Triforce! - Triforce! #199.3: Game of Wheel: The Thrones of Time

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

Triforce! Episode 199.3! How long would you survive if we were completely cut off from food? Is it time for western media to look east for inspiration? Should Triforce be in charge of changing up the Christmas tradition?! Not long, yes and no are the answers for all of those! Go to http://manscaped.com and use code TRIFORCE to get 20% off with free shipping. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's wonderful to be here with you this morning on the Triforce podcast. Hello, P-Flex. Hello, my lovely friend Sips. Hello. I'm P-Flax. Hello, my lovely friend Sips. Hello. Ah. I'm clearly not a friend. Yeah, gosh.

Nice. What a huge snuff. It's a freezing cold day outside. When this podcast comes out, Jingle Jam will have just kicked off. Oh, is that next week already? The event of the year. Holy crap, it's the 25th. Jeez.

Yeah, jeez. I know, it's exciting stuff. December is here. Oh my God. So is the thing that we've been preparing for ages. Oh man, I got to put up like the tree and decorations and stuff. Yeah, it's fun. It's all good.

It's all warm, wholesome feelings. The whole thing. I like it. It's a whole, it's nice come on no one no one minds putting up the christmas tree do it then if you like it so much i'll pay you money i mean man i hate doing it it takes so long and it's just like oh god where is it it's in the loft uh no no you got to buy you got to buy a tree and you have to cut it so that it fits. What? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. What was that thing? Yeah, you have to have... I've got a fake one, obviously, but you have to have it for 10 years to make it worth the cost of a real one or something like that. Really? Yeah. So, I guess real ones are...

Where it's at. Still have some disposal costs. Yeah. You know, I think they burn them after they're done in a big christmasy yeah i wonder what they they should they should just like maybe chip them and then uh you know use those chippings to like you know they could sell it as like mulch or something i don't know like they gotta do something with all of it stuffing next year yeah yeah yeah cut it into logs like uh i guess the christmas logs I guess the trunks on a Christmas tree aren't big enough to warrant turning it into-

They're quite little, aren't they? Yeah, they're little logs, right? They're like little- They're just little trees. They're just baby trees, really, aren't they? Yeah. They're not big enough. Yeah.

Mrs. F every year says to me, how big a tree do we want to get? And I always say, 10 feet. And she laughs every time. Like, it's like it's like our go-to christmas joke 10 do you have um is there is there 10 feet of clearance no no no that's why it's funny but it's one of those little family jokes you know the way you've got like an in-joke with yeah we're lucky we have like high ceilings in our in our house for some reason yeah and it's like eight feet or whatever but i always get a christmas

tree thinking you know this will fit and then i cut it and everything and it never quite fits so there's all these scrape marks on my ceiling where we normally put the christmas tree like with like you know just like some old sap or whatever that comes off the the tree because the the very top of the tree always scrapes against the ceiling when i'm putting it into the the holder and stuff it's a lot of hassle it's just a lot of hassle you know you know what i mean like yeah i would be happy if the tradition changed and you no longer had to do trees you know what i mean like just like a like a pole with some tinsel on it like festivus like festivus yeah something like just something easier you know maybe something a bit more modern as well

like a spider plant with a couple of bells. A lava lamp would be great. Yeah, something that just still looks really cool, but isn't as much faffing around to get set up. You know what I mean? Right. I'm sure someone knows. One of those inflatable flailing men, maybe.

But I think it can't be that old a tradition. It must be a relatively recent tradition. No, and traditions evolve, right? I mean, Halloween wasn't always Halloween like it is now. Thanksgiving, I doubt, was always the way that it is right now, Thanksgiving. I mean, the essence of Thanksgiving is still there, I'm sure. But things have changed a lot, right? Like the way that you prepare food, the types of food that people eat, all that kind of stuff.

So come on, Christmas. Get with the times. Let's change it up a little food that people eat, all that kind of stuff. So come on, Christmas, get with the times. Let's have a little, let's change it up a little bit. Let's make it a little bit easier. Modern Christmas trees originated during the Renaissance in early modern Germany. In its 16th century origins are sometimes associated with Protestant Christian reformer and massive anti-Semite, I believe, Martin Luther, who said to have first added lighted candles to an evergreen tree. The earliest known firmly dated representation of a Christmas tree

is on a keystone sculpture of a private home in Turkheim, Alsace. Right. With the date 1576. 1576. See, it's been long enough now. Let's change it. Let's get like a chia pet that you can put lights on or something easy. So you might think it's not a religious symbol. The secularists out there such as myself

may think, oh, I don't have anything religious at the Christmas, just a tree. But hold on, because they think it has its origins in the tree of paradise, of medieval mystery plays that were given on the 24th of December to to commemorate adam and eve and the tree was decorated with apples to represent the forbidden forbidden fruit and wafers to represent redemption man they could you they should change that phil collins song slightly so it's like oh think twice it's just another day for you and tree of paradise you know like talking about you and your tree of paradise yeah of paradise it's is it tree of paradise tree of paradise yeah so you can it could turn that could become the new christmas song rather than covered in apples and wafers to represent the eucharist

yeah suck it mariah care Carey. You're done. Your days are numbered. Phil Collins is coming back with a remastered Christmas hit. And it's more symbolic. Very Christmas-y. Phil Collins, there's a guy. I remember he was kind of a punchline in the 80s, Phil Collins. He wore a lot of Christmas sweaters almost full-time, actually.

Like, even outside of Christmas. You remember his wardrobe generally just looked like a christmas dad's wardrobe he had like he's always had kind of energy hasn't oh god yeah he had like the um he had like the millhouse van hooten's dad hairdo like quite early on and stuff like very tipsy van hooten van hooten yeah um so you know he had Kurt Van Houten Van Houten He had the ring of hair Around the bald head sort of thing Just like Phil Collins had That was his trademark or whatever

But Phil Collins had that It's quite a monkey Would you say about a monkey? It's quite a monkey I thought you were talking about a monkey I thought you said it's quite like a monkey A monkey with like a monkey. A monkey with like a shaved pate.

