Triforce! - Triforce! #192: The Van Damm Game Slam

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

Triforce! Episode 192! Sips and Flax compare their games of 2021, we find out what Jean-Claude Van Damm is up to these days - not much - and remember the golden age of bank heists. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. won't find anywhere else. Experience the excitement of the casino floor right on your phone. Download the app and play whatever, wherever, and whenever. Your options for fun are endless. On DraftKings Casino, your way is the only way to play. Join the fun on your time, in your space, and within your means. The best part is it's safe, secure, and reliable. So deposits and withdrawals happen when you're ready. Go all in on fun with DraftKings Casino. Head to the App Store to download.

Explore a full suite of games and find your favorites today. DraftKings Casino, the crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario, 1-866-531-2600. 19 and over and physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly. Introducing the first ever Mazda CX-70, our largest two-row SUV,

available as a mild hybrid inline six turbo or as a plug-in hybrid, crafted to move every part of you. Good morning, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Triforce podcast. That's right. We're back. Three strapping young men. They'll be here in a bit. Just talking about whatever it is on their stupid minds uh at this point in time uh we got lewis here as usual hi lewis hello and uh we have period flax here as well as usual hi flax hello and uh and your host with the most mr saturday night himself uh it's me um it's sips hi how are you guys doing lewis didn't want to do the intro today for whatever reason, so I've done it.

I think it went well. Rate me. Let me know. Let me know how this one went. You know what? Mr. Saturday Night. That is a true honorific. That's a title, eh? I would love to earn that title. What a title.

It's Mr. Saturday Night. I know. I know. Just the thought of Saturday Night, right? The mystical Saturday Night that everybody loves so much. I mean, it means different things to different people, I guess. It means one thing. It means you can get as drunk as you like and you've got Sunday to recover.

It's party time, right? Mr. Party time. Or like the big guy on Saturday night TV back when that was a thing. But the idea that that was the good shows was on Saturday night. Yeah, that's true. Actually, not so much now. I don't know if you've ever watched saturday night tv recently it's uh it's pretty shit shit uh honorable mentions to uh soul brother number one also quite a good title mr dynamite as well oh come on i mean mr dynamite mr saturday night i think if you have if you have any title that involves being called the animal or the machine oh yeah there's a there's expectation there i wonder how much of

it is you you earn that title at a young age it would it's like being called the next pele you know what i mean or the next maradona sometimes it's tough to live up to that title people expect it people now oh it's mr sat. The machine, the animal himself. And he's like, yeah, night after night. He's got to fucking be there. He's got to turn it on. He's got to deliver a mind-melting weekend. I feel like the machine could be like, it could deprecate though, right?

Like, what if you were nicknamed the machine, like, in the 1920s? Yeah. And the kind of machine people had in mind at the time was like you know one of those those uh manual push lawnmowers without an engine you know yeah yeah yeah and then what kind of machine you're like 75 years old and you're still the machine but you're rusty and shit like the iron lung is a machine yeah it's an iron lung basically yeah i feel like machine is also more modern. Do you know what I mean?

I think it's a more feudal system when you give people these honorifics, right? Like they have to be, I don't know, the queen of our hearts. You know, they have to be the voice of a generation. They have to be, you know, like the sweetheart, you know, like Wales's sweetheart or something like that. They always have to be, or the sweetheart, Wales' sweetheart, or something like that.

Or the princess, or the duke, or the crown prince. Those are old ones. They're like the OG legendary nicknames. Whereas machine sounds more modern. Do you know what I mean? You could call

someone that, but it's not necessarily a good one. It's not necessarily flattering. Yeah. It might imply that they work too hard, you know, and they should take a day off once in a while. Yeah. You know, just having a day off.

Yeah. Give some time for themselves. I realise that. I recommend that, yeah. But if you're royalty, you know, if TV or pop royalty, there's going to be some obligations to come with that. You know, you have to

your core responsibilities it's not a lot of pressure you got that weight of the world on your shoulders there that's a tough exactly and what you could do i reckon we need to come up with some more modern ones jermaine like meme lord mr meme lord mr mr memer um whether it's a mr Mr. Meme Lord, Mr. Memer, Mr. Saturday Night TikTok or something like that. You know, like you can make some modern ones that mean something nowadays. Yeah. I mean, if you're saying Mr. Saturday Night and you're thinking of like Saturday Night TV now, I mean, that sucks. You might as well just be called Mr. Sucks. Like that stinks.

that sucks you might as well just be called mr sucks like that's that stinks yeah but if you're mr saturday night in uh in in the context of fun things to do on saturday night i don't know what people do for fun on saturday nights now i mean i gave up having fun years ago so like i'm not in the know people do whatever they want to do now i guess so yeah like everyone's doing something they go to like poetry recitals and stuff or is that i guess that happened a long time the internet is has allowed people to just get wet in the waterfall of shit that is everything you know it's it's it's everything this is people fucking making dicks out of pottery there's there's people fucking knitting sonic the hedgehog in a fucking plastic do you mean this any people were doing everything zips and good for them yeah good yeah i mean yeah yeah like i'm glad they're doing it yeah you do it

yeah get out there just do it just give you give you a gran a game of scrabble yeah honestly this leads on to an interesting topic one that's relevant for me right now on the in the spirit of just doing it uh my son is learning how to play the saxophone uh at school you know they have like uh they don't have a set music class i remember when i was young we actually had music class yeah you went to music class and if you wanted to hire a instrument like you know something fancy like a trumpet or a clarinet or whatever you could there was like the means to do that and anybody who didn't just played the recorder along with everybody else

playing there so it sounded like shit but it was a way to get into music it's just like micro transactions at school you know you start to record you could upgrade you had there was always parts there's always like a couple of kids at school who didn't go on field trips and stuff like that it must just been like a cost thing i guess like uh and there were certain like electives as well like i don't know if you ever had this but we got to the point at school where when we were about like 13 or 14 you had like um you had like winter and summer electives and the winter electives were to go skiing uh which a lot of people did but like i never did my parents weren't into skiing and like you know just to send me skiing something

i'd never really done before would have cost like a bunch of money and yeah i think that's what happened to me as well i remember so i ended up going swimming instead that was that was the alternative you got taken to the pool that was attached to the school and you just swam for like the afternoon with like all the other people who didn't go skiing sort of thing. But I feel like music class was like that too. But you always had the fallback, the recorder. So my son doesn't have a full class. It's just like it's private's it's private uh tuition uh tutorage but you they you know they offer you the chance to like if you want your kids to to experience like musical instruments or whatever you can sign them up you can rent an instrument from like the the music store or whatever and then we have these are all the hidden costs of being a parent you know well yeah yeah so so a

guy comes in on their lunch break and then whoever signed up for this goes in and has their lessons or whatever. And it's like, I don't know, like, I always feel like if my son wants to do something, I always make sure that he does it. You know, like I support him in doing it because I feel like the more stuff he's sort of like exposed to, like, you know, music or whatever, there's a chance of something sticking, you know what I mean? Rather than him just growing up and not being interested in anything and not wanting to do anything. And that being off the back of me being like, oh no, you're not going to stick with that. So I'm not going to send you on that or spend the money or whatever.

