do to make sure it wasn't gambling

as well though, because they had to, if you, you could always go into McDonald's and just say, can I have a ticket? And they'd give do to make sure it wasn't gambling as well though because they had to if you you could always go into mcdonald's and just say can i have a ticket and they'd give you one and it might have free fries on it or nothing you know so they had to just they had to there were these certain rules they had to take um anyway uh there was this great there's this great scene and this is no spoilers because i because the whole documentary is about the people involved talk to them all the different people and stuff it's really interesting but there was this great bit where

this is in the first episode the fbi get sort of the mcdonald's head honchos into the room and write down all these names on this whiteboard and they're all like you know james mason edwina smith like all different names all different surnames my mom and my dad that's wow and and so they're like do you recognize any of these names and all the mcdonald's in all the head honchos are like no no we don't and they're like well and they start drawing lines and they're like this guy is this guy's brother this guy is this guy's wife this this this woman is this guy's sister you know and so everyone is linked like and they calculated that it is like it was every single one of them was a scam you see in some way because and so they

there was obviously someone having to give them out you know imagine you've got all of these fucking million dollar tickets how do you redeem them all and get money from it how do you even do that and so there's like so many different new york crime families involved like oh loads of really cool stuff like all that stuff that's how they they live for that shit right like that's that's what they're looking for they're looking for scams like constantly that's how they so you know it's really interesting because it makes you realize like how the fuck could you get away with this you know if you had a million like multiple million dollar tickets because of course in america you pay winnings tax and then the way it was redeemed as well wasn't just a million dollars all at once.

It was $50,000 a year. So, you know, actually, in some ways, winning this million dollars was terrible for some people because they would get this prize. They'd be – everyone in the community that they lived in knew them because they'd be the million dollar winner. But they weren't getting that. They were getting, you know, maybe $10,000 a year on top of their shitty $20,000 a year job. Or maybe they were even unemployed. Yeah, that's the thing. It was never a full payout, right? It was always in installments. And so these people are even struggling to live through this thing.

And especially because it's a scam. And so the mafia guys are taking, you know, 50%. And so they get their payoff of 50 000 pounds for the year mafia take 25 grand they pay 15 grand of winnings tax or 20 grand of winnings tax they're left with like five grand oh no it's awful and so like joey so that but everyone thinks they're a millionaire and so and they can't tell anyone and so they just they it's it's it's a really interesting story. I'm going to watch. That sounds great.

Thank you very much. Before we carry on, thank you very much to this week's sponsor, ExpressVPN. You can get three months extra free at expressvpn.com slash Triforce. So guys, does it make sense that the same company who controls half of online retail also passively eavesdrops on your private conversations and your private browsing? Abso-fucking-lutely not, Lewis. Exactly. Big tech is more powerful than most countries are, and they profit by exploiting your personal data.

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And we'll carry on with the show. I got another show to recommend i got another show to recommend that i just finished last night uh schitt's creek you guys watched this oh yeah you told us about it last week yeah it's got so we finished it it's got the second city guys in it like yeah yeah so it's eugene levy and his son and his daughter are in it um honestly i know i spoke about it last week i i've been caning it this week like it gets better doesn't it it's so good yeah i finished it well like funny good or just like good good good or a mix of both it's very funny it's very moving um it's uh it's beautiful they there's only six seasons of it they They created these excellent characters And it's just it's just a wonderful show. I really really enjoyed it like start to finish

No, it never tails off. There's honestly not a bad episode I saw it on Netflix so many times and I thought oh my god like I just because the name of it I just thought okay what you know like but honestly the first first two or three episodes. I wasn't into it I really wasn't and mrs f made me persist and it was it was fantastic i absolutely loved it so yeah give it a try that's i um i watched the uh the notorious big documentary any good that came out yeah it's good it's interesting because most of the documentaries about biggie and tupac are just about them getting uh being murdered and beefing with each other and stuff right but this this this was quite nice because it was uh you learn more about his uh his upbringing his his

mom is interviewed extensively in it um puffy is is is in it as well and um it's just sort of like the you know the right i mean he's just a young guy when he when he was killed yeah yeah um but you know just interesting to see where he grew up the people he grew up with the stuff he was he was getting into the people that sort of like mentored him or tried to and um yeah it was just it was just really well done really interesting worth a watch for sure there's a really good clip on youtube i'm sure it made it into the the show of him freestyling in like a freestyle yeah that's like a legendary clip. It is. He's like 19 years old. Dude, he's like 15. Apparently he's like so young there.

