Triforce! - Triforce! #191: Prison Pruno & Vegan Trickery

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

Triforce! Episode 191! Pyrion's exploring the world of home (or prison) made wine, Sips, having recently played No Man's Sky, uncovers legendary redemption arcs in video games and Lewis arrives wildly late to a wedding and eats leaves. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce to get 3 months free on a 1-year package. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. Introducing the first ever Mazda CX-70. Our largest two-row SUV. Available as a mild hybrid inline six turbo or as a plug-in hybrid, crafted to move every part of you. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast. We're back. I'm joined by my best friends, Perion Flax and Sips. Hi.

What a lovely week we've had. We had a little two days of sunshine followed by torrential rain. Oh, did you guys get a thunderstorm there? A mini summer. Yeah, I'm soaked actually. My feet and legs are wet now. Oh, you have it today. We had ours.

But it was so heavy that, yeah. We had it last night we had i didn't realize we had our big one yesterday morning what i didn't realize was because it's been so hot in the in the daytime we keep the the windows sort of mostly closed up upstairs in the bedroom with the with the blinds down to keep the heat out and then at night you open the windows and you let the warm air out and the cold air in so i open we've got like those velux you know the dormer windows in the uh in the loft so they sort of they tilt it like you know pretty mad degrees so i open these windows at about 8 30 crack on mrs f knocks on the door at about 11 30 and says the bed is absolutely soaking i was like

i was like why and what had happened was obviously i left the windows. I had not heard the rain because I have my headphones on. We're playing Dota and I'm playing Blood Bowl and all the rest of it. She said, but I said, it's only my side of the bed, right? She's like, yeah, it's your side of the bed is drenched. I was like, well, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. So I didn't get a very good night's sleep because I was sleeping in a puddle, basically. But it was all right.

I mean, it dried eventually, but it just it took me a while to get off to sleep because it's hard to sleep when you're sleeping on a wet bed. Your brain is telling you this bed is wet. Now you know how us bed pissers feel. We got our rubber sheets and everything, and we can't help it. It's a damn shame. It's a damn shame, for sure.

It reminds me of the Fyre Festival. Oh, man. That was one of my favorite documentaries ever. I watched that again recently because we were on holiday in the cabin, like the fire festival oh man that was so that was one of my favorite documentaries ever i watched that again recently because we were on holiday um in the cabin and we watched it together like everyone who went to this little cabin together and it was it was everyone was like no i guess no no one else had seen it oh and uh it got to the bit where the guy was talking about how he had to get involved and uh save this festival and get down on his knees

and suck off the... What? Take on for the team, Trevor. That was the whole bit. I didn't see it. I didn't realize it was that kind of thing. It's such a good documentary. You've got to watch it.

It's such a crazy story, yeah. Man, oh man. Well, it was just an incredibly overambitious idea. They didn't really realize that hosting this event on a desert island that you know um they used what was it was it bloody um fidel castro or someone oh no was it was it some drug lord was it pablo escobar's island it might well have yeah

it probably was pablo escobar's island or i guess at one point it was it called what was the name of his place again it was like uh la la casa or like uh less something like that it was it was um yeah he had like an island had like a zoo on it and everything right so this this was not that island i think this was something this was like a remote island that he was using to escape to or hide drugs on or fly fly planes via. Do you know what I mean? Right. It was some transit station for its remoteness rather than its kind of, I don't know, accessibility.

And as a result, I think it was... I think I like the idea of people going and... I know it's a whole... You should see the movie. It's just about ineptness by a whole group of people who obviously have know it's a whole you should see the movie it's just about ineptness by a whole group of people who obviously have good intentions to start with

but are just too lazy and too they're just incompetent and I feel like the way that they plan things like they came up with ideas it was like you know the way

imagine if you had a company and everybody everybody working in the company is a big picture person and nobody is a detail-oriented person and a realist and a planner and an actual grafter right everyone is just sitting around coming up with big ideas i could a couple of companies spring to mind immediately um so it was it was it was like that um so they had all these ideas and it's also it combined with that whole that very modern influencer thing where you then you have the actual influencers who are just attractive people that go and take pictures in fancy locations of them doing cool things

and that is such a draw for some people even now i mean you know people i mean even more so now it's everybody wants to be an influencer there was that guy if you saw the story about the guy who quit his job and went to whichever of the pauls logan or rand or steven or whatever the oh i saw that yeah didn't he want to become like just anything to do with them like he said i want a job i want to work for you yeah yeah and uh you know paul x or X Paul, whatever the hell his name is. I have no idea. Insert name here. You know the guys, like the ultimate chud.

Logan, Logan, Paul. Just a couple of chuds, big, tall chuds. That's them. And he was like, bro, just, you know, get your friends and make some TikToks and get viral, get big. He's like, no, no, I quit my job. I was making six figures. I quit my job to come work for you. He's like, did you sneak back here? He's like, yes. He's like, no, no, I quit my job. I was making six figures. I quit my job to come work for you.

He's like, did you sneak back here? He's like, yes. He's like, well, no, I don't just give out jobs like that. And the guy then posts his reaction. He's like in tears. What have I done? So I think that the Fyre Festival

is kind of like a group of people who think that this will make some great content and great pictures and I've got to go. And it sounds hype, but everyone that goes seems like that guy like it's not like you seem to have many just regular old folks it was all like these

influencer types who are constantly instering each other you know it's like real it's like that vibe going to an island run by big picture idiots with no details and no nothing it was it's unbelievable it's the perfect storm of just everything that's wrong with with that that culture i think yeah for sure that like they were so clueless about the whole and no one it was like no one was in charge no one was doing anything and no one and yeah and they had they just thought if they you know got all of these big influencers that they obviously love on you know what it was before tiktok you know yeah to come out for it that'll somehow i don't know like make money like that it's so weird it's so weird but all the business side of it when he's trying to get money and it's bonkers honestly mate watch watch the document i would recommend it to anybody it is fascinating

and it's it's also kind of cathartic because I don't like these kind of people. You know what I mean? I think a lot of people dislike them, so watching them have a terrible holiday is kind of fun. Oh, man. I have also been doing some research this week, and I think this might be very interesting to you two gentlemen.

Yeah, what is it? We have spoken before about jugging. Right. And we, in fact, we did some jugging merch, didn't we? The Triforce jug. Yeah, yeah. Prison jugging. So which is when you throw boiling water or a kettle of boiling water.

I feel like you're about to say something I'm familiar with, but then also carry on. Just carry on. Because I have some things to add to this. Has there been a recent jugging event? No, no, no, no. This is a new chapter in my, and I would suggest, if I may, our interest in prison culture and prison life. Right.

Okay. Okay. So this new chapter is one word for you. Pruno. Do you know what pruno is? No. Pruno or prison wine. yes is wine that prisoners make it's also called toilet wine because they they make it i know i know can i sell it on you some

more are you interested you'd love some carry on yeah so they get like a base of something like orange juice concentrate or something of that nature. It can just be anything, right? It could be literally like sugar powder or like those. You just need the sugar. Yeah, like just anything that has sugar, which is everything, of course. Especially in America. Because the prison tuck shop is incredibly unhealthy.

