Triforce! - Triforce! #212: Jaxon Pudge Magnificence Smith

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

Triforce! Episode 212! Pyrion hosts DOTA 3000 in the distant future, Sips lists popular baby names in 2022 and Lewis smashes a controller playing Dark Souls! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Welcome back. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. What a joy it is to return. I just wanted to confidently interject there, you know? Like, I think sometimes you just want somebody confidently interjecting every once in a while. I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more, Samson. What'd you say to me? Yeah, it's nice, isn't it?

Now it suddenly feels like one of those crappy talk shows on American TV where a lot of assholes feel like they have to make their opinions heard. I hate crappy talk shows. I know. Oh shit, that's what this podcast is. So, controversial opinions. I have great opinions. I don't know about you guys.

Mine are awesome. What have you got? What have you got, P-Facts? What have you got for me? You want a controversial opinion? Yeah. Like something you feel strongly about that other people don't seem to just mind. There's so many mind you know there's

there's so many you know i'll have to have i got one i'll have to have a little thing i want to i want to um expand on a on a controversial opinion i was saying that i wouldn't like to go see an adele concert and i know you guys were a little bit upset about that or whatever i would like to expand that i know i mentioned celine dion but another uh honorable mention for the list of people i never want to see perform live i'm gonna i'm doing it i'm adding charlotte church to the list wow she's on there she's on my list i never want to see her perform live she was on the most i think that would be dreadful she sang very well i think she's a good singer and stuff technically like fine but man one hour and a half um concert she's counting she sings like opera and shit and that is like

right but that is not my vibe if i really liked opera i mean fucking hell i don't know how anybody does i i've seen some some ballet and i've seen some opera it's fucking awful i feel kind of bad because it's all women on my list but um so just to mix it up a little bit i'm gonna add michael buble onto my list as well wow i never want to see that fucker play live either even on christmas he auto tunes did you know what i don't care i wouldn't be surprised what he does let me tell you a michael buble story okay all right Right. We were on holiday. I'm trying to think. I think we were in France.

And this was me. This is Mrs. F, the kids, and my mom. And we had a hire car. And Mrs. F had paired the car to her phone so that we could play music. But something had gone wrong where when she couldn't get the internet which was quite often in in rural parts of france you can't get you know 5g or 4g or whatever so it would play the music that she had saved to her phone and it would just play it automatically you get in the car you turn it on it pairs and it just starts playing michael buble's christmas album that for some reason she

had downloaded onto her phone it's's the middle of summer in France. Every time we're driving, and you stop it, and it just randomly starts saying, Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Jingle bell, whatever, and something won't stop. Like that. So we're like at the lights, and it'll just, jingle bell, jingle bell, every few minutes. It was unbelievable.

Man, that would have been so funny. She had to delete it from her phone to stop the playing. We couldn't figure it out. Jingle bell, jingle bell. Every few minutes. I love that. It was unbelievable. Man, that would have been so funny. She had to delete it from her phone to stop the playing. We couldn't figure it out. Well, I mean, I think in a roundabout way, it was probably a positive thing, right? Because she had to delete it from her phone. Agreed.

She likes Buble. If you were having a Christmas bash at your mansion, Sips, and you had all of your friends around you, all of your family, it was like a really great event and then michael buble was doing a live concert for you nah no no way because you know what it would be like everybody i would be i would be livid everybody at my house would do that shit that they do on the apprentice you know when uh when lord sugar lays on a night out for him you know when he lays on a night out for them after they've won the task and it's like all of

a sudden all the contestants turn into five-year-old children that have seen lollipops i hate that shit it drives me nuts and everybody at my house would do that if booblay turned up to do a show or whatever and i would be seething so no again count me out on that front do you reckon opera and caviar and oysters are all just this posh people part of the part of the scene they just have to do it i feel like it's like a like a 1980s posh people thing like i think nowadays uh posh posh people it's not about the caviar and stuff it's about it's about not wearing socks with your shoes on it's about having a lot of tattoos all over your arms and your chest no no that's hip and back that's hipsters all right well but yeah

these people have money though too right like you see a lot of them right but there's a difference between being rich homeless there's a difference between being rich and being posh wearing a scarf in the summer you've got a t-shirt on but then you've got a scarf too you know like these are the kind of guys i'm talking about i'm talking about posh posh people who are like they've come from money they've always they only hang around with other posh people they only go to certain events they only go on holiday to certain places it's very it's a very rigid they got the penny loafers and the chinos and they and you know they they run like three businesses no one has a haircut like these people yeah it's only a posh person's hair it's true yeah they all look like that guy they all look like the guy that had the affair with uh

princess diana what was his name again um no um fuck what was his name oh you mean the the security guy yeah yeah you know they always have that kind of like it's not quite slicked back but it's like kind of like wavy-ish blonde hair yeah and they got like a horse's ass like in tight chinos and stuff like those kind of posh people you mean no i mean like actual posh people not a fucking security guard no no but he looked posh though. He looked the part, right? He was a big emulator. Doesn't matter.

You can look the part all you like, but they'll know. They will know. They will know. They will suss you out, yeah. So I don't know, like the whole, I don't know at what point it became, because sometimes they have a kid, these posh people, and that kid actually is legit into opera or ancient Greek or something weird.

Do you know what I mean? And they're totally weird. They obsess with it as if it's actually good. So, yeah, I don't understand. Maybe it's just the fact that we were brought up watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Garbage like that instead of Beavis and Butthead. Beavis and Butthead beavis and butthead my god it's just

you have to go back and watch some clips from beavis and butthead to appreciate that that show was actually genius man it was so funny like uh you forget because it's been a while but like go back and watch some like some episodes of it holy crap it's so funny yeah anyway it's world book day today um you guys celebrating it's tomorrow oh well i know i'm sure it's crap it's so funny yeah anyway it's world book day today um you guys celebrating it's tomorrow oh well i know i'm sure it's today it's tomorrow brother did you give your son a book to take to school yeah i think you dressed him up as a book maybe my kid's school got it wrong because like they're all celebrating it today retract it is today but our kids' school is celebrating it tomorrow for reasons unknown. Right, okay. Apologies. Apologies.

No, no, no, no, no. I assume that my school was doing it on the correct day, but they are not. What are your kids going dressed as? Flax, out of interest? I'm not saying, like, it's not a competition or anything. I understand that. I'm curious. They are dressing up. So my eldest, I don't think they do it at the secondary school.

Right. My youngest is going as Dobby. Dobby? She's going as Dobby, master! I don't even know who that is. The master gave Dobby a sock! From fucking Harry Potter, it's that horrible house elf that's the fucking good old gremlin.

