Triforce! - Triforce! #214: Lewgit the Fell Omen's Hot Takes

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

Triforce! Episode 214! Lewis has some hot takes on Elden Ring including "it's not hard" and "most items feel pointless". Also, Sips waves goodbye to the worst season of the Apprentice yet! Visit http://joinhoney.com/TRIFORCE to get Honey for free. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ignore my dryer. It's okay. I didn't realize it was on. It's doing that thing, you know, where it stops and then starts up again. It's the fourth member of the Triforce podcast. That's the benefits of recording in the garage, Well, yeah, I know. I mean, hopefully at some point the dryer won't be out here because there's plans afoot. But for now, the dryer is out here.

When it stops, do you think it's like, is it taking a little rest? Or is it thinking? Is that how long it takes the dryer to think? No, I think it has like a sensor in it where it can like detect moisture or something like that. So why is it stopping? Because it gets so hot in there, it can't detect moisture anymore. I see.

So it's like, oh, it's done. Yeah, yeah. And then it goes, wait a minute. As the heat dissipates, it picks up more moisture. It's like, hang on a sec, these aren't dry. Gotcha. Captain, the towels are not dry. They must turn on again so i've got a setting on mine that is

cupboard dry extra yes i have that setting too so cupboard dry how is that different from any other kind of dry because dry is dry yeah well i mean dry is dry but like i like there's a difference between like for example drying your clothes outside on a line right uh as opposed to putting your stuff into like an airing cupboard after it's been dried like it's a different dry like it's a it's it's less define it for me it's less crisp like it feels like uh it feels like the like the clothing is still not wet or even damp, I would say, but just like not crispy dry like it would be outside. It's still malleable rather than rock hard. Yeah, if you dry something outside, it's like, holy crap.

It's like you bring in a piece of cardboard, right? Like it's just... Right. Yeah, there's obviously, you don't want to put stuff in the cupboard if it's still got a chance of being wet. You know, it's not ready to go away, right? But there's obviously levels. You know, you've got sun-dried, which is obviously quite dry. But you're talking about the methodology of the drying.

Oven-dried. That would be quite weird. Right, but here's the thing. I'm never putting it away in the cupboard unless it's dry. So for it to be called cupboard dry must mean there are other forms of dry, which would be acceptable to, for example, wear or store somewhere outside a cupboard. But what are they? What is other? The only dry I need is, are my clothes dry enough for me to put them away?

I mean, there's also the option of ironing them when they come out of the tumble dryer. Oh, come on. People have different hanging requirements, though, too, right? Some people won't hang their stuff out unless it's a certain level of drying. And then maybe you might want to hang it outside. You don't want it to be... Well, you're going to tumble dry it and then hang it outside?

Oh, we've got both, yeah. A lot of people do that. In the summer, hanging stuff outside is like, man, it's crazy. Right, but you don't tumble dry it first. No, of course not. No no you just go straight out so what i'm saying is you're never going machine to line so you don't need it to be line dry like you can then hang it on a line the tumble dryer just hang it on the line we use the tumble dryer a lot in the winter obviously because it can't really hang clothes right right but um in the in the summer we we still use it quite a bit, but only for towels, linens and stuff, right?

Because like you can't really put that on the line because it's awful. They always hang down a little bit. They just go rock hard too, like my dick when I'm thinking about laundry, obviously. But no, like it's like that. So the tumble dryer like makes stuff soft you know when you when you i don't know i don't know what it is you can put those sheets in sometimes as well like those drying sheets that have like the the nice smell on them i don't know i think that like softens up the fabric too we don't use them but like i've i've seen them before and um but yeah like all

of our other clothes just go out on the line because you can just you can do so much uh washing and like our line's pretty big so you can do so much washing and like our lines pretty big. So you can put a shit ton of stuff out there. It's great. Like the turnaround time for clothes drying in the summer is insane. It's like so good. Well, I've looked up on Montpellier appliances. Yeah.

The definition of popular tumble dry settings. Right. OK. Sensor dry. tumble dry settings right okay sensor dry so sensor dry means that the drum sensor has detected the moisture and as soon as the clothes are dry irrelevant of what cycle you put them on it'll stop right okay so sensor dry means just tumble them until you think they're dry just just do it and when this drum says yeah they're dry i'll take your word for it extra dry which is slightly longer cycle time you're forcing it to to dry for longer and it

ensures that bulkier items will dry yes all right ideal for things like bedding and towels yes yes cupboard dry this setting ensures your laundry is dry enough to be put away immediately once the cycle is complete right now my question is what's the difference between cupboard dry and extra dry because if you're even drying up bulky items with the extra dry, I would say they would also then be cupboard dry. Which means one of them must be less dry than the other. Maybe it's just a feel-good setting. Maybe it's just like, maybe it's a setting they put on there

just to appeal to the older demographic of people buying. Because younger people aren't really going to understand the notion of an airing cupboard right like they're not gonna they're not gonna appreciate the cupboard dry whereas like your mom probably will sort of thing so she goes out and buys a dryer and she's like i don't know what a sensor dry is or anything but i tell me when it's i love an airing cupboard and there's a button on here that says cupboard dry, so that must be it. I think it's like a toaster.

