Triforce! - Triforce! #186: Raising a Child Prodigy

Episode Date: August 4, 2021

Triforce! Episode 186! The Olympics are on and we're wondering what it takes to create a child prodigy! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Go to http://manscaped.com and use code TRIFORCE to get 20% off with free shipping. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, welcome to Triforce podcast. Coming to you live from communist Russia. It is best podcast. In Russia, podcast listen to you. Or something. Let's start again. That was great intro. What are you talking about?

Are you a member of the ROC? What is it? Yeah, the Russian Olympic Committee. This is a disgrace. Russian Olympics, we never cheat. Some of these guys and gals just got really big really fast. That's how the cookie crumbled. We put it in the cookie. We put it in the cookie put it in the

crumbly cookie that is how it crumble crumble into giant peoples they can lift much more than other peoples they can run much quicker and swim like a fish i think i haven't watched any actually I watched the Olympic opening ceremony Oh man, I'm a little different No, I didn't actually watch the ceremony Funnily enough, but because I'm up at like 5 o'clock every morning

And it's covered extensively On BBC One For like most of the morning in the UK I've watched tons of it I thought BBC only managed to buy like two sports i think they have taekwondo and no they're doing some they're doing full coverage no they're not they're genuinely not the deal with that they got with discovery was that they can show two events at a time live right that's it no but like they're still

covering all of the highlights and they're showing replays and stuff like actually the coverage is pretty no sure but it's still super extensive you can still get like uh you know you can still find out everything you want to know you can see which horse-faced slightly upper class person has won a horse or shooting or sailing related event yes the commentators for that are all posh as well here comes tarquin demarcy montford a wonderful little pirouette there on the horse it's a pirouette right like that's like the hardest thing to do tale okay if you can if this guy can just simply master doing five pirouettes back to back then i'm sure he'll get a gold medal because most people can

only do one pirouette and because his father father knows the committee, so well done, Tucker. Yeah, I don't want to shit on the Olympics too much, because I generally like the sentiment of getting all the countries together. It felt like a really shit Eurovision, you know, the Olympic opening ceremony where they sort of parade in everyone. And a lot of these countries are so tiny and almost non-existently small, like the Solomon Islands and stuff. And it's just three guys in suits with, you know,

they're one or two Olympic people. Or sometimes they didn't even turn up, you know, because they're like, well, we've got a race on day one, so I don't want to do the Olympic opening ceremony. So actually quite a lot of athletes don't bother. Even like in the commentary team, they had like various sort of ex-Olympians, and they were like, yeah,

we don't bother going to the Olympic opening ceremony because day one, we've got a race. Day one, we're having a big shag sesh back in the Olympic Village. Day two, shag sesh. Day three, shag sesh. Well, I hope not because I found out that one of the gold medal Olympians for skateboarding is 13 oh jesus well obviously they're not invited but christ i mean you know everyone else i didn't know that they could i

knew that some of the athlete um athletics like floor people have conventionally been very young but man that is that's pushing it what's the age hey timmy we're all going for milkshakes after the event uh meet us at bob's milkshake parlor at 4 o'clock He shows up. Nobody's there because everybody's off having sex Get rid of that Fucking in peace for Christ's sake oh shit But no it was incredibly strange the Olympic opening ceremony because overseas in Japan and I wanted to watch it And I got like I made sure I was like

it started at 12am lunchtime, it started at lunchtime and that was like 8 o'clock in Tokyo and they had a lot of sort of traditional stuff like some guys like bringing in woodworking tables and dancing around them for a bit which was terribly boring and went on far too long

and then there was some kabuki theatre stuff which was quite interesting and there were some weird songs and some some some like interesting people obviously that we've got no idea who they are but they're famous japanese people they did it they did all the traditional stuff right like they passed the torch on to like 20 different people ran it around the stadium a few times loads of people touched it and licked it and kissed it yeah went all over the place and then a man from the olympic committee came it and licked it and kissed it. Yeah. Went all over the place. And then a man from the Olympic committee

came in and did the 30 minute most boring speech you've ever heard in your life. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what

you're expecting from the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Like, it's always like that. The guy who did the speech had like, clearly,

it was like he'd never done a speech before. It was like, he'd never even watched a TED talk on how to make a vaguely engaging speech and the dumbest thing about this one was is i don't know why they even bothered going for the full four hour opening ceremony there was no audience whatsoever it was just like all these

people coming out waving to nobody and stuff like it was global audience lads very sure but the viewers anyway the actual events have been uh have. And some of them more so than others, for sure. But I don't know. I've enjoyed it. I kind of like that it's on. It's been refreshing to just have on in the background. Like I said, I'm in a different situation to both of you guys because I'm kind of forced onto a couch at like 5 in the morning

and it's nice to have something. But like, I woke up this morning and I usually, I try and avoid it nowadays, but I asked Alexa for the news. Well, waking up in the morning. And, yeah. I'm hoping one day I just won't. No. So Alexa told me that two people I'd never heard of hadn't won medals.

They'd come forth. And I was like, well, I didn't need to know that. Not everything has to be about you. What use is that? Yeah, well, so what? So basically, you're only happy. The two people I've never heard of didn't fucking win a medal. You're only happy if Arnold Schwarzenegger wins it.