It's a little goblin. So she's gonna wear skinny jeans. It's the worst character of all time. We're not a Harry Potter household over here. None of my kids like it. Well, of my kids very much we very firmly are went to the harry potter studios in watford where they actually filmed a lot of it i mean for me it's like it leaves me cold i'm sorry it's it's okay you know what i mean it's all right i quite like some of the bits but 90 of the time i'm bored to tears it's just not for me which is weird because it's got wizards in and stuff like that but it's just you know it's so it's yoinked so much from other things that i

can't watch it without i'm constantly annoying my family we're watching by saying you know well that kind of reminds me of lord of the rings like i'll say stuff like that like shut up it's quite it's very clever what she did don't get me wrong but i just haven't really i've never had time for it so she wants to go as dobby she's gonna borrow an old gray sock of mine nice that's that's funny my uh my son is going as just just a plain medieval english knight right he's decided from which book from i don't know which book i think he just like i think he was he's been reading a lot of like horrible histories books and stuff. And he's just decided he likes the aesthetic.

Maybe George R.R. Martin's Game of Thrones. Maybe that's what he's doing. Maybe yeah an English knight from George R.R. Martin's Game of Thrones. He's going as that. And my daughter has gone as Wonder Woman. Yes. From which book? I'm not sure but she has a really cool Wonder Woman costume.

It's got a cape. It's got like the wrist protectors, everything. Like she's got like the tiara. Wonder Woman. Oh man. Sure. It's hilarious. Is it the modern Wonder Woman? I guess it must be, right? I don't know. What's the name? It very

much does look like... Is it very much like the Spartan look? Yeah, it's much like the Spartan look? Yeah, it's a superhero costume. There's no mistake about it. And when I dropped them off at school this morning, I noticed that superhero costumes are pretty popular for World Book Day. There were lots of Incredible Hulks. There were a couple of Batmans.

There's some Supermans and Spidermans. I don't feel this is okay. Well, I mean, they are comic book characters, so I mean, it counts. Linda Carter is the only Wonder Woman for me. I don't feel like superheroes are in the spirit of World Book Day. Oh, man. I think you should address as Jane Eyre. Okay, I'll put that one into the suggestion box for next year if you have to

dress up a lot of like classic books are just people and they don't have that odd of a costume do they i mean even sherlock holmes obviously had his deerstalker his pipe and you could probably tell from that but a lot of a lot of classic books are about regular people and it's hard to get an exaggerated costume yeah you know i guess, you don't want people asking, you know, who are you? And you're like, oh, I'm, you know, the lawyer from- The Simpsons. No. Mr. Simpson.

I'm trying to think of a book. I'm trying to think of a book. It's hard. It's World Book Day. I'm trying to think of a book, Sips, for crying out loud. I can't think of a book. I mean, I don't read. I'm stupid as fuck.

I watch trashy reality TV most of the time like i'm dumb you can't pick some critically acclaimed book like the skull letter or something like that and try to pick a character like so we're gonna know who you are no one's gonna yeah even like i guess it's just easier for kids to default to superhero yeah right because i think parents too because they all have old halloween costumes so they're, oh shit, it's World Book Day. I don't want my kid to not take part. Here, go as Dracula or whatever. I don't know, like, there's any excuse though to have a dress up day as well or a dress down day.

Well, it's a bit of fun, you know, it's a bit of fun. They don't actually have that many dress down days. Like overall, like usually end of term, there's like a dress down day. Like they have a pajama day world book day but it's not not that often you know like i'm still i'm just i'm still not comfortable with that level of superhero attendance no well i mean it's the world they're popular i mean like there's so many you know the marvel universe is bigger than it's ever been right like it's just like movies tv shows we're just we're absolutely flooded with this stuff so it's no no surprise that like

everybody's just dressing up as a superhero most people probably think they are one you know i don't know what superpowers they would have but uh but there you go i'm not gonna go and ask about comics in terms of like sitting down i mean reading a comic i've always thought go read a book is somehow it's somehow supposed to be seen as healthier yeah than watching telly or i don't think i've ever actively read comics you know like i don't even know what frequency they come out but you know like i wouldn't like go to the store and buy oh edition 450 of the silver surfer is out today you know like i would never follow a series or anything like that but i mean i've like i read like watchmen which i liked i read that like a

while a while back yeah i bought a bunch of big graphic novels yeah like the big those ones seem like okay i guess i don't know i've got i've got a lot of graphic novels a lot yeah like an awful lot i'm not like mad into them my son reads a lot of comics he. A lot. Like an awful lot. I'm not like mad into them. My son reads a lot of comics. He quite like, he gets like the Beano and he likes like Simpsons comics and stuff. Like he'll get all that kind of stuff. So I've been into comics forever. And when I was a kid, Marvel Comics, Spider-Man in particular was a big thing for me. But it was hard when you're a kid to get the issues in order because you're relying on

A, your memory as a child that it's come out and be your parents to purchase it for you so it was kind of tough but most episodes or most issues i should say of any comic especially marvel comics if it's in the middle of a storyline the first couple of pages then running over what happened in the previous issue uh reminding you who all the characters are uh and then cracking on with it i love them i thought they were fantastic i've still got them the ones that came with us when we moved over. And I love it. And it never stopped. My love of comics, when I got to the UK, I thought, oh man, that's it. They're not going to have comics. And I was super into the Beano and stuff like that.

And then 2000 AD came along when I was old enough to read that. And I found it. And this was when it was still paper. Shout out to any old 2000 AD fans. When it was like newspaper print paper, it was big. It paper and was big it was bigger than a4 it was a beautiful comic i i went and bought a shitload of them from my local comic shop in richmond about 10 years ago and i've still got them i'm obsessed with with comics i love them but i'm very particular about the ones i read so i can't just read anything do you know what i mean like i don't go in there and just pick up an issue I tend to get what about like Archie and Jughead never got into Archie and Jughead Veronica and my daughter likes my daughter like occasionally gets they still make that like

They still make some fucking on she comics. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I don't know who's reading them, but there's they're still going my daughter She fucking loves them. I don't know why she's six years old. She loves funny in there It's crazy kids love comics, too I kind of exposed them to comics early on because i thought there are tons of fun and yeah it's it's good because like uh well i mean as a parent and as you know like and nowadays there's you're always trying to to get them to do stuff that doesn't revolve around being on a tablet or a screen right because it Because it's nonstop. Everything they want to do is on these devices. It is continuous, yeah.