I always feel like it's always worth just sending them on anything they feel like doing to try it out. we sent him to this like brazilian football schools a soccer school which was again like an after-school thing and um most of the kids there were like the you know their dads were super into football so they were super into football and they were really good stuff my son was not into football i'm not really football. He didn't have any football skills or whatever, but he enjoyed it. Like he just ran around or whatever and like, you know, tried his best.

And then, you know, after a couple of weeks, he's just like, I don't really feel like going anymore. And it's like, yeah, fine. I mean, whatever, like you tried it out. Like, you know, it might've been something you liked or not. Like it doesn't matter.

Like as long as you had fun, he's like, oh yeah, I had fun. So, okay. I think it's, if you think about musical instruments, know that um jean uh our eldest she um she she played the cello for a couple years at school um but neither myself nor mrs f play any kind of musical instruments like i think mrs f played the violin or something when she was at school but none of her none of you talking about you're you're like a virtuoso in skim oh man yeah you know it would be so good though like imagine you were really good at like playing

the bass and your your daughter just starts playing cello and you just come out slapping that bass right okay like getting all seinfeld but that's what i'm saying like if you think about it that all those all those musicians say yeah you know my dad was a guitarist and my mom sang there was always a lot of music around the house and stuff if she came home with her cello she was playing and i was playing and mrs f was singing that would hook you into music and get you into get you an ear for it and get you into it early on sure and i always thought the things that i do i'm a massive letdown to my kids in terms of expanding their worldview beyond staring at a screen,

because that's pretty much what I'm into. Yeah. And that's now also pretty much what they're into. And I wish I could have encouraged them, but it's impossible for me to encourage her to play the cello alone very poorly because I can't help her. It's boring practicing on your own, just playing the fucking cello day in, day out.

So she quit. And I thought that's fair enough because I would have done the same. I wish that I had been a talented and interesting parent because I think it would have helped some cool skills rub off on her. But I'm sorry, sweetie. I don't know if that is reality.

I don't think that's the case. Yeah, it absolutely is the case. Think how many people that do something. I mean, look at the things that you do that your the case. Yeah. It absolutely is the case. Think how many people that do something. I mean, look at the things that you do that your kids are interested in. Look at the things that other people who do something. Like I have some friends of mine who are really into sailing and surfing. And all their kids are great swimmers and sailors and surfers. Yeah.

But again, like you will naturally just do the things that your parents do, but at a certain point you'll branch off from that and want to just do your, your own things. Right. I, there's a good, there's a good example in the Notorious B.I.G. actually, coming back to what you were saying about you being like the leader of sort of, you know, what, you know, if I was doing something similar to what my daughter was practicing at the time, she might have been more into it or whatever. There was this guy that lived in the neighborhood who was sort of like a minor sort of jazz celebrity. He used to play like the trumpet or the saxophone or whatever. And he used to live in the same neighborhood as Notorious B.I.G.

And as when he was growing up, you know, he was just his mom. He lived with his mom. His mom, like, listened to a bit of music, but not much music or whatever. Like, certainly nothing to, like, really catapult him into being interested in music and stuff. But he befriended this guy who was this local jazz musician, sought him out, went to visit him every day just to listen to jazz records with him, learn from him and stuff. But it was him. from him and stuff but it was it was him he was the the catalyst for it wasn't the guy seeking him out saying like i'm gonna get you into music because you're gonna be a big star one day it was right it was the other

way around that's not common is it that's my point it's not it isn't common for things from their parents but i think you you getting her into or at least trying to get her into something would is is sort of the basis for the spark right like she might be doing that and it just click one minute one day and she's like yeah i really do like this actually i'm really into this and i'm gonna pursue it and do the things i need to do it could very well be the opposite though right but yeah and and and and if my dad more often than well be the opposite, though, right? But yeah, and more often than not, probably the opposite. I'm not going to do it. But you've still got to try, right?

I feel like you have to try. Yeah, well, I think you have to support, right? Like, I think, for example, I think often these things, things that I've learned in my own life is that the things I end up doing, I've kind of tricked myself into doing. Like, if I was learning a musical instrument now, I'd probably try and get a book of songs that are I don't know something that I'm interested in like I don't know um sea shanties

or something weird do you know what I mean that I could like learn to play something specific like or when I was a kid like I was interested because I was playing like um video game theme tunes and stuff do you know what I mean yeah I was such a fucking nerd i was so basically like i wanted to play the saxophone but i think for some whatever reason the school thought you're not cool enough to play sax so you can have a clarinet so i was there you know trying to play i don't know fucking sonic the hedgehog uh on clarinet there was actually this week the original sonic the hill the sonic the hedgehog composer who did the green hills theme he actually or she i think or they i can't remember who is but they put out like a song where they wrote lyrics for that classic song

completely redid the song right and it's like really weird the lyrics for it well yeah i mean i can imagine right it's probably not what you'd expect boy clothes are bluish boy's shoes are reddish boy looks at watch boy drops coins and scatters there i can't remember how it goes but it's something like that isn't it sonic fucking yeah yeah yeah it's um yeah well you can tell why i didn't end up being allowed to play the saxophone i don't know about you guys but i feel like everything that i've i've done that's been worth doing in my life i haven't thought about it much and i haven't tried very hard for it either like um like things that i've thought about and tried to do i've i've a hundred percent of the

