Triforce! - Triforce! #21: What Happened to Robert Redford?

Episode Date: September 28, 2016

Robert Redford has some indecent proposals for the guys! We're also back with our Homebrew Sci-Fi segment of the podcast with Bodega Part Dos!   Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Today coming to you from various men's bedrooms and or garages. Yeah. How are you guys doing? It's an office. Yeah, yeah. Offices. Sorry.

Max is in the insane asylum doctor's room. I'm in my filthy dad garage which smell like eggs this morning i had to open the windows again with the egg smell why is it you don't even eat very many eggs it's actually not a garage he's in the fridge he hadn't noticed eating eggs has nothing to do with the way that my garage that was nobody was in it for like 17 hours okay smelling like that i mean you know it just it's got its own smell it's like its own beast are you sure there isn't some sort of gas leak or something like that like egg gas yeah like a sulfur like a sulfur deposit like right under my garage that just like a hot spring you

next to an ostrich farm or something a lot of eggs well now come to think of it yeah i do that makes good sense there's a field of ostriches right next to my garage what if sips is actually a battery hen and we he just hadn't noticed he's a sentient battery hen yeah and because he's surrounded by millions of non-sentient chickens none of them have told anybody and he's just chilling being this genius chicken with a youtube channel and recording a podcast and maybe so many, they just haven't noticed. What if? Man, it really smells like eggs in here, he keeps thinking.

But I mean, eggs don't smell like when they're in the shell still, right? Eggs don't smell. You wouldn't walk into a hen battery and be like, man, it smells like eggs really bad in here. You'd be overwhelmed by the smell of their poop. Yeah, it would be chicken poop. First yeah and um yeah do chickens pee they must of course they do of course they do so you'd smell a bit of that too mixed in yeah and um and the eggs feel like a battery hen anyway just trapped in a room producing videos like like with a whip yeah they're just coming out of your ass at a regular

interval yeah just pooping them out just pooping those out hoping hoping to hit the big time yeah not really seeing where they go just hoping to go viral i want my t-shirt pooping out the vids 2016 yeah yeah and on the back is a picture of you shitting out a youtube video yeah right just like really pinching it out. For God's sake. It's like frothing out. Eyes closed. He's got like really...

Whipping up into like a pile. Come on, guys. Stick to the fucking behaviour here. This is the behaviour. This is it. For God's sake. Poop talk. Five minutes of poop talk.

I don't want that photoshopped everywhere. On the topic of birds and poop talk, though, I have to say something first before we move on. I went for a walk this morning, okay? For the first time in quite a while. Did you smell any flowers? No, no. So we walked to a coffee shop, which is like about...

Is this why you were half an hour late to the podcast recording? Yeah, I started like waffling on about some stuff. We were sitting down and then I... Forty minutes late, actually. I'm sorry, but it was nice out. We went for a walk and then we were really late. Well, I'm glad you had a nice walk. Maybe you could have told us about this walk

and we would have been able to have a 45-minute walk as well. I would have napped in it. What I'm about to tell you is going to change your mind on that one because we were walking along the front, like the coast, and there's a big seawall, right? And so we're walking along and it smelled like the sea, as it does on the front, on the coast. And there's like a little bit of a sniff of something else.

But, you know, you just sort of think, I'm by the sea, so it could be anything. You know, I'm not going to worry too much. And there's this woman walking towards us, pushing a stroller. Oh, no. And she had this face on her and it was like, what the hell? Like, is this woman okay? And she's like, don't go close to the wall. It's disgusting. And we were like, well, okay.

She's like, somebody's puked on the wall and it's absolutely disgusting. So we're like, oh, all right. And then we look beyond her. And of course, standing in a gigantic puddle of barf on a wall is a seagull eating it. Okay. And then I saw that and instantly, like a train, the smell of barf hit me. And I was just like, I had to do that thing where you block your nasals so that you can't smell it. So I was like, I was talking like this for about five minutes, walking past the puddle of barf.

You block your nasals? Yeah, you know, you don't like fully pinch your nose. just sort of like oh my god you block your your sense yeah your smell sense sort of thing yeah i know what you mean and i've done that we were we were really grossed out we're like okay well let's not walk back this way and then of course we forgot about it so we walked back that way and again we had to experience that just like a freight train in the night smashing right into your face this wall of hell smell it was disgusting god what is it what is it about other people's emissions that have that offend the nose so much you i've always thought like we must have evolved as you know as a society that we're living in with other people you know there's

going to be smells yeah oh no no it's exactly that it is evolutionary it's something which says you know this is something that you don't want to touch you don't want to put your fingers in and it's coded for us at a young age really it's weird though there's there's there's it's a very subtle rules to it i mean if i if i for some reason like i remember one time i was really sick okay and this is kind of gross and maybe a bit embarrassing for me but there was like there was barfing and shitting involved and yeah actually the smell of my shit at the time made me want to barf more okay right but i can happily sit in a room and fart and be perfectly content with the smell of my own farts.

But other people's farts, I find very offensive. The smell of them is just too much. So what's the deal with that? And barf, it doesn't matter who does it. Even my own barf is gross. Like the smell is just really awful. And I never want to smell my own barf or anyone else's barf again. But what's the deal with your own farts?

Like, you know, they're perfectly acceptable. I don't share this. Oh, you don't like the smell of your own farts at all? No, they stink. They stink. I'm not saying mine don't, but I don't, it doesn't bug me. It doesn't make me want to like actually throw up or anything. Like sometimes I'm a bit like.

I feel like having kids now, I'm so used to the smell of shit and puke that I just, I just don't care anymore. Like I just, I'm beyond caring to the smell of shit and puke that I just don't care anymore. Like, I'm beyond caring. It doesn't matter to me. I still don't, you know, I don't want to get it on me. But at the same time, I mean, I've had to clear up a lot of puke in my time. I've had to clear up grown-up puke because Mrs. F can't handle her drink and will sometimes come home loaded. She hasn't done it in a while.

One time she was sick all over the kid's bedroom door. All over the door. You're like a janitor. I know. Just let kids puke in and poop in. I would lay the smack down at that point, personally. I would literally open a can of whoop-ass at that point. I'd be like, I'm sorry.

We have a pretty good relationship here, but if you're going to do this again, you better go somewhere with that because I've just she's kind of cute when she's drunk you know what I mean

I mean she kind of does all this little sort of she's like I was sick on the door yeah yeah but still I'd be like okay you know what

oh you silly Billy oh you're so silly but if you ever fucking do that again trust me your head's gonna be like through that door as well. It's not the first time. I'd be so mad.

Do you want to hear the two other occasions Mrs. F... The two occasions Mrs. F has been sick in public. Is she okay with you telling this? Are they cute? Are they as cute as the door one? They're cuter. All right. All right.

