Triforce! - Triforce! #177: The Exact Opposite of ASMR

Episode Date: May 19, 2021

Triforce! Episode 177! The guys review some disgusting victorian meals, try to figure out the exact opposite of ASMR and find out how much they actually know about the world! Go to http://manscaped.com and use code TRIFORCE to get 20% off with free shipping. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's us, we're back again, once again. It's raining. It's, well, it's typical Victorian English weather. Does it have to be Victorian? Is that like the Victorian times were ushered in the rainy days? Yes, and in the 20th century, it did not rain a single second of any of the days in this country. No, not even an ounce of rain. I don't know. That greyness just reminds me of like the... Of when you were around in Victorian Britain. Yeah.

Walking the streets. Or like a film noir kind of... Good to you mr brindley ah good morning to you mr forsyth how are you today fine fine the urchins in my factory are working hard i've managed to have their gruel i'm off to the apothecary to buy some cocaine gum for medicinal purposes. And a dodo for dinner. Yes, it washed down with a lovely glass of port. Oh, yeah. They all had gout in those days, man.

Of course they did. They were just living it up too hard. It was all the finer things constantly, you know? But how good could the food have been, really, is my question. I tell you what, I read an article this week from a Liverpool cafe that found a 100-year-old menu, so a sort of Victorian-era menu from when they were, I guess, a more up-market place. And man, the food on there looked pretty grim.

Well, it's all relative to the time, though, right? I mean, back then, not everything would have had sugar in it, the food on there looked pretty grim yeah well it's all relative to the time though right i mean back then not everything would have had sugar in it which is what we're sort of more accustomed to now right like everything is seasoned with like a sort of like a sauce that has like some sweetness to it or whatever but back then i think they tried to do stuff like that but it was a lot more natural right there was a lot less um processed stuff or produced stuff and it was like it was more fresh stuff but mixed up in like weird wacky ways that probably i didn't even know what half of this stuff you wouldn't want to eat nowadays right

because we're we're accustomed to like different different tastes and stuff yes i mean i will say this if you took someone from the victorian era and took them out for dinner in modern London, I'm pretty sure they'd be blown away. They'd be like, this is unbelievable. I can't believe how little gristle there is in this. Yeah, but then they'd have like a crippling diarrhea for like a week as well. Yeah, I guess it would be quite rich.

Yeah, absolutely. A lot more seasoning than they used to. Like imagine you took somebody from the Victorian era out for like a fucking big curry like they'd be dead they would love it but they would probably die right like they're just not they would not be equipped for like the taste sensation and like the i guess you know like all the crazy spices and stuff you have to ease yourself into that stuff right but if you've never had a curry as a modern 20th century into the 21st century man,

your first curry didn't kill you. No, no, but like it would double you over probably, right? Probably. If you gave him a fall or something really hot like that, then yeah. Are you trying to murder me, Mr. Brady? Fetch the physician! Leeches! Leeches!

Yeah. I'm afraid we're going to have to lose that arm, sir. Well, before we lost the other one. Barely used it anyway. I've got servants to handle things for me. Yeah, I wonder if you would eat these things. So the soups. Just the first thing on the menu is consomme de volaille.

Volaille. I don't even know what that is. It's French. Yeah. It means it's French. Yeah. It means it's French soup. Case closed. Case closed. Diagnosis murder, baby.

Looks like we got some French here, Chief. So that's fourpence. Or you could have scotch broth, which is fourpence. I mean, most of the food that they ate back then if it was hot food it was some sort of soup right like there wasn't just they they didn't uh well maybe the victorians more so than uh than previously but you know like a lot of their a lot of their warm food would have been broth stews like stuff that you just shove a lot of crap into a pot and uh and then just let it like stew or simmer like uh throughout the day sort of thing, right?

Maybe, yeah. You didn't have a heating control like we have nowadays where you can just quickly whip up a pasta or something like that. You know what I mean? You didn't have the level of control that we enjoy nowadays with all that kind of stuff. Yeah, I think you might be right. But I don't know what creme a la reine is either.

It's the queen's cream. It's like the emperor's new clothes, but this time it's a queen and it's her cream. She squirts in a bowl and you add a little basil and it's delicious. Oh, yeah, that's it. Is it? Is it the queen's soup? Is that the translation?

That's bizarre. Well, I think they get some water from the river Rheine and add a bit of cream and then drink that. How is Rheine spelled? Rheine, as in like royal, I guess. Yeah. Like crown, is it? If it's R-E-N-N-E, I think that's queen. No, it's R-E-I-N-E. That's queen, isn't it? Oh, that's queen. Sorry, no. R-E-N-N-E is a place, right?'t it? Oh, that's cream, yeah. Sorry, no. R-E-N-N-E is a place, right?

That's REN. Yeah, I think with an S. But R-E-I-N-E is cream in French. Yeah, so it's, yeah. It sounds like it's cream of the queen. It's chicken a la REN. It has rice in it. That's chicken a la REN.

Soup a la REN. Queen soup, here we go. One liter of chicken stock. The meat of two chicken legs well cooked cook it for three hours milk cream flour butter and an egg and some peas sounds pretty bland basically just a boring chicken soup uh there the the entrees let me ask you whether you want any of these do you want sweetbreads and peas oh isn't sweetbreads like the balls and testicle the testicles and penis of a of an animal uh yeah no it's called it's like the it's like throat isn't it or stomach or is it pancreas it's definitely

it's definitely not you'd want it's not yeah it doesn't sound but they gave it that name sounds nice but no sweetbreads well this appears to be be a dong. Yes, they are not what you want to be eating. No, that's at the top of the list. That's the thing that everyone orders, apparently. That's how they caught Hannibal Lecter in the remake of Red Dragon. Yeah. Will Graham goes around to his house, and he's looking through Gastronomique de la Renique book,

which I bought in a charity shop for a couple of quid because I was like, ooh. He was going through airport security and they had a little snack bag and they looked in and it was just people's nipples. A whole bunch of fried up nipples. Deep fried nipples.

Excuse me, sir. He's like, that's my snack. My nipple snack. That just feels so sick now you've said that. Oh my god, that triggered something in me. I mean, I was thinking about the same way that we would have like a bag of cashews or something. He's got a bag of nipples.