Yes. So we're changing it all up. We're getting rid of the tree. We're going to replace it with something better. We're getting rid of Mariah Carey. We're going to replace her with Phil Collins. How about candles? There's nothing dangerous about those. Let's get everyone burning loads of candles.

Burning candles? I don't know about burning candles though. You don't like candles at Christmas? Fake- what about the fake tea lights? They're- they're okay. Yeah, they're quite cool. Okay. Yeah, plastic candles.

Although my kids play with them all year round so they're always run out of battery by the time Christmas comes around. That's what we use to light our pumpkin up is- is those- Yeah, we did this. Well, we got like a disco one this year. Sick. And the- the pumpkin just looked insane like, uh uh it's like purple and green lights coming out of him stuff some friends of ours did mad eye moody because their kids are big harry potter

fans and their carving of mad eye moody was unbelievable it was it was ridiculous it was so good it's like a photo some people it was like a photo some people are crazy people yeah yeah it was not i think the pumpkin's good, right? Because it's environmentally friendly. It's not too big, right? Like, it's just a pumpkin. Do you know what I mean? You can eat the middle if you have to. But as far as these things go, a tree, usually people get them and chuck them away, or they

get big plastic ones, chuck those away. There's a lot of waste around Christmas, especially with all the wrapping and all that crap and all the bows and ribbons. All this stuff kind of just goes to waste, and it feels like a very throwaway. We need to move towards something less disposable. Yeah, our society is kind of based on disposability. What's a Christmas vegetable?

Parsnip, Brusselssels sprout you need to get some of those some of those find a flush bags you know like they've made the wipes now find a flush make the make um bags and stuff out of that too and then you can just flush a whole bag down the down the toilet too you say we have a christmas bag in the living room yeah christmas bag christmas bag oh christmas bag i hope it's full of useful things it's fine to flush down your lavatory providing you are done with the christmas bag christmas bag oh man this is this is great like and and the bag must not be overfilled either. That's another thing. I don't know about you guys, but when you're putting...

No bulging sack. It says in the Bible, doesn't it? Thou shalt not overfill thine Christmas bag. Thy sack shall not bulgest. Let not thy sack bulget on Christmas morn. Not thy sack. Let not thy sack bulget. Remove those with bulging sacks from the rest of you and place yourself and so that your sack does not bulge great shame will be bestowed upon those with a

with a bulging sack around the time of um i just renamed christmas as well maybe not to festivus but let's you're right christmas is not oh yeah holidays people say but that's not good we just need a whole overhaul i'm just you know i don't think we can really do that because although we may well partake in christmas it's not really our holiday if we're not christians petition to yoink in it petition to ban dfs from all trade uh for like a month around christmas as well can we just brand them stop man i bought a sofa it's fine i don't need to replace it all the time dfs come on what are you doing to yourself like what do you want from me there's too many ads all the time for dfs you

know like let's change it up i don't think you could say as well that you know it's not our festival just because we don't believe in in any of this guff doesn't mean that we can't it's not part of our culture it's not like we're going around burning down the churches i'm not saying we can't join in i'm saying we i don't think it's our place to start saying christmas is stupid they should get rid of all the religious stuff and you know it's all there for a reason isn't it i mean i'm happy i can't tell that the lines are religious way i don't know what the lines are religious way i don't know what bits are religious and which bits aren't now well we didn't even know the christmas tree was and now it turns out it is its roots are there so i think yeah it's what turns out that

actually the pope god bless him uh pope john paul what you remember the um which one the old one there's a whole bunch of them the second kind of withered a yoda one from back in the day okay well you're not being very specific here they all look they all look like little gilbert grapes like with the hats on and stuff you know like i don't know i can't tell the difference wasn't one german recently that there was a german one recently i think i don't know my yes honestly my my pope knowledge is not where it should be they went from from John Paul to the Emperor from Star Wars. Katzenberger or something his name was. Back to the most recent one. Anyway, Pope John Paul called the Christmas tree a symbol of Christ,

a very ancient custom that exalts the value of life. There you go. In winter, what is evergreen becomes a sign of undying life and reminds Christians of the tree of life. There you go. An image of Christ. What did that Pope do before he became the Pope? What, he just was, he's an accountant or something?

And then he just became the Pope? No, he's like a bishop or whatever forever. They just get, it's just a promotion. Yeah, it's a promotion. That's exactly it. But it's a promotion ordained by God. Like the idea is that they all get together, the cardinals and all the rest of it, whatever they are.

I don't know what the highest rank is. It's like the field marshals of the church, you know, and they all get together the cardinals and all the rest of it whatever they are i don't know what the highest rank is it's like the field marshals of the church you know and they all get together and they say who's going to be like um el capo de tutti capo who's going to be the big dog and they literally say well god's telling me to vote for this lad so they all vote and then the smoke goes out and they say we got a new pope and they've chosen him but he's elected but it's like you know in the past they would think when you do you remember when they used to have i don't say you remember but do you recall the fact they used to have battles to the death and you know that sort of trial by combat god would decide who the victor was and that's how you discern the truth right it's a bit like saying you know god clearly is working through all these cardinals and the

bishops and all that and deciding who's going to be the next one up obviously it allows for a lot of personal politicking and bullshit but uh people gonna corrupt things so that's how there's a movie called the two popes have you seen it no is that the one is that the one whether it's about the choosing of the pope yes it's really really really good i watched it i watched jonathan price yeah it's actually brilliant it gives you a real insight into the kind of way the pope is chosen and works because obviously there was a sort of an unusual thing that happened relatively recently where the pope ratzenberger where's the cats and what's his name he he kind of abdicated yeah which hadn't really been done before so you just he just he resigned he just thought yeah but i think he was super old and fragile wasn't he and he was losing his marbles

i don't know well a little bit of that it's somewhat covered in the movie and obviously i don't know how fictionalized it is but it's it's a sort of thing where i think that when you are the pope god is your word is god for a start which is gospel and also god is supposed to speak directly to you and i think that in many ways in many cases here cardinals and who became popes found that god wasn't speaking to them almost and we're a bit surprised by it they think he was like gonna email them and stuff i'll tell you one thing god spoke to to me. He said, don't believe the hype. And my God looks like Flavor Flav as well, which is odd, I know. But it's just the way it is. You're a Flavor Flavist.

