Triforce! - Triforce! #199.4: The Big, Dumb Christmas Quiz

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

Triforce! Episode 199.4! Lewis has been watching way too many game shows and creates the first Triforce Christmas Quiz! Who will win? Sips or Pyrion?! Visit http://joinhoney.com/TRIFORCE to get Honey for free. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everyone, and welcome back to this Triforce podcast. I almost said special Triforce podcast. P-Flax, hello. Well, I mean, come on, you're not wrong they're all special in their own way right all 200 of them wait we're not quite at 200 we're at 199.3 or 4 or whatever all 199.3

episodes well there's going to be a live episode but also we don't know what we're doing over Christmas so I thought since it's nearly December we could record a special podcast that will go out if we happen to miss a week. And if we're consistent, great. Everyone will just get a bonus podcast.

But if we are in trouble, I want to make sure people still get a little bit of a little bit of sips. A little bit of P-flats. Some of this stuff, yeah. A little bit of Christmasips. A little bit of pee flax. A little bit of Christmas entertainment. So I've got some Christmas quizzes, and I'm going to quiz you two. Oh, my favorite. Fuck, I love quizzes. I'm leaning back in my chair.

I'm having a sip of Huel to give myself brain energy. Oh, my God, man. Holy shit, this guy is ready to rock and roll so we're gonna begin with general christmas knowledge right yeah and then we're gonna do after that we're gonna do more tv focused oh that's where i'm gonna really shine man i love tv let's go so if you're bored on christmas day what is your star sign? Oh, it's not Capricorn, the lion one. Aries? No, maybe it is Capricorn.

Aries is a goat. I'm Aries. Leo is a lion. Leo, you're Leo. You're Leo if you're born. My dad is Taurus. Is it Leo? I'm going to say you're Sagittarius're leo if you're born that is taurus is it christmas i'm gonna say you're uh sagittarius because nobody's okay well in fact you were right first tips you with the capricorn so

oh you both get zero points come on i should get half a point for no but you had to go with your final answer and i think they should modernize capricorn and just make it capri sun like come on they should they should um well i was always told they move as well because originally i was a libra but i'm like apparently now i'm more of a scorpio i'm like a nacho libra what they need they need they all need to be updated so you that what you're saying? Yes. Holy shit. And Leo should be Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, baby. The one and only. Holy shit.

Yeah. They blend together better that way. Anyway, though, I watched, unfortunately or fortunately, I watched a couple of crappy ITV shows. I watched Tipping Point for the first time. Have you seen Tipping Point? Remind me of what it is. Oh, my God.

It is so low budget. Did you ever go to those seaside arcades with the coin pushers? Yeah! I went to the bowling alley two weeks ago and my daughter was playing one of those coin pushers for like an hour. Oh, they're so fun. They are. So imagine someone went to the ITV and was like, hey, I've got this great idea

for a quiz show. You know how everyone loves those coin pushers? We got one of them, right? And the contestants have to answer questions. And if they answer a question correctly, they get a coin to put in the coin pusher. And then any coins that come out are worth 50 quid each. Oh, okay.

So it's that. They've got this giant coin pusher, which of course is this unwieldy machine, right? Where it's clearly all of the sound effects of it are done in Foley because they have all of those scraping of the coins and the falling, the choking of the coins

and the ching, ching, ching, ching, ching of the coins coming out. All so badly and lazily done. The whole thing is awful. What time of day is this on? It seems like a 4.30, 5 o'clock kind of show. Yeah. I mean, it's one of the...

I mean, they give away next to nothing on this quiz show as well. It feels like people at best are going to win maybe £1,000, but at the end, they can gamble it, which is one of these things where you can either go home with nothing, because this is the thing now, right? It's like gambling is tied into all these quiz shows, right? Yeah. Everyone has to make a sort of gambling decision and and and i don't know like it just it looks like it's made

in a cupboard as well like the whole thing and the machine even the machine looks like it's held together by sellotape but like i could imagine the production staff is about two people no they often are like it they look it looks all glitzy and glam on the tv because of the lighting but like behind the scenes man that thing is falling apart for sure like if they look it looks all glitzy and glam on the tv because of the lighting but like behind the scenes man that thing is falling apart for sure like if they did a documentary on it there'd be they'd have the technicians like whoa yeah well the big show we weren't sure if old betsy was gonna be ready because we had to tape her together and put some more bolts in her and stuff like that's always the same the same story with those in my in my experience

the other one i watched was the chase well not the chase beat the chasers have you seen beats the chasers i've heard of it um uh is that the one where they have to run away from people who are like um surveying them with uh you like gps and everything they're tracking them kind of no oh which one's that that's exactly what i thought it was the great escape no it's basically itv's version of eggheads so obviously the eggheads became little celebrities on their own and i think that's still going have you seen eggheads you know yeah yeah yeah yeah but it's that so one guy comes in and there's five what they call chasers right where these are quiz experts and they've all

got like scary names so one of them is called the beast and there's also a leader there's there's a black lad called the dark destroyer that's right and people have questioned well that doesn't seem very fair but that's his name that he he wanted to be known as the dark destroyer what was that fucking show with uh with noel edmonds like not i I don't want to say recently because it's like, you know, probably like a bank or one. Deal or no deal. Deal or no deal. What a fucking weird show. Like, how much time did the contestants spend with each other?

Because they all seem to have this really odd rapport with each other. Yeah, and they had like these dumb nicknames for each other and everything. And the whole thing was so fucking creepy. It felt like a cult. Yeah, it did. It really did, yeah. It's because it's cheaper to get the same people back, like, multiple. They don't get a brand new set for 25 every time and have to teach them how it works.