Okay, fine. Here's one of my favorites. She drinks champagne very quickly. This is her problem she doesn't drink often so all right she goes to this work function this is we're living in wimbledon at the time and she calls me from the station she's like pick me up pick me up i'm like okay she's fucking hammered i'll walk down to the station and and pick her up so go down the getter and she's just leaning on a wall outside the station she's been sick all down her front

okay and she's got she still got everything on like she's got a coat on a work bag and everything but it's just like it's almost like she was coming home from work and someone just got a bucket of puke just went bam right in her face wow so i was like this is not a good look uh this was this was years ago this is like i'm picturing your wife as like the girl from the it crowd you know the one she always seems to find herself into these like girl from the it crowd you know the one she always seems to find herself into these like pukey situations or like you know she's wearing like a trench coat a work trench coat that like a lady would wear but yeah yeah just has exactly that kind of coat runny makeup and so i have to practically carry her home it's like a half

mile walk and i'm just walking and she's just she can barely walk right we get home i have to get her undressed i have to clear the sick out of her hair and everything she crashes and she's fine she's like oh thanks for looking after me like no problem so we go out another time maybe a couple years later and we're coming home on the train from Waterloo down to Richmond and she's like I need to be sick and we're like there's no toilets on this train so I said well you're gonna have to be sick in the the joiny bit between the two carriages where you can open the door. Yeah. No, good shout, though.

That's a good shout. That's the best spot. So she goes in there. That's not the best spot, is it? Because everyone has to get off on that. No, no, no. They don't have sick bags on a train, but they still have them on a plane. I mean, you can still get motion sickness on a train.

Didn't anyone have like a backpack or something she could be sick in? No, it was just me and her. It was just me and her. So she's being sick in the joining bit between these two cars. And there's this older businessman sat there and he's appalled at what he sees. Rightly appalled. And he's just glaring at us. And because we're both drunk, I'm like, what the fuck are you looking at?

What the fuck are you looking at? Was it Jeremy Corbyn? And was he sitting on the ground? No. This was an empty train. It was like 11 o'clock at night. It was like at midweek. Oh, right. She drank too much champagne again.

She's sick in the joining between two carriages. Jeez. She hasn't done it in years, but it was her thing for a while. Like she'd say, I'm going out for work. I was like, shall I prepare the plastic sheets, your majesty, for when you get home? First of all, like, you know, your idea, for when you get home. first of all, like, you know, your idea of a short period of time,

it's almost like, you know, you said, oh, there was this other time, as if it was going to be a couple of weeks later. You said, a couple of years later.

So this is not, I mean, a bi-yearly. Oh, it hasn't happened in like a decade. Okay. So actually, no,

wait, the time she was sick on the kid's door was more recently than that that might have been six years i was when i was um i had a okay i used to be sick all the time when i was a kid and and you strike me as the type actually i would oh i would my dad would always not quite a bubble boy but like pretty yeah we we would go to my nana's and i'd be like you know oh i'm'm not very good So I would puke in the car all the time And I'd puke out the window And they'd have to pull over and I'd puke I'd be puking all the time

I was a puker He's a puker And I was on holiday with my Friend from school And we went skiing And it was nice, I worked with her family I had a bit of a crush on her but this this is another it's another story for another time yeah anyway so you did the dance of your people and puked on her to show show your love this is

our greeting traditionally this is now we're recording i think we both puked on each other at various points in this friendship but this was the time when we went out for a meal a nice meal on the last day of a skiing holiday yeah and for some reason somebody probably me like a fucking idiot ordered some seafood platter at this nice restaurant yeah of course the nice restaurant was in the alps right and i think the last place you should order seafood is the alps. On a mountain. Not a good idea. I mean, you basically, if you're eating seafood, you want to be eating it on a pier out of a newspaper where you're sure the fish just came out of the water.

You want the fisherman to serve it from a line. He literally serves it by moving the fishing rod over. You unhook the fish and that's the fish. Yeah, right there. That's it. the fishing rod over you unhook the fish and that's the fish yeah right that's it so yeah the the morning after we were obviously on this sort of taxi bus thing back down the mountain it's you know winding on these roads because the the mountain roads they just wind back and forth and it's like super jolting anyway and and also like you've got this terrible vertigo from like

looking over the edge because these these these roads down the mountains just you could just see death you know if that bus goes over yeah it's just gonna roll and roll forever and you're gonna die it's terrifying um and so you know i was just getting more and more more bad and like i was like oh i'm i'm definitely gonna be sick here what are we gonna do and so and then she was sick as well i think and your bar i think her mom emptied out her handbag which was the only thing she had with her oh whatever and i was just fucking puking in this handbag and it wasn't like it wasn't the handbag that the problem was i was puking this handbag and it was like it was not watertight and so the puke was just like running all down to my legs and the cold car was just like and and this girl that you had a crush on

was she barfing as well she had like she had the same disposition as you just like very barfy and you were you were sharing the handbag doing you know you did a barf then she would do a barf and that would be my dream wouldn't it for her that could be like the plot for deuce bigelow 4 right yeah you you end up with a really barfy girl that is undateable but she becomes dateable for you because you're equally barfy and you could you guys can barf together and stand each other that is a that is a in the alps bigelow in the alps deuce bigelow four barfing in the alps yes the producer comes in pitching into the studio okay guys here's the pitch all right we got this guy okay he's he's he's like

a bubble boy but he's out okay he's out of the bubble and he's barfing everywhere i like it it's the real world the bubble demographic has been untouched by hollywood let's try and get that bubble demographic oh my god maybe like maybe this could be uh like a plot line for bodega as well maybe he could visit a barfy planet bodega part dos has already been written of course really yeah are we are are we going to be the adventures of bodega it's up to you it would grace man honestly if you turned up here every week with the new bodega i would die a happy man that's the intention i i've been should we save it for later though it's up to you guys i don't

mind okay okay we'll talk for a bit and then we'll do a bodega okay we'll have our weekly slot for bodega okay finally this podcast is taking shape guys look we actually have like a bit of a format we got bodega time sometimes we talk about games to 20 minutes of either chat about poop or sick yeah i want to just add i want to add that we talk about poop or sick at the start of the podcast. I want to just add, I want to add. Then we talk about the boring shit we've done in the week. I want to add that I have nothing to add on the barfing front because I'm quite proud to say my whole family are not barfy at all. That's good.

Very isolated moments of barfing due to like a sickness or a virus or whatever. But even my kids, not pukey in the slightest. That's very good. They poop every day but they they're they're barely ever sick i mean i think the only time my son was sick fully growing up like from being a toddler and stuff to now was right before he had uh chicken pox like he broke out with chicken pox you get a bit sick before and he like barfed on the kitchen floor but even then it wasn't like that bad like we just cleaned it up and then next morning he woke up and he had chicken pox all over him we were like oh god it's

the worst that explains it sort of thing and that was that so chicken chicken pox is one of those things that it just makes me feel so fucking bad for the kids like there's no they always get it when they're really little yeah like my young my eldest had it twice because the first time she had it she had it very mildly and the second time she got it was kind of bad but my youngest had it twice, because the first time she had it, she had it very mildly. And the second time she got it, it was kind of bad. But my youngest had it, it was awful. She was just... It was like a texture. It was like there had been an error in the graphical renderer for her body.

And instead of being skin-colored, she was just bumps. So it was like the texture was just bumps. And you know, the really gross thing about chickenpox is that they're contagious when you scratch the sore. Oh, really? And it pops and the pus is like infected. And that's where, when it's contagious. And that to me just makes it even more gross than it already is.