It's for people who are using larger thick slices of bread in their toaster and want an extra setting. You have to use your discretion. I think it's easier to call it cupboard dry rather than level six and extra dry rather than level five. True. I guess you're right. Yeah.

I just would like it more defined. Also, when it comes to toast, I've got a question about you guys. Okay. All right. How toasted do you like it? I like it pretty toasted. Do you know what? Yeah.

Cupboard toasted or extra toasted? I like toast when it's not at my house or made at my house i like toast like when you go to like a cafe or like a buffet or something the toast is always better i don't know how they do it but my my toast at home is always kind of boring and i find toast outside of the house you've got exciting in within your premises yeah something's going on with the toast. The toast ain't working. There's something going on, yeah. Maybe the setting is not right or like... I think it's the bread, though.

You have like, you know, standard white square slices, whereas whenever you have toast out, they always have some sourdough... Yeah, that's nice too, actually. That's nice. I'll be honest with you, the reverse is true, in that we always have the sourdough toast, but sometimes you just want a nice piece of plain white toast. Yeah.

Have you ever had a sourdough bagel before? They're nice too. No. Oh, they're really nice. It's like just bagels. Is it still boiled? Well, yeah, it's all the same. Like, I don't know like how they do it, but it's just like a thicker bagel.

Like, it's just really nice. It's hard to get a good bagel from the supermarket. Yeah. They're all flimsy, right? Like do you ever get those ones where they just go like floppy? Like they're not, they don't have any... It's not a bagel. They don't have any oomph in them. It's just bread in a circle. Yeah.

Yeah. It's bread in a circle is not a bagel. That's not a bagel. It's not the solid... You need it solid, right? And you have to have some seed on it too, like some poppy seed or some sesame seed. Oh, you like that? Oh yeah, yeah. I don't want it seed. I'm a big fan of some seeding. You do need a bit of seeds.

I like my bread smooth as a baby's loaf of bread. Nice, yeah. That's how it is. No shit on it. I don't think you're supposed to give babies loaves of bread. I don't know. Well, no, you don't have to give them, but they make them. That's baby bread. They just bake it right up. Famously.

Bake that shit in the oven. I like my toast, yes. No black on it. I don't like any charred bits of burn. I like a little bit. I like. I don't mind a little bit. Have you ever had an open campfire toast before?

You ever toasted bread? Campfire toast? Yeah, you ever toasted bread, like, on an open fire? No. Out in the wilderness? Like a marshmallow. It's kind of nice, actually. Remember, we have a portage like you have.

Some serious burning can occur if you're not careful, but there's a special tool you can get where basically it's like a sheet metal in the shape of a piece of bread. And you can put the bread in there and just hold it over the fire to stop it from burning, but it toasts it up real nice man it's kind of good like well like it's like you're holding up a sort of banner with um a bread slice of bread toast yeah we support toast yeah that's the banner we should well this podcast has been going for six years now yeah man and we keep mentioning portage we're gonna get too old to portage if we're not

careful we're never gonna portage i'll spoil that for you come on never say never you never know one day you might have to do a portage who knows like you never know what the future holds i am not ever doing something like that people die out there in the wilderness and uh i've got no they don't die as often as you think they do like still too much like the the modern preparations you eat those mres and stuff like that you're you're halfway there honestly like in my kitchen yeah but come on i mean it's what's the difference you just you know open it up in a trench that you dug yourself on an island that you've portaged to next to a hole that you dug to poop in like it's it's all the same that sounds like really it's all the same shit this is what i don't get about it right is you're going out of your way to have to do things that are

otherwise convenient where you are yeah i don't want to have to dig a hole to poop it's not about convenience when you're doing a portage you're not doing it to experience convenience you're doing it to experience something a little bit different to the norm think of it like hanging out your washing as opposed to cover drying it. Yeah, of course. You lose something. You're comparing hanging out your laundry. You're feeling a little bit saucy one day

and you just think, you know what? Screw this modern life. It's time for a portage and off you go with your MREs and your spade. You're ready to... I'm good. That's all you need. A little tent.

Happy at home. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, so you're not into camping. You're going to have to take your kids away and do this. No. They need to be given this education. No, they don't. You know going to have to take your kids away and do this. They need to be given this education.