What else has happened? You know, a man in Slough went shopping and didn't buy bread. Like, I don't need to know this. Yeah, but imagine if there are people out there who are very interested in whether that man from Slough won bread. Not me. Yeah, but it's not about you you i feel like i'm pretty clued up like i watched the opening ceremony i've had i've done more research than most people you should know everything yeah well i don't know all these do you have hundreds of upper class toffs who live in a country house and go oh shall we pop out on the laser for the afternoon, Sandra? Oh, yes, why not? Funnily enough, a lot of people out there would say that if there was like an Olympic-style event for like a fantasy book series, like for the Wheel of Time or something like that,

and then the big news was that Jamie from Croydon forgot to read book number five from the Wheel of Time and you thought that was interesting, there'd be a lot of people out there who just thought why the fuck do i need to know this it's the same thing right like you're just not that into it you don't need to but the rest of the news was also no news the rest of the news was like that that b-tex were going to be cancelled but they're not now right that's not news listen i i like the news good and boring i want it good and boring there was at least 30 seconds about how the UK Met Office has decided that climate change is real. Yeah.

And it's like, we knew that. Wait, so previously they were on the fence? Well, no, but exactly. Like, exactly. No, they weren't on the fence. It's just repeated, doubling down on stuff we already know. I was a climate change denier, like hardcore, up until... Up until Alexa told you this morning.

Not even until then last week we the the temperature reached 32 degrees here which it was too hot like uh the houses over here are not designed uh for 32 degree heat right like they're actively melting 99 of the rest of the year it's just miserably mild over here which is fine by me i'm used to it so when it when the temperature peaks over 30 degrees and my house becomes an oven it's insufferable like i just couldn't that was your tipping that was my big tipping point yeah that's when i think a lot of people it's kind of like like all those stories you're seeing now with anti-vaxxers who are laid up in hospital with covid who are like oh my god please get the vaccination. I've changed my mind as they're dying.

I'm like that with climate change. I'm just joking, by the way. I do believe in climate change. I've also been thinking about Olympic sports. There aren't as many as there are. He's back on it. There's fucking loads, right? There's like 300 medals worth.

There's like, you know, swimming 200 metres, swimming 200 metres with a different stroke, swimming 200 metres with a different stroke again, swimming 250 metres, because apparently that's different. Do you know swimming 200 meters swimming 200 meters with a different stroke swimming 200 meters with a different stroke again swimming 250 meters because apparently that's different do you know i mean like they're all swimming 250 meters however you like but everyone just swims the same as the you know the other ones i don't know it's there's a lot of duplication right and i feel like obviously a lot of athletes go in for multiple they come out oh this guy's got 17 gold medals this year like i agree that's fine and i also more sports shock add skateboarding add them get them in right like

darts where's that why isn't that in there um well i think maybe that maybe they should add like i don't know more stuff that we're used to doing right like changing your electricity provider you know that feels like something that people do a lot so you just want an everyday man olympics you want like a like a dad olympics sort of thing he wants something that he could fucking conceivably win right that's the thing just thinking selfishly no not selfishly but more just like just to level that because you don't have to be an upper class toff with a inheritance the lad that was doing taekwondo was some lad from Doncaster. There's a lot of non-tops. You just need a fucking dressing gown to do Taekwondo.

You don't need a million pound yacht on a private lake. Do you know what I mean? Right, but to be fair, that's most events. It's just running. A lot of Olympic events and a lot of the athletes that come up through the Olympics are kind of like discovered though, right? Like it's not just you go to a posh school and then that's your ticket into the Olympics. There's tons of people who are not at all posh that become athletes in the Olympics because they've got good programs over like in the UK for sure.

It's the lottery funding that made a huge difference. They have a lot of really good programs to produce Olympic athletes. I hope so. I'm a bit cynical towards it, but it definitely does feel like... No, there's like a 21-year-old guy from Leeds or Hull or somewhere like that won gold in mountain biking, which is just like... And he was kind of scooped up to compete in a cycling event not even particularly mountain biking he just chose to do mountain biking because he liked it more than the others but his lead up to the olympics was like six months like he wasn't

training for four years with this dream and stuff he was just like like on the off chance somebody's just like holy crap you're really good at cycling like come come and do this training and come in and compete and he's just like yeah okay and he and he won a gold medal so it's like the stories are different across the board like for sure it's not it's not always the same i was i watched the story watch the fucking skateboarding what what a pile of wank honestly it was so boring yeah there's been no progress in terms of tricks in 40 years no like it's the same fucking shit it really peaked in the 90s it's just boring it's just not as popular as it once was maybe i don't know why they they should have had it in the olympics when it was big in the 90s right like they should have they should have been on the ball instead of x games yeah but like yeah

to just to just finally introduce it in 2021 is just a bit i don't know it's i like it's i i'm glad that it's in but i agree i i think it's not as exciting it was just super boring maybe would have been a lot of the a lot of the olympic sports are and have become very impressive if you like you know i think watching any of the floor stuff or a lot of the diving is pretty nuts. Fucking gymnastics as well, that pummel horse and all that shit. Like, it's insane what people can do. They're flying all over the fucking place. It's nuts, man. Holy crap.