Yeah, I'm a Flavor Flavist. Yeah, through and through. Oh, there's the door. I see what happened. Maybe I should watch that. Do you think I'll learn more about the Pope? I enjoyed it. I recommend it.

Because I really don't know anything about the pope other than like i mean i probably recognize him in a parade or whatever but like i don't actually know like much about behind the scenes what goes into hoping you know like i don't know how the pope is chosen well i guess you guys just explained it but like it it seems interesting because i mean obviously the whole thing is still very, there's a massive following for it, and it's still hugely popular, right? It's one of the oldest sort of traditional things, really,

that's kind of still going. Yeah. Because, and it's so weird, and it all wraps up in sort of pageantry. Yeah. And rules. You know, it's a little bit like really couched in tradition, talking about Christmas traditions, but religious traditions. What I want to know is where did my tradition of lying on the sofa, drinking Baileys and being pissed by five o'clock and watching telly come out?

Oh, well, I mean, that's just a dad thing, isn't it? That doesn't have anything to do with the holidays. It's just like... But we all do it. It's clearly rooted clearly rooted in something yeah but i would do that at any given day you know like if if everybody in my house is like occupied like you know playing nintendo or watching a movie or something like that that's what i'm doing i'm like okay i'm laying down and i'll probably fall asleep and i may be drinking at the time i'm not sure you know what i mean what do you guys have for your christmas uh meal as you're both you know disgusting non-meat eaters how do you

get through the day without a delicious roasted well i was actually eyeing up a uh marks and spencer's plant-based uh turkey thing oh yeah i've had those i've had those before they're not bad were you eyeing it up and thinking yeah it's not bad well i was i was thinking about what to have this christmas yeah i normally have some roast potatoes um some nice carrots you know maybe some sprouts like a bit a bit a bit of uh veggie gravy and uh you know like some nice bread or something like that it's usually i let you guys in on a secret go for it my favorite part of a roast meal is probably the vegetable i mean this is this is what about having have you ever tried having a yorkshire pudding with your with your roast vegetables i do love a yorkshire put yes man that's that's kind of nice that just like changes

the problem is the absolute highlight of the meal for me is Mrs. F's gravy, which is actually god tier. She makes the best gravy. No, you can't beat good gravy for sure. I mean, good gravy is crucially important. I actually had, there's a pie minster in St. Nick's Market and I had a mooless moo pie yesterday. Oh man, the pie minster makes some really nice pies. With gravy and mash and peas.

And I was like, man, give me this for Christmas dinner. Yeah, yeah. I'd eat that for Christmas dinner for sure. I mean, turkey sucks. Let's just pop that on the fucking menu of discussion topics. Well, it's inferior chicken. I think we've spoken about this before. Oh, man.

I honestly, when I used to eat meat, my mom used to make like a turkey dinner for Christmas and like for Easter. So I kind of like turkey actually. Like it was christmas and like for easter and so i kind of like turkey actually like it was but wouldn't you rather have had i mean chicken is so good well i think they used to eat chicken on christmas because it was better and it was special and it was a bit rarer they didn't used to have chicken every day like we do now but when at some point that flipped and became we shit one on Christmas. I read a very interesting article, actually, about chickens the other day, which was that the average chicken now costs three pounds.

Holy crap. And 50 years ago, that would have cost 11 pounds. Wow. Is that with inflation? That is accounting for inflation. It's just supply and demand, though. I mean, God, there's got to be more chickens than ever now. Like, they're freaking everywhere.

Yes, but the margins are getting so thin, and the expectation for how much chicken people want is going up. A lot of the preparation of chickens to eat is automated now, too, right? More or less. Yeah, but the point is the amount of money that they're getting, right yeah so you can get a sainsbury's medium chicken for three pound 50 which is insane you should not be able to buy an entire chicken for that much and i think about this quite often when i look at the margins for things i think how much can they be making like i understand some things are lost leaders you know know, like milk and stuff like that.

You can't tell me that raising a chicken from birth to death, the entire process, shipping it, packaging it, everything. Buying a chicken should be a premium item. It shouldn't be considered like, and, you know, get the milk, get the paper, buy a chicken. But you can get a coffee more expensive than a chicken. Yeah, yeah. You can get a large chips from the chip shops for like as much as it costs to buy a whole chicken from right it's nuts so i think that they they should have like i think a lot of this is to do with supermarkets but our expectation for the amount

of meat that we have is is insane i've spoken before at length about frigerators and i will again disgusting do you guys ever think about this like you the food that we eat on a daily basis just take for example your your average day and the food that you consume in that day that's like pretty normal for you right like it's not you're not really eating anything out of the ordinary for you at the time indeed imagine a situation kind of like you know worst case scenario brexit or something like that where supply lines everything is really massively disrupted cut off the island is somehow cut off and you're kind of left to it for you don't know how long you know maybe forever you know like like we really take for granted like all this

really nice convenient food right but like like it it takes a long time to grow food as well. I mean, I learned this from, from doing it in the summer and you could fuck it up royally too. So if you do, you're suddenly in the situation where you're like, holy shit, I have no food. Like I'm, I have to eat berries out of a bush or something to stay alive. So you're saying like, what, what would we do if all food supplies, like the entire food supply network for the country was shut off and there was literally no food on any shelves anywhere yeah what would you eat yeah well we've been fattening up our dog nicely oh no she lost for a week or so yeah but

like so you would dismember your dog but like how would you prepare it like it would just be kind of hard right to know what what cuts to get from it i don't have those skills delicious looking little thighs i need those straight away yeah her little front legs are like like wings they go straight away yeah little front legs are like wings you know she's got some pudge on her there you think you'd be like crying the whole time you were eating it no i'm hungry oh god well i'm hungry so you gotta survive yeah and she's she's got some some meat at the front definitely i think she cooked up you could you can save that till boxing day yeah did you get some i mean don't get me wrong i don't spend a lot of time thinking about this