Of course. You know, it has all of the junk food, crisps and sweets and, you know, all that crap. So, yeah, you can make it out of chew it's or anything that has a shy high so wikipedia's lists apples oranges fruit cocktail fruit juices hard candy just sugar and high fructose syrup and they put bread in because the yeast in the bread helps the pruno to ferment and they get it all in like a jug seal it up uh they put it on the radiator to get it going then they put it in the toilet cistern like the cistern on top of the toilet right to brew up and there's like a whole bunch of recipes out there it's like a big thing

is prison wine and uh it's it's i just thought this was fascinating when i heard the words prison and wine i thought i love this so much. I love the idea that these prisoners, they've been locked up, they're, you know, murder. They're in there for 20 years. Wow, this sucks. I can't get my hands on any wine.

Don't worry. Don't worry. You're new here. There's a special recipe that I'm going to teach you called pruno. Now, it may give you botulism, which is apparently there have been quite give you botulism which is

apparently there's been quite a few botulism outbreaks it sounds pretty bad it sounds bad and it is made in a toilet it's made in a toilet it's also it's it's not going to taste good but it is prison wine baby and the quest to have fun sometimes you just have to you know a sprinkle of botulism here and there it's gonna happen i feel like no so obviously moonshine has been a thing as long as um people have been a thing i think people have been drinking alcohol since ever absolutely the ancient egyptians drank drank a lot of booze didn't they so i'm sure and also you know every time it been banned, there's been some illegal trade with people making, you know, high proof alcohol out of jam or whatever. You know, there's even some in the old Great Escape, isn't there?

And stuff like this in these prison camps, you know, in the war. You know, they're always making their, there's always some guy, some dodgy guy with a still or whatever making making moonshine and stuff yeah yeah taking his potatoes and turning them into to wine or whatever but yeah it's always it's always part of it right and there's there's also wine wine or like you know buckfast is also the old classic bum wine bum wine which is also sounds even worse than toilet wine but of course what they mean is tramp wine like it's not actually from your bum and nor do you ferment it there nor store it there they mean no they mean well yeah i suppose you could you can actually take wine up your bum which makes you

gets you very fucking drunk by the way uh so don't do that if you ever are considering that gives you it could give you wine give you alcohol poisoning. But yeah, like these sort of inexpect... Buckfast was famously this monk-made, ostensibly monk-made tonic wine, right? And it became very popular in Scotland, particularly,

because it was the cheapest alcohol per... You're getting VFM right there. Value for money, baby. That's it. Exactly. It's because of its high for money, baby. That's it. It's because of its high alcohol content, but cheap, low price. It was better than drinking, I don't know, Skol or whatever cheap lagers they were drinking.

I mean, I'm sure it's horrible, but people are just willing to take that horribleness to get drunk, you know? Because once you're drunk, you don't care where it came from. And you've usually forgotten what you drank as well. No, but once you're drunk, you don't care where it came from. And you've usually forgotten what you're drunk as well. No, but once you're drunk equally, I feel like you don't necessarily want to die either. Like of, you know, some damages.

The evidence would point to the contrary. People when they're drunk do all kinds of stupid shit. People when they're drunk die, I think, the most. Well, I feel like nowadays more so. It feels like you don't even need to be drunk to do stupid shit like there's like a lot of stupid shit happening like right yeah you just need someone filming you and then yeah that's the main one yeah yeah man but i mean it lowers your inhibitions it makes you feel indestructible people want to fight more when they're drunk because they get

aggressive and they think they can you know they could take on any anybody and uh alcohol is uh my favorite drug, but it's also super terrible, really, for society at large. It's bad, but being filmed is different. It's more of an automatic peer pressure, right? Like the camera pressure, because I think that does make people do dumb things, dangerous things, especially more brave, like jumping off stuff.

It's similar, though, because if you're drunk, people can egg you on to oh jump in the canal dave dave's gonna jump in the canal watch him you know and then poor old dave fucking canals never see i got pushed into the canal hey everybody watch dave's gonna jump in and volunteer on his own free will yeah why why is he got tape over his mouth? Why have he taped his mouth up? Why are his hands bound? His hands are bound. Dave's jumping in of his own mission.

Why is he in a garbage bag? Why have you got that pole? Why is there a gangplank here? What's happening? That's you. Oh, God. There's a bunch of other fortified wines out there. Mad Dog, you've heard of that issue.

Mad Dog 2020, which gives you 2020 vision. That's how it works. What did you start with? In my case, I don't need my glasses as long as I've got a swift slug from my Mad Dog 2020. That's Mad Dog 2020, guaranteed to give you 2020 vision. Yeah, there's a bunch of them, actually. Not a guarantee I've got this one called Solnitsa Which is named after a town on the Black Sea

It's a Soviet low-end fortified wine See, now that sounds like a hell of a drink Right there Made from ingredients sourced from Algeria Of all places Just getting better and better It was the cause of many infamous Severe cases of alcohol poisoning.

And its production was cancelled after Mikhail Gorbachev set some anti-alcohol laws up to stop some of the Russian drinking. I mean, Russians are famous for just being drunk constantly. Imagine how bad it was before the laws. Their life expectancy is is shockingly low like yeah if it's still bad because there's one of these things isn't there when you look at the amount of like the male female ratio of a country and obviously china has quite a high male to female ratio because of the one child policy a lot of females babies were killed um because they were sort of they wanted a male to help them work on their...

Often, in some areas, they needed someone to work on their farms or take over their business or whatever. And they felt like... I'm not saying... I don't know how much it happened, but it did happen. And in Russia, it's the other way around. There's a lot less men than women because they die a lot younger of alcohol poisoning. If you look at Russian life expectancy, this is the chart that I'm looking at now on Wikipedia. In 1994, the life expectancy of Russian men was 58.

Yeah. That is unbelievable. That is so bad. That's the same as some of the lowest countries I think there are. 58? The real bad ones. It has improved now. In 2014, it was 65. So well done. I think there are like the real bad ones. It has improved now.

In 2014, it was 65. So well done. They've added another seven years. Oh, that's actually good. That's actually big change. That is progress. It has been getting better. If you look at the charts now, it's up to 72.

But China's overtaken them, and the US is ahead of them again. But Russian women, their life expectancy has been 10 years or more greater than their male counterparts for pretty much the last 30 or 40 years, even though they also had a dip in 1994. What happened in 1994? There was a big decline between 1986 and 1994 of Russian life expectancy plummeted. Was that post-Glasnost? All the shortages and everything is going tits up, I guess, and then it gradually got better from there. That's interesting.

In 94. Is that when they set the fall of the Soviet Union? In 94? No, no, no, that's when the, like if you think about it, it's not gonna be like fall of the Soviet Union, decline in conditions where you're gonna feel the effects immediately.