It's really cool. And I like watching, like, the sprints and stuff. I'm not so into anything where it's just a long run. No. But even that in itself is is pretty impressive i mean like like some of the some of like the the the longer distance like cycling stuff and everything it's just like it's all different disciplines it's all i guess i lose perspective though of the the i guess that's why the commentators are there to tell you why these athletes, you know, like hurdles, right? Like I watched this whole thing about hurdles

and they never once mentioned how it's an advantage to be a little bit taller. Do you know what I mean? I watched like a whole 10-minute thing and I was like, surely they're going to mention the fact that some athletes who are a little bit taller do better at the hurdles because they, but no, they never mentioned it. So maybe in fact

it isn't maybe it isn't anything to do with it well if you've got longer legs there's more chance you're going to get tangled up on the

on the dirtle yeah you don't want to get tangled up on that dirtle for sure well that's the last thing you want for sure because you're more

I guess yeah maybe in fact it's maybe the little people have a big advantage I don't know whether size I'm interested because a lot of these sports do feel like Maybe, in fact, it may be the little people have a big advantage. I don't know whether size.

I'm interested because a lot of these sports do feel like weight and size. And like, you know, some some because you see all these like long jumpers and triple jumpers and they're all like really skinny. You know, obviously able to like lob themselves far. But I don't know. But sometimes it's the other way around. You know, like a heavy guy can get more momentum on the shot put or whatever. I'm just interested in that sort of stuff. Yeah. And I like that.

I can understand it. Like, almost in my mind, it's like you can min-max, like if you're training for an event. Well, yeah. You train for something specific for so long and you build up all the muscles that you need for that one specific thing. and you build up all the muscles that you need for that one specific thing. I think something that's really interesting as well is I was watching, like they do these segments, like these kind of like athlete profiles in between some of the highlights and stuff in the coverage. And there was this young girl, I think she was like 16 or 17 years old or something.

And she started by being really good at playing football um and she was just like dominating like all of her school teams and everything and her parents are just like what the hell do we do with this girl like she's just like insanely good at football like how do we become obsessed with non-womanly pursuits we must put her in asylum get her into something that'll like actually challenge her because she's just walking over all these people and then uh and then she decided at the age of like 15 that uh that she wouldn't be able to be in the olympics she went back she went young no no no no this is like this is the lead up until her being in the olympics right so she decided that sorry like at a younger age she's like okay

well i won't be able to be in the olympics if i just. So I'm going to start doing kickboxing or something like that, like with a view of getting into like maybe Taekwondo or something. And then she became like some superstar kickboxer, just like, like just demolished everybody and stuff. And then she was still like, oh, there's no kickboxing in the Olympics.

I'm just going to get into normal boxing. And now she's just like some gold medalist boxer. And it's just like, what? Wow. When I was that age, I was just like picking my nose and like not doing my book reports and like smoking behind the bike shed. You know, like I, there's, I don't, I don't know how you have that much ambition at that age.

It's just like some of these people are just like, um, you know, like, like superhero levels of, I don't know, like they have some sort of like foresight or I don't know what it is. They're just like, I don't know, like it's like miracle people. It's true. They drive it often as well. It's not like everyone assumes, all right, it's their parents pushing them into it. No, no. My parents tried to push me into stuff and I was like, I don't have any.

Yeah, same here. God. They paid a lot of money for clarinet lessons and do you see me playing the clarinet on a daily basis as an adult hell no you don't because that shit sucks like that really sucks i don't want to play that shit why is it that in the olympics yeah why a lot more kids would be keeping up those clarinet lessons if they could win a bronze medal? Yeah, absolutely. The clarinet. Toot! Oh, that's a gold medal winning toot right there. Oh, man. The commentary team. Oh, yeah.

Back in the 80s, our clarinets, we had to make them ourselves out of bamboo. God, do they all have all these weird fucking stories of how times have changed? Yeah, there's been some good ones, though. There's the rowing team, the women's rowing team. They did a profile on, her name is Helen something. Sorry, I can't remember her name, but it was still very interesting because she'd won the gold medal in rowing in Rio, I think it was.

And then she planned on not competing in Tokyo in tokyo so her and her husband had uh had twins they already had a son and then they this they decided that they were going to have another baby and they had twins so she was just like juggling like trying to feed these newborn babies um sort of like home life working life her husband was still like looking after kids doing all this stuff. And then she decided that she was going to compete in the Olympics again. So she had to go start training and everything all over again. And this is like coming back from not have done any training.

She'd put on a bunch of weight from being pregnant and everything. She was totally out of shape. And she's just like completely turned it around, qualified and everything, made it to the Olympics. And now her and her partner are like in the finals for the rowing. It's fucking insane. Like the drive. Oh yeah, they came fourth.

They're the ones I'm talking about. Oh, is that them? Yeah. They came fourth. There's no way. They should have at least gotten a silver medal, right? If they made it to the finals. No, they...

Oh, I guess there's a lot of people in the rowing final, right? There's a lot of teams. the rowing final right there's a lot of teams what is it like six or seven teams or something like that i don't know but i think i this i think this is who because they had a message for their she had a message for her kids on the radio or whatever and i was like oh i can't be asked to listen to this i don't care i didn't know her story though her story is so good though like's a shame. It would have been such a nice one for her to win. I just wanted her to be, like, rowing with, like, while breastfeeding. Wow, man.

She's not far off, honestly. It's insane. So was she the first mother to be on the Olympic team? Or first mother to row for Britain? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Sure. So get this, right?