And they turn into fucking monsters when they've been on them too long. So, wait, wait, wait. Have you noticed a change in your kids' behavior from when they've been on a device to when they haven't been on a device? Yeah, absolutely. It's like an addiction thing. It's got to be right like it's it's when they're on it they're like completely pacified because whatever their their their brain is addicted to is being met and then the minute they come off of it um they just go wild right like

it's like they like they've been suppressed the entire time they were on it and then that sort of suppression ceases and they just go crazy like uh it's not it's not just your kids it's not just my kids like every other parent i talk to complains about the same thing like so i i'm a big defender of video games and computers uh but having now had kids grow up with these devices i i can be honest and say i i completely agree with you that there is some huge fucking difference in their brain between when they're they've been on it could be anything it can be that being on their phone for a long time playing on the on the ipad

but you know what when they're playing like a console game like when they're playing something on the tv it doesn't seem to affect them as badly like they can play they will they both play slime rancher they play the sims they play stuff like this they seem okay because they're kind of chill they're sitting back they're away from the screen i feel like when they've got this screen and they always hold it like at the end of their fucking nose it's like glued to them yeah when they've been on that it seems to really change i think it's anything i think it's i i think part of the problem is i'm i don't know if it's like the whole thing but part of the problem for sure is you you get them onto something where there's like some sort of ability to browse through a catalog of things or like a shop or something like that. And that's that is the worst, because it's like they don't know what they're doing on there.

They don't actually have an idea of what they want to be doing on there. So they're just wasting time on there. And then it's even worse when they're doing on there they don't actually have an idea of what they want to be doing on there so they're just wasting time on there and then it's even worse when they're done right because you're like all right well it's time to come off you've been on there for a while and they're like well i haven't done anything it's like well what the fuck were you doing just browsing around like why didn't you do something like you could have played a game or could have watched like something or or whatever but it's just time filler it's literally time filling browsing around like doing nothing so do you know what i think it is when they come off it i i think it's a few things i think first of all what i remember being a kid and i was bored a lot of the time because you're very active your brain is very active you want to do stuff all the time

so i understand why they're drawn to it but if you think about most games that kids play they're not particularly challenging. No. I'm not flaming. I'm not saying get good noob. All right. I'm just saying that's just how it is. Most games that the kids play are quite straightforward.

There's not much peril and all the rest of it. No, no. You're in control. You control your little person or you're controlling the game or you're dressing the people how you want. Yeah. You are the director of your life when you're playing those games. As soon as you're not,

you're confronted with the cold hard reality that life actually doesn't bend to your will. And yes, you do need to unload the bloody dishwasher. And yes, you do need to do this and do that. And they just, they get fed up and they get frustrated with other people because suddenly other people are not doing what they tell them to do.

You've gone from having total control to having almost no control. And I think they get super frustrated and it fucks with their brain. Probably. Yeah. I mean, a lot of the games nowadays are not like they were when we were kids. Like when the NES came out and like Atari and all that. All the games were based off of arcade games, right? Yeah, yeah.

And arcade games were super established back then. And they were designed in a certain way to be challenging. Frustrating. Because they wanted people to spend money on them. Stick your money in, yeah, exactly. You had to put quarters into them to play them. And then most of the console games that came off the back of that, it wasn't really until kind of like the Super Nintendo, I think,

when they started really branching out making like like elaborate games i feel like that weren't just you know quarter guzzlers sort of thing you know like it was they they sort of strayed away from like the arcade formula but whatever the um the the difference was when we were kids and like i've said this to my wife before as well was you didn't have this system that was hooked up to everything right if you had an nes you had to just have a cartridge with a game on it to play right so either you would get a game for christmas or a birthday or whatever or you would trade with a friend or something like that but you couldn't just go on to this thing and waste time you know right it was very purposeful

right so like your friend would come over you'd play a game you get sick of playing that game okay what do we do now let's just go outside like there's nothing else we can do like all i have is this cartridge million games exactly but like now it's like like my my son will have his friend over and they'll play one game and they'll die and they'll be like oh let's play something else because they have fucking thousands of games at their fingertips right they and they have all the old games too like on the switch they have like the switch arcade with all the nes classics and the snes classics and stuff and it's just too much like they the amount of choice they have is it like absolutely cripples them do you think it's given them almost a fOMO feeling about, I have to play all of these games?

You know what? I fucking blame Pokemon. I blame Pokemon for its disgusting message to kids, gotta catch them all. That's glued into their brain. Gotta play them all, gotta eat them all. No, I don't think they feel like they have to play them all, honestly. I think it's one of those things where it's like, oh, this game sucks. I died.

I'm just going to try a different one. And then they never get into anything, it feels like. I see. And then that evolution leads them to games that are deeply shallow because of it and have no value. You're right. I think that back in the day. I used to complete games.

Like if I rented a game, I completed it because that was all I was playing. Like I didn't have anything else. I have no real knowledge of what it's like bringing up a kid in the ipad generation right because i mean it must be completely different and i think i think that the question i guess we ask is like i i guess i guess as i only the only thing i can draw from is my own experience and my assumption that you know i was in my room playing some game on the super nintendo or the n64 and i was really into it and you know my parents came in to get me to get me to do some chores or something of course i'm gonna be like no i'd and and be angry about that and be pulled out of that immersion and that world i was exploring or doing or that that person

that i was talking to or interacting with you know these things are very immersive and i think more so than a book like with a book, I think you could still be immersed in a book or a comic book. But I never felt as, I don't know, angry or like broken out of it by my mum coming in and bothering me. Do you know what I mean?

And I wonder whether that's because of the nature of video games being this interactive thing rather than the book, which is very, you're being given information and having to interpret something. of the nature of video games being this interactive thing rather than the book which is very your one you're being given information and having to interpret something yeah i wonder whether it's part of your part of your brains that are are bothered almost like the same way that like um you know when an animal's eating something it doesn't want to be bothered or it'll snap or it's going to be angry it's like the food is linked to the anger kind of thing do you know i mean like

the protection or it's like something in our genetics that causes us to behave or act a certain way in response to certain stimuli anyway i think it's just a really really interesting question i don't know if i agree about the got a catchable thing got built into all of us right because i think we all love collecting we always get we seem to get great satisfaction it's a true thing right pokemon started as a card thing right and honestly some of the some of the best experiences in gaming are the games where i look back and i've 100 at them no i'm like man it was tedious and boring at the time doing it but the satisfaction of putting it on a shelf and being like that is the opposite of what we're saying which is that the easy access to everything you want yeah i think you're right like makes you crazy same like

it's the same with me they're chasing a feeling right as well they're chasing this this dream of they've had a really good experience in a video game and and they think that by searching around and trying different ones they can find that i can see the same thing happening to me like you know we we go to this board game cafe and they've got all the board games and it's like which one are we going to play kind of thing and just fucking play rebellion just fucking play star wars rebellion it's the best board game right did i tell you guys about when me and ben played that did i mention that on the podcast you did you gushed about it many times oh my god so good but you had a you had a wonderful time what were you going to say about court machines p flags about what machines about court oh my god so good but you had a you had a wonderful time what were you gonna say about quarter machines p flags about what machines about oh yeah yeah so all right so here's a

question for you and i've been trying to think of this for a while because like you said sips games originally were arcade games designed you put quarters in it's yeah fucking bastard hard oh yeah and he has and he has pretty much carried that on. But then I'm trying to think, what were the first games that came along that were widespread popular and were not in that vein? Because even the Mario games, you had a limited number of lives. You did, but I think Super...