You're gonna have a few years after that where things are still in turmoil i mean the berlin wall fell in 1990 i think um was it it must have been 89 or 90 it must have been yeah late 80s right i think i thought it might have been 1990 let's have a glass was the whole opening up thing and becoming yeah i mean when when when you go through a crisis people don't starve to death instantly. So it was 1989 was when they started. I always forget. So it was November 9th, 1989. So it was almost 1990. Things sort of limp along for a while.

Yeah, so then you've got like a few years where it declines. And then it's like, blam, everything's gone to shit. You know, basically everything's falling apart and everybody, I can imagine drinking was, you know, a way that people got, got through this, uh,

this tumultuous time. Then it improved to 98, then went back down again. And it's been a steady increase ever since. So well done on turning that around Russia. Wild Russian Vanya was a fortified fruit wine made, uh, sold in the American Southeastern States,

such as Georgia and Florida during the early 1970s. It was referred to in commercials as Wild Russian Vanya. What a wine. However, obviously it was completely US produced. It was never even sold. But it was implied that it was imported from Russia. That's so funny.

I guess because of the reputation of these strong Russian wines. You know, I've been brewing at home myself over the last few weeks. We got this thing. It's called a Pinter. That is such a dad thing, isn't it? I know. It really is. Who bought you that?

Mrs. F. Exactly. You can't. It's such a dad present. I'm sure I bought my dad one one it's all you know it's all really really well made and you open the top which is fucking hard by the way and then you put water in there's it comes with this syrup that's that's the sort of mix if you like for whatever you want to brew then you put in the yeast seal it up it's just give it a shake being a pounder and ground up jolly give it a bloody

good shake and then you just we actually store it in the sort of understairs toilet area because it's like out of the way cupboard yeah so i'm thinking it is almost like prison wine because we do keep it in the toilet. And like Lewis said, I have no idea what's in this syrup. It could just be mushed up polo mints and God knows what. And then you put it in the fridge for a couple of days

and then it's got a little tap on it. And you just, that's it. You get like 10 pints of beer or cider or whatever. And it's really, it's really good. But it's just, I still don't quite understand why we're doing it. But Mrs. F is a big fan. Like it was honestly, I know it's a dad thing to do, but she was like, let's get this quite understand why we're doing it but mrs f is a big fan like

it was honestly i know it's a dad thing to do but she was like let's get this thing look she saw it online she's like let's get her sprue her own beer i was like okay and you can make like quite nice beer like german style beer and it's honestly she's actually she sounds like she sounds like the type of person who would buy a soda stream and uh and would buy a soda stream because she was never allowed to buy like the uh the slushush puppy maker when she was a kid. I think she did put it to me, should we get a SodaStream? And I was like, no. Because I remember my friend from Triforce, Kasim, we mentioned before, Ben Richardson.

Who, of course, is Anna Kendrick's boyfriend or partner. He had a SodaStream. And I would go around to Ben's house. And it was very exciting to me that he had a SodaStream. And I would go around to Ben's house and it was very exciting to me that he had a SodaStream. This would have been in the 80s when they were like a big thing. And we would make SodaStream and it was thrilling.

And it was also incredibly tedious. Like it's definitely not as easy as just going and opening a thing of Coke. And I don't even think it's not any better. It's like demonstrably worse than Coke. But I think it's half the price. Your friend Ben Richardson, who's married to Anna Kendrick. Well, they're not married, but I think they're definitely going out.

We spoke about this in a previous episode. Yeah, I'm sure we did. Sorry, my brain. Because I only found out. I looked him up while we were talking about him, and I discovered. Oh, right. And I was like, holy shit. I've been trying to get in touch with him for years.

He never responds to my messages. I don't blame him. Just tweet him. I have tried. He doesn't respond. He's too big. He's too big and famous now. He lives in LA.

He's got a famous girlfriend. He's got a famous girlfriend. He's just like, whatever. He's got no time for you. Fair enough. So the classic story about I'll brew in your old wine is my dad's beetroot wine. Do you remember I told you this story as well?

He basically decided one time when he was living in this little flat above these students that he would brew his own wine. He sort of lived on his own. And so he made all this beetroot wine following a recipe that he found somewhere. And of course, he made like 12 bottles of it or however many bottles of it. He poured out a glass and found it absolutely disgusting. And so what he did was he left them all out for the bin. But then as he was leaving one, the students sort of accosted him and said, is that wine you've thrown away?

And he was like, yeah, I made it, but it's horrible. And of course, all these students said, we'll have it. And they drank it all. They loved beetroot wine. You could have made a killing selling it reasonably disgusting you could have you could have made some more just sold i guess it is but that is bum that is the definition of bum wine isn't it you know you know student wine you know cheap cheap um cheap horrible wine that gets you wasted oh yeah probably you guys remember the

first time you ever tried beer like Like, you know, like ale? Were you a kid? Like, did your dad let you try some? Yeah, I think a lot of the time when you're a kid, you try your parents' drinks and stuff and you go, and I don't know. The first time I ever tried it was so gross. Like, I shuddered.

Like, it was just. I think everyone does. It's not nice. It is very, very acquired, isn't it? Like, I love it now, but I think your taste buds It's not nice. It is very, very acquired, isn't it? Like, I love it now. But I think your taste buds have to mature or something to get to the point where you can like it because it's just...

It must be the bitterness thing with coffee and green vegetables as well. Coffee is the same. I like coffee or the smell of coffee or anything when I was a kid, but I love it now. Yeah, definitely. And I've gone off, like, the sugary sweets. I can't really, like...

I can eat, like, one Haribo, like the egg, and then I'm like, sweets i can't really like i can eat like one haribo like the egg and then i'm like oh can't eat any more than that but i remember even the day even the first time um eating a haribo egg i love those things the first time i ever even drank with my friends when we were like in in high school we got somebody to buy us a case of beer like 24 beers and i there's probably like 24 of us uh sharing like this one one case of beer but like none of us liked it but but it was you know you couldn't say that because you were drinking with your friends right and everybody had to be like the big experienced drinker or whatever um and i remember that people just would drink like finish like one or two beers and you'd

be like hey do you want another one they'd be like uh maybe after it was just it was just kind of like because we because we weren't acclimatized to the taste or anything yet right it was kind of gross so then i think the the first time we ever drank we did that and then uh the second time it was just liquor liquor mixed with like juice right because it's it's a lot easier to drink than than suffering through beer that you don't like the taste of or whatever it's pretty funny yeah i remember one time so fucking shit face like it's i had some school disco and i wanted to sort of take some alcohol from my house to you know steal some basically from my parents sort of cupboard of alcohol from my house to, you know, steal some, basically, from my parents' sort of cupboard of alcohol

and take it with me, you know, so I didn't have to buy it. I was obviously like, I don't know, 15 or 14 or 15 or something. Probably actually even younger than that. And I remember I poured the only thing that they had that was already open because I didn't want to open any of these bottles, right, because I thought that's a giveaway. The only thing that was opened and had a reasonable amount in that i could you know cut you know deceivingly steal some of was the martini um horrible that horrible sweet

martini mix um it's fucking disgusting oh man um and so it was it was i poured out like a half a water bottle of that topped up with lemonade and it was so disgusting yeah yeah uh yeah like i don't know but that was the stuff you did i remember when you were kids it was always like trying to do stuff that adults did oh yeah i remember very when i was obviously very young probably can't be more than like nine or maybe ten. I was with some of my friends in the park, and they were smoking tubes of paper, A4 paper, that they had just taken from somewhere. Just empty tubes of paper.

