Triforce! - Triforce! #207: Dead Phrases and Stolen Bikes

Episode Date: February 16, 2022

Triforce! Episode 207! Detective Flax investigates the case of the missing motorbike and we try to remember some "extinct" phrases! Go to http://manscaped.com and use code TRIFORCE to get 20% off with free shipping. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Please play responsibly. Good morning and welcome back to the Triforce podcast, Perions. Good morning. Perions, listen out for the door. Sips is nursing a very snotty nose. Apparently not COVID, he's told me. Well, according to my LFs, it's not. So I'm just going to assume it's not.

But you never know. Your hot LFs. My hot LFs in No, it's not. So I'm just going to assume it's not. But you never know. Your hot LFs. My hot LFs in my area, yeah. Yeah, in your nasal area. Yeah. Which is tricky to do due to the nature of this naughtiness. But gosh, a cold. Wow, that does feel novel.

It does. After two years of people isolating and never coming into contact with each other never getting colds i have a cold every week now it feels like well you've got three kids now so remember that the disease vector is quite rampant even the baby has an active social life now she goes swimming once a week she has a swimming class she goes to library for like songs and stories and stuff it's like man everybody does more than me like i don't do anything it's crazy she's six months old i know i know she's that's hilarious i love that she has a better social circle than you do yeah she goes to a book club yeah she's got like coffee with the girls on a Tuesday. Yeah. They have like a flower pressing thing.

Yeah. Oh yeah. I, I know people like that who are constantly doing cool sounding stuff. Yeah. Um, and I'm just like sitting here in my pants playing another game of Dota, just like looking grumpy and watching a murder thing.

I've been watching this fucking con man thing on netflix oh yeah and this oh god there's so much of it it's just all the time these like docudrama real life things they all they vary between very serious and then sometimes sometimes kind of kind of faux serious and then sometimes just fully like faked you know they have actors doing stuff and doing little creepy bits for them. But this one, the one I watched lately was, they'd obviously done some of the recording of the interviewees via COVID, right?

And they green screened them all. So they all sat on these chairs and they green screened them. But they then green screened them into really creepy places, like abandoned mental asylums and like like horrible ruined places like the grimmest looking miserable places and this one guy got green screened i think he said he didn't want to be green screened into some creepy place so they green screened him into a bar but they did it so bad imagine all the locations were green screened like uh tarkov maps because like those all look like the worst places on earth right they it just kind of like it kind of threw me off because they were doing these interviews in these places and they just looked totally normal and comfortable as if they were in their

living room do you know i mean but but if you were doing an interview in a abandoned mental asylum you'd either comment on it or at least look slightly shifty occasionally because there's like jagged like dirty rusty pieces of metal like everywhere like dripping ceilings like it was kind of like weird anyway this one guy i think he must have been a complainer or something because you know that's how the editors and the production team fuck you is they they make you look weird or something in the post yes if they don't like you it's kind of like a waiter you know spitting in your burger apparently the apprentice the american apprentice with trump was a bit like that like really yes like when they when they floated the idea or whatever it the the idea was to find

somebody like trump not necessarily trump himself who was just kind of like uh like a centric old money you know like for like at the time sort of thing and then you know make make the show around them but like also it was kind of just a lot of people sitting around sort of laughing at whoever this person was sort of thing wow so they cut him to make him look like an asshole but it backfired and that kind of assholishness yes came through as assertiveness or some sort of yes up being yeah but like but certainly like when you you hear the guys interviewed it was like yeah I mean like you know

we knew that he was like a bit of a boob and you know we went up to like his office we were gonna film in his actual office but it was like it hasn't been touched since like the 70s it would like smelt like all moldy and shit and like there was just like old papers around and stuff like the you just like old papers around and

stuff like the you know like the den of a madman sort of thing so they had to like build sets and stuff so it's oh my god it's interesting yeah but yeah so this one guy in the documentary they put him into a bar but they made him sitting on this stool so small and so weird that he looked like a tiny little like creature in a in a toy and like like he was like a a tiny little creature in a toy, like he was like a toy in a real shop, you know? The scale was so off that it just didn't make any fucking sense. And it kind of, it was weird. Anyway, this is a documentary about Billy Milligan.

It's called The 24 Faces of Billy Milligan or whatever. And it's about him because he was one of the first sort of major split personality people and he claimed to sort of have 24 different personalities can i just ask about the whole split personality thing is it a real thing yes so but but is it is it like so people literally have different people inside of it's not something they just they're crazy so they do this this is this is an actual condition it is a real thing i feel like there's degrees of it as well right like absolutely um they talk about it a lot in the documentary and they spend a lot of time going over that people just don't believe it's real and i think it's one of these things that tends to only

happen with a great deal of trauma and it's to do with sort of almost a schizophrenic thing where you kind of box away terrible events and or or coping or deal dealing with yeah with terrible things have happened like i think he was kind of when he was a kid he was kind of abused and and kind of trapped locked in a barn and beaten and stuff like this and he developed these sort of these sort of these personalities to kind of like a naughty personality to kind of escape and a right good personality to deal with this person like he almost like he had to like put on this different face every time he dealt with different people you know the school and the the different parents and the different people in his life and so that sort of changed gradually into this this this this

this kind of strange thing where he he became a rapist and was arrested for it and put in yeah and he pleaded sort of insanity right and he had these lawyers who did this great deal of sort of study on it so the idea behind pleading insanity because i mean let's face it you are insane like if you're raping people and also committing most other like uh serious crimes but like is the idea behind pleading insanity is that you're somehow going to like escape normal punishment and end up somewhere else or whatever like it's it seems like such a trope right the whole pleading insanity thing but like what's what's the benefit of just pleading insanity like clearly you're not going to get let off like in any meaningful way from

doing something super terrible right again it's it's it's it's basically they go through this in the documentary too but it basically argues that there is not their fault because of a mental illness that there was they had an they they don't even really realize that they did it. Do you see what I mean? They can't, you almost can't take them to court because it's kind of like trialing a dog for something they did. They don't realize they did it wrong. But then what's the outcome though? Like they still get punished, right? Well, the outcome is they still get put in prison for life usually.