No, they don't. They can't grow up all sheltered and coddled with their sourdough toast. They absolutely can. They never know what it's like to have a normal piece of white bread posted on a fire over a portage. Do you know how they know what it's like to have a normal piece of white bread? Because we got an Ocado replacement item the other week. They couldn't get our regular bread so they gave us a big old doorstop thick white bread.

Honestly, I get supermarket deliveries of food to houses and stuff like that and how that's become really big. And honestly, I do understand the whole delivery of food to house thing but do you think it's gone like a bit mad now? Like there's people saying that they're spending like five figures a year on like food delivery and stuff. And to me, that says that that's all they eat, which is kind of crazy. No?

Like that can't be right. I know. They order out for every meal. Yeah. Like they never cook. They order in everything. And I think that's crazy. That's alarming to me like i i think well i think it's i think it's so easy though it's a slippery slope as well right and also it's like if it's cold and you're feeling miserable you know you

could just kind of do it i suppose i think that when you have disposable income why not but yeah much like everything you it is expensive. You're not going to have much disposable after spending five figures on delivery food a year, though, right? That's like all of your money. This is just the latest thing, though. It's always- Before that, though, we were like, oh, this is crazy that people go and buy an eight-pound Starbucks coffee and sandwich every morning. Yeah, now it's become hyper normalized.

It's not all that different, really. Like, I suppose it's up to people what they want to, how they do their self-budget. You constantly see these like Reddits where it's like, you know, money saving and things like this. And they're like, just trim out all of your unnecessary expenses. And then, you know, you look at someone's budget and you realize that they're just wasting vast amounts of money

having overpriced sushi delivered or whatever to their places every day. I used to go out when I worked in an office. I designated myself as the guy who would go and get the sandwiches in the morning. Right. We sat in a large, not like a not an open plan but it was like cubicles you know um so the team i was on was reasonably big and this was when i was on the team we were all about the same age we're all in our sort of 20s apart from maybe a couple of

people so we were all on the same page when it came to being hungry uh the way young people are all the time and we were like i was like uh anyone want a sandwich and i'd always get like three or four people said oh yeah yeah yeah i wanted to just get out of the office so people thought it was like a nice thing i was doing i guess but i think in the back of their minds they must have realized that i knew it was a guaranteed half an hour outside the office because i have to get all the orders and then go down to the shop which was was like a 10-minute walk. I'd really go very slowly, get in there, get the order, come back. I can imagine you like sauntering down and whistling. Exactly right.

Really not in a hurry. And then come back. And then, of course, we have to eat the breakfast. And then there's a bit of, oh, that hit the spot. And prior to that, that would probably take me to about 10 30 in the day because i'd wait till about 10 that's when i'd do the sandwich rum and i'd come back and we'd eat so that's like a full half an hour wasted nine to ten i'd come in there's a lot of stretching and just check up the messages oh you know catching up with people chatting how would you do yesterday

talking about stuff you'd seen because nobody expects you to work as soon as you tell you don't sit down at the desk and start pounding away. No. You say hello to people and stuff. So I would stretch that into a good 45 minutes. So at the end of that period, I had to look busy for 15 minutes before the sandwich run. And then, that's 10.30. Lunch is at 12.

So they've only got an hour and a half to fill. I can easily fill an hour and a half. Easily. Without doing any work. I was a terrible employee. I mean, most people are, though. I was just about to say how I think most people are pretty bad. What did you do where they said, why haven't you done any work today?

Well, luckily, they never really gave me any work to do. Yeah, that can happen. It was always like, I know that. Just not giving me any work. I've started to be a bit like that myself. Some of it wasn't very difficult. I did this thing the other day where I put together this spreadsheet

and I was like, I've done this spreadsheet, we can use this. And someone was like, oh, I've done that as well, can we use my one? And I was like, sure. Because I just didn't want to rock the boat. I was like, you know what, if you're going to just do the same work I'm doing, waste your time. It's your own time you're wasting uh

i was just like i was just like that's just that's just normal office shit isn't it you know two people doing the same thing and neither of them being caring enough to um to tell the other one not to waste their time most jobs are shit most. Most jobs, I don't really care what it is. Anybody out there listening, most jobs, what you do, nobody gives a shit. Your manager doesn't give a shit. The company doesn't give a shit. The bigger the company,

the less of a shit they give about most jobs. You just do some little thing. And as long as you've got basically a week to do anything, I'm saying right now, no company moves that fast once it gets big it's all fucking slow as shit and they delegate all these jobs out and most of it is wank they've got too many employees the managers are fucking doing fuck all it's all a load of shit it's just that absolute wank then there are jobs where you just seem to be working all the

time yeah that's mrs f's job my nightmare she works all the time she's since since the weekend monday she was working until like eight nine o'clock in the evening yeah tuesday she had to go out all day like not just the office but go collect stuff go here there and everywhere and then yesterday she was in the office again i had to go somewhere like she had to get a train somewhere do some work there then she got sent something by a client, a computer that she had to image that had to be done that evening so that she could courier it back that evening and they would have it first thing in the morning,

all this kind of shit. It's like, she's really fucking working. I'm like, that is what a job looks like. Yeah. I didn't have a job. I was just employed. Yeah. But they didn't really need me.