Yeah, that's even grosser. That's disgusting. Like thinking about that. So that's why they say not to scratch because, you know, you get it in under your fingers and stuff and whatever, your fingernails and shit, and it's all infected, and that's how it spreads around everywhere. It's really grim. I mean, kids have to have it

because you don't want to get it when you're older. Yeah. No, yeah, it can be very serious when you're older. It can kill you. Really? Do you want to get it when you're a kid? Yeah. I'm pretty sure the pus doesn't cause it to spread.

I'm pretty sure it is. I think when you scratch it, it makes it worse, like the sores themselves. No, no, look it up. Once you've got it. Look it up for real. That's how it spreads. It's like an airborne virus. Chicken pox is an airborne disease which spreads easily through the coughs and sneezes of an infected person.

Yeah, once you've got it, you'll just get lesions depending on how... Those with shingles may spread chicken pox to those who are not immune through contact with blisters there you go maybe that's what i'm thinking then so if you have a kid if you have shingles and you're around small kids and you've been scratching your face like an idiot then you can get all the kids chicken poxed up small itchy blisters symptoms usually last five to ten days complications may occasionally include pneumonia and inflammation of the brain oh god man i mean this is some serious shit yeah you do not want to be getting this geez no it's dangerous to get it as an adult very dangerous this is why they

have these chicken pox parties i was taken to a chicken pox party when i was a kid right with loads of kids who had chicken pox to get it and i got it when i was young because i was like a quiet i was like a bubble boy yeah yeah i wasn't very well no um with various things and they were like well we'd rather he had it now when he's not got anything they're like he's looking great look at him he's all happy and smiling do you know what it's the time for give him the pox right now. Pardon me. Speaking of chicken pox. Do you hear that? It's explosive. Yeah, that was one of those. That was a real dad sneeze, wasn't it?

Sorry about that. I think everyone now has chicken pox who is listening. Well, I'm missing a wall in my garage now as well. Oh, Jesus. It's going to let in that egg farm smell. No, I got the windows open. The egg smell is dissipating now. It just smells nice and fresh.

It's probably something moldering under the garage somewhere or in a wall somewhere. We have a condenser dryer in here. Oh, yeah. They'll make a stink. You know, it extracts the moisture from the clothes and stores it in a little plastic thing. And that's probably where the egg smell comes from.

Nice. Could be my butt as well, though. The old egg butt. Yeah, could be. Man. So, like, my butt as well though. The old egg butt. Could be. So like recently I've been playing a lot of WOW. I'm not gonna talk too much about WOW, but I've been streaming a lot of WOW as well.

And I've been sitting in here for a long time playing WOW and maybe my sweaty butt is causing my chair to stink a little bit as well. You know, when i started playing wow that was that that thing about poop socking that was the first time i'd ever heard of poop socking right did that come about from a specific anecdote that someone pooped in a sock or was it just it was always a it was like a it's one of those typical sort of goon stories that you can never tell if it's true or not but it's the mentality of somebody who is

so engrossed in a video game that they couldn't possibly leave their desk for five minutes to go take a poop so you know they just shit in a sock instead i mean i don't think anybody realistically has ever done that but possibly i mean i knew a guy who um needed to go poo really bad one time we were at a skate park downtown there was no toilets around so he pooped in a bush and then wiped his ass with his socks and threw his socks away so jesus another poop sock related story for you i think that's probably happened to a lot of people i would have been there yeah you know yeah we've all been maybe not all of us but there's lots of some of us have probably been it's just you just have to deal with some of this stuff sometimes in your life and you just can't get away from it.

But yeah, poop-socking is definitely... That used to be the big joke in Vanilla WoW when we used to play in RAID and stuff. But I'm just wondering if it's ever actually happened. Like if it actually came around from a real thing. Well, maybe. Maybe it was just like a... Maybe the story itself wasn't that interesting and then it just turned into like a legend, you know maybe it was just like a maybe the story itself wasn't that interesting

and then it just turned into like a legend you know um maybe i'm trying to i'm trying to think of an example of that happening there's an article here on tech radar that says blizzard discourages while poop socking following the news of a swedish gamer's collapse this is not a not a new article it would have to happen in sweden or korea right yeah always korea so i remember there's stories about people uh in korea playing too much diablo in an internet cafe not eating or sleeping and then dying of like a heart attack or killing each other over something yeah and um and one couple that used to play lots of wow at an internet cafe and they left their baby at home and the baby died that was i know i mean like you normally associate that with like you know heroin users or whatever but

yeah to have it associated with a video game is probably not the best but it happens people are crazy i guess so you've moved on since then yeah we moved on we took a little while to get over but that night we had a legendary drop in the raid so once legion came out all forgotten that's terrible people get really obsessed over really weird things don't they people like have you guys ever well i'm sure you guys have been to casinos before like we used to go to a casino nearby where like i grew up and stuff it was like across the river in another province so we could go there earlier than we'd be able to go in in our own province right it's like the the age restrictions are different and it always struck me like how it was fun it was a fun outing because like the way that

we'd go to a casino is we'd be like okay i'm gonna take like 40 bucks and i'm just gonna go and we're gonna have fun time and we're gonna gamble it all the way and if we win cool and if we lose you know we draw a line under it and we we'll just go get like you know a milkshake and go home sort of thing and it was really fun and then we turn up to these places and there'd be people with like a necklace with a credit card attached to it and they'd just be feeding their card into these slot machines and stuff and they just look like zombies like there's always these old women with like with like a breathing apparatus and they'd just be sitting there like totally in the zone just like chugging these quarter machines and stuff it's bad isn't it like i mean if honestly i i feel like the lack of logic

in going to a casino which is in business by the way like they're not going bust these places make money because the games are designed so that they win if you don't know that by now after spending that much time like do they not look around look at the other people the casino and think jesus christ what a mess what a garbage can group of people here in this building and i'm just joining them well we went to nice right yeah and two things about nice first of all we went to the casino because we thought we'd have a look at it we didn't spend any money there but they had all these fruit machines lined up there the real the slots you know yeah so that

they had these guys all these locals playing there when they needed to take a pee or they needed to get a drink they put their car keys in the coin slot to say, this is my machine. Now, that means that they are valuing their place on that machine more highly than access to their car. Like their car is just, ah, fuck it. It's just a car key. Because they think it's going to pay out. They're going to just be able to buy a new one anyway. Because I guess the idea is that if you work the same machine long enough, the payout is going to be more than you've ever put in. But it's still going to be 75 or whatever the legal requirement is there's a sticker on the

fucking machine that says this machine will pay out at a rate of 73 of whatever you put in it so why don't you just take 100 pounds take 27 of those pounds give them to charity and keep the 73 how about that but if you want to do it because it's fun you know like gets them out of the house it doesn't look they get to like live on the the edge as well by like risking their car keys every time they have to go to the bathroom stuff but like i mean i mean we're going to vegas like in six weeks time right do you do that are you gonna live there for 10 years no i am not a holiday right i'm gonna i going to have a bit of spending money with me. I don't know why we're going to Vegas.