Yeah. But they get put in, back in the day, it was much crueler. They kind of put them in these sort of warehouses for the criminally insane. Right. It was terrible. Even relatively, you know, in modern times, these places were not very nice places to go. And I'm sure prisons aren't very nice to go nowadays. I mean, honestly, but neither are these asylums.

neither are um these asylums and and no but but in in his case the it sort of came about though at a time when there'd been this movie called sylvie which was based on a book about this person who had split personalities and i think it was it was it was in vogue right at the time oh so they think he was using a fashionable excuse yeah and anyway the documentary is really quite interesting i i i didn't hate it and and i didn't hate it 26 on rotten tomatoes well well i think they talk a lot about this sort of idea of split personality because it is so interesting right it's so like weird that someone can be this person because he said he got a lot of people on board so daniel keys for example is the author who wrote uh flowers for algernon which is a book that i read relatively recently and thought was was pretty good and it was his only book it's about

um he was a psychiatrist daniel keys and he then got involved with billy milligan as someone who was going to write his life story um and so they sort of ended up meeting a lot but but it turns out that when you sort of talk to someone a lot about their split personalities and their mental illness it makes them have makes them split more and it makes them have more personalities apparently in the documentary they talk about someone who has been studied immensely about their split personality and they now have 120 different personalities. And so apparently it's one of these things that if you just, it just compounds itself.

And so almost you shouldn't give people an excuse to, oh, can I talk to Stephen now? Or can I talk to Marjorie now? Oh, yeah, I see what you mean. You shouldn't be doing that really with someone who has this kind of problem because they usually, it doesn't help. I think it's very complicated dealing with mental illness, you know, of this kind. Or certainly these people who've had these terrible things in their life that have made them go this way.

Anyway, it turns out that Billy Milligan, you know, he sort of, it's really a strange character. He got better. He got better. He got worse. He's thought to have committed some murders. Jesus Christ. So there's more to it. Yeah. But yeah, he's dead now.

So don't worry. He's not coming to get you. It's all in the past. Thank goodness for that. It's an interesting story. Yeah. So I enjoyed that. What have you guys

done this week that was was interesting i watched all of season three of afterlife which i enjoyed oh the ricky gervais thing i didn't watch either i watched season one but i didn't watch two or three yeah is it worth a watch uh yeah i mean i liked one and two and three just came out it's the last one it ends people say it's more upbeat um than the previous two it's a very sad show it is a sad show but it's uh it's it's really well written i mean you know considering it's you know just ricky gervais writing it as well like it's it it's pretty um it's pretty remarkable honestly like i i thought it was good i don't think it was reviewed very well i think i think there's a lot of criticism of it or whatever but uh i've it was great. I've seen it as well.

I liked it. I really enjoyed it. I watched the first two seasons. I really enjoyed it. I love the scene with the fish fingers. That is my favorite scene in it. The fish fingers. So he goes into a cafe with this kid.

Oh, yeah. And he's not very hungry. So the kid orders fish fingers and chips and beans. And he's like, I'll have that as well. And the waitress is like, well, you can't have that. That's on the kid's menu. And he's like i'll have that as well and the sort of waitress is like well you can't have that that's on the kids menu and he's like well but it's on but you know it's a smaller portion you know that's why it's cheaper it's for kids and she's like no no you can't we can't order it and it's like one of those moments where you you it's like a larry david kind of curb music moment where it's it's and he sort of is obviously

his character is this kind of uh it's so satisfying the way he oh she is yeah he there's a lot of like there's a lot of sort of like subtle or maybe not so subtle sometimes commentary on on social stuff that is it's it's quite funny in the show because he's very much like fuck off you cunt like you know like you just exactly like like especially season three there's like a lot of a lot of emphasis on him just calling everybody a cunt and it's good it's funny yeah no it's it's it's almost like so cathartic though because it's yeah it's these situations where he his character is willing to just not give a shit yeah yeah about other people especially

when they're in the wrong yeah and just just call them out and so he calls out this waitress and he says well the kid's gonna have two children's fish and chips and beans right or whatever so the waitress is like oh is he gonna eat two of them is he and he's like yeah he is um so she brings them out and she puts them in front of the kid and there's this like staring moment where she like is almost like challenging him to do something and not going away and the chef's looking in from the kitchen as well like he's interested if you know he's on like staring moment where she like is almost like challenging him to do something and not going away and the chef's looking in from the kitchen as well like he's interested in you know he's on her side and then ricky gervais character just reaches across like grabs the fish fingers from the

plate shoves them all in his mouth it just crunches down in front of them both like really oh it's just so good there's a similar scene in Atlanta. I don't know if you guys ever watched Atlanta. I watched some of the first series. Oh, it's very funny. But there's a similar scene where he goes to McDonald's or the equivalent in the show. He wants to order a Happy Meal for his daughter, but his daughter's not there. So he goes in.

He's like, Kai, can I get a happy meal please and uh and and the person serving him is like uh you're an adult you can't get one he's like oh no no it's for my daughter i'm gonna take it home for you she's like no i can't give that to you like unless your daughter's here and he's like what like if i you know i need a happy meal for my daughter but even if i was gonna eat it i can have a happy meal right but like yeah yeah it's the world's gone mad in some i think it's just people people that have no idea what their actual job is yeah like the moment it varies even slightly like i've just go you can't do that because they haven't been told they can yeah and they've been given no agency in their job so you're told no most kids tend to buy happy meals an adult tries to buy a happy meal you your immediate response isn't oh that's unusual or maybe he's buying it for his kid your response is you you can't do that

that's not normal so you mustn't do it i i feel like i've i mean i've definitely said this before and i've done this before in jobs that I've had. But like, you know, like, you know, somebody says like, oh, shit, you know, I accidentally I didn't realize there was like two cans of beans, but you only charged me for one. I just like, whatever, just keep it. Like, I don't give a shit. Like, you know what I mean? Like, there's there's there's moments like that in a job job where you have to realize hang on a second like what am i yeah is this is is this a is this a fight worth taking or you know like you like knowing when to pick your battles and stuff and and and usually the right answer is not very often

especially if it's over a can of beans or a fucking happy meal i'd rather somebody get a free can of beans or whatever so here's one for you guys talking about talking about um picking your battles last uh i think was it earlier this week i think it was very late last week my neighbor's motorcycle got stolen did i talk about this on last holy crap so what like just pinched right from so get this outside his house or something 10 to 7 in the evening. Yeah. So not late.