Honestly, I think even some of the earlier Super Marios, like three probably, like the really fleshed out ones, right? That weren't just like uh level one four level two one you know like they had like the the different like worlds and zones and stuff like super super mario world was was more of like uh you know you'd explore the world there was all these little secret paths that you could unlock with like and you could collect all the stars and it didn't really

matter how many lives you had right like right because the game was very generous at there was a thing that said like continue as well yes it was very generous at keeping you alive and saving your progress and all that kind of stuff because i think i think i think it shifted though from a kind of there's an evolutionary thing where you have pinball because the first video games were these kind of like pinball type games right yeah they were like very very simple right like uh and they were to suck your money yeah so they they almost had to give you a certain amount of entertainment for a certain amount of time to get more people in to get more money and to get more goes in and i think a lot of that hangover did come into those early video games and that that design philosophy

was like oh people want to play this at home Obviously, we're not monetizing them in the same way. And it did take time for them to adjust. And I think Mario World was definitely on the cusp of that changeover period. We think of... When we're talking about arcades and we're talking about games and games that are hard and that want to eat up all your quarters and stuff like that,'s like one side of it but there's like newer arcades like there's one over here that like we've we've taken the kids to uh before and it's mostly arcade games that you would you'd recognize right like you know say tetris or like they you know newer stuff like plants versus zombies and uh they have like an angry birds one with like a slingshot like it's and like half of it is like yeah physical and then it's like virtual with you yeah yeah there's a lot of

physical stuff so there's a lot of drivers there's a lot of basketball and stuff like that but it has to offer what you can't get at home the dance machine sure yeah there's dancing there's there's drumming there's like punching stuff right right but depending on what score you get you get tickets uh that are dispensed from the uh from the arcade that you can then fucking love that yeah you redeem it for prizes and stuff right but well that's another thing sort of from from japan yes they can't the whole gambling yeah the whole gambling side of it right they get around it by giving you but most pachinko parlors will give you like a little golden token, and then you take

that next door, and you can't just convert it into cash. So here's my favourite part about the ticket machines, is you get a moderate score, and it churns out ticket machines like some 1950s stock market ticker. Yes. And I get them, and the kids are walking around with

like a bundle of these things, and they go up to the desk, and they're like, what can I get for this? And the guy's like uh i can give you a chupa chup lollipop yeah yeah exactly you've got like 10 000 tickets bag of haribo you've ever seen but it's it's it's it's it's it's good fun but man it's kind of bad at the same time right because you see adults in there too and you're just, man, it's like the gambling addiction is it's pretty bad. But a lot of this stuff is crept into, I mean, obviously has crept into into the games that we play regularly now, too. Right. With like loot boxes and shit like that. And it's oh, man, I still don't know, like how I feel about it.

Like I like I don't feel like I'm overly addicted to gambling, but I must be in some ways, right? Because a lot of this stuff I do go in for, you know what I mean? Like, it's such a weird one. But funnily enough, I've never been like too bad, like at a casino or something like that. You know, like I've been to many casinos, but like I see it it more as like i'm spending money for like a fun time with my friends i'm not necessarily yeah like i like i'll go for the experience and have some food or something but like you know i've never left a casino feeling like oh shit i gotta remortgage my house or you know what i mean like i've never gone like too crazy with it i i i i can see where

it can happen though because i certainly when i was you know i got into sort of online gambling a bit and it was a bit i was a bit reckless in some ways you know i went in with this idea that i could beat the casino you know and i had this sort of idea and um you had a plan it worked really well but then obviously after that i sort of got into poker a bit and then it went not so well because the the i could somehow convinced myself i guess that the risks were worth taking or the like um there was i had i had a way that i could beat the beat the beat the competition and i think that that's where a lot of these people come in. Like I watched this video the other day, um,

which is this guy who does like day in the life videos of this casino worker. And it reminded me of going to Las Vegas and seeing just how many people, you know, almost like queue up outside to get their machine, you know, cause they can, they're convinced that this machine is,

is somehow lucky. It's the one. And yeah. And they'll, they'll, they'll, they'll, I don't know. know they they get sucked

in um and it's kind of i think it's largely they've convinced themselves in some ways yeah they are smarter or no more or have a edge or um because they know that this that they can't win over time right like they they must know that the house has to has to win a house always wins it's it's it's ingrained right it's got to be in the back of your mind to some extent right like it's yeah it's a known it's a known thing that the house always wins so i think they've had to had to do some mental gymnastics to kind of come up with this idea that they are like somehow gonna get away with it um or get one over on them yeah and i think that that is is a big driving factor you know i think people i think also that they're being surrounded by other

people you know who are doing the same thing is reinforcing of that idea i guess so yeah like they feel they don't feel so bad about doing it because they look around and they can see other people doing it too when they see it when they when they join the queue in the morning, you know, to open and they, you know, it's kind of a weird thing. Yeah. Let's move on from that. You don't want to talk about your gambling addiction anymore. Speaking of shit from the 90s, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have released Californication, the video game.

Oh, nice. Wait, there was, wasn't, didn't they have something to do with Crazy Taxi or one of their songs was in Crazy Taxi or something? And maybe it was Californication, I think. I don't know. I feel like we've been here before with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. No, I don't know. I'm not saying we've talked about it before,

but they've done some video game stuff or something at some point, I'm sure. The Chee-Peps, apparently, as they are called. As they've never been called. No one has called them the Chee-Peps in my lifetime. That's the first one I've heard. It makes them sound like a fucking swing band ladies and gentlemen the cheap apps no it's not exact it looks like shit it looks like something from the 90s i think that may be on purpose right um there's like eight levels and they all

are kind of like it's kind of stupid like is it like a platformer? You play, like, the lead singer. What's his name? Anthony. Anthony Kiedis. Yeah. And he's got no shirt on. No, it's like a runner. It's like a death runner.

So you're running or falling or flying through things. Right. Swimming or... This looks abysmal. It does. It does. It looks like shit. This looks so fucking bad.