time given up and walked away from like just thought uh you know well but no but listen like i'm always like forcing myself to do something you ask anyone who's good at something how some of them sure they force themselves and they do they have sometimes and they some of these you do hear about it yeah but i think for me specifically like i i just like if I'm not living it, I'm not doing it. But I think a lot of people, yeah, they don't consider the things that they love and they are experts in hard or work or effort or they had to force themselves. It just came very naturally. And I think you see that a lot of the time i think that you know you can't control what you your your children or you are gonna find interesting at

any one time and i mean yes we are surrounded by the waterfall of shit on the internet and we're pulled each and every way and you can't just leave a series of abandoned projects in your wake and look at them sadly and be like oh i'm sad that i never learned how to play sonic 2 theme on clarinet you know i could have been a virtuoso i could be up on stage right now but i don't think you need to think like that um i think you just need to it's trying new stuff actually is sometimes i think better than just grinding your head against so yeah i've sort of come to like i never feel bad for not completing stuff because like especially the older i get i look at it as like more of an experience rather than like a start to finish thing you know relatively recently because i

started realizing that i really wanted to read books but i kept getting stymied by um a shit book and then i'd be like i don't want to read because i'm halfway through this book i don't but I kept getting stymied by a shit book. And then I'd be like, I don't want to read because I'm halfway through this book that I don't like. And so I started just abandoning books. And man, it's fucking... I've been abandoning books for years. I'm not into it. It's relatively recent for me.

Books, TV series, movies. I felt like I had to finish my play. I don't know, I had this kind of dad attitude. Games? Man, I often don't finish games. I often children in Africa who would love to finish this book Do you mean they'd love to eat this book? But they can't happily send it to them because I am definitely done with it so Enjoy it. Yeah Video games this week death loop came out. Did you always it any good?

I've heard that it's really good like i've heard that people who like who have liked dishonored the game dishonored have really enjoyed it and this is by the people who made dishonored it's not the same game obviously but if you enjoyed the solid i think you'd like it i mean yeah it's about this island of the super rich you've sort of created this time loop so they can live out their wildest fantasies day after day. And sort of a little bit, I mean, that's sort of a little bit of a background of the setting. So you do end up, it makes the game cheaper, right?

When you've got a time loop, you need to build a lot less settings. I suppose. It's an interesting idea, though. And also, a lot of the time, games do use this checkpoint mentality, right? Where, oh, if you die, you go back to the start of the day. So, yeah.

But I love a time loop. I mean, they're always an interesting genre to explore. And, you know, I think people are talking about it. I've downloaded it. I haven't had a go, so I don't know. Steam reviews are mixed, though. I haven't picked it up. I mean, that doesn that doesn't mean necessarily but reviewer reviews are great like people actual websites I haven't picked it up and I'm not going to pick it up until I'm sure I'm going to play it because I've just I've acquired too many games that I've never played

that I've spent money on and I just think like why have I why did I send them to the starving children I bought cyberpunk I still haven't played it like and i don't really intend on playing it either i saw you playing some power washing game oh yeah no that's it was yes it was yesterday and it fucking owns um i'm not even i saw you say it was your game of the year and i thought i wonder if it's really good no i wasn't it's really good it's like a it's like a it's like painting you feel like you're like bob ross or something you just you're cleaning all the grime off of uh all these different called car it's called power wash simulator okay i just can't believe the games you play like i really cannot believe it so it's so satisfying i don't know why it's just there's just something about

it's just nice and it's really relaxing we are so it's just we're just miles apart in terms of what games we enjoy like not always not always i think that i that game to me sounds like the worst thing ever and you're saying it's your game of the year i'm saying it's very rare that we agree on a game well i mean what have you played this year that has has blown you away that you would say is like game of the year it's blown me away i'm trying to think of what new games have you let me have a look at my library so i'm i'm new to total war warhammer 2 right i hadn't played that before i owned it but i'd never loaded it up for some reason loving that really enjoying that i think that's a that's a really fun game uh what else have i played this enjoying that. I think that's a really fun game.

What else have I played this year that I enjoyed? It's like four years old. Yeah, no, exactly. I'm just super late to it. I think this comes back to we're different types of gamers, right? I think you're more of a habitual gamer than I am. You have a roster of games that you will play regularly like you know myself there is a reason for that it's not that I'm I'm a

creature of habit when it comes to specific games it's just that I don't find a lot of games that are actually good no I find a game that I really like I'm like this is it so for example this year teardown was my game of the year i absolutely fucking loved it yeah i think i played it this year that was fucking amazing i absolutely loved it what else did i play this year i've played a bunch of things this year i mean i've here's my list of games played this year total warhammer 2 dota blood bowl 2 which we started doing um again rimworld of course death trash i'm waiting on the full release of that played hell let loose um hearts of iron of course golf

with your friends which was uh well frustrating that's not a new game. I played Humankind closed beta. Yeah, Humankind is new, yeah. U-Boat, that's good. That's always getting patched. Griftlands finally came out, I think, for release. That was good. Tainted Grail was quite fun. I played some FTL again.

Great game. Teardown, of course. I played Out of the Park Baseball 22, which will be of interest to about three people that listen to the podcast. Dorf Romantic, I quite enjoyed that game. Oh, yeah, I picked that up as well. Project Hospital was good.

Yeah, yeah, that was great. I think I recommended that to you. Yeah, you did. That was fun. I played Slay the Spire, of course. It's a classic game. Voxel Tycoon, which I'm waiting on that getting good, but I see some potential there.

I quite like that. I dipped into Banner Saga a bit, but I got swayed off that by other things sherlock holmes crime and punishments we finally finished that played x-com 2 again of course um i played moving out with you i remember oh uh was that the um that was the thing yeah yeah that was fun actually that was a good i tried to play stone shard but it's brutal because if you die it undoes i didn't i didn't really like stone shard that much but i like the game the loop of it i really enjoyed but it's just i don't want to have to spend that much time on it stelaris i haven't played since march apparently but i know when i do go back i'll be playing it

for months at a time yeah yeah i mean i think we agree on like a lot of these games i i also like but there's just a lot of games you know that's a lot of games there's just that most of them weren't very good it's just such a different list to sips this list though i play a lot of dumb sim games but there's not it's not because i like them fully as games i like little mechanics or loops in them that will keep me occupied for you know a day or two or sometimes weeks and and you know i'll just i'll play them till i'm done sort of thing you know, a day or two or sometimes weeks. And, you know, I'll just, I'll play them until I'm done sort of thing, you know, like it's whatever. Like, I don't mind, you know, like there's, I've always got like a couple of things that I'm playing sort of in the background as well. And it's, you know, different strokes for different folks, I guess.