Wow. Broad daylight. Well, if it was summer, yes. It was more like three hours after the sun went down. Yeah. It's pitch black. Oh, yeah. Of course not.

It's January. So my daughter sort of goes out to guides. And as she's on her way out to guides, she notices that the cover for my neighbor's motorcycle, which he parks in the road, covers it, locks it. The cover was on the floor and she thought that's weird. And I saw a message from my neighbor on our little road WhatsApp group. And she said, did anyone see anything? My husband's motorcycle is missing. And she was like, they must've stolen it in the last couple of hours. Everybody's checking their ring doorbell for video and everything like that. And we've got a CCTV thing around our house.

So I fired that up and wound it back a little bit. You put on your detective hat and coat. I literally did. You went down into the basement. Yeah, I did. You smoked. They got the pipe out. They got the pipe out.

Ah, yes. The case. This case is warm. We must tackle it before it grows cold. And I looked. And there you can see these two scrotes in their track suits and hoodies with their masks on and everything. Oh, shit. Coming along.

And they see the motorcycle. They wind up the cover, have a look at it, go around the corner for a second, then come back. And one of the kids, he's not old because he can barely get on the motorcycle like his feet barely touch the ground just gets on it and wheels it away fuck down into the park just gone just wheels it away two minutes later my neighbor's uh curry arrives they'd ordered the curry takeaway curry literally two minutes after uh the the motorcycle was stolen the curry arrives now my question is if you are if i'd opened my front door and seen these lads with the motorcycle i might i didn't even honestly we didn't even know this motorcycle belonged to our neighbor it could have been like honestly i'd never

seen him use it obviously he used it but i'd never seen him using it i had no idea they owned a motorcycle um right even though it's parked outside it's just one of those things i don't think they've had it that long i don't think he's used it that much. So that was my thought, that they'd followed him back. You live kind of out of the way. I know that. It's not on a main road. No, it's not on a main road. So they wouldn't just be driving by, right?

There's no through traffic at all. Right. But they can get to a park very quickly. Right. Or sort of like an area where you're sort of not on a road at all. So I have a feeling that what they've done is just wheeled it off into the park.

So my neighbor was like, I reckon they've hidden it under some branches and they'll come back for it at night. And I was like, that sounds a little bit outlandish for me.

Yeah, I don't think that's what people do. The next night, it turned up and they'd gone into Twickenham and there's like a waterfront area in Twickenham and they'd just obviously

been riding it up and down there at night off their tits on ket and balloons or whatever the kids do these days and just smashed it up a bit and just left it. How did they get it going? This is the question. I do not know. So whether it's just that

easy to hotwire a motorcycle, whether my neighbour accidentally fucking left the key in it or something, I don't know. But essentially they found it. So I was like, stealing it was bad enough.'t know um but essentially they found it so i was like stealing it was bad enough the fact they weren't even stealing it to sell for something important like drugs something important or hookers or something you know they're just literally nicking it to fuck about with it for an evening and then dump it and you think that's so

fucking shit like that is really shit i love the kids are doing this thing, still doing it. But what would you have done if you opened the door, if it's your motorcycle? That's the confrontation. Because there were like three of them. Look, that generation's different. They've got Fortnite now and stuff, right? But they're still choosing to go out.

Nothing changes, P-Flex. So you're happy that they're out and about? No, I'm just saying I'm glad that, you know, in the hundred years, it gives me, you know, reassurance that there's still going to be, long after I'm dead, hundreds of years in the future, there's still going to be scumbags yobbing around the street who are 14-year-olds wearing Burberry, fucking stealing people's shit from outside their houses.

No, I mean, nothing's ever going to change on that front. Do they think that these motorbikes just like a part of like a tree do you mean they just they spawn randomly around that comment we finish going trees do they do they just walk around until they fucking find one because it feels like you know they must cover a lot of ground to find so that's exactly what they do um you you can see like when you see these lads walking around you think i've never seen that lad on my road he doesn't live on this road i wonder what he's up to and it feels bad but the point is they are literally scoping it out and multiple times we'll we'll have video that people have shown of like they've had all their their bicycles nicked from their shed uh sometimes from the little lockable shed in the front garden yeah and you'll see on the ring doorbell footage

that we know everybody's sharing this shit around like neighborhood nosy watch you'll see oh yeah there they are at four o'clock walking about they stop they have a nose about they go away they come back at midnight and they nick it all so that's exactly what they do like they these guys walk around there's multiple people you'll see walking around testing the handles on everybody's car doors all the way up and down yeah like these there's just this is what they do this is like their version of how the office is they walk around the neighborhood until they find some opportunity out the neighborhood yeah it does boggle the mind though that they don't have like a quick they don't have a plan for this right that they it's almost just like their their

boring existence it's i watched this viral youtube video which i'm sure a lot of you have seen already because it was it was just it went viral about this guy who was kind of living in sticks in america and his youtube he was a youtuber and his some of his gear got stolen so he had like a bit of a farm and a bit of land right and this sort of this this this guy turned up oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so we had some crossbows and some weird stuff right you've probably seen it and it was amazing really because obviously the guy turned up and spray painted the camera that he saw obviously after he'd been caught on it right a bit weird yeah and then but also missed another like two cameras that caught him from different angles you know it was and so anyway he drove he drove up to this sort of farm

had a peek around realized there was um sort of some stuff that he could just grab and so he sort of boxed it all up put it in his truck and drove off and what of course what this guy had done is he bought these apple eye tags yeah um which one of my friends got on his keys and when we actually went out with him last week and uh he was like i'm gonna throw my keys on the floor uh the floor and you can see if you can find them. So he went off. I don't know why he did this, just to show me how cool they were, I guess. And it was like, it basically pings you. And so I tracked down his keys.