but i would personally be so fucking screwed like i don't know what the hell i would do what grows on jersey potatoes yeah you'd have potatoes but then again like i said you that's providing you you know how to plant them and when to harvest them and all that kind of shit, which I'd say the average person does not know any of this stuff. So, like, you know, left to your own devices, I think that's pretty scary stuff. I'm not, I doubt it would ever happen sort of thing. But I, you know, just like entertaining the scenario sort of thing but i you know just like entertaining the the the scenario sort of thing i i would be be freaking hopeless no this is one of those big fears that will supply everyone always panics about this yeah because i guess that's why people were like

going crazy getting the toilet paper and stuff i mean yeah you didn't have toilet paper what are you doing using like some old like undershirts or something? Like your duvet? I don't know, man. Like what are they? They always give me these stupid facts. Like we're already three days away from, you know, starvation or whatever, you know,

we've only got three days worth of food at every given time on shore, you know, because we're a net importer of food the UK has seen. And so are some other places

like Hong Kong and Singapore, big urban centers where they have to bring a lot of food in from the outside just because our economy is too, I don't know, industrialized or whatever. There's too many people and not enough land. All the land we're using is golf courses instead of... Places to grow more food for people or whatever. I think also we don't grow a lot of stuff that we actually could eat.

Like a lot of rapeseed, example is a big crop and a lot of stuff that we export a lot of the stuff that we fish we don't eat yeah it's just it did we export a lot of exported yeah i mean we haven't been able to feed ourselves for a long time as an island i mean if we just ate turnips yeah we'd be fine that's what we used to get by on. Post-World War II, it was during the rationing times and all that kind of stuff. It was like that, right? Like lots of root vegetables. We imported a lot of shit. Turnips.

They had too many and everybody was sick of them. That's why that entire generation knows how to grow vegetables. Because you fucking had to, I guess. You had to. Yeah, yeah. Like even in Jersey, like when it was occupied during world war two, people were starving because, um,

the supply lines were completely cut off, you know, when, uh, especially once France was, uh, was invaded by the, by the allies and taken back.

Yeah. Um, the channel islands were still cut off. So people had to learn how to make food out of what was around. And it was kind of gross. You know, they had to make like, of what was around and it was kind of gross you know they had to make who do you think you are kidding mr hitler if you think our turnips are done but yeah i don't i i personally would never want to be in a situation like that because i just don't have the skills to get by in that sense you know like i i just i'm too used to eating like you know

cookies and stuff and i like them and uh you know what the hell would you do all of a sudden oh yeah you're never gonna have cookies again oh shit like i i don't know how to make those myself for the most part like it's a nightmare jesus what was that bloody woman's name who my parents had the flipping cookbook of some terrible old no no there was some old what's her name oh my god she had like nettle soup and all these wartime kind of cooking we had one in fanny craddock uh no not fanny craddock not fanny craddock not betty crocker no delia smith nigella lawson no old gordon ramsey man she um she they were eating some they they they had terrible taste back then they were in suet i mean they had to though

and syrup they were starving they were just eating all sorts of stuff you think that they would look at the food that we eat nowadays and say the same thing like you know when people just rename differently yeah yeah people are getting like burritos and mcdonald's delivered to their house and stuff like they probably think the same right they're probably like god that's gross give me some suet you got any roast suet i guess you're just used to what you're used to no no it'll come to me julia child what's her name it's so like enid or something or someone like that en. Enid Blyton? Edith Piaf. She did a great Piaf. Edith Piaf's Piaf.

A great raspberry Piaf. I love her Piaf. Edith Piaf's Piaf. That's what she was named after. Welcome to the kitchen. Oh, man. Before we continue, it's holiday season. It sure is.

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a movie at the at the theaters for quite some time the last one i saw was peter rabbit 2 so this wasn't too bad in comparison he said he almost walked out because it was so bad but he stuck it out yeah i mean my my nine-year-old son really liked it we at the end of the movie said this is the best movie i've ever seen uh for context though as i've said uh he's seen like three movies in his life so right you know that's gonna be that's gonna be up there for sure right no he liked it though he it was it was uh it was kind of like my experience going to see terminator 2 with my dad when i was like 12 you know that's all a movie oh yeah that was awesome but like it's it's not so much the movie i think he enjoyed the experience it was a 12a he's not 12 so you know

he thought that that he was like hanging out with his dad and getting away with something or whatever so right right that side of it i think he really enjoyed too uh and the movie was like it wasn't great you know like it was you know the movies. It didn't do the original movies justice. In fact, just kind of ripped off a lot of stuff from the original movies, which I guess it would. But I mean, really, a lot of the key plot points from the first movie are present in this movie, which felt a little bit lazy and stuff. I watched a few reviews where they said it's almost a beat for beat yeah in parts oh there's parts like there's this part where paul rudd goes into a walmart that's just been haunted to buy marshmallows and of course you see you know the marshmallow man i don't know if you've seen the trailers but there's like the little mini marshmallow man so he runs

out of the aisle because you know these marshmallow men start biting him and stuff and uh and the big fucking dog you know like the gozer dog from the first movie is eating you know some puppy chow out of a big bag starts chasing him and then does the thing you know like in the first movie when uh when um what's his face lewis tully is in central park and and the fucking the dog bursts out of the glass doors it does all that it's like it's it's like scene for scene exactly the lewis tully thing but it's paul rudd you know jumping into his car in the end or whatever and uh you know it's got like gozer the gatekeeper the key master all the old stuff and it's just like it feels a lot of it feels a bit half-baked like the the start of the movie is really slow and there's

post-credit stuff hinting at sequels and stuff too so it's like oh man i don't know it's it's all kids that are like the you know the ghostbusters but it's like egon spengler's granddaughter who is the brain box who just knows how all of the fucking gear works and you know the last 10 minutes of the movie just goes from like zero to a hundred immediately and then they just know how to defeat gozer and they just trap gozer in a trap which is kind of like ghostbusters dude if you look at ghostbusters it was original and star wars and indiana jones it was really original but but they might have borrowed stuff from other other films that went before but they didn't feel like they were literally remaking them and the fact that we're still watching those movies and remakes and

franchises based around those movies what happens in 20 or 30 years time when you've got the next generation of young people who want to see movies and they're like star wars again like my parents watched it now i'm watching it this this is becoming like a cult for some reason where we just we must remake the star wars and the ghostbusters endlessly when is a generation of film gonna come along where it's literally we have a 10-year period and there's like a whole bunch of new genuinely interesting original settings and ideas and things when is that gonna happen yeah when is it gonna happen i feel like um i i feel like like watching i've been watching that documentary series again because there's been a new couple of seasons since i last watched it the movies that made us and there's there was like uh you know forrest gump back to the future

jurassic park all these like you know big movies from when i was a kid i remember them being coming out being being very big very popular big box office hits and stuff. And I feel like now there's more Hollywood rather than, I don't even think they wanted to take many risks back then because a lot of these big movies almost didn't make it. You know, like if you look at the documentary, it's like they had budget issues. Nobody wanted to fork out the money to make these movies. Nobody believed in them.