No. Anybody could have, you know, easily doubled up and they still wouldn't have filled all their time and you could have done my job. I think companies just don't really know what people do a lot of the time no in their office they don't really sure it's like every every business is is like especially big companies right they have like like over over here for example they have uh they they almost have to like because of the like tax benefits and everything. I think a lot of companies are sort of turn around and say, oh, yeah, great.

We love these tax benefits. Can we just have a room with a phone sitting on the floor sort of thing? Will that be enough? But then the Jersey government's like, no, you have to hire like a thousand people because of the amount of money that you're making to, you know, for us to allow you to come over here. the amount of money that you're making to you know for us to allow you to come over here so it's like you you hire a thousand people but you only need like one of them to actually do anything and then everybody else just sits around you know going to get the coffees and you know organizing the lunch for everybody like the non-work stuff you know what i mean yeah i worked with tons of people like that i guess i was one of them too Maybe I just didn't realize it at the time. But I mean, certainly like a lot of the projects that I worked on never went anywhere.

Like we would work on something, work on something, work on something. They're like, oh yeah, it's going to be just wait till we deliver this. We deliver it. Nothing. It would just get scrapped after a couple of weeks. Like it was just a waste of time. But those are the best jobs though, honestly. Because like, I mean, I wouldn't want to work all the time.

Like, you know, if you're going to work hard all the time, it's something like, I don't know. I wouldn't want to be doing that for somebody. And especially not for like, to get like underpaid for it as well, right? Like most people are. Yeah, that's the sad thing I think is that a lot of people have, like this why i i think the working from home thing was was really good because i think it liberates people from the oppression of having to go into an office and look busy if you're worried that people aren't going to be doing the work you you you should know because the deliverable at the end of their work won't be there and then you can fire them yeah but if you're giving people work to do and they're completing it to your satisfaction doesn't matter if 90 of the time they just have

to look busy yeah if you want give them more work and see if they can do that as well just give them some rather than do this to some extent before standing over you as a manager give them some more envelopes to lick or like some filing to do or something like that i'm sure there's some stuff like there for them to isn't it weird like how like but but i think it varies right this reminds me of thinking about elden ring okay i don't want to open that can of worms too much obviously i've been sick for the last couple of weeks um never actually tested positive for covid i went through like five lateral flows and then i had like an actual PCR that I had to mail off. Right.

Yeah. There's like a priority mailbox. You can send a PCR back. Don't want to empty that mailbox, by the way. I don't want to be the postman. Yeah. Christ. Holy crap.

Anyway, sent it off. Didn't actually get a positive, but I felt crap. So probably did have COVID. My partner had COVID. So I probably did have it. And it was it was shit by the way just don't want to don't want to go into it too much but my main problem is i'm one of these sleepers who's like really sensitive i'm a sensitive little boy i can't yeah

i'm not i'm not one of these people like you guys who can basically just fall asleep sat up right with the dryer going and a child screaming in your ear on a plane do you mean like there's at any point you guys somehow everyone i seem to know is somehow able to fall asleep under any nature just prevails though like that's the thing after you you can only take so much until you get to the point where you're just like fuck it i'm sleeping no that's not how it works for me i just get more and more weird and tetchy and i was tired and frustrated and yeah it doesn't anyway i said a few weird sleepless nights because first i had like a

feverish night and then i had like a phlegmy night and then i had like a coffee night and then i had it was just every there's like night after night i'm just i felt super jet lagged for super shit i didn't get to go to gdc no so i'm a bit upset about that and then um i i um i ended up playing a lot of elden ring which i've got a lot of things to say about but obviously the worst type of review i was at a really low point in my life and decided that i would play just this game here's my review oh no i other stuff. I played a load of ball games. I read a couple of books. I watched Patriot, actually, on Amazon Prime,

which I really enjoyed. Have you seen Patriot? No. What, the Mel Gibson film? Man, I'm fucking neck deep in maths. Married at first sight, Australia. Maths-a. Fuck me. I've been asked by a viewer. I've seen ads for that so often. I've been asked by a viewer for you to never watch that