They were in this bush about two minutes walk away in this park. And I was like, damn, it's very impressive how the eye tags work. But by the way, these eye tags are also used to like some bad stuff as well. But, you know, like to track people's wives and to like, you know, to keep control of people. Like when Spider-Man would always,

he'd always shoot one of those little spidey tags. He also has his family and his friends all have one. And so it's like an app where you can like see where all of your family and friends are at all times. You're like, oh, he's obviously going to shops you know he's at work it's kind

of a bit creepy and weird but also yeah that's sad i don't know like kind of interesting do that it is kind of interesting to see see his little because he's got like 20 people on there and you can like it's like it's almost like um some harry potter shit he's like playing Lemmings or something. He can see like everybody. Oh, no. It's like, you know what, in the Harry, remind me,

remind me of the clock that they have in the Weasley house in Harry Potter where each of the family members has a hand on the clock and it points to where they are like school,

work, and then there's one area that says mortal danger and stuff. Anyway, I thought it was quite funny. You know, if you saw someone

like standing on the edge of a volcano or something, you'd be oh fuck what's he doing there get him out said this guy's at an airport he'll be all right he's obviously getting a helicopter but no um so yeah the the eye the eye track so he tracked this guy down and sort of followed into his house and realized that of course he was he was there with all of his stuff and he'd just taken it all and put it in his barn and so they he called the police and they turned up and interviewed the guy and he was like oh no no i haven't got anything and and they were like well look you definitely have um you know the the tags are like pinging to this box you've got in

your garage and he's like oh okay and so he was like you can't come back till you get search warrants so the police got search warrant in like half an hour because obviously they had very good reason to go in there. And he was like, oh, fuck, you're back with a search warrant already? I haven't even bothered to hide it. And so then he got sort of very tearful and started crying. And he started like being very apologetic and said, oh, I'm addicted to it and I can't help it.

And all this, you know, bullshit. You know, it was very embarrassing for him, obviously. But he was obviously just a chancer guy who did this, just went around and nicked stuff and didn't even have a plan to sell it or get rid of it, just wanted it, wanted it, just saw it, thought it was a, knew it was someone else's, but thought it was kind of abandoned or something

and just thought he'd take it.'s kind of terrible really but i think what happens is people do it once get away with it and just think i'm i can get i can look how easy that was i've gotten away with it and then they get away with it until they don't but yeah uh it was a really interesting thing i think that is a thing that you could see on on youtube you know someone would set up like a motorbike outside their house with dog poo all over it or whatever um jeremy in order to like you know trick local idiots into you know there is a bit of that on youtube i've noticed some like channels that kind of want to trap thieves yeah or trap scumbags with things like that right there's like setting up, it's almost like the anti-scammer thing.

You know, there's a lot of people, because there was a couple of popular Twitch streamers who would, you know, try and waste scammers' time or get scammers to like, you know, keep up, like drag them along or even like hack the scammer, hack their computer and, you know, give them a taste of their own medicine type thing. And so, yeah, it is very kind of, I don't don't know like i don't want to say cathartic but what do i mean where the the

scammer gets scammed it's very kind of justice it's like satisfying to see these these people go down right but also at the same time it's kind of kind of awful right like that these people get trialed by internet like that guy now who's been the victim of this thing is now sorry not the victim obviously the the perpetrator of this the guy who nicked the guy's stuff you know his face is all over the internet and you know obviously a hundred hundreds of people will know who he is all of his friends and community have kind of alienated him and some would say well he deserves it but is it disproportionate how the the internet's response could be you know affect his life based on what he did i don't know yeah it's a weird one it's definitely yeah it's definitely something to consider uh yeah certainly like you know watching billy milligan and seeing how his fame you know because he he became so

famous that it sort of gave him all of this power billy milligan he was the 24 the the flipping the multiple personality guy you know he got obviously super successful and so as a result he had so much personalities got famous the other one had no idea yeah the other one was just like at home who's billy milligan eating macaroni didn't have any idea what was going on who the fuck is this Billy Milligan I mean it got him even more messed up

because they eventually he ran away from prison well he wasn't in prison he was in like various insane sites he ran away

and they gave him a cover name you know like a witness protection kind of one of his legal guys set him up

with an alternate personality like they gave him like a different identity and he lived as a different guy for some time. I mean, if you're already a guy who has split personality,

I feel like the people inventing new ones for you is like the icing on the cake. It's just enabling. It's so funny. Before we continue, can I get a round of applause everyone today i'm excited to announce that manscaped have launched their ultra premium collection that's right it's for

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Traditional phrases, right? You know, like old phrases going out of fashion. They did a poll of under 50s, okay? And, I mean, we're under 40s, just about. Let's just pretend. But I wanted to check with you, Sips, and PFLAX at some extent, if you recognize these phrases and what they mean.