I don't like those are my snack nipples. What? Yeah. My snack nipples, Clarice. The next on the list is is Irish stew. But that's going to have potatoes. We put Irish people in that. No, no, no.

We put Irish people in that. The, no, no. We put Irish people in that. The Victorians really didn't like the Irish. So even, you know, you found a lad, an Irish, said, ah, top of the morning to you, because that's what they all say. And he said, they would go, I say, my good man, look in this bag, would you? Ah, he'll be looking in your bag there.

And when he looked in the bag, you bonked him over the head, and then you took the body away and chucked it in a soup. That's brutal. Well, it's kind of like those beef braised, beer braised soups, you bonked him over the head, and then you took the body away and chucked it in a soup. That's brutal. It's kind of like those beer-braised soups, because obviously they're all drunk with Guinness, right? And so it would be like putting a can of Guinness in, basically. They're all drunk. Yeah.

Well, back then, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So a braised steak, lard miere, I think it says. Yeah. Okay. You're selling this. I don't know what that means that means yeah this sounds good cut chicken cutlets and spaghetti all right okay yeah so that's like the victorians were kind of like the first to to get really adventurous right with cuisine and stuff so a lot of a lot of their a lot of their like big ticket meals would have been imported stuff, right? Like from, you know, the continent or even beyond or whatever.

I think that's when it's like sort of, you know, traditional Italian food started making it like over here. And you probably would have had some Indian food and stuff too, right? Maybe, yeah. Around the time starting to make its way over, but it would have been seen as very exotic, right? Yeah. I mean, didn't they used to put a pineapple in the middle of the table and that was like la-di-da oh yeah god yeah it was like yeah that used to be a pretty big deal if you had a pineapple there's another one mock turtle soup it was created in the mid-18th century so it's a little earlier than the victorian obviously it's a cheaper imitation of green turtle soup, which I guess had turtle in. And it uses brains and organ meats,

such as the calf's head or a calf's foot, to duplicate the texture and flavor of the original turtle meat. Now, if you're having to make mock turtle soup and you're like, how can we make this really unpleasantly textured? Let's put some fucking organs and brains in it, because then people will think it's like turtle soup.

So in other words, you had something that was obviously texturally fairly unpleasant. Let's remake it with brains and a calf's head and foot. Gross. Those are the days. People are still getting away with stuff like this, though, just naming it stuff that sounds fine, like sweet breads. The other options are more obvious. There's grilled kidneys and bacon.

That actually sounds quite good. That sounds quite good. Veal and ham risoles. I can't remember what's in a rissole, but I don't think it's very nice. That's 10 pence, that one. So it's slightly more expensive. It's actually a small patty inside pastry. So it's like a mini Cornish pasty.

Baked or deep fried, that doesn't sound too bad. There you go. Haricot ox tail. I'm not sure. I bet they actually used an ox tail for that though. I don't know if they did, but it's just, it's nothing, it's nothing. It's just supposed, but that's,

I don't think ox tail was ever actually put in stuff. Oh, they would have done it back then. Oh, back then they probably would have, yeah. Okay. Boiled cod with Holliday's sauce. Oh, yeah, oxtail is actually the tail of the ox. It's like a big... It's a big gristly-looking thing

with the bone running through the middle and some fairly shitty meat on the outside. So it's a... Oh, it's not just a string. No, it is actually... It's just a... The stringy, tiny little thing. See, they used to use all that shit back then.

There was like applications for like every part of the animal. And then sort of coming into the industrial era, we decided that instead of doing something with all of that stuff or like lots of little things with all that stuff, we were just going to combine it all together and make hot dogs so yeah that's what we came up with yeah that's what we came up with yeah luncheon meat luncheon meat as well yeah crap single slices but like they're little meat squares and stuff that's all it is yeah it's just all the shit that they don't have any

real use for after the the animal's been butchered and the good cuts have been taken. Two words, two words, fridge raiders. The most disgusting thing I've ever seen. You know what? Again, it's promoted as if it's like a thing that doesn't, you don't know where it's from, right? But as a meat eater, obviously I'm alone on the podcast in that. And there is an element of guilt, I would say.

Really? Yeah, of course, because I know what it's doing to the planet and stuff like that. And I understand that the amount of, you know, I don't want to get all fucking political because people hate that. But there is no doubt that meat is far more difficult and expensive to produce than vegetables. I get that. And if we cut our meat intake down, it would be a lot better for the environment. Anyway, we cannot do that

until we stop thinking that you have to have meat three times a day. And then they thought, how can we get more meat into people's mouths? So Fridge Raiders comes along, which is just chunks

of unidentified meat that you keep in your fridge. So when you're presumably some man, because there's always a man in the advert going, oh, I'm a bit hungry. I need some meat for my belly, like an orc. And they open the fridge. Where's the meat?

Oh, there's a fridge right here. What part of the animal is this? Oh, don't ask, gore bub. Just shove it in your face. Because we're men and we just want meat all the time. Gore bub. Oh, don't ask, Gorbub. Just shove it in your face. Because we're men and we just want meat all the time. Oh, my God. That's all it's become. Yeah, no.

Why are we going to do that? Which is crazy. I feel like that would have been something that you could have seen in the 80s and it would have been perfectly acceptable, right? You know, like, I think, like, most fridges in the 80s were just jam-packed full of weird meats and stuff leftover meat uh meatloaves and all that shit but nowadays i don't know i feel like it's you know i i feel like it's changed a little bit you know people are like eating like

avocados a lot more yeah that's a lot more healthy there. There's definitely like superfood kind of options that are not meat-based and people are very aware of them now. And obviously, there's a lot of money being made off of this as well. I mean, the freshest unprocessed food somehow is more expensive than, you know, stuff that has actually had to like be created and go through a factory. It doesn't make sense, but there you go. It's true. Well, it's the kind of, you've seen those machines, haven't you? It's like a bucket with loads of rubber fingers in it that jiggles and they throw like a chicken corpse in there and it jiggles it around and shakes off all the little bits.