Okay, we're going to BlizzCon, right? And then afterwards, we're going to Vegas for like two days. And I don't know why. Because it'll be awesome. I'd fucking love to go to Vegas. I mean, Vegas is great. I've been before. Have you never been, Sips? No. We meant to go like a couple of years ago, and then we just like decided to go somewhere else instead.

I've always wanted to sort of go, but I'm not like... Oh, well, if you've never been, I thought you went last year. No, I didn't. No, well, my daughter was a week old last year, so I didn't go. I didn't go either. No. But I think Terps and Duncan and Shin and Martin must have gone there. They did, yeah.

I don't know why they're planning to go go back maybe they had such a good time there but i don't think maybe they saw that movie the the hangover and they thought i want to do that yeah that's how i want to live my life me too yeah maybe they thought they'd meet mike tyson and stuff i don't know casinos it's it's a weird thing isn't it i feel like i feel like the slot machines all come from an age before video games yeah you know that's what it feels like they were like really original the original slot machine where you pull the handle but surely they must appeal to people who who go down to like the bookies and stuff as well it's the the the actual thrill of gambling you know you might you might win something but i guess it's

different because with the bookies it's like you're taking a chance on something happening and i guess with the slot machine it's the same but the volume that you play a slot machine is much more right i think they are predatory of the and this is a bad say i guess the poorer members of society they certainly pray on like the church does the lower lower sort of income families and lower classes because they these people aren't as as educated necessarily and aware of this stuff like you know if you if you want to if you want to gamble there's lots of ways to do it and the national lottery is no different i think the national lottery is a real terrible tax on the poor of a country you know there are much better systems for example premium

bonds is a good system in a sense because at least when you put your money into it there's a chance you're going to win big but you're going to have your money at the end in a savings account yeah and you know that can then be put forward towards you know whatever you need it for you know i want to be a millionaire lewis i mean i want to i want to be that guy who never goes to a casino walks in and just through dumb fucking luck wins like a million that's it you know the one time i decide to go in 10 years i just luck out big time or not even a million you know what like three grand or something and i'd be like you know what guys fucking i'm gonna buy you all playstations and then draw a line under it that'd be great you know i mean that'd, that'd be a story, right?

That'd be something fun to remember. We went to Vegas, Sips won three grand and he bought us all Xboxes. Yeah, but I mean, what do you mean won three grand? You have to put some money down to do that. You know, if you're going to go to a casino every six months and you're going to put in 500. If I put like a dollar into a dollar slot

and it was, you know, we were just passing by. I put a dollar in and it was you know we were just passing by i put a dollar in and i won like three grand that'd be hilarious i i love that that would be such a cool memory i think i think the way it works though if you put in a dollar that would be a one in five thousand chance if you put in a five bucks it would be in a one in um one thousand chance yeah but chances and everything okay like it like aside the stars and the moons align and i i'm just lucky as hell and i i put some money into a slot machine and i win money that'd be great i'd be like really happy i'd be like holy shit this is amazing and i wouldn't even do anything sensible with that money like i'd just be like let's just go to a strip club and and spend three grand i don't know no you wouldn't be

comfortable with that no what because it might happen i mean we're going like six weeks time and like you know i'm thinking about it i'm thinking i i fancy my chances how about you instead like you you say okay i've got i've won a million pounds on the slots that's that's commission oh if i won a million pounds i'd slots there's there's commission oh if i won a million pounds i'd be different series of bodega live action i wouldn't even you know what i'd do i'd buy a house in a neighborhood that i did not belong in and i'd be really loud and obnoxious and i'd buy a bunch of cars that i had no business driving and i would rev them up in the driveway like all night and get kicked out of there and And that's, I would just troll my way through a million pounds easy.

How would you get kicked out? Well, noise complaints and stuff, you know? This is like that guy that was called the King of Chaps. Yeah, yeah. I would, that's me. I would, I would want to be that. I would want to do that. I just think that that would be such a funny thing to do with money.

That's your ambition. Yeah. He won nine million pounds. He's lost it all, by the way. He's working, I think he works think he works in a biscuit factory now, which is a really... It's a bit of a comedown. That is. So he had £9 million. I think his name was Michael something. He basically bought a

country manor and just bought a load of old bangers and would fuck up the land around the house having banger races and driving around crashing cars and demolition derbies and stuff. And just spunk the money. Just literally spunked it all. And he was like, I got no regrets. The noise complaints and everything. He was in the paper. You know, he's on the front of the sun and stuff.

They hated him. They fucking hated him. They fucking hated him. Poor guy gets money. This is wrong. Yeah. Look, he's not investing it. Why is he in a portfolio?

He's like, fuck you guys. I'm going to buy stupid shit. I'm going to blow this money and I'm going to piss you all off. Yeah, and now he's back at the cookie factory. Back at the biscuit factory. That's totally the American sort of Vegas dream though, isn't it? Well, yeah. That's what Vegas seems to be traded for.

Well, I think in Vegas it's a bit different. I think what you do is if you're not lucky in the slot machines or at the blackjack table or whatever, you hope that Robert Redford turns up with just a bed covered in money and fancies your wife. And then you're like, okay, cool. Yeah, you can have like a one night with my wife for a million dollars or whatever. I would take that in a heartbeat. An indecent proposal IRL.

If Robert Redford, I think he's still alive, right? Definitely. I don't think it's entirely your choice think, he's still alive, right? Definitely, yeah. I don't think it's entirely your choice. Isn't it up to your wife? I don't, here's the thing, we're married. If she said to me,

I'm going to fuck Robert Redford for a million quid and you don't have any say in it, I'd feel like that was a bit more insulting. Whereas if she said to me, what do you think? I'd at least have the option of saying,

I'm very uncomfortable with this. Yeah. But, you know, it's nice to us that that's a marriage, isn't it? Otherwise, what you're saying is, when you're married... What if he wanted to do something much sicker, though? What if he wanted her to puke on him? He wants her

to be sick on Robert Redford. I wouldn't have a problem with that. I'd be like, just give her some shampers, Robert. It'll happen. Not in my Robert Redford fantasies. No way. He does not like barfing. What if Robert Redford wanted to shit in your wife's mouth? He's an old school romantic.

He's an old school romantic, okay? He sidles up to you at the bar. Hey, your wife's got a real pretty mouth. He wouldn't do it in the mouth. He would just do it on her chest. I love you, Robert. You're a great actor. Big fan of your movies.

Big fan. Yeah. Really love drugstore cowboy it's too sinister i don't know are you happy being a pimp it's not i'm not a pimp it's not a pimp are you saying that woody harrelson was a pimp in indecent proposal like the guy lost a lot of money in vegas didn't really have uh many prospects except for being married to demi more so which is kind of a prospect i guess kind of but she's like having a geology in that world she wasn't demi more she was just like sandy smith

or whatever her name was and indecent so she didn't even have like the street cred or anything you know so like i'm not saying mrs f would have to ask me for permission but it would be clear grounds for divorce if she just went behind my back and fucked robert redford million quid or no but if she did it and then said to me i had sex with robert redford last night i'd be like what and then she'd say but he gave me a million quid i'd be like what are we gonna spend this on because we're gonna we're gonna go let's hit vegas baby i don't know like i think i think robert redford would go down in my estimation if that happened don't get me wrong i'd be happy with a million dollars or whatever. But I would think, you know, Robert Redford, you fucking asshole.