Right. And would you use them in everyday conversation? Are you thinking I'm more likely to recognize them? Yeah, maybe FLAX. This is more likely to recognise them? Yeah, maybe flack. This is more of a flack thing, maybe. Because, I mean, some of these might be British-specific as well. Oh, that's true, yeah. So these are all phrases that are endangered,

which means that 50%, at least, of people under 50 don't recognise them. Okay, can I guess, is one of them, many a mickle makes a muckle? Because that's one my mum says all the time. Many a mickle makes a muckle. What the fuck does that mean? I've never heard that. Many a mickle makes a muckle because that's one my mum says all the time many a mickle makes a muckle yeah what the fuck does that mean well exactly many a mickle makes a muckle many small amounts accumulate to a large amount right so it's like saying look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves that kind of thing well number one or number seven on the list is a stitch in

time saves nine okay that that sounds like a really british one as well if something's about to rip you get a stitch there stitch it's not you know early when you hear stitch you just think of like mary poppins and then you think yeah it's british for sure right right a stitch in time saves nine so it's not saying a stitch in time you know it's saying a stitch in time yeah so if you get if you solve a problem early early, it stops it exacerbating later. I hope you have some North American ones on there, like, you know, life is like a box of chocolates and that kind

of stuff. I'll be more familiar with those ones. I think many a mickle makes a muckle is already out. Let's hear some others. That's already dead, that one. Do you know what I mean? No one knows that. It's too weird. It might be a bit of a northern thing. Give me some others. That's already dead, that one. Do you know what I mean? Like, no one knows that. It's too weird and too unique. It might be a bit of a northern thing.

It sounds very northern. Yeah, it does. Well, these, honestly, I recognize almost all of these, but I wonder if Sips will. Okay. This is one my dad used to say. Right, I won't recognize this one, probably. How about you give us the start, and we'll see if we know the end.

Well, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you the phrase in the way it's supposed to be said okay and then you tell me what you think that means right right so sips could do it first and then if he doesn't know it p flex you can get it okay that's a turn up for the books yeah well i i've heard this one for sure yeah a turn up for the books that that just means oh that's a that's a good result that's a good thing right like uh it's uh noteworthy. So it comes from the bookies, right? It's like a horse racing thing.

Yeah, that's a classic. Easy. Yeah, that's a really easy one. All right, next. Pardon my French. Well, that's just a cover for swearing, right? Like, say my french but uh you know all these fucker yeah 50 of people under 50 don't recognize that phrase well somehow a lot of this stuff a lot of these will have been in like older shows and stuff too right like i'm sure most of most of these um oh

my god you're so right are you like fools and horses and stuff right like so so we were doing this thing the other day and me and Simon were talking about Mystic Meg and Alex was like, you guys better explain who Mystic Meg is just in case. I was like, oh my God, you're right. We do have to. But I feel like we're full of these 90s references

that are now completely out of date. Well, yeah. But then again, sometimes you meet someone who knows them all. Sometimes you meet like a teenager of these 90s references that are now completely out of date. Well, yeah. Because now it's all like... Sometimes you meet someone who knows them all. Sometimes you meet a teenager who knows everything, all these old references. But others are like... But even we sometimes miss them, right?

Anyway. Wait, Pardon My French is in Ferris Bueller's Day Off when he's doing an impression of Mr. Rooney. That could be true, yeah. Pardon My French, but you're an asshole. He says it there. he has that on Wikipedia I'd forgotten so it is used in America

as well apparently the original derivation was literally from people using French and then saying pardon my French literally meaning

excuse me for speaking French pardon my French well that would be the double meaning of pardon my French ta mère ta coulotte ta bernac you're a shoe is that what in coulotte That would be the double meaning of my boyfriend. Tamer. Yeah. Tukulot.

Tabernak. I don't know. You're a shoe? Is that what, in kulot? No, you're a pair of shorts? Something like that? Yeah, that's it. You're a pair of underpants.

You're a pair of, like, undergarments. Yeah, I can't remember what the bad ones actually are. Selling like hotcakes. They're selling like hotcakes. Yeah, that's a classic as well it's just saying like something's popular how is that going out of

I use that every day that's a daily usage from me for sure yeah have a gander at this that's more of a London thing I always just say give us a goosey let's have a goosey. In other words, let's have a goosey.

Let's have a goosey. Yeah, these are fine. Okay, these are good. He's a good egg. Yeah, that's another one that you hear. No one says that about me. They just say he's an egg. He's a bad egg. I don't know where it comes from,

but yeah, it's just a way of saying that somebody's nice or trustworthy or reliable or whatever. I'm glad you're getting all these because they're as easy as I thought they were. I am chuffed to bits that you're getting them, in fact. Yeah, I'm chuffed to bits, yeah. What about Hollybobs? I'm going on my Hollybobs.

Ever hear that one? Yeah, yeah. That's fine. I mean, that's basically, it's close, isn't it? Yeah. Well, at the moment, I am snug as a bug in a rug. Yeah. I think that's more of an American one, right? Snug as a bug in a rug. Yeah. I think that's more of an American one, right?

Snug as a bug in a rug, yeah. Where does that come from? Well, you're snug as a bug in a rug. It rhymes. It's American, for sure. But some of these are actually super fucking old. Yeah. Yeah, looks like from David Garrick from 1769.

There you go. Yeah. A bug is an old English word that means like a hobgoblin or something? Or is it to do with a scarecrow? God. Apparently the early use is, he sits as snug as a bee in a box. Snug as a bee in a box?

Never heard that. Doesn't have the same pizzazz as snug as a bug in a rug. No, it doesn't. It's weird how certain catches on. It goes back... Anything you look at, any of these old proverbs,

you can just keep taking them back in time. There's one from the 16th century where he says, snug as pigs in peace straw. Snug as pigs in peace straw. I don't know. It's not the same, though, is it? It's not got the same cadence.

It's different. Let's just do some of the harder ones. i feel like go on then feel like this is it i'm feeling confident now i mean i've known all of these so far me reading out this list is a little bit like pearls before swine oh i've never heard that one before you've never heard that before that's that's definitely going that's a new one yeah you don't hear that one well that that means basically like uh giving something that's sort of uh fancy to someone who's not going to make a use of it, basically. Right. So it's sort of like. Yeah.