A lot of people didn't like the scripts, whatever. You know what I mean? And there was a lot of improvisations that had to be made along the way in order to get these movies out. Like Forrest Gump, for example. Tom Hanks and the director had to fork out money just to make it happen because the studio was like, no, you're done. We're not putting any more money into this movie. They were cut out the vietnam scene cut out this scene cut out and

they're like we don't have a movie without these scenes like you have to have them and they're like no no like you're you're spending too much money you don't want it and now it feels like it feels like it's still like that they don't want to take risks but they have this whole catalog of surefire uh ips right yeah yeah that they can now just borrow from so like whenever they they just need to make some money it's like okay let's just reboot this fucking box office smash from the 90s and you know hopefully people are just going to be dumb enough to go see it and we'll make more money or whatever someone someone posted a thing about movies i'm sure i don't know if it's true or whatever. Someone posted a thing about movies. I'm sure, I don't know if it's true or whatever,

but it was an interesting looking graph was that films made like based on original IPs rather than just either remakes or like an addition to or a sequel or part of a franchise or whatever. And how that's gone downhill. And I just think, you know, people worry that cinema is dead

and all the rest of it. If you look at stuff like Netflix and Amazon and all the rest of it and Apple, there's a lot more originality there and a lot more risk taking. Yeah. And I think as much as cinema complains that streaming services or what's I think a lack of invent of risk taking is actually what's killing them. I feel the same. Yeah. I feel like I don't think cinema is dead. I mean, I think there's plenty of good movies coming out. It's not what it was. I think we're talking about really big blockbuster movies here, which seem to have they're almost scared to make them. Right.

Because maybe the budgets are just much bigger now or something. It costs so much to make a movie. I mean, that is. Yeah. You know what? You know, I was what we talked last week about Lethal Weapon. So I also watched Lethal Weapon 2 and 3, because I like, I'm like a completionist in some regards. And I was like, well, you know, whatever. So I finished watching them all. And I was like, I haven't watched 4 yet. In fact, I'm not

even sure I've ever seen 4, but I was struck by just how cheap and shitty it looked for a major movie. There were, there was an awful lot of just pretty bad crappy looking sets and lighting yeah some really bad shots uh some really really lousy camera work and all the action in it was really really dull and there's the cocking doorbell again oh man that's three that's three in 20 minutes oh my god it's too popular man i like i can go for weeks without my doorbell going like i don't know how he does it i don't think my doorbell's ever run yeah crazy i i don't have i don't like people knowing where i live no i just like being a secret secretive mole you gotta know the password the secret password the handshake

and stuff like there's no way yeah and the secret password the handshake and stuff like there's no way yeah and the door like slides aside and there's like an ugly face behind oh yeah password yeah that's the one um i haven't seen lethal weapon in a long enough time to uh to to to say but the thing is that you're right though like budgets are nuts like even for tv shows like i watched um the wheel of time tv show this week any good i heard that's pretty good actually tv shows coming out it's on amazon prime it's um we did a little we're doing a little um show about it actually like a sponsored show ah so i can't say it's bad okay no um sure i'm a big fan of the wheel of time and uh i thought it was actually okay. It's always hard to watch something that you know well, right?

Because it's like, oh, how are they going to cover this? You're constantly aware of what's happening in the next scene, almost. Because a lot of the time, people are scared to adapt too much from the book, but they have to, right? Because they haven't got time. And sometimes the book stuff doesn't work and you know you don't want to you know books have got so much crap in them that you know even if you did i mean the i think the series is six or eight episodes does the first book of the wheel

of time there's 14 books jeez like so there are actually 15 books because there's also new spring which came out that was number zero zero. Came out in 2004. I've read that. I've read that as well. That's too many wheels and too much time for me. Sips, you're not going to believe how long these books are. I've read some of them. I've read the first two or three and I could not carry on.

Four, five, six. Well, there's one of them that's 675 pages long. And there's one that's 672 those are the short ones there's there are some that are knocking on a thousand pages lord of chaos is nearly a thousand pages long it's a 41 hour audiobook that is bonkers that is bonkers so long can i just give you this was why i i remember a couple of people have tried to get me to read wheel of time lewis you were one of them uh my friend bruno was another one of them and there was a couple of other friends of mine this is what puts me off this is the premise on wikipedia at the dawn of time a deity known as the creator forged the universe and the wheel of time which spins the

pattern of the ages using the lives of men and women as its threads the wheel has seven spokes each representing an age and is rotated by the one power which flows from the true source it's all very much like that yes capital letters and lots of true source one power ancient one and there's a lot there's a lot of elf names in it as well. All of it is slightly woolly, right? All of that is woolly. Like the Wheel of Time is woolly. The pattern is woolly. Like everything is blurry and mysterious and not really properly.

Well, I mean, you've got 14 books to get a bit of a grasp on it. But even with that, it's still, it does feel, I know what you mean. The thing about Wheel of Time is it's generic fantasy. I want to say that high fantasy. These days, it would be a young adult series, right? Because everyone's 17. They don't really get into... They want none of them die for 14 books kind of thing.