Oh, they keep using the same ones. Yeah. Yeah, well, this sort of happened in quiz shows. Like, with Pointless, I remember I used to watch that. And they would allow people two chances, right? If you got knocked out in the first or second round oh you could come back and you could you could be the reigning champion as well right like they kept the champions i think they would have a special where it was all previous winners they do that in countdown yeah yeah in certain quizzes and it saves the amount of contestants you have to get

on holy crap uh speaking of countdown i i somehow watched it i watched countdown the other day because um oh yeah because i got the the floor redone in the garage so i couldn't get into the garage all day so i was uh my wife had tv yeah well yeah well my wife had some appointments and stuff so i was home with the baby and uh we watched uh steph's packed lunch which was uh and and also Countdown was on as well and I was like holy crap oh my god okay but the

the sort of dynamic between Anne Robinson and well pretty much anyone but specifically in this case what's her face Rachel Riley Rachel Riley is so fucking awkward you can tell they hate each other like well i think ann robinson by default just hates everybody but like i don't think they work well

together or anything and they're constantly like sniping at each other and stuff it's it's interesting but man it's like kind of hard to watch robinson is is a terrible presenter she's the worst but she didn't used to be, because she used to do points of view. She looks like a reanimated corpse now as well, like, because she's, I don't know, like, what- Or so did Nick. Nick looks like a ghost. She looks like one of those horrible dogs in a cave, in a glass cabinet in the

circus, you know what I mean, that tells your fortune. I think she just needs to retire, man. Like, she's just, it's, you know, she's had her time on the weakest link and and whatever else she's done or whatever but come on like get somebody this has got it 2022 let's get a petition together we need a new host for countdown come on enough is enough like we're just not going to stand for it anymore right i just i just know maybe rachel riley wants her job i well i love rachel riley's really good at the job she does right now she's just like a human calculator it's insane but like anne robinson just brings nothing to the table but she's like

she's horrible like yeah i hated her on the weakest link because she's like if you're gonna be mean to people to their face and like flame them it's at least gonna be funny no and otherwise it's just awkward you're just watching someone yeah not only someone they don't know exactly what is going on it was so easy for them to do comebacks on her as well because she is just such a such a well just generally mediocre person herself right it's not like she has it's she doesn't have like the fucking high ground in in any sense on any of these people so it's kind of rich that she's ripping them you know like it doesn't make sense yeah it was bad so i don't know man but like yeah it was interesting because i hadn't seen countdown for like god

like 10 years or something like oh it's a great show yeah yeah it's not bad i think jeff stelling was a good choice when he did it i just think it's meant to be look countdown is meant to be like a nice cup of tea yeah have you said that you have a nice cup of tea you watch count that's very gentle and you get a chance to play along with the words and some clever clogs will solve the numbers thing i love i love the one that's like a word but they give you a clue to what the word actually is but the word is probably something awkward like wet shits here's the clue it's like it's so fucking funny man it's brilliant there's a reason that i have 10 cats does countdown is still i mean i think they've done a lot of it it's been going for 10

years now it's must have tons of episodes and you know it's clearly like a thing that is a fun chill out shitty sort of game where it's just an easy platform to mess around and have a laugh right hey speaking of games i saw um i can't remember where i saw it but they made the queens they've they've they've officially released merchandise for the queen's gambit the board game which is i guess just chess oh my god you're kidding me i know i swear oh fuck me tell me that they called it queen's gambit the board game that would be amazing oh my god there the Queen's Gambit the board game. All right, I'm going to look this up.

Is it just chess? It has to be. What else could it be? Fucking like it comes with some pills that you take and then you have to like... No, no, no. All right, so here's what it is. In the Queen's Gambit,

aka Das Damen Gambit, which is the German name, you can try to outwit your fellow players by playing with as much foresight as she did. Each of the two to four players has their own gambit which is the german name you can try to outwit your fellow players by playing with as much foresight as she did each of the two to four players has their own gambit piece that moves across the chessboard and your turns are always planned three moves in advance by laying down cards upon which on which chess pieces are depicted on your turn you reveal your first card move the gambit piece according to the card ideally capturing chess tiles in the process and then you refill your robe by placing a third card in your personal queue and you do that so you have to plan ahead like she did so it's not my bad i thought it was

just chess that would have been fucking hilarious that would have been fucking hilarious yeah is that that poor game from queen's gambit i love that show no sadly it's not it It is a 3,000-year-old game. Oh, shit. Let's move on with the quiz. Oh, man, okay. Which country, Sips and Perion, started the tradition of putting up a Christmas tree? Oh, Germany.

I'm going to say Norway. Oh, that's a point to Sips. Hell yeah, baby. I thought it was too obvious, and everybody knows it's Germany. It has to be something funky. The clue. What is the first letter in the alphabet? I'm going to say... I didn't know it was answer. Everybody knows it's Germany. It has to be something funky. The clue. What is the first letter in the alphabet? I'm going to say.

I didn't know it was Germany. Of course it's Germany. How does everyone know that? I thought it was a trick question. I take back my answer. Germany. Edited. All right.

Well, in that case, I should get one and a half points. You should. No. No. You overthought that question, B-Flex. You thought it was going to be hard. I did. But it was the second question on my list, so it wasn't going to be very hard.

Just go with your first answer. I will. Wait, these are going to get harder? Yeah, of course they are. This question was actually in a recent Minecraft map that I played. No, not Minecraft. Recent TTT map. How many ghosts show up in a Christmas carol?

Oh, okay. So there's the... Hold on, let's think about this. Because there's a ghost of Christmas past, present, and future, but there's also Marley, his older lad. Yes. That's right, yeah. So I reckon it's four. Jacob Marley. So yeah, I'd say four as well. Okay.

