Triforce! - Triforce! #197: Hootcon 2021

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

Triforce! Episode 197! A young Pflax appears in a very old short film (Dog Day Morning, look it up) but if you want to meet Pyrion now then go to Hootcon 2021! Meanwhile, we're coming up with our perfect restaurant themes! Go to http://manscaped.com and use code TRIFORCE to get 20% off with free shipping. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. of you. Manage expenses with the new TD low rate visa card. With an 8.99% promotional interest rate for the first six months, the new TD low rate visa card can help find some balance. Learn more at td.com slash low rate card. Conditions apply. Limited time offer. Hello everyone and welcome back to the Triforce podcast Coming to you from a late fall in Bristol here This weather, eh? Hi everybody, this weather It's the kind of time when you don't know whether you've stepped upon a leaf or a dog poo A slippery ground thing Could be either

It's a wonderful time of the year. Welcome PFLAX. How are you? I'm doing much better now I'm home. Much better now I'm home. So I just wanted to clarify something just in case anybody had heard that I left TI early. I did leave early. And I left because a couple of my good mates there, Cap and JJ, got COVID. And they are stuck there now for 10 days or two weeks or whatever. Oh, no. If I had stayed for the final couple of late game shows, I felt if there was a chance that I was going to get it. And the moment that we had to isolate, like we were told, you know,

Cap and JJ have got it. Everybody that's been with them the last few days needs to isolate. We had to take a PCR test and all that. The fear of being stuck there for two days. I was waiting for 12 hours for the results in my hotel room. For two weeks, you mean? Sorry, two weeks. So when it came out, we took a PCR test straight away and we isolated until the result came back like 12 hours later. We weren't allowed to leave our hotel room.

We had room service. And we were just stuck in there and all the rest of it. So because of that, we missed one episode. And then I said to Valve, I'm not being funny, but I didn't think that this was going to happen. Like I kind of when we agreed to do TI and everything, Romania wasn't in the situation that it is now. Sure. Which is that it's kind of infested with COVID. There's a lot of resistance to getting the vaccine.

And there also seemed to be a lot of carelessness from the locals. If you got on a car for, you know, a driver of any kind or the security guards at the arena and stuff didn't have their masks on as much as I would have liked. And also the cleaners in the hotel would walk around without their mask on. And then when they saw you, they'd put it over their chin. And, you know, that was pretty much it. It was like they didn't seem to be taking it seriously uh it's just a culture thing or whatever but they weren't as

interested in um in masking up as we were in in the uk and i assume other places so i guess cap and jj caught it that way uh because all of us coming in were double vaxxed all of us were tested every day i'm very confident that someone from outside didn't bring it to ti i think someone in romania probably um gave it to someone so i was very nervous uh i mean you know i should have figured that these things could happen and if i was that worried i guess i should have said i should have passed on ti but i honestly thought it was going to be okay um i think a lot of people did right yeah especially judging by how normal it is here right we exactly i went to see James Bond, you know, in the cinema.

Yeah. Which feels mental. It was full of people. Yeah. You know, there wasn't even spare seats. We weren't even like, there's no buffering. It was packed full of people. Yeah.

You know, no one wearing masks anywhere. We had an office outbreak of COVID this week, however. So, you know, that's caused a bunch of trouble. But yeah, I guess it did feel like to some extent the event would be normal. But that wasn't the only thing that was a problem. I mean, I think people gradually got more and more frustrated, at least from my view of what the talent were experiencing, you know, with the, they started wearing their jackets on stage and stuff like this.

Well, it was very cold. So the arena itself, the arena itself, it's a football stadium. It's a national stadium in Bucharest. It's a football stadium. It's a national stadium in Bucharest. It's a beautiful stadium. It really is. The stage was amazing. The seats were all these beautiful, vibrant colors. So when we got there, it would have been amazing as a live venue.

But it is a covered stadium, as in they just put the roof on, which is a bit like putting a plastic bag over the top of your house and thinking that that'll keep the heat in. It was freezing. It was so cold.ings the casting stuff was out in the arena because that's where it would have been if the crowd had been there that's what you do you have the casters in the arena so that you get that raw crowd noise on the car they would have warmed up with all that breath as well they might have done yeah instead it was just so cold. I mean, when we did the late game, which was outside in what was essentially a box. If you took a box and cut two sides off it,

that was our set. It was like a sort of, I don't know what shape that is, but it was like a cube with two sides removed. Someone will know. So it's like open at the back and the front and the wind just whipped through this thing. And when it rained, the rain would be hitting the back of your neck

while we're doing the show. So they had these heat lamps there to keep us warm. And I don't know if you know, if you look at the show, I was wearing a short-sleeved fucking summer shirt. I know, yeah, I know. Because I was like, oh, it's only early October.

I'm sure Romania is lovely and warm this time of year for some stupid reason. And because I'm going on holiday next week, so when this goes out, I will be on holiday when you're listening to this. I was packing as if I was going on holiday like a fucking idiot. Well, we thought you were going straight there, actually, because you mentioned this last week. We thought you'd be on holiday this week.

No. So there was a little week gap. Yeah, there was a week gap. Well, that's the other reason you didn't want to get COVID, because you didn't want to miss your holiday. That was the main reason, yeah. People are very anxious. I had a similar thing where I had to go to a funeral.

I didn't want to get... It was when I was going to visit you, Sips. Oh, yeah. I didn't want to get stuck in Jersey. No, of course. Well, you don't want to get stuck anywhere. It doesn't really matter, right? I mean, it'd be different if you were going to visit Cindy Crawford

and you got stuck at her house for a couple of months. Another classic up-to-date reference from the dark. Fuck, man. I'm so sorry. I didn't know this was going to happen. I guess we're just going to have to get married. Sorry. I mean, that's the only way.