Have you ever looked at one of those and just thought, man, it would feel weird if my cock was in there? That's the first thing I thought. What if I could fuck that? You just think, right? You're just like, what if I just put my bear dong in there? Like the first thing i thought yeah you just think right you're just like what if i just put my bear dong in there like what would happen that'd be crazy we're always looking for opportunities oh yeah absolutely always looking for a new sensation you know trying to keep my my life spicy i guess for for women they're thinking if i sat on that and it's vibrating a lot

yeah i wonder if that would give me the jollies i would because that's a thing right there you know the wobbly uh dryer washing machine the dryer machine and shit so i've asked i've asked women about that like is that is that really a thing and they're all like oh yeah i think oh that's why you know back in the day that's why back in the day uh you know all the all the mums were like oh i'll do the washing no no i'll do the washing they couldn't wait to do the washing it would be like the one the one thrill they get because washing up there's no vibration there even the dishwasher barely moves i reckon they've made tumble dryers and washing machines specifically to vibrate well this reminds me of a thing okay so

um this week i was recommended to download some by one of my friends. Like, it's kind of ambient sound app for Alexa, right? So you say, sorry if anyone's got one, I've triggered it. You say the name of the thing, and then you say, play rain sounds. Alexa, play rain sounds. Okay, exactly. And that will then happen. But they've got, like, apps on them now.

So they, well, sometimes these pays for apps. sounds okay exactly and that will then happen but they've got like apps on them now so they will sometimes these pays for apps and some of them actually have this huge huge library of sounds where you can play multiple sounds at the same time to find this perfect moment and i i was looking through the sound list and some of the sounds were like what the fuck wow okay but for example one of the sounds was washing machine oh that's a really popular one for uh like white noise washing machine sounds there's there's videos like this on youtube for um getting your baby to go to sleep like all of this i do find it soothing yeah all of like that that that sort of really um non-intrusive monotonous background noise

there's definitely a big sort of market for it. Oh, my God. So here's the list of them. Okay. It's very long. Windy leaves, windy trees, rain on a tin roof. Oh, that's annoying. Shower sounds.

Oh, I like rain. I like being inside when it's raining heavily and you can hear the water. But not on a tin roof. Maybe tin roof is too much. Then it starts getting weird. Frog sounds, seagull sounds. Frog sounds? I find those upsetting, actually.

I wouldn't want to hear those. Womb sounds. Just a frog just fucking croaking and bubbling and shit, like whatever other sounds they make. They're all slimy and stuff. I mean, I don't mind frogs, but man, I don't want to listen to them constantly so i i so so i was like play play at random and i got like tibetan bowl sounds and snoring sounds snoring sounds it sounded like the monk in a monastery had just like fallen asleep on his back was just snoring away like if they have snoring sounds you might as well just have a

completely quiet room with people eating sounds like i can't think of anything worse like that would absolutely trigger me off of the face well exactly exactly sounds yeah like the sound of people like smacking and eating their plates like the knife and forks on the plate there should be an opposite like a some some sounds to get you. You know the way before a football match or something, they play like pounding music to really get them all G'd up. If you had a grudge match coming, you wanted to really anger your team,

just play eating sounds. Yeah. Like just, you know when you listen to Radio 4 or something and there's an interview and the people all have the mic really close and I can't remember, there was a term for it, when the mouth mouth movement sounds if you take away the actual words and just have

that it's like it's the grossest sounds like people maybe people it's horrible but i know like even some streamers who will eat on stream you know like they'll have like a full meal like on stream and they'll just like watch a video or something but you know like if you're it's it's there's certain people who like you know but you know you know when you're doing that you know when you're if you're eating and watching something at the same time you're completely unaware of how loud you're being eaten oh my god because you're concentrating on something else and you're like grunting and fucking smacking and shit like that oh my god some people like if it's quiet, you have some awareness. But I think if your mind is on something else

while you're eating, that's got to be the worst combo. You could see the most beautiful woman in the world, right? And then go out for dinner with her and then watch her drink a glass of water. It's like very hot. But I think that's why in restaurants there's a lot of focus on

on ambience as well right like oh you gotta have some music or something yeah and you can hear like the slight murmur of everybody's talking and and stuff there's a bit of music because if it wasn't if if there was none of that oh my god like dating would never work you would just be like fuck you you're fucking g gumping all the time! You'd just get up and leave in a rage, you know? Like, it would be the worst. So these sounds, right? Lawnmower sounds.

Oh, what? No one is keen for that one, right? I remember one time I was, when I was in the cadets at school, and we went on a trip, it was a week on a merchant Navy vessel in Scotland that went around the Isle of Arran and all around the West Coast of Scotland, I think. Right. And we were all of us.

So it was like 15 or 16 lads or something like that. And we all had to sleep in a series of bunks, like below decks, obviously. And they were stacked up in tiers of like three, just set into the wall. So you're in a little sort of metal cubbyhole With all your stuff at the foot of your bed and you slept there and the engine is on overnight You know to keep the heating electricity and everything like that on that was so relaxing the the very slight

Thrumming of the engine and a very slight vibration. I went as out like a fucking light. It was the best It was a nice combination though like I feel I feel like that's like a con like a fucking light it was the best it was such a nice combination though like i feel i feel like that's like a con like a combo situation you have that noise but also you have a day where you probably had to do a lot and in an unfamiliar environment so you're you're you're physically and mentally exhausted at the same time at night and then you have that soothing sound as well that's got to be the ultimate combo right it was really because on a on a daily basis how often do you get that where you're you're both physically and mentally exhausted at the end of the day and you go to bed

and there's like you know something some rain sounds or something like that right like it's it's pretty rare i'd say i like maybe some people experience that, but I certainly don't. I was just playing Tarkov until midnight. Maybe one of those things. Exhausted. Yeah. Go on, Lulu. No, but you're right.

The other thing is I read about there's five different colors of noise as well, because there's white noise that we obviously know about. There's also pink and blue and violet and brown. I've got some brown noise for you right here. The brown noise is named after a guy called Robert Brown, I think, rather than... Not a man who recorded his farts for 20 years. No, but they're like...