There was this guy called Laszlo Polgar. He was a Hungarian educational psychologist and chess master, right? There was this guy called Laszlo Polgar. He was a Hungarian educational psychologist and chess master, right? He was a very good chess player. And he had this idea that he was an educational psychologist, so he was really interested in how to train kids and stuff like that. So he probably had some really wacky ideas. The government put them all in place and it caused massive disaster because it was all theoretical garbage.

The children of Hungary were never the same again. Incorrect. But here's what actually happened. His claim was that if you start training a child, this is this premise that he had. Any child has the innate capacity to become a genius in any chosen field as long as their education starts before their third birthday and they begin to specialize at six. Yeah, I think that's about right isn't it like a lot of these like uh child prodigy people who are great at certain things always start from a very young age like around five or six years old that's so insanely young i mean i have a five-year-old i can't even i can't even get my five-year-old

to reliably go to the the bathroom properly most of the time. So I don't know how people are starting to train them to play chess and stuff. It's insane. Well, I'll tell you what. His four-year-old daughter, when she was four, she quite liked the little chess pieces and she thought this is fun. Everyone said this is bullshit, Laszlo. This is never going to work, mate. Your daughter's never going to be chess grandmasters.

Women can't play chess. You're an idiot. His three daughters were considered some of the best female chess players of all time. His eldest daughter is considered the best female player of all time. She was the only one ever to be in the top ten. And his second daughter was the second best chess player of all time. And her name was the Queen's Gambit girl. The Queen's Gambit girl.

And her name was Magnus Carllson what's her name again i did it it's very possible to uh to train people according to laszlo polgar yeah no i mean i i think if you want to if if that's the the road that you want to go down um i i agree with him personally i would never bother to do that with with any child but um you know if you're that way inclined and you want to produce uh some sort of you know genius or um you know uh competitor or whatever then yeah you got to start early for sure you got to get them into into stuff there's some kids at my son's school, for example, whose I'm guessing their fathers were mad into football, would start playing football with their kids from a very young age. And some of these kids were just like really good at football at the age of like six years old or whatever.

It's pretty weird. It's weird, yeah. I guess like before you even know who you are, you are a prodigy at something. Yeah. According to this guy, which is pretty weird. Yeah. You don't even have a choice in the matter because you're just so used to already doing this that you just feel like this is your whole life.

Right. Yeah. Well, I guess a lot of people, I guess, don't remember their childhood. And so I feel like it's not exactly autopilot. There are obviously kids are aware of themselves and know what they're doing and know what they like and don't like and stuff. But but I think, you know, they're obviously kids. They they they don't know. You know, I think I think if they're easily led and easily tricked and easily guided to be something. And I think a lot of you see in Hollywood with child actors, I'm sure being pushed into it and not wanting to do it.

But then once that's it you're that you know i think it's got to be tough right if you've if you if you reach 15 and you're suddenly you're a chess prodigy you know yeah you better be willing to do that for the rest of well not necessarily you don't have to yeah i think it's also if you're good at something if you're good at something that has to that has to make it more pleasurable than if you're shit i mean if your kids by the time they're 15 are considered the worst chess players of all time maybe it's time to give up and they wouldn't do it but if you're from an early age winning things it's like i guess i just i'd like to know whether these where the kids you know who grow up and have

been you know extensively laszlo trained do you know i mean to become well it's not gonna work in every case because you have to consider as well that all of the tournaments that laszlo's kids would have been in who have then become these decorated chess players or whatever uh were populated by lots of other kids in the same boat right whose parents push them uh to become very good at it or whatever and you never hear about them so there's there's tons of stories where people have tried to do this and it hasn't worked you know what i mean you can't just say that something works because it's worked for one guy and his kids you know what i mean like he he just like well you thought it would work and it did work but there's so many people it just does not work for, right?

Right, but I don't know if those kids were trained the same way that his were. And also, if you say, I'm going to do this thing. They didn't eat enough Wheaties in the morning like he did. He had the secret recipe. We could not afford a chessboard. We could not afford. We had to play with little pieces of paper and just a chalk outline on the ground yeah you know it's like you hear these stories about brazilians who's had to learn to play with a golf ball or something do you know i mean because they couldn't afford a football stuff like this and becoming very good

because of that but i wonder how much of it is a kid saying something once and then the parents getting that in their head that that's what they're into and then it becomes the thing they do all the time do you mean or and also how how happy these kids are once they've grown up and things like that i don't know anything about it and i don't know whether it is a positive thing to have this life goal and this thing that this history and this thing you're really good at is it really satisfying to be a teenager and have like this just thing that's always been as long as you can remember something that you've done and are knowledgeable about and have like a you know is is that you know almost like having a second language you know just coming with you like i'm sure a lot of kids do grow up bilingual and kind of it's useful and handy to have that right um and i

wonder what they sacrifice that always felt like bullshit to me when there were kids at my school who for one of their a levels they would take whatever language their parents spoke so there was a kid who had german parents and he took german a level and of course he got a fucking a that's like you know that's going to help him get into university what fucking cheat that shouldn't be possible you should he didn't have to learn the language through the a level he just aced every exam because he was fluent in German. I mean, oh, I'm going to go to another country and just say I'm going to take English as a degree and fucking own it because it's my fucking language.