We were just smoking empty tubes of paper. That's good, yeah. Just to mimic the old cool adults who hang out and smoke in the park. I don't know. Kids do stupid stuff like that all the time. Yeah, they do. I think it's a shame. They want to grow up real fast, and then once they do...

Yeah, they realize, hang on a second. I'm working 9 to 5. I'm busting my ass every day for a man that I can't stand. And sometimes it takes all I've got to get through the day. And you just think, think man to be a kid again hey like no responsibility why did i wish it away blah blah blah like it's it's easier times yeah i was thinking about this as well i don't know like if you guys uh have this but i find like the older i get i look back more often on like dumb shit that i did right and i and i kind

of like like cringe a little bit to think like how stupid i was like when i was when i was younger and i i never have i had never done that up until maybe like in the past i don't know 10 years or something right um but the the the total lack of self-awareness when you're a kid and a teenager or even in your 20s is is is kind of staggering really isn't it yeah i just like i look back on things that i've said to people or things that i've done i'm like holy fuck like what the hell was i thinking at the time and how did i even get away with it like i don't even understand it's crazy we're just thoughtless aren't we yeah yeah we're young some of the time not everybody but but i think certainly i i was maybe i'm only speaking from experience but i well no i mean i'm there with you yeah um but i i guess if you think about it kids have no agency

at all like my kids have to ask can my friends come over they ask and i think you know my kids ask if they can go poo like exactly of course you can like what are you waiting for go like it's so even though well can you uh or may you right well there you go you can be that kind of dad nobody likes that nobody likes that no but i guess it's kind of a testament to how much the freedom to do what you want to do even if the life is going to be harder which it is as an adult compared to a kid a lot of the time it's much harder when you're an adult, but at least you're free to make your own decisions. And I think kids obviously have some innate desire, that human desire to be free and to be able to make your own decisions and stuff like that. So even though you can look back at being a kid, I also think I can't imagine being told when to go to bed. I can't imagine being told what's for dinner, where I can go.

We're going here this year. Now we're going there. We're doing that. We're moving and not having any saying it whatsoever. I think it's not worth the pay off of low responsibility. It's like the Fyre Festival, though, right? These kids grow up into... There's still kids when they're working for these people,

you know, these Instagram stars and stuff and all the people in their office. They're all young. They've all never had a proper job. They all don't know any, how to do anything. They all just assume the world sort of ticks over and it will work out all right. You know, they have this dreamy laissez-faire attitude to everything. And I think that we are just big kids and we never lose that.

And we all make stupid mistakes. There's an interesting TV show being made about the Clinton-Monica Lewinsky scandal. Right. As if it's some sort of great event, right? When really, it's just two horny people being stupid. Yeah. It's not like, there's nothing deep about it.

It was pretty sensational at the time. But yeah, there's not that much to it really it's just like yeah okay like he's just so clive owen is playing clinton and it's got old um yeah i know that doesn't make any sense sarah paulson's in it i'm not sure who she is actually in it but i assume she's monica lewinsky that one from what if they got Monica Lewinsky to play Monica Lewinsky? The lady with the high voice from Dharma and Greg. Or is it Dharma and Greg? I know which show you mean.

She has a really high voice. I feel like she's got the Lewinsky look. That's Will and Grace, I think. Will and Grace, yeah, not Dharma and Greg. But I knew exactly what you meant. The woman with the high voice from Dharma and Greg. I speak dad brain. I understand what he means right now. Whatever, you know. The woman with the high voice from Dharma and Greg. I'm like, I speak dad brain. I understand what he means right now.

Whatever, you know, she's got a high voice. And the one with the high voice from the Dharma and Greg show. Yeah, I know. Well, yeah. She's a hell of a piece of ass. She'd be a good Lewinsky, I feel like. She's too old. I guess she is now, yeah.

Holy shit. By the way. Okay, I'll give the some context for this i've been watching uh uh sas the celebrity sas this year this year is we're gonna have to get you to jump out of a helicopter and climb across a mountain carrying i don't want to spoil for you but aurica johnson is it was in it this year and she, you know, like the scene at the start of the show. Is she a P55Y? Is she a pussy?

Is she not able to have it? Well, okay, I'm getting to that, okay? Get down and give me 10, Eureka. No, no. Get down and give me 10, you lazy cow. So they take them to the remote part of Scotland where the compound is. They're coming in by boat. And the first thing that they all have to do is jump off the boat into the water, right?

That's the first thing. And you can see them all like they're kind of nervous about being there they don't know what to expect into the water it's all cold yeah exactly so they all jump off the boat into the water and then they have to run up a hill to get to this compound right and uh so orika immediately gets hypothermia and can't run up the hill so they have to take her off to like the hospital she's like 53 years old whatever like i guess she's not in like amazing shape or whatever so yeah i don't know how old you're allowed to be in the sas i'm pretty sure i'll kick you out about 45 and give you some desk job it's a development sort of thing right it's like a

character sort of development it's like a challenge for you whatever if there was a war on i'm just saying aurica johnson is not okay okay just because she's 53 obviously and they're not even keeping her in the show because on the second episode they had to discharge her because uh it was the uh it was the challenge where you have to drop uh off of the helicopter backwards and land in the water they were pretty sure she would die doing it so they were like sorry you have to leave the show and so she had to leave the show anyway she's 53 years old but she looks like a little bit older i don't want to judge too much or whatever uh but the the context well it's probably because she hasn't had too much work done maybe but then um i was looking on on reddit and cindy crawford is like reshooting at the age of 55. She's reshooting all of these like famous things that she like did, like the Pepsi ad in like the late 80s or the 90s or whatever.

And man, she looks like better now than she did back. It's unbelievable. Like maybe there's like some airbrushing or something on the on the pictures. But even then, and this I don't think she's had anything done like i i think uh in actual fact like her agent in the 80s or the 90s said you should try to get rid of that um that birthmark like by your lip and she was like no no i'm not getting rid of that and and she never did so i wouldn't imagine that she's had anything else done like boobs or like you know cosmetic anything and she looks amazing i think she's always been like okay but not not next to cindy crawford is the point i'm trying to make here is uh it's

unbelievable she's two years older and it's just like uh it's like night and day it's crazy cindy crawford i don't know i don't know she still looks pretty pretty fucking hot she looks like she's 30 yeah you're right she definitely doesn't look like she's 30. Yeah, you're right. No, she definitely doesn't look like she's 30. She looks great, though. It doesn't, like, you know what I mean? She's lost a little bit of that softness. If you look at a younger Cindy Crawford, she's a bit more soft. Yeah, well, you will do. Yeah, of course.