But yeah, power washing sim I would say is probably not for everybody. See, but that's it. I would go the other way and say that you are a creature of obsession but that obsession lasts for a week yeah and then and then that's it yeah i'll see you're literally streaming one thing but like you're binge watching a series and that is that game yeah you're like and you're all over it and then you're you're just done yeah yeah i think that's i think that's i think it's a nice nice thing to be able to do though as well because i don't know like uh as fun as as fun as it is being into something and i've always wanted to like be more into like one specific thing i'm kind of glad that i'm not you know because i feel like a lot of things especially when they're around for too long they just get worse right like you look at your like you know world of warcraft and and all these things like if i'd still been playing

that game would i be happy still playing it like i don't think so like i'm glad i gave up people that still play it like when i streamed it there were so many people that turned up and were giving me tips and it's weird there are certain games that when i play them or when i talk about certain things like when i was talking about bolt action for for example, when I played it with Lewis and Ben the other month when I was down, so many messages and so many people in chat asking about it. There are these interests that loads of people have that you just wouldn't know. Like I didn't know that this game was so wildly popular, but the moment I started streaming, people are like, boom, oh my God, I love this game.

This is my favorite game ever, blah, blah, blah. It was really interesting to me. So I do try to play a variety of games, but I honestly just find the people that watch the stream a lot or that know me will try to recommend games. Here are the games. I don't know if you get this. When I'm streaming, I get people popping up and they ask

about, there are three games that they ask me about. It's probably three big fans who just say it over and over again. No, no, no. I thought it was. It is not. It is not the same three people. Trust me. Hunt the Showdown is one.

On the daily, I'm asked about that, especially if I'm playing Tarkov. Perrin, have you thought of playing Hunt the Showdown? I think you really like it. And I was like, who works for this company? And they just drop it in. But it's not. It's not.

They're like, no, no, I'm just a fan. Then there's Foxhole. Foxhole's meant to be really good, actually. I own it. I played it. But I didn't really know what to do, and I kind of gave up. But I like the idea of it. On the daily, when are you going to play Foxhole?

I think you'd love Foxhole. There's a third one. I can't remember what it is. But it's literally those same few games over and over and over again. And I'm thinking it's like that with Warhammer. So, yeah, but they're not recommending this game. They're only recommending these three games. And I'm very suspicious.

I'm like these guys. They've obviously this is like a mouthpiece for this games company. And they just just go into some Twitch chat and ask people if they're going to play the game. There's probably some element of that uh you know like i don't think you're crazy for thinking that generally because i think there there there probably is one or two you know in there amongst a hundred others where that maybe is the case because like it does stuff like that kind of does it does it happens on reddit there's a there's hail corporate as a subreddit you get a lot of reddit posts that are literally hey guys who's enjoying a refreshing coke today you know stuff like that which is just blatant marketing but you also get people who um i don't

know if you've had this before like i've certainly had this before and i don't i don't mind it or anything it's fine but like people who who donate um you know to your channel while you're streaming or whatever um to try to like almost like raise their profile because they they stream as well but maybe they're just starting to stream have you ever had this before yeah occasionally i mean you get it more because you're a much bigger channel so it's a bit different but i do get people who's whose names are their channel yeah also people popping in and saying hey I sometimes stream this game over at blah and you just think come on

well it's very hard though to express interest in your favourite streamer and also be a streamer I get this a lot on emails people sort of saying I love this thing, I do this thing is there a way we could

you know do do do a video together or something like this it's it's a it's a common query and i guess like you know a lot of the time i guess i guess there is a not it's not an ulterior motive it's it's uh it's just a motive um but it sounds in some way ulterior because i think where it it feels like it's i don't know it's like seedy somehow i don't know i think it's just one of those things right i think it's it's it's a different like landscape right and and and particularly like well flax you you've always sort of streamed even before you met lewis and stuff but like i never did any of this stuff before lewis asked me to to sort of do it right so like i've never really had to build anything up from scratch you know what i mean like i haven't i haven't been at a point where i'm like oh maybe

i need to go to like another channel and and try to like you know raise my profile somehow or or get people to notice me or something like that you know what i mean like i think that's a very difficult thing to to know how to do or to do and i know but you see people trying which is interesting right like it's well you gotta start somewhere of course so i did read i noticed this week that hideo kojima how do you feel about him he wants to make games that change in real time okay well i whatever the fuck how i feel about hiyo kojima is please just open up death stranding to be a parcel delivering uh sandbox like once you finish the game you know like right let's get some updates where i can just deliver more parcels

to more places and fix more stuff up because i'm not gonna do that i would play that game a lot what do you think about a game that changes in real time, whatever that means? What do you think that would look like? I don't know. I can't get past just wanting an open sandbox. I know. Personal delivery. What do you think? Just to finish that off,

Norman Reedus has apparently signed on for Death Stranding 2, or at least they started negotiating it. And apparently Microsoft is publishing Kojima's new game as well. Ooh. That's Kojima news. But no, Kojima made a game in 2003, in fact, called Boktai, which had a light sensor on the cartridge.

So when he plugged it into your Game Boy Advance, it was called, like, the subtitle was The Sun in Your Hand. Boktai, the sun is in your hand. Yeah, you had to play it in direct sunlight, and it would be, like, quite a different experience. Well, I'll tell you why it would be a different experience As any Gameboy owner knows

Direct sunlight is the enemy of the Gameboy Screen Why the fuck would you come up with this It doesn't matter It would be like trying to look at your phone In direct sunlight even with max Brightness the sun is more powerful Believe it or not

Than fucking Nintendo's shitty game boy backlight but you reckon like you can't see shit what's he talking about just like shining a torch on it or going up to their light and using that like i want to know how i want to know if people play this game and also how because i assume you have to mean, he says the amount of light from the sun is reflected in-game to defeat vampires, right? So you can't... I mean, fair. It's not for me, honestly. But I'm glad that people are doing this stuff.