Well, you both get a point for that. Nice. Good deducing. Good deducing. Yeah. So that was like, you're working together now. Yeah, against the evil powers of Lewis Brindley. Well, only on the tough questions, I would say. But Sips is ahead by one P-Flex. I'm going to take the easy ones for myself.

We're chums. I'll help him out. You know what you should have done, Flax? When I said Germany, you should have just been like, yeah, Germany. Like, we should just stick together no matter what. Okay, buddy. Let's do it. Pact.

Pact. Sure. All right. In Home Alone. Yeah. been like yeah germany like we should just stick together no matter what okay buddy let's do it packed okay sure all right in home alone yeah where are the mccallisters going on holiday when they leave kevin behind isn't it paris shit yes they are yeah they're going to paris that is it is paris that's a point for each of you yeah that's right this is not how quiz shows work man home alone is like one of my specialist subjects, though. You really drop the ball on this quiz. Well, for this one, I'm going to only give a point to the person who gives the first answer, the first correct answer. Oh, come on. I'm going to spoil your teamwork.

This is a versus, head to head. Sips versus Perian. Which of you is more Christmassy? Which country did eggnog originate in? America. Okay. I'm going to say fucking Germany again. It is not.

It is actually Royal Britannia. Oh my God. Really? You don't really see it that much over here. I've never been offered it. I've never drunk it. It's super popular in North America, though. Yeah.

I remember having it a lot when I was a kid. We always get the dutch advocate which is always a good one so this always brings it from the airport apparently they have a lot of it costs fuck all as well it costs like a pound a bottle shout out to bailey's in holland um yeah i've ordered you a bottle of bailey's actually for when you come down well your own your own you've got me a bottle of bailey's there you go have you actually yeah that's so kind of you. Thank you.

I will need ice. It cannot be drunk without ice. Right, I'll make a note. Yeah, please. I'll order some of that as well. I'll tell Daph. Bless you. Bless you.

Nice, nice. How many gifts were given in total in the 12 Days of Christmas song? Oh. You're going to have to do some quick math here. Hang on. I'll get my notepad up and we'll write them down. Oh, wait. Isn't it just 12 plus 11 plus... So what is that?

That's not 12 factorial, is it? Mm-hmm. It's 12 factorial. I say 13. I'm going to say 13. That's my answer. Hang on. 23.

Oh, no. It's not factorial because that's multiplied, isn't it? So it is the thing where you just do 12. I can't remember what it is. Yeah, it's my answer. Hang on. 23. Oh, no, it's not factorial because that's multiplied, isn't it? Oh, so it is the thing where you just do 12. I can't remember what it is. Yeah, it's not factorial. Yeah, I can't remember what it's called. Apologies. I'm saying it's 13 gifts, right?

It's 13. What's your answer then, Flax? Well, it's 12 plus 11 plus 10 plus... 78. Oh, you mean... Oh, because... Wait, so you're counting the repeats? Like every time you sing the thing through? No, no, no. Oh, so you're counting the repeats, like, every time you sing the thing through?

Oh, wait, no. No, no, no. Oh, my God, including the repeats. Yeah, because it's got to be with the repeats as well, so it's not 78. No, come on. It's 12, then it's 11 plus 12, then it's 10 plus 11 plus 12, then it's 9 plus 10 plus 11 plus 12, and so on. So it's a much bigger number. I'm going to have to estimate 356. Okay, I'm keeping it simple at 13 again,

because I'm counting like anything where it's like, I'm giving you like five golden rings or whatever. That's like a package of five golden rings. That counts as one gift for me. So I'm saying 13. Let's see, why 13 though? Because you got, because the first day of Christmas is a partridge and a pear tree, right? So that's two.

And then everything else is one. There's 12 days of Christmas. Yeah. And then every other day is just one gift, right? But then partridge and a pear tree. But how do you get the 13th is what I'm asking. Because there's two on one and then 11 more, right? Oh, you say the pear tree is a gift as well as the partridge.

Yeah, partridge and the pear tree are separate gifts. No. Oh, it's not and a pear tree. It's in a pear tree. Oh, I thought it was and a pear tree. Well, if it's in, it's also and. I always thought it was and. Well, listen, I'm going to give you, Sips, half a point.

Nice. But I'm going to give P, Sips, half a point. Nice. But I'm going to give PFLAX a whole point. Why? Because it is actually 364, which is very, very close. That was close. Very, very close to your guess. That's really close. So I'm giving you a full point.

I'm not going to give you 364 points. I can't believe I got half a point for that, actually. I'm astounded. It was out by a factor of ten. Bad logic, I guess. Three-thirty, actually. In which Christmas movie does Tom Hanks, you can buy it any time, play six of the characters? The Polar Express.

Correct. Oh, wow. I was gonna say- Big points. The Lady Killers. Can you name any of the characters he plays? He plays the conductor. He plays Santa Claus.

He plays the kid. He plays the girl. He plays the train. And he plays the other kid as well. Hobo. And the hobo. And he plays Scrooge. And Scrooge.