It seems like such a cheat. Well, it does feel like he could have just taken a different subject and not wasted all the time in those lessons and then just gone and, I don't know. You can take tests tests you know to prove that you are fluent in other languages right that you can use to show employers like oh you know these are my qualifications and they're quite cheap you just go somewhere and take it and it's it's it feels like yeah you don't need to waste the i mean you've done it waste four years sitting

in basic german for someone who's already you know already has spoken it since it's just it's just to get a free a like it helps you get into a good university if you just get a free a it does i would think they would look at and be like interesting you've taken english french and german what are you going to study oh i want to study maths but uh i could study maths in three languages actually nice i think you'll find though that languages are not as valuable at getting into uni as other subjects are do you reckon they're onto it like they feel like a soft option right yeah um whereas like you know if you're going and studying if you want to study maths at a good university you probably want to have your a levels being maths further maths

advanced maths and chemistry or whatever physics do you mean like they're the ones you're going to pick i don't think people are picking German, French, Italian, and Spanish. It always amazed me, the kids who did those subjects at school. Like, their timetable was just maths, maths, maths, like every lesson every day. It's like Hermione Granger. Oh, my God. I couldn't do it.

It's always... No, I couldn't. I struggled with... I had to drop some of those when I was doing it. There's always... No, I couldn't. I struggled with... I had to drop some of those when I was doing it. It's just... My brain just isn't made for it, I think. I wonder about processing power sometimes. You know how...

Sometimes I'm thinking through something in my brain and I'll get halfway through thinking about it and I would have forgot. I just don't have enough capacity. It goes all fuzzy and grey, is what I'm saying i i can't like i have to get stuff down on paper to like properly plan and think stuff out and it sometimes frustrates me when i you know when you're lying in bed yeah i'm constantly thinking like oh that this would be really cool and then part of me goes you haven't you're not gonna be able to think this through it's a bad idea and

also you're gonna have forgotten it by the morning and almost without fail i wake up the next morning i'm like i was thinking about something really interesting last night and i have no idea what it was i didn't write it down yeah i don't remember it's like that seinfeld episode you know when he comes up with that joke in his sleep and uh and he can't remember he tries to write it down but it's just like all gibberish and he's like trying to figure out what it was and then yes i've managed to figure it out at the end of the um at the show but it wasn't a funny joke it wasn't actually funny because nothing no ideas you come up with that you think are good when you're in dreams or asleep no when you when you look back at them and you actually remember you're like that doesn't work yeah or it doesn't make any sense you know what i i read the other day i i saw this

thing the other day um about a cure for phobias which is interesting and it's just just talking about how the brain works and what they've come up with is this new technique where they get you to be fucking shit scared of like a thing that you have a phobia of so let's say you were really scared of spiders they expose you to that spider for a couple of minutes get you good and scared and they give you this beta blocker or like some kind of pharmacological thing and it gives you amnesia of that fear and you're no longer afraid of it oh wow what they've postulated is that when you have a phobia wow what it actually is is a deep-seated memory something so far back you can't even remember what caused this fear it might have been when you were a kid a spider spider, you know, stole your lunch money or whatever. Crawled on your newborn face or something.

Yeah, or a member of your family freaked out about a spider. Yeah. And you thought that that's how to behave around spiders. Right. So what they do is when you are making a new memory associated with that one, it's sort of your brain sort of calls up that old memory and then appends this to that so what you do is when it's calling up the old memory and sticking the new one in there and filing it back in long-term memory uh when it's calling it up you block it with this drug and it

doesn't put anything back so it's like it's like recalling that old file to stick a new bit on the end and at that point you give them the drug and their brain goes oh i don't remember what i was gonna do anymore and where i was gonna store that and the phobia's gone this is some sci-fi nightmare shit yeah this is like you could change people's memories to make it feel good i wonder if this would work with my memory of the love i have for my wife uh god i'm just joking exactly you. But this is dangerous, right? If you could change how people feel about doing certain things, like if you could change misery to happiness or change boredom to interest,

suddenly people will be happy on their production lines. I don't know. Is that weird? Well, I mean, it's not that. All it is at the moment is specifically it has to be fears related to animals and it has to be in a laboratory. It's very specifically spiders. It's very specific. It's just one type of spider. We've discovered the cure

for fear of spiders, but no other animal. We're still working on those ones. Porcupines we're struggling with and slugs. Slugs have been very, very difficult for us difficult we're out of ideas oh man man i can see the alexa telling me the news of that just we are yet to discover any cures for slug phobias it's like well great thanks thanks for the update. Before we carry on, we all love to take risks every day. But we shouldn't be doing so when we go online

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stuff but honestly early man yeah honestly early man sculpture yeah early man's art oh yeah yeah but honestly i think that's the way to do it like i would i would recommend to other parents for sure that if you have the means um you know or or you can figure a way around the means to just um let your kids try what they want to try right and eventually they'll find something that they that they like and possibly excel at as well. You know, like I think that's the better way to do it in my opinion. Because then they have some more like sort of choice over the matter too, you know. And it may be that they're into something for like a year and then decide that they're just not that into it anymore or whatever.

And then move on to the next thing. But I think it's just like, I think you just got to sort of support them through it as they're finding out about themselves and finding the things that they want to do and stuff i don't know i'd feel bad like pushing my kids into something only for them to become adults and turn around and say like yeah thanks for pushing me into that but actually i hate it i'd be like oh great you know like i i didn't i didn't expect this to happen i thought you were just gonna go out and be like a gold medalist and make a lot of money for me.