You could be, like, a blocky 64 bit why now why now why not why now i mean why not they're like what else are they doing you know like they they've played they've played so many concerts naked like you know which is like arguably like the you know the the biggest craziest thing you could do so like what else can they do they're just sitting around for free they're just sitting around they're just like let's make a game guys okay you can you can play it right now and the controls are you use the pc arrow keys to move a dead giveaway that it's a trash game yeah guarantee any game where you use the fucking arrow keys is trash maybe it's a huge

keylogger maybe it's because of the big trojan the music video was a shit looking video game you see that's the thing it's just a bit of a famous okay well that's all right then i thought you meant they were releasing it for money that would be ludicrous i think i hope they make a whole bunch of games based on all of their music like i hope this is just the start of something beautiful like imagine they made a game about about their song breaking the girl remember that one twisting and turning your feelings are burning you're breaking the girl they can make a game about that no like it was that was a fucking sweet immediately some of

their lesser known tunes you know you can immediately cancel well with any luck yeah i mean that's great that's the dream uh other news this week gabe has been out spotted yeah um did you notice this he was hand delivering uh some steam decks in the local area so i guess he obviously looked around for his like local in seattle i guess doesn't he live on like that millionaire's island though so what he took one to bill gates and like other notable seattle millionaires like he couldn't get into bill gates's fucking compound yeah he's that would be good yeah he's batting down the hatches right because of the whole um the whole sex island driver an uber driver there that was also a caterer and catered for bill gates sometimes right and bill gates will routinely have parties on his

fucking vast compound at which he does not attend it's just a party going on there and it's like some people he knows and oh he attends he's creepy man he's probably like it's probably like sliver style he's probably in a fucking control room with like all the cameras and shit and he's watching them all like eat uh the canapes like you know he's not he's just sat in a nook upstairs reading a comic or something well Well, he wouldn't just read one, though, Lewis. I don't know if you know anything about Bill Gates, but when he goes on vacation, he reads hundreds of books. He's a speed reader.

So if he was up in a nook reading a comic, rest assured, it would actually be 50 comics that he read in the 10 minutes he spent up there. So, yeah, Gabe's been delivering Steam decks around yeah to people i thought that was nice have you got have you ordered one did you get one pflex uh no uh no no no no did you i've got one you got one did you you got sent one yeah not by not by gabe they came around hand delivered it how did you get one did you just buy it i ordered it first wave. Oh, right. I thought the lead up was kind of like... You really made that sound very different. Yes. I got sent one.

Oh, did you really? Yes, because I ordered it and paid money. You paid money and ordered it. Well done, mate. I bought one would be the way to put that. I haven't used it yet. I don't know. I don't know why I would buy a Steam Deck.

Like, what's the... It's like a Switch. It's like a Switch, but you can play high-end stuff on it, right? It's like a big, chunky PC Switch with a worse screen. Yeah. Right. But, and... Kind of...

How do you play... Does it use, like, all this sort of, like, remote play technology or whatever? Like, if you... No, it just plays them on it. Right. So, if I want to play, like, Dota on my Steam Deck, that's possible. Like it's powerful enough to... I mean, I think so.

Well... If you'd be stupid enough to do it, you could do it. Obviously, everything is adapted to have Steam Deck controller controls in the same way that the Steam controller allows you to play XCOM. And did you try that Aperture day job or whatever it was? No. Oh, that's meant to be quite funny actually it's like it's kind of it's just like a little demo to sort of almost teach you

how to how to use the steam deck but i'll have a look it's uh it's set in portal the portal universe and is is been widely praised yeah it is it's kind of like a little sort of thing it's just a dumb little tech demo just to sort of show off the Steam Deck, you know. Interesting. Might be worth checking out. I think there's a couple of implications to the Portal universe in it as well, which was surprisingly. But there you go. I got a question for you.

How often? Ask me anything. I seem to know everything today. I don't know if you guys have noticed I'm like a fucking Fountain of knowledge I don't know what's happening It's like

You had loads of coffee And your brain is just I've had no coffee by the way I'm just wired Like I'm like I feel like I'm fucking Nemo Nemo?

Nero? 420? Nero Neo Matrix yeah Kathleen Nero From the fucking Nero

From the Matrix I now Confuse You know Control Sorry What were you saying? Was that your

Keanu impression? I now Confuse Yeah that's really cute You sounded like One of the Red Top Chili Peppers Twisting Turning

Your feelings Are burning Baby Breaking the Girl Which one would I sound like? Chad Chad Smith Flea Is that the drummer? And turning, your feelings are burning, baby. Breaking the girl. Which one would I sound like? Chad Smith?

Flea. Is that the drummer? Yeah. I just watched a documentary with him in it, actually. It was called Count Me In. With the Chee Peps? No. Like a notable member of the Chee Peps was in it. Quite a bit talking about how much he loved drumming.

But other famous drummers, too. Do you think people call the rolling stones the roastos or not the roastos the roastos you could come up you could ruin a lot of band names they would shorten the beatles to just the beats the bees the beats the beats sounds like a medical condition he's got a nasty roast though he's got a roast on his foot oh you've got to wear a special sock oh yeah so wait wait i just wanted to go going back very very quickly so we were talking about nasty Rosto. He's got a Rosto on his foot. Oh, you've got to wear a special sock. Oh yeah. So wait, wait, wait. I just wanted to go,

going back very, very quickly. So we were talking about the games. I reckon that the Zelda game on the NES, the first Zelda game might've been one of the first games that got massive popularity and wasn't anything like an arcade game. I reckon that that, that was a big thing because it was more like an adventure game.

I'm sure there'd been others. Yeah. Everybody, let's face it. Zelda was unbelievably popular. My fucking dad owned that game and he never played it. Do you remember the cartridges were gold? Yeah, they were gold, right? And it had the little save thing and a little battery.

Yeah. That was a big thing. And it was nothing like an arcade game. It was like a proper adventure game for mass consumption. Yeah. That was kind of a tipping point I think, because then a lot of other games like that started to come out. The JRPG thing. I don't know if they'd been some before Zelda or whatever, but that was certainly

the biggest one. And I just feel like a lot of games started to offer a different experience to the arcades and realize, wait a minute, we don't need to be like the arcades. We can do something else. Anyway, that's rolling back to 20 minutes ago. What is the best Zelda game, by the way? Link. Zelda 2 on the NES, yeah. The Adventures of Link. It's gotta be, right?

Okay, what's your best Zelda game, P-Flex? I can't remember them, the last time I played them, the fucking Nintendo hotline was still going. We've spoken about this before. This is a very rational thing, but apparently people always pick the game they played first, basically. I also like the Link to the Past on the SNES.