again because it makes them ashamed to be australian too i'm too late i'm too deep these people um it's oh my god it's unbelievable i have no stake in this because i don't care and i've never seen it and go ahead brother watch what you want but i'm just wrong wanted to pass on that message from an aussie yeah no please god it's embarrassing i've heard it before yeah it's like well i mean they do a uk one which is not not much better honestly i think i think the u.s once you get a different one like one from your country you feel ownership of it and you feel ashamed i guess so yeah i i think that's fair like now it's like no please australia we thought we were better than i thought it was better than this and now we're doing the same bloody shit as the yanks oh you know it makes them angry yeah

yeah i've got we'll think about that to go through as well actually a second but we can we can wait on that um so yeah patriot i really recommend it's like it's fairly it's a couple years old but it's like a comedy kind of like it's like if james bond actually had to do some really awful shit and then it kind of it comedically um worked out i don't know it's kind of it's kind of cool i like it i recommend it but um yeah elden ring partly i wonder because it was they took eight years to make this game and it shows right there were clearly guys coming to the office every day. Some of them were going in saying, oh, can I do the sandwich order? But others were just plugging away, building like a new creature every week for eight years.

Do you know what I mean? That's how it feels. Is that how long it took to make the game? Yeah. Eight years? Eight? I thought it was five. Is it eight years?

Five is a long time too, man. Like imagine working on the same thing for five years. Five is a long time. Yeah. Huge, huge effort went into it and it shows right and then at the same time you have like okay here's my hot take elden ring isn't actually very hard okay okay here's my hot take and the reason is is that it's sold a lot of copies right it's sold let's say well it's got 300 000 reviews on steam yeah so that means obviously one in a hundred people leave

a review so that's about 30 million sales in the first you know month that's quite a lot of sales right sure yeah maybe more i don't know but yes that's a lot of people have bought elden ring a lot of people are wrapped with the hype a lot of people who've never played a game like this before have bought elden ring yeah um it's their first dark souls you know a huge amount of people uh this is like a huge huge game that's had huge massive global hype everyone's bought into it right yeah what do you think like the percentage of people who have i don't know let's just say killed the first boss is right 20 yeah like probably probably 20 because a lot of people will just not have started playing yet yes and or given up or just not liked okay the first boss uh we took in fellow man yeah okay oh i thought you meant like i thought you meant the

one you come back is there a tutorial boss or is this just out in the world? There's no tutorial boss. You mean the first legendary boss? Yeah, the first legendary boss. Mark it, fellow man. Let's say 75%. 75%? Yeah.

Well, first of all, on Steam, so you're saying that not only have... Okay, the first boss is quite hard, obviously. Marley it. Yeah, but you get it. You got my boy to help you out. You got Regia. Are you still playing it, Flax? Fuck yeah, dude.

Holy crap. How long is it? I've got 70 hours in it now. Jesus. Okay, let's pick a different boss, because that is actually 75%. All right, name a hard boss in the game. The Godskin Twins.

I think it's Godskin. There's the long lad that can go all stretchy and the lad that can turn into a mushroom. Yeah. Okay. How many, what percentage of people who've bought Eldering have that achievement? That's quite far into the game. 15%. I'm going to say 20%, maybe 25.

I'm going to say 25. Oh my God. It's exact. It's 23%. Holy. It's, it's a huge. I i mean if we were gonna look at stats similar to this for cyberpunk i mean i bought the game like because it was so hyped i haven't played it yet like i have never launched it to play it so it's so bad dude don't bother so that but the

reason i'm saying those numbers lewis is because most people that get a game don't have 70 hours free to stick into it like i understand that i'm in an exceptional position i think these numbers are incredibly high i don't know i think 25 of people who bought out in ring having already killed right god's good duo which is like 60 hours into the game right was it a hard boss or did you find that one easy he's hard he's hard he's hard. He's hard. No, because Lewis was saying it's not a hard game. So like, I'm expecting a story about like a one shot or something. But if it's a hard game, how are 25% of people killing one of the hardest bosses in the game?

It's a very popular game. There isn't really anything like it. Like it's a genre, the Souls-like game. Yeah, but I feel like it's one of those games where you can just practice and you'll eventually just beat everything, right? You will get there. The fact is the bosses don't come up in the traditional way because you can go away and level and just say, all right, that was hard. I'll go do some other things, get some levels, improve my weapons a bit, improve my summons

a bit or whatever it is, your spells, and then come back and I'll beat them. I'll be five levels higher. Maybe that'll make a difference. And also, I think the thing that I've noticed, because I normally do not play

these kind of games, is things that they've made easier are the fact that you don't have to fucking run through half a level to get back to

where you were when you died. There are save points everywhere. Like, really, really frequent. So you'll beat a bit of the game save beat a bit of the game save and you can recover your runes when you die hopefully sometimes you'll miss out but runes are easy to come by the main thing is loot finding the loot getting the loot killing the bosses for the good loot because that's how you really push your your character the levels you can get you just go farm that metal ball that falls off a cliff if you want or go find an area where there's a bunch of easy to kill enemies and kill them over

and over again if you want so the runes thing is it's great getting like 200 000 runes from killing a boss or whatever fantastic but the main thing is the loot, getting those items, unlocking that shit, getting the bell bearings and buying just, oh, yeah, my ultra-leveled plus 20 mace. That's how you win the game. And I think in terms of difficulty, it is hard, but it's fair. The game is fair. The bosses present their attack to you in a way where they're like, this is how you beat me.