Pearls before swine is like saying, you know, you show a pearl necklace to a pig. They ain't going to give a shit about it. It's basically. Yeah, exactly. It's wasted on them. It's wasted on them. Like that time Onslow won the ticket on the Qe2 or whatever the the luxury cruise ship remember and he turns up in his fucking uh wife beater shirt and uh with the stains on it and his hat remember keeping up

appearances yeah sure yeah yeah i guess it's like the same right yeah i guess remember remember hyacinth is like mortified because she wants to like get to know the captain and stuff because did you watch this recently no not recently like it's just it's just because i've heard you reference this show previously it did not stick in my mind anywhere near as much as it clearly stuck in your mind well i don't know i haven't seen it recently but i just like the show it's just yeah but that's what i'm saying it's like you remember you're like do you remember hyacinth was trying to win every cup like he must have watched this show a lot no it was on tv like big thing it was just memorable a while back and it just it just i don't know i just always remember it being a particularly funny episode i don't

remember every episode i don't think i've ever watched a full episode of it it's the same thing with with fraser as well like i've watched probably certain episodes 10 times and then not another episode because it was on every morning like before school but they just repeated it for years it's on channel four every day the current uh the current part of the storyline that it's up to it's like the later episodes because niles and uh daphne are married but now they're it's like the it's like the the ross and uh frazier stuff is starting as well where they're like where she is like in love with them or but they've slept together at some point how did how did seinfeld and frasier continually get the hottest women in the world interested in them day after day it's crazy right it was it's

and george as well george and seinfeld george used to get dating the hottest women ever and i'm like what we want yeah well i mean it's look in real life though sometimes you're out and you see like just like the this big fucking nerd with like a with a hot babe and you just think they're normally rich like at least they would have something yeah i guess so but like i like i don't know damn is that you sips from the internet what is what you do with that hot ass babe geez that's how i see it you know my wife you're i do it's all pre-internet dating it's all pre-internet dating. She is a good one. It's all pre-internet dating. Yeah, that makes sense actually.

You can't just go through a huge list of people and pick the hottest. Like, you meet someone, they seem pleasant enough, you think, yeah, right. Because how often do you meet someone? That was the famous thing in New York is it's really hard to meet people. Whereas now I'm sure it's easy to meet people, it's just hard to meet when you want to have anything to do with. Yes, let's not get started on that. But also, here's a good phrase i guess the pearls before swine is going out of fashion because people don't like to call other people pigs

you know because they're like are you calling me a pig yeah you know whereas it's not really that fucking pig you fucking call me a fucking pig nail your colors to the mast yeah don't sorry don't that's a famous one this one i've heard yeah it's not commonly used though i would say that this one is probably on its way out right but i have heard it before what do you think it means i i always thought it meant um that you you don't want to give away too much of of uh of yourself like you don't want to reveal too much yeah um whereas to say that he's nailed his colors to the mast is like standing his ground and say this is my position on this and you know you might want to keep your cards closer to you don't want to over commit you don't want

to overextend definitely it's kind of usually something which has been irreversibly they've irreversibly committed themselves to yes yes and then there's no way out sort of thing it comes from uh the naval tradition of like making sure you couldn't run up the white flag you're nailing the colors to the mast which means you're going to fly your colors because when you strike your colors and bring up the white flag you're surrendering and if you nail them to the mast you're saying we ain't fucking done here boys like can you imagine that the fight starts and the captain's up there with a hammer and now you're like oh fuck he's done he's actually said it means you're going

down yeah you're you're you're you're not gonna surrender that's it yeah you're you're going down or or not oh by the way let me tell you about this dream i had last time this is this is i don't normally do dreams but this was weird right uh i dreamt that um i was on board a ship and the captain of the ship was a labrador. Was it the QE2? No, it was like a naval ship, like, you know, the Napoleonic era, Trafalgar, you know, all that kind of thing. And the dog is the captain. He's got the full hat on the regalia and everything. And the crew were like, huzzah for Captain Dog.

And the ship's coming along. And one guy's like, Captain Dog, we have spotted the French fleet. And because he's a dog, he just says nothing. He's just staring straight ahead. And they're like, should we keep going, Captain Dog? He just says nothing. And then they keep going. And one of the lieutenants is like, yes, the captain is right. We shall sail into them without changing direction.

We shall pay them no heed. And they just keep going. They're getting blasted to bits. And a French ship comes up alongside them. And Captain Dog sees a poodle, because it's a French poodle, as the captain of the French ship. And he jumps over to the

ship. And the crew are like, the captain is boarding alone. And he just has sex with the poodle on the other ship. And they were like, Captain? And that was it. I woke up. Nice what what was your role on this ship i'm just watching do you want do you need some dream analysis like what does this mean no i don't need any dream analysis i think my brain just thought this is a funny idea and just

stuck it in my head you didn't think that was like a key to like ball the you know he's supporting let's go man you know no no because i'm not there i'm just like i have dreams like this quite often where i'm it's like i'm watching a movie like i'm not in the dream i don't feature right it's just stuff happening oh i'm usually a lot of my i'd say about half my dreams i'm not in them which is kind of tragic but i'm just you know i'm not even invited to my own dream someone else's dream i hate those ones where like you're like where you're you're running in a race or something and your legs just don't feel right like they're not working properly and stuff i get those a lot and and the ones where like i'm flying uncontrollably like i'm in i'm in like a

school gymnasium playing basketball and then i i start like floating around in the in the gymnasium and i can't really control myself and it's like kind of scary right like floating around in the gymnasium and I can't really control myself. And it's like kind of scary. Right. Like you've had the burping from Willy Wonka. Yeah. It's a bit like that. Yeah.

Without the burping and without your grandpa. You stressing out. Granddad! Granddad! I can't stop burping! It's okay, Charlie. Just okay, Chris. Just get it out. Just suck my car! Fuck! Just fuck! No! can't stop burping it's okay charlie just just okay chris just just fuck no oh my god not that uh that's different yeah that's how you get some personalities if you

i hate those those dreams but like i don't get them like super often but they i always remember them like they're weird ones so um it's number number three on the list of phrases that go in out fashion is colder than a witch's tit yeah that's a great one that's all the time that's it that one is used although i sometimes like sometimes you say um that's got to be a really old one though as baggy as a witch's sleeve or a wizard's sleeve you can say oh a saggy as a yeah saggy as a what about smoother than a witch's sleeve, or a wizard's sleeve, you can say. Oh, as saggy as a... Yeah. As saggy as a...