They typically don't answer you rationally. Because everyone says Link to the Past or Ocarina of Time or George R.R. Martin. Link to the Past was exciting when it came out, though. I remember it was a really big deal. You can age people with what their favorite zelda game or something this is this podcast this guy was very forthrightly arguing that link to pass was the best one it was a good one though i would agree with that

it obviously was fine sure it was good but i don't know like it came out today just the way he wouldn't even like host the conversation you know i just i just i played i played one of the ones on the super nintendo and i was not a huge fan there was way too much horse riding but like pointless horse riding you know it would just take too long to get places and you're just riding around in a meadow on your horse and stuff i did not appreciate you talking about n64 talking about the riding around i started playing fucking elden ring right it's just not for me i'm so bad at it dude i am so fucking bad at that game i can't do anything without dying it just doesn't come naturally none of it it's just a big test of patience honestly like i think have you played it

i haven't i've played like some of the dark souls games or like one of them this is not a test of patience i mean that because there are so many respawn points and generally if you have to fight a boss you can get to him again without having to do the dungeon or so it's not like that it's just fucking unbelievably hard and it doesn't help you at all like there is no information in the game about what you're doing wrong or anything it's you but it's all it it out muscle memory though right like you do the boss enough times to learn their sequences and stuff and then you you eventually beat them and i think that i was talking about this yesterday i think that is just the payoff it's it's it's completing something challenging that might take you a long time to

do but for me it's just i don't find it fun because I hate kind of the start stop of it all. You know what I mean? Like you're fighting a boss and you slash him with your sword one time and then you have to dodge for like 10 minutes, like all of his sequences and stuff. And you look at his health bar and you're like, this is going to take three hours like at this rate. And I'm sure you it's probably satisfying figuring out like, oh, I could get an extra thrust in here before I have to do 10 minutes of dodging or whatever. And I mean, the genre is hugely popular. People love it or whatever. Yeah, they do love it.

I agree with you. It's just not for me. I'm not at all interested in it. People are saying this is a masterpiece, the best game possibly ever made. Yeah, I've heard. People are going nuts for it, yeah. That's ridiculous. It is not the best game possibly ever made yeah people are going nuts for it yeah that's ridiculous it is not the best game ever made come on it's not the best it's obviously well it's visually impressive i mean i've seen people playing it but this harkens back to the core of what we were talking about today which is really hard video games you know games used to be punishingly hard and maybe that was something that we we forgot i've come to the conclusion that i don't want a game to be hard i want a game to

make me hard and that's why i've been playing a lot of sex poker recently and perfect lover as well vr which thank god it came out because holy crap i've been jacking off so much like uh i've just been jacking off the storm in here like i can't stop jacking off we always we always leave this to debate and i think it's different for everyone and obviously people there's a there's a certain audience of people who played chivalry back in the day and then they're like maude howe and for honor and all these types of games right it's the same with dark souls it's got its own genre yeah and you know this is the same team who made Dark Souls, what, fucking more than 10 years ago,

you know, like 15 years ago, Dark Souls. And then Dark Souls, even Dark Souls 3 was at least six years ago. It was in the old office, you know,

when that came out. So, I mean, they've made Sekiro, but apparently it's a side team who made that and Bloodborne as well. So, there's certainly people who have

played one i played that one i played sekiro enjoy them all when it came out because it was it just come out everybody was super hyped about it and i thought whatever i'll give it a try like i'm not really into dark souls games but maybe i'll like this one or whatever and uh it took me like two hours to beat like what turned out to be a tutorial boss. And I was just like, I just don't know if I have the stamina for this. I think that's exactly what happened to me in Dark Souls 3. Just don't find that enjoyable, really. Yeah. Like, I remember playing Dark Souls on Xbox in the lounge with Simon for some reason.

And I just remember like it was the only time in my life i ever broke an xbox controller a controller of any kind because i was just so i guess like frustrated or like i don't know like i don't know i probably because i was playing with someone i'd probably be showing off but the aesthetics of dark souls i don't know if you guys agree with this gives me a headache i find it so miserable like everything just looks brown and like very depressing i don't know i hate like the art style i hate how your character looks like there's just there's a lot i just don't like about it just doesn't click with me i wonder though like i wonder whether it like hones you you know like a blacksmith's forge you know it turns you into a tougher, more resistant gamer.

I don't know, man. To deal with the trials and tribulations that life throws at you. Yeah, I know. Barry fucking loved it, right? He played 60 hours of Elden Ring. 60 hours in like a week or something like that.

He finished it in a week. He caned it. It's a Barry boy game. Fair play to him. But it just doesn't come naturally at all. It's taken me 10,000 hours of Dota to get moderately acceptable on a handful of heroes. I'm not good at video games.

Well, I think people play them a lot and learn a lot and research them a lot and people get into them. I think that if you're into a game game you're going to discuss the strategy and things and read the forums and read join the discord and talk to other people play with other people and you're gonna get passionately excited about it and i think that that you know it's the same with doctors i know barry the only reason he finished it was because he wanted to start again with a different class yeah he tried because because the game is a kind of like it's a

it's a game that lends itself really well to like speed running and stuff like that too right like um yeah once you've mastered it rhythm you go back through and then you try to do it in fast times and so i i get the appeal like i really i understand why people like it and there's a there's probably a lot of value in it and stuff too. But man, I disagree with Lex. Just not for me. So, okay. Before we finish, I want to talk a bit about this. We've got time for this, right?

This might take a while. I don't know. We'll see. Ben sent me this article when I was reading it. You know how we talked a bit about billionaires before and these guys spending their money to suddenly... It turns out that they've been diagnosed with some illness that's untreatable and suddenly they're putting millions into it hoping that they'll find a solution before they die of it.

Jeff Bezos has been meeting... Bezos. Richest man in the world has been meeting with large groups of scientists and he's just set up a company okay uh to rejuvenate uh i assume himself but currently animals um so there's this ambitious new anti-aging company oh i heard about this yeah i guess bezos altos i don't know maybe he's just feeling a bit tuckered out you know he just needs a rejuve i mean if i was a billionaire i'd want to fucking live forever as well because you'd think i've literally this is the best life imaginable i have won at life

i need to maintain this for as long as possible and as you get older you start to worry about these things so he would be like what could i do with my money i can either just keep fucking going to space with william shatner i mean how long is that going to be interesting or i can figure out a way to live forever which would actually be possible so he set up several institutes in san francisco bay area san diego cambridge japan and has recruited a large cadre of university scientists with lavish salaries so that they

can pursue unfettered blue sky research on how cells age and ultimately how to reverse the process. Wow. What do you think? I think it's a good thing because it might lead to all kinds of interesting medical developments.

Yeah. So obviously Larry Page has done a similar thing with Calico Labs, which is a longevity company. And it's been working on some stuff. There's a few very strange people involved. So there's this guy, Juan Carlos Belmonte, who's a spanish biologist who has mixed together human and monkey embryos right he thinks that he can increase human lifespans by 50 years but that's not going to apply to the vast majority of people though that's just going to be i mean this is all private private enter yeah but i mean that's that mean, that's the biggest joke of all, right?