I'm just saying. Like, she's in pretty good shape, I think. But then again, like, I think when you're on SAS survival, you aren't allowed to have any of the makeup on. And that is a big thing. No, but you know, like makeup can put 10 years or 20 years on you. They've got all their makeup on and everything in between bits when they're interviewing them and they're talking about stuff and everything. So you do see them in makeup and stuff.

So you get the contrast as well. But no, it was just interesting. We talk a lot about TV on this show. It's weird, but we watch a lot of it. I watch a lot of it. For an Omar. Omar Dimes. Yes.

Michael A. Williams. Poor guy, yeah. Apparently someone said heroin? He was only 54 himself. Yeah. But I think he'd struggled with drugs. And Sarah Harding as well passed away from Girls Aloud. She was only 39.

She died of breast cancer. Unbelievable. Yeah, it's really sad. I think it's very sad. Super young. Jeez, you think 39. Yeah, that's shocking. Yeah, there's a whole lot of life left after 39 for sure.

That's too early to pass away. And then I read about... I'll keep going with this tv news i read about uh lord loring's amazon thing is gonna be just it's so big budget yeah um and and also they've they're doing the bloody wheel of time yes i heard about that yeah which is their robert i mean the robert jordan wheel of time books are iconic very very famous fantasy books they're not as dark as game of thrones they're a lot more like light fantasy or high fantasy i think it's called right magic i've i've i've been

through i went through them all about 10 10 15 years ago and i enjoyed them so yeah i mean i think with new lord of the rings and new wheel of time people are really leaning into this sort of fantasy yeah and i'm really happy about it honestly because there's also you know foundation is coming out on Apple TV if you look at the trailer it looks super high I mean it's proper sci-fi you know it's like real I've actually got that on my bedside table because I've read it what I remember foundation was a while the first sci-fi books I read as a kid and it really you sent me down a path of reading a lot of sci-fi and really getting inside fight well I was when I's some big series coming, baby.

I don't remember it. Big series coming. And June the movie coming out hopefully, what is it, October or something? It's November it's coming out. So, yeah, it's a new age. Hopefully, we're going to have more. I've loved the superhero movies. I loved all the Marvel, the MCU stuff.

I've really been enjoying the What-if series that they've been doing Well, well the new Marvel movie is out. It's called Shang Shang Chi and the ten rings or twelve rings or something It looks okay. Yeah, apparently it's Interestingly the guy who's in the star is called Simu Liu I don't know how to pronounce his name, but he used to be before he was in movies He used to be a stock photography model, right. And so there's loads of pictures of him. Oh, yeah, like in corporate settings and stuff. I saw something like that.

He's been using those to like, he tweeted out one of them with him, with two guys pointing at a screen, and he was like, me laughing at the people who thought we'd flop. He's kind of been memeing himself with his old stock photography model. That is so awesome.

That's like a ready-made meme right there that he can just use to i know if a film if like if you have a lot of memes on the internet that are popular that's like the best advertisement really for your film i think it's like such amazing word of mouth that's that's incredible he's really he's on the front cover of a book called using quickbooks accountant for accounting 2050 ironically that's great i love that you think about it most of them have done like an advert most actors have done an advert or two in their early days but to have uh to have been a stock photographer well that dude is everywhere like he is everywhere that you could just buy shutter stock stuff of him to use as well i mean that's basically the what we talked

about with um you know having your face deep faked onto stuff right like like he's already spent years getting pictures of himself from every angle taken and now he goes into acting he's just like look use this back catalog i made already just i'm not gonna act again you know just put get someone else in and use my face. I love that. Before we carry on, this week's episode is sponsored by ExpressVPN. You can use ExpressVPN for all sorts of things to protect yourself online. But one thing particularly I would say is that watching Netflix without using ExpressVPN is a little bit like paying for a gym membership,

but then only being able to use the treadmill. You can change your online location very easily to control where you want Netflix to think you're located. And since they have almost a hundred different server locations, you can gain access to thousands of different things you haven't watched. This of course works with all the other streaming services. And I do take advantage of that to change my location and get around things like blocks. Like if it says on YouTube, this thing isn't available in your country. I'm like, well, fuck you.

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Why not? Expressvpn.com slash Triforce. You get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free. That's expressvpn.com slash triforce you get an extra three months of ExpressVPN for free that's expressvpn.com slash triforce we love you back on with the show thank you very much oh my gosh well there's loads of interesting stuff in gaming as well

by the way so you know PlayerUnknown left PUBG to work on his new game I thought PUBG was his game well no it was it was sort of a korean company is it called kratos or kran kran kran dos or something oh yeah okay yeah yeah i thought okay um so yeah he left and he's made a new a new game and he's gonna make he's released a little teaser for it it's called prologue right for like this this this this game

he wants to make with artemis and why't he call it Player Unknown's prologue? He will do, I'm sure. So he's made apparently the biggest... He could be like the next Sid Meier. He said... I was playing PUBG and I went to the end and I hit an invisible wall and I thought, why couldn't this be bigger?

And I was like, well, that's not really the point, is it, of PUBG? But anyway, he basically has made this 64-kilometer-wide open world, and his game design idea is to slowly fill it with dynamic or randomly generated events. A little bit like, I guess, how Elite Dangerous and these sort of games work, where they have this massive mega universe, and it's all procedural, right? Like gaming these days i was thinking about this talking about this a lot because um i went to a wedding the weekend i'll tell you about that later um but but um i i i think that these days games that are being developed i'm seeing

it more and more aren't bothering with like a single player campaign instead they're spending their efforts making this sort of procedural kind of rogue light it's called or whatever that's called thing where you sort of make progress as far as you can and then you die and then you start a game but you get upgrades every time like we're seeing that so yeah yeah as an alternative to the classic because i don't think people are super into the stories like i was playing a pathfinder wrath of the righteous uh this week which came out and um man i thought it's really really fun it's a proper single player dnd style we have a little party of people and some of them can leave or die and decisions and stuff and you

you make your party and your team and you you fight your way through dungeons and stuff and i was really really enjoying it um and then i actually died by accident because i misclicked into a room with an enemy that is apparently like really hard and then i i just died and then i it didn't auto save um for at all basically for the last hour and a half of my gameplay and i was just like oh my god um anyway sorry that happened but yeah i think generally games now are about building systems. Like you played a bit of No Man's Sky this week. I have been, yes. I saw you streaming it. It's been fun.