It's not grimdark, gritty, modern fantasy, right? Where we want... The thing is, this new series tries to game of thrones if i we have time a bit they add characters so there's lots of like uh exciting humping in it and stuff as well to like spruce it up or not well all the all the characters instead of being 17 are all mid-20s so i'm assuming there will be this there was a bath scene i saw um yeah so there are bits of that because you're basically making a show which is like if you liked game of thrones you'll love wheel of time it's got to have a bit of games

of thrones tits and death game of wheel wheel of the throne of time coming soon yeah streaming if you look at the most popular fantasy, you know, best-selling things, obviously it's Harry Potter number one, which is obviously a huge franchise. Then it's Lord of the Rings, and Amazon are already doing a new Lord of the Rings show. Wait, Harry Potter is bigger than Star Wars? Huge. For fantasy? Fantasy, I think.

In terms of fantasy, not necessarily sci-fi. I think Star Wars fits into that probably. I don't know. You know, let's have a look. I mean, I know Harry Potter is big, but I just didn't think in terms of a fantasy universe grossing movie franchises of all time it goes but marvel cinematic universe which has made 18 oh yeah that that really i mean this is different this is this is we talked about this before but yeah i mean in terms of fantasy tropes and fantasy universes wheel of time is huge and it hasn't really had anything successful done with it, right?

No, apart from the books. It exists only in the books, right? There's no movies, there's no television. Well, there is now, but there wasn't anything. There have been things done around it that have done very poorly. You know, this is obviously, I think I get the feeling it's done by the Amazon Prime second team.

And the first team were working on Lord of the Rings. Do you know what I mean? But that doesn't mean it's bad. I think it's fine. But I think I would like it more if I hadn't, didn't know the source material. Do you know what I mean? I wouldn't necessarily recommend people read The Wheel of Time unless they are willing, unless they like light fantasy. I'd say light in terms of, I mean, the TV show definitely isn't that.

There's burning witches and torture and all sorts of stuff. Right, right. But, you know, the books are lighter. They're more gentle in a sense. They're not in a modern horribleness. There's no child's getting burned at the stake or whatever you know like in child's you know i'm just trying to find examples of horrible things that happen in game of thrones but game of thrones is full of horrors isn't it oh yeah the books are even worse

right like there's full yeah full of nasty stuff in the books it's absolutely awful really comparatively you know and so you know this is not that but i think i think i don't want to say it's hard to go back but it's different it's a different universe and it's you have to invest but obviously huge fan of brandon sanderson who was brought in to complete the last well i think he was originally going to do the last book but then ended up turning into three books because there were a lot of untied threads and i think actually a lot of work was done putting the threads together and making it a satisfying lot of work was done putting the threads together and making it a satisfying conclusion right what about the spokes the wheel of time yeah the wheel

of time the pattern was threaded the spokes were greased sewn up the gears were changed bicycles in any way so anyway big big fan i'd imagine it's just a big penny farthing big big fat yeah i haven't seen it i'll probably get around to watching i've been really bad with tv shows and movies recently like uh foundation like i said i haven't been i mean i haven't even seen dune or anything i heard that's pretty good either i really want june is great yeah foundation is really good Foundation is really good. Succession is really good. Yeah. I heard Succession is pretty nice.

I might start watching that with my wife. You've got three series to watch of that. So you should do it. Yeah. And I just started watching a show where it's got Paul Rudd and Will Ferrell in. And I wasn't expecting to enjoy it. But I've watched the first episode. I can't remember what it's called. It's basically a psychiatrist it was quite good it was quite quite enjoyable um

did you did you watch ted lasso in the end yeah i don't i i fell out of love with ted lasso all right you've been posting pictures of you going around the ted lasso that was series one that was series one oh you didn't like series one was really good series two uh this this is not an attempt to critique because i like shows like ted lasso i like the fact that it's an original character and yeah yeah engaging all the rest of it series one was more about the differences between an american coach coming to the uk dealing with coming to the uk and all the rest of it and it was it was it wasn't like very often laugh out loud funny no but the character of ted lasso was very likable yeah the other characters were good but it was still basically a show about him series two is far more about the other characters an

awful lot of time i spent on the other characters and i'll be honest with you characters some of the characters are just not that interesting no coach beard is not that interesting a character and there's a whole episode dedicated yeah i agree with that that the coach episode was a big flop as well a lot of people liked it but i oh it was abysmal yeah it really was abysmal it was just so bad that i mean it was actually crazy i like his i like his character but he's just not uh he's just not a huge character to me you know what i mean like his whole point is he doesn't work without ted yeah he's just not a he's just not a huge character to me you know what i mean like his whole point is he doesn't work without ted yeah he's just a big support character kind of like kind of wise you

know behind the scenes sort of thing and that and that's fine you know like yeah like i liked him as a quiet well wise head i don't want to see this other side because it because it just wasn't engaging or funny or even remotely believable no yeah, yeah. It was just ludicrous. It was just weird, yeah. And then Nate becoming a bad guy at the end of season two, I was like, where the fuck did this come from? Like, I've watched every episode of this show. That was kind of coming, though.

Like, again, coming back to Beard, Beard sort of predicted it, right? Was always giving him weird looks and sort of... Yeah, because he was acting up. But here's the thing. The actor who plays Nate, Nick Muhammad, he posted this big explanation

of why Nate became a bad guy and the minutiae that he has to go into to let you discern that actually this character was not a great guy. And even he's speculating about some of the things that happened to his character

in his post. The actor should not have to explain why the character did something. That's the job of the writers and that is the job of the things that happened to his character in his post. The actor should not have to explain why the character did something. That's the job of the writers, and that is the job of the show. It shouldn't be an after the fact, okay, let me explain it to you, because then you've lost the audience. I'm not believing it at that point. And I just thought it was reaching.