Because people sometimes do listen to the white noise, and I always hated it, but actually the other ones are more focused because white noise is kind of just very abrasive. Yeah, yeah. But I wonder, because the other one is like buzzing lights. No. focus because white noise is kind of just very kind of abrasive um but but i i wonder like because the other one is like buzzing lights sounds and is there a green noise i just like to listen to nature like the sound of trees moving and birds like that that's very relaxing

did i ever tell you guys about the bird that um the bird is the word there's this bird close to where my parents uh lived when i was growing up and um one morning he was doing this and it sounded like the opening uh to uh money is for nothing by uh dire straits it was like a but it was like a bird song so he was just like wow maybe we heard it maybe he was one of those birds that repeat songs maybe unfortunately he's a dire straits fan yeah but i mean the the the sort of um i mean he did it for it had to have been about six hours straight like it was crazy he just loves that song constantly yeah i guess he just got it stuck in his head you know like he's waiting for the rest of the band to turn up because he's quite a long intro maybe he's thinking geez maybe that was just the phase he was going through you know maybe a couple

of weeks later it was like sandstorm or something you know it's just like constantly for six hours i'm wondering whether these like sounds are actually just like a three second loop of you know of fucking whatever i think i think that would be even more annoying than whatever the sound was because you you car ride sounds we know we do notice which you notice happens very quickly don't you so if you had just a like a five second like loop, you hear it straight away. Like as, oh, this is just looped. And it's just kind of,

I feel like, you know, the way car alarms go, like the good car alarms go, like that, rather than just be a steady sound because it's more annoying. So people are more likely to look and say, shut that fucking car alarm up. Speaking of loops, I've gone down rabbit holes recently where i've been really interested in watching videos about like uh sample breakdowns for hip-hop um oh yeah yeah tracks and where it came from and stuff yeah yeah and it's super interesting but now that's led me

on to listening to lots of like instrumental versions of hip hop songs that have become available or that had just been released as, you know, like instrumental albums or whatever. And the loops in those are really interesting, too, because when you have somebody rapping over them and then you have breaks and and like other things in there, it spices up or whatever. But man, the loops are really simple when you when you just when you know they are when you just consider you know that it's just the same kind of like five seconds playing over and over and over again but it's it works it's so good but it's what amazes me is when you listen to those like there's loads of youtube videos at all like there's a song by i think she's called amory it's called one thing you'll know when you hear it it goes like it's that one thing that got me slipping or whatever it's like yeah i know that one yeah you know the one so the loop and that

is like this weird drum it goes it goes like it's like very yeah yeah noticeable that is like a five second segment yeah of a much longer song. Oh, yeah. They do it. I mean, I guess the guys that put these loops together, producers and the DJs and stuff, would just go to a record store and buy like a hundred of these old funk and soul records. Well, yeah, that was a big thing in hip hop culture, right? Digging through the crates. You find old records, obscure records records a lot of like old jazz

or soul um funk but they're looking for a lot of that's been sampled to yeah just one bit where they just go oh shit sample that right now and we'll put like a sick beat on it and we'll stretch it out a bit and we'll raise this bit up and then some are some are a bit a bit like there it varies right like if you listen to ain't nothing but a g-thang by like uh by dre and and snoop um if you find the original sample for that it's basically just the full song like it's not it's not sampled from it at all he's just basically lifted it in like the entire song and then added like a you know like a like a harder beat to it and mixed it up a little bit but you know what like if you listen to the original song, it's crazy.

But it works so well. Pure theft. Yeah. But then some of them are, they'll take a song, reverse parts of it, speed it up or slow it down. And you wouldn't be able to distinguish it. You'd have to really, really listen for it sort of thing. Amazing. And those work really well too. I mean, it's it's an amazing uh mix of of all sorts of stuff but i i don't

think at the same time a lot of people are like oh it's just stolen a song but no he's not he's he's he's popularized a song that probably wouldn't have never been listened to again yeah really you know a lot of this stuff is kind of lost yeah they're not or they were hits at the time and there it would be impossible for them to make a resurgence right the only way that they become relevant again is through um you know like artists of the day using the samples or using the songs and then you know putting a spin on it or whatever i think it's really interesting i don't i don't think that it's like theft or no no no or like plagiarism or anything it's an evolution of music right exactly exactly it's almost it's almost like saying listen to this cool I mean some honestly like we were saying some of these samples are buried deep in records that never made it big yeah yeah yeah and it's like you know you found

this moment you're like oh shit and now you've made something awesome I will say when they took um that's just the way it is by Bruce Hornsby i was not happy that's a classic song i never knew that so it's a huge i think it was okay come on i i didn't i didn't mind it i mean i like the original but i as far as sort of like remixes of songs go that's one of the better ones for sure like um there's some fuck tupac fuck it that's right there's some biggie smalls all the way motherfucker let's go east coast oh my god some of the re remixes or reboots that they do of songs you just uh created a sweet bread there yeah a real a serious beef yeah serious beef it's just we've upgraded that to an ox tail you just you just created a beef uh la ren there flax you're done though i um so there's a youtube channel called track lib who go through samples and which samples are used in um

and stuff and they've done it they did what i saw last week from the because it's 20th anniversary of daft punk's discovery that's right yeah and it's got all of the samples that they use and they're all from tracks from like 70s like 79 lots of like lots of like disco for like daft punk they would have sampled lots of like uh funk and disco and stuff but just little bits of it logins yeah it's like really odd or really odd bit yeah like such like fragments a lot of these guys are audiophiles right like you have to have the stamina to sit there to not only buy an obscure record but sit there and listen to it like a couple of times to find these little hidden gems right like it's yeah and a lot of them are sped up or slow down

as well because so they almost sound completely different to the original it's almost like they can't be asked to or that they don't want to or don't need to make new music right don't need to go in the studio and play these things because they already have these cool sound bites that are ready to go problem is so many of them the problem is with a lot of stuff especially like in the 90s like a lot of like a lot of heavily sampled stuff in the 90s uh once the once the industry sort of caught on that this was happening and that there was money being made off the back of it, it just went crazy. It was just like lawsuits left, right and center, right? For like using unauthorized like samples of existing songs and stuff.