This is some fucking, like- No, no, no, but like, for example, cars were the preserve of the very wealthy. Flight, you know, plane travel was the preserve of the very wealthy. Yeah. Now everybody has a car and everybody fucking takes flights all the time. So, although it might seem in the short term like this is only a benefit to the rich, these developments will get out there and people will be able to do them. It will be a positive, a positive i think the only the only way they'll

think there should be less people in the world no i'm not saying that there should be less people but i'm just saying that unless this treatment has the ability to turn like an 80 year old back into like a 15 year old right right uh it's never going to be rolled out to the masses because there's there's no point right like they they don't want to no i don't think i don't think these guys want old people living longer sort of thing unless there's a ton of money to be made off the emperor the emperor from fucking warhammer 40k is just like a shell yeah i think what they're saying is that you could rejuvenate people's selves so that they are able to regenerate

new cells and, for example, let's say your hair's fallen out, right? They might be able to find a way to cure that. So let's not shoot it down. Yeah, I think it's a weird one. I don't know. So there was this guy, Shinya Yamanaka, right? He thinks he had this discovery that cells can be uh instructed to revert back to stem cells right that's the idea um and so he actually did try it on on mice and some sometimes

the mouse showed some signs of age reversal and sometimes they were covered in horrific tubers and tied good excellent it sounds like some shit out of a good hollywood sci-fi movie it's a work in progress uh it sounds like mad science uh and i'm i'm terrified personally i i think that, you know, these things, we can't talk about extending life without like talking about, to some extent, allowing death, right? Because death is this great taboo that we don't talk about and that we try and prevent at all costs and human life is sacred. And even if it's illegal often to, you know for terminally ill people to to have assisted suicide and things like this it's very it's very and i i'm even like cagey now about what's lewis gonna say is he gonna say oh you're lewis you have control you know what you're gonna say or are you just watching from behind your eyes well but always, it's easy just to not have an opinion, right?

As a creator like me. I don't want to... It's easier for me just to not say how I feel. Right, right. But I guess what I'm saying is that I don't... The way I see this science happening as someone who has been in this world is that these things take a long time and

the first wave of them are pretty shit um and often have unexpected side effects and often you know medicine normally unless in a pandemic takes you know 10 15 years to get to market um you know unless you're a real special case or you're in a kind of case study. Sometimes, you know, we've got sort of medications for cancer and stuff and like this now, but they might not be available for 10 years because they have to go through this very rigorous process, right? So I don't think in our lifetime this stuff is going to happen. I mean, also, you think of it as this dreamboat Hollywood idea of suddenly you turn

from a old man to a young man again i think the reality is that certain cells in our body can't you know are locked in nah there's always going to be a way we just aren't going to get there yeah i don't know like i don't know if we can de-age our brains and stuff like this i don't know what these guys you know it's all essentially just chemical reactions and fucking electricity it'll just be like it'll be a mix of of this like uh cell treatment stuff but they'll what they'll do is they'll probably just like in a lab grow young bodies and then just transplant their brains into them like old man's war yeah something like that it'll be some shit like that for sure right listen eggheads i've laid on this lab for you oh wow i love a lab this lavish genetic experiment that would be the reward at the

end of the week as a special reward for a good performance you're all going to research longevity at my special lab that i've laid on for you tell him he is so yeah i don't know like i don't know how i feel about this in general i i guess i'm i'm happy that his money isn't just being spunked into he's not just buying pointless space garbage and he still is though didn't he buy a yacht in a place that couldn't support his yacht and they have to dismantle bridges and shit? That was in the Netherlands. But would we rather that billionaires did that or some wacky, we're going to extend people's lives? Because governments aren't investing in this shit in any way near the amount that you need.

It's all private industry. So if Jeff Bezos and all these fucking super rich guys are sitting looking, we've got fucking 50 billion quid, what are we going to do with it? and all these fucking super rich guys who sit and look and we've got fucking 50 billion quid what am I going to do with it? If they're going to dump money into science and fucking medical research even if it's for their own fucking gain and they hope to live forever

I don't give a shit. Something will come from it that is of benefit to the species that we are a part of. So I'm all for it. Let them spend their money on this shit. Go for it. Please.

It's much better than fucking buying a yacht. Yeah, it is. I hate it. But at least it's something better than fucking buying a yacht yeah it is i i hate it but at least it's something that isn't just nothing i'd rather that he was slightly aware i mean even even bill gates at least tried to sort of get rid of you know polio and do a lot of work and try and you know eliminate some of the things that are killing millions of people today right you know rather than trying to extend his dick a bit further right but bill's got that covered more people's doing that jeff's got to do something else right he's got to work on yeah work on him

good for you jeff you do well done jeff yeah for what keep on keeping on i don't i don't need an extension maybe maybe when i'm 70 I'll say different But I don't think I want To live forever I want to do the head freezing thing And then be woken up in a thousand years I want to do that That terrifies me

I don't want to do that either When I'm gone I hope they incinerate me And I'm gone for good I don't want to come back i want to come back i don't want any surprises where we are i want to be like you fly me into the sun yes i want cool stuff please flying cars all that i want to see it let this be our living will yeah consider this a legally binding document when i perish freeze my head and save my brain and

then give me a new robot body in in the year 3000 oh my god can you imagine you like yep i'd love it you would i'd love it walking around you want your brain to be cry gently frozen i would love that i would love that i don't know if it works though no no but it might that's what i'm saying it's better than just literally saying okay right but what if what if this all happened right and then you woke up 3 000 years later and everything was fine you were like cool it's the future or whatever but then you found out that uh the technology at the time wasn't quite there but they really wanted to preserve your brain uh as best as they could and the only way they were able to do that was with like the essence of dead

babies so like to keep you alive for 3 000 years they had to just murder like babies and babies and babies and babies to keep you alive how the hell would you feel about that well do they have to have like come straight from a swing set or something like they were whether it was the joy yeah it was like it was like the moment right before the nuclear explosion in Terminator 2. Everybody was just having the best fucking time. They had a chooper choo. They'd done the day in the arcade. But then old Linda, she knew what was coming.

Nobody was listening. Remember that? So here's my question. First of all, I must have died a very important person for them to be doing the baby killing thing to make me- Well, I mean, let's face it. It's not the done thing. It's just big farms of them in the future. You're like the test case. You're like the patient zero for the whole thing, right? Well, they pick me for the baby killing longevity thing. They choose me.

Yeah. Well, you know, when I wake up and be like i had no idea international yeah yeah yeah it's been 3 000 years since we had a 3 000 we need you we need the legendary hosted by period flax the ever living think of all think of all like the uh the mid-show content you'd be able to do like items long forgotten you're like 3 000 years worth of forgotten dota items like how many matches food oh man food yeah we loved food remember oxygen oh wow remember trees oh man oh man yeah i i feel like i feel like that it's too risky to to think to to want to do that

kind of stuff you know because you never know there's always got to be somebody's always got to suffer right for you to to be able to to pull this off to to survive or somehow we'll come back 3 000 years later it's always going to be at some at the somebody else's detriment right no it has to be what you mean what like the security guard who's had to like watch your cryogenically frozen hands exactly yeah and but like over over the time because you're in like a very lonely bunker deep underground it was just you and him he's developed a very very parasocial relationship with your frozen brain. And then when you wake up 3,000 years later,

he's like fucking obsessed, but also disappointed that you're not the person he thought you were. I always, I don't know. I'm like Wilson and Caldwell. I don't even, I don't even know if they're able to cryogenically freeze your brain properly with current technologies. No, I mean, they freeze it, but I don't know if it's dying. If they were to somehow regenerate it-

Well, it's always dying, right? Right, right. But if you freeze a head, are any of those memories persistent? Because I thought memories were based on neurons, right? Yeah, I think those would degrade over time. So if they brought you brought you back to life would you remember anything would you be able to do anything yeah i think you'd be a vegetable i'm not uh smart or scientific or anything but i feel like there's no way that you'd just be i suppose my waking up after all that and just being like hey uh anybody see my wallet? You know, like...