I'm going to point like this and then two seconds later. People have completed Dying Light 2, right? Stay human. That human that's relatively which is that's well well done because i gave up that game was so badly written i actually fucking gave up and it's it's about 20 of people who've played elden ring currently who bought who bought elden ring have completed it right and that is an astonishingly high number i think 20 is for a game that is supposed to be very hard inverted commas it is hard um but it's not though and the other reason is like glitches and stuff too right like people there are some bosses you can go yeah first of all i'm sure it was very very hard for those trailblazing few who bought it on release but within three days there was an extensive clickbait media presence for this game of guides exploits hacks like not

hacks necessarily but i mean they call them hacks but they mean like oh this overpowered weapon yeah because the game isn't balanced at all you know but people go for that kind of stuff too though like the point is what i'm saying is that if you aren't good at games it doesn't matter right because you can tab out and it'll tell you how to be good, right? With one sentence. So there are some fights where you have to dodge really, really precisely. Time your attacks well, figure out how to beat the boss. As long as you're not over-leveled for them.

There are some bosses that are really, really hard. And there are some that are really, really easy. Yeah, there are. On my first playthrough i got to a boss died 20 times got the next one one shot him the next one died 20 times got the next one one shot him yeah and it was like very very you you hit the boss one time and he died well basically you know well i didn't die killing him jermaine i killed him and didn't die killing him kind of thing and i didn't expect to kill him first time do you mean yeah it

was i beat some lad who had a girlfriend in an egg i can't remember his name there's lots of blood i killed him on my second try and people were like wow i think you're over leveled for this area was was what they they fumbled for okay because i'm like a level 115 or 117 or something like sure like i've been playing the game a lot and these are the bosses I should be beating. I'm approaching the end of the game. I should be a badass.

Like that's the point. Well, there is a late game sort of difficulty spike though, a little bit. I mean, we can talk about entering a lot, but I kind of felt like

it was really interesting just to see how the support structure sprung up instantly, you know, with this interactive map like guides like the internet just became caught on fire

it's a very popular game this happens for every game now though not every game it's just the modern day Nintendo power right? this desire has always been there to consume games this way so are you saying that the elden ring has been made too easy by the community of people that like it making

stuff about it is that what you're saying well i think it depends on what you mean by easy if you mean if if a hard game is defined by when i think this is the conventional definition of you having to learn dexterity and based based reactions to a standard you know you have to i think the elder ring is a lot of learning okay it's like every area you go into is it some there's you have to remember there's a guy behind that pillar there's a skeleton behind that thing with an arrow you have to dodge across this bit run across this bit do the whole thing and then you're done right there's this there's this whole like you're constantly learning moves and actions and where locations are and where people are and and that makes it harder than you just pressing a and mashing or or conventional games that that

that make it easy for you right i think but the point is that here's my my point. So with Minecraft, when it came out, there was no tutorial. There was no guide. You had to tab out. You had to learn yourself, blah, blah, blah. This became one of the most successful games of all time and a very popular kids' game as well, despite it not giving you any help, no hand-holding. Recently, one of the things I've experienced

is a lot of game developers and a lot of games people I've talked to have gone back and put in these extensive tutorials they've gone back and made the new player experience yeah there's a lot of talk about this new player experience the idea that that you know the gamers are fucking stupid right and and and dumb and they want to understand how to play a game and so you have to teach them and you have to be but all you do sometimes in these tutorials is is turn people off more right elden ring does not hold your hand it doesn't give you any guidance it just throws you in at the deep end and you have to figure out yourself and and you do end up figuring out a lot of it yourself but whenever you get stuck there is that safety

net right where you can tab out and find it and it works for elden ring because it's so massive right yeah elden ring's community has so massive right yeah elden rings community has created this entire guide to the game where anything you're looking for you can find it at at a glance right instantly right whereas a less popular game let's not say dying light 2 but maybe doesn't have that that detail that rabid i mean no but elden ring is i could type in and this is within two weeks of of it being out three weeks of being out right it's not been out a long time it's not like you know it's like we were saying about office work fans and communities build these resources with passion yeah so fucking quickly and efficiently right and sometimes there's