It was just it became almost like a little mini industry in itself. People making money off or demanding royalties and stuff like that so you'll see like a shift post that where sampling becomes even more and more obscure because they have to they really have to mask what they're using and then in a lot of cases like like even Dre went as far as to because he he'd made a lot of money at this point instead of just straight up sampling he would have musicians come in and recreate the stuff that he wanted with like far as to because he he'd made a lot of money at this point instead of just straight up sampling he would have musicians come in and recreate the stuff that he wanted with like different instruments and and whatnot and that's interesting as well that kind of got around it for a while i

think but still there's always somebody out there trying to get money right like here's the easiest way possible i can't remember if i mentioned this on a previous week. I may have done. Did I talk about Cisco's thong song? No, not that I recall. Man, this is going to be one of those classic Triforce moments where me and Lewis are like, I don't remember talking about the thong song and everybody in the comments

is going to be like, oh my God, episode 75, all you guys talk about was the thong song, you idiots. Fucking stupid idiots. even morons. Yeah, they fucking suck. I've listened to every episode.

That's what gets me. I've listened to every episode, and I still hate period. I'm like, well, you're still listening, motherfucker. People who complain the most love the most. That's the thing. If you don't care about something, you don't complain about it. I don't think that's true. Father's Day is just around the corner.

More like Farter's Day, am I right? Boom. Nothing says fathers like hairy balls. Oh, my God. That's right. Do you know someone who is really hairy? You can't even see my junk anymore. I've got such a huge muff.

Is there a solution, Lewis, to this problem? There is. Manscaped is the only men's brand dedicated to below the waist grooming and it just launched a performance package talk about my performance package mate for a father a hairy father as you get older you might notice that the hair moves down i enjoy having an excessively hairy chest but i do not like hair on my genitals agreed i want to be totally bald down there, but let's just be hairy up there Well in that case well you have also the weed whacker ear and nose trimmer that Bushes out of your nose and ears. Oh, that isn't that is that's part of the care

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thank you for our sponsor we will carry on with the show now so the thong song huge hit it was like a massive hit what is it 2000 i think 99 2000 thong thong thong thong exactly Everybody knows the song. It was so massive. Like, it was like, you remember the way Gangnam Style was huge? These hits come along that are just fucking everywhere.

And that other one, what was that one by the guys called, like, Lum Fowl or whatever? Party Rock, right? Party Rock is in the house. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So these songs were just so huge

that you couldn't fucking get away from them. So Cisco's Thong Song was that song back then. They sampled nothing, really, other than this. He went to see these producers. He'd been in this other group called Drew Hill. He wanted to go solo, and he went there, and he listened to a bunch of tracks that these guys had produced, and he was like, oh, shit, I of uh some sort of um tracks that these guys have

produced and he was like oh shit i want that one which was the thong song one and he added a few bits and bobs to it but the line where he says she's living la vida loca because of that line he said to the producers oh don't worry i know the guy like the producer who did the that song the ricky martin song yeah so don't worry about it i've got this no problem they won't come after us they did come after them yeah and they said you you've you he literally just said live in la vida loca uh and that's it so the guy who did the producer for the song uh the ricky martin song owns a bigger share of the thong song than any of the other people involved in the production because of that one single line they had to give him a cut of the

record yeah it's crazy rather than go to court that's insane well that's it and that's the thing because the threat a lot of this stuff doesn't go to court it's just settled right because people think oh i can't go to court for this it's gonna cost too much the fees blah blah blah blah so they just settle and that's where that's how you end up with all this ridiculous shit like but these guys i mean these producers it's the same with movie producers i don't think they actually give a shit they literally just got into the game to figure out how can i rook money out of people yeah lawsuits of course they're claiming shit it's fucking fuck off you know yeah yeah just just fuck and it leads into all this the dmca shit on twitch and stuff like that it's it's such a fucking uh it's just it's fucking dinosaurs

just uh you know desperately you know clutching on to this this this way that they've always made money or whatever and it you think that all these people streaming there's hundreds of thousands of people watching every day it's just free promotion right if you if you're allowing your music to be played you spread it out to a much larger audience people would be more likely to go and listen to it um other places as well after that if they've heard it and they like it or whatever right but but hang on isn't that the same argument that people make when they try to get artists to work for free i don't know like for exposure right with if there's a twitter account called for exposure

yeah where artists are being approached by people restaurants everywhere hey can you give me some of your product for free or give me some art for free i have this many followers it'll be great exposure for you yeah and that that argument is made by people who just don't want to have to pay for someone else's work like if you create something whether it's a song or whatever it is uh you just have to be paid for if people are gonna use it. So the argument it's good exposure I don't agree with I it's a tricky one the DMCA Yeah, the problem I have with it is if you made music then you wouldn't want people to just listen to it You wouldn't you wouldn't want to go to a stream one time and somebody is just listening to and enjoying a song that you made

Like what if what if i'm a big star and your exposure means nothing to me and you're essentially benefiting from it for free i'm playing devil's advocate here but i just want to understand at that point why would you give much of a shit though like most of your money is going to be made by packing out stadiums and selling merch at the shows that you're putting on and stuff like that it doesn't matter tours lose money no come on they make a ton of money no they do not dude they cost you money that's not true promotional that's not true no no that is 100 trolls make the majority of bands now make most of their money from touring so it used to be that there were a handful of bands that made money on

a tour like the rolling stars like that how it's the main the main way they do it how else are they gonna make money they're not making money from spotify and shit like that. How? It's the main way they do it. How else are they going to make money? They're not making money from Spotify and shit like that. And that's what most people are using to listen to music now. That they're not making money from listening to music, right? Bands used to make money from record sales and the tour was to promote the record. So you're saying now tours is where they make the money. Yeah, absolutely. That doesn't to me mean that.