Man, it's actually really good. Which is fun. And it's entirely dynamically generated, which means it's so fresh. They've improved it a lot and they've added a bunch of new stuff to it. And the stuff I'm most interested in is um you can you can create settlements and you can manage them you can you can hire aliens to come in and do stuff oh really that's amazing yeah yeah which seems really cool so i've just gotten i really liked yeah there's a whole bunch of automation stuff that you can do now as well like you can

set up uh like um atmosphere extractors like uh mines and stuff like that but you so you can do now as well like you can set up uh like um atmosphere extractors like uh mines and stuff like that but you so you can have multiple bases across different systems all connected with teleporters and stuff like it's it's been pretty cool and they've definitely i loved that i loved flying around finding plan looking at plants being like oh these are all terrible going to a new place warping along scanning all the planets and being like oh this has got some gold on it perfect i land on it kill a few animals or whatever yeah it's set up set up a base i've got a question because i was watching i was watching sips play it for about 10 minutes um and it looked like a lot of blasting rocks with a laser picking up stuff blasting rocks with laser picking stuff up yeah is there is there like any peril like do you need to build defenses or is it just no not

not immediate it's more just like a um it's it's meant to be sort of like a gentle sort of exploration um you know collect collect them all kind of thing like there is some there's sentinels and certain things that if you pick them up they'll alert sentinels in to to fight you and you can yeah you can fight against the worlds are often very hostile as well like you'd like they're either too cold or too hot you can't necessarily you've got to be careful there's some there's some nasty um flora and fauna out there that can fuck you up if you're not keeping your eye on it and if you die is that the end of the game like no you can play on permadeath if you want to there's an option uh but just in the normal mode when you die um you just um

you just spawn back with no inventory where you last saved but which is a bit of a fuck but you can go and find your body uh which i died yesterday and which is very standard in the game you can't really yeah i mean it's easy to get all your shit back. In a sense, the game does, there are quite a few ways to die and you have to be careful not to do it. But I think that it's one of these games where if you just take, it's not like you're not supposed to pay attention. I think if you were playing it where you had to pay attention to it all the time, it would

be a very stressful game. And the game does kill you quite quickly sometimes. You're like, oh fuck i'm gonna die like yesterday i picked up an egg and then like a million bad guys spawned in and just absolutely killed me which is which is fun though because you don't know what's gonna happen right it's it's nice oh another thing you can do is you can oftentimes you'll die because you're surprised you can have a fleet as well so you can buy like a huge uh freighter and they're massive and you can have like i never could afford it i played the game for like 30 or 40 hours and i had like the starting ship no there's so much to do in it now it's crazy um i've tried playing it in the

past and never it's never really hooked me in in any way but this this time i'm i'm i'm definitely into it it's good they're doing there's a big campaign this week where there's going to be drops and stuff as well which is kind of exciting i guess if people if you play it i mean by the time you hear this it'll be over it'll be last week it'll be over yeah it seems it seems pretty good it's been fun i noticed uh the x-com guys are making a marvel superhero game oh wow um called midnight suns and it's got like you have to make your own hero but it's got like this sort of card battling system in it's very weird it looks weird but just give us x-com 3 for fuck's sake yeah yeah what else you're working on it's gotta be it's gotta be like a better version of terrors from the from the deep right because that was the big

thing at the end x-com 2, that there was like... Don't do an underwater. Come on. Let's just... Do an underwater, but just do it good. Like, if it's underwater, but it's as good as XCOM 2, I'll play it. Like, XCOM 2 is fucking awesome.

It's such a limited setting, man. Underwater. Or maybe some of it can be underwater. I don't know. Flax cheese. I'm not... Well, I want better, all right? I want better. I don't know flax cheese i'm not um i'm not i'm just saying all right i want

better i don't want underwater making me want to play fucking get terror from the deep right now i really enjoyed that vibe i think some people got a good kick out how are you gonna throw a grenade underwater it's all gonna be they had special grenades and harpoons yeah and it was wank because it was underwater oh it was good it was good i enjoyed bits of it and hated other bits of it but i don't know there's it was it was yeah like i don it was good. It was good. I enjoyed bits of it and hated other bits of it. But I don't know. It was, yeah. Like, I don't know. Like, sometimes,

I think Terror for the Deep, it was made in 1995 by one guy. Yeah, it was not. I don't think it was received super well. Yeah, there was no patches because that's how games

were made back in the day. But it feels like the story from XCOM 2 is heading that way, right? No Man's Sky was made, what, seven, eight years ago and fucking has been patched to death ever since like continuously and now it's a good game but like i did see this week that no man's sky finally uh went from overall mixed to overall mostly positive

like on steam yeah i know it's had a really interesting redemption art for the first time because apparently like the amount of negative reviews back in the day really just held it, really kept it down. There's been a couple of games, I was talking to Chad about this the other day when I was streaming, and No Man's Sky is definitely sort of perceived as one of those games. It came out, it didn't live up to expectations, and people were angry about it.

But now it's in a much better space and people actually think it's a pretty good game um diablo 3 was the same diablo 3 is pretty disappointing when it came out but then reaper souls kind of fixed a lot of it and it and it became better or at least uh widely regarded as like a pretty good game even though it's it's it's old now and people don't play it as much or whatever, but it definitely went from being bad to good. Final Fantasy XIV, which I play as well, started the same. It was destined to be some flop and they had to basically redo the sort of base game, which they did. And now it's very popular.

I think there's a PC Gamer article. I mean, take from that what you will if you like PC Gamer, but they ranked it as like the most popular MMO, even above WoW now, because I think WoW has had the big exodus of players because of the state of the game. A lot of people have gone over to play games like Final Fantasy. And maybe the Blizzard stuff as well.

That too, yeah. I mean, yeah, you have to take that into account as well. Yeah, it's just interesting. Sometimes these games, they come out and you can almost write them off and say, oh, well, you tried your best, but this game sucks and nobody's ever going to play it. These redemption stories are so interesting.

Yeah. Because I'm sure a lot of people give up, you know, pull the plug. They're like, okay, I'm wearing a suit. This game's not going to happen. We're not going to resolve it. We're never going to have a redemption story. We're just going to pull the plug they're like okay i'm wearing a suit i this game's not gonna happen we're not gonna resolve it we're never gonna have a redemption story we're just gonna pull the plug and abandon it you know i think that does happen so often but i think that's that standard practice it certainly used to be that you know games you know especially on console when they were putting

them on discs there was no way to give it a day one dl day one patch or any of this you know once you yeah you did the game and that was it you were stuck it was it was like an article you published it you sent it off you posted it and it was gone yeah they did um they did used to bring out patches on cover discs for magazines uh once once the pc market was uh established you could there were patches yeah that would come out i think people kind of forgot that and they were also whenever you'd buy there were also a lot of utilities on the front of those uh on those discs especially if you got there were other magazines i think there was one that was just a pc magazine wasn't for gaming it was for people that were like programmers and shit there were lots of utilities and free programs and trial

versions of things but they did used to release patches for pc games on cover discs that was the only way to get them most people don't have the fucking internet. So you had to get them from a magazine. But it certainly wasn't the way it is now where you get like roadmaps that you can read and interactivity with the devs. I mean, U-Boat, which is a game that I play from time to time, I'll play it for like a week solidly.