But he's so good. He's just got that presence. Yeah. And that voice and his flow is so, so good. Yeah. And he's just, you knew. Like you look at people rapping and stuff and there's always something about someone

that just stands out where you're like, oh shit, guy's good it is it can be such a subtle difference between someone's just going to be another rapper who you know maybe they could do it but are they going to really stand out he had it all man yeah i love biggie yeah so here's a book i have been reading a friend of mine called sarah who's a one of my mods sent me a package of goodies from texas she sent me a book called speak tean in 30 Minutes or Less. Nice. And I've got some phrases in here that are pretty good. I thought we could work some of these in.

There's a snake in my boot. One of them is, you don't want a Texan to say, you're as ugly as a mud fence. But you do want a Texan to say, well, you're as handy as hip pockets on a hog. Nice. Hip pockets on a hog. I like that. I like that.

Handy as hip pockets on a hog. Yeah. Wow. They're both very countryside kind of things. So you can describe someone who is all talk and no substances. He's all hat and no cattle, i think is a very texan reference very very and cows yeah so um and as ugly as homemade soap which is a very specific insult uh to use on someone homemade which i quite like tighter than bark on a tree means

you're very stingy right um tighter than bark on a tree oh that's very stingy. Right. Tighter than bark on a tree. Oh, that's good as well. But you do want them to say, well, he's big enough to hunt bear with a switch. A switch being a very small twig. That's a good one. A twig. A twig. But you don't want a text to say, you don't know whether to scratch your watch or wind your butt, which I is is a good one

that's really good nice i they're all so like kind of chummy friendly joking light-hearted aren't they they're very warm yeah they're very warm like um do you know what they are they are i've got a word for it here the velicore which is the the strange wistfulness of used bookshops that warm feeling okay what is the term for wishing that you didn't have um such a big pot belly that is preventing you from gaining the agility to um suck your own wiener is there a term for that that's called middle age right just like all encompassing that is just a part of being middle age you can no longer it's a combination of so many different factors number one you do just you do just start to get a little thicker yeah you know what i mean like i i've definitely

you bulk out yeah thicker and i i've like i remember when i was like 18 i was i was like a stick i weighed like a championship whip it you were just like it was like nothing nothing to just bones yeah bones and like very lean small amount of muscle that was there was very distinct because there was no fat my body fat was like zero when i look at myself now i think i didn't like i don't eat that badly you know no but your metabolism slows down. You're like, you know, it's just the way it goes. You just get thicker. Yeah. Old men especially just get bellies, right?

But listen, right? There is a benefit. You know, you wake up in the morning, you pad downstairs, you know, you head into the kitchen, you open the sort of cupboard at your waist, you get out the tin of beans. Yeah. You open the tin. Right. Put a spoon in there.

Yeah. Head into the lounge. I know where this is the lounge kick back on the sofa yeah have a little spoonful of beans and bounce it pack that all into oh yeah while you're watching the telly you know you've got the ready-made little shelf there for your for your tin that's true you know that's true so just just think about that there are some good things that come out of this. It's not all negative. I feel it gives you a more jolly persona. My kids certainly enjoy poking me in the belly and laughing. I think it gives you a kind of more gentle appearance, outward appearance of a slightly jolly dad. You know what I mean?

See, what I do is I make a big effort to hold my breath, like suck it in so that nobody can see it. But then when I'm on my own, I just let it all hang out. I know a few guys that do that, that permanently walk around sucking in their gut. It's apparently... It's become a habit. Well, no, but it's actually, it's apparently quite good for you to do though, because it works like some of your core muscles. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. But can you be bothered to do that all day? No. like some of your core muscles yeah oh yeah but you could can you be bothered to do that all day no how am i meant to play in a in a high quality professional game of dota yeah i mean listen i'm at the point now where if i slouch in a certain way uh most of my shirts will ride up and expose belly yeah yeah um so like that's that's where i'm coming from uh nowadays more or less like if i'm slouching that the belly is hanging out oh by the way just a tiny bit talking about doter i had an email the other day um you know you know i've got like two emails i've got my real email address and i've got the one that i put on twitter that

i get business requests and partnerships and red shadow legends emails about and this guy said to me i understand that you are predominantly a professional dotota 2 esport player and occasional streamer, but he wanted to work with me. I just thought, you know, he's really missed it there that I am a professional Dota 2 player. Primarily, professional Dota 2 player. That's, I would say, I'm not a professional Dota 2 player. I am the professional Dota 2 player. You've got to feel a little bit flattered, though, anyway, though, right?