I'll be stuck here forever. The tests and they're all backed up. That's what the COVID rules say we're married now yeah if we live together if i have to isolate with you for two weeks you know what that means and what it's just unfortunate that liz hurley was decided to visit at the same time she's gonna be stuck here too for a couple of months you and liz hurley together gosh don't worry. I mean, I'll rub your feet and feed you every day and make a hot water bottle for you and stuff.

Don't worry about any of that. Of course, I'll do that. Rub your back. I've got some oils and stuff. So Cindy Crawford is 55 and Liz Hurley is 56. That's how out of date our reference is. Well, listen, I mean, when I was... They'd be grateful for it.

They'd be grateful for We. They'd be grateful for We Can Pamper It as a website. When I was 15 years old, they were like in their prime, right? So now that I'm 40 and they're, you know, maybe a little bit past

their prime or whatever, I still have fond memories of being a 15 year old and just whacking off all the time, you know? I just, I loved it. I mean, I'm not blind or anything i just i fucking love jerking off my palms are that hairy like they were lying to us oh man yeah so that

was that was uh that was why i left early was i i didn't want to be stuck in a romanian hotel with the romanian equivalent of cindy crawford and uh not wearing a mask properly cindy crawford ski yeah well that's not romanian i guess i'd be more like i don't know do you guys want to hear something absolutely nuts do you want to hear something now sure is this i mean you've obviously when we when we meet up and we go to the pub you're going to tell us all of the juicy stuff that you can't tell on the podcast you know all of the all the wonderful stuff. But give us a little nugget that we can hear. All right, here is something. I used to do a drama club in the 90s,

early, very early 90s. Right. And it was like, it was in Bournemouth and me and a couple of my mates, because, you know, it was just a fun thing to do. We'd go along to drama club and it was like the guy that did it, the guy that ran it was like an actor,

but he'd been in casualty a bunch of times right and a couple of other things as an extra so he'd been an extra in casualty that was like his big thing well you're so you lowered the bar when you said he was a casualty then you lowered the bar even more when you said he was a wounded patient multiple times oh fuck does he look like sick no he's just kind of a kind of an everyman looking dude oh you're perfect you're perfect for wounded patient number six but he was also like a nurse he was like an orderly like just the people that are in the frame when the actors enter scuttling about in the background or groaning like oh in a hospital bed and the nurse is like doing something then they turn away to have a very

important conversation about i don't know who's fucking who in the hospital with the one of the main characters you know you have to be quite like forgettable or to have to do that no exactly you can't be someone with a really recognizable i don't know or maybe maybe in fact it's like the other way around maybe if you are really recognizable and like bold and weird looking you know maybe you don't stick out bold is weird looking and nick fucking bastard weird sorry carry on sorry no i think it's been made popular by like bruce willis and stuff now you're fine it's fine maybe yeah i think maybe um so he was he was in that. And occasionally, young filmmakers from university or stuff like that would be making a short film and they needed kids as extras. Now, they would go to schools or they would go to drama clubs.

And one time, this filmmaker came to our drama club and needed some extras for a film called Dog Day Morning, which is a play on Dog Day Afternoon, which is an Al Pacino film. This was called Dog Day Morning. And it's basically about a goalkeeper who doesn't want to have to save shots to his right because there's a dog poo in the goal. So we made this film. I remember going along. It was like on a school field.

I think it was one of the schools in Bournemouth. And I just, for some reason, Dog Day Afternoon popped up on Google for me somewhere. And I was like, oh, I haven't seen that movie in a while. And I watched a couple of clips from it. And then the name Dog Day Morning popped into my head. I was like, oh, yeah, wasn't I in like a short film way back in the 90s? So it was 1990. I found it on YouTube.

You can Google it. If you Google Dog Day Morning, it's got 595 views right dog day morning 10 minutes short made it bp's cad in 1990 with a 13 year old stephen graham the actor stephen graham if you don't know the name go ahead and google it right now you will know exactly who he is right he's been in a billion things he was in that film and i'm looking at him now and there he is a very young stephen graham he would have been about let me think it was 1990 so i think he would have been 15 and there he is and this is like one Graham. He would have been about, let me think, it was 1990. So I think he would have been 15. And there he is.

And this is like one of his first films. It is very clearly him. He's kind of like an English hard man slash detective. Yeah, but he plays Americans. Like Vinnie Jones. No, no, no. He just does everything. He plays all kinds of different roles. Like Phil Mitchell.

I guess. But he's a scouser. Oh, okay. But he was in Band of Brothers. He was in that film Brothers he was in um the that film about John Dillinger what's it called uh the one Christian Bale is in it and Johnny Depp is in it Most Wanted or something like that he was Al Capote in Boardwalk Empire oh shit that guy man he's such a good actor right so he was in. And I've taken a screen cap and posted it on Facebook basically for my mom.

It's like, there's me. Very, very young me. If you find the video and watch it, I can't remember what exact timestamp I'm in there. But you can see a very young Perrion Flax. I'm like 14. Very sunken cheeks. Very floppy 1990 hair. And there's Stephen Graham in it.

Holy crap. I couldn't believe it. That's nuts. I remember making it but i didn't realize it had an actual actor in it yeah yeah so there you go man yeah well there you go holy shit how does that make you feel i just thought it was a weird flashback like one of those weird things yeah i haven't thought about in a long time that's pretty weird actually where are you where are you it's hard to find me but i'll try and find the time stamp i did spot i'm

looking for a bald i'm looking for a bald head this is not helping no i've been to the 90s probably still have has a full head of hair did you have like a big afro no i didn't i will find a time stamp we've gone through this that's not how it works more hair when he was a kid to make up for the lack of hair when i just thought it would be funny if he had a huge app he didn't get all of his hair go to the time code 329.29, and then press play, and then press pause as soon as the lad kicks the ball. So at 3.31, you'll see there's a shot of a bunch of young lads, most of them wearing red, and on the right-hand side, there's me.

At the back? You can see, so... Or is it half of your face? No, no, no. You can just see his eyes imported. I'm the guy to the left of him that is me he looks nothing like you he's like a child model i know that is that he's like he's about to advertise cereal and like give a thumbs up to the camera oh my god there i am

very young 14 year old uh 14 years old man how much hair i've got do you remember when you were 14 if you um if you had any like uh posters or like um i did magazine clippings of um cindy crawford and i didn't have cindy crawford i'll tell you i did have erica eleniak from baywatch go ahead and look up erica eleniak okay hang on a second now you can find the poster. I found the poster. Erica M. No, no, that's... You can find the poster. It's her leaning on a car, wearing her Baywatch uniform and looking directly at the camera.

That was the poster I had on my wall. Quite a large poster of Erica Eleniak. I think she was also in Under Siege. Oh, yeah. I recognize Erica Eleniak. You had a poster of Erica Eleniak. I think she was also in Under Siege. Oh, yeah. I recognize Erica Eleniak. You had a poster of Erica Eleniak? I did. Look at, I mean, she had big old titties and I was a big

fan of Baywatch back in the day. Let me tell you something. I had a poster of Alicia Silverstone who was more of a North American heartthrob in the 90s. I am a big fan. I was a big fan of Alicia Silverstone back then. I am a big fan of her early work. What is that film called?

Clueless? Clueless, yeah. That's a really good movie. That was the big one, right? And then I think she was also in a bunch of Aerosmith videos, remember? Yeah. Like early 90s. But so was Liv Tyler was in some of it.

Because that was obviously his daughter. And The Crush as well. I don't know if you remember the movie The Crush. But more recently. was uh live tyler was in yes okay because that was obviously his daughter but and the crush as well i don't know if you remember the movie the crush but i mean yeah more more recently somewhat recently and i had to do a double take because my son was watching uh diary of a wimpy kid the right the live action movie and uh she plays the mom in that ah and man, she looks like such a Karen now. It's crazy. Like just, she just looks like a mom. But I was like, man, she looks so familiar. Like who is that?

And then I was like, oh my God, it's Alicia Silverstone. And then that made me feel really bad about myself as well. Because like, you know, she was like super hot in the 90s. I was super hot in the 90s. In 2021, maybe not so much. I actually had that realization about myself and also Alicia Silverstone. So there you go. Not nice, but there you go.

Alicia Silverstone, she was good. But I think I was a little, maybe a little older because I'm a few years older than you. For me, Jennifer Connelly in Labyrinth was my first genuine screen love. I fell in love with Jennifer Connelly. I can't stop talking about it. Look at pictures of that. She was so beautiful. And I was absolutely besotted with her.

I loved Labyrinth. And she was just, she was, oh, I absolutely loved her. My first crush like that was Cameron Diaz in The Mask. I was like 13 or 14 years old. old oh my god I just thought holy crap this is just like the this is the best I think I got I'm looking back it's like I would have been like 11 or 12 so she was my first like absolute yeah head over heels it's a funny age isn't it like you're sort of early early to mid-teens you just like you literally fall in love with someone on tv I know yeah yeah it's weird isn't

it yeah it's really weird but um yeah what about you lewis probably like that what's the old lady the old lady that does the alison hannigan from buffy probably i never liked willow why didn't buffy was the hot one on that show well there are other laughs but alison hannigan i never got it i was thinking of Mary Berry. She's a different kind of pie. She's a sort of lemon meringue pie, I think, is Mary Berry. Yeah. Jennifer Connelly became very kind of headteacher-y severe, though, right,

in her film roles. She sort of became this, she'd always have like a tight bun and she'd stand up very straight and be very tall and be very well-dressed. I always imagine her as telling someone off or being an evil kind of... What the hell else? Oh, she was in A Beautiful Mind. I think that's where I remember her more from. She was in tons of stuff. But she definitely has that high-cheekbones, slightly scary-looking woman.

Very posh, yeah like businesswoman yes badass no nonsense well fashionable businesswoman i don't know yeah she definitely seemed to like fit that stereotype in my mind i agree with that i agree yeah and and that's that's you know she hardened and that's not what i want with uh with my women i want soft pillowy uh breasts nice nice good to know yeah good to know i'm thinking of christmas presents and uh just gonna get you some big big pillowy breasts i mean that's why i love baywatch so much that felt like the greatest tv show ever made pamela i loved it pamela pamela anderson baywatch oh yeah it was just endless jiggling boobs i mean it was incredible because you got to remember when this was out late 80s early 90s there was no internet there was no pornography

there was nothing for a young teenage boy to get his hands on but you had to find a stash in the woods which was yeah you had to get the wood stash but I'm not going to go in and buy a porno, and I'm definitely not going to ask my mates when I go into the house, can I, you know, borrow your older brother's porno? Can we snoop through your dad's stuff and find his pornos? Yeah, no way. Like, it was on TV.

They just broadcast boobs right there on television. Well, I think it was cleverly done because you know how in winter everyone is, like, wearing 50 layers of stuff right and then in summer there's just naked people walking around the high street right everyone's got their top off and there's girls wearing basically next to nothing for like two months it's amazing and then you don't see an outdoor boob again for eight months right it's not a wild breast is hard to come by is what we're saying really but they But in Baywatch, it's always hot.

It's just normal. And the normal clothes are that summer nothing, right? And I can get away with it because it's, oh, this is the setting. It's LA. It's summer. It's on the beach. And so as a result, yeah, everyone would be wearing what I guess for the rest of the year is not cool. would be wearing what i guess for the rest of the year is not cool but for a couple you still forget though by the time winter comes around just how how how how what kind of a drought there is of

of natural boob uh out there on the street yeah we just need more it was just magic i think what lewis is trying to say is we just need more yeah boobage i think that's how they say can we get some boobs up in here, please? Is there a... Can we... Hello? We need titties right now. Yeah.

I saw this thing. Actually, I'm going to mention it, but I don't know anything about it. And I haven't looked into it. But apparently, there was some issue with, you know, the chain hooters in North America? Yes. There was an issue with their new uniform. And there was something wrong with the shorts or something. And people didn't want to wear the shorts.

What, the hot pants? They can now just wear their own shorts if they want. Apparently, this is the outcome of the whole thing. But like, man, I thought Hooters had to have died in the 90s.

Like, even in the 90s. I went to one a few years ago. There's one in Nottingham. I went to one with my dad in the 90s and it was... Oh, my God. It was one of those things

that was like, man, I've always wanted to go to Ho one of those things that was like man i've always wanted to go to hooters but i was like 17 years old my dad's like okay i guess i'll take you to hooters so we went to hooters and i got back like we didn't say a word to each other the entire time the whole drive back nothing and we've never talked about it since it's just like it's like it never happens it was so such a weird experience but i just figured tell me what happened because it was so weird and and out of date i mean it was even like when i went it was what's been 90 97 it was fucking so out of date like in in every aspect right

and uh i'm surprised it's still going honestly yeah i mean that i don't know i don't know of a single person that i've ever encountered that would actively go to a Hooters, for example. I went to one a few years ago, like three, four years ago. Yeah, but like as a joke? Like, did you go? No, it was just, we were standing. You seriously just wanted to go? I was out.

No, I didn't go like, let's go to Hooters. It was like the hotel we were staying in, there was like two choices of restaurant near to it. One was a Chili's. We went there the first night. Right. So we went to Hoover's. The food was decent. They were showing the football.

So it was like, Oh, okay. Fair enough. But I just like, yeah, it's just such a weird. It is a weird vibe. It is a weird vibe. Yeah.

And I don't recommend going there with your dad. Check your waders. Hand job. That's it. No, I can't remember what I fucking heard. I'm sure there were

curly fries involved. What opened in Bristol? By the way, can I just have two you before we move on from baywatch yasmin bleef oh do you know what i just uh i was just thank you because i looked up pamela anderson and uh it was like uh you may also be interested in and yasmin bleef is at the bottom well of uh you got carmen yes carmen You got Carmen Electra down here. Yes, Carmen Electra. Yasmin Bleeth, Alexandra Paul, Nicole Eggert, Brooke Burns, and Erika Eleniak. Donna De'Erico. Brooke Burns looks a lot like Sandra Bullock, but like more exaggerated facial expressions. Donna De'Erico. I don't even know who she is.

Apparently there's only one Hooters now in Britain. Is it in Nottingham? I'm surprised there are any actually i didn't realize that this was a that they made it across the pond like i know it's uh it you know it's a very american thing so we went to nottingham yeah we went we i've been to that one because we went to football we went to see bournemouth against i think it was either forest or Canterbury. How many hooters have you been to? Just the one. Oh, my God. You have out-hooded me on this day. It's all coming out now. I'm not ashamed.

It's just a fine restaurant. I go there for the food. This was one of those moments, right? This is one of those moments when you don't volunteer the information, but when someone asks you, you have the answer, right? I have the answer. It's like, I like that. So it reminds me of that time when I sort of accidentally asked my mum,

I was like, oh, have you ever been married before? Kind of like casually. And she was saying to me, oh, actually, I was. And I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. It was like earth shaking. That was how I felt when you said you'd be to three hooters, separate branches.

Three separate branches of hooters. I went to the one in nottingham we were up there for football right this is with all the lads you know we drove up and of course you know there's like 15 blokes in a van we're going to hooters and then i went to the one in it was over in la when i was over for a don't wear event with beyond the summit right and the hotel we were staying in was pretty basic. Was it called the Hooters Hotel? No, the hotel was not attached to Hooters, unfortunately. I love it if Flax just turns out to be this guy who just seeks out Hooters everywhere he goes.

I go to HootCon. I go to HootCon every year. He goes to HootCon. There are definitely that kind of people, right? There are definitely that kind of people. Fucking HootCon. HootCon, man. people unfortunately it's all outside so it's fucking freezing oh well you know that you know what women's breasts do when it's cold lewis

that's why hootcon is always held at freezing temperatures it's hootcon thing anyway the third one the third one was in florida i think i went with my dad florida seems like the the perfect state to have so many hooters right like oh it's like ground zero for hooters i'm sure it's got to be actually interestingly let's see hooters uh not uk hooters i just want to find out like where it originated because i'd be surprised if it wasn't florida yeah it would be a miracle it wasn't florida hooters is a registered trademark in as based in clearwater florida and hooters of america incorporated is based in atlanta georgia and is owned by the private investment firm nord bay capital wow there you go north bay capital surely no is it i mean is is that the dated nathness of it nostalgic do you mean is it is it a joke i mean it's not it's not obviously openly sleazy or do you know i mean like like too

gross well maybe it is in some places still but do you mean like does it is it one of those things that sort of actually accidentally legitimizes that kind of thing hey jeremy listen to this like self-aware but secretly a perverted thing the hooters the hooters name is a double entendre referring to both a north american slang term for women's breasts and the logo a bird known for its hooting calls the owl so the owls eyes are big titties uh but there's like a full owl picture in the hooters yeah i guess yeah sorry but like i forgot who i was talking to that was their old logo i think their new logo is is slightly different it's a slightly more i don't know i'm on wikipedia right now and it looks like a logo scroll down look at logo. Scroll down. Look at 1983 to 2013.

The Hooters logo looks a lot more like an actual owl. It looks like the owl is melting or it looks like roadkill owl. It doesn't look great. And then you scroll up and it's like a nice sort of friendly looking owl. Oh my God, the Hooters logo font is almost exactly the same as the font we use

for the Yogscast. The Hooters logo 1983 to 2013 logo looks awful but then offset against hooters calendar girl melissa poe in 2004 you just think well you know what's probably not too bad so when i when i went to hooters um the first time obviously i'm a big fan of of uh you know hoot hot pants let's be honest right they're very it's right i didn't know what you were gonna say i thought it might be chicken wings it might be football it was hot pants that was unexpected i mean all of those things i'm a big fan of but if you want me to just start listing things i could do that but on topic hot pants good look

um and i if you read on the wikipedia it lists the things that the women uh have the work they have to abide by which is the the handbook the the code if you will these are the female employees are required there's the fucking door again christ hey he's gone he's gone he's got to go answer the door for a parcel halloween is here and do you know what's spookier than seeing a black cat it's trying to shave your balls with anything other than Manscaped. So when it comes to below the waist grooming, there's no need to carve your pumpkins this Halloween because Manscaped is here to upgrade your grooming experience.

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See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly. Listen, there's been a lot of legal issues at Hooters. I don't know if you care to find out about some of these. Why are you telling me? Save this for Flags. I'm not an expert. I'm not going to help.

I'm not going to think about legal trouble. If I give you the lowdown now before he gets back, you'll know all these facts, and you can say I'm not even looking at the Wikipedia. I just have done a lot of research on Hooters for research purposes, right? And then, you know, he'll think that you're really smart and stuff. You want to do it?

Sure. Okay, in 2009, Nikolai Grushevsky, a man from Corpus Christi, Texas, filed a lawsuit because Hooters would not hire him as a waiter. Grushevsky and Hooters reached a confidential settlement on April 13th. I think a lot of the legal issues are basically guys saying like, why can't I work at Hooters? And then them saying. Oh, they're just being dickheads. No one wants to see your moves.

Yeah. Fuck off. Like you can say that's not fair, but it is what it is. them saying oh they're just being dickheads no one wants to see your moves yeah fuck off like you can say that's not fair but it is what it is i think most of the legal stuff is is uh is just chances kind of stuff yeah yeah i think it's probably fairly equal opportunity listen to this one though you'll like this in 2011 a number of former hooters executives left to start a Twin Peaks franchise group. Bam. What? Twin Peaks?

And alleged that former Hooters executives stole trade secrets and management documents as part of their move to the new restaurant chain. In 2012, former employee Jerry Stratton filed suit after catching the airborne disease tuberculosis from one of her managers. Wow. That's pretty nuts. So I'm intrigued. suit after catching the airborne disease tuberculosis from one of her managers wow that's

pretty nuts so what i'm i'm intrigued the former hooters executive stole trade secrets would that be the trade secret of having girls wear hot pants and tight tops yeah i mean i guess they stole our secret they know they know how to make money now they know that straight men like looking at attractive young women god damn damn it, file suit. God, what a turbulent history for Hooters. That's a double problem, though, because the Twin Peaks people will probably sue him as well. Well, yeah, I mean, Twin Peaks is a still ongoing television series.

Okay, Twin Peaks restaurant have 83 locations. Their slogan is eats, drinks, scenic views. Oh my God. It's so creepy, man. It is super creepy. It's like Benny Hill, the restaurant really, isn't it? I mean, also it's called a breast-aurant. All this beating around the bush.

Just call a restaurant like pussy or like or something like that and they get them in and you know what you're getting right you're just like okay yeah i'm not here to eat or maybe like i am i guess in another creepy kind of way but you know what i mean like it just come on like save us all this like just you know if you if you want to just get people to to take their kid off in front of other people just call it that the people take their kid off in front of other people just call it that the people take their kid off in front of you please like be more specific yeah stop bamboozling us i guess everything that is on it's always stuff that's right on the edge works well right like stuff obviously like the controversy helps fuel it there's always going to be a market for it i'm sure we when

we had some some friends down to bristol that we met who we thought were perfectly normal guys they were like oh yeah we've been checking out all the gentlemen's clubs in the place what do you think of urban tiger and i was like i've never been to any of those i have no idea where they are like i can't i've been to one say that did i i was like i was like oh yeah um yeah I just tried to fit in. Like, oh, yeah, I love those. I'm a gentleman myself. I've partaked of many a fine establishment locally. Urban Tiger.

Sorry, I've been to two, actually. How have I never been here? I've been down to Bristol a bunch of times. Yeah, there's one like. It's right near where I stay. Yeah, yeah, there's one right by the Radisson Blue. I'm going to have a look. It's right by Pye Minster.

You go in, have a nice pie, and then boom. Gentleman's Club, baby. Boom titties. So there are male versions. There is a place called Tallywhackers. Right. Features scanty clad men in Dallas, Texas. But it was closed in August 2016.

But of course, there are a lot of places like this in Japan. Tallywhackers. Specifically, there's a place of places like this in japan tallywhackers specifically there's like there's a place called macho cafe where brawny muscly men serve food and drinks uh macho meat shop is another one i mean but also um i mean this this is the whole host desk club maid cafes type thing do you know i mean this is another the whole on the borderline thing the whole sort of like themed uh restaurant thing especially in north america like maybe more in the 80s but possibly now i'm not sure but i know for sure in the 80s there were a couple of chains uh one specifically that i remember from being a kid was a place called ip loonies and all the waiters were dressed

up as like dracula or like a mummy or whatever like it was like all this like like themed thing right and they just had all these little things that they did like if you if you wore a tie they would cut it off like that was just the thing that they did so like right i don't know why i guess it was just like to make the experience more memorable or wacky or something like that i always thought it was stupid as hell but like when i was a kid it was kind of kind of funny i guess you know but i feel like in north america they, it was kind of funny, I guess, you know? But I feel like in North America, they go for that kind of stuff, you know?

Like it's, they love going out to eat, you know? They like getting good value for their meals and stuff, but they also like the experience too, right? And like sometimes the experience is a bit different. I feel less so in Britain. You go to Britain, people grunt at you and they give you your food and then you your your food and then you eat it all and then you leave right like you like nobody's like overly interested we don't really

go in for the interaction we want to be served left alone and then take everything away and we'll pay and we'll leave yeah you go to the states and i mean i've been out to eat in in a whole bunch of places across america obviously there are differences in culture where because tips are involved you're and they're always called servers, aren't they? Yeah. Will sort of like, will be extra nice to you because they want to get a tip. That's the idea.

Yeah. I think some of them are just very nice and sort of pleasant. For sure. But you get way more upselling as a result of that. You do. Culture. You know, like I know like a couple of times that we've been to the States for different conventions or whatever and we you know go out for a meal the

first night we're there and it's just it's constant it's like um you know you know like they're it's like they're trying to sell you a car but it's just yeah it's just a meal and it's very american you're like oh can i just get some i'll just get some macaroni and cheese and they're like oh would you like our chef to sprinkle sprinkle on some delicate dingleberries and maybe some bacon? And would you like some asparagus on the side that's just slowly pan-roasted in butter? And you're like, get me some fucking macaroni, buddy. Jeez. Like, I don't want any of this shit you're talking about.

And I also don't want to pay, like, a million dollars to eat. Like, just get me the macaroni and fuck off. Like, just used to being in the uk you come to the uk that's the kind of service we'll get oh i know what do you want these yeah there you go and then they don't even acknowledge it they just walk away and come back with it it's like it's fucking great though i prefer it like that you know it's very we make out we're there for for our own fun right like very not very often do people feel like they have to entertain us, but it does feel like that's the thing in America. Like you go to a sports bar to watch sports and meet people

or talk to people about sports or do something, right? I guess it's, this is just the next thing. I mean, and also it's just, it's a whole thing, right? There's this place called Bikini's Sports Bar and Grill, right? Which this guy opened up and then there's always, this is such a whole thing, right? There's this place called Bikini's Sports Bar and Grill, right? Which this guy opened up. And then, this is such an American thing, right? He purchased a ghost town, okay, called Bankersmith, and renamed it to Bikini's Texas, right?

So it was like the idea of having some sort of hall of fame there. And like, I don't know, just this kind of American thing that people do, right? Where these businessmen come up with these stupid ideas and just to promote their weird thing and you never know it could get massive as a result but it might just flop and fall to pieces as i assume this one did because it was run by some crazy chancer but there's so many of these restaurant like chains it's like redneck heaven is one apparently which sounds awful i would never go to a redneck heaven just imagine that for a moment if you're not a redneck that is an advertisement to never go to that place like that is literally advertised which

i appreciate it's like if it was just called shit kickers r us uh i wouldn't go like i think no that doesn't sound like a good night no it really doesn't so but i mean oddly enough urban tiger i'm just checking out their twitter account urban tiger of bristol and they're complaining about the uh bristol council because obviously strip clubs have a very bad reputation and a lot of people really really hate them which i can understand i wouldn't want to live across the road from a strip club no uh i wouldn't want to be a business located next one because even though i mean there it is something strange like sometimes i'm so horny it hurts and i think man i would love to live across the street from a strip club but but most of the other time i'm like i agree i i don't want i want to know if you could open the open one called actual milfs in your area that's what it's called

oh and you could just go and it's just a bunch of MILFs, horny MILFs, in a club located in one place. This is a good idea. Man. Why hasn't anybody done this yet? And they'll serve you a bacon sandwich or whatever you want. Well, I was trying to say, there was a Hooters

in Bristol, right? It opened when we came down in 2010. And it was there for about a couple of years. There was there was a controversy in bristol because a 12 year old boy was given having a birthday party at hooters what a fucking lad oh man can i say yeah and he was given a birthday cake shaped like naked breasts holy shit so uh that is i suppose quite a legendary time for him i'm sure he had no problems with it but certainly some other people did have problems with it and there were some complaints and it eventually shut down how the the puritans are given full voice the moment it comes to sex like for i don't know what it is like the only reason that any of us are here walking

about is because of sex. People think about it a lot. People do it as often as they can. People are obsessed with it. But God forbid you pay to look at an attractive person or order a birthday cake shaped like titties. Apparently that's a bridge too far. I don't know why.

I'd like to see some opinions on this from our listeners. I know we have a wide range of listeners. I want to know what's the fucking problem with the dream boys nightclub in bristol which is a bunch of lads stripped and oiled right very handsome muscly young men a question starting at the bristol hippodrome that's okay what um when a male tiger when a male strips and takes all of his kid off though like what's what's the expectation like because i mean if if you if you don't have a boner like that thing is just flopping around like you know what i mean yeah but they've got very big danguses i i get that but like what like as part of like when they have like some sort

of semi going as well they don't they have they fluff themselves a little bit you can't go on stage completely flopping you wouldn't what I was going to say. We've got HootCon. Okay, but then if you're up there with a full boner on stage and you're dancing and doing gymnastics, that's going to fucking hurt, right? You ever tried jumping up and down with a boner before? Yeah, it's not fun.

That kills. But it would be entertaining. It's not a raging boner. It's more of a kind of light a boner before? Yeah, it's not fun. That kills. But it would be entertaining. It's not a raging boner. It's more of a kind of light entertainment boner. Like one of those ones that just like it hurts. It's like about to explode. It's more of mildly interested rather than fully fascinated level. No, it's a genuine question, though.

Like, you know, like that subreddit, no stupid questions. I'd never really thought about it until right now. So I was just wondering. Well, I know that they do those parties at hen nights. that subreddit no stupid questions i'd never really thought about it until right now so i was just wondering i know that uh they do those parties uh at hen nights i don't know what they call hen nights in the u.s but imagine a bunch of uh women drunk and horny uh on a night out because one of them's getting married i don't know what you call it over there we call them hen nights yeah yeah and they go wild like they do almost it's all it's it's crazy everything right like dick straws and a dick hat and like yeah sunglasses and like oh my god absolutely you can buy all this stuff like

you go to a party shop and there's a whole section where everything is just shaped like dicks it's just dicks everything go for it go for it if that's your bag fucking go for it that sounds like a cracking night out if you're into dicks it's odd though like over here when they're all on a ferry going to france and you're sitting there with your kids and your kids are like what are they doing you're like oh well um penis timmy yeah that's a penis they're celebrating why is it 10 foot long daddy well because those ladies are off to have a party so they need a very large woman sucking a pint of vodka out of a penis when a woman gets to a certain age that's great but i mean it's like uh it's like a whole culture isn't it this is sort of uh the head night and the stag night do you reckon they're sort of

making up for do you reckon they're deliberately overdoing it to like um to make a point no i don't think so i think i think it's a it's a combination of things first of all it's seen as like tradition like the number of stag dues when i was in bournemouth you'd get stag dues all the time number of stages where they all dress up as superheroes or whatever and some of them are clearly not particularly into it some of the costumes they really go for it some of them just like chuck a fucking spider-man mask on they can't really be bothered it's like but they're not wearing like tuxedos covered in vaginas do you know what i mean no i think that there is obviously i don't know why but there is a difference i think it's basically because

there's nothing threatening uh to anyone about a bunch of women carrying around a giant inflatable dick like i don't think that's really that's not threatening and it still is pretty funny and i think that's part of it, right? Right. I mean, there's no threat there. No man is like, oh my God, a penis. And sort of, you know, these women are going to do anything to them. They're just sort of girls that are having a fucking blast.

And I think most blokes would just think it's hilarious. It doesn't feel threatening. Whereas I think if you were a woman alone in a pub and 10 blokes came in carrying a giant inflatable vagina and being extremely overtly sexual you might think this is making me super uncomfortable and i'm gonna leave and i would understand that completely so i think that is the fundamental difference i think them dressing as superheroes is probably actually a good way for them to because i think if you're dressed as a superhero you're more likely to be do good good you're more likely to try and save someone. Maybe.

Oh, man. But I was going to say that some of those parties, what Sips was saying, the erections at the strippers, some hen knights will hire a stripper who then will let them suck him off. Like, that's a thing. Really? And sometimes they will even have sex with the stripper. So they basically hire a male prostitute

to fuck a bunch of the women at these parties. What I'm saying is, if your girlfriend's going to a hen do, you know, you better hope she goes to Dreamboys and just watches some lad stripping and she's not noshing some lad off on a dance floor somewhere.

And this is why we shouldn't shut down Hooters. We need Hooters now. Because it prevents people going to Urban Tiger. We need Hooters. We need that middle ground, that safe. You don't think it's the gateway drug. You think it's more of a placating.

It's like a known safe. It's like the line. Hooters is the line. It's just safe enough and just creepy enough without crossing the line. And if we shut down the line, people will go over the border. They'll go to Canada and they'll bring the booze back. We can't do it. We need Hooters.

This is a rallying cry hey listen i had to sound your hoot when we were talking about hooters a half an hour ago and it turns out we're still talking about hooters a half an hour later um i was thinking you know the the hooters in bristol that closed down Imagine being a fly on the wall like, you know, 10 minutes before that place closes. You know, the guy just comes out of his – the manager comes out of his office. Oh, girls, all right. You know, bad news. We haven't had customers for weeks.

You know, we got bad rap in the papers and stuff. Oh, they're all standing around doing nothing because there's nothing to do and they're in their hot pants and stuff yeah sorry we're gonna have to close forever uh you guys are just gonna have to go find other jobs oh they're all slamming their fists on the tables and crying and shaking in the corner and stuff yeah sorry this branch of hooters is officially closed now we're gonna close our doors for the last time. Just close up and everybody has to go home. What a sad situation.

But would it be like other businesses? Like when you peer through, you know the way they put paper over the windows? You peer through the paper and you can see the destitute business. There's still some, like if it's a pub, there's still like a bar, there's a few glasses and tables and cloths knocking about. There'd be like hot pants hanging off things and bras and stuff like that. You think, oh's still like a bar there's a few glasses and tables and cloths knocking about there'd be like hot pants yeah things and bras and stuff like you think oh man

what happened in there who is this dead it's gone that's what happened it's such a happy place normally and then to think of it just like empty no no no more thrill or joy dusty bra left on the bar no more titty birthday cakes or if there is they're all moldy yeah terrible what would be your dream theme restaurant other than hooters obviously what would be one where you would think this is a great theme and i love it there let's just keep going oh oh god well it has to be there's so many cool where any fantasy like steampunk or like hobbit style pub jermaine cozy warm like music playing folk people around. You can get away with so much.