They're always patching that game. Like here's a whole new patch. It's like, blam. And it's like a ridiculous amount of content that never would have happened. And i know that whenever i'm playing an early access game or we're talking about an early access game people in chat always complain early access work i think you know you don't have to buy it like you don't like boulders gate three has come out but it's early access boulders gate three right so i'm not playing it i'm gonna

wait and there's another game i think it's called death trash or something like that which looks really good and my friend played it and uh it was month who played it and he was like it's great but it's not finished yet i was like cool then i'll wait yeah i don't see why people can't just wait i feel like what they're angry about is that it's there and they want it and it's available but it's not ready yet but they want to have it anyway and then they complain uh and i think they also feel that developers are putting these games out before they're finished and then finishing them after people have bought them and you've bought this game and you have to wait six months for it to be right yeah believe me as a football manager you know but buyer of pretty much every football manager game has ever been i feel you because

the game comes out in october or whatever and it's not until March or April when the third big patch comes along that it's actually any fucking good. I'm with you. I understand it's frustrating, but I also think that we want so much more in our games now compared to what we wanted 20, 30 years ago when we were playing PC games and Amiga games or whatever. It needs to be so much more that it's much harder to develop those big games without any money coming in for potentially several years at a time yeah that's how it feels you're not wrong um it's it's it's a weird but then again every time you post an update right you create this bump in sales and news and chat about the game which they can see on their graph do you

know what i mean so so very these games who these these guys it's very easy for you to develop a game and think well you know let's make this game release here then we'll have update one after two months update two after four months do you know what i mean and we'll put this in this update and this in episode and we'll get it all done before we release it so we don't have to rush around and panic you know a lot i think a lot of people promise things too right they're like oh we will add this thing when you guys do this or you know follow us on twitter and release this thing and i mean people like they don't get in time in time like people say i love this development team they listen to the player base and they make the changes and all the rest

of it so people love that experience that the if the community comes together and says you guys should add this this is really important if you like there's a groundswell of support saying yes that's right you should add this feature they're like okay cool and they add it and i think people love that because they're helping to shape the game in a way that the players actually want it to be shaped because that can be a hard thing sometimes for a game developer to to gauge is you know they've got a vision of the game but everybody plays it and they're all asking for some quality of life you know or whatever. And these changes happen.

So people want that relationship with the developer, but they also just want like a finished game at release that doesn't have, you know, a roadmap. It isn't early access. So I think people, there's a combination of people.

We don't, none of us know what we want. That's the problem. We don't really know what we want. It comes out and we're like, yeah, it's okay. But I mean, it needs a few changes. I think the standards for games and games as a service and stuff like that is so high now too that i don't even think a developer making a game uh can be a hundred percent sure

what people want yeah it's so complicated games now when a game is released like it's i feel like it's very rare now that a game is released and it's just like yeah we're not touching this one anymore it's just done unless it's like a platform that a game is released and it's just like, yeah, we're not, we're not touching this one anymore. It's just done. Unless it's like a platformer or something like that. Maybe, but like, there's always gotta be scope to add more stuff to the game. I think,

I think people are jostling now. And the other thing is these games often have to keep going. Like when I talk to game devs, they're always like, you know, I want to keep people playing my game. And I'm like, well,

you've got a three hour story game. People are going to play that game for three hours and they're never going to play it again. Like, how do you bring people back to that? Do you know what I mean? It's like, why are you looking for concurrent daily users on this game? That's not your kind of game, right? A couple of games that have done that very well where it's like, yeah, you play it

and you don't necessarily need to go back to it is Obra Dinn was amazing. But you play it once, you wouldn't really play it again. No, yeah, you're done, right? But like, yeah, you know a it's a very contained experience That's a great example of a game that we everyone who plays it tells you Yeah, you know I think this I think that you do get this But I think these days we are in this world of free games right where there's a free game on epic every day

Most of the big games that we play a free mobile game to certainly everything's free and then a lot of people subscribe to things Like game pass which gives them a lot of games for inverted commas. Do you know what I mean? They pay a subscription, but it feels like the value of what you have is you have nuts. Actually, I know it's very good. Not that we're shilling it or anything. I don't know how they make money from. Well, the thing is, it's like any subscription service.

You know, people don't actually use it that much or they don't make the full use of it. But also all these games in Game Pass are jostling for your attention you know and you have to stand out and you do that by continually posting updates and bumping yourself to the top i will say this i will say this when it comes to early access i i i i kind of understand why people have a problem with early access what i have a problem with i think a lot of people have a problem with is when a game is released they they state that it's finished but it's clearly not cyberpunk being a prime example of that that if that had been an early access version of the game people still would have said got a long way to go but this was like this big hyped game that came out

yeah and then it felt like it was like pre-alpha there was so much wrong with it so i i think people have a I have much bigger problem with AAA titles that cost 60 quid yeah but I have a big problem with that if something costs

that much and it's fucking awful we played do you remember we played what's that bloody zombie game where you build

the forts and you defend Daisy shit seven days to die I was looking at it the other day seven days to die thank you Sips it the other day seven days to die

thank you sips we played that game you know back 10 years ago and it's still in alpha uh after 10 years on early access you know i mean yeah it's sold 10 million copies do you mean it's it's done fantastic um and it's it's still you know they're still they're very shy to call it anywhere near done um which is a obviously, you know, they obviously feel like it's not ready, like it's not polished. They're scared to say this is our game. You know, I think other people feel like

they have to push out a completed game, especially when you've got something like Cyberpunk launching on all the different platforms. You can't launch early access and have a disc sold in, you know, game. It's definitely like a different tone, isn't it? But we have been set up with this idea that everyone knows what early access is.

You're going into a world where we are surrounded by incomplete other games that we can compare your game to. So yeah, it's really interesting. Really, really interesting. I've been doing loads loads of things i've been looking at 3d printing this week i really want to get a 3d printer are you having like a midlife crisis or something what's going on here like 3d i want to get a 3d i want to get a 3d printer i want to do everything some some other time i went to a wedding uh the weekend it was really nice although how do you

have time to do all this stuff so so there was a wedding happening at a nearby place, okay? And it had a name. I'm not going to say the name just in case you look it up and stuff. Or maybe you can. It's called the Cider Orchard, okay? It's like a wedding venue. It's a nice little venue about half an hour's drive out of Bristol. And on the invitation, I looked at it and I was like,

oh, yeah, it's near Western, sure, cool. You know, it's going to be easy to get to blah, blah, blah. So me and my partner were going to this to this wedding. And she said to me, oh, you know, call the Uber. And I said, OK, do you have the postcode? And she's like, yeah, here's the postcode. So I typed it in and we got an Uber and we drove about half an hour in the wrong direction. And I was like, I'm sure it was I'm sure it was in Western, not not this direction. And I was like, I'm sure it was in Western, not this way.

And she was like, no, no. And then like, you know, sort of 15 minutes later, I was like, I'll just check on my phone. So I looked at my phone and of course, she'd like typed in the cider orchard and it was taking us to a different cider orchard. But she'd got the postcode from the wrong cider orchard that she typed in to her phone and the postcode from the wrong cider orchard that she typed in

to her phone and sent us like completely the wrong one so then we had to like change the thing in the Uber and then it obviously we'd gone

half an hour in the wrong direction so it was then an hour's drive and then we got stuck in traffic so we arrived at this wedding

just as the wedding just as they're finishing do you know what I mean like we snuck in to the back just as the ring's going on the finger. Oh, man. It was like, oh.