No, I just know he hasn't done his homework. He would know that I'm number one in the world. You have to be careful with these things. You would reach out. I get loads of these emails every week now from people who are like, Hey, Lewis, really enjoyed watching Shadow of Israfil back in the day. Can I interest you with 10%? We've increased the brand uptake of emails by 10% in our mobilization marketing strategy.

Are Yogscast Limited interested in this? And it's like, what the fuck? But there's 10 of them a week from different people, different companies, different clients. It's this new wave of clever spam. Phishing spam and stuff. I got one yesterday, a text message that said to me hell let me find it for you this was supposedly from the royal mail right um from just a random number which is always going to be bullshit royal dash mail your parcel is waiting for delivery please confirm the settlement

of 199 on the following link then there's a link to rm-uk-delivery1.com. And I'm thinking, okay, so that's a load of absolute bollocks, but there's so many of them now. And to most people, they're thinking, oh, yeah, I know what that is. Because especially during lockdown, everybody's ordering stuff all the time. So you could easily fall for that. And it's probably just a cheap way for them to get two quid. And if they just send it out to every bugger, you know, enough people are going to fall for it. It's just this kind of stuff is out there, man. Like this fishing. And a lot of these marketing things,

I don't think are much different. They're just blanket blasting everybody. They get this list of email addresses and they just like vaguely personalize it by mentioning Shadows of Israfil. And then they just plug in that to a million different people. It's annoying. It's really professional spam. So anyway, there's some other words got some other words you want to hear

them i think a couple of these are feelings you might have heard okay one of them is opiate yeah which is the the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye which feels simultaneously invasive and vulnerable i can't say that I've ever felt that one. Wow. That's a very specific. Some of these are just, I'm confused. You could just sum it up as, I don't think you could specify. You don't feel something weird when you look people in the eye?

Like, I'm really uncomfortable making eye contact with people. I think most people are, though. That's the thing. It's not something that you... But some people almost, like, sexually aggressively stare you in the eyes. That's different, I guess. I think it depends what you're talking about. Like there are some people who you can be just talking about the weather and they're like looking deeply into your eyes and you think, Jesus, that's too much. fighting something in me or it's a really intense conversation, then you look someone in the eye

because you're listening, properly, properly listening, not just sort of waiting for your turn to talk sort of thing. So I think, I mean, geez, I look people in the eye quite often, but when I think about it, I look my kids in the eye a lot. Kids really do look you right in the eye when they talk to you. It can be about anything. And they really look right at you and you look right back at them. And there's no, it's your kids. So there's no sort of discomfort there.

But it's as you get older, I think you start to doubt yourself in a more metaphysical way. And maybe that's why people tend to look away. It's easy to just talk when you're not looking because you don't have to,

you don't have to really connect with the other person. And maybe it's easier. In order to listen well, I have to close my eyes though I feel like often. I just thought you were bored when we were talking. He's like falling asleep. I'm having a conversation with Lewis. Don't worry. person and maybe in order to listen well i have to close my eyes though i feel like often i just thought you were bored when we were talking he's like falling i'm having a conversation with lewis

don't worry no no i just have to close my eyes to concentrate no he's got to do he does that steve job steve jobs thing where he rubs his temples with like his pinky fingers like when he's speaking to people oh shit so there's a couple more here uh rubitosis is the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat oh i get that all the time i get that that's related to anxiety and it's not unsettling it's just like i don't know if i feel unsettled when i hear but just sometimes i'm aware of it like sometimes um when i go to bed i'll lay down i can almost like feel my heart like in my ears or something like you know when you're you're like laying on your pillow yeah um but i don't feel like stuff i've had with the uh the operation and all the heart stuff that's made me acutely aware of my heartbeat over the last

few years to the point where even just hearing it is alarming and that's why i wear a fitbit to be able to actually look at a printout that says oh this is your heart rate because i'm like because it seems faster when you're listening to it and you're worried about an increase, like a rate that's spiraling. So that's like the source of all my anxiety attacks was always that my heart rate was going up. So having a machine tell me, no, no, don't be stupid. It's normal. That's just like instantly calms me down so that is a very real but that's i think that's linked to anxiety more than just an awareness of your heartbeat some of these aren't emotions like the underlying emotion there is anxiety about something else there is a couple