I thought they realized that they didn't actually have anything dramatic happen in season two. There was no dramatic moment. It was all just very stately stuff and if if something if someone falls out with someone they make up pretty much that episode everything is resolved very quickly there's no tension in the show and it's just sort of like okay what what are we waiting for here like there's there's nothing keeping yeah the show the characters go and there's no tension at all so they just dump this in in the final episode

as in like season three is going to be a cork or something i don't think so like i'm done with the show in all honesty season two was such a letdown that episode in particular the coach beard episode killed it for me like i thought a man this is fucking awful yeah i also didn't like the coach beard episode i mean i'll watch season three see how it goes sort of thing i i i agree with you on on on on a bit of it not all of it but um okay but you know it's um that's how i feel yeah no that's fair enough lasso fans and believe me i i was one of you i watched um i watched hellbound this week hellbound have you heard of it it's a few people have talked about it as it's like um it's the most popular netflix it's like the new squid game right it's like um it's like a sort of a netflix um so massively underwhelming and overhyped

yeah yeah i think that that's kind of what's happened like a little bit like um with tv though in in this sense right like back in the day we only had a couple of channels so everyone watched the same shit yeah right and then it kind of spread out a lot spreading out a lot everyone got sky they got all those different channels everyone started watching different stuff but then netflix came along and kind of and he slowly sort of homogenized and recently you know with tiger king and a few other big things we've seen the audiences kind of become i don't know like like focused again and the the the trends focused on to everyone talking about this i like this one thing that's a that's like a cultural touchstone for people is that you know you can you can refer to things i i wouldn't like it if we were all watching different things

and nobody had any conversation that they could have about it have you seen so and so what channels i don't know it's on streaming platform number 187 no i missed it yeah i've got a thousand other shows to catch up on like i like the fact that there are some shows that everyone can talk about and have an opinion about it's good yeah so hellbound basically is this show where like randomly and a terrifying face appears in front of people they call it an angel and it says you're gonna die in three days at nine o'clock and they're like fuck right and then in three days at nine o'clock and they're like fuck right and then in three days at nine o'clock a three giant hell beings rise up out of the fucking ground or come out of the walls or come

out of the sky they fucking just appear in midair they beat the guy to death or stab him or torture or rip him apart in some way and then burn him or her in full view of everyone right and they capture this on on their phones phones and share it around. And it's basically a show about how this is happening loads to loads of people. And no one knows what's causing it, but they assume it's God. So this big organization comes across where they're like, because they say you're going to get taken to hell in three days. And these guys are pretty hellish. They assume that they need to stop.

They need to repent their sins. There's this sort of new church that forms and it's very much- The church of the giant scary monsters. It's called the new truth. Yeah. And so it's like this idea that this church becomes a very, very powerful organization

that can then influence things. And so it's about, so it's six episodes long, but it's very kind of- Is it like a miniseries or is there going to be more? There's probably going to be a season two, but I liked it because it was pretty unpredictable. You know, there was some crazy shit happen.

It wasn't the best TV. I'm sure it'll be a bit overrated, but it's like man it's it's it's wild you know what it keeps it's good i liked it so i think you found the solution to the lack of creativity in the west is we're gonna have to look east and if yeah korea and places like like you know japan and and maybe even china start coming up with their own original ips and then we're like wow wow, this is great. That's where the creativity might come from.

Because we've fucking given up. I hope this is going to inspire people to start making new shit. I started watching this Netflix sci-fi called Another Life. And it's the worst thing you've ever seen. It's so bad. I mean, it's like the new Ghostbusters. The whole premise you know the whole premise is that there's this this this like crystallized structure this alien structure

gets built on earth right and they find out it's from a planet like miles away and so they send their their one spaceship their crew of like their crew but their crew is all like 21 year old horny american assholes it sounds like the 100 best of the best oh my god did they start talking like orcs as well when they got there like like you know like this or anything like that or like because that's what happened in the 100 as well uh frustrating it's so annoying to it's like i but it's also, it seems to be written by someone who's never watched or had any kind of basic science education.

Do you know what I mean? It's like the first episode, they find an alien planet floating in space and they land on it. And then they take the herbs there and they smoke them and they're like weed.

And then they take their helmets off and they get an alien virus it's like it's garbage it's like so awful that sounds great I'm going to watch that what's it called again it's called another life it's got old starbuck from

Battlestar Galactica she's the sort of protagonist I haven't seen it actually I cannot recommend you watch it unless you are bracing yourself for one of the worst sci-fi experiences you've ever been sad to experience I mean I watched the 100

it's pretty bad it's like a Hollywood exec's son you know wanted to have a pet project and he was like oh my son's so talented he can direct and write this himself of course he was like oh my son's so talented he can he can direct and write this himself of course he can was it like christopher's fucking uh horror movie you don't understand paul he's got a hook for a hand i don't know it's just something pretty

crazy to me let the kid make his show christopher you go ahead you got my blessing thanks yeah thanks boys oh man oh i i will i will check that out or maybe avoid it i'm not sure i got other stuff to watch though lewis did you do did you do the news this week do you have news stories for us like you did i have i have new stories. That's my favorite part of the podcast. Quentin Tarantino has been sued over plans to release a Pulp Fiction NFT. Oh. Wait, he's releasing a Pulp Fiction NFT? Yeah. So Quentin Tarantino is releasing a Pulp Fiction NFT and Miramax sued him. And he replied by saying, I don't remember asking you a goddamn thing

nice apparently yeah so he's got any respect i had for quentin tarantino god you're really fickle with your respect flax like it doesn't take much eh just like all it shouldn't it shouldn't take much it shouldn't take much but you lost all the respect you had for him? I said I lost a lot of respect. Oh, right. Okay. I thought you said all. I was going to say. I said all.

I retract that. I'm sure he's had to banked a little bit over the years. I am a big Tarantino fan. I've seen all of his movies. He's had some belters. Even the stinkers. And, you know, this is just a change of pace. What do you say Tarantino's biggest stinker is?

Oh, man. I really didn't enjoy the Death Planet one, whatever the one that was like a schlock movie. I thought that was really poor. Oh, I didn't even see that. What was the... Did he do Ghost Rider? Is that his?

I don't think so. I don't think so. He did Reservoir Dogs. So Reservoir Dogs was life-changing when I saw that. True Romance. He did some biker movie. He did some biker movie. He did some biker movie that was bad.

So Four Rooms wasn't very good. From Dusk Till Dawn was okay. Yeah, it was alright. Jackie Brown was very good. Kill Bill was very good. Oh, Kill Bill, yeah.

He did a little bit of that. It was alright. Grindhouse Death Proof was not very good. Death Proof. That's the one I was thinking of. And Grindhouse Planet Terror was not very good.