What about smoother than a baby's ass? Yeah, that's obviously here. That's an old one as well, right? A baby's bottom, yeah, that's a good one. I mean, one of the less pleasant ones I've heard is that she has a fanny like a joiner's bag. Jesus Christ. A joiner's bag. I recognise exactly the kind of one i can picture it yeah all right

how about this if i said to you pip pip what what would that mean uh it'd be like it it'd be like kind of saying um you know like um you know like you like like come on let's go like let's get a move on sort of thing or like maybe kind of like a hello ish is as well it's like well actually it's it's more it's more goodbye all right actually so you say like pip pip cheerio sort of thing yeah i always thought pip pip was used in cheerio yeah in conjunction with cheerio so yeah maybe a goodbye but it used to be more of a greeting you're right it used to be more of a greeting. You're right. It used to be more like, pip, pip. What's going on here? I mean, in lots of different languages,

like ciao could be used as like a hello and a goodbye, right? In like Italian and other like Latin-based languages, you know. Well, it's one of these things. And even like in French, you could say bonjour to say like hello, but you can also use it as a goodbye as well. I think you you could use it as both just like saying good day you know like you could say good day to somebody in english and as a greeting or or as it does sound so toffee nose to the posh sounding that there's no way that you can't get you cut the people even you know no one wants to be seen as as a as a as an upper class brit you know it's not something which very some people play off it um and and

use it to their advantage but mostly it's kind of you're seen as out of touch you're seen as kind of i don't know evil i don't know like kind of it's it for a long time. The rich Brit has been a villain in things. That is very, very common thing. And so, you know, it's not it doesn't you know, it doesn't work to be seen as too upper class. And yeah, although it does play well in certain certain circumstances, you know, we like to have an upper class voice as the pilot of our plane or as our surgeon or as our prime minister you know but but other than that i think um yeah it's definitely i can see that disappearing pip pip you don't really get that in north america right like i guess like the equivalent would have been like uh you know somebody with an accent like frazier's but you you don't really hear that that often right it's not uh

yeah yeah yeah but like for the most part like if you're on a plane or whatever it's always like ladies and gentlemen this is your captain todd howard ladies and gentlemen we got him you know like it's like that sort of sort of thing right like it's well that's the american equivalent to pip pip no it's no it's like you know in in uh in britain you'd have like if anyone said pip pip to me i'd be like god where are you where are you from like lewis was just saying you know you kind of like it like that like uh you know like a plane pilot or like a narrated or something it would be like you know it sound like uh you know david attenborough or something like that you know like very very sort of like old and posh but like i don't think in north america you don't really have that you know i could be wrong more people yeah maybe i don't know maybe

maybe in your local area you say pip pip to one another and you'll call it and you keep it around i don't think anybody's really pip pip i could be wrong on that one i'm not super in touch uh but you know what sips of plex? You really know your onions. Thank you. Well, thanks very much, Lewis. That's what Alan Partridge says when he's having sex with that woman in the dark. Oh, you know your onions, he says to her. Oh, man.

That's good. You know, the most recent series of alan partridge they they've been pretty funny honestly if you haven't seen too cringy for me i couldn't they are super funny still yeah i'm happy with it i i could deal with it although i but yeah i i have sometimes that's the same with curb though i think in certain other things like like certain episodes the most recent season of curb was insane it was so funny though it felt like it was kind of like back to form, you know? Yeah. With Irma and the pool fence and everything.

So good. Yeah, I haven't watched the late series yet. Oh, man, it's very funny. There's some really, really funny parts in it. Funny characters and shit. It's really good. Sips, do you know that a nod is as good as a wink? Yeah, I love that one.

No, I never heard this one. A nod is as good as a wink i love that i never heard this one a nod is as good as a wink to a blind maid i think it is yeah or a blind horse this is i'm unfamiliar with this one not as good as a captain i am unfamiliar with this one uh yeah it's it's actually in like the nudge nudge nudge nudge say no more that's all monty python stuff right like uh yeah well it was like that was a sketch where they had this yeah just string in the pub yeah yeah he was the other guy was very confused and it got more and more ridiculous i guess like a like a like a more recent sort of version of that was the the suits you sir thing right from the fast show like uh yeah but like it was all uh it was all like innuendos

exactly and so it's it's kind of the context is that it's it's something something borderline illegal or some sexual innuendo is going on i don't think that's what it means is it and not as good as well it's like it's acknowledging that's that that you're ready to go yeah yeah yeah like you're ready you know that they're willing to to join you not as good as a wig like in any kind of it is very like it's a it's a sort of subtle signal that you're you're for it ready to under ready to undertake something okay yeah. Yes, and if you let me know, I'll do it. Yeah, not as good as a wink. If you get my meaning, you know, elbowing them.

Oh, yeah, say no more, say no more. Anyway, I am about ready for the knacker's yard, actually, after this podcast. That's where they take old horses. That's where they take them and they put them down. They do, and they turn them into Tesco lasagna. And a very British thing, maybe not so much now, is describing yourself as knackered, right?

Yeah, but apparently it used to basically mean that you were exhausted from having sex. Yeah, but... It used to have a more innuendo-based... Specific meaning. Yeah, whereas now it just means... Now it just means you're tired as shit. Because I remember

one time I said it. I was at a bus stop with my mum. I must have been about 12 and I said it and her and this old fellow were like laughing and my mum was like,

Teddy! And I was like, what? It just means tired. And he was like, what? So obviously from his day it did not just mean tired.