Yeah. I was getting to those. The first three were right. And then the nexto and he plays scrooge and scrooge yeah i was coming i was getting you got you the first three were right and then the next three you just made up man i've only seen like half of the movie once so i've not seen it so wow good knowledge though thank you thank you so much thanks good knowledge shall we shall we i'll do some more general christmasy stuff yeah great quiz by the way yeah good job in which ocean is christmas island billy pacific no billy no isn't it isn't christmas island you get half a point for making me laugh i think i think it is yeah i think you're right i think it's in the pacific no it's the indian ocean oh shit okay Christmassy ocean. Do I still get half a point, though, for

making you laugh? For making me laugh, you do. This is it. You get a full point for the correct answer, but half a point if you make me laugh. Did Billy Ocean sing Caribbean Queen? Caribbean Queen! And we're sharing the same dream. Now our hearts

can't beat as one. No more love on the run billy ocean i hope so yeah he lives on christmas island holy crap he actually that's billy ocean aka leslie sebastian charles mbe man nice why doesn't he just deed pull his name to fully billy ocean like it you know you can you can uh you can relinquish the Sebastian Charles Poindexter or whatever, you know, like just Billy Ocean is a great name. Just deed poll it and hang on to it. I mean, people get their names changed all the time when they get married.

Yeah. So it is a thing that people do. It's not that hard. You know, you've got to change your credit cards, get a new passport, a driving license. But other than that, like, well, that's probably actually a bit more than that. Maybe he's got like loads of investments across the world under Leslie Sebastian Charles and it would be a real ball ache. Leslie Sebastian Charles is actually a pretty good name.

Strong name. It is a very strong name. Very masculine. Which of Santa's reindeer has the same name as the God of Love? Oh, Cupid. Vixen. Oh, well done, Sitz. Got the god of love. Oh, Cupid. Vixen. Oh, well done, Fitz. Got in there quick.

Oh, yeah, Cupid. Cupid. Donner and Donner and Dasher and Blitzen, Cupid and... I forgot about Cupid. Gary. Everyone does. It's weird, isn't it? Ronald and...

Gary and Karen. Karen. Yeah. Margaret. What do you recall? Okay, good. Here's a question that might catch you. What is Frosty the Snowman's nose made out of?

It's made out of a- Wait. A button. Oh, it is. I was thinking of the song. And a button nose and two eyes made out of coal he has a button nose oh man i was about to say carrot too but i know it's such a common thing like that was a trace yourself for sure yeah holy crap you're up to six points well done

jeez man i am fucking owning i think i'm on two what do you what's my what do you think my mmr is on this quiz like with these with this kind of point better than your d. I think I'm on two. What do you think my MMR is on this quiz? Like, with this kind of points? Better than your DOTA while it's six. You think I'm smurfing? No. You think I'm smurfing? Six.

If your MMR on your DOTA is lower than six, you're in trouble. It's almost. Which Horned figure is said to punish naughty children at Christmas time? Oh, um... Is it the Grinch? It's the Bumble. No. No.

The Abominable Snowman. It is Krampus. Oh, Krampus. It's a terrifying goat-like... That's another German thing, right? It's like some chupacabra-looking ass. Germany's contribution to Christmas was the Krampus and the trees, right? That's it.

It's frightening the fuck out of children. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the Krampus. You can imagine them just scaring the crap out of all their kids. Yeah, because normally it's just you're not going to get any presents. The Germans are like, yeah, the Krampus will kill you and eat your insides. Fuck. And you will get no presents.

Traumatized. Want kind of presents? Oh, no. That's even worse. That was a harder question than I thought, actually. Which angel, checking your biblical knowledge, visited Mary? Oh. Gabriel?

Gabriel, yes. The angel Gabriel. Oh, shit. I did not know that one i did not know that who else is it gonna be there's only two famous angels gabriel and satan that's it what about nicholas cage in uh that movie city of angles and cage nick cage are you saying that everyone in la is an angel uh no i thought that the i never seen the movie i just assumed that it was something to do

with somebody having a rough time and nick cage appears to them as an angel and just like you know put the bunny in the box or you know he just like cheers them up somehow he says something nice to them or whatever retires from acting that's not the maybe that's not the premise of the movie but thinking about it maybe that is a good premise for a movie. Trademark? Copyright? Okay, next up. December 26th marks which saint's day? Do you know this?

It's the saint associated with Christmas time. Is it Saint Swithin's day? No. Close. Very close. Is it Saint Hubert? No, it is Saint Stephen's day close. Is it St. Hubert? No, it is St. Stephen. Of course it is. Can I get half a point for doing a reference to a honored Canadian tradition?

French Canadian tradition? St. Hubert? No? No. Tell me more about it, maybe, and I'll give you... Isn't Swithin a very old name for Stephen? Didn't Swithin mean Stephen? Can I look that up?

St. Swithin. Maybe you're right. No, St. Swithin's Day is name for steven didn't swithin mean steven can i look that up saint swithin maybe you're right no saint swithin's day is friday the 15th of july okay i'm way out a little bit as far away from christmas as it could be and i miss saint swithin's day this year maybe that's maybe that's boxing day for some people though you know you're just like in australia one thing one thing leads to another. You find yourself really busy and Christmas tree's still up in July and you're just like, well, I'll take it down on St. Swithin's Day. Yeah, it's bad luck if you don't have it down

before St. Swithin's Day. Well, you know. Swithin was a man born in or around the year 800. He became Bishop of Winchester. Unlike other religious figures, he chose not to be buried in a prominent place in winchester cathedral but instead outside in a simple tomb where the sweet rain of heaven may fall upon my grave uh the legend says after his remains were moved inside um there was a great

storm and it rained for many weeks after well there you go you go. Wow, rain in England. God, he must be a saint. The poem, the old poem goes like this. Since Swithin's day, if it does rain, 40 full days it will remain. Since Swithin's day, if it be fair, for 40 days it will rain no more. Okay. I mean, I think it's easy to live in a place like England and then come up with a rhyme to do with nonstop rain because it's going to be right 90% of the time.

Yeah. Right. It's going to come true. I don't think like I'm not impressed by that at all. I just think somebody was just like that was like that was like the observational humor of the time. Right. Whoever wrote that was the Jerry Seinfeld of their time. Oh, my God.