going to be mistakes now it's not gonna be perfect but mostly i can i could type in any dungeon now and there'd be a walkthrough i could type in any item now they would tell me where to have it i mean i think they've cataloged almost everything in the game even down to the stuff like i read this morning that the fear the deathbed guardian she had some pair of panties that was like cut from the game because they were too sexy or whatever you can fucking cheat engine those into your playthrough now um like like like people have got this level of detail in this game and it works for elden ring what i'm saying is like a lot of i've seen a lot of game developers talk about Elden Ring as an example of bad game design. And everyone who says anything about Elden Ring being bad in any way

is shouted down by the masses. And almost like they should be. In a sense, if you're complaining about Elden Ring, yet you've completed it four times and put 200 hours in, sure, you could give some feedback, but your feedback isn't necessarily right because obviously something has worked with the game that made you do it that much if you start saying oh it would be better if it was like this way well would you have played it as much would

you like it as much how do you know what are the criticisms about it it's the secret sauce i think the big criticisms of the elden ring are obviously the the the fact that you need uh nine different mcguffins from across the world that are only available in different spaces at least early on to upgrade your weapons and spirit ashes and so as a result you constantly will be given all these rewards like oh a spirit ash of a new a pony a dog a marionnere a soldier i think I'm never going to use that because I don't have 19 separate upgrade materials. So you can only get this stuff by fully exploring the whole world. Let's say that I want to, like, your build that you're going for is very much about a certain kind of sort of stat build if you like right so sometimes i'll get a reward from a chest or from a boss that my character can't use right no 99

of items in the game sips you will not use and the reason that that sucks is because that there are upgrade materials that are in the game and you only naturally come across enough to upgrade one or two weapons yeah and one or two spirit ashes in the game and you only naturally come across enough to upgrade one or two weapons and one or two spirit ashes in the course of the playthrough. You're given 50 weapons and 50 spirit ashes and there's no reason, there's absolutely no reason

why you couldn't just have all of your spirit ashes upgrade in line, okay, together. And then you could just say, oh, on this fight, I'm going to try using the skellies.

On this fight, I'm going to try using the big slime. On this fight, I'm going to try and use the skellies on this fight i'm going to try using the big slime on this fight i'm going to try and use this thing but no the game kind of forces you to pick one because there aren't really enough materials for you to get more than that until the very late game when you obviously can buy any of those materials for money but again that involves quite a lot of money and quite a lot of farming and and and that And it's too late in the game at that point for it to matter. I guess the point is that I got bored of Elden Ring multiple times because I was using the same weapon for fucking 10 hours or 15 hours.

And I was like, I'm fucking bored with this fucking weapon. Like, I've got 10 more in my bank that are taunting me and saying, oh, use this cool axe, use this cool hammer, use this cool thing with a cool ability. And I'm saying to myself, no, because I don't have the fucking somber smithing stones or whatever the shit of MacGuffin I need to upgrade this fucking axe. And so

I'm not going to use it. And that made me not want to play the game a lot of times. I think, I think, I take that point and I think you're probably right that there's, I mean, I don't understand why, like when I'm streaming it I'll get some weapon I can't use and I go to sell it and everyone's mean, I don't understand why, like when I'm streaming it, I'll get some weapon I can't use and I go to sell it and everyone's like, no, no, no, don't sell it.

I'm like, why? I'm never going to use it. I'm going to finish the game without using it. Right, but I don't care if it's in my inventory. AFK Gargoyle gives you 30,000 runes. Right, but why have it? Like, I don't see it. So some people like to collect all the things

and you can try them out and they all look very cool i i think honestly that the reason that it gives you all this stuff and makes you choose is because sometimes you'll be like oh man if i did an arcane build with decks this weapon would be perfect with this ash of war so on my next playthrough i'm going to do this. And it's about showing people these are all the different weapons out there. And just imagine if your build was like this, this would be really pogged. So you could try that

next time. So it's encouraging people to play the game again. I know people have beaten it multiple times as well. I don't know how. I don't know how. I've done it twice. Yeah, yeah. My mate Bob already has 100% achievements on the game. There's not many achievements on it, but all the achievements are done.

He's done them all. I think it's a game where you want to get all the achievements. Yeah. The genre is huge, right? It's very popular. There's a lot of... It's a really, really cool game, I've got to say. ...fandom around the Dark Souls games and stuff.