How could you? How could you do me like this, Rob? I'd be disappointed he has to pay for it, would be what I'd be disappointed at. I'd be like, wow. Yeah, yeah. I'd be like, Rob, you got to pay women to have sex with them? Like, what happened to you, man? Like, you used to be.

You used to be a big guy. You used to be the big guy you used to be the the big the big guy and now look you and paul newman and steve mcqueen and steve mcqueen steve mcqueen ain't paying no woman for sex he just pulls up in a sports car hell yeah paul newman maybe would have to pay now he's pretty old he's dead how do you first like sec first thing right imagine you went to vegas with your new newfound million dollars and there was a guy in a bar who was out down his luck with a really hot wife yeah oh would i would i pay well i think you gotta be careful too because i think them i'm sure the mafia still operate heavily in vegas um maybe not as sort of apparent as they used to but i'm sure they still have a hand and i would be shit scared

to win a lot of money in Vegas because I would worry about getting killed in the desert. Do you know what I, here's my thoughts about the Mafia. Don't worry about that, Sips. I think, if you think about it, they must have had a shitload of money over the years, right? The Mafia, they made a shitload of money. A little, yeah.

They must have realized that actually running a little book on the side and maybe some girls down at louis bar that's not making the big bucks come in the two times hey they always come in twice every time forget about it what they got what they do is actually they go you know what we've got to invest our portfolio don and we got to get some legitimate businesses don i'm thinking i'm thinking premium bonds you know what those are you, they're like a gamble. They can pay out big sometimes, but you know, if they don't pay out big,

you get your money back. It's a real steady income, boss. I think it's a good idea. Is it against the law? Nah, nah, it's all above board. You'd love it. All right, this is a new direction for us, but let's give it a go.

I've been meaning to divest my portfolio for some time now oh fuck me man why how did the mafia become so funny like it's true they were brutal in the 70s i mean really like they had the ice man they had like murder inc and stuff like why when did they become such a joke like holy shit it's i guess goodfellas and stuff sort of i think they became like we don't hear about the mafia as being a problem now no so they're almost seen as like a part of the past even though there's still a massive problem in italy they're still huge in america they're just the problem with the mafia is that the mafia that we know that has been sort of uh glamorized if you like um from like the 70s and 80s yeah

they used to have free reign because um law enforcement technology was not up to scratch and it's the same with when cocaine started pouring into miami in the 80s as well yeah they didn't have the means to control it they the government was so behind in controlling it knowing what it was knowing the impact and everything and it was the same with the mafia operating you know they could get away with all this shit extortion uh you know drug smuggling weapon smuggling i mean they were even like you know some of the big scores that they had off like international flights with gold on them and stuff like yeah yeah that shit would never happen nowadays it's impossible you know with like you've got like the cia and the fbi and advanced like

monitoring and everything you know they can't get away with it but they still operate like and they still make a lot of money and they're still like really big but it's just super duper under the radar now you know do you know the other I think it is, is a lot of the reason the mafia did so well in America was because after that wave of Italian immigrants in the 19th century, they brought a lot of that with them, that sort of omerta, and you don't talk to the police, and the mafia was like a part of our... It was a code, yeah. Yeah, it's a part of our thing. Whereas nowadays, neighborhoods are a lot more diverse.

I mean, that's the thing. It's not like you have 10 blocks that are all just Italian immigrants as much anymore around New York. So I think a lot of the areas and the people, the older people who would have kept that shit secret and sort of, you know, if they had a problem, they'd go to the local Don or whatever. That's gone now. That doesn't happen so much. Yeah, that doesn't happen so much now. I guess The Sopranos was sort of of like if you watch that series it's a fictional series but it probably it probably does highlight the fact that you know the way that they

operated changed a lot as law enforcement start to really catch up with them right and the old ways and and the old code started dying out and stuff as well you know like and i think i like a lot of people that have flipped in the mafia and become witnesses and informants and stuff like that and wanting to leave the life sort of said that really drugs ended it all for them. Like when drugs started to become really big, you know, like Nixon and Reagan and stuff started like the war on drugs and all this stuff. It got out of control. The code, they couldn't follow the code anymore. Half the guys were just like doing drugs and they didn't give a shit anymore and stuff and and it sort of wrecked it for them for a time but i think they still do pretty well also i mean the whole tax thing that was pretty much the way they get busted like they

found a way to bust them yeah like you just prove income and then you've got them on tax evasion and then the whole thing opens up and yeah what was the was it the rico uh rico yeah the rico act i think started like all that kind of stuff. But yeah, they caught a lot of really big guys off of that, didn't they? What's-His-Face went down. Was it John Gotti? They got him on that. Or was it a bunch of other stuff?

They probably started there, and then they probably opened up a lot of stuff. Because What's-His-Face flipped and then testified against him too. Sammy Gravano, remember that guy? No. The Bull. Sammy the Bull. Sammy the Bull. Yeah, he was like the famous sort of like mafia informer witness flipper guy

that brought down the whole thing. He flipped, man. I love all of that so much. Me too. The nicknames and like the attitude. The older stuff is very interesting to read um because there's just so much information about it you know like and there's been so many movies made about it and books and everything but i read a book um i can't remember the name of it now but

it was about i think he was part of the gambino family and he was like he it was kind of like iceman do you guys ever see the movie iceman no it was a it was about that guy he was like, it was kind of like Iceman. Do you guys ever see the movie Iceman? No. It was about that guy. He was like, he started working for the mafia as a hitman. And he was like, but he was still trying to like hold down this family life. He had two kids, a wife, lived in the suburbs and stuff. And every day he'd just go out and, you know, he'd fucking kill people, whoever. He chummed up with this guy who was in like refrigeration. Oh, Jesus.

And then this guy would help, you know, sort of like keep the bodies and hold them. But in the end, they caught him. They caught up with him and arrested him. And he testified to something crazy, like 300 murders or something. Like he's killed so many people. It's insane. But there was this other guy. Like he's killed so many people.

It's insane. But there was this other guy. And so the book was written by his son who was growing up and not realizing that his dad, what his dad did. And he just had like all these sort of like memories of things that his dad would do. But he never really linked them to anything at the time because he was a kid. But it was really interesting as he got older, he started to sort of realize what was going on. But it was really interesting as he got older, he started to sort of realize what was going on. And then of course, when he was much older, he almost started like becoming a little bit involved. But by then his dad had been arrested and, you know, a lot of things had changed or whatever.