Yes. I've been watching seinfeld and i love that observational style i mean i guess it's just been blended into regular comedy now but yeah there was a time when it was that so obviously like hey what's the deal with her what's the deal with oprah is she fat or is she thin make up your mind i mean that whole thing leno built an entire career out of basically that exact joke like yeah

I know the punchline in the 90s was almost Mark Lewinsky it's like that's it yeah and everyone was like yeah

yeah you said a thing I recognise that name what's with her I just love that that's that because people don't

it's such a strange sentence what's with you don't hear that anymore have you sentence what's with like you don't hear that anymore have you um have you been watching the the the new season of kirby enthusiasm no but i've heard it's good six episodes oh yeah it's really good it's been a really good one where are you watching it on now tv oh i've got now tv yeah there you go it's uh if you have the entertainment package for now tv i think I've got it all. Now TV was legit.

It had Game of Thrones. That's how I watched Game of Thrones back in the day. So the thing with Now TV is that if you want to watch any HBO stuff, HBO is basically in the UK Sky Atlantic, right? Yeah, yeah. And Now TV is Sky. That's how you can watch Succession, which is a great show. Succession.

You can watch The Wire, The great show succession you can watch uh the wire the sopranos all the all the old hbo greats and some of the new ones as well i will let me just say this sorry this is not no this is no this is actually sorry i meant to say to counter sponsor it it is the worst fucking platform oh it's disgusting it runs ads shows it's a service that runs ads like it's fucking stupid and you can't even skip intros you can't like fast forwarding and rewinding is really shitty finding stuff is really shitty and slow oh my god watching fucking watching those itv shows on itv hub and channel 5 app it's unbelievably so bad it's actually the worst value like 10 minutes of money streaming service the same with four you don't even get movies lumped in it's separate

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You can get an extra three months free at expressvpn.com slash Triforce. Thank you very much for their sponsorship and yeah, stay safe out there lads uh in which uh oh you know this one in which country is it tradition to eat kfc for christmas dinner japan america you're right it's japan is it it's japan oh my it's mental god it's crazy they all order this it's a whole thing it's kfc specially set up like a pre-order menu and they prepare everything for Christmas day and a lot of families have it. And it's become a viral kind of meme-y tradition there, of all things. It's mental.

I love a meme-y. And I can't believe it. It's very funny. All right. What happened? Oh, sorry. When Santa got stuck up the chimney, what did he have in his sack? When Santa got stuck up the chimney, what did he have in his sack? When Santa got stuck up the chimney, what did he have in his sack?

Man, I don't know. It was empty. It's a song or a poem. Is it the one I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus? I'm going to say nothing. He was leaving. He was leaving. No.

Well, close. He was leaving. But what would have got in his sack when he got stuck in the chimney? Oh, coal? When they pulled him out. Milk and cookies. He had soot. Yeah, coal.

Soot. Coal and soot. Very similar. He had soot in his sack. Should I get half a point for that? Oh, come on. No, you don't. Come on.

Nobody knew the answer to that one. Who puts coal on their fire? The worst question of the quiz so far. Sorry. I didn't know if you knew it. No. Which famous scientist was born on their fire? The worst question of the quiz so far. Sorry, I didn't know if you knew it. Which famous scientist was born on Christmas Day? Oh, Christopher Witte. In 1642.

Oh, not Christopher Witte. Newton. It was Isaac Newton. I should get half a point. Come on. That's topical. Come on. Give me that.

Give me that. Okay. Next slide, please. Fuck's sake. I actually watched that update. The COVID update for Christopher Whitty. Whatever. With the next slide, please.

I couldn't believe he was doing the memes. He was just doing next slide, please. As you can see, COVID is spreading throughout the known world at a rate of knots. Next slide, please. we're all fucked what pantomime does buttons appear in buttons oh uh i do know this father father christmas comes up trumps um oh it's one way he's basically jack and the beanstalk he's friend zoned by the ugly duckling the lady is it sleepingoned by the lady. Is it Sleeping Beauty? No, not Sleeping Beauty. Is it Cinderella?

It is Cinderella. You got there. I'm going to allow all of the guessing, and that puts you up to seven points, P-Flex. No, it isn't. Which is half ahead of Sips, who is on six and a half. Oh, shit. Poor old Buttons, man.

You get seriously cut by whoever the lad is in that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Do either of you, can either of you say Merry Christmas in Welsh? I'll give you half a point if you could say it in a different language to English. Oh, Fili's Navidad. Bon Noël. Bon Noël.

I'll take that, and I'll take Fili's Navidad. Got any more? Happy Christmas. Merry Christmas, Reno. I think that's Italian. Is it? Would it be Buono Natale or something in Italian? Oh, come on.

Show off. Come on. Nobody knows that. I think I'm wrong. Jeez. Buono Natale means Merry Christmas to you. It's a... Buono Natale.

It's an old song. It does mean Merry Christmas. What language was it again? Welsh. Merry Christmas. No, close. It's... Well done on the pronunciation.

Well, I don't know if it was right. We'll find out when Daph listens to this. So that means you both get half a point. So... Hurrah. Sips, you're on seven and a half, Pyrrhon, you're on eight. Oh my God.

What a comeback. I might've been doing the scores from chat. If you're listeners, hopefully you're not following. What a comeback. I mean, geez, where did this guy come from all of a sudden? Round two, festive food and drink. Oh, here we go. What is traditionally hidden inside a Christmas pudding?