It was like, only me, only I can be the person that that happens to. It's a small world, because there were loads of game devs there. Someone actually had been in the flipping Tiny Teams Festival that we did and was like, oh,wis i'm sure you streamed my game and i was like oh my god nice so i had some nice chats with some some game devs and

um had a nice uh sort of they had some vegan stuff but no no sauce or no no gravy or anything. It was just very, it was like potatoes, just dry potatoes, dry beans, and like dry, like vegan patty burgers. So you scum deserve. That's what they were thinking. But there was no sauce or anything for anyone. There was no sauce. It was very dry. A very dry wedding meal.

But you know what, this is funny. I had this conversation with my dad last night I don't want to go into too many details because it was infuriating but one word, ivermectin oh no really? yeah where did they get this from?

who is this what platform is he using I don't even want to get into it it's really upsettingly annoying actually how angry I got What platform is he using? I don't even want to get into it. Madness. It's really upsettingly annoying, actually, how angry I got. But it was one of those things. Anyway, we were talking about vegetarians. He obviously hates vegans.

I don't actually hate vegans, right? I eat vegan food all the time. Obviously, Lewis, you are my dear friend. I'm plant-based. Plant-based is the new way to say it. Exactly. It is definitely plant-based. Sounds healthier i joke you know what i mean i'm not i don't actually hate it's just funny yeah but the fucking listeners lewis they got their brains in their i joke about it all the time their ass with their prison wine they don't know they think i

actually hate vegans i don't so my dad makes this. Why do they have to try to trick us? And I said, what do you mean? And he's angry that vegans pretend that it's a burger when it's actually a giant mushroom or whatever. They call it like vegan chicken. And it's like, what is that? Shithouse mushroom or whatever it's called, all that kind of stuff. And I was like, I don't think they're pretending

or trying to trick you. Why do they try to trick us? They're not trying to trick you. It's just that you can do a lot more with food if you look at the recipes we already use for meat and just swap the meat out like there's already thousands hundreds of thousands of recipes that involve meat he was like vegetables are beautiful what's wrong with just a bowl of vegetables and i was like think how boring that would get and that's the way they treat vegans and vegetarians plant-based eaters quite often lewis like at your

wedding oh vegetarians yeah just a bowl with some fucking vegetables in. It's like, well, come on. We make the vegan, the weird, I'm not a fan of the vegan chicken or the vegan bacon and all the fake. I hate all that stuff, actually. I think that's the worst part of being a vegan. But, you know, maybe I'm on your dad's side, but I think it's designed to cross over to him

and give him an alternative to cholesterol and heart attack. Let's imagine I was going to make... I mean, you know, everybody loves chicken and chips. It's a classic. Chicken and chips goes together brilliantly. Put some cheese on the chips, bit of sauce on the chicken, bingo. What if...

No, I don't want to try. What if we just took all the meat out of this and did the same dish? Because we know it works. We know it's delicious. I don't think it's a fucking undercover meal that's like trying to sneak into the house of a carnivore and get them to eat.

Oh, I ate the vegetables. It's just easier if you use existing recipes, but swap out that one thing, animal products, and find substitutions. I think that's all it is. It's not a trick. Is he angry that his wife is swapping in the the vegan stuff for the meat stuff and trying to trying to trick him that way she'll she'll cook dinner and i'll eat it she's like did you enjoy

that men if they have something put in front of them i'll eat it well exactly and you know you i won't even be able to tell often what's even in. I couldn't tell. So she was like, did you enjoy that sausage roll? I was like, oh, it's fantastic. She goes, it was vegan. I was like, okay, cool. It was a haggis. I had some vegan sausage rolls last week and they were really good. I liked them a lot, actually.

I don't have a problem with it. I felt like I was tricked at the time, obviously. But I felt like somebody was trying to trick me. Why are they trying to trick me? Some sort of magician or whatever. This is another thing that always gets me with these guys they're always like oh they're trying to trick me like some sort of magician or whatever and they're always christian i fucking jesus was a magician wasn't he like didn't he just go around and do magic healing on people and shit like what's

what's this like uh anti-magic movement that's that's developing like come on i mean it's crazy isn't it did you know god sorry i know this is going on a bit but regarding tricking there's been a thing this week where keanu reeves has been well not actual keanu reeves but lots of people have been scammed by someone called some keanu reeves like catfishing them oh wow there's a bunch of there's a bunch of there's a bunch of scammers pretending to be keanu Reeves, tricking sort of elderly-ish women. Older women are being targeted by scammers pretending to be Keanu Reeves. What? Yeah, so...

But they're falling for it, and they're properly, like, you know, selling their houses to move to LA to be with him and stuff. Oh, come on. Really? Yeah, I'm not sure why... I mean, he's a multi-millionaire. I don't know why he would need cash from your auntie or whatever. So this scammer pretended to be Keanu Reeves,

tricked women into thinking they were in a relationship with him. They sent a necklace and earrings to this aunt. This is the article I'm reading. And they also asked for 10 grand. This is from an actor whose supposed net worth is supposed to be $360 million. So he said, could you send me ten thousand dollars and they sent the money oh my god i mean i don't understand how do you feel at the moment you're doing this like in your mind are you like i have actually been talking to keanu reeves like i i

can't believe it he's like this big megastar like you you would have to at one point think hang on a second like eventually the fake reeves asked if they could meet at a celebrity event but the catch was she would have to stump up two grand to attend and send him the payment in bitcoin and that's the actual scam i just i like i respect that i like my arm buying bitcoin of course it's sad that's cool but people do get scammed into relationships it's horrible but i i could at least understand if she'd been scammed by, say, some younger guy, and she was, you know, sort of wooed and swept off her feet and all that. But to actually believe you were dating Keanu Reeves online

and he needed 10 grand and some Bitcoin, come on. You know, come on. That's... Hey, I'm busy making the new Matrix 4 movie, but I've run out of Bitcoin. Yes, Bitcoin. And I really want to meet you so badly. At 10 grand. How old are you again? 65 years old? Perfect. That's just what I like.

Come on, baby. See you in California. Like, it's come on. That's crazy. That's Arnie. I am Calvin Reeves, just like you see it in the movies. Impressor. Send me $10,000 in bitcoin right now the impersonation wasn't great I admit sorry but I didn't know how to do an impression of him either

but yeah I just love that I love the idea that between shots of him like doing the matrix 4 or whatever he's like on his phone like chatting up grandmas. Hi, grandma. Show me that saggy ass. I love it. Send me some Bitcoin.

Send me the Bitcoin. Come on. Do it. The world is insane. The world is insane. If you have kids, don't let your kids become these people just do whatever you can come on like no this can't work in the future shelter them homes it's bad enough that it's happening right now in in in our timeline don't don't let this timeline continue don't let your sons and daughters be tricked by fake Keanu Reeves in the future. Come on.

You owe it to yourselves. Do it. Come on. You can do it. Oh, my God. That's crazy. I love that. Anyway, thank you for listening to Trevor's Broadcast, everyone.

We'll see you next week. And until then. Bye. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye.