Triforce! - Triforce! #198: Curved, Coiled, Spring or Round

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

Triforce! Episode 198! On the road again with Pyrion in sunny Gran Canaria! At risk of falling into the "90s woman appreciation podcast" we discuss femme fatales and Lewis is trying to figure out the degrees of curve in a banana. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. of you. Manage expenses with the new TD low rate visa card. With an 8.99% promotional interest rate for the first six months, the new TD low rate visa card can help find some balance. Learn more at td.com slash low rate card. Conditions apply. Limited time offer. Hello everyone and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Today, joined by Sips. Good morning. Hello. Hello.

And Periodflax. Why good morning? Well, good day, sir. Well, good morning to you. What a lovely day it is today to do a podcast. Ain't it just? Wow, I'm ready to go. Ain't it just? Hit me.

What's all the latest, hottest happenings around your area? Fill me in. I'm about 20 meters from the ocean. It's about 26, 27 degrees here in the Grand Canaria. And it's pretty beautiful. Oh, my God. Is that where you are? Yeah.

Nice, nice, nice. I didn't realize you were going to the Canary Islands. I'm jealous. My turn, my turn. Jealous AF. I'm about 20 meters from the ocean and it's about 13 degrees, cloudy, pretty gray out,

windy as usual, and I'm in Jersey. Yeah. I'm in jersey yeah uh i'm i'm in bristol i'm about 20 minutes from the ocean um still really an ocean though it's really shit it's cold actually you're close to hinkley hinkley c though right hinkley b hinkley hinkley something the big yeah yeah that's true we are yeah that's gotta be worth celebrating a little no you get some three-eyed fish and stuff well i think everyone's close to a nuclear power plant they just don't necessarily know there's lots of nuclear power plants around what are you powered by on jersey uh nuclear power that we import from france that's why the

whole the whole fishing uh row thing was row thing was such a big deal because France actually threatened to cut the power supply to Jersey and 80% of Jersey's power is imported from France. So it would have been a big one for sure. So PFLAX is slapping sun cream on his head and going out into the wonderful weather. How long have you been there? Have you just been there at the weekend?

Let me think, we got here on Saturday. So yesterday was our first full day. And now, obviously, I mean, Mrs. F and the kids have gone for a walk while we're doing the podcast here. Nice, nice.

You're going to owe her a couple of mojitos later, I guess. I know I can tell that you've got a smile on your face, that the mood has just lifted, that you're happier. And I'm getting some additional smile just from that. I'm going to be busy all day, guys. It's a day-long podcast.

You've got Dota on your laptop, I take it? I do, but I can't really play Dota on the laptop. It's so bad. I was just getting back into it when i uh when i was back after ti because i only really managed one or two games over that two weeks so i was kind of rusty even worse than usual and i got got back i was just getting settled again um and then we were straight off again that that weekend because it was mrs f's birthday last weekend so to celebrate we uh we went away but let me tell you something.

At the airport, going through the bag check where you put it on the little conveyor belt and everything. And one of the security guards said to me, off anyway nice?

And I thought, oh, that's weird. He's making conversation. I said, I was just off to the Canary Islands. He goes, oh, I have a lovely time. He goes,

other than that, everything all right? I was like, yeah. He goes, oh, by the way, I have a tiny penis. Oh oh no wow that is something eh yeah he knew before we did where you were going i was just expecting him to go uh-huh try for spodcasting full body cavity here please yeah just send me off to some some room imagine he's

giving you the full the full cavity search and he's like sir it appears that you have a smaller penis than mine if you know what i mean wink wink he's now you do you the whole time and then you're like is that a trifles reference or is that just it's just being more you're just doing a really good job down there uh searching my down there so yeah I'm jealous Craig Clare isn't the one that had the volcano Las Palmas yeah that's over to the

to the west I was hoping you see the plume not not from the ground here no but they obviously these are all volcanic it's a volcanic up a couple ago so we're gonna go up the volcano but obviously these are all volcanic it's a volcanic archipelago so we're going to go up the volcano tomorrow and have a look, it's dormant as far

as I know, or at the very least What's it called? Is it called Tidi? Mount Tidi? It's a really tall one isn't it? I don't know, it's pretty big It's called Kilimanjaro I think Do they have an observatory on one of them?

I can't remember. Yeah, there is an observatory here. I saw it on the map, but I don't know if that's on the caldera of the volcano or not. It might well be active. But as I understand it, there's some... I think they were all pretty active. Yeah, but there's some shelf of rock attached to Las Palmas, I think.

Or comments to correct me. but there'll be some big explosion and that thing will fall into the sea at some point and cause a massive earthquake so i'm hoping that doesn't happen this week no yeah you can drive right up to the top of the volcano and walk around it um but i kind of scared my kids into not wanting to go hiking at all possibly ever by telling them about that that's gotta be a good thing how did you do it i don't like hiking well there was this new story recently about this family i think it was in california i think it was in california could be wrong and uh it was a husband and his wife and their daughter and their

dog i think and they went off strolling about like idiots on a hot day with insufficient water and they all died they found them close together and they'd all died of extreme heat and dehydration I was trying to explain to my daughter how dangerous it is when people just go off wandering about with like a fucking glass of water's worth of water thinking it'll be fine and how nature is actually not gonna not gonna fuck about and if you, I think in like 40 degree temperature or 35 degree temperature, you lose about a litre of water an hour. So you need to keep drinking that much,

like a litre an hour, I think it is. I remember my Ray Mears, you've got to drink that much to stay just level. Yeah, that was in Dune as well. I haven't seen the new one. Oh, is it? I'm imagining the people hiking are just idiots wearing their still suits they need the still suits yeah i liked it it was quite good actually right it was i'm obviously

very familiar with dune i read the book when i was a kid i've read it relatively recently i like the universe and the old film was just wacky i never i never saw the old film i never read the book my introduction to dune and all i know about dune is the rts game from like the june 2000 the early 90s or whatever it's great game yeah i mean everything that's come since june's a bit dated in a sense because it was such a pivotal iconic piece of work that it's inspired everything that came since. You know, the Emperor is like the one from 40K and his Sardaukar are the Space Marines and the Navigators are kind of like similar to Space Marines.

But every other sci-fi universe has picked a little bit of Dune for themselves and used it. The Great Houses and all these things. So it's a very familiar sci-fi world, but still very cool. And great visuals um good mood good movie um it's obviously part one which they sort of don't advertise in the trailers or it's not really i didn't really realize it was only the first half of the book right so i sort of it got to a point where someone said this this is only the beginning. And I was like, right, that's the last line. If that's not the last line of the movie,

then I'm a monkey's uncle. And it went for like a couple more minutes and it was the last line of the movie. So I was like, yeah, that's the end of part one, isn't it? I mean, honestly, I love the original film, the David Lynch one was a classic, a cult classic, I think, because for a start it's David Lynch. So, you know, it's going to I think, because for a start, it's David Lynch. So, you know, it's going to be very, have some original ideas.

It's going to be bonkers and it's going to have great, great actors and all the rest of it. And I think it was great. And I read the book and then I saw the film and I was like, it obviously doesn't stay particularly true to the book quite a lot of the time. There's a whole bunch of stuff with the, like the sound gun that they have. That's not in the book quite a lot of the time um there's a whole bunch of stuff with the like the sound gun that they have that's not in the book um the weirding modules and all this kind of stuff that's not in the book uh there's a whole bunch of stuff that isn't in there like for some reason the Harkonnens make Thufa Hawat milk a small cat and it's got a rat strapped to it I mean that's just pure David Lynch bonkersness the heart plugs I don't remember those from the book.

All kinds of things like that. So I love the fact that David Lynch took it and wasn't afraid to chuck in his own bonkers ideas. And I just think it's fantastic, even if the problem is telling us the book like June. Honestly, I'm not being funny, but that era, I don't think audiences were ready for that kind of film. I think if you look at the other films that came out around that time especially big blockbusters they were what year did it come out 83 something like that i'll look it up anyway

i think it was um 84 83 83 84 yeah i mean the original ghostbusters came out in like 84 right yeah so it was 1984 yeah um a lot of the films that came out in 1984 uh i don't think were particularly uh let's have a look 1984 movies uh 1984 in film so beverly hills cop was oh yeah notable films released in 1984 you had uh 1984 of course they released that in 1984 uh 2010 the sequel to 2001, which was pretty, pretty out there. But it was not particularly sci-fi. It was a bit, if you watch it, it's okay. The Bounty with Mel Gibson, Anthony Hopkins, Lawrence Olivia, Daniel Day-Lewis, Liam Neeson.

That was a great movie. There were a lot of sort of odd films that came out that year. It was a bit weird. When did like Lethal Weapon and the first Lethal Weapon and like Predator and the first Terminator and all those? I want to say that they were, I mean, the first Terminator I think was 82. Yeah. So the first Terminator was not, Terminator 2 was 1991. So let's look at the Terminator film series. The first one, I will be with you in a moment i

love that i love that name like what was the name of a movie the terminator so that also came out in 1984 all right but the sort of sci-fi the sort of highest sci-fi thing about that was um essentially the time travel element right but it's not like it's not like Dune, which is bonkers. I just don't think an audience... I mean, if you think about Inception, Inception was quite a high concept film. It didn't really explain itself all the way through. No.

And it was a big hit. And I think modern audiences are a bit more ready to accept those kind of very, very high concept movies, whereas I think back in the 80s, perhaps we weren't. Like the Sixth Sense, when you find out that Bruce Willis was all along, he could see dead people. Yeah. I wouldn't call that a particularly high concept movie, but sure.

No, it's just an example, you know. It's a poor one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just using it as a little example. Well, I think that, well, I mean, some of the flipping weird films I've seen lately have been, oh my God, very high concept and bad. Though, in fact, I don't really want my movies to be like an artistic fucking wankathon.

I'm quite happy with them being a rollercoaster. Do you know what I mean? I'm like the complete opposite. I wholeheartedly accept a wankathon. Like, in fact, that's what I go for. Give us an example. Well, Big Wankin' Cox 4 was probably the best movie I've seen this year so far. Big throbbing, veiny, oily penises was a smash hit for sure.

That's a nice one too i love that anyway there are always people out in the hot rods 69 don't prepare themselves for properly you know especially in america america seems seems so safe right especially like california but actually you know if it's like 42 degrees i disagree i don't think california that's is that safe i i actually think a lot of sort of the more remote parts of the u.s and canada are pretty dangerous if you if you're not prepared for it like not just hydration and stuff but these are vast areas of sort of like um untouched wildlife and stuff right so you you you will happen across bears and like coyotes and and whatever while you're out there right and if you don't if you're not sure like how to be around them or or deal with them or whatever then you know you could you could get into into some trouble

for sure like big there's like big in california especially isn't there like big wild cats and stuff like um out out in the uh there's a lot of uh i mean all over america even though most states are pretty wild right it's like so much uh space i think especially if you go if you look at california an awful lot of it is just mountains and and hills and uh extreme temperatures so people i don't know who the fuck thinks of walking out into that kind of heat is a good idea i don't i don't know who the fuck thinks of walking out into that kind of heat is a good idea i don't i don't understand it was 42.8 degrees oh that's too hot it's way too hot i mean like they had a one-year-old child oh by the way yeah that's i mean that is a fucking tragedy but at the same time tragedy get your fucking head out of your ass and please don't

do stupid shit like that in the world what are you thinking i guarantee you anyone who knows what they're doing and there are a lot of americans because it's a very wild country a lot of americans really take it very seriously the whole hiking and survival stuff i bet they're appalled at the tragedy but they're also thinking what the fuck are you doing don't let the side down come on we're better than that i think it's so easy though to slip into that i mean the thing like, the world is pretty idiot-proofed. And, you know, I found this going to Japan and Sweden and places like this. Like, I've turned up there and I can't figure out, I can't talk the language, I can't get a ticket, I haven't got anything prepared.

And yet I still, there's always someone there who's like, do you need help? Are you an idiot? Oh, in a big city, always there will be, right? Like, they're used to lots of idiots arriving right so they well you think big big cities are welcoming to idiots and will help they're not welcoming to idiots but they're easily they're easier for idiots to navigate i think oh cities i thought you meant cities no no i'm not talking about people in cities i think just cities in general too though i think generally that too like you you think that it's good everyone's gonna be a bastard but actually i think generally people are helpful nice people

there's always going to be helpful nice people around there you know just because you're not i'm just i know i i help people out a lot people are always asking me for directions because i look old enough that i'll know things and i clearly i give off the vibe of a local because i move at pace and i clearly know where i'm going so a lot of people will say excuse me these trends you just say yeah where are you going and then you give them a clue even though there's a fucking huge man oh man well i'm not talking about the people who want you to do their work for them no but those people i in my experience are the worst though because and again just from my experience but i find like nine times out of ten if somebody asks

you for directions somewhere they're not listening to the answer right like really yeah i'm being like pretty clear and concise with my instructions like i know my way around especially like where i live and stuff and i'm like you know keep going straight down this road you'll see like this this type of building oh but that's all they want to left here or whatever and they're like just straight down this road and just keep going straight no no when you get to the building you need to turn left they're just like not listening at all you know that's right all they wanted was that first sentence because then they're gonna ask someone else when they get to get further down i wonder maybe if i wonder if maybe they're just like uh holding out like hoping that you'll just offer to take them or just phone them a taxi or something because like they're just not listening to the explanation like i find this

happens a lot actually i have noticed that a couple times once once you've told them the first sentence they're done they don't want any more that's enough for them yeah um yeah and they their eyes glaze over and you can tell they're not interested brain is just melting out of their ears because you've you've thrown in a left a left left at a landmark building like it's not that fucking hard like geez and in the day and age where you have a phone with a map on it like that you can just type in like i'm lost and it'll it'll pretty much tell you where to go like come on that's true that hard geez yeah it's weird that people do still ask me for direction they usually ask me for directions with a phone in their hand yeah as well yeah and then that causes me to get my phone out and then we're both like comparing

our phones so we're like no you're here you're here do you mean it's like oh yeah but you're where the dot is you know it's like oh yeah oh god you never get people asking for to go to a specific place though right they're always like a bit sort of um withholding about where exactly they're going right because i guess most of them are just like they want to come up to you they want to say hey how do i get to hooters but you know they don't want to say that they don't want to be seen as the person who's asking for directions to hooters so they're like hey do you know where um smith street is like it just you know like it's whereas. Whereas if they said the dentist, you would be like, oh, there's

some dentists over there. Are these the ones showing? Yeah. They don't want to tell you that much. They'd rather just give... I get it. It's a stranger. You don't want to tell them. This is hard coded in not to talk to strangers. Especially about where you're

going. Where'sistol colonoscopy lab yeah it's not i suppose there is some reasons why they may want to tell you but no uh hiking up uh mount td apparently i i was aware of this it's freezing cold up there because it's actually it drops to like five degrees it's five degrees there at the moment according to google minus five degrees at the moment according according to Google on Mount Titi. Light freezing rain, it says. So you might have to wear your jacket, P-Flat. Yeah, I know.

And you might, in fact, freeze to death instead of boil to death. The lady that manages the house we're staying in, it's like an Airbnb. So the guy who owns it just got a local german lady to to run the place right have you she said have you checked for cameras and like the alarm clocks and the and no because i'm not insane fire alarm and stuff like that she she uh she's gonna film his bald head snoring like go for it well word of advice flax before you go to bed every night carry on i'll just you ask a question i begin to answer it and sorry sorry okay you have your one of your usual paranoid rants about

other people no i was just no i was just gonna say get in there before they do and every night before you go to bed just spread your cheeks and um and direct your gaping asshole directly at like the fire alarm in the bedroom just for like five minutes or whatever and then go to sleep that's all i was gonna say why that's for the camera why else just why do you constantly that's why they're filming right people that come to your door to kill you but if you go anywhere they're trying to film you like because i read jersey no i read don't live in the middle of the war the problem is is i read the news sometimes i watched that

youtube video as well about the guy the cameras that you could see in like the the fire alarms yeah yeah that fucking was crazy that was crazy uh anyway i'm not being paranoid i was just no no i was just joking around. Anyway, carry on. P-flex. Airbnb. I've forgotten now what... You're living there. You're staying there.

The lady said it was cold. Oh, that's right. So she said that it can be... If it's like 26 degrees where we are here, it can be as cold as four or five degrees at the top because it's that high up. But oddly enough, I was expecting the route up there to be like,

I don't know if you've ever been to Greece or somewhere mountainous like that. All the roads are like spaghetti that's been cooked and then spilled on the floor. And it's like winds unbelievably, very perilously close to clifftops and mountaintops. And I was really worried about driving up there. But I've looked and it's all pretty snazzy roads. It's one road. You just take one looked and it's all pretty snazzy roads. It's one road. You just take one road and it's got one twisty bit.

I was like, how have they achieved this? So I don't know what they've done, but the roads in Gran Canaria are actually top notch there. So we should be all right. Was it like, because sometimes they have like, they get the military to build these roads for observatories out in the middle of nowhere. I seem to recall that was done in

new zealand or somewhere like i don't know like so yeah they i think it might have been part of the observatory funding to get these things you know because they needed to get the materials up there and stuff and then it gives them like this kind of it's like because all of the grand all the all the canary islands are basically a volcano yeah Yeah. And so the road always runs in a ring around the coast. And that's where all the tourist stuff is. But then in the middle, there's usually one road that cuts across the middle, but it goes up really fucking high.

So it's actually just far quicker to go around the coast on like the motorway. Maybe. Plus the climate is like, it's just, it's amazing that it drops 20 degrees in like a 10 minute car ride. It's pretty crazy.

The higher up you go, right? Like it'll just, it'll just get, it'll start to get colder and colder. But what is the, what is the rate at which altitude affects temperature? Like, is it 100 meters equals one degree?

Oh, it's a really simple equation, actually. It's E equalsc squared down to the power of um two i don't know i have no idea but uh it it is just the way it goes like um like i remember when i was a kid we went we went we drove from um from coast to coast canada starting the east and ended up in the west we had to drive through the rocky mountains and some of them the roads go like up not to the very top of the mountain but like you know they instead of tunneling through every goddamn mountain because there's like a million of them you know the roads are built sort of like alongside the mountains or whatever you end up driving like to higher

altitudes and sometimes you're driving there's just like clouds going by your car and stuff it's pretty cool so it's 1 000 meters every every 1 000 meters the temperature goes down by six and a half degrees that's the standard that's the average like difference that's pretty insane i mean and then they're saying like global warming but it's like cold up there you know you know yeah explain that one does that mean if you like dug out a big trench okay like a thousand meters deep does it go up six degrees yeah i mean because i know that when no no it's cold underground have you ever lived in a basement before it's like when they go down like with the drills and things like that it gets hotter doesn't it i'm pretty sure well yeah after a certain point but it gets cold first right

like the i don't know i mean if you're talking about it just being damp underground no like okay well i don't know lewis i never took you but like you know the the german underground hospital um over here the one that's oh yeah it's cold as shit every time we go to jersey you tell me about this tourist attraction you're like we're not gonna go there ah i wait we can go next time you come over we'll go no no no you seem so unenthusiastic about it every time you tell me many times you're like uh but how far underground is it a thousand meters underground oh no it's not it's like because i think if you went a thousand meters underground it would get hotter right like i assume oh yeah a thousand meters for sure that's really deep though like that's yeah you like i don't know how does it work if how does it work when you go deep underground?

Would your ears pop the same as they would if you're going down? Yeah. They're saying, this is geologists calculate, that for every mile you dig beneath the Earth's surface, the temperature rises by 15 degrees Fahrenheit. I don't know what that is in centigrade. It's like three degrees or something. And the pressure increases simultaneously at a rate of about 7 300 pounds per square inch holy so the pressure starts to get pretty pretty pretty peppy what what point

do you think you start looking like um when arnold schwarzenegger's mask comes off when he tumbles down the hill in total recall outside in mars and his eyes are like bulging out like what point what what point is the pressure so high that your eyes would start to threaten to like leave their softness? Well, I think that they would, the pressure would be on the outside. So your eyes wouldn't be pushing out.

Oh, they'd be pushing in. They'd be sucked in. They'd be getting sucked in. You'd be able to see the inside of your own skull after two miles, I guess. Oh my God. You'd make the same noise i love the eye popping see one of my favorites because the dummy that they had like the the prosthetic for arnie really made the exact right arnie face of him going

i haven't i haven't seen the reboot but from what I heard of the reboot, they've cut out all the stuff that made the original so good. Yeah, three titties. They didn't get it. The guy with the weird arm. Yeah, yeah. They just missed it completely. I think modern filmmakers would look at it and think, oh, this is too schlocky and junky.

Yeah, but that was what was great about it. That's what made it ridiculously fun was Verhoeven's, how he would have a woman with sweet tits The scene at the end when the dude when the dude's arms get ripped off on the elevator

I mean that was awesome That was Michael Ironside's arms That's right Yeah Both of his arms Yeah

Ripped right off Sharon Stone was in the original too Yeah she was Oh my god She was so fucking hot in that She still looks great

by the way Sharon Stone Yeah I know I know we always talk about was so fucking hot in that she still looks great by the way sharon stone yeah i know we always talk about women that were hot in the 90s that are still somehow that's another one for you the 90s women appreciation part of sharon stone is something else my client side though who do you think is a modern day sharon stone now like i'd say that that um the one that plays uh the one that played ta Harding in I, Tonya and she was in Wolf of Wall Street. Oh, Margot Robbie? Yeah, yeah.

She's got to be like this generation's Sharon Stone, right? I mean if you think about Sharon Stone, I think that Total Recall was one of her earlier roles. Because then of course she became the sort of 90s femme fat Total Recall was one of her earlier roles. Because then, of course, she became the sort of 90s femme fatale. She was in quite a few films. Well, because of basic instinct, right? Yeah, because of basic instinct. So she became this kind of hot baddie.

You know, you definitely wanted her, but you also thought she's probably going to kill me. But, you know, the deal was, it's worth it. You know, so fair play um i mean she tries to kill her she was negative yeah definitely a baddie in basic instinct yeah and uh she's that michael douglas in basic instinct you bet your balls it was man do you know him and uh catherine zeta jones are still married yeah and uh their kids are like in their 20s now and stuff it's crazy god that's nuts i think think, I think it's, um,

the woman from Gone Girl. What's her name? Rosamund Pike. What about Charlize Theron? Or is she like, she like a pre, like a previous generations Sharon? She's a bit older now.

She's a femme fatale. I don't know. I don't know. She, she, she's, um. Man,

she was so good in that, uh, was it Monster? Yeah. The one about the, uh, the, the,

the, the Florida serial killer. Yeah the the the florida serial killer the woman serial killer holy crap she she played that role like insanely good because there's like interviews with that woman and stuff as well and i think she must have studied them or whatever but she she did such a good job it's crazy so she was in total recall she was the bad she was a baddie in that who tried to kill fucking why am i struggling i'm sorry i've got holiday brain and then she was basically femfatale then sliver sliver yeah that was the one with the relating back to the the the whole airbnb cameras thing sliver was was the landlord with all the

computers the tv screens and cameras all over right right? That was actually William Baldwin and Tom Berringer. Oh, my God. Did you guys hear about Alec Baldwin? Yeah, that was terrible. Speaking of Baldwin, that's fucking nuts, eh? And then she was in Intersection as a woman who entices a bomb expert she's involved with into destroying the criminal gang that killed her family. So she's another femme fatale there.

I don't know of any other. Oh, and in Casino, she was kind of a bad bitch. Oh, she was really good in Casino. Holy crap. Yeah, she was great. She was awesome. I think that was probably her best performance in all honesty. Yeah.

But yeah, so it's interesting. I don't know if there are women that consistently play the hot bad guy the same way that they're – you know what? I thought Cate Blanchett can do a good baddie, but I'd never think of her as a femme fatale. She was also... She's a fantastic actor. She's great. Actor, actress. Yeah, actor, I think. Actor now, right?

What's that? Oh, my God. What's that woman's name? She looks weird and quite severe. Oh, yeah. Tilda Swinton. Judy Dead. Sigourney Weaver.

Tilda Swinton. Obviously, she's a pretty serious bad guy woman. But she's not. She plays too many different things. Are you talking about Sigourney Weaver? No, she's not she plays too many different things are you talking about some weaver no she's not someone someone much more she's a good guy man she i was i watched ghostbusters one and two with my son the other day because we were uh we were we were home with the baby while my wife and my daughter went uh to town to do stuff or whatever so we're like because my daughter's too young and she finds

ghostbusters scary so it was like a perfect opportunity for like the guys and the baby to watch ghostbusters one and two because it's gonna be halloween soon man those are those movies are fantastic god like you like i know i've seen them a million times not so much too but the first one for sure and um every time i watch it i'm it just blows my mind like like how uh creative it was and and just just just how how good of a movie it was it still holds up like it's still really good like just a just a really good movie like for families and kids and stuff you know i wonder if this is classic i wonder if the death of the femme fatale trope is because i think women tend to be cast in different roles nowadays,

especially in the last few years, where if you think about the films where femme fatales were the most popular, the old sort of noir films was very much that women were generally either sort of flappy airheads or evil. So they were like either this sort of idea that sex and sexiness in women was naturally a bad guy trait. Whereas nowadays, because of women being liberated sexually and being able to play a more wider variety of roles, you don't get the woman as the bad guy in that kind of femme fatale way. I mean, I'll be honest with you. Cate Blanchett in Thor Ragnararok the one where she's the badass hella his sister uh i would have fucking done whatever she told me i've been told that it's amazing but i have not seen it it's very good so she turns up

she kills odin and then she fucking i think she smashes thor's hammer up she's kind of a bitch to be honest with you. She turns up at Asgard, kills a bunch of lads there, and then enslaves one guy. And I was like, I would be that guy. Like the guy who she says, you, peasant, you're going to work for me now, and you'll get maybe a flash of leg now.

And then I'll be like, absolutely, Queen Hela, I am in your care now. Do as you will. I'd be useless in these movies. You'd just be the guy who's, you'd be the extra who gets his neck snapped by the woman's thighs or whatever. Yeah, but he'd go out with a smile

on his face. That's what I'm saying. It would be a worthy end. I'd be like, yes, master. Did you guys ever watch that show American Gods? No. I watched like an episode or two and I think it was like the second episode there was a woman who was a god and guys ever watch that show american gods no i watched like an episode or two and there i think it was like the second episode there was a woman who was a god and um she but she was like like a seducing god and she devoured a man through her vagina not not a great way to go honestly i don't

mind my neck being snapped by like a pair of very uh thunderous thighs but like i don't want to be eaten uh devoured whole like sarlacc pit style yeah no that's not cool like that's not because you've got long enough to think about it and think well then maybe not you know can i change my mind please i just don't want to be devoured by anything like if you're a small rodent and you get swallowed whole by a snake i mean that's got to be pretty scary stuff right like you're just gonna well i think that was because she was the spider god right and the whole thing is they they devour their mate or whatever don't they remember oh i guess so yeah but also they were like she he was like i didn't watch the whole thing so well they're all gods

aren't they the idea is that they're all that she's that she's sort of i don't think she's a nancy actually she's some she's actually not i don't think she's a nancy actually she's some she's actually not spider-man maybe she's maybe not spider-man at all maybe that's a different guy i did watch it but it's a weird one i still liked i still liked american gods for for for a while it was it held my attention i i'm not a big fan honestly of it i i feel like some people it feels to me a little bit just got a thing for vaginal devouring yeah i don't know like there's lots of uh a lot from what i could tell from watching an episode or two there was lots of lots of lots of like like sexual themes and stuff right

yeah well it's fine um i'm actually i thought it was actually better than the book um which i didn't like at all i'm not i feel like i i've slowly grown off neil gaiman generally from what i mean sandman was the comics i read when i was a kid it was great but overall i'm just a bit like i'm not just not a fan of all the fairies and the the worlds that he creates they're all so woolly and don't seem to have any rules. They're all magic-y, fancy, wanky, fanky fairies all floating about, doing weird stuff in different dimensions, going through doors into weird places. There's some Prince of the Fairies in there. Lewis, I am with you.

I've never really been a big Neil Gaiman fan for that exact reason. I just found it a bit, you know, come on. It's just, give me a break. That's how I feel about it. I get that when you're an author, you have to leave things open, right? But it feels like if you leave everything too open, you just end up with nothing.

Nothing surprising because you don't really understand or appreciate the world you're in. I just feel like, yeah, when you don't have any rules, things don't make sense and it's frustrating, you know? Yep. Just stick to the rules, man. Make some rules. Yeah, make up some rules and follow the rules.

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy theth best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario.

Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Listen, I got a product recommendation for you guys i know this isn't normally a thing that happens but man my whole family is full of cold like even the baby uh last night the baby's trying to sleep and she's just like you can hear she's just like full of snot she can't breathe properly it's like she's okay but it's just she's never had a cold before right so she's just like doesn't really know what to do but listen i got some uh i got some uh some

tissues from huetros and they are uh linen fresh tissues okay and man they smell like fresh clean washing it's insane like the smell is so Like, it's not overpowering either. It's like a really sort of, like, you know, like an airing cupboard smell, you know? There's some unusual product placement for this episode. And the tissues are so soft, too, on my nose. Like, my nose is red raw because I'm blowing it all the time. I have to get me some. You've got to try some of these.

Like, just the smell. Like, man, it'll teleport you back to like being a kid you know like when you were a kid your mom had the towels in the dryer and you and and she would like be like surprise here's some hot towels and like wrap you in it and would smell all clean and stuff and be warm this is what these tissues are like it's fantastic it's really good wow no i'm that's a i got any more recommendations for things lately that you've enjoyed? Go for it. No, that's about it, honestly.

I had some Japanese curry bread. Right. It was made by a friend of mine. Yeah. It was basically just bread with curry sauce in it. And I was very impressed. I thought it was fine. Good.

I would give it a 7 out of 10. Okay. Well, listen, these tissues, I'm going to give them a 9 out of 10 okay well listen uh these tissues i'm gonna i'm gonna give them uh 9 out of 10 oh yeah oh is this only really good stuff let me try to think um i played a board game yesterday which i liked called wavelength it's quite a cool board game i think it was called wavelength yeah so there's like this rotating dial. You can look it up, right? What's it called? Wavelength.

Where basically there's sort of like a dial, like a left and right dial. And you see it's like, it might be like a third of the way along the dial, right? Right. And then you get a clue, which is like more smelly or less smelly. Oh, I see.

And then you have to pick something that's how i find my underwear along the dial right so that would be a great clue if you were playing it with your wife you know because she'd know exactly how well she'd think smelly you're i think she would think the kids because one of the kids is definitely smellier than the other really yeah the older one is much smellier than the younger one. Like farting or just general? No, it's just teenager smell. Oh, of course. So basically imagine it was like two-thirds or three-thirds along the dial

or maybe like four-fifths away along the dial. You would say one of the other kids' names and then underwear, and then that would let your wife know exactly how smelly the dial is. And then she'd turn it to the dial, and then the other team get a chance to steal. I see, I see. Yeah. It's a good game.

Actually, it's got lots of these little clues about, you know, is it more blue or more green? And you have to like pick something called like milk. We had this like half an hour argument about how curvy

we all thought bananas were. It sounds like a very middle class thing. Right. But it was a nice time. I had a very nice time playing this game. How curvy do you think a banana is? On a scale of two, straight or curvy?

Not all bananas are created equal, I would say. Some are curvier than others. Let's say, I would say the maximum curve for a banana, the maximum, would still not be as much as a boomerang. Yeah, you're right. I didn't even think of a boomerang um yeah yeah you're right i didn't even think of a boomerang when i was thinking of curvy things but i'd say a boomerang was pretty much in the middle of curvy and straight right it doesn't have like it's got like a triangular curve though a boomerang right like it's not like it's an elegant curve yeah but it's not more than it's

not more than 45 degrees i think if i'm thinking about a boomerang now it's not more than 45 degrees, I think. If I'm thinking about a boomerang now, it's not quite 45 degrees. It's just off that. So I would say it's rare that you see a banana that's like bent at the waist, like an old man looking for change. It's more like just an old man looking long. The curve will start at the tips on a banana for sure, right? You see, I'm with you on all of this. But I think a lot of people

would just say a banana is automatically quite curvy when they think about it and they're like oh they're not that curvy they're not that curvy they're not as curvy as you think there's definitely curvier fruit out there i'd say like what yeah i'm trying to think now what well let's have a look fruit images curvy curvy fruit i mean look at bananas barely curved at all really it's quite hard to think about things that are curved i mean obviously we've spoken about 90s women here for extensively you know and i might say pamela anderson that would be that would be quite far along the curve scale i mean that would be i would like to change my answer to say that the banana is the curviest fruit certainly that's in wide consumption right but still is not that greatly curved compared to other

curved objects i mean how curved does it need to be though like what we're not it doesn't it doesn't need to break any records you well you're given an amount on a scale and you have to find something that represents that amount of curviness you know it's often very you have to be very precise like boomerang like

like what's four tenths curviness though sorry what's less curvy than a boomerang what would you describe as a ten out of ten curviness

like a pig's tail or like a spring well that's not curvy that's curly that's poiled yeah I mean essentially a curve has to imply that's not curvy. That's curly. That's poiled. Yeah. I mean, essentially, a curve has to imply

that it still maintains its shape. Fine, an orange. An orange is the curviest fruit. No, that's round. That's not the same thing at all. What is a curve, then? A curve is a line that is not straight.

Well, if the show I'm watching is to be believed, apparently Bill Clinton's penis is quite curvy. A curve is a line that is not straight and at no point does any part of the line touch any other part of the line because that would be curly curvy would be curved without actually crossing like a curve that's my definition anyway well this is this is why it's such a good board game i really i really enjoyed these

we just solved it we saw we just we just solved your whole stupid i'm still asking you what is the most curvy thing and also what is what is less curvy than a boomerang the most curvy than a banana what was it what what woman was it that had like uh she was like considered to have like the perfect curve marilyn monroe sure no it was more recently it was like Kelly Brook, I think, or something. Oh, Kelly Brook. Now you're talking. Right.

Yeah, there we go. Slightly more recent reference for you. There you go. And even then, that's like 20 years old. Yeah, I believe she's in her 40s now. But she had like, apparently at the time, I don't know if this still holds true, but scientifically she had the perfect female body

in terms of no i'll be honest with you it certainly passed all of my tests i think i might have read that in nuts magazine though if you remember that one so i mean take it with a pinch of salt it was a scientific study by nuts magazine the scientists are not yeah the publication no longer in circulation due to uh i think legally they're not even allowed to make magazines like that anymore i don't think i don't think they are why wouldn't they we decided this we worked this out last week we decided that who is was fine because it stopped people from going to the more serious place it's just a gateway to get to the more serious places so you go to Hooters a couple of times,

then you're like, man, I need a blow big time. Like I'm going, it's time to go get a massage or something with a happy ending. You know, like it's just a gateway. You think it's a gateway? I thought we decided it was fine. I thought we decided it was like a safe. Nah, I thought about it more recently.

Like I can't stop thinking about it, in fact, because we spoke about it for about an hour last week. There were a few what they call men's magazines. There was obviously a magazine called Buck, which I'd never heard of. No, I'd never heard of Buck. No, I never saw it. Not that Zoo were the ones I remember the most.

There was Sword, which was a men's magazine that went in 2004 and 2007. Sorted. Magnate. Magnate, a men's lifestyle magazine. I love the idea that the guys making this magazine, this is for men who are aiming to be magnates. They want to be a magnate of something. So they would read a magazine to achieve that goal. They would read a magazine.