Does anyone see my phone? Did you delete that browser history? Anybody remember the cheap apps? Any cheap apps? I got it on my phone here. Has anybody beaten my high score on Californication yet? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Is memory a physical thing

and you just have to run a charge through the brain and it all comes back? Or is it a question of something else? I don't know. I mean, I thought it was neurons that all connected, but then how they connect is what defines memory. It's all fucking- it's so complicated. Well, Bessar's in his crew are going to figure it out. What if you fucked your memory in some things you would remember and other things you would half remember? Like you would- because your brain hadn't come back properly. Can you remember something that's just a fragment brain hadn't come back properly can you remember something that's just a fragment but like imagine a name where you could only remember the first

half of an of a thing oh man would you would you remember half of the words you'd learned could you could only half of your body remember how to walk and the other half doesn't like what the fuck man imagine you remember how to jack off but you don't remember how to come and it's like you're just constantly just checking off you can't i'm just putting it out there you know come on i'm just trying to think i forgot how to come oh man help this man we're gonna freeze your body until we come up with a technology to help you remember how to come thank god i can't remember are you in. Thank God. I can't remember. So you had 3,000 more years. I am so stupidly curious about the future and the universe and all that, that I would even accept, and this is going to be controversial,

I would accept an alien invasion where the human race is enslaved and they ship us to all these other planets to do menial work just to see what's out there. Oh, God, really? There really are aliens. That would be amazing. That would be enough for you. Like this is miserable life of interplanetary enslavement,

just so that you have that knowledge, that you have that satisfaction of knowing the truth was out there. Yeah. I'd be like, wow, there are aliens. And you'd work in an office with other aliens and species. You could, presumably you'd be able to read about their world history. No, no, no, no, no, wow, there are aliens. And you'd work in an office with other aliens and species. You could presumably you'd be able to read about their world history. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You would be the equivalent to them as your dog is equivalent to you.

You would not let your dog do your filing, would you? No, but I'm just saying it's menial work. You know, what would you let your dog do? For some reason, all right, just bear with me. The super advanced alien race doesn't have robots or computers that can do this they're just like we need some bodies to fucking do this

filing and they come and invade earth and they whip us off around this universal empire yeah to do some some filing

no one's doing filing these days I'm sure there are people out there who do filing that are listening to this podcast no one is doing

filing I guarantee there is someone right now listening to this podcast and they're literally they've stopped what they're doing

and they've got a shocked expression on their face. They're like, they're talking about me. I am filing right now. Lewis is wrong. I file every day. If you are stood there in front of an open filing cabinet and you're doing filing. Someone is doing that as we speak.

They're like probably 16 years old and it's probably work experience. Take a picture and tweet it at us. And their name is Tina Tina if you're listening to this Take lunch early Have an early lunch and send us a picture of the filing cabinet That you're working on right now

Why do you pick these archaic names Tina Her name is Linda Tina or Linda I'm getting a Tony is coming through You don't get many lindas nowadays or tony's right like a lot of these names have just become unpopular they'll come back around yeah sarah laura i met a kid called martha the other day martha wow that's come

around there's like the old people's names have come back in like olive and edith yeah i know a ton of olives and edith okay so far the the most popular baby names of 2022 uh number one is uh olivia for a girl and noah for a boy yeah yeah noah that's an old one that name goes back okay look at the top um the top five for girls is olivia emma amelia ava and sophia yeah they all end fucking a i believe it as well because honestly that those are the names of everybody in my daughter's class right now like uh times five or however many people are in the class like that's all their names and then for boys it, it's Noah, Liam, Oliver, Elijah, and Matheo. Elijah.

Elijah? Elijah? Matheo. Matheo. He sounds like a Casanova on the mic, doesn't he? Yeah. That's that slimy Greek player. Lucas Levine?

Has an affair with your wife. James is still popular. Is number eight. Ethan? It's a great name. And Grayson. Grayson?son yeah like grayson perry the potter g-r-a-y-s-o-n grayson he's gonna be called like gayson that's what they're gonna call him at school my first name is just not even on the list it's a top 50 and uh's just not there. Sips.

Yeah, Sips is not there. Weird, eh? I know quite a few Teddies and Edwards. So little people being given my name. So where's the regal name though? To cracker. Edward's not in the top 50 either, but Ezekiel is. Fucking Ezekiel.

And Kai. K-A-I. Fuckin' hell. Yeah, people don't know what a name is, give their kids names like that. No offense to anyone out there whose kid is called fucking Kai. Or Ezekiel i can't believe that kai k-a-i yeah people don't know what a name is give their kids names like that no offense anyone out there whose kid is called fucking kai or ezekiel but come on you're not a character in a fucking fighting game jackson this is a fighting character's name jackson jackson j-a-x-o-n jackson he would be the only he would be the only black jackson washington jackson wins He would be the only black character. Jackson Washington wins.

Jackson wins. Oh, fucking hell. Michael is still going strong. Number 32, Michael. Henry as well. Such a boring name. Henry. Henry's the guy reading the comics.

These are his boys' names. What about Gianna? Number 12 for girls. Evelyn. Gianna. Aurora. Nova. Oh, my God. Penelope. Nova. What about Gianna? Number 12 for girls. Evelyn? Aurora? Nova? Oh my God.

Penelope? Nova. Penelope is number 19. Nova? You're shitting me. Abigail? I guess that's a kind of a classic though. Abigail's been around for a while.

Some people give their kids names like, that are just so fucking random. We don't make it. Leilani. Leilani is number 34. L-E-I-L-A-N-I this is our daughter Nova Magnificence Regality Queen Epiphany

Smith we live in a council estate she is the best child ever so we had to give her the most ridiculous just fucking call her Tina and crack on with it, all right? Tina's a perfectly good name. Tina. And this is her brother, Junkrat Pudge Master Chief Clark.

What the fuck? Pudge. This is my son, Chen. He's very low-priced. Door breaker, bring me my slippers. Yes, father! Oh, fuck's sake. Oh, man. very low door breaker bring me my slippers yes father oh fuck's sake oh man

anyway we're done anyway we're done anyway alright thank you everyone we'll see you next time

see ya alright take it easy bye