Right. It meant you'd... I wonder if that's to do with the fact that it's sort of horses that get taken to the knackers yell after they've been studs or something perhaps you know what i mean i don't know uh anyway that you you dropped a clanger there yeah you flex yeah in what way oh you mean with the bus stop thing yes yes dropped a real you dropped a clanger yeah do you do you know that sips yeah okay good But you were keen as mustard. Keen as mustard. I'm familiar with this one.

Keen as mustard. These are all fine. What about tickety-boo? Tickety-boo just means like, yeah, all good. Like it's all tickety-boo. Yeah, you've been fine with these. I've been subjected to a lot of these. He's lived over here a long time now.

I've lived in the UK for like almost 20 years so yeah i'm bound to come across a couple of them you were at least a few sandwiches short of a picnic i think we all are yeah well yeah that's quite a gentle kind of way of saying that someone's losing their marbles, isn't it? A few sandwiches short of a picnic. And saying not the sharpest knife in the drawer as well, right? Yeah. For somebody who's not too clever. Well, they're all slightly different, aren't they, though?

Because you can all use, like, it's quite a sort of gentle, contextually, it's mostly hard for people learning English to know the exact kind of context for each of those ones we drop there, right? Because they're all specific. They're all very English. They are very English in the sense that they are very, I think these are the subtle nuances of language that non-native speakers will struggle to pick up on.

So much of it is contextual. No one's ever sat down and explained to me what a lot of these things mean. You just get them. Here's a good one that I saw this is one of the comments i think on on the article uh you could say to a really grumpy looking person that they they had a face that could turn a funeral up a side street or just a face like a smacked ass yeah you got a fake face like a smacked arse swerve well the thing is that might work for a very Hot babe walking down the street

As well you know So it could be like blam She's diverted a funeral They were distracted It's almost like you know beep for tits Or whatever you know those signs I think they say honk Honk if you're horny

It would imply you could go up and go like beep and like press beep. Oh, man. Honk if you're horny. Honk if you're horny, yeah. Oh, by the way, just as a change of pace, I just wanted to drop this out there for anyone interested. I played the Blood Bowl 3 beta.

Oh, yeah. And it was dreadful. Oh, shit. Which really upset me. It's been delayed a couple of times, right? Wasn't it meant to come out a while back? Somehow, apparently this is better, but it was really, really bad.

Man, Blood Bowl 2 was infuriating, though. The dice rolls and shit like that. You need to give me some feedback, P-Flex. Tell them what's wrong with it. I gave them extensive feedback. So the game is the same. They changed some of the rules, which takes a bit of getting used to.

That's fine. But their UI, I don't know why they made some of the decisions they made, but it's really bad. Is it really clumsy? Yeah, but a lot of people said, oh, it's because it's for the console version. But if you're looking at this UI on a console screen or a Switch or whatever, you're going to see even less. So it was almost like they had never done a UI before and it's that bad. So it was actually insufferable. So I played one game. Oh, and the first time I played the game crashed on me.

And the second time I was just like, I'm done. This is just so bad. So anyway. Well, that's a shame because you're a big fan of the old Blood Bowl. I am, yeah. Like this is what my mate Munt actually said. He said it's weird because more often than not. Munticus.

Munticus. If you have a game. He's right, Munt. He is. If you have a game, people expect the next version to have a lot more upgrades. All they wanted for Blood Bowl 3 was a snazzier version of Blood Bowl 2 with the new rules

because the Games Workshop has put a new rule set out. Just have the new rule set and just pimp it up a bit. Make it a bit fancier, a bit more customization, slightly snazzier looking, better graphics.

That's all they had to do. That's all they had to do. CyberClock messaged me he's bought a little Blood Bowl team. I was thinking of getting one. We were going to paint them up. Yeah, we're interested. We've always been interested in Blood Bowl. The game is what it is. I mean, was thinking of getting one. We were going to paint them up. Yeah, we're interested. We've always been interested in Blood Bowl.

The game is what it is. I mean, you know, it's fine. Will you paint them yourself, Lewis, or will you pay somebody to do it for you? I probably will pay someone. I was just wondering. I just wanted to double check. Well, it depends.

I do little bits. I've done two armies myself. Oh, yeah. The other two armies I haven't done. Busy man. He's a busy guy. I've done three armies myself the other two armies I haven't busy man he's a busy guy I've done I've done three armies myself

yeah so I've done I do bits but I can't it's very time consuming well also I'm not very good and it's kind of

I have to I'm slowly I'm slowly learning I don't have the patience this is all my army I'm not very good but I did it you're great

PFlex and your Germans your UK boys your British boys are great we played a game it'll be out on the games night channel eventually but you should get um if you're interested you know blood ball well if you're interested you should because i think we all have um blood ball yeah ben and tom have got yeah so if you paint if you want to get one i don't want to play the desktop version i mean you don't want to play not even with the new rules no because

i'll put a pin in that it would be much more I mean I'd play If somebody else Had an army or whatever Or a team But I'm not going to Fucking do it myself I'm flogging a dead horse He's flogging a dead horse

He's going to put it There's another one Good one Yeah Yeah A bodge job That's when I paint I'm eating humble pie right now

That's all she wants We're having a good Chimwag though We're having a good Chimwag It ain't over Until the fat lady sings Thank god this isn't Just God this isn't the podcast.

That would be if we just dropped... I'll tell you what, if you want to buy a Blood Bowl team, it'll cost you a bomb, P-Flex. It'll cost you the right bomb, it will. And I'll have a leg, mate. I'll go pear-shaped. Anyway, look, sorry. So that's our podcast, I think, for this week.

Thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here with you again. And we're loving it. We've got plenty to say. We've got so much to talk about and say. We'll be back next time.

We love you. Take it easy. Yes. Be good to one another. And I will put a sock in it. Party on. Stay safe out there. There are zombies everywhere.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Okay. Cheer safe out there. There are zombies everywhere. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Pip pip. Cheerio. Bye.