A magnate. A magnate. A magnate magazine. You had all the glamour models that were the pinups for like the poster girls for those magazines. Indeed. Remember like Lucy Pinder. Remember Lucy Pinder? Lucy Pinder. Oh, man.

Zoo magazine. Yeah, yeah. Nuts magazine. Yeah. Sorted magazine. Sorted, I think. Four Men magazine. that's an italian fhm fhm i never uh i never actually bought any of these magazines they just happened to be around

like in places i worked and stuff somehow like they were always like somebody had one on their desk or something yeah i don't i don't understand how they got away with it like it's just like it's the one of the most inappropriate things you could have on your desk, clearly. But there you go. Well, let's be honest. Why did they die off? The answer is you can just look for pictures of tits

on the internet much easier these days. That's it. That's true, yeah. Yeah, I guess it was culture though. You know, people who sort of bought FHM, you know, it's full of stuff like watch reviews and, you know, things like that stuff like watch reviews and you know things like that i mean it was all macho your guide to cufflinks and like shit like that you know

is one pocket square enough for the modern man or should he have a wardrobe of pocket squares our experts a lot of men's grooming stuff too right like eyebrow balm and stuff like that that was what it was like yeah it was like modern metrosexual men rather than like posh men i think it's straight away from the idea that you should wear a suit and stuff and it was more i don't know they were just they wanted you to wear a suit but not with a tie and with a couple of buttons undone and then like uh you know just like a pair of a pair of converse with your suit as well. Like, it's just, yeah.

I mean, let's be honest. It was a little bit of laddy, the new lad sort of culture, though. Like, it was a middle-classy kind of, I don't know, it was a bit laddy, right? Like, it wasn't clean. It was quite estuary English kind of, you know, modernon men it was working in the city lots of students lots of students i think there were there were different tiers you had nuts and zoo and those were for students and young lads then you know you graduated things like esquire and gq and stuff like that where suits was a big thing because now yeah you've started a job but you still want to look

good and you know the idea of men looking after their uh their grooming and stuff like that what's beyond that though men's health and you always have those people yeah then you start with the gym on the front page yeah that doesn't seem healthy to me men's fashion nowadays is wank i was complaining about this i think on twitter in my mind i've been about it on a previous fucking episode of this stupid podcast the color schemes for men's clothing is is dead it's black gray blue brown oh i don't know i think if you're wealthy though you and you have like the penny loafers and the fucking uh pink pink uh jeans and and you know like the purple shirt and stuff like you ever see those older guys they're very colorful people that's not men's

fashion those men are rich enough and old enough that they have realized they just don't get it they should just buy what the fuck they want eccentric enough that they but sometimes people need when they're like that they need to stand out they're forced to break fashion from what is normally accepted and look weird in order to exaggerate themselves and their personality and their image right so yeah wearing a bright red suit or something is not something that you would see ever in anyone less than benedict cumberbatch pulling off do you know go to any high street website go to any high street website or any any online fashion site that is for the general consumption not the super high-end fancy fashion lads i'm saying most people

if you look at the color schemes it's either a patented pattern like burberry or it's a series of three or four very very very plain colors and i think it's a shame yeah i think it's a real shame i think that color color in men's fashion is is dead it's a shame yeah i think it's a real shame i think the color color in men's fashion is is dead it's just like nobody wants to wear anything brightly colored it's all just plain plain plain and it's depressing no i don't know i got like a couple of turquoise shirts recently and slow down yeah i got a bright orange shirt i had a bright bright yellow shirt uh at 1.2 but my uh my clothes disappear like i don't know where what happens to them you know like i bought a whole bunch of new socks like maybe two months ago i don't know where they all have gone like they just

slowly disappear i don't know like uh this whole concept of like you know the the sock monster whatever i think it's true because i i don't know where all my clothes go i had shirts that i've had they're gone i don't like maybe my wife just chucks them out after a while or something i have no idea but like i've definitely noticed that a lot of my clothes just go missing and like i'm not you know i don't want to go sherlock i'm not careless with them or anything i'm'm not like whipping it off while I'm driving down the street and throwing them out the window or anything. So like, where the hell are they going? Well, if this was a Neil Gaiman book,

it would be probably the fairies who were secreting them away. But since it's reality, it's probably your wife who's chucking them because she's noticing they've all got like curry stains that she can't get out. She's in on it too, because every time I mention them, I'm like, man, I haven't seen that chair for a while. She's like, oh, she doesn't like she's in on it too because i every time i mention i'm like man i haven't seen that shirt for a while she's like oh she doesn't like saying anything she's like god that's weird i wonder where it's going like oh yeah well she's not directly admitting any responsibility she's just like she probably slam dunked it into the trash while i was out here recording a podcast you know like and laughing if you asked her she'd say she'd

give you a good reason for it she's not just slowly binning all of your clothes for no reason until you wake up one morning and there's just nothing left. You just get your dressing gown. I feel like I just blew my nose into a dressing gown. This linen freshness is just, it's off the charts. No, just get more of them, knit them together. Make your own clothes.

Have you ever thought about making your own clothes? No, never. No, because I'm not a hippie. I want to try. I want to try my hand at making some of my own clothes. What, like do like a tie-dye? Yeah. Did you ever do that thing in school where you like iron on an imprint onto a shirt,

create your own T-shirt? Sure. You color a picture onto like a special kind of paper, and then you iron the paper onto a shirt? Yeah. I've ironed a patch onto a shirt before i did burn a shirt the other day but i was going to this wedding and i was ironing and i haven't ironed for so long i i didn't i just turned the iron to max and it just i put down on the shirt and it just came off like i burned the whole the black of it was all black on the back of the shirt and I was like

Oh my god, it was only there for a second and I just couldn't believe it But apparently you can do that. So be careful folks. Fortunately was on the back of the shirt I'd started at the back and so I was wearing the suit at the wedding and it didn't matter You guys ever have those t-shirts in the 80s that turn color like when they were hot like if you put your hand Sure put your hand on like a shirt yeah yeah turn colors bring those back those change color remember reebok pumps you had like in the tongue of the shoe it had like the you could like blow them somehow like jimmy game boys yeah you could like jump the pogs yeah do you remember jesus what is this podcast turning into no i just it just made me when you started talking about making

your own clothes it just reminded me of all the all the fashions gone by what about they never come back either those things where it was like a dinosaur or something and you got it wet and it got slightly bigger not slightly bigger if you left those bad boys in a cup for like a week they get huge like they would just be a week yeah what a fun toy i know i came up with that it was genius they're fucking gross too because when they got big you tried to pick them up out of the glass they were disgusting they're all slimy and shit like what now were they made of the same things that they make tampons out of because those things will suck up water like no one of them in a glass they will fill the glass they're massive what came first, the growing dinosaurs in the cup or tampons?