You know what I mean? I'm kind of resentful of the fact that my parents didn't push me to do anything, which is why I'm so fucking useless. I don't know. I'm kind of glad. They didn't encourage me to do shit. I'm kind of glad that I got to. It made me very chill.

Yeah, I'm glad that my parents didn't actually. I'm glad that I just was able to, much like how I am with my kids. I thought I was into things and got into things. didn't actually i'm glad that i just was able to much not much like how i am with my kids you know like i i thought i was into things and got into things that i i was a chess prodigy and they just didn't encourage me which is why i'm now bad at chess i was considered one of the the brightest uh eight month old chess players um and they they took my chessboard away when i was a baby and they said no chess for you no for me it was like the moment like um uh home console video game consoles came out my parents were just like rubbing their hands together like oh my god can you imagine how much time he's gonna spend on this thing and not bug us

that's like the best move they they got an nes like almost immediately when they were available and the rest is history baby i spent like every day playing copious amounts of nintendo and like it was oh man it was great well you could turn that into a video game career these days yeah i think this guy's gonna be a fortnight pro well i mean unfortunately there was no fortnight back then i mean i i don't know if is there like a competitive scene for like uh kid icarus or excitebike or any of like the classics? Probably not, I guess. Kid Icarus.

Yeah. You know, there were a lot of Christian NES games and games that came out in that era. There was a couple, I think, yeah. They were trying to encourage kids to be, you know, mindful of Jesus and all that stuff through platform games which i thought was quite quite sweet really they were like we must break into the video game market and just spread the word of the lord but the games they came up with were just all shit yeah like i feel like if they really want to do it they must have the catholic church has got a ton of money they all have invest in a good game christ night and it's like fortnight but you have to go around blessing people instead of shooting them or whatever and giving arms to the poor yeah and uh you know being they have a lot of money but a

lot of it is just in a big slush fund right for all the lawsuits and stuff too like but they could make more is what i'm saying i guess they came up with a really banging game yeah then uh that would be you know it's all sort of slightly out of touch i mean mean, it's, I guess, by its very nature, because the kind of people who are really into religion are not really the kind of people necessarily who are, I don't know, they don't have their finger on the pulse of the other, of why gamers, they have a different mindset, is all I'm saying.

And I don't think that, they've tried to break into rock and all sorts of stuff to appeal to to the kids you know that's that that is part of their mission to get new people on board yeah and save the safe souls um you know but it's yeah i feel like they have like marketing meetings like the lads at the top of these churches where they're like good graphs look at these quarter three islam is killing us here we're losing massive numbers to islam if the children are going to hell stevens what's the plan uh what about a video game get out you're fired how about we just stand on street corners with megaphones and shout with people i like it oh man do it we're so close to the day where one of the big religion uh groups

decides to make a uh a spacefaring vessel for their uh for their flock right like uh i mean you could you could put a giant crucifix we're getting close we're getting kind of close yeah similar to that maybe not at that scale but like is that what happened in the expanse yeah yeah the mormons church pay for the biggest ship ever and it's like a colony ship to go to another planet was it shaped like a giant pair of underpants no it's just like this gigantic um like round cylinder thing that turns around and uh has farms on it well supposedly they could never get it working supposed to sort of honestly pilgrimage if the mormons if the mormons built a spaceship and fucked off to another planet i'd be cool with that yeah go for it yeah honestly well i don't think they planned on the science victory and that well they should have get them all on a cool

idea actually and it's something that you know you you could even see it happen for sure yeah you could definitely see it happen you know i don't think the mormon church is going anywhere with all of its i'm not even saying specifically the mormons but there's a lot of there's a lot of big religious groups out there that would potentially have the money to do it, right? All they need is a figurehead who's bold enough to convince everybody that this is the way

and then off they go into space. I think a lot of religions are burdened by hundreds of years of tradition and crime, criminal criminal crimes Crum by hundreds of years of tradition and criminal things. Criminal crimes. Crumb.

Crumbs. Crummy criminal crimes. Cookies. Cookie crumbs. But I think weirdly the Mormon church feels like, I mean, it's got its share of madness for sure, but it does feel, I guess like more more able to just do weird stuff like that i don't know just get away with it and they could they could do it yeah i

think i think of all of them they're they're the most likely to potentially do it or the scientologists they think yeah well and they have a lot of uh rich celebrity um members as well right so they've already got extra money based boat they've already got a sea-based boat. They've already got a boat and a sea-walk, haven't they? They have a sea-based boat? Gosh, that is revolutionary. They've got like a team of basically a ready-made crew joining for their spaceship, is what I'm saying. They've got the USS Enterprise team loaded and good to go.

So they just need to slap on up there. Gosh. That would have changed the next generation if they were all really religious. Yeah. I would have liked that. Mr. Data, put the prayer mats down and burn some incense.

Mr. Wolf, fire up the crucifix. And let's all say a little prayer before we do battle now. Okay. All right, everybody, bow your heads. And they have to say grace in 10 forward before they have a drink and all that kind of stuff.