It could be dirty. So like the Prancing Pony in Lord of the Rings, that sort of theme. I like the aesthetics for sure. Like the Hearthstone Tavern or something like that, you know? Something oldie, worldie. Lots of oak. Lots of wood smells and stuff. Yeah. I like that.

I definitely like that. That's the perfect one, right? Yeah. But I like, I think sometimes people take it too far on the theme. Like, I stayed in a hotel in Japan that was themed up. It had themed rooms. Each room was a different theme. Right.

You know, and they were all fucking weird, though. Then too much. It was like, you know, Dracula's cave. I mean, like, I think they were all like movies though it was like jurassic park room and like the jaws room jerry they were all kind of just just too much and i think yeah you can't can't go overboard man it's like it's okay listen to this my dream my dream themed restaurant would be like uh like buckingham palace banquet hall okay you get in there you get like the big long table you get all like the like you know the places are served for like 25 people but it's just you and you get this big

feast and you get to eat and everything and you're you're just finishing up the last last morsel or whatever and then uh the waiter comes out and he's like, sir, your sledgehammer. And you're like, okay, now it's go time. And then you just get like two hours to just like smash the place up with a sledgehammer for as long. Like as much damage as you can do, it doesn't matter. You're just allowed to like smash up the table, throw all the plates against the wall. Yeah, just like the cabinets and shit. You can just like smash the crap out of those. Yeah, all the plates yeah just like the cabinets and shit you can just like smash the

crap out of the way yeah all the mirrors and stuff and like and optionally if you want you could like get them to play music while you're doing it and stuff too you know i didn't know you had such destructive you'd need like the goggles and like some uh some ear ear protectors and stuff too but like no i think it would be fun like what about god you are not jeff bezos okay what about we'd be losing country houses like a rate of yeah what about like a country house that you could just go in and smash to smithereens for as long as you want and then when you're done it just gets restored back to like how it was for the next person to come in and do it oh no that'd be fucking awesome right like i i think that'd be fun because like you never get to really do that and then if you do

smash up something in your own house you're like oh man like you know i gotta replace it or i you know i shouldn't have done that or whatever but if it's you know if it's like a place that's designed to do that just go for it right just go they do have these things in america these rooms like they're kind of like escape rooms except you can break everything in there yeah and there's like loads of like sugar glass bottles and plastic things and this old crappy china that they got from it's like a like a rock star fantasy you know like you hear like led zeppelin used to trash their hotel rooms and stuff like that i wouldn't want to like do that necessarily because it's not

really designed for that but if there was like a place I could go to that was designed for me to just like wreck it for an hour or whatever, I'd be up for it. Why not? It's supposed to be a thing that you do to get your anger out. But actually, it shows that I read a thing that showed that people who did that were more angry. I don't think it releases anything. You just come out enraged. Yeah, I think it just makes you a psychopath. They're psychopath training rooms it's just one of those things like i know it sounds weird and like i don't i hope you guys don't think of me differently or whatever but

on my bucket list of things to do before i depart this earth i would love to just throw a really big tv out of a window and watch it smash in the road i don't want to hurt anybody obviously i don't want anybody to be down there whatever but i just think it would be really satisfying just to watch like one of those big ass old tvs you know like not like a flat screen like a big zenith or something lots of glass like all over the place like and then if the slow motion guys could capture it all for me as well i'm sure this is you could probably find videos of this exact thing happening i know but i want to do it i don't want to i want to watch it after but i want to also do it you know like i see that's like my that's my hunting elephants in africa fantasy you know for me i want to just

chuck a big tv you know like even like five stories or something that would be perfect well i've got a themed restaurant to pitch to you lads. Let me know if you want to invest. It's a World War I themed trench experience restaurant. Oh, my God. So you have to do six months of basic training. No, there's no training. Do you get like a little kettle to boil your own sludge trench water? Absolutely. You get given a ration pack on entry.

You can choose. There's a vegetarian option and a vegan option obviously and then you've got the meat ones bully beef or some kind of pork and bean or whatever right and you gotta boil it in trench water yeah you have to make it all yourself but you've got to make it with the things that are in the trench you've got to start a fire with like some sticks or a body of a fallen comrade and in order to get people to clear out of the restaurant early it slowly fills with water and you might get trench foot

if you stay too long. That's how we have high turnover of guests coming through the trench theme. So you can't make it too comfortable. No. And there's loud noises. Bang!

Occasionally goes off. Some dust will come down from the ceiling. So you have a proper trench experience and at the end a series of whistles the waiters come around

and blow whistles. You have to get on the ladder and charge out of the restaurant over no man's land. What about this for a crossover though? We share the premises and then instead of you having to make your own bang noises the bang noises it turns out is people chucking TVs off a five-story

building landing on the roof. And it causes like a little bit of dust to come off the roof because of the impact of like just like world war one when they were throwing tvs and you should set this up in with a partnership on the border with a german restaurant okay and they do their side like their trenches you do your side like the british ones and you could you could you could experience what it's like for the other side and you can take pot shots at each other

and at the end of the meal everybody goes into No Man's Land and plays football just like they did on Christmas Day and

and just and the cherry on top all the waitresses are Hooters girls am I right guys am I right but the German Hooters girls

once had to wear that helmet with the spike on top. Yeah. Nothing else about the uniform changes, just the helmet with the spike on top. I love that. I love that.

No, I think that will just provide the reality-breaking thing that they need just to make sure they don't realise they actually are there for real. Man, oh man. Yeah, they'll keep it real. Holy crap. Well, there you go.

That is a Triforce episode. Thank you, everyone, for joining us. Please enjoy yourselves in this time of year. And we'll see you next week. See you later. Farewell. Goodbye.