And he sort of went off on a bender, you know, like he lived his life through his dad's name and did all this shitty stuff and then realized that like it wasn't the life for him. And then he turned it all around and stuff. it's really interesting actually really good book i wish i remember the name of it i can't i cannot for the life of me remember the name of it it's really good when you're a dad you've got you end up having to pick your kid up all the time bring him around he's in the back seat yeah you're like you're on a hit with like you're in a refrigeration charlie or whatever yeah no but like he like one of his memories was that his dad went through shoes. Like, he needed a new pair of shoes every week. And the reason was because he was responsible for going around and collecting,

like, the extortion rackets. And he would literally pace up and down blocks and blocks and blocks of New York City every single day, collecting. And he would just wear out his shoes. Oh, my goodness. And his kid was like, fuck, dad, how do you go through shoes, like, so quickly? york city every single day collecting and he would just wear out his shoes oh my goodness and so and and his kid was like fuck dad how do you go through shoes like so quickly like they would just be completely worn out like after a week or whatever questions junior it's crazy yeah is that

because he was wearing like smart shoes yeah yeah dress shoes and he would just be the practical shoes yeah and they would just completely wear down just from walking up and doing collections and stuff i just thought that was such a weird thing to remember. I thought it would be like kicking in doors. Yeah, I thought they'd be blood on them or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Possibly some of that as well. Yeah. But yeah, they lived at like, I think they just lived this like typical suburban life out in New Jersey or whatever. And his dad would go off to work and just thought he was like in some as some sort of businessman or whatever. And he had all these uncles that weren't really uncles that would come over from time to time and you know a lot of hush hush conversations in the basement in the garage but like never

thought anything of it and then you know just as he was older he started piecing it together he's like fuck my dad was just like this massive hitman for the mafia and man so when my kids are older and they realize that i've also been doing that stuff as well it's gonna be weird i hope they write a book and make some money off me as well they're like dad had to keep going out to the garage it always smelled really strongly of eggs in there it's always smelled like eggs but now come to think of it maybe the smell was dead bodies maybe he was running a secret chicken factory sometimes i would walk out there and he would look like he hadn't showered in days and he'd be sweating and he'd always be on his computer and i can't remember

what he was doing on there but i seem to remember a man with green eyes and horns there was this big pile of socks by the computer i just remember a mountain of empty pizza boxes too and it's not not as glamorous as being a mafia hitman is it like not quite no oh my goodness there you go yeah it's uh it's i love all that like the history of the mafia and stuff i i went through like a not like a phase but i i just i just became very interested in it after watching a couple of movies and stuff. And I just did a lot of reading. I got a whole bunch of books like about, you know, some of like the older families and stuff like that. It's good reading, actually.

It's very interesting. But I mean, again, it was a totally different time. They got away with a lot of the stuff they got away with because basically law enforcement was just not ready for it. You know, organized crime. They had no way of today with wall street you know we just can't police that from the fraud that's going on um anyway good thanks so i was thinking earlier you know that indecent proposal chain i was thinking like yeah imagine so imagine you like sips or p flex like you do the indecent proposal then you get like a token for an indecent

proposal with someone else and then they can use that token for another indecent proposal so rather than getting paid a million dollars for it yeah you instead get that okay i'm basically i'm now thinking of like okay this isn't it i'm thinking of swinging yeah you, you are. Right, okay, yeah. Flax, let me put this to you. Robert Redford is one thing, right? What if the indecent proposal came from none other than Lewis Brindley? What would you say? No.

I know him. I have to hang out with him. It's the same amount of money, though. No, no. It's the same amount of money. He could just be an imaginary character, for all I know. I'm not going to bump into Robert Redford

all the time. I have to work with Lewis. What if you meet him and he's really weird and slimy i don't have to i don't have to sleep what if you met up with robert redford and he just ran a youtube channel as well like one thing led to another he's like yeah i just do youtube but do you have like this list of whatever it is like a lot of people have like a well this classic like idea of a freebie list or whatever it's called or what's it called where you can you can have a you can have an affair with like certain people if they're on this list well you've agreed i mean no but i mean it would have to be on a case-by-case basis i think would

be the safest way to do it because the other ways you're going to be constantly amending the list posting the amendments to the uh fridge the fridge yeah you might be you might change your mind a couple of times as well. Exactly. So you come in one morning, someone scratched off. What happened? I hated their last movie,

so they're off the list. Yeah. They're off the list. But I've added Carrot Top to it now. Whoa. Whoa. You know what?

Yesterday, Carrot Top was okay, but we just went to see a movie with Carrot Top in it and it reminded me of how obnoxious and annoying Carrot Top actually is. And I want him off the list.

You cut out badly. like what happens in that case we didn't hear a word of that i'm sorry did i cut out sorry yeah it's okay but just listen to it back in the editing and then yeah we'll just agree and nod like yeah just put in some genuine laughter instead of like the awkward we didn't hear you laughter just like cut it in and it'll be fine you know gentlemen yeah it's time it'll be fine. Gentlemen. Yeah. It's time. It is. Bodega.

All right. Okay. Let me get comfortable. Hang on a second. We've exhausted all other. Okay. I got to put my feet up and I have to recline a bit on my chair and close my eyes as well. Bodega.

Part dos. A gray canopy of fog gave way to the brilliant scurly and dawn. A grey canopy of fog gave way to the brilliant Scurllian dawn. Four suns rising as one, reminding Bodega of the time he almost got run over by a recreational hover vehicle on Playtos 4. He slipped his sunglasses into position over his eyes. You're like Metzen 2.0, I'm serious. It's crazy. And squinted down the sights of his lasgun back towards his Gretham stealth insertion shuttle. Nobody mooching about nearby, so he felt secure enough in his position.

With the sun at his back, he'd learnt this trick in sniper school where he'd finished top of his class and all the other classes in the history of that sniper school and all other sniper schools. He settled into the loose soil of his hilltop vantage point and checked the lasgun pivot bipod once more. The action was as smooth as a slim hound's udder. Withgun pivot bipod once more. The action was as smooth as a slim

hound's udder. With the pivot bipod deployed, he'd be able to wreak a terrible revenge on the bastard smugglers down in the valley. There they were now, drinking cups of synth tea and smoking their star vapes. Vaping had been outlawed by the evil Federation director, Krem

Slumdump, but those cabrones Slumdump! But those cabrones obviously Slumdump! But those cabrones obviously felt the law didn't extend to them. Bodega laughed to himself. Hell, he loved a good vape too. Bodega wanted to vape

really, really badly, but he might give away his position since he was using an advanced mega vape capable of blanketing a small moon in delicious vape smoke. Enough about vaping,

thought Bodega. I love the vaping tangent it's got a little bit of um sort of mary sue character going on here no mary sue character is a character who inexplicably enters uh an established set of characters and the established characters love that character and that character is insanely competent and beloved by all. That would be Wesley Crusher in Star Trek would be a prime example. Mary Sue is the character who's

inserted by the author as a wish fulfillment. So it's like Hermione is J.K. Rowling and Bella Swan in Twilight and the people who the author puts them in and loves them. they're perfect. There's a lot more to it than that.

Wesley Crusher, explain Wesley Crusher. I guess just when I see a mirror of period flax in the story, that's what I think of as a very true. Lots of people vape, Lewis, and as it happens, Bodega happens to use a mega vape capable of blanketing a small moon delicious vape smoke.