one of them is lack lack of lack of system the the desire to be struck by disaster for example to survive a plane crash or to run out of a fire wow that kind of bizarre do you ever get that kind of edge of the void call of the void kind of feeling that like just for a split second like a fraction of a second when you're on the edge of the cliff you think i wonder if wonder what it would be like to jump off this i do sometimes yeah sometimes like a split second sure yeah that is a weird weird thing though i wonder where that stems from that is a weird thing yeah i think it's because we are aware of ourselves and stuff like that that we can think that way it's sort of thing you know like we can we have an imagination we can we can

imagine like a scenario sort of thing but you always imagine it as like a like a bystander of yourself right like you don't i don't imagine it like how how would i feel like you know seeing the ground like come towards me when i imagine it i'm like watching myself fall off the cliff you know what i mean like from a distance like which i guess is also part of us being aware do you wonder if in a way imagining a terrible thing and then it not happening is just a reaffirmation sort of you know psychologically you're thinking didn't fall off that cliff pretty good that's a w for me big win i don't know like i i find especially now with kids like i i imagine

things happening a lot a lot more not to myself like but to to kids. They'll be outside and I'll think, oh my God, what if a car just suddenly sped into our driveway and nobody was ready for it and hit one of them? And you're like, oh fuck, what can I do to make sure that that doesn't happen or keep them safer sort of thing? But don't you run over those scenarios in your head? I do that thing where I'm thinking, what if someone grabbed one of the kids and tried to run off with them? Like, it's almost like preparing mentally. What if they busted into the bathroom when I was in the bath full of like beans? I don't know if it's a, I don't know if it's, they saw me eating the beans. that or like if i you know can be bothered to analyze it after i've had a thought like that i just think that it's your brain's way of sort of keeping you alert knowing that you're you're responsible for other people you know and not just yourself so you have to just be sort of like

not like i i feel like my brain is like okay you can't really be complacent here just you know be aware and and watch them or whatever and and it'll be fine i think you need to be aware of that you're that that's what's happening as well like like you've just said i think that you are like you know otherwise i think you just be anxious if you were at stage one of that i think stage two is that i have a reason to be anxious my brain is conjuring up these images to because i care and i want to protect you know my my kid i don't you know but but at the same time that doesn't mean you have to be anxious because i think it does make you anxious if you have this subconscious fear that you know at any second he might run into the road and get hit by a lorry

or something god it must be terrible to constantly have this because there must be hundreds of ways a tree could fall down my fucking plane could crash a bomb could go off you're responsible for them kids aren't kids don't think like this like they you know they don't see the danger they don't you know they don't understand they're just like they're they you know they're outside and they're losing their minds because it's not inside you know like it's as simple as that sort of thing but they felt this as well you know when i was having that bath of baked beans in your house yeah well i mean after i told you not to and there you were i just finished doing up so

you tweeted this there was a clip of you this week that went out on your youtube channel where you were like i don't think lewis has ever taken a shit in my house um and if he has he did it really quickly pulled a fast one on me he did a really i actually i actually replied on the the youtube video but it got blocked because i said i have totally taken a shit into this house that was my reply but because i said the word shit it got filtered out so did you actually take a shit in my house i've i've taken about 10 shits in your house probably i've been there like 25 times i know but i just figured that like you were shitting at the hotel i didn't realize you were just like fucking pinching a loaf of my look i'm i'm not a messy shitter so you wouldn't have known it's like it's like um i i tidy up

after myself my diet is very hot okay i mean just i we're back on this point again unfortunately but i just want to stipulate as well i i lewis is not a stranger right like i don't mind actually if lewis takes a shit in my house like it's i'm i'm more talking about like the one of the family the plumber is around and he's meant to be fixing pipes he's like mind if i just take a quick shit in your house no no find somewhere else to shit fix my pipes and get the fuck out of here like that's you know what i mean like i'm not letting some stranger shit in my house the same the same feeling you do like when you know when we went out with the kids and stuff i was i was i was as paranoid as you were about i don't know

like your kids running into the sea or something yeah like tripping on the rock i was like watch out for them but it's especially since they're just rushing around like crazy yeah people you think oh it's only a matter of time before one of them cracks their head open on a something. You know what? There's a TED talk by Brene Brown. And she's like a psychological researcher. And she analyzes human emotions and stuff like that. She's got some really good talks.