Appearances, because that's something that nobody can take away from them. Like you go to a show to see britney spears or whatever um you know what i mean nobody can can do that other than her sort of thing so of course they make a ton of money no i i would put i would put it another way you're saying that their main revenue source has been taken away and now the only way they make money is from tours i'm not i'm not saying that's the only way but they make a a fortune off of touring for sure i don't know about that i'd have to see some sources i'm gonna have to do some reading man if they if they lost money on it nobody would fucking tour like dude i'm telling you they used to lose like it was never a profitable thing for bands to talk oh my god there's no way like even even in the 70s and the 80s like like led zeppelin toured

incessantly for like a decade like a big band sure but like the point okay but and back then you had to be you had to play shows you had to tour because there's no other way people could listen to or or find out about your music right coming back to exposure and stuff like that so many bands started playing shitty little venues with like coming back to exposure and stuff like that so many bands started playing shitty little venues with like 10 people at them and stuff and just had to somehow work their way up right there was no there's no massive distribution like the only way you could find out about bands back then would have been to read a magazine or something like that you know what i mean there was we weren't connected you couldn't just like you know listen to a spotify playlist back then right

so even back then it was even more important to be touring and stuff i wonder like there's a thing we obviously we obviously believe very very strongly about opinions or things we don't necessarily know the facts of and it affects how we think right and this is a thing to do this is a book i've been reading called factfulness. What's it called? Tactfulness. It's quite a famous book. Fact. Factfulness. It's like mindfulness.

Fact. Only with facts. All right. Factfulness. And in the intro, it's got like a little quiz. And I thought I could give you the quiz just to see how you did. Because for me, I did terrible. And apparently, everyone does pretty terrible.

So I just thought I'd see how you guys done. And you kind of just have to give the answer off the top of your head. Don't think about it too much. Don't metagame it. And apparently everyone does pretty terrible. So I just thought I'd see how you guys done. And just, you kind of just have to give the answer off the top of your head. Don't think about it too much. Don't, don't metagame it. But where do you think the majority of the world population lives? Is it in low income countries,

middle income countries or high income countries? I would say low income countries. Okay. In all low income countries across the world today, how many girls finish primary school? Is it 20%, 40%, or 60%? This is globally. Yeah, globally.

In countries defined as low-income. I think it's 40%. I would say 20%. Okay, I'll put them both down. In the last 20 years, the proportion of the world population living in extreme poverty, has it doubled, remained the same, or halved? Halved. I'd say doubled. Okay. What is the life expectancy of the world today? living in extreme poverty, has it doubled, remained the same, or halved? Halved.

I'd say doubled. Okay. What is the life expectancy of the world today? Is it to the nearest 10 years? What do you think? Globally in the world, life expectancy? Oh, globally? I'd say it's probably maybe 40, 50 years.

I'm going to say 68. Okay. So you think close to 70, P-Flex. You think close to 50. Yes. All right. There are 2 billion children in the world today aged between 0 and 15. Gosh. How many children will there be in 2100, according to the United Nations?

Is it 4 billion, 3 billion, or 2 billion? I'd say... Oh, I think it's actually leveling off, isn't it? I think they think we're approaching a point where we're going to start to see the birth rate leveling off yeah i remember seeing that a while in the in the u.s apparently um the birth rate has dipped below the the rate of people at which people die yeah and uh they they're thinking that now it's like unsustainable like there's not enough babies being born to replace the people that are dying or something like that.

Even China has. There was an article, I think it was on BBC the other day. China has historically, I don't know about now, but didn't they have population control? They had the one child policy. Yeah, they had policies in place where- Right, but what I'm saying is now they're saying that the birth rate is dipping even without the one child policy yeah so that like i think globally people are having less kids i assume because they're having to work so much harder i still think the the volume of people has to just rise right i don't think it's going to decline what in the next like 80 years

i'd say that it's going to be the higher number well i'm going to go for the higher number anyway you think four billion yeah okay and you think i'm going to be the higher number. I'm going to go for the higher number anyway. You think $4 billion? Yeah. Okay. And you think $2 billion? I'm going to say $2, yeah. Interesting. Then how did the number of deaths per year from natural disasters change over the last 100 years? Did it double, half, or stay the same?

I'd say double. Jeez, let me think. So from natural events. I'm going to say probably stayed the same. It's something out of our control. Okay. How many of the world's one-year-old children today have been vaccinated against some sort of disease oh is it 20 50 or

80 like 80 i'm gonna say i'm gonna go low on that one as well like probably 20 okay globally 30 year old 30 year old men have had on average, 10 years of schooling in total. How many years have women of the same age had in school in total? 30-year-old women worldwide. Worldwide? Probably less. Three years, six years, or nine years? I'd say six.

I'm going to say nine. I'm going to say nine. Interesting. In 1996, tigers, giant pandas, and black rhinos were all listed as endangered. How many of these three species are now critically endangered? All of them. All three of them. I'm going to say two out of three.

I'm going to guess they've managed to save one. How many people in the world have some access to electricity? Is it 20%, 50% or 80%? It's got to be 80%. I'd say like probably 50%, maybe. I want to say 20%, but maybe... Most people live in cities these days, in towns. I'm going to say 80%.

Right. And their global climate experts believe that over the next 100 years, the average temperature will either get warmer, remain the same, or get think it's gonna get warmer okay right well of these answers i can tell you sips you got one right and it was that last one oh no uh pflex you got one two three four five six seven right wow pretty good holy crap thank you pretty good but you still got about five wrong well jesus but that's a that's at least okay go back through them i want to hear what the right answer was for some of them so obviously the reality is is that you know the majority of the world's population lives in um middle-income countries you know in china and and oh i guess

yeah they've come up to be sort of like- Kind of middle income countries. Some middle income now, yeah. The lifespan, the average lifespan in China is 77. And the average lifespan in India is 69. Oh, right. So, you know, this has come a long way. Yeah, yeah. It's not as bad as I thought.

Maybe my information is old. And it's because in the last 20 years, it's changed a lot. And when we were at school, we were being taught by teachers who learned it 20 years before them. So they're kind of educating us based on 40-year out-of-date information. And it leads to a lot of pessimism, right? But also through media and through other things, there's lots of facts in this book, Factfulness. I recommend it. Bill Gates is involved.