Do you think some woman who was stuck, she stuffed a fucking inflatable dinosaur up her ass? And then someone's like, we should invent tampons. This is ridiculous. Women left, right, and center. These dinosaurs are sending like hotcakes. Why are all these women buying these dinosaurs? I remember my friend at school in elementary school one time complained to the teacher uh because he said it was unfair that

girls had their own locker in their bathroom they had a locker in their bathroom but it was it was a tampon dispenser he thought it was a locker it was so funny everybody was laughing you know my my daughter was saying this is my nine-year-old that the year that she's in year five so they're like nine to ten and they've started to have the the lectures for kids about things like uh you know puberty and stuff like that in schools they're teaching them about that all that kind of stuff now i didn't realize this but they separate the boys and the girls and i said to her why do they do that she said well last time we were talking about stuff and the boys were going, what?

Like, joking about. And all the girls didn't want to ask questions because they were like, they didn't want to be the one that puts their hand up and asks a question. All the boys were like. Yeah, being all random. I was thinking, I hope they took those fucking idiots. Because I would have been one of those idiots. Because, you know, boys were fucking idiots.

I still am. Taking them to another group and say, all right, you guys can dick about what you like, but we're going to fucking teach you about this shit because you need to know yeah there's a fact that so many boys grow up and don't know i don't know nothing about that don't ask me it is important that's your potentially your life partner well you've got no interest in this this cycle that happens every month that you could fucking help out with don't just claim ignorance you stupid bastards i'm talking to us here men

yeah well i mean at that age though you just um you just don't give a shit right like i mean i should i was all i wanted to do was just like joke around and like impress my friends and stuff i think how far does it go though do you talk about like having to rub their feet and have to like look after them who does that i didn't do any of that well i'm just talking about helping out in terms of like knowing what to buy exactly though how maybe you're not doing enough is what i'm saying i ain't fucking rubbing no feet give me a break dude this works it pays you back it's all worth it in the end man i'm just saying you should give back i'm gonna say i've never rubbed feet before but equally i've never had my feet rubbed before either.

Yeah. And I'm okay with that. It's not on my bucket list for sure. I ain't asking for no foot rubbing. I don't really like the foot rubbing thing. Stay away from my feet, all right? Feet are for walking, not for rubbing. I don't want to go near other people's feet as well.

They're really gross. Like, they get sweaty and stuff. I know some feet are better than others or whatever, but I don't know. I just find feet kind of gross you know sure well no i mean some people do then i'm not saying that maybe the foot rub maybe this is why we need some education what about like you what if they get somebody with like severe diabetes feet like come on i'm not rubbing those things what's the diabetes like

when they get sores and shit all over them and like, or they're bleeding. That's leprosy. Those things definitely need a rub. Oh, leper feet. If your partner is on their period and they have leprosy, what should you do? You know, these are the things that we need to know. There's got to be some oil or something that you can rub on. They live on an island, don't they? It'll be in the Bible, right?

I thought if you have leprosy, you have to live on an island. So they've got plans for what they do at that time of the month. I bet you they rub each other's feet on that fucking island. each other's feet on coconut oil jesus christ coconut oil that's the answer to everything that's like it's one of those home remedy things isn't it it's like you know oh my god i've got severe pain in my leg i should go to the doctor no no just get some honey on there or like you know put some coconut oil on or something like you know that'll yeah i'm sure that's supposed to be a thing that you can put on your hair and you can drink it and you can pour it up your

butthole you can just rub it everywhere it's fine it's like okay drown yourself in it go for it don't do that no um well you can't i'm not convinced about that i've got a jar of it at home actually of coconut oil and i'm i've it's been in my cupboard for like two years and i've never you can eat it you could eat it but you can i'm always it's always there right stuff yeah but i'm like why it's just oil like why i don't want that in there i don't know yeah coconut milk and other stuff we're the same we got a big jar of coconut oil it's never been opened it's just fucking sitting there no it's not being opened in winter it goes all solid it's enticing sometimes actually because you look at it and you think like man it looks like marshmallow spread but it's not it's just fucking gross coconut shit that's when it's yeah and then

in the summer it's just what it's just like a jar of liquid you're like what can we use this for and the answer is nothing at all ever yeah but i guess you only buy one otherwise they'd sell it everywhere wouldn't they if everyone was chugging it down i'm not even sure you're supposed to drink i think that's probably really like a staple of a health food store right like they just have a whole aisle devoted to coconut oil in a jar and avocado oil yeah yeah yeah walnut oil next to the limes and it's not and it costs like uh fifty dollars for one jar like it's it's just coconut oil but it's somehow more expensive than anything else right like at health food stores it's always the same 90 saturated fat

which is higher than butter which is 64 saturated fat and beef fat which is 40 than butter, which is 64% saturated fat, and beef fat, which is 40% saturated fat. There you go. Nice. Just fat. And on that bombshell, can I go and sit in the pool, please? Yes. Yes, you can.

Enjoy yourself. Thanks for taking time out of your holiday to record this. Have a nice holiday. Thanks for listening to this shit. Sorry, Pete. It's all right. All right.

Well, have a good week, everyone. Love you. Take it easy. See you Pete. It's all right. All right. Well, have a good week, everyone. Love you. Take it easy. Bye. Bye.