Because it's interesting enough, right? And there will be people who want to play this stuff. Like, I could never in a million years think of that idea. So more power to him. But I feel like only hideo kojima can get away with this shit anyone else who tries to create this fucking weird stuff gets absolutely fucked like what do you do if you live in scandinavia and it's winter you're gonna lose that game buddy you're gonna lose that game and vampires are gonna fucking take over that's when

you go back over to like um you know cookie clicker or whatever you just you take a couple of months off and then you come back to the come back when it's sunshine yeah right yeah i suppose you've got that's probably that's probably the right choice honestly yeah yeah oh man put together your fan uh your fan design document for an open open-ended sandbox delivery parcel delivery add-on for Death Stranding during the downtime, you know? And then when the sun comes back, boom, you're back onto the game. I guess the question I've got for you is, and I hesitate to bring this up because I know that talking about Death Stranding and this expansion is something that you guys have done extensively.

And I start to fall asleep when you guys start talking about Death Stranding because the game sent me to sleep. So I'm sure there are other people out there. And I start to fall asleep when you guys start talking about Death Stranding. Oh man. Because the game sent me to sleep. So I'm sure there are other people out there who also hate that. But I do want to ask this question. If there is a storyline to Death Stranding and delivering the parcels has a purpose, if you expand that to just delivering parcels, who gives a shit? What's the point?

Or you literally just want the gameplay loop of delivering parcels, who gives a shit what's the point or you literally literally just want the gameplay loop of delivering parcels even if there's no goal there's no growth no there's because you can rebuild stuff i don't know if you got to that point in the game but you can oh i didn't you can uh you can rebuild roads and stuff so you can in the in some of the parcels that you pick up on the ground there's resources and stuff in them right you can build bridges you can build zip lines like you can actually build a mechanism you can't look at the mechanism for delivering the parcels as being the point otherwise you're saying why are we delivering these parcels well so we could deliver these parcels why are we repairing this bridge to deliver those parcels well what for but in the game at least there's a point to it because you're just saying i want it without any point no there would have to be a

point and like you know delivering parcels to places could you know build them up or whatever like maybe like an open ttd you know like when a town receives goods enough the town gets bigger or whatever you know what i mean like there'd have to be a point. I'm not just saying I want to deliver parcels for no reason. But as a gameplay loop leading into a bigger payoff, I think it's great. And the way that they've done it feels great, too. It feels nice to play. The way the guy moves, the way that he moves

when he's got tons of shit on his back, the upgrades that you can get to make him hold more shit like it's i want to deliver like pizza and pasta yeah why not shit to this guy and see him get fatter every day yeah why not yeah i want to like deliver like rogaine to some guy and have him grow his hair out every day right so you're reducing it to what sounds like a mobile game okay you want to hear another great idea for a game as well that i wish they would make i wish they would make a game in the star wars universe where you weren't the hero you weren't at all a hero okay you work on some

shitty tatooine like planet where it's a scrapyard of all the old star fighters and shit that just barely made it back from like the old wars and stuff and you just have to like dismantle them for parts and like sell them sell the important shit so isn't that that uh hard salvage or whatever hard yeah just reskin for star wars and and and on a planet not space. I don't want to be floating around in space for this. I want to be able to like find cool stuff that I can add to like my house and shit like that. So it would be like a Stardew Valley-ish kind of game, you know, where you can like, you know, build up. Dismantle a Star Destroyer with your pet droid.

Absolutely, yeah. And you could like program your droid to do some stuff automatically for you. So what's the purpose of the game? Like, what's the goal? Well, I think there's the thing. Man, what is the purpose of Dota? What is the goal?

To just win a game in the space of 45 minutes? Yes, exactly right. And then you just do the same thing over and over and over again. Exactly right. You don't have to have a purpose or a goal. You do! That's the whole point of a game.

There has to be a win condition. Life doesn't have a purpose. Yes, it You do. That's the whole point of a game. There has to be a win condition. Life doesn't have a purpose. Yes, it does. What is it? Yes, it does. All right, name a game that you enjoy, and there's just no purpose to it whatsoever.

You're just repeating a task endlessly. My point is that all the games you guys are coming up with, I've been playing No Man's Sky a lot recently, and it feels like that, and I've enjoyed it. It's fine. It's just a nice game to be in, and there's plenty of games like that. But there must be a point.

There has to be a point. We are are games we're not furthering humanity the point is what you want it to be though that's what's a nice about a sandbox you make your own point you just think i just want to build something lazy we're just we're just kids moving sand around we aren't fucking solving the climate crisis pflex we're just fucking i'm not stressing it up as crisis i'm just saying that most games have an end goal that's the whole point is that you're trying to achieve something in the game even if it's like i want to get my house to the maximum level or i want to build a so-and-so there is an end game people complain about games that lack an end game constantly minecraft often showed though that people will make their own end game yeah or they'll play it

till they're satisfied you know i think if you give people an arbitrary end game that isn't what some people want you know if you don't if you just leave the thing about gaming is gaming is that often these triple a studios try and make three games in one. And what indies do is they strip out the best one of those three games, make it really nicely. And then that is on its own. You know, I think so often you play a game and it's just complicated, mad shit. You're bouncing from the strategic view to the next view to the whatever. There's just too many games within games.

There's also a story. There's also a thing. If you want to get a good story, watch a movie or read a book, right? You don't need to fucking play a game for that. I agree with that, yeah. Very few games do a good story. Minecraft doesn't have a point, is what you're saying. It doesn't really, no.

But what about the whole killing the dragon thing? That was added as a joke, though, right joke you can speed run that in like 10 minutes it does that was added because notch said you know notch was told by everyone to that your game needed end your game needed end so it was like okay i'll add the end do you know i mean like kind of spitefully it was kind of added as a as a joke or an option for people who felt like they needed a credits do you mean to make it into a proper real game it was it was done in the kind as a joke or an option for people who felt like they needed credits, do you know what I mean? To make it into a proper real game. It was done in a kind of tongue-in-cheek way.

I just think that a lot of these games that are sandboxy, there's not that many out there that are like Minecraft, let's be honest. It's quite unusual to have a game like that. I mean, if you look at, say, a lot of the games that I was listening, XCOM 2, if it was just, you just fight aliens over and over again, it wouldn't be an entertaining game.

The point is you're building towards a final goal. I mean, you play Rust. There's no point to Rust. And you've played lots of Rust and enjoyed it. Absolutely there's a point to Rust. What's the point?