A farthing. No. Oh, is it a hapney no sips um it's a uh tangerine could you fucking imagine cracking open your christmas it's all the scurvy and shit right i thought it would be some sort of citrus fruit you know no you get you get half a point but it is in fact a silver sixpence uh it's what it's supposed to be i was close but for me it was 20 p's when i was a kid um 20p pieces they still make those god knows who knows i haven't seen one just a full just a full basketball i feel like i haven't seen cash i haven't had cash for ages actually now i think about it i literally haven't no one's given me cash no i've not used cash in like have you checked your paypal account recently no like physical cash i did a deposit on your birthday uh i gave you

yeah because i didn't want to put cash in your card that's disgusting so i just uh just did a paypal you sent him money like a young nephew yeah no i did yeah check your paypal he doesn't know what my paypal is you should be you should be uh you you should you should check your balance and be half a swedish krona no no no i sent you i sent you five pounds like i do every year five pounds very annoying come on he's gotta go buy his penny whistle and his uh simpsons comic like it's tradition my uncle john always sends me a pound um one pound nice stuck to a card as he calls it ice cream money but it's like an old joke you can't even get ice cream with a pound

anymore because that was when i was a kid that pound will get me ice cream. Is he an ice cream for a quid still? I guarantee you. He's 91, Uncle John. No, even the 99s. The 99s with a flake aren't even 99 anymore. They're like 139 or whatever. Right, I'm talking, you could get a fab, I reckon, for a quid. Oh, yeah. I reckon you could still get something for a quid. You probably can.

It'll be pretty small. It'll leave you wanting more for sure. Yeah, sure. Which tin of chocolates would you find the green triangle? Oh, Quality Street. Very good six. Yeah, I was going to say Quality Street. I was touching you by roses.

I was debating whether it was Quality Street or not. See, there was no debate in my mind. I knew straight away. Well, that's the one which I ate and had peanuts in, I believe. At least it used to. And this was the first major anaphylactic allergy reaction I had in my life was to the Green Triangle. Merry Christmas.

Do you see the Green Triangle in your sleep looming over you? I remember laughing at you. Well, I just felt absolutely awful. I couldn't breathe. And then we had to call the emergency doctor out. And this was in the winter, so it must have been around Christmas time for Quality Street. And then I remember I was stood outside

the front of my bungalow, sort of wheezing in a terrible way. And the emergency doctor comes out and injected me in the butt with some steroids. I was okay. Right there in the street? Yeah, right there, just straight in the butt. Maybe it wasn't outside.

Who knows? I remember it. My knows? I remember it My mum will probably remember it very differently. How old were you? Oh, I was young. I was like seven or eight Yeah, so you had not you had not had a peanut like before that time in your life I had oh and I had I had irritated me and I didn't like it Right, right just kids have lots of reasons, but they don't like I'm allergic to you. Yeah Right. Right? Just kids have lots of reasons why they don't like stuff.

Maybe I'm allergic to you. Yeah. That's half a point. Somebody's gonna have to give me an anal injection in a second as well, for my allergies. Stop it! Oh, for fuck's sake. Alright, next question. In the film, Christmas with the Cranks-

Yeah. Never heard of it. Which tinned food item is Nora Crank fighting for in the supermarket. Spam. A canned turkey. It's close to the first one, you said. It's like a meat thing. It's hickory honey ham. That's the one.

That's the one. I've never heard of it. I'm sorry. It's a Tim Allen movie. It's a book. I think it's like a John Grisham book or something. And Tim Allen stars in the movie. sorry it's a tim allen movie it's a book it's i think it's like a john grisham book or something and tim allen stars in the movie and it's about christmas it's about people it's about people that don't want to celebrate christmas they decide one year to not celebrate

it at all right and uh all of their neighbors go insane like they can't believe that these people are just like opting out of christmas or whatever and that's the whole movie so it's like an anti-christmas movie so i don't know why they would show it at christmas time you know kind of for those of us who have had enough yeah but come on you're not allowed you have to be a good citizen you got to go out there and you got to buy all the stuff and whatever you know like otherwise they'll hunt you down they will in food uh questions stollen is a fabulous christmas confection that comes from which country germany it is germany pflax i mean that's the answer okay what i'll give them that i'll give them that but i mean you got there quicker than you yeah i suppose

but like jeez uh what roughly how many turkeys are consumed in the UK every Christmas? I want to answer from each of you. I'm going to say like, I'm going to say 50 million. What's the population of the UK? I'm going to say 49,999,000. Right. Well, you're going to lose half a point for trying to game it. Oh, all right.

Well, then I'll give you a real guess. I'll give you a real guess. 20 million. a real guess 20 million it's actually about 10 million oh gosh it's low i thought it'd be more than people people share you don't buy a turkey for every man woman and child in england do you no but i mean some people double up you know like they don't nobody nobody wants more than one turkey well but the other thing is People want the crown right They don't want all the other bits So you probably end up killing more to get It's probably a lot of throwing away bits of turkey

Because you've got to find the king turkey to get the crown And you have to work your way through quite a few of them Before you find him I see you're going to have to kill a lot of low level turkeys This isn't the king turkey Kill another What percent of the uk's entire brussels sprout sales are in the week before christmas like yeah i'm gonna say 86 percent you think 86 percent of the yearly Brussels sprouts are in the week before Christmas.

They are the worst. It's the worst tasting food of all time. I'm going to be contrary here. I love them. Oh my God. Do you eat them at other times of year? No, because I'm the only one who likes them in the house.

