Triforce! - Triforce! #175: Sips' Sewer Horror

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

Triforce! Episode 175! It's the end of sport and the end of religion but the beginning of sewer horror and wild conspiracies! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce to get an extra 3 months free on a one-year package. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. Now through April 15th, get 30% off all Sephora collection. Also, for beauty insiders, get 10% off the rest of your purchase on brands like Glow Recipe, Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez, Amika, and more. Don't wait. Shop at Sephora today. Exclusions and terms apply. Discounts not combinable. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do.

Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Sorry if I'm loud. Go turn me down.

No, you're fine. I've turned you down. Just tone it down, please. It's really early in the morning. You're getting like overexcited and stuff. Come on. Hello.

Welcome back, everyone, to the Tri-Force podcast. Apparently, I'm too high energy this morning, which I'm delighted to hear. Listen to him. He's like, you can hear the sweat flying off of his brow as he's speaking. He's like, hey, guys. We had to restart the podcast. Yeah, we had to restart it. Because it was so high energy.

We had to yell at him and tell him to tone it down. And he's only come back. And it's high octane again. And he's only come back. And it's high octane again. I'm the energizer bunny joined by an old wrinkly iguana lizard thing. Is that me? Period. Yeah, that's you.

A bald, angry reptile. Oh, yeah. There he is. That eats grapes. And Sips, who I would consider to be a little ferret-y creature living in a basement. Right. Hanging out. Yeah. Kind of cute.

Yeah, I know. How are you picturing yourself in this trio? I am a bunny that's been wound up. Oh, so you're like a high-energy little cute bunny. Sips lives in a basement, apparently. Even though you were the basement dweller. That's the bit that you chose. That's the bit that you chose. And I am a fucking wrinkly old iguana.

Well, look, I just picture you this way. I don't know. Sometimes you have to, you know, I think about people's fursonas from time to time. Fursona? What people would be if they were an animal. You fucking disgusted me. I got the vaccine a couple of days ago.

I wish I could be vaccinated against internet shit like that. Hey, you know what? I also got the vaccine a couple of days ago on Saturday, in fact. How did it make you feel? Do you know what? I got it in the morning. It was like 11 o'clock in the morning. I got home.

I felt fine all day. No side effects, no nothing. I was like 11 o'clock in the morning i got home i felt fine all day no no side effects no no nothing i was like okay great you know like i guess uh i guess i'm not gonna get any side effects and then that night when the moon came out all of a sudden i didn't turn into werewolf or anything uh i just got like the shivers a lot you know like flu-like symptoms i got right i got like the the shakes and the shivers just felt a little bit like you know you can feel like uh you can feel something coming on sort of thing. Yeah.

I had a little bit of a headache. So I went to bed and I was like, you know, OK, I'll probably just like sweat it out in the night or whatever, because that's just kind of how my my system works or whatever. And sure enough, I was like sweating like crazy all night long. But I woke up on Sunday with like just the the the whitest hot cranial pain you've ever just like a dead sheet next to you in the bed yeah oh and it was it was it was all your clothes were ripped off yeah and i had but i had a boner as well which was uh the weird part but no i had a really i had a really bad headache when i woke up uh so the bit you remembered from Twilight.

Yeah. So I took some paracetamol because they advised to take it if you were having side effects or whatever. And then all through Sunday, I just felt a little bit tender, you know, had a headache in the background that the paracetamol was like, you know, keeping at bay. Just a little bit sort of like shivery and flu-y, I guess. And then Sundayay night went to bed woke up monday it was fun so well yeah i uh i had it on i think i had it on monday i had it on monday right at about 6 30 p.m um and then i felt fine that day fine into the evening no problem woke up the next day same deal pounding headache yeah i felt awful all day what did you have astrazeneca yeah the oxford

az one so yeah i had the same and then wednesday also felt bad any clotting still there i hope not any big clots no no hopefully not attack of the return of the clots no no clot attack no no yeah i felt bad all day yesterday and woke up this morning and my arm was fucking killing me like it was just so stiff where they jabbed me. Yeah. And it's a little swollen as well. And I was like, damn. But I feel a lot better today than I did.

Yeah. Yeah. Interesting that you had the same effect because you'd already had COVID. Yeah. I thought that you would have. I thought that too. I thought you'd have a different effect. But no, it's exactly the same.

It's just the way that your immune system deals with, you know, like your immune system, your body like will deal with stuff differently or the same for the most part. Like I find any time I'm going to be sick or coming down with something, a virus or whatever, it's always the same. I get sore muscles, like, you know, like i'll get like stiff uh shoulders or like arms or something like that and then i'll get like kind of shivery in the evenings um and like a robot just and then i'll and then i'll be like sweating it out my body will just like heat up at night try to like sweat it out and usually that's that's enough to get it sort of thing

um when i was i was streaming on tuesday when the effects were at their worst, we had the in houses. So I got into two games instead of three because it felt so rough. And everyone was like, oh, your reaction is bad because you have such a strong immune system. And I was like, that sounds like bollocks. I understand the science, the idea behind it. But I was a very sickly kid and I do get sick quite badly. Like i had covid it was way worse than most people i know my age group that had it when i when i was younger i had let me see i had mumps i had constant tonsillitis i had to have my tonsils out jeez i had whooping cough when i was younger i had appendicitis i had to have my appendix out oh my god um glandular I had glandula fever This is a fucking miracle

That you're even here I was out there playing Hoop and stick in the road The boy next to me with his top hat He bent down and kneeled to me And said good sir Thou clearly has mumps Look at the how swollen thy neck glands are

I can imagine It's Victorian times. You're like, oh, please, sir, take me to the poor house, the almshouse, the infirmary. Oh, it's filled with boys, orphans like me from the streets of London. So I'm enjoying this visual image of you. As Tiny Tim.