It would have changed everything. No, we're not going to shoot our phasers no turn them off mr we don't even have phasers we didn't install them on the ship we're peaceful what do you mean we're under attack just just uh tell them we're cool tell them we're peaceful tell them spread the word of the lord mr data captain they're not receiving this is highly logical would have sucked thinking about it actually that show would have i am i am enthralled that's why they didn't go that way with the show flax they decided hang on this i could listen to hours of this we could talk i could i could do a podcast where we just talk about how stupid next generation

is like we i think there are podcasts out there that exist on the topic as well there's all the lovers of the next generation there's i'd say equal amount of people that like to make fun of it and um it's just so funny like it's got it's got so many terrible terrible things in it yeah yeah it's just hilarious oh my god it's still it's still the best star trek series though like i loved it so fucking good and bad at the same time it's just but there are so many bad episodes oh yeah so many all those ones where they go back to like prohibition era chicago or like uh picard goes on his fucking horse riding trips in the holodeck and shit like

oh anything with a lot of the episodes with q in an awful god he's like dressed as napoleon it's just like, oh, fucking job on. It's when like, it's those times where like, you know when they're in the thick of it and everybody just like, you know, they just, they knuckle down and they're getting the job done. Those are the best next generation episodes,

right? It's when they have a lull in the action and then Picard is painting or playing the flute and stuff like that and you're just like, alright, you guys clearly need something to do at this point like you're just you know you just got your thumbs up your asses you're sitting on this state-of-the-art starship like come on get out there and you know boldly go where no one has gone before let's let's get on with it here like we don't need three episodes of you guys just like stopping at an arby's uh in space and having a rest they're gonna travel yeah i kind of i do kind of like the idea that sometimes

there's just no shit happening they're just literally motoring through space yeah yeah we've got to go to this star base and drop off a letter apparently that's her job now yeah uh so just set do like warp three we're just chill i'm gonna play my flute wolf's gonna have a terrible time with his son yeah diana and and the whole arc of data trying to feel emotion and stuff like that as well fits into what i'm saying like come on find something else to do you know what i mean you have too much time on your hands data if that's all you have to worry about so i'm just thinking they're on this advanced starship right technology up the ass yeah and in their spare time what do they do data does a little painting and plays the there's an instrument that he plays uh fucking the captain this this

brilliant man is obsessed with the shittest instrument imaginable yeah that fucking flute yeah it's like a recorder yeah yeah he literally plays the recorder i don't know i mean wharf just fights on the holodeck i don't know what i mean diana troy and uh and the rest of the women on the ship don't seem to have any fucking hobbies no as far as i can tell they do yoga that episode yeah they do some yoga jordy just lusts after diana like all the time they play like some weird space tennis and space squash a couple of times. Riker just straight up full time is jacking off all the time. You barely see him again. No, I reckon he's banging his way through the lower decks.

Oh, yeah, maybe, yeah. I don't know, though. I think he feels like he should be banging his way through the lower decks, but I don't think anybody's going near him. That's why he's jacking off so much. There's no jock kind of uh attitude no in it's no blizzard activision you know oh my god jesus by the way this week i completed disco elysium oh nice wow um which i don't know if you guys played i tried to play it a year or

so ago and it wasn't i couldn't get into it but uh they put full voice acting in now and i picked it up again and they've also tweaked a few of the things. Do they still have that really annoying kid at the start of the game? Fucking Cuno or whatever. Yeah, they do. God damn it, the worst. But you can just punch him pretty quick and shut him up. Oh, right, okay.

Yeah, there's a bunch of, like, the game, honestly, it is a little, I think it's unashamedly intellectual in places, right? Like it's quite, it doesn't, don't dumb down its story for anyone or try and like kind of, you know, it hits you with some political diatribes and stuff, quite a lot of weird stuff that I didn't really, a lot of it went over my head. But man, if I didn't have a good time bowling around as a as a kind of amnesiac cop who is kind of trying to solve this murder in this kind of weird place but kind of kind of can be you're kind of encouraged to just say and do weird shit yeah um and it's very nice very depressing

atmosphere that game very depressing very very depressing but there's there are lights in the darkness and they are kind of rewarding and so i finished it yesterday um it's hailed as one of the greats like uh everybody that's played it reviewed it whatever um says that it's an amazing game i'm kind of the same as you i played it a bit yeah i got into it a little bit but not enough to keep playing it and it's just something it does feel like a very modern point and click in a sense like i didn't really have to put skill points in i didn't really have too much i played as like intelligently guy right um rather than emotionally guy and so i had to read a lot more backstory and stuff but i actually didn't hate it the voice acting really brings it to life oh my god like so

much more because everyone has because it's this melting pot of cultures right there's like kind of the idea is it's like this island state which was communist and then got invaded by kind of sort of a coalition of of nations and it's got this whole apparently the guy's writing or apparently the guy wrote a whole book a whole thing on this with this universe like spent a long time on it and it really didn't go anywhere right and then they used it for the game and it was a bit of risk but then the game obviously very very well and now apparently there's um gonna be like a resurgence for the for interest in the books and stuff i guess i think there's i think there's a tv show or something being made on it um i could be wrong but yeah disco elysium i really honestly couldn't couldn't say couldn honestly couldn't rate it higher.

It was great. I really, really loved it. And yeah, it is worth all the hype. Nice. And I recommend just fucking... In a way, it is depressing. And a lot of the actions you take that are immediate... Your character is just kind of idiot.