I'm delighted to hear that. That sounds very antisocial, though. I mean, what if the whole moon doesn't want to vape? Enough about vaping, thought Bodega. The smugglers were gathered around a collection of small remote controlled vehicles. Through the vision scope attachment of his lasgun, Bodega could practically smell the scum from here. Whatever they planned to do with those rc vehicles it was going to be related somehow to their smuggling activities

and it was surely going to be a thing a bastard would do he'd done research on these bastards before he'd taken the mission their list of crimes was so long he'd had to take a couple of extra days off just to read through it and get really really angry bodega liked getting really really angry it focused his mind made him sharp so sharp he'd come up with the idea for the pivot bipod while he was taking a crap. Bodega's famous lasgun, known throughout the galaxy as the best of the best of the best in terms of lasguns and one of a kind, was capable of a sustained beam which in turn was capable of penetrating the hull of any ship he'd ever shot it at, which was a lot of ships.

By definition, a human being in their stupid remote-controlled vehicles was going to be no match. No match at all. He grinned, he being Bodega, and checked the pivot bipod action once more. Smoother than a hit from his mega vape. No! No vaping, thought Bodega firmly. Down in the valley, the bastard scum smugglers were laughing and joking and starting to fart around with their RC vehicles. There were ten of them, their hover vehicles parked up in a semicircle. They sure didn't dress like smugglers, the clever bastards. Most of them had glasses on, which was weird, because anybody with a hundred skrells could get eye surgery or an implant or something. Maybe it was part of their disguise. Maybe they weren't very good at smuggling and were a bit hard up when

it came to cash? Bodega gave it some thought. He couldn't come up with anything. Ah well, five minutes till their personal doomsday anyway. What was he, an optician? Bodega checked the action once more on the pivot bipod and instantly thought about vaping. Flavit, he thought, and pulled out his mega vape. He took one huge tug and exhaled, regretting it instantly. The smugglers all looked up towards the 50-meter cubed cloud of vape billowing off the hilltop. One of them fired up an RC drone and buzzed it straight at Bodega. As it neared him, he tensed every muscle in his body, letting out a small fart as he did so, not out of fear, but as a precaution. A fart in combat is no joke, it could really put you off.

But the drone didn't open fire. It hovered nearby and a small reedy voice emitted from a speaker on the front. Hello, are you the park ranger? We have a permit to fly our drones as long as it's not a Sunday. Furthermore, far this, his position revealed in his cover blown, Bodega started putting some serious heat downrange. Target one was the Pendejo controlling this thing. The famous Laskin of Bodega did his dreadful business and superheated every molecule of water in that dude's body as he exploded into a trillion fiery fragments.

Now it was time for the pivot bipod to do its work. No need to take his finger off the trigger. Bodega simply played the lasgun around the smuggler's meeting point like an old man watering some plants. A drop of water for the grouples, a dash for the clearforths, a good soaking for the needy jup-jup tree. Although in Bodega's case, this translated into three more smugglers shrieking

in agony as they were sliced into bits by the lasgun. He took a quick squiz down the sights and noticed that many of the smugglers were crawling around and shrieking. Some had curled up into balls and were crying and some were more desperately trying to run for cover. ZAP! All of them paid the ultimate price for smuggling, which was death by Bodega. Job done. He packed up and headed back towards the Gretham. As he got closer, he noticed a group of men off to the south, close enough to hear their conversation. They wore black stealth suits and each carried a large bore omni rifle.

Hmm. Hunting season started earlier this year. Bodega gave a cheery wave and a thumbs up. The men looked benused for a moment before waving back. Bodega climbed into the Gretham and blammed into orbit. On to his next mission the end wait what were they smuggling though oh tips you didn't get it they were just flying their drones in the forest that was it yes he killed the wrong people and then he buns into the smugglers on the way home oh i thought it was obvious should i make it more obvious it was very

obvious no you know what it was pretty obvious. But I stopped paying attention because I was thinking really hard about what they were smuggling. Sorry. You were trying to decipher the puzzle. I was like thinking it because I was like, I was. So the whole time I'm visualizing, right? I'm trying to think about what these guys are smuggling. I realize now that they weren't smuggling. And then, you know, he passed them.

But the whole time I can't get out of my mind how much this reminds me of gentlemen broncos you know like the sci-fi part of gentlemen broncos yeah also it reminds me a lot of better call sol you know when mike is out in the desert i haven't watched it oh sorry that's not a spoiler anyway no no it's not a spoiler no mike is in a desert that's not a surprise and he's got a sniper rifle and stuff as well and it really reminded me me of that part of Better Call Saul too. Man, Bodega's really good. Honestly, P-Flex, that was magnificent. I was totally, I was on the edge of my seat.

Oh, awesome. I loved it. I feel like if they made a movie of Bodega, they have to use, it has to be like a B-movie. Oh, absolutely. With those like costumes and effects and like the really janky dialogue and stuff like that like it it would be perfect yeah yeah shit that would be so good i love that we have a segment for homebrew sci-fi on this podcast oh i love a bit of sci-fi it's just so good like it's what a what a master stroke holy shit that was really good man i'm gonna i'm gonna

i'm gonna see if i could take some time to write a bodega okay but don't you can't be bodega though okay if you're gonna write a homebrew it has to be a different setting no no i i am happy i am happy for bodega stuff to be i want i want people to add to the canon of bodega in time sort of thing yeah some homebrew my only concern in a wild west setting would be perhaps people aren't aware of bodega's full character yet i don't know if i've written enough for the true bodega like i think i'm getting an idea of what he's like add to it people write your own stuff you could do like the bodega prequels lewis you know like his time spent on like young bodega column column r5 during like the clone wars or whatever you know yeah and and it's and the strife you know maybe he was married at

the time you know and he lost his wife the great and that's what they set him up to become like the zizian revolution uh all that kind of stuff yeah where do you get these names from yeah the job job tree those are those are the most imagery watering the needy the needy job job tree yeah i don't know i read that this morning that was magnificent i like the las beam too i like i like how it sort of microwaves the body i just like the idea that he just holds down the trigger and it's just this continuous like i don't know why i find it funny the idea of someone just blasting the sound of like those old guns just like zapping yeah really stupid noise yeah gun makes a really stupid high-pitched yeah that would i like that oh my god so anyway there we go bodega part two does that mean that next week we can uh look forward to bodega part three

partress c part oh it's fantastic okay great and then lewis in the meantime you're gonna start promises the chronicles of bodega the prequel and then um eventually i guess i'm gonna have to do something as well i mean i'd like i'd like to know more about bodega like the universe as long as it's got a stupid name it's in but i want to know about who gives bodega his mission who told him to go and get those smugglers bodega origins yeah good yeah you know i mean we know he went to sniper school and finished top of that class yeah or maybe he's just self-taught you know maybe he hooked up with like an old space ranger who was just really good maybe taught him all the tricks he only attended sniper school