But I love sprouts. In fact, it is 25%. It's still a lot Obviously It's not as many as you Went for You said 86 Motherfucker I was closer than you

That's hilarious Neither of you were anywhere near I was closer I was much further Sprouts are the worst, though. God damn. They're so good. Listen, cut them in half, and then you put them in the gravy,

and all the channels in the mini cabbage that is the sprout soaks up the gravy. It's so fucking bitter, though. Even with the gravy. And sometimes people are like, yeah, but just put butter and bacon. Okay, well, yeah, fine. It's just going to taste like butter and bacon then. You can't even taste the sprout anymore.

No, I don't even do that. Just a straight up sprout? Oh, they are the worst. I love it. But that slight bitterness. And Mrs. F says they taste like blood. That's what she thinks they taste like. I don't know why.

They've got kind of a metallic-y, bitter-y taste. Yeah, yeah. They taste like blood. That contrast's weird. What's Krampus done to you eat your krampus sprouts everyone oh yeah no they're not my favorite sprouts for sure love them shout out to any other sprout tell you what though some some nice some nice carrots and gravy though mmm carrots anything with gravy yeah we've been through this we'd like not ice cream not ice

cream gravy no so tv okay here we go when this is round right now when ross can't find a santa outfit yeah by the way you've each got 10 points oh wow wait ross can't find a santa outfit in time for christmas what does he dress up as instead oh he he wears like superman he wears like a like a spider-man costume or something right no no points to be there it's in fact holiday armadillo oh yeah how could i forget fuck that so stupid the uh which british monarch delivered the first ever christmas message oh it was uh queen victoria i'm gonna say george v it was george v oh shit queen victoria was long dead uh it was on telly sims uh so it was i thought maybe she should could have just like uh you know stood up on a podium from beyond the grave penny farthing square or whatever and

just done a done a speech like that could have been a good delivery mechanism they didn't have they spend their time back then we're lucky we get a peep out of her at christmas hopefully god bless her i hope she's all right your majesty she's got a sprained back she had a sprained back lat for for remembrance sunday so use those carry lift with your legs not your back yeah who was killed off in 2012 downton abbey's christmas special cliffhanger oh fuck i don't know man i've never watched that show mr darcy i don't know i've never watched you 've watched out of that but no i've never watched it i'm not lying i'm sure you watched it with your wife you told me all about it miss penny farthing from uh wobbly Bottom upon Thames? Captain Swithin.

It was Matthew Crawley. Oh, of course it was. No, not Matt Crawley. He was my favourite cast when I stopped watching. When old Crawler's got it. Goodness me. Yeah, well, he survived World War I and the flu epidemic, didn't he? And then got bumped off in the Christmas special because he left, I think.

He wanted to do other things. So they bumped him off. Anyway, the snowman was shown on TV. Do you remember the snowman? I'm walking in the air. Yes, indeed.

What year was it shown on television for the first time? 1986, I reckon. I'd say, I think it's like 1979. Oh, Sips is closer. It's 1982.

Oh. It's a point but he was in the wrong decade yeah but still closer he was technically a year closer I mean if you got a point for 85%

versus my 86% I don't think I did get a point for that come on you didn't no you didn't get no other of you got a point for that

in the Vicar of Dibley's 1996 Christmas special yeah which actor guest starred as a character called Tristan Campbell who ended up proposing to Geraldine on Christmas Day? Oh, wasn't it like...

Which Doctor Who actor? Yeah, wasn't it... Oh, fuck. What was his name? It was... Colin Baker. It's the guy that looks like Michael McIntyre, the Doctor Who guy. He wasn't in the 90s 90s was he yeah i think he

was on uh he's on whose line is it anyway he was like uh one of the uh one of the improv guys on it i think that was peter capaldi that's him i was just it was on the tip of my tongue peter hang on let me look this guy up let me see he was in he proposed to old dawn french in 1996 oh yeah peter capaldi yeah no he wasn't our blues line is it anyway at all no you know lewis capaldi i think is his nephew the singer he's very good are lewis capaldi and peter capaldi related they are related lewis discovered that peter is his dad's second cousin making lewis and peter capaldi second cousins once removed. There you go.

Cousins. Holy shit. There you go. Amazing. Which Doctor made his debut in the Christmas special of Doctor Who in 2005? The Christmas invasion. Christopher Eccleston. Oh, that's a good shout.

I'm going to go with Eccleston. It was David Tennant. Of course it wasn't. It was Christopher Eccleston. Oh, that's a good shout. I'm going to go with Eccleston. It was David Tennant. Of course it wasn't. It was Christopher Eccleston. I'm just trying to force the point here. Which Simpsons family member delivered Channel 4's alternative Christmas message in 2004? Lisa Simpson? Lisa Simpson? Lisa Simpson?

It was Marge. Marge? These are quick fire, these. Hercule Poirot's Christmas special in 2005 featured which actor in the titular role? Is it David Suchet? No, it's Anthony Hopkins. It is David Suchet. Fuck off.

That's right. Fuck that. Come on. That's not fair. Final Christmas question. Who won Strictly Come Dancing last year? that's right fuck that come on and that's not fair final christmas question who won strictly come dancing last year oh it was um december 19th last week it's that little twat wasn't it uh joe zoella's brother right joe joey maloney or whatever his name is joella jo joella that guy no you know who it was who won Strictly Come Dancing last year? No, that's why I guessed.

It was from Countdown. Rachel whatever. Rachel Riley? Yeah, she won it one year. Maybe last year. Yeah, but not last year. And she's had children with her dancing partner as well. That's her active partner was her Strictly Dancing partner.