But the guy who wrote it spent his whole life kind of trying to change people's minds because he found that when he gave this quiz, Sips, to very intelligent people at summits like Davos, they would get the same score as you. Oh, right. So I've been lumped in with very intelligent people. Nice. And I got the same score as you. I wouldn't say very intelligent. Thank you very much. Oh, me and Lewis are very intelligent. That's my takeaway from this. Good. Well, you know, that's my takeaway from this good well you know

that's how you have to start a book is that you have to tell everyone that they're intelligent for getting a quiz wrong is it was it by that swedish guy uh hans something hans rosling yeah i watched his ted talk a good few years ago now he's done a lot of famous ted talks he well actually this was his last work so he wrote this book and then he died unfortunately oh and it was it's a it's a very apparently it's very good about halfway through and i'm really enjoying it it's very very ironically he was killed in a uh natural disaster by an uneducated woman she'd only gone to school for six years and uh caused a huge disaster that killed him so yeah i guess you didn't really twig it but but basically, like, almost all the answers were the best ones. So, yes, 60% of girls in very poor countries finish primary school.

What about the endangered animals ones? None of them are actually critically endangered today. Wow. And, in fact, I think giant pandas I heard this week were not even endangered anymore. They're a pest now. Holy crap. They're everywhere. They're everywhere.

They're just rummaging through the dumpsters and stuff okay you were cute when you were endangered but now this has gone too far stop opening those diapers that's disgusting so they're closed for a reason in the last 20 years uh people living in extreme poverty has halved at least um uh halved and and the life expectancy of the world is 70 years. Yeah, I mean, I was going based on me just being kind of cynical. But also, like you said, probably my education is very out of date at this point. You tend to also pick the more negative choice because that's how we are, right? If I give you three choices, you're going to pick the most negative because you feel like that's how we've been taught really. Also, we feel like we have to galvanize people to action by giving them this negativity. There's a lot of things, and I'm not going

to try and explain it, but if you want to know why we answered this way, it's interesting. In 2100, yes, the world apparently will have stabilized off in population. There will be four billion more people, but there'll be the same number of children as there are now right um which is interesting two billion so what they're just not growing up that's unbelievable yeah i mean it's i guess it's changed a lot like i know like my grandmother um not well one of my grandmothers was married when she was 18 and had kids um basically a year later and then had like six kids and yeah that wasn't super uncommon either yeah oh yeah but nowadays people are waiting a lot longer to have children when they do finally have children they just have one you know sometimes maybe two or whatever if they're crazy they'll have three like we're about to yeah yeah no i

like i feel like that side of things has has definitely changed a lot noticeably to me anyway for sure um natural disasters have less than half people that used to die natural disasters now die wow i guess we got better responses we just have better responses better things in place for dealing with detection early detection and shit yeah yeah and also one percent so it's 80 of one year olds have been vaccinated against some sort of disease so that's really a lot of a lot of modern children um even counting all the people who refuse to get their children vaccinated that's pretty good yes if you're an anti-vaxxer stop listening to this podcast and fuck off please seriously i don't want to catch your idiocy women are pretty close to men in terms of schooling like

nine years of school compared to 10 globally which is which is not as not as big of a gap as we're sometimes to believe 80 of the world have access to electricity wow and um yeah it's like so in fact a lot's changed in the last sort of 20 years really and we do we are naturally we feel quite you i guess you felt and i did quite strongly that i was right do you mean despite the fact that i hadn't done any research i hadn't looked at it no one had really told me i i had i had a sort of awareness of um i know that child mortality is this kind of thermometer yeah it's a good measure countries because basically you know if kids are dying there's problems with infrastructure clean water water, sanitation, food supplies.

There's lots of, you know, you can kind of gauge how many kids are dying. It gives you an idea of how well a country's doing. And in the whole world over the last sort of 50 years, it's really gone from what used to be quite bad in some countries to very surprising. Even in some of the poorest places in the world. It's really sort of only a few countries in Africa that actually look pretty bad. So based on all of this, are we getting closer to creating

a gigantic Mormon vessel that we can then travel into space on? And like on the expanse, you know, like the big round one with the fucking farms and shit on it? I suppose it is quite galvanizing because it does show that despite this pro, you know, it's kind of this silent Progress though. Yeah, I mean that we don't necessarily Lewis isn't it just more fun to talk about all this shit that's happening. Yeah. No, I mean that's definitely a

that's definitely a thing well he's going to hell in a handcart he's going to hell in a handcart but you fucking i don't want to hear facts yeah i guess a lot of that is like because you you often hear older people saying that and i guess i guess what feeds into that a lot is that it's it's just the way that the world changes right like i guess i also a lot of a lot of people especially in the west i guess um grew up and were educated and taught things a certain way and it was fine for them and then when they see that it's changing or whatever i guess they get scared or i think their backs just hurt it's worse i think they just got a bad back and they're grumpy and so they want to take it out on everybody else i guess and they think because their life is getting they're getting older and they're starting to see the end and everything's changing there's a

lot of old people sort of thinking oh everything's changed no one's got any manners these days i guarantee you if we went back to victorian britain they'd be saying everything's changed nobody's got any manners these days you keep going back it's the same shit every generation is the same we move forward this is the stewart lee bit yeah it's like oh you know, Romans coming over here, even as sewers, you know. Exactly. So I think also you're right. Like there's this desire and feeling for the media to report negativity immediately. You know, they'll be like, Elon, I heard on the radio today, Elon on the radio, on Alexa today, Alexa.

Alexa, Alexa, tell me all about Elon Musk musk oh god so so i'll let that play there you go this is enough now put up with that she so so she told me that elon musk had said oh tesla aren't accepting bitcoin anymore so it's instantly plummets and then of course by the afternoon it's back where it is before anyway you know so it's like but they don't report that you know it's all it's the negative stuff that that people are i don't know it sells or that feels like it's worth it leads all that kind of stuff yeah yeah so here we're talking about the past and one thing i was thinking about the other day i watched ghostbusters uh last night because i was bored and it popped up on netflix and I was like, yeah, fuck you. What, the original?