for like a week though because he already was like super busted it he went yeah he went to sniper school after the space ranger taught him all the tricks of the trade his teacher was so jealous that he kicked him out of he just wanted the official qualification because it's hard to get work otherwise just paper that's right just yeah i mean think how much the bureaucracy is going to be in the galaxy like it's a huge amount of bureaucracy yeah that's it well yeah because that's the thing bureaucracy just like becomes like 10 times worse in the future right like awful adding space stations into the mix and people need to justify their existence if everything was done by computer what do you do all day you need bureaucrats that's it that's how people you know pay their space bills that's where does bodega live does

he live in a kind of grimy, Minority Report style apartment? No! It's like the Millennium Falcon, but it's like... Yeah, he's mobile. Yeah, he's got like a Han Solo kind of, isn't he? He's got a couple of apartments on a couple of planets, I'm sure. It's like a space Winnebago. He's more of

a safe house having kind of guy. Not a regular... Bodega can't afford to have a house. It's like a Blade Runner type blade runner i see he drifts yeah he he has safe houses lifted all over the place you know he's gonna have cd motel rooms oh yeah exactly he's gonna know people all over the sector with guns hidden in the toilet like the punishment just like the punishment you open the fridge and there's just like nothing in there except for like one pint of moldy old milk yeah and then but you can you can actually like open the fridge again. And that's, there's a big store of guns back there.

You know, like you open the inside of the fridge and that's where he hides the guns. And behind the guns, actual fresh milk, just in case. Just in case. Yeah, no, it's UHT. Just in case someone next door needs some milk or something. Yeah, that keeps his cover. You know what?

One of the common tropes you see in action movies is that the hero, they'll be somewhere like ridiculously hot. And everyone will be like drinking water. And someone will say, do you want something? He'll be like, no, I'm okay. You know, you're hungry? No. I'm thinking, keep your fucking energy levels up.

Stay hydrated, you idiot. Like what hero doesn't drink and eat? It's really important. How are you going to fight without drinking and eating? it's not about being tough tough people eat look at fucking michael phelps he eats a billion pizzas a day he doesn't go oh my god thank god the stuff that guy eats is crazy right i was watching this like documentary on him and he eats like five plates of pasta for lunch it's insane like mountains as well like he just eats so much but i guess he burns it all off like winning medals left right and center and stuff so it's insane it's crazy

like i couldn't believe it oh so sorry if i'm a bit slow this week so i just i feel like i've had all of my energy sucked out by the civilization 5 game we had yeah so civ 6 we have actually got actually getting preview copies sent to us hey can you get me one i'll join in for a game of that i want to try civ 6 well we don't know where the wig is the build that we're gonna get is multiplayer and i very much doubt it in fact i think the earliest build we're gonna we'll find out next week but i think the early release build we're gonna get a single play a likely single player except the build i've already played yeah yeah um and you know what you know what they basically they're at a point where they're the game they want to just show it off in the maximum possible positive light um and obviously the multiplayer

is going to be a mess at release as it always is because it's such an afterthought yeah um and so we played the civ 5 game as our sort of i i think we're thinking of it as our final civ 5 game but i don't know whether civ 6 will be playable does it look like it's gonna be good though it does it does look very very good yeah so i'm pretty stoked for it and then i'm off to ejx tomorrow um which will be good i do enjoy going to these events but man we've done a lot of them yeah gosh you guys have done tons i haven't done a single one this year comic-con but i mean i just helped out on the merch store you just popped along didn't you yeah was it fun yeah my daughter loved it it was the best day out she's ever had i'm not even kidding she talks about it all the time wow she loved going to

comic-con she fucking loved it man i'm gonna take my son to one like when he's a little bit older i don't think he'd appreciate it now but like in a couple of years i'll take him to one yeah i mean she she didn't she didn't give a shit about the cosplay she didn't give a shit about all the people or anything it's all the little stands in the stores no she didn't give a shit about those what she liked was we hung out with the york scars guys they were all very nice obviously and harry uh was like do you want to help sell some t-shirts and she was like god yes so she she just like someone would come up and say i'd like a diggy diggy hole in medium and she'd run off and get it and she that was like the best thing she's ever done i'm not even kidding

she just wanted the job man you know what you're setting her up maybe she'll be like an entrepreneur she might open up like an e-store or something yeah maybe yeah maybe yeah she just get her a job p-flat get to work put to work yeah get her to design some shirts in an e-store for you you're ready my dear here work at tesco's i'll see you in seven hours her current thing is pokemon cards i have to figure out where to acquire oh god pokemon trading wait they don't just sell them like normally anymore well everyone everyone is it long past well everyone in school is saying they quote stopped making them but i can't imagine that's true when i look online like i can't find them huge amounts don't put a kid by tons they've

got about a million spare cards if you want any send them ship them by when you've got the office yeah send an email to dunkard he'll send you like how do you store cards nowadays do you still get a binder with like those plastic things that slot the cards exactly the same yeah it's unchanged i used to have a whole bunch of marvel superhero cards oh yeah holograms and everything i used to store them in a binder like that as well you still do since i saw it you showed me it very proudly when i came around no i don't do that at all i mean i don't have time or the energy or the inclination man hey i got this is uh series one ice man this is john gambino for i mean if I had that stuff, it would just be in a box somewhere

gathering dust. Oh my goodness. We should totally, this should totally be like a Mafia Hitman collectible card set. Oh, that would be sweet. You'd love that. Holy crap, right. That is all we've got time for today. Thank you for listening to this podcast. It's a bit of a weird one. Yeah, this was an odd one.

It had a weird flavor to it. A kind of an eggy smell to it. Yeah. I miss the days when you'd come up with something like the Zen stuff and tell us Zen stories. Oh, yeah, Lewis. I'd like you to bring back something. You've been dropping the ball recently.

I've been on lately. You know what, Lewis? I want you to think of this as a relaxing thing for you to do. So don't you worry about it. Me and Sips have got it covered. We'll come with interesting shit to talk about next week literally it'll be shit related as well and puke and yeah no lewis this is a challenge for you for next week okay do something right that isn't work related that is kind of like food for your soul. Okay. And then tell us about it next week. Okay.

Like the Zen thing, like go, go skip rocks on the beach at sunset or something and think about stuff or, or do something like that. You know, something that really just pumps you up. Yeah. Like,

no, that's good. You feel like you're raising up into the sky with your wings out. Okay. I'll do that. That middler's blaring away in the background. And, you know, and then you can tell us about it. You know, tell us, because you have time to do that stuff.

Me and Flax, we don't. You know, we're busy. We're busy people. We're busy with, like, kids and our wife and, like, you know, a car that constantly breaks down and stuff. But, like, I think you have more time to do that sort of like reflective stuff you know you could really you could really bring like a new dynamic yeah i could share with you my my moments like you know walking along the front and just avoiding the big pile of sick yeah and like you know what happened to the days when you found a cockroach in your tesco

microwave meal you know yeah when what. What happened to that again? Those days. When can that happen again? Those sweet moments. Yeah. We can all sort of have a chuckle of a cockroach escaping from that meal and investing in apartments. That was a hell of a time.

But I have to go. So I'm going to have to end it here. Thank you for listening, everyone. We're going. Peace. Oh. So we're going to have to end it here. Thank you for listening, everyone. Goodbye, all. Bye. We're going. Peace.