What's the end game of Rust? The end game of Rust is you beat the server. That's what people are doing. That's why we fucking lose at rust because the guys out there speed run the good techs take out all of the uh ai sites make the game so miserable for everybody else that is exactly the point of rush i had no idea out of your mind if you don't think that's what it is on the big puppy service i guess i'm just too much of a dudeob i just guess i'd never actually got that far you play on those servers

with those clans their objective is to beat the server by being the biggest clan take out all the other clans and knock them back to the stone age so that no one can challenge you you win everybody quits waits for the next one don't get me wrong i love a purpose and a lot of games do you do need a purpose you need some driving force i think these days there's a daisy chain handholdy quest tracking achievement list where you have to follow it all one by one to get there um and eventually you know the end once you've done all those it's like well you can carry on if you want but you know and you've just you basically are just following a recipe that millions of other people have as well, right? Like, you're getting more or less the same experience, like, with a couple of little differences between whether you play with friends or not or whatever.

Everyone wants something else out of the game different to each other, and go for it. Like, I think games do provide that. Sure. As much as, you know, know like you know how different people are people completely completely different games i'm just saying i think that most games most games even ones where you you don't think they do have a progression and essentially have an end game like you've built everything you can build or i wonder whether that's just a trap like i think i think game developers some some of the most successful games that I've known or played recently don't seem to have a hand-holding tutorial.

They don't care. They're just like, we're going to just not give a fuck. Like, you just have to dive in. Like, look at Minecraft. Where's the tutorial for Minecraft? You know, for a long time it had nothing. And that's a kid's game. I mean, if anyone who knows that needs to know how to play this game, it's kids.

Why do so many games actually i think minecraft is is the most clever because the fact that there is no tutorial or or no sort of like uh prescribed way to to play the game if you like it means that they can you know all these people can print fucking books and books and books about how to build stuff and how to survive and how wonderful it is to experiment and discover the no no all of the fucking merch that you can that you can leverage off the back of it is insane. YouTube networks off the back of teaching people how to play Minecraft

kind of a big one as well. What a great way to grow your game. What a great way to grow your game by force the content online where people will essentially advertise for you. You don't even need to make it. I don't think it was decision no no i mean it was just a very small development team and the game blew up no yeah subsequently i mean geez my kids watch minecraft stuff and still play it now and i don't think they're ever going to stop playing it they love that game my

elder still plays that game more than anything my daughter plays it now like she's five she's never showed any interest in video games like whatsoever ever and now her and my son play it together split screen like on the switch or whatever and she loves it it's insane it's not for me but i understand i would say it's probably the best game of all time i honestly think that because of what it's done because of how many people love it i'd have to accept yeah minecraft is probably the best most successful video game of all time and it's so basic so stripped down it breaks i say it breaks the rules but it just didn't bother it didn't it didn't get developed enough to get the rules added you know yeah so many games and i'm so i'm doing jingle jam reach out and i realize how many games have sort of

had done this classic thing of go early access sell loads of copies and then the developer is just like oh i guess i'm done uh i'm not gonna i'm not gonna hire anyone to finish it i'm just gonna fucking do like one line of code every two weeks from my you know while i drink this my tie on the beach showing they do they do they fucking the progress on their game slows to a crawl they'reed about what to change because now they're kept captive by their audience. The gamers, you know, basically they're holding it hostage from the dev

because the dev can't change anything because every time they do, everyone complains and posts negative Steam reviews. So they're better off doing nothing anyway. The whole system is, like, you know, leveraged against them. It's bizarre. Anyway, I'm enjoying me

reaching out to people when i get the maddest shit uh back you know replies wise i had a had a message back yesterday um so i said i said like a introductory i personalize every email i send very nice nice and so i reached out just put like a bit of your cum in each message. Email. The fuck? One drop of my cum. One sperm per letter. Carefully siphons it off. I personalised this one. Smell it. It stinks.

Well, you know, you have to look. I forgot system. And so I asked for some keys from this person. And they said, hi, Lewis. Thanks for your email and inviting us for taking part. We would need to donate some keys. Is that correct? And I said, Hiya, yep, that's correct.

They replied, Here are two Steam keys. In the actual email. Nice. And I was like, Oh, wow, wow. You really didn't read that email, did you, at all? I don't want to call out these people, but everyone's response is different. Some people are like, I'm constantly blown away by the way people respond. Honestly, the world is a pretty mad place.

Last week, we were talking about an action hero. God, who were we talking about at the end of last week doing the arnie impressions anyway john claude van damme yeah was doing like a sort of thing in paris and he had a big crowd of people and he was just showing himself off john claude van damme yeah john claude people were going wild about seeing john claude john claude van damme visited an optometrist in Paris which created a crowd big enough that a jewel thief escaped unnoticed

from next door he's still a pretty big deal what was his last movie? it doesn't matter he's become a household name at this point he was very very famous years ago I think it's funny that people are still freaking out about Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Jean-Claude Van Damme was stopped by an optometrist near the Champs-Élysées. Trying to spot his dwindling career. That's what he's trying to fucking get some glasses. Man, dude is like fucking 65 years old now. He's got to be older, right? How old is Jean-Claude Van Damme? Fuck, I don't know. You guys can look it up.

103. He's 60. He's 60. He's just just turned 60 what the fuck do you want him to do he's been he got really he's been really famous for like a lot of his life van damme movie double impact baby his stuff take your fancy clothes and your silk underwear go back to disneyland he's a fucking joke i hate him he's useless i know jesus christ well and still useless apparently the muscles for brussels um didn't do shit didn't fall a single jewel heist wasn't he well wasn't he shredder in the in the ninja turtles uh movie knows he was one of

them i think he was i think he was one costumed as as some character in one of the Ninja Turtle movies. I'm sure of this. I got to look it up now. Sorry. I'm just going to look it up. You guys carry on. I'll just have a quick look here. So basically, a man held up the next door high-end jeweler, Shomei, on a green scooter.

It's made off with what authorities estimate was between two and three million euros in precious stones and jewelry there you go okay okay i like that listen to this flax blood sport delta force 2 american ninja 3 cyborg these are all the games on pflax's team library lionheart he had a cameo in Last Action Hero. Wow. Another fucking piece of shit turkey. Nowhere to run.