In the UK, it's 42 and over now right in the uk for uh for eligibility to um to get vaccinated yeah because mrs f had hers done yesterday oh okay um so yeah i think it's uh don't want to give away her age no no no we can we can guess we can guess she's probably like 25 with complications so yeah this year is our 20th anniversary 20th wedding anniversary is this year in september i'm only joking so you could figure she's probably at least 38 right i assume we got married at 18 we didn't we were in our early 20s so it's uh it's one of those things but yeah you know geez yeah she looks better than ever so she's just a fine woman well that's good that's good um

yeah the eligibility for vaccines here is slightly less because it's a smaller place it's like 40 between ages 40 and up now like can have been able to to go in and and get vaccinated and stuff but like i think half of the population here half the adult population here is done right i know most of the oldies have had both jabs i'm hoping the second jab isn't as bad because i figure at that point your body should know what the fuck it's doing like i've had covid you get the antibody jab i don't know if you've spoken to many people but there's like um people who are like oh yeah well if you get this jab apparently you have these symptoms and then the second jab isn't as bad but then if you have this

other one right uh the second jab is the worst and then everybody i've spoken spoken to who has had AstraZeneca said the first one, they felt a bit ropey. And then the second one, there was nothing. So I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. This is like some high-level nerd stuff, though, right? People who are really looking into all of the...

I just... I don't... I mean, they're the kind of people who would sneer at the AstraZeneca one and be like, oh, i'm getting the i don't want the inferior jab i want my yeah yeah because it's a set like was it like 75 percent uh effective or whatever which is actually pretty good in uh in vaccine terms but because the other ones have like higher numbers uh it's always gonna be some little experts people who there's like yeah there's min maxers out there

want to maximize their chances of not not getting it or whatever flax has already had it so he's like the ultimate min maxer right you think so already had it and he's getting the vaccine as well so this week i'd be feeling um a bit inferior as always in um like what like context well so obviously since the queen's gambit i've talked about this before i've been given youtube youtube videos on chess right and i've slowly been playing chess every week you know i'll see some clickbaity chess video as a result i watch a lot of get sucked in yeah they're great and so i end up watching a lot of chess videos so i decided i was going to play a couple of games of chess. And obviously I just get my ass kicked by, you know, four-year-olds or instantly try some wacky thing.

I'm just, I don't know. My brain can't handle looking multiple moves ahead, I don't think. It's like, I think like, oh, if I go here and he'll go here and then I'm like, there's like a popping sound in my head and I'm like my there's like a popping sound in my head and i i'm like dizzy and i can't i can't like i can't like uh calculate any further than that i just it just it just it's like it's like trying to hold on to strands of like grades of sand slipping through my fingers right i can't visualize i think it's easier easier to think this is certainly i've

played a reasonable amount online chess not as much as what's your uh what's your what's your elo it doesn't matter it's it's all against the computer so it's completely it doesn't matter like whatever your elo is it only matters against people really playing against a computer doesn't mean it sounds like somebody's got a low hello no it's not it's all right but it's only like i said it's only against a computer and the thing is a computer's ai has personalities the ones i play against chess.com right so you get to know their openings and their style and what they're going to go for. So you can sort of counter it. Anyway, try not to think about like, how can I get checkmate?

I think it's easier to think about how can I get board position and force them to make mistakes and bad trades and win the game that way, rather than, oh, I'll think of some 15 move ahead checkmate. Because if one thing goes wrong you've got to re-evaluate your entire plan right like just think about how can i get this square which is going to be an important one and hold pin his pieces in place how can i force a fork you know and try to get pieces and good trades rather than yeah thinking that 18 moves ahead just think of simply what would be a move here that would make my position stronger and

threaten something that he would have to respond to yeah totally i mean i i've always been quite leery of chess because of the fact that it's kind of lumped into that same pool of games as monopoly and go and also i don't know you're putting chess go monopoly okay okay forget about monopoly sorry like first of all the old games maybe Bridge is in there but certainly Drafts and well older games

right even Snakes and Ladders is in there it's kind of games that you are aware of that are old that have been around since you were a kid

you learned them when you were a kid either you were forced to play them or you know you at least learn them so I've always known I've always known how to play chess because I think you at least learn them so i i've always known i've always known how to play chess because i think everyone as as a kid at some point learns to play chess and

i think like you said like i was talking to rich about it in the office and he was like oh yeah yeah just learn a bunch of openings get a good board position and then you just you know just be careful and then you'll usually win because they'll make a mistake and i'm like oh that's good advice but then i realized so I read a quote that was like, play the early game like a book, play the mid-game like a magician, and play the end game like a machine. I don't know who that quote was from, but I really liked it because it definitely is right.

I'm sure that these, you know, you can basically, if you're willing to put the time in to learn all these openings, you can do the first sort of 10, 15 moves just out of a book. And I guess that's why it's inherently more difficult for black, because if you're white, you can just learn one kind of opening and the reactions to that, right? And if he reacts in this way, I do this. If he reacts in this way, I do this.

Whereas when you're playing black, you don't know what white's opening is going to be necessarily, so you're constantly on the back foot, it feels like. Anyway, I just thought it was really interesting because i played a few games and and doug had came into the office and was like oh i see you're playing chess and i'm like oh yeah i don't know really what i'm doing and doug was like oh i'll give you a game so i was like okay i see you're playing chess it's not your own fucking business no so so we he he loaded, so he loaded up.

So we loaded up a game because obviously we don't have a real chess set or anything. We just sat next to each other on these computers and played online. And obviously, like early in, we were only playing for like a minute and he moved his queen somewhere where I could take it with my bishop. And he went, oh, no. As soon as he'd done my bishop and i was like and he went oh no like as soon as he'd done it and i was like oh no i can't not take this now but after that i'd sort of crushed his spirit because i just told him i was a noob i didn't know what he did what i was doing and he was thinking i'm gonna have a fun game here man he should have known better though like uh he's known you a long time he should have known better. But anyway, I just, I just, I, I didn't particularly,

um, enjoy it. I've never particularly enjoyed chess. I think because I just feel like there's so much, I'm just never gonna, I can't, I can never perform. Well,

I don't know. It's like playing football. It's just practice. It's just practice. I think the boring part of it is that you just need to learn loads and loads of openings and moves and sequences and formations you want to get into and stuff. If anything, it's just mathematical. I'd say it doesn't require any skill to get reasonable at it. If you want to be amazing at it, those guys are ridiculously good.

But a lot of the time, they've studied endlessly, and they just play all the time. And people like Magnus Carlsen and guys like that are just amazing at the game. They see it much more clearly than other people. And the moves they make are brilliant. And it'll often be one or two moves in a whole game that are anything unusual, but that's enough to tip it and they win.

So, I mean, if you just want to be average at chess and be able to have decent games, don't stress. It's just, you know, it's just practice. I just, I don't know. Like, there's just something inherently, like, I don't necessarily get a lot of joy out of it. Maybe it just bores you.

Feeling, knowing constantly that I'm not doing, I'm not, I don't have the capacity to kind of... Lewis, no one's judging you. This is, I think that you're worried. I am. Well, Simps is judging you. I'm judging him. I'm not. I am so disappointed you think you know i'm judging myself you think you know why

and it turns out you say you're just like a crying a crying little bitch about his chess i didn't do the opening um the sardinian crush as the opener and I'm not feeling too good about myself. Come on, it's chess. This is how you're meant to have fun. You know, like you're meant to do some buyakashas when you take their pieces and then, you know, you guys slap each other's asses and go out for a beer after it's all done.

It's good. I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. I was reading a thing about i need to change my attitude really actually you were 100 right you gotta change your game plan on this one i need to do the more booyaka shots i'm not that's the thing i'm not that's what you're missing but do you do you think chess could be could benefit from having a bit more booyaka shot and a bit more sort of fun to it because in i'll give an example right they're

worried the football guys the baseball guys and all these guys the the guys that own the clubs and the rights and all these these big teams yeah are worried that young people aren't watching their sport no so one of the things the super league was meant to do was make younger people more interested in football because it'd be more exciting games you wouldn't have to watch burnley versus west brom in the premier league you know you can go watch ac AC Milan against Man U every week. That was one of the big pushes that they were making for that. And in baseball, the concern is that the game is too slow.

Right. Much too slow. And these companies and these people are always trying to come up with ways to jazz things up. Now, chess, if you've ever watched live chess, like you can watch videos on YouTube of live chess, it's incredibly boring. It's basically two people sitting there leaning over a board thinking and then one of them will reach for and then take his hand back and then move move a piece and then sit back and the other guy thinks for a second and then if it's

blitz chess and they're running out of time then it's just constant pieces moving you can't see what the fuck's happening anyway yeah because you're watching it at an angle because and also you're not a like even it's like being in twitch chat when someone's doing a puzzle game on twitch and you'll sit there back seating and they're thinking about the puzzle when you've seen the solution or at least what you think is the solution and you're just waiting for them to either make that move or you're frustrated when they don't um and then yeah blitz chess is they're doing a puzzle faster than you can calculate so there's no way to follow it's you might as well just be watching a fireworks display. Do you know what I mean?

It's just mindless. But exciting just from the idea of just seeing them physically knock each other's pieces over as they do it. But so with baseball, one of the things, baseball has a lot of unwritten rules. One of them is you don't steal the signs. So one of the things the pitcher does is he looks at the catcher and the catcher gives him signs of what pitch he thinks the pitcher should throw.

I don't know why the catcher has any fucking say in it. Surely it's the pitcher's job. But anyway. Yeah, but the catcher's got to catch it when the pitcher jukes the batter, though. So the catcher's got to be ready, like if there's a curve on it or whatever. Because if he misses it, that's embarrassing. That's why they've got to coordinate with each other. Right, but assuming he's going to throw a pitch within that box.

And also the batter can see how the guy is standing and stuff too. He has a better view on the batter than the pitcher does. Wait, the pitcher can see the batter? No, yeah. He's just there. He's right there. The pitcher's staring deep into the batter's eyes, trying to psych him out, whereas the catcher is sort of like looking at his glutes,

looking at his hamstrings and stuff, trying to see where he's shifting his weight and all that. You know, it's intricate. It's a lot more intricate than you think. They're relaying information to each other. I'm telling you guys about it. I'm not saying it's not intricate. I'm just saying I'm confused.

Unless it's literally the catcher throwing signs up so that he knows what's coming. But I feel there is some element of strategy there. I watched part of a documentary about sports psychology. I think I know what I'm talking about.

Okay, sorry. I didn't mean to question your credentials. No, I'm just joking. I didn't even watch five minutes of a documentary about that. But I did play some baseball at school. They want to baseball up they want to jazz it up and one of the things they want to do is shorten the time between the the pitches because at the moment it can be like a couple of minutes between a ball being thrown because the guy the pitcher gets up on the mound

the batter comes out he's fanning about getting his bat he's tightening his glove straps he's adjusting his cap and his hat he's getting everything just ready he gets up to the plate he gets his feet just right meanwhile the pitcher is is rolling the ball in his hand he's spit on his hands and rubbing them together you know he's getting some some of the rosin on his hands and everything he's then he's leaning in he's taking the signs from the catcher catchy the pitch is shaking him off no no i don't want to throw fastball i throw cutter and then the batter says whoa whoa timeout he steps out of the box he stretches his arms he readjusts his gloves and do that over and over and over for nine innings and the game just it's fucking dull like it is super but it's an old game and it's been around a long time and i think that

it's still appreciated by um a ton of people i don't think they have to jazz it up much at all i think the the the personality of the players is is going to be uh like a big part of that like jazzing it up some people are just more exciting to watch than others and um you know some teams uh suck for a while and then they you know a couple of good trades they get good again, whatever. Like, I don't think they need to make any sweeping changes

to baseball. I think it's been fine and will be fine for some time. Okay, you're wrong. I mean, that's the whole point.

But you're a big, you're half the audience who doesn't want it to change. I love baseball. But you've got to say that a lot of the audience don't want it to change and will be very resistant

No, no, but here's the point. It will die. Stadiums are still full of fans. People are still buying merchandise. It's all older people. That's the point. It's the same with football. You go to the Premier League grounds, it's not full of kids.

It used to be teenagers and 20-something guys would go to football because they could afford it. Now it's all middle-aged guys. What happens when the middle-aged guys get too old to go or decide they don't want to go anymore or die? Well, their kids will start going and will be middle-aged at that point. You know what I mean? But if you haven't been going to football for 30 years,

why would you suddenly start going? That's their concern. Also, the middle-aged guys aren't the ones buying shirts for for a family of four to go to football now is prohibitively expensive i don't know i see a lot of middle-aged guys wearing football shirts still honestly like i think they are buying shirts not in the way that they want they want them to buy them constantly constantly constantly constantly new kit name on the back all that kind of stuff they want that they want a younger crowd this is is this is the same old though they want growth they want exponential growth year on year on year and something that probably can grow a bit but not how they expect

it you know they're they're they the people who want to make money off of this want it to scale up and up and up and up endlessly right right? Like, that's just how everything works. It's how capitalism and the free market and these systems work. You're absolutely right. The fact is that- It's not going anywhere. In order for the executives to get their multi-million pound bonus, the thing has to grow. And they end up in this vicious cycle, which, you know, the prices have to go up and they

have to hard sell these things. And that excludes people and it drives people out and the cycle will destroy it. The greed cycle that all business operates under would eventually lead to its failure. All right, all I'm saying is if you disagree with... I don't think in 10 years' time... If you disagree with what I'm saying...

The stadiums are all going to be empty because a bunch of Zoomers have decided not to follow football. Just honestly go and read the reports and go and go and read about the things that the clubs are worried about and see for yourself what they're worried about how the demographic is changing and what it might mean because if you're sure go and have a look well for sure football go to football's shit it's fucking shit they're not going to convince you you get fucking you get stressed out playing chess they're not going to get you. You get fucking, you get stressed out playing chess. They're not going to get you.

What if I went to football? Even when I was a football fan. What if I dropped my hot dog? I had a season ticket to Ipswich Town when I was younger. Well, there's your first problem. No wonder. You know, I'd go up on the train and it was like a dirty stadium and I had to eat horrible dirty pie and I was surrounded by sweaty shouty dirty smelly people

what what age demographic would you say these people were middle-aged yeah i mean it's uh it was it was not a pleasant thing to to i'm just squinting to see anything that happened because it was so far away you know i don't know like well they get they get kids in by giving them cheap tickets and they hope that that's gonna mean that they stick around but the thing is if as a kid you can get in for a five or a ten or whatever when you're an adult now it costs you know you have to buy a ticket which costs a lot or a season ticket which costs a fortune if you're supporting a big club the season tickets are like sold out the only way i've been to premier league games is if bournemouth are playing them and i get an away ticket which is hard enough in itself or I know people who have season tickets for the game and I go and sit in their seats

That's the only way I've ever been to a Premier League game. It's very very hard to get you can't just stroll up baseball It's a bit different when I went to see the Mariners when I was in Seattle the baseball team. We just fucking walked up They're like, yeah. Yeah, it was cheap. I mean cuz they suck Yeah, they're probably like you're probably getting nosebleed seats. No no no they were good seats Oh, they were good seats, and it was like I mean cheap as chips I think it's a community thing right I think people like the the camaraderie the singing the it's got going to at the theater Go to bed cheering something on with other people That's what it is and if you have the right people to go with or you understand the community, I think it can be very, very powerful,

this going to a local club and seeing that. That's different to the idea of Manchester United selling their brand across the world. And these premiership teams are big money. We've seen a lot of American money and foreign money come in and buy clubs in Europe because football or soccer is huge. You know, Europe's a huge market.

We sell it to South America as well. We sell it to all over the place. The Premier League is like, selling the rights to that is billions. And it's massive. Even like, what's his name? Rob McKinney or whatever, from Always Sunny.

He and Ryan Reynolds recently bought Wrexham, didn't they? Yeah, but they're clearly doing that to get a documentary out of it. I mean, there's a meme. They're not doing it for any real fucking reason. They don't even know where Wrexham is. They were like, Wales is a country?

Wrexham? Ha ha ha. It's just a fucking wheeze for them. I know, but... If I was Wrexham, I'd be livid. Well, it's because they watched this... I think apparently he watched Sunderland till i die which is this document this tv series um which is which kind of any i think he said basically that you know it reminded him of

you know his his sports fans from philly you know where he where he grew up and it was it was like the same all over the world that they were the same people going to these clubs supporting them through thick and thin and ups and downs but that i think that talking about european super league as someone who knows nothing really about any of this um as far as i understand it you know in the american sort of system they have they don't really have relegations and promotions in their leagues they have this kind of draft system where the worst teams get first pick of the good talent so they the idea is to have these set number of teams there's different there are always different leagues kind of coming up though like you'll have like for baseball for example like the one you'll see on tv

predominantly uh it's probably changed a lot the last time i watched any north american sports like in the 90s but uh so you have like major league baseball which is like you know the the one that with all the big teams that you've probably heard of on tv and all that but then right below that the is like the like a triple a league which is kind of like it's a big league it's just not as like not as massively commercialized as major league or whatever it's just a feeder yeah it is a feeder. Yeah. Like, you know, they'll have like the big teams will have kind of like, you know, like, you know, younger brother teams in that league where they're, you know, looking for scouting up talent to get them up into the major leagues. Like these are normally like younger guys or whatever. And most of most of the sports work like that. There's college basketball.

There's college football that all, you know, feed into college football that all feed into the national leagues or whatever. Do you know one of the things that's really different about American sport is the difference between the spending of the top teams and the bottom teams compared to the spending of the top teams and the bottom teams in European football. So if you look at the difference in the NBA, between the top spending team and the bottom spending team, it's about 1.3 difference. So the top team spends 33% more than the bottom team.

So they spend 1.33 to their one. If you look at the top teams in the Premier League, the top team spends about 25 times more than the bottom team. So the difference there is that we do not have a balanced structure. It is inherently unbalanced. It hasn't always been like this. It used to be that the difference between the teams was not that great. They might have bigger fan bases, but they weren't businesses

looking to destroy their rivals. This is the problem with these businessmen. They're not sports fans. They're not football fans. They're businessmen who have come in and bought these teams and decided, how can we make our team more successful which even if that means destroying the product in the short term we

will make more money and that's our entire goal so the super league was about taking these bigger teams and creating their own super product and fuck everybody else if you don't set rules then people will take the the game will will just drive itself in the direction which evolution will will take it in right why did that only start happening in the 90s if chess like you know i'm sure 100 years ago they realized that you know the more time you had to think about a move the better you do and so these games probably started going longer and longer and longer until it got ridiculous and then they were like okay we need to put a timer on, you know, because otherwise, and then it became the norm. And I'm sure at the time people were like, a chess timer?

Putting a timer into chess is going to ruin it. You know, there were certain people who decided that that was like, I'm sure there was an outcry. I'll never watch it again. So are you saying that the Super League is a good thing and we just don't understand why yet? Well, I don't know. I'm just saying that there certainly doesn't feel like there's a level playing field in the Premier League, does there?

Because it's pay to win. So there hasn't been a level playing field in Europe for a while. Why do you even watch this fixed rigged game? Why? Because I want to see my team win. I support my team. So you want to see your underdog team win against the rigged team? I want to see if we can get some good results and stay up.

Does that make them the bad guy? Of course they're the bad guy. Does that create an artificial bad guy? The guy who spent millions on his team? Wow, it's so odd. I guess that is drama, but artificial. It's not the comic book drama. You're saying it's inevitable, but most these clubs are like 100 years old or more.

This has only been an issue since Sky came in in the 90s. So the problem was we had a system where there were some dominant teams, like Liverpool, for example, were a dominant team for like a decade. They were the best team in Europe and, you know, the best team in the Premier League or the first division. And they were dominant. And they were dominant because they had the best players, not because they spent a billion pounds more than everybody else,

but because they had worked the hardest at coming up with the best tactics, at getting the best players. They scouted the best players. They had the best system. They had a good ethos, and they worked really hard, and they trained really well. I'm sure money has always been a fact. Not in the same way. Not in the same way.

Because now, for example, let's take Man City playing against, let's say, Fulham. Well, let's say even more expansively when we played against Man City. Their bench, the players that couldn't fit on the pitch because they didn't need them, were more valued than our entire team. In fact, you could pick two of those players

on their bench and they would be worth more than our entire team. The system is unbalanced because these big clubs love it that way. do not want any relegation they these american owners especially the american owners have come in i mean john henry at liverpool his team wins the premier league they win the european cup it's not enough we need our own league we've got to go more more more are we allowing that to happen we didn't have that and now we do and it's fucking money

ruins everything i'm telling you, it fucking ruins everything. I'm sick of it. Well, it's not happening, though. Oh, really? It's been delayed. They're going to come up with something in another couple of years. Their regret was not, oh, we're sorry we betrayed you with our shit idea. Their regret was, shit, the launch was really lousy.

That's it. They're looking at it from a business perspective. We didn't sell it to the people very well. We'll wait a few years. We'll try again. We'll pitch it differently. That's it. And inevitably, they're going to fuck again. We'll pitch it differently. That's it. And inevitably,

they're going to fuck off. Maybe they do have to do something, though, because like you said, you know. I'll tell you what we need them to do. I ain't watching football. We should let them fuck off.

I think it's shit. We should let them fuck off. We should restructure the whole thing. It's on a timer. One player sits on one side of the pitch. One player sits on the other. Do you know what? It really annoys me as well.

And they take turns moving players around on the pitch here's my next annoyance about football why do they feel like they have to report it in the news come on I think it's whenever I hear I'm listening to the news and the football comes on

how come football gets to be in the news I don't know I don't like it I don't like it. I don't want to hear it. It's wasted filling up my brain with useless crap. Do you know what? You're filling up my brain with useless crap. I've been doing it for 100 episodes.

160-something episodes of useless crap. And you're only just realizing this now? No. I've got something for you. Wait. Go on. Before Flax has his thing for you Can I say something Quickly

My drains are blocked again No way Really bad this time What have you been putting down there Well nothing I think it's a shared system With a nearby estate Or a block of flats

You have got an extra family member since the last time i know but there's no there's no way that all that junk that's all clogged up in there is is ours like some of it sure but like is is your fourth is your child adding a lot more shit into the toilet this stuff shouldn't really block it all up like there's got to be something in there like maybe there's like a Tonka truck in there or something. I don't know because it's like really, really blocked. Like it's unbelievable. It's just draining very slow.

Yeah, because I had my suspicions. I flushed our downstairs toilet, the guest toilet, as I like to call it. I flushed it. Guests though, not many guests get to use it. I don't believe guests are allowed to use the toilet. Instead of a very quick, you know, water down the hole, gone. I noticed that like the water rose more than usual in the toilet. And that was the warning.

So I was like, fuck, we got a blockage somewhere. Like, I don't think that there's been anything weird put down there or anything either. So I think the drains are blocked. And my wife was like, yeah, you know what so i think the drains are blocked and uh my wife was like yeah you know what i think the drains might be blocked as well so i went out this morning like a tub of army man well it's gonna be like i'll tell you we i opened up the manhole behind the house this morning just to double check before like i phoned i phoned somebody this time to come in and sort it out because i don't want to spend more time doing that it was so awful the first time i went when

i went around there you were looking you were stashed it over a manhole looking down into a drain it's a very bad thing to do i've seen my dad i've graduated from that school i don't want to do it anymore so so i've had to call the school of shit school of the school of hard shits so i've had to call the school of shit the school of hard shits so i've had to call a company out to look at it but so i lifted up the manhole and there's like a pattern on the back of the manhole and there was so much like toilet paper and junk in there that it there it was like shaped like the back cover of the manhole like it had you know molded in into it it's so full of stuff so it's not moving it's it's paper there were little turds like there was like food oh my god it stunk like hell like just behave yourselves because if you go to hell and it's my manhole

you're in for it i'm telling you it's not nice it's not nice that is such an incentive oh god it's gross it was it's really something else so awful so we're gonna have to get somebody in with the fucking dino rod they're gonna have to push it down and open up all the manholes it's gonna be a big a big hoo-ha but you know it's gotta be done well they they've got a high pressure thing that pressures it all out god they've got like to make sure i close all the windows the house when they get here and stuff because i don't want any like particles flying in or anything you know god could you imagine if they installed like a high pressure just sitting there like reading the paper in your

kitchen at your kitchen table and like just a turd flew in from outside because of the high pressure just one little nugget here you hear like a rumbling in the house like an earthquake and then out of all of the drains in all the rooms there's just like a geyser fire hoses out and then from outside all the windows are just splashed with like brown liquid. Oh god, please don't. It's like a shit explosion. This is a possibility. It's probably Lego bricks.

Sorry, Flax, you can carry on, but I just thought I would let you guys know. No, I need the update. I'm having work done on my gun right now, so this is all relevant. This week's sponsor is ExpressVPN. Thanks very much. If you don't use a VPN on your computer or your iPhone or whatever, you should. ExpressVPN is great. ExpressVPN.com slash Triforce.

It's not a conspiracy that these big tech giants steal your data. Well, just take it. You just give it to them if you're not using a VPN. They sell it. They sell it. They sell you. And you don't get any money back from that. Shocking. That's how everyone makes their money and you have to you you know you have

to protect yourself you want to keep your privacy online it's you know just think about how much of your life is on the internet and you don't want that to be you know taken advantage of just use a vpn i do yeah every day it's actually quicker you don't get data caps and stuff and throttles that's express weapon yeah keep it secret express weapon keep it safe and you cannot pass lord of the rings yeah expressvpn.com slash triforce you get three extra months free if you sign up for a year so please do that sports the show sports them look after yourself we care about you we want you to be safe out there you know if you were if you were my son and you were on a date with a lady, I tell you, you know, use some protection when you're out there. Just consider that. I just want you to be,

I just care about you. I'm looking, I'm looking out for you. Thanks dad. You're welcome. Expressvpn.com slash Triforce. Thanks everybody. What did I, I watched Stowaway on, on Netflix. Oh yeah, it was shit. It was rubbish. Don't watch it. Thanks, everybody. like the whole gist is these these this really unlikely team of three people launches into space um on this mission spoilers for this this happens in the first five minutes so don't sweat it they're on a mission to mars the film's called stowaway like you're gonna guess that someone stowed away right until you see the first 20 minutes i was like where's the stowaway i mean how are they just like in the in like the wheel the wheel well of the shuttle or something?

No, they're in the life support compartment. The dude fell asleep in there or he was knocked unconscious and they sealed him in there. It's fucking unlikely. They open this panel because there's blood dripping out of it and there's a dude in there and he falls down and he's stuck on the ship with them now and they can't turn around.

And you think there's going to be something nefarious like he's come there to blow it up or he knew what he was doing but nope he just accidentally stowed away and the deal is they're not going to have enough oxygen to get to mars with four of them on board that's the whole setup right so they gotta float somebody well it plays that plays out for like an hour of 45 and it is what are they doing like um are they like voting on who to float and stuff like is there no no it's going to be him it's the No, no, it's going to be him. It's the decision of what's going to be him. He's,

he's not part of the mission. Why should any of us sacrifice ourselves? And then they're like, but how can you just kill it? One of those ones where like everything goes wrong. And like, he's like, oh shit,

they, you know, they already want to float me and now they're blaming me and stuff. But then over time, the tides turn and somebody else turns out to be a big jackass and they want to not really yes no that's not what happened lewis yes they tell him and he's like cool with it and then they're like okay and then other things happen that's it it's stupid there's a there's a lot of stupid drama and then at the worst moment like you know like like it's just it's like it's almost

like this movie was written for i don't know some other fucking setting like a boat on the on the ocean or i don't know they found a story do you mean like some some more more shit real world scenario because like as soon as they get the mcguffin from across the other side of the distance there's a solar storm and it's like oh quick we have to get inside to the solar storm shelter and it's like fucking ludicrous like that it appears it happens to appear at this particular time of a particular imagine i can't i can imagine lewis in his living room shouting at his tv like while this is on furious yeah i'm awful to watch tv with i was just i was i want to watch tv with people who shout with the telly when it's shit because that's what i do we can have a joint shout at the tv

session i'm down man we down me and me and my wife we're not like shout at the tv kind of people what we'll do is if something's not um very good or interesting we'll gradually just start having a full conversation to the point where we're just not paying any attention to what's on tv anymore you're kind of snubbing it it's like yeah as if they're getting the message we'll just be like dead silent the whole time watching it like we'll be super into it or whatever and then other ones it's just like well it'll be going on going on and going on and we'll just be chatting or whatever and then eventually if the show is still going on we'll be like oh this fucking shit is still on like you

want to switch over and then that's it it just ends there i'd rather be standing over a manhole cover looking at actual shit right no you wouldn't trust me like i know you think you would like to be doing that but you would not like i still feel traumatized about it it's awful i know it's terrifying i made the mistake of that when my dad was looking down a manhole around the back because we had a similar problem in our House, I made the problem of looking down there made a mistake and I was like, oh I what I saw down there was was very true Yeah, yeah I wanted to talk to you guys about we've spoken about the Flat Earth before Oh, yeah, and I'm not gonna go into it again because we've covered it ad nauseum. Yeah, we talked about the flat Earth before. Oh, yeah. And I'm not going to go into it again because we've covered it ad nauseum.

Yeah, we talked about the flat moon and all the other flat planets. Right. So here's another one. This guy on Twitter claiming to be a genius physicist who has discovered this theory. If you are a follower of any of the NASA accounts, you'll see him popping up. Can't remember his name. He tweets about his theory about what black holes actually are. Now, most of these theories, and I'm doing the air quotes thing very heavily there.

I can hear. You can hear the theories. I could hear the air moving around the mic when you did those. Exactly. That's how harshly I'm air quoting this. Are based on someone looks at a picture. They don't really understand what they're seeing or what the picture is, they draw their own assumptions,

and that's now their truth. And how dare you deny them their opinion? Right, okay. So he looked at this picture of a black hole, which is not actually a photo, it's like a carefully constructed image using different spectrums of light and everything. You might have seen it.

Kind of looks like a donut. Kind of looks like a donut. So in his mind well this is clearly just an eclipse so he has on his twitter he keeps posting it picture of the donut black hole which again is not just someone taking a camera going click and that's a black hole and then a picture of an eclipse and he says that a black hole is actually a darker celestial object that's closer to us and a bright one behind it. That's all black holes are, folks. Mystery solved.

And he posts this constantly over and over and over again. And he warns you, if I don't think you're up to my level of debate and what you have to say isn't cited, then I'm going to ignore you. Don't take any offense. But my theory is accurate. And unless you come up with something to refute it,

and people will post him refutations and he just ignores them. Because it's like no no that's wrong look it's very simple something is closer to us something is further away so it looks like that but it's in eclipse clearly folks i've got a number of questions for this guy but obviously without citations it would be impossible you're never gonna really be able to ask them though because if they're not they're not the right questions he'll just ignore you exactly he will ignore me so in a way he's won the argument because in his mind he's right and no one's proven him wrong because he ignores everything that disagrees with him some absolute c word like this guy right everyone's never one knows this guy and you you you you

identify them as well like you with other like you Like, you make eye contact with other people in the room, and they, like, kind of, you know, signal, yeah. They, like, nod. They're like, yeah, okay, this guy. I know. It's, you can't, these people are hopeless. You get them from every walk of life, though, from religious people who are convinced one way or another,

or people who believe in a conspiracy theory you know i've got a friend who is convinced about the moon landings being fake and god bless her she's lovely but every time she brings it up i'm i'm almost ready to strangle her now i've got a question for you is she religious uh no she's just a bit um i don't know like just a little bit just i want to say like carefree she just doesn't just a little bit carefree okay do you think she also believes in crystals and stuff like that would you say crystals is a thing that they all say i think i think she could well be suckered into it yeah she's the kind of person who could homeopathy crystals ley lines that kind of stuff for sure okay you know so i was thinking

about this the other day and i made this point to mrs f and on a rare occasion this happens i suggest a thought to her and she agrees with me normally she goes now i think you're talking bollocks this time she went yeah you might be onto something there i was like this is great this is a good theory of mine so here's my theory right if you think about the people that are into conspiracy theories regarding flat earth flat earth is a big one i've spoken about this previously a lot of the people who believe in the flat earth are also very religious a lot of people who believe in all this pizzagate stuff and that joe biden is a devil well there's the thing you talked about you talked about before

but if you're if you believe the conspiracy you're more likely to believe in other ones but also even if they are directly confrontational like if you believe the royal family are lizards but they're also vampires right you're more likely to believe both of them yeah yeah right but here's my point is that if most of the people believing these things tend to be more religious the core of that group tends to be religious no offense to religious people but you have based your life on believing stuff without evidence. That's the whole point of religion is there's no evidence for God. You just believe it. And it's the same with all these conspiracy theories and all this flat earth stuff. You just believe it and no one can convince you otherwise. If you are mentally prepared, if you like, if your brain is

wired right to be deeply religious, and I don't think that's everybody. I genuinely think a lot of people are wired not to be religious. If're wired to be religious i think you're more likely to believe things without evidence or proof like the moon landings were faked joe biden is the devil pizzagate is real uh donald trump's election was stolen all these things tend to be coming from a more religious group of people so i think they're the core of the problem we should ban religion right i think that i think that like it's not that he is like oh shit i can't say her name sorry cut that oh my god she's really smart she's doing a degree and kind of is i've seen some of her work and she's she's obviously very smart really nice and really clued up and i asked her because i was like is is this are you just doing this as like an interest you know because

some people like are into conspiracy theories just for the fun of it because they like they like the the drama and thinking about it and all everything around it it's quite exciting right so it would be nice to think about if the moon landings was fake how would that happen but no no it's definitely believes that it that it was faked and like has kind of like to the point where you know i don't really want to challenge it but she's trying to convince me for some reason you know i'm not bringing it up there's a video that you could give her to just say can you talk about about this and it's it's this video i'm sure i've spoken about it before where the guy points out that it would have been harder to fake the filming like the filming of the moon landings

if they were fake would have been harder to do than landing on the moon because they did not have the technology at the time to film uninterrupted for the length of time that the live broadcast of the moon landing went on for and film at the time this was in the 60s was literally like celluloid print like that that film the old-fashioned film canisters and everything so they would have needed a vast film reel that was perfect i mean one flicker one hair one little burn mark one little judder and everybody knows it's fake and the jig is up so they would have had to do the most technically impossible thing at the time which was to film this thing uninterrupted for hours with no errors and even oscar-winning movies that were like legendary huge productions

at the time had errors on the film because it's the nature of physical film videotape if you were to say they faked it now you could say well it's all cgi and all the rest of it you'd be you'd at least be able to argue that you cannot argue that the landing was fake because the film footage itself proves you wrong it was impossible for them to go to the moon. They had the rockets. They had the technology. What if they didn't have that, though? It's interesting because technology does go in different stages, right? It's interesting that the photography technologies were,

and the broadcast technologies were at the same stage as the stuff that was needed to get up to the moon, right? If they hadn't taken any photos and film up there, would more people be more suspicious and i think it would be fair enough if they just came back and said yeah we went to the moon there's a flag up there if you don't believe us go look at it everybody'd be like what the fuck are you talking about of course they had to film it you can't just have them say after the fact we went to the moon who's gonna believe that well but the thing is like maybe they would have like that would you say they wouldn't have gone to the moon. Who's going to believe that? Well, but the thing is, like, maybe they would have, like, would you say they wouldn't have gone to the moon

if they couldn't have filmed it? No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying that they couldn't fake it. What would they have done instead? What would they have done, like, if they couldn't film it, though? Would they have, like... What if they had, if there was no possibility to film it? Yeah, if they, would they have made, like, a little sign out of rocks,

like, hello on the moon? I think they would have had to have some kind of signal, like some mirror or something, and they can signal back to earth in real time or something right like they would have needed to do something yeah so at the time they went to all this effort to to fake it um just to say that they were the first people to ever land yes to win the cold war like that's the argument is that they did it because they were under pressure and they had to do it. That was the big payoff. Yeah. That's what made all the effort worth it.

Yeah. Right. So that's the argument is they faked it. And also, the argument is that NASA is just stealing money. Right. You know, they're just leeching this money for whatever nefarious purposes NASA are meant to fucking do. Right. I don't know what these people's sole motivation is.

But concealing aliens from us, stealing money from hardworking taxpayers, whatever the motivation you want to come up with is, that's what they think. Right. And I mean, I've seen NASA post tweets of CGI representations of what the Voyager probe's going to do, or some probe's going to do, or whatever.

People like, how did you take these pictures? Lol. This is clearly, you're clearly lying. How did you take a picture of this is clearly you're clearly lying how did how did you take a picture of this satellite lol ridiculous what a fake i'm like it's fucking and they're like this looks so fake so yes cgi representation of what is happening they can't film it because it's so far away if they had pictures of the satellite i would be suspicious well we actually we set two satellites up.

One to do the actual work, but then the other satellite just to take pictures of the other satellite. Exactly. So that we could show people back home what the satellite looks like while it's up there. So they can't win. Fuck's sake. It's ridiculous. And all this stuff with the Mars landing, people saying that's fake. Like all of this stuff.

They're saying it's fake. Like all of this stuff. They're saying it's fake. No, fuck me. We sent some cameras to Mars just to take pictures of all of our equipment in and around Mars. Oh, God, that's hilarious. It's just crazy. We have to send David Attenborough next time. That is hilarious. So, honestly, I don't know what it would take.

I think, I'm hoping that all this space, I know that, for example, they're talking about taking people up into spaces like space tourism, right? And it'll be more affordable in years to come and SpaceX and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be able to pay to get into a rocket ship, go into orbit, orbit the Earth and come back down. Man, do you know what I'm more excited for? That I'm kind of excited for.

In our lifetime, I would be thrilled to see that. Yeah. But the other thing as well is um i i want to do the thing where you take a rocket from a sea platform like here and then you can get to hong kong in like you know five minutes or whatever i mean i think that'd be awesome as well cause vast pollution no no i mean i'm just saying like you know a uh just from from a kid who grew up grew up um walking to his friend's house in the snow and wishing that uh you know teleporters existed at the time and stuff i just think that would be such a uh it would be such a good compromise yeah yeah i know we're not gonna have uh star Trek teleporters in my lifetime, but at least...

You can get to Hong Kong in five minutes. In five minutes? Can you believe that? Yeah, no, I think that's kind of cool. But so a lot of the people booking flights on these space voyages, these space tourism things, are Flat Earthers. Or people offering to pay for Flat Earth, leading proponents of the Flat Earth, to go up there. Right. Like, I will pay to send you up there. They just want to go up there right like i will i will pay to send you up they just want to go up and double check that it's still right but they're just gonna

say like this is the big thing about the ships as they say as you can see the windows are curved which makes the earth look curved that's a that's a famous one if the windows are round which adds to a curvature so it makes the earth look curved even though there's a like a wing or something outside the window that is perfectly straight apparently it only bends the earth it's all very clever so you can't win they like and i'm saying it's the exact same as religion and some people who are deeply religious you think what you think what some of these people though they just i feel like with some of these people they just don't have anybody to talk to and they they've learned they've learned that people will talk to them more if they, you know, if they say something like controversial or against the grain or whatever. You know, it's like people who like seek out bad attention and stuff too, right?

Right. Yeah. I think there's definitely some like psychological stuff at play there too. I honestly think a lot of it is being happy to live a life where what you think about what you see is enough for you. So your conclusions about things. I mean, the earth looks flat to me, therefore it's flat. I think it's a combination of simplicity and ego because you're saying I can't tell that it's curved and I don't trust anybody else in the world. So therefore it's flat.

People are trusting other people though people people have this inherent idea that someone they look up to or they believe or a role model someone older than them who should know and has known and has done their research you believe them you know so you feel you often these these the people these cult leaders or people who are these flat earth sort of leaders give themselves this aura of both being a nice person and charismatic enough to convince people that they've done their research so you should just believe me i believe in it so you should believe in it you don't realize that they have a vested interest whether that's a free flight to space or a load of youtube money you know you don't these people also these these

leaders are trapped right in that that lie at that point as soon as it's their living as soon as these these these you know televangelist preachers that it becomes the way they pay for their right luxury house they can't change they can't turn around they can't even if they've come to the realization which i'm sure many of them have that it's all bogus they can't stop they can't put on a different front they have to keep up the line they have to keep up the act and sucker in a new crowd exactly which is why i'm drawing the comparison there are so many comparisons between the sort of religious fundamentalists and conspiracy theorists i honestly think there's a big link i think because religion is dying out in terms of like popularity

if you like. A lot more society is becoming secular. My God. Is this fucking podcast the end of football? The end of religion? The end of reason?

What's happening? Oh man. We're getting close. We're getting close. I think I feel like Oh my God. What we need to do is we need to end

shit pipes being blocked. Oh my God is we need to end shit pipes being blocked we need to end disease get rid of these, start my shit pipes who's going to help us because I was reading an article today about an Oxford professor who thinks that aliens live alongside us

and they are interbreeding with us to prevent catastrophe they're not doing a very good job are they this an oxford professor um well if that is the case if that's the case i hadn't thought about it much but you know that sounds reasonable to me and i'm glad that they're doing it i didn't realize that aliens were fucking us to success i wish they'd fuck me more if you're out there aliens if you're listening to this, if I explain to Mrs. F it's not another woman, it's an alien, do you mind if I fuck her?

I'm sure she would be fine with it. We're saving the human race here, baby. You can't be mad at me. This is for civilization. The alien gave you some golden plates, which means you can have another wife. But don't worry. No one else can see him.

I'm going to read him in this bag. I'm going to read him in a bag. I don't think you fully appreciate the responsibility I've taken on my shoulders to save the human race here. Come on. Ladies, please, cut us some slack. When we're having sex with these alien ladies, your man is doing that.

Just chill. Who, let's face it, are awesome. The best hits. They're, God, they're great. You could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. What women do you know that you think could be aliens? Uh, bleep that name again, please. Don't use that name. Just bleep that name.

Bleep that name again. All right, that's enough. Thank you, everyone. that is our podcast for today yes uh you can follow trifles on spotify to get new episodes as soon as they come out every wednesday please do please do we have a patreon we do also uh pitch please i was all i actually recorded my pitch please episode uh yesterday nice so that should be out soon uh it's a podcast where some of the guys talk about games.

It's great. Because you've been on it. We've all been on it, yeah. I did Dude Simulator for mine. So that's actually returning. It should be out by now, the first episode of the second season. So I'm very happy

because I'm a great fan of that podcast. Yeah, and thank you for listening, everybody. We'll see you next time. I have one last thing to add. It just occurred to me go on i i think lydia might be one of the aliens because it would explain why she can't use earth stairs yeah that's true yeah she's they don't have stairs on the spaceship she's not used to she's used to a low gravity environment prove me wrong that does make sense i would love to but i have no i no way

to prove you wrong on this one so i think yeah i let's get this let's spread this around yeah as a conspiracy yeah lydia is an alien oh my god yeah good all right thanks everyone bye