Like, I just thought they were fucking gross. Inglourious Basterious bastards was okay i think it was a massive missed opportunity in some ways and some really weird decisions but it was all right django unchained was decent hateful eight was decent once upon a time in hollywood was was really good and then ruined in my opinion was a terrible ending um but uh it was uh he's just got into a weird revenge only thing which is kind of getting on my tits you know let's fucking move on a bit yeah anyway um uber eats here's the next bit of news uber eats is going to deliver uh weed to customers in canada nice there you go you can order

your weed to your door holy crap this is the this is the fucking life isn't this is the future where we're going we're like come on we're so far behind and over here like come on weed to your back in the day you had to pay 13 pound for chicken and get it yourself now you could order weed you get three pound chicken and some weed to your house perfect is that what's your doorbell's been yeah it's just non-stop chicken and weed this guy's living his best life no that was not what i was doing these were parcels i am not doing anything illegal i do not smoke nor possess weed thank you just a little disclaimer there that completely convinced me nasa are going to slam a spaceship into an asteroid i saw that it's like armageddon yeah yeah they launched a uh it's like a little box that they're gonna slam right into an asteroid it's called the double asteroid

redirection test yes dot yeah uh it's it's a trial run for dealing with earth-threatening asteroids without bruce willis having to risk it all i know i know all about this because i read like four articles about it yesterday it's not the box that's slamming into it. The box is going to detach and film the rest of the spaceship. Because they want to see what happens. And because it looks cool. And you want to show pictures of that. They think it will adjust the orbit.

So it's a big rock that's orbited by a smaller rock. And they're going to hit the smaller rock. And they're going to see if they can change its orbit around the big rock by just one percent that's what they think just one percent that's all it takes right then it's going to have a new trajectory and then it's just it'll be a narrow miss uh we'll get a little bit of comet dust uh maybe you know like uh maybe like a skid mark on the on the planet or whatever but that it's better than an impact crater and a massive right like i'm sure they've done the maths. I'm sure they have.

Oh, they've done the math for sure. They interviewed a guy who looks like all he does is the math. The maths, yes. He's just the math guy at NASA. They just need to stick rockets on another rock and shoot it at another rock. Because that would really move it. I think that's the plan eventually surely has to be. We send a ship out there that lands

and burrows in, like, drills into the asteroid, and it's got rocket boosters, and it sort of aligns itself with where it needs to be and fires itself. It doesn't even need to be going very quickly. It just needs to be traveling on a trajectory where it's going to collide with an incoming rock. Because we can't just shoot stuff at it. We'll run out of stuff. There's stuff floating around out there in space

that's doing nothing for nobody. Shoot it at one of these rocks and knock it off course. Bam, job done. Well, I mean, that's the hope, isn't it? And then final piece of news. In Brazil, a cow is tended for the slaughterhouse, I assume, at some of these big ranches that they have, escaped and um

managed to get its get stuck on a water slide at a neighboring uh holiday resort he just wanted to have fun one last time good for her i mean come on this it's become a bit of a celebrity it's now got a name and a state of execution and all the rest of it but um yeah it's i mean i i love that it just went on the water slide that is that is pretty nuts yeah well i mean i guess she just thought you know what i'm i'm about to get it i'm gonna go out i'm going out i want to do i want to i want to complete something on my bucket list before i go water slide it is i mean there's a water park right here did she have goggles on and a little a little snorkel like she looks like ogre ogre magie with this with this fucking

inflatable thing she's ready so um someone in the comments wrote so now we know that it doesn't matter if cows are slaughtered or if they escape. Either way, they have a good chance of becoming sliders. Oh, very good. Very, very good. Well done. You've ruined this. Such a wholesome story. Now I'm angry.

Oh, I did get some messages this week as well. Right. If you want to get my emails again. Direct emails. Actually, this one was an Instagram message from Olivia. She said, Hello, Perion. Huge fan of the Trifor again. Direct emails. Actually, this one was an Instagram message from Olivia. She said, hello, Perrion. Huge fan of the Triforce.

Thank you. I noticed in one of your latest podcasts, you were talking about stem cells. That was a couple of weeks ago, I think, talking about stem cells. She is doing her PhD in stem cell engineering. And thought we might be interested in knowing that using embryonic stem cells is actually only a small area of stem cell research. And they use adult, forgive me the pronunciation, mesenchymal stem cells is actually only a small area of stem cell research. And they use adult, forgive me the pronunciation, mesenchymal stem cells, which are found throughout your body,

throughout your life, mainly in your bone and fat tissue. They're easily harvested and commonly used. And her research is looking at whether you can use vibrational stimulation, which they call nano-kicking, to stimulate stem cells into producing bone cells. And that way, someone's getting older or they're an astronaut or something like that, and there's going to be a loss of bone density. You nano-kick their stem cells, and it gives them better bones. Holy crap.

And there's a ton of applications, and it's nowhere near as controversial as people think. There's still a lot of it going on. Goddamn, Olivia. How many stem cell wikis do you have open at any given time on your second monitor that's insane uh good best of luck with all that um glad you're doing it it's not me because i don't know what the fuck you're talking about so uh there you go amazing there are people out there studying this shit here we are proclaiming that it's controversial

when it's not only a little tiny bit of it is but you know what do we know this is why you shouldn't come here looking for truth just opinion and a bit of a chuckle mrs beaton's cookbook there you go i remember it well done my kindergarten teacher mrs beaton that's crazy oh god um i just want to do i know we don't do shout outs normally but i told a guy i would do a shout out to him so james from the iq store a big shout out to you thanks for uh saying hi we were late night shopping and i didn't really want to look at what everyone else is looking at so i wandered into the iq store to pretend to look at phones it's like an apple reseller a local apple reseller james came up to me told me he has small penis and said he likes the podcast and i said all right and then he said can i have a shout out please and i said okay and i almost forgot but because we're doing all this

like guff at the end i just thought it was a good time so there you go james i remembered somehow right it's a miracle that's great yeah well that's very nice of you sips all right thanks everyone we'll see you next week so be sure to tune in and support the Jingle Jam Jingle Jam because that's happening this week oh yeah so get on board don't forget there'll be a Triforce Live

on Jingle Jam and we've got some cool stuff planned alright take it easy bye