He also starred in Street Fighter. Yeah, which was dreadful. These are all terrible movies. Like, these are comically bad movies.

These are films I would watch to laugh at them. There's no goodness to his movies. They fucking suck. Universal Soldier, The Return. Dreadful.

Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful. Sorry, Van Damme fans be honest you like his movies because they suck that's it Van Damme is all dreadful sudden death honestly he is he is a butt hair away to Steven Seagal territory that's all I'm saying like he is this fucking close to Steven Seagal and that guy in the 90s same deal i made a bunch of fucking movies very similar sure shit shit and he's a fucking shit shit shit he's a shit i'll sing it all fucking day van damme and fucking seagal are in the same boat paddling down shit creek yeah well i mean yeah yeah i'd agree

but honestly i i don't i don't mind him like i'd rather i'd rather him than a lot of other people who are more popular for for less definitely second rate do you know what i mean they get they try and get the good ones and then they check him let's keep going i don't know how far down the rates go but somewhere way down the bottom someone's going to cast van damme for a film to a 10th rate maybe maybe 12 jeez that's bad i mean you wouldn't want to sail on a ship that was like the 10th all those cores uh commercials as well right was it cores commercials that he did yeah more recently cgi his uh his splits in didn't they it was uh it was funny so you try to sell that as an accolade

sis he did the cause commercials come on i'm very passionate about my hatred of jean-claude van damme i was i really i really hate him when it when it was the 90s everyone's like oh van damme's the best i was really infuriated i'll tell you what he's a fucking phony him and seagal they made out like they were actually fucking experts some of seagal's music no i haven't oh my god man he's he's he's tried everything like you got his parents let him have a fucking saxophone when he was young no i know but he's making he's making up for it no you're not confident you got the clarinet he didn't let me play any music well now i'm playing every music he's got he's i'm seriously i think he has like a hip-hop album

like everything like he's done he's lots lots and lots of different him and seagal leaned hard into that whole yeah we're actual martial arts experts and now we're bringing this to the movies when they're not they're both clowns and that's what annoyed me arnie arnie was honest arnie was just a big guy he never did any fucking cool moves he just punched people or threw threw them over things vandam made out he was a fucking martial arts expert the lad was soft as shit he was useless hey listen to this they there there is a controversy involving steven seagal in relation to jean-claude van damme would you like to hear more yeah i would love to hear more in 2008 actor sylvester stallone declared to the british magazine fhm that at a party in my home in miami in 1997 van damme was tired of Steven Seagal claiming he

could kick his ass so he offered Seagal outside into my backyard according to Stallone Seagal made his excuses and left while Van Damme tracked him down at a nightclub and challenged him again Stallone finished by saying Van Damme was too strong Seagal wanted none of it. There you go. Wow. I think that proves that at least Van Damme is better than Seagal. I would say it proves they're both a couple of children. How much has Seagal got off the boil at this point? Because he got a little bit. Seagal is substantially older than Van Damme. He can't be that much older.

Steven Seagal is 69. That's a great age. He's made 420 movies unbelievable and he's got 666 dollars left in his bank account oh fuck anyway so on bank robberies yeah because i remember there was that famous clip of um how a masked man sort of entered this hotel um threatened the woman at the counter and you know so she sort of started putting wads of cash onto the countertop. And he puts his gun down, obviously, on the counter to put all the money into his bag. And she just picks up the gun and points at him.

You know, it's a classic, classic, classic, classic blunder. But there's apparently like a bunch of other bad failed robberies. I've got a list if you want to hear. Yes, please. So in March, this is actually a month ago a british man walked into a bank branch in st leonard's in england he handed the clerk a cat at the counter a note informing them here that he was there to rob the bank uh but his handwriting was so bad that the clerk just had no idea what the scribbles on the paper meant. When he asked, what do you want, sir?

The man turned around and walked away. However, they sent the note up the chain and they deciphered that he was trying to rob the bank. Oh, what? And they arrested him. I wonder how much time you'd do for that. I guess it wasn't armed robbery, but it is robbery. It's like attempted robbery, but it is robbery.

It's like attempted robbery, isn't it? For a while, there was a guy I was at university with who used to be a bank robber. I've spoken about this before, but he used to rob post offices. But he never took a real gun, because that way they can't bust you for armed robbery, just robbery, and it's a substantially lighter sentence. So what would you use? Just a thing that looked like a gun.

Can't you still get into trouble for using a fake fake gun now you can now but you couldn't like they were like this is ridiculous uh i mean in a way it is safer because it means they're not taking a real gun in but now that it's the same why not take a real gun i guess is is one argument you could make but that is i don't think people who are gonna rob banks are looking up how much time they're gonna get i think they might be i think some of them might be and that kind of info gets around you know what i mean like other criminals are gonna talk about you go to prison for armed robbery and there's some guy in there who also did robbery but he had a fake gun he had a real one he's like i'll see you on the other side i'm gonna be out in five you're gonna be here for 15 and you'd be like next time i'll just take a fake gun so i don't know i think that that the information does get around but i love

a shit robbery if you're still robbing a bank in 2021 they've got so much security that you're gonna get caught like even if you get out the door with the money what are the chances that you're ever gonna be able to spend it that you're. And all the dollars are digital now anyway, right? No banks have actual money in them. Yeah, do banks actually keep physical money in them in massive quantities? Not massive quantities, but it's certainly, if you're desperate enough to go and rob a bank.

Okay, but what's your likelihood of the amount of money that you're going to get from a bank robbery? I reckon you could get five to ten grand. Five ten five to ten grand it doesn't seem worth it honestly like it's but that's behind the counter i'm guessing i don't think because the thing is you you go into the bank now i think you'd be lucky even to get that yeah because it's not like like in the old days you go in and every till as it were with you know every single slot was was filled because that's where you did your banking. So you'd have to queue and there'd be a bunch of people.

Before ATMs, that was the only way to get your money out. And so as a result, banks were packed full of people getting quite a lot of money out. You'd have to get hundreds out at a time. That's the time to do it. They didn't have CCTV cameras. They didn't have those fucking exploding ink pellets. They didn't have those automatic closing doors. Also, everyone paid for everything in cash.

Yeah. Right? You paid a lot more in cash for stuff, so people needed a lot more money. And also, bank vaults were just a matter of you just smack the bank manager

in the nose and get him to open the vault. Job done. Like, that's what they did for decades. That's how banks were robbed. But now you go into a bank and stick them up.