The original. And I remembered that when I was a kid, my mom had a job where she had to work quite long hours in the evening. And she would go out, she'd cook us dinner, and then she'd go out and she'd probably come back at about 11 o'clock midnight. And when I was a little older, I would go and get her and walk her home, you know, because she was like a woman on her own at night and everything. I don't know what a 14-year-old boy to do but i was you know reasonably tall did you have a

hoodie because i mean i i would wear my biggest black coat and i would have a i had a baseball bat really and i would keep it down the side of my jacket i mean it was it was bournemouth like there's no chance of any trouble but in my mind i was doing my job you know my dad wasn't there so i had to look after my mom and everything but we had um obviously but i don't want to get all old man about it but we literally had there were four channels if there was nothing on there was nothing on and god forbid you read a book or do something else so we had a collection of vhs tapes that we take movies or tv shows off the telly yeah of course me and my sister would exactly so me and my sister would have to agree just two kids siblings which who never agree about anything

we had to think what the fuck are we going to watch and we'd have this movie collection and every time i see a movie i think yep i can remember and i can see the tape and i can picture how my mom had written the name of the film on there. If it was something I really liked, I'd go over it and do a kind of graffiti style, like cool, or I'd try to do the actual logo for the movie, like the Goonies or something like that,

or aliens. I'd try to actually make it look like the posterized version of the word. And I just Googled classic 80s movies and looking through this list, so many of them we had the vhs recording of stand by me is a film i have not watched in a very very long time that's a classic i think everybody had some kind of that stand by me is the one with the scene on the the railroad

track yes like the very famous scene where they have to run away yeah but i mean it was like like the cast of that movie was pretty crazy like fucking i think it was will wheaton was in that fucking film yeah there was a bunch of um there was a bunch of like uh cory cory haim and river phoenix river phoenix yeah it was all the sort of like of the day child child stars no wasn't it it was it feldman cory hell haim was cory it was it was not it was cory haim was in lost oh that's right yeah sorry cory feldman was the guy who's a he's a nut now but he was so he was you don't uh you don't see that sort of format for movies anymore right like i like i guess back in the 80s there was a lot of sort of like um coming of age tales and you had like a lot of sort of teenage or younger younger actors in

them but at the time they were fairly well-known, right? And they would go on to then get other roles. And so I can't think of any movies that come out nowadays that have that format, right? So here are some 80s teen movies, okay? The Breakfast Club, which was like an iconic movie of the 80s. I hated that. I watched it recently.

It's very dated. It did not hold up at all. Yeah recently it's very dated it did not hold up at all yeah it's very dated I don't even think it was ever that good to begin with I don't know

well I heard for some reason it was one of these things that I guess it's like my teacher it was good when he watched it

or whatever do you know what I mean it's one of these things if you were 15 or 16 when you watched it people used to think it was good Ferris Bueller

was another one but none of the actors were actual teens they were like 30 year olds they were all the oh my fucking cameron is clearly not at high school come on the lost boys which was another classic uh 80s movie that was with cory hayman cory that was the rare double cory that was the two corys weird science do you remember weird science remember that because it was in the video shop in my village and it had tits on the front of the VHS

and my parents wouldn't let me rent it because it had tits on it. It was so good. They make a woman. And of course, she's incredibly hot and she thinks that they're awesome. And I think they fuck her. I can't remember. Jesus. But basically, I thought it was the best thing ever.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which is a classic. The Outsiders, which was like so many actors in that went on to do other stuff. It was crazy. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, which was a classic. Stand By Me. What was the one with, was it My Girl, where Macaulay Culkin dies at the end and gets stung by a bee or whatever? Stung by a bee, yeah. That was one of my sister's favorite movies. Sorry for spo dead poet society which was like a i love it when macaulay culkin gets

stung by a bee and dies yeah that's a dead poet society very famous one of the highlights of the 90s heathers was a big one mystic pizza was a big one um i mean these are these were all teenager led movies adventures in babysitting right probably another one too uh labyrinth was kind of i mean i was i was in love with jennifer connelly i would have been a couple years younger so what movies are coming out recently like i mean i know with the pandemic like not not that much has been coming out but right those formats seem gone to me i don't know i can't think of any modern equivalents. Because those teen movies have always been there.

Remember, it evolved into the American Pies and all that stuff. I guess. But even those you don't see that many of anymore. But it evolved into young adult stuff. It was Hunger Games and, you know, the Maze Runner and all that. Oh, right, right. I guess Hunger Games is kind of the equivalent now, right? Something like that.

They are absolutely still there. We just don't watch them. Oh, right, of't watch them all right of course yeah that looks wank it's got fucking teenagers in it fucking cares it's gonna be i couldn't even tell you a movie that's come out this year like i i pay so little attention to that space now like i don't know what's come out what's been good what's been bad oh i guess there's that king kong one that you watched that came out this oh yeah yeah oh man i still think about that tenet tenet was the other tenet i haven't i know nothing about it i haven't seen it i like i watched um i watched the father which was the nc hopkins it's really good yeah and actually it did like give me a bit of sort of sort of stress because it was very reminiscent of my my gran who had dementia um

and was sort of struggling to keep track of things but yes honestly fantastic movie the father i really enjoyed you know what i watched the whole series of ted lasso oh yeah did you like it oh my god i love that show i told you it's so did i not tell you it was i didn't say it wasn't gonna be good i just didn't have apple tv sorry i just be good. I just didn't have Apple TV. Oh, no. Sorry. It's coming from a guy who doesn't know anything about football. You know, Sips really enjoyed it. Yeah, but neither does he.

It's good. Okay, the new season is on Apple TV at the end of this month. I know. I can't wait. It's like in two weeks it's coming out. So here's how much I liked it. We got Apple TV because Mrs. F got a new iPhone. Oh, okay.

So you got the year free one year free apple yeah yeah my mind we started watching it at about eight o'clock and i stayed up till 2 30 watched the whole series yeah i know it's crazy right it's just such a good it's not that funny i didn't find i wasn't laughing out loud but it just had nice moments it was just really feel good it was yeah it was it's nice it's just i mean i love his character is brilliant i love the relationship with beardy the coach and everything yeah and it's just you're right it is it is not like a hysterical laugh riot i did find some of it very funny but i mainly just thought i just want this i want these characters to do well i really yeah yeah you get invested in them right like they're they're

really well well written and, it's not like, it's not groundbreaking, but it's just a really nice experience. It's a really good show. It's a good show. And these are some top tips. I'm glad you like them. Well, there you go.

So, yeah, check out TrackLib on YouTube. Check out Factfulness if you want to get a good book. It's really good. Yeah. Really, really good. And check out Ted Lasso

and The Father. They're some top recommendations for this week there you go thank you I was on Pitch Please you can check that out that's our sister podcast

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