It was Bill Bailey. Oh, Bill Bailey, of course. That's so stupid. And Oti Mabuse. her active partner was her strictly dancing part partner it was bill bailey oh bill bailey of course yeah shit ot mabuse yeah she's a she can dance holy crap yeah bill bailey cannot no i am a huge bill bailey fan od can can dance like there's no tomorrow yeah it's insane actually bill bailey did do really well in the end can i just say i was mrs f watches that show the saturday and the sunday all during the week the fucking catch-up thing with rylan whatever his name is rylan whatever rylan yeah yeah uh so i i used to really enjoy that show the first few minutes big test daily fan and i loved how well the production was put together and it was like really flashy

and everything and then i was like I've watched enough of this. I'm done. And now they've got that twat. What's his name? As one of the judges, Anton Dubek, who's just a cunt. You can bleep that if you want. I cannot fucking stand him. Pisses me off so much.

Yeah, he was a dancer. But they've lost Bruno. They lost Len. Yeah, Len and Bruno were too good. They still have, what's his face though? Greg or whatever his name is. Craig. Craig Revel Horwood.

That's the one, yeah. He's good, but I just can't stand Anton Debeck. I cannot fucking stand him. And I don't like the Rylai Lab with the teeth. I don't like him either. This show is on seven fucking days a week. And last night, last night, they fucking announced they've got a fucking podcast as well. And they've got four social media channels,

Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, just in case you miss a single fucking second. Oh, it's a big show. It's just too much. It's too much. Maybe if they do all that, you'll remember who won it last year, for fuck's sake. No, because I don't cocky watch it anymore.

Shit. Wang. Piss off. remember who won it last year for fuck's sake no because i don't cocky watch it anymore shit whang piss off so which red dwarf actor will be returning to death in paradise's christmas special this year it is danny john jules i thought i was gonna fucking ace the tv segment and here like flax is just like some sleeper TV salmon or something. Like, what the fuck? Here's one for you, Sips. Well, both of you. How old is Kevin McAllister?

Now? In Home Alone. Oh, in Home Alone, he's like eight years old. He is eight years old. That's right. Instantly. Instantly, you got it. According to 1946's Christmas classic, It's a Wonderful life. What happens every time a bell rings?

An angel grows wings or gains his wings. That's right. Every time the bell rings, an angel gains his wings. It's true. It's true. Yes, exactly. In Mean Girls, what song do the plastics perform to a risque routine in front of their school? I saw a mummy kissing Santa Claus.

I'm going to say it's Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time. It's Jingle Bell Rock. This is a Christmas quiz. I should get half a point for actually saying a Christmas song. Because Flats just... No. Hit Me Baby One More Time. You're like a fucking lawyer.

Just play the quiz stop lawyering your honor objection sustained which famous u.s political figure and celebrity makes a cameo in home alone 2 donald trump it is donald trump famously home alone yes he's in home alone 2 you're right he paid his way in or something oh bad news for trump though it was not as good as home alone one so there you go lost again uh which game of thrones star plays the lead in emma thompson and greg wise's last christmas oh um amelia clark no it's uh it's it's a king in the north guy john snow no no no sorry not john snow uh it's King of the North guy. Jon Snow? No, sorry, not Jon Snow.

It's the other guy. What's his fucking... Stannis Baratheon? No, not Stannis Baratheon. It's the guy who dies at the... Not at the Red... You know, like the massacre when... Yeah, the Red Wedding. The first King of the North.

Not Jon Snow. The other guy. Rob the other guy Robb Stark yeah him no it was what he said yeah it's Emilia Clarke

oh shit it's not a hard quiz in the Walden for a Massacre fuck what is the name of the recent Home Alone remake

this quiz has a lot of Home Alone questions yeah what is the name of the recent home alone remake this quite this quiz little home alone question Yeah, what is the recent home loan remake with with what's the name a sling be? Home alone remake with actually yeah, there is a new home alone remake and it's apparently awful I've never heard of it. It was awful. Yeah Home alone It's not good. I've never heard of it. It was awful. Yeah. It's Disney. It's called... Home Alone, the new class. Still Home Alone. 2.0.

Home Alone rebooted. It's called Home Sweet Home Alone. Okay. Well, let's... There you go. There you go. Why bother? Why bother?

Like, they could have spent money making a different movie, right? Also, the original is still popular. Just let it ride. You know what I mean? It's kind of a classic. A timeless classic. Well timeless i don't know how much like random homophobia there isn't it though like all those those movies from the 80s well like kevin says at least i'm not a homo alone

oh my god holy shit such a good And actually, that wins you the quiz. Oh, for fuck's sake. Come on. 14 and a half to 14. Oh, so close. Well done. It was very close. Oh, man. There's always very close. And on that bombshell, there's the door. Alright. Well, while P-Flex

answers the door, we will say goodbye. Thank you, everyone. You don't want to do the losers interview? Okay, fine. That's fine. Oh, fine. Maybe next year. Oh, no, God. What have you got to say for yourself? Well, you know, I trained or we will say goodbye thank you yeah you don't want to do the losers interview okay fine that's fine oh fine maybe next year what have you got to say for yourself well you know i trained hard i i thought i studied all my notes i thought i had a good strategy coming into it but it just wasn't meant to be so uh better luck next year and uh go go fuck yourself some of those questions come on i mean jeez i'm gonna ask the same questions next year and forget that i asked them and you're gonna have forgotten the answer no no i'll remember most of them yeah you know that's how i became a millionaire on who wants to be a millionaire i just remembered all of the

questions because you know they just ask the same ones eventually again you know i see it all comes right back took me like 56 tries but i eventually became a millionaire so do you want do you want to do you want to finish up, G-Flex? Sure. I'd like to say to all of our listeners over the last nearly 200 or over 200 episodes, we've lost count. Fuck you.

Simple, eloquent, to the point and stay frosty. Perfect. All right. Love you, everyone. Thanks, everyone. Bye.

Goodbye. Bye. Goodbye. Bye.