Huge shutters rocket to the... down instantly and you're sealed in a room it's like what the fuck was i thinking like it's trying to rob the enterprise what's the point you're just gonna they're gonna beam you straight to prison dude there's better ways you know just pretend to be a fucking what's his face um keanu reeves and scam old ladies that's exactly it you make all those bank robbers are now just scammers online

uk and a reeves fan facts yeah he's a he's a i like he can't act for shit but i like so so there was another robbery i want to tell you about uh so recently a uk man uh broke into a car and stole the sat nav um but he they people have these like cameras little cameras in their cars now, and it caught a little shot of his neck, and he had a tattoo on his neck that had both his name and his date of birth. No way. Nice. I mean, first of all, why?

Because you could just ask them. It's on his neck. That's right near his mouth. He could just say, if someone ever needed to know, what's your name and what's your date of birth? You don't just need to point to your fucking neck. And it can't be some kind of aide-memoire because you can't look at your own neck.

Unless he carries a small mirror with him everywhere. Maybe he's the guy from Memento. Yeah, but then he has to have a mirror. It must be written backwards. Let me just check my neck here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My name's Brian and I was born... He just like forgets forget let me just check

my bicep oh yeah to-do list for thursday steel sat navs uh you know rob bank yeah so what's it for that's moronic i mean when people have their kids names or something you understand that it's like a sentimental thing having your own name and birthday tattooed on a part of your body you can't even read what's the point that's just no idea also that's just an that's just an invitation for identity theft come on um flax i just want to uh point out to you that um sorry to um to to derail this once again and talk about van damme but he he is still actively making uh movies uh yeah so steven seagal mate he's gonna be he's got a voice role in minions the rise of gru which is coming out next year i mean i hate the minions more than anything on earth he's uh he's searching for a distributor and an editor for a film to be announced uh titled

frenchie so so i watched a van damme movie from the 2000s where he's some kind of... Was it the 2017 direct-to-video Kick Em All? I don't know. I watched it on one of those really late-night movie channels where there's just all kinds of shit on. He's like a pickpocket who lives in Paris or something. He was really busy in 2011. He was in Compendia 2, Assassination Games.

Five movies. in 2011 he he was in contrapanded to assassination games five movies uh rozevsky versus napoleon and dragon eyes yeah five movies if anyone out there knows what movie i'm talking about there's some bit where he's like this is the bit i remember he's on a wall wearing some weird garb and he's some some people have come to talk to him about something i'm sorry i'm so vague it's all right it's like the film jumps from scene to scene it's like this is this is when these films get made by these washed up uh former so-called stars like john claude van damme and i'm gonna go hard here i'm gonna go hard what happens is the only way he can get funding is find some lunatic who's still a big fan of his that will give him millions of dollars to make a shit movie. And Seagal manages this, Van Damme manages this.

He played Guile in the 1995 Street Fighter movie. He did, yeah. I don't think we should be giving him any credit. He's probably a prick. Yeah. I mean, he's not even... First of all, how has he gotten away with naming himself a curse word, right?

Because that's not even his real name. You know, if I called myself, you know, Leonardo the shit. Oh, yeah. No, his name is Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg. Yeah, exactly. He's somehow cleverly given himself this sort of kick ass sounding name, tricked his way into Hollywood. And now everyone's falling over him like he's some fucking you know

brilliant old he's i guess he's old and people have forgotten that the movies he were in he was a joke back in the day but they've sort of thought oh he's one of the old that's the thing these guys get rolling in there and he gets executive producer and he's he's like he's in it and he has a massive amount of say in what's in the film and what makes it and everything and this these films are horribly edited they oh my god he's the hideo kojima of movies of french cinema he's got some he's got some weird fucking shit ideas and somehow some of them it's just he's just his his film career is utterly bizarre if you look at some of his later films in particular trust me yeah yeah they are absolutely kickboxer retaliation that's a thing apparently kickboxer vengeance kung fu

panda 3 okay i think he was in all the kung fu pandas by the looks of it universal soldier i remember the expendables the expendables was the the sort of uh like the the whole slew of 80s action guys right yeah it's like a retirement home for yeah yeah schwarzenegger stallone was stallone in it as well oh god yeah the expendables yeah it was like i've never seen any of them i'm not it was like his whole thing i mean he's just like gets all his old mates that are also juicing so they can stay big in the 50s to all those guys did like planet hollywood and all that shit too right that was all that exactly that's it's the fucking planet it's the same fucking dopey crowd of 80s action action men that's that's pretty funny actually i like that i don't know if van damme was involved in that bruce willis was

for sure lewis has just posted an article here this check this one this is fascinating people are you sure all right yeah go for it this is what it takes to be a proper actor all right michael cain michael cain spent eight years of his life walking around trying not to blink that was his acting technique he spent eight years trying not to blink earning him the nickname snake eyes and look at this picture of him his eyes are so fucking red like he's probably damaged his eyes beyond repair from doing that as well he said he read a book called teach yourself acting which gave him the idea that not opening and closing your eyes in accordance with nature's whims is a solid acting technique kane says he put the book down thinking don't blink you must never blink and then proceeded

to spend the next eight years of his life not blinking. Master Wade, I've noticed that you've been blinking a lot lately. You mustn't blink, Master Wade. He's been in music videos as well, Van Damme, by the way. He was in Body Count in the House in 1992 by Body Count. Again, this was over 25 years ago. But then again, how many music videos has Michael Caine made? In 94, he was in Straight to My Feet with MC Hammer featuring Deon Sanders. 27 years ago.

Keep going. In 1999, he was in Crush Him by Megadeth. 22 years ago. What else have you got? In 2020, he was in Ultra Rev by Eron. Who? Well, it was at least a year ago i love that you said that so well okay that was such a good dad who okay hang on eron is a is a french pop rock musical duo consisting of

simon buret and olivier corsier their debut album, Artificial Animals Riding on Neverland, was released in 2007 and made them popular in France and Europe. Popular in France should be on people's gravestone when their career is over. It'll be on Van Damme's. Definitely. Right, well, listen, thank you very much. That was Triforce this week. We'll be back next week with more gubbins.

Yes. And garbage. Yeah. Until then. Bye. Peace. Goodbye.