And you're talking to your brain a lot. And your brain's telling you to do the dumb stuff that you're told to do. Almost like when you're standing to your brain a lot and your brain's telling you to do the dumb stuff that you are you know like you're too told to do almost like you know when you're standing on the edge of a cliff and some voice tells you i'll jump you know that call of the void doesn't mean you're suicidal it just means that it you know your brain is considering it as something that you might do and you know rationally that it's a terrible idea but like you still imagine doing it because that's kind of how we were that's how we we're humans we're constantly full of like looking forward and seeing what our actions would result in you know um it's part of who we are we

can't stop it right so it has got a lot of this stuff where you are you get you meet these people and they're annoying or weird or you know there's an immediate option there to like just punch them or like just do stupid stuff or insult them. Like there's like a woman with a horse face and you could be like, you look like a horse. You know, you could just tell her this sort of stuff casually. And obviously if you do it, it does affect the game. It doesn't break the game, but it affects the game later.

You know, they'll either feel bad about it or they'll tell you that it hurt them or something. you know i mean like most of your actions have consequences for doing not bad stuff but just stuff that's insensitive um and sometimes it doesn't matter because the guy's an asshole deserves it and sometimes you you do genuinely feel like oh yeah well fuck it i did a bad thing i'm gonna apologize and But I ended up becoming sorry cop. That was what my archetype was for the game. Like, sorry, I was just apologizing to people. I was just like, I was just like, I got,

and also I was boring cop. I got an achievement for, say, 10 incredibly boring lines. Because I sort of, I started getting into the idea of the murder and wanted to solve it. And I sort of forgot that I was in this mad world where I could kind of do anything. And I started just being like, oh, so let's, so where were you at the time of the murder do you know what i mean i started getting into cop role cop cop right and becoming like a like a carbon copy of a tv hollywood cop you know um so it sort of told me off for doing that not really

told me off but like i gotta get made me aware that i was doing it um and so yeah disco yeah i gotta i gotta get back in i gotta give it another try i just need more time i just i don't have time right now with a baby and stuff like the the very limited amount of gaming i've been doing recently and uh i've managed to stream a little tiny bit which has been pretty good actually it's been a nice break from sort of uh changing diapers and and doing like chores full-time i've been playing uh orcs must die 3 which is finally out on steam yeah it came out on stadia a year ago i played i played it on stadia and i didn't like it yeah i i didn't like it unfortunately are you finding it okay yeah i love it yeah it's great it's uh it's it's as good as one and one and

two if not better which is you know pretty nice it's just it's it's as good as one and one and two if not better which is you know pretty nice it's just it's you know the the gameplay feels nice the traps are very good you know especially if you place them well and combo them and stuff and it's it's always satisfying to like you know pass a level and get five five skulls and figure it out i do like throwing orcs into oh yeah it's like a very i've never never played any of them and also just a a counterpoint i couldn't stand disco elysium i'm sorry yes you you got like 10 minutes in and you just thought it was the dullest full of itself the dialogue in the story i think you have to get past a certain point to to start to really get into it which if you can survive

that long is a great payoff but a lot of people there's there's quite a few people out there who probably agree with you as well flax like i i get out good on them i would be one of them but i'm actually i actually would like to get into it because i hear it's it's great i mean i've heard you know i've heard all these these great reviews and, and like I said, I did try to play it, but it just drove me up the wall. It was just the dialogue and all the descriptions and everything was so excessive that I just thought I haven't actually got time

to fucking think. It's just so much just wank thrown at you. That was how I felt. Apologies. Well, no, I think I felt a similar way the first time I tried it, and I came back and I actually... I think once get i think it is it is quite wanksy and up itself and intelligentsia kind of i'm too stupid for it is what you're saying you're right no i think it's

not i think you're right i think it's a bit rick and morty in that sense that actually isn't that complex um but i think people like to talk about it as if it is and feel like it's a poetic thing but but but yeah i i don't think i'm excited for the tv show honestly i i didn't particularly like a lot of parts of it but i i did enjoy the fact that it does feel like you can go through the game as a disaster of a hero which which, or disaster, just a disaster, just drinking, taking drugs, punching people, doing karaoke,

shooting stuff. Being the bad guy, if you want to. The fact that you can walk through this crazy world as somebody who is actually crazy, and most games don't let you do that. Yeah, that's true. It just felt so refreshing to have those options, because,

you know, you always see this shit in Fallout, and there's other options to pick the bad option, and oftentimes it punishes you because i you know you always see this shit in in fallout and other options to pick the bad option and oftentimes it punishes you immediately you know when you pick the bad option you know and you're like oh well i guess i'm i guess i'm a nice guy i'm just gonna be nice to everyone now i'm playing nice guy you know um that was a common thing in mass effect you know you could pick a bad thing and it would immediately go wrong yeah um whereas in this it's it's always there's always a funny weird thing that happens when when you do it you know and the bad options

are always the most interesting and so you know i had a crazy smile plastered on my face for a lot of it much like the character has and i recommend it if you don't like it don't bother nice it's up to you i'm not your dad that is enough thank you for listening as always if you want ad free we're on patreon triforce broadcast uh you can also get new episodes every wednesday on spotify thank you for listening as always if you want ad free we're on Patreon Triforce Broadcast you can also get new episodes every Wednesday

on Spotify oh my gosh is that can't believe it thank you we'll see you all next week goodbye

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