And one of them was about anxiety and it like worrying about things that haven't happened and are unlikely to happen or even if they are likely to happen what purpose does worrying about them actually serve because if you worried about your kid being abducted and you became obsessed with it and you thought about it all the time yeah if they were abducted would you feel less bad because you'd spent years worrying about it of course like worrying about something isn't going to make your reaction to that thing if it does happen it's not going to make it any better no so essentially if you can figure that out then really you can put aside a lot of those worries because you realize this is actually serving not only serving no purpose but it wouldn't even make me feel better if it did happen to think

knew that was going to happen you're not going to think that there's no satisfaction point of view i mean i guess some people do this though i'm not sitting around worrying about this stuff no i don't i don't for one minute think that this is gonna happen but again i'm aware enough to know for example not to leave my kids you know ever sort of thing because then it has more of a chance of happening again i'm not sitting around um you know with my teeth chattering i'm sweating profusely thinking this is going to happen at any moment like i'm fairly confident it's not going to i don't want to jinx it or anything but you've also rationalized it out in your head that you know that this isn't helpful and that of course yeah but you still you still think about this stuff and you think, there's certain things that I know tangibly I can do

to fully prevent this from ever happening. And they're easy things that I incorporate into my life every day. And that's why I don't have anxiety. Carry a gun at all times. That's why I have an automatic rifle on me at all times, in my car, strapped to my back. And I have a fairly sizable hunting knife uh safely stored in a pocket on my belt as well because you never know and uh that's why i

feel better when a wild lion or bear may come busting out wildly and you may have to take that bad boy down that's right yeah yeah in a texan way. In a very- With a, what was it? With a switch. With a switch. Fight him with a switch. Big enough to hunt bear with a switch. It's a Texan. You've got to take him down with a Texan pile driver or what.

There's always like some Texan something, right? It's a big place. Yeah. A Texan. So let me leave you with one more word. One final word is chrysalism, which is the amniotic, I guess, womb-like tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm. I love that. Okay, that I have felt many times and it is such a wonderful feeling.

I love that. I like being under a balcony or some awning and it's pissing it down and there's lightning and thunder and you're sitting there close to it but not in it that is very satisfying i love you can smell the rain and i love that feeling of of being very aware of how powerful nature is but at the same time being safe from it you know yeah i can use that reminder we live like a five minute walk from the sea and uh if there's a storm uh or or there's a storm coming you'll really hear the waves like you know like and we're quite you know we're we're not like right on the sea you know like it's still like a good five minute walk or whatever but you can hear them loud as anything like it out at night when it's quiet and stuff you just hear and you can

just imagine all these waves and stuff and you you just think, fuck me, man. Nature's crazy. Like it's so powerful. Like, you know, at any given moment, if nature just decided that's it, we're fucking toast. Like there's nothing we can do to stop it. Right. It's a lot of water. Get the switch.

Yeah, exactly. It's crazy. But yeah, no. The only other thing I would say, a feeling that feels great relating to rain and thunder and stuff like that, is I don't know if you've ever had this, but you're out doing errands or something, and it just starts fucking pouring rain and you get drenched. There's no avoiding it. You have to finish these things that you're doing.

You're like slogging around, you know, getting these things done. You're wet. Your feet are all wet and everything. And then you get home and you put on like a nice warm crisp uh new pair of clothes and you dry off and stuff oh shit you're right i love that you have a cup of tea very similar but not the same it's a dip like i do you want to make up a word for that right now just heaven i i can't i can't uh emphasize it enough it's just such a great i love that feeling it's so like comfortable and cozy and like especially especially if you get back and your mom is like

getting you these clothes and like putting on a cup of tea for you and stuff and you're just all you have to do is just like get out of wet clothes and somebody's there helping you sort of thing i love that feeling too it's really nice oh yeah a wonderful world i i think hopefully that will leave people feeling warm fuzzy thank you for listening i hope you guys are all doing all right out there we're almost we're almost out the other side of this hellish year uh yeah and i've since we sort of asked a lot earlier in the podcast just for people to send us pictures of what they were doing on their jobs and stuff i felt more in touch with i still get those yes i see them yeah it's nice it's nice to see yeah so tweet at us with what you're up to um and what books you've read

and stuff like that i'm interested to read anyway it's great i love it so i hope everyone out there is doing all right and thanks for listening everybody thank you see you next time see you next week. Yeah. Goodbye. Bye.