I just had those weird thoughts about it. It has that kind of community to it like a very dedicated community right that want to find out all the things speed running i think it's really really immersive yeah i mean i i i my first playthrough i did as like a pure sort of shield sword guy and then they nerfed um they actually nerfed barricade shield which i was using um which is the one where you shield up and when you take shield damage you don't take any stamina damage right so you can kind of just tank like these huge huge hits yeah yeah sort of counter

in which is really really fun oh yeah sorry poor lewis we're dragging out of you he's he's and then um spluttering the second one i did was was sorcery and either either i was used to the game or sorcery was just incredibly easy because i pounded my way through that game the second time with sorcery um and i'd really but the one the thing i learned sort of the second time was i really want to try the incantations build because there's so many cool sounding incantations yeah at least with those you can switch between them right and you can use all the incantations um whereas i guess it feels like it's weird because if you're playing sorcery you can use all the spells if you're playing um

it says you use all the if you're playing melee you could use one weapon and one shield uh that's it yeah and it's like for the whole game and it's like oh frustrating part of me wants to try it and but part of me like doesn't feel like i'll enjoy it you know like it's it's just like i think you would enjoy it it's it's brilliant yeah it's actually really really good i keep hearing such good things about it but it's just like it's just not my kind of game you know like dude honestly i thought the same thing like i honestly i tried the other souls games and i just couldn't get anywhere i found them so punishingly hard and just depressing and brutal and i was like this is just not for me but honestly the the fact that there's so many save points and the the open

world is really very beautiful um some parts of it are terrifying and when you fight a boss it's great the storyline makes no sense to me. I have no fucking idea what's going on. Oh my God. I need help from chat a lot of the time because it's like very, very vague about what you're meant to do next. And sometimes it's things like

you have to rest in a specific grace to get a particular interaction with a particular character. And I would never have found that ever in a million years. That's the biggest problem with the game. It's an open world game where you will just accidentally walk past the guy that you're supposed to talk to. And then you fucked his quest line.

He'll turn up dead at the next place or whatever. And you'll loot his body. You'll be like, that's a weird bit of loot. I don't know what that was. And it turns out that guy had a whole quest for you and a whole load of stuff and i guess you're gonna do that next playthrough kind of thing yeah yeah but i mean i know a lot of the comments in chat i don't know if they've watched someone else do it or they they did it the hard way because i'm thinking i've i've been pretty pretty quick at doing this in that i've

gone i haven't done every single thing possible there's a lot of areas i still haven't explored but i'm nearly at the end of the game and i've had a lot of help from chat in like go here do this you need to talk to this guy go to this tower if i didn't have that i'd probably have twice as long in this game and all that would just be running around thinking what the fuck am i meant to be doing yeah no no no again you just tab out and follow the guides right it's there's like 10 npcs they each have quests if you keep track of them you can do them all in one playthrough right they you know and it actually is a much more fulfilling experience when you do that because you realize you hear a lot of plot you hear a lot of characters first time i played it i barely talked

to any npcs i didn't even know what i was doing there's this woman who asked for like a shiburi grape yeah and i'm like okay sure have a grape and she's like thanks and i thought that was it turns out the grape i'd never read it because i never really go into my inventory or anything a shiburi grape is a fucking moldy eyeball right and she eats these fucking she what she doesn't realize until much later in the game, once you've given her like five eyeballs, that she's eating fucking eyeballs. Oh. And this leads to an alternate ending, which I didn't even know was in the game.

I gave her a grape. I gave her a grape. Yeah, that's like a rotting eyeball. Oh my God. And she uses those because she's blind. You're going to get the eyeball ending now, Lucky. Oh, man. I don't know if I want the eyeball.

Now you've fucked it. Again, that process of, oh, I looted a grape. I don't know what that is. Oh, looted a grape i don't know what that is oh she wants a grape i'll give it to her that was to me that was just something very throw away right but actually that is like a whole thing and the problem with it is is that you have to actually go into your inventory find the grape look at it press r read what it's about and be like oh rotting fucking eyeball that's disgusting yeah you want to eat this okay sure and then you know that it makes your decisions a lot more but i wouldn't put it past half the characters in the game that that's exactly what they want like they're all

fucking crazy i know every the whole world is is it's a it's a really bonkers wild absolutely it's kind of refreshing in a sense because it is so completely wild. It is. Just everything about it is, yeah, I'm a big fan. Big, big fan. Plus, you can kill everyone. You can even kill that turtle pope. You can just kill anyone you like. You saw the pope?

Turtle pope? He's a turtle pope. Turtle pope. You know what? My friend SirActionSlacks has been playing it. He's the pope. He's also a turtle. He's been playing it in a very unique way in that he's like playing as a completely naked caveman with a club right

and that's his play style like he's just running around as a caveman struggling against things he beat this one boss who he's not really a boss you don't have to fight him he's just standing there outside this building and he he spent over an hour running up behind him on his horse, hitting him once, hiding, waiting for him to de-aggro, and then doing it again. Just did that over and over and over again for over an hour and streamed it. And I was like, that's definitely one way to play the game.

But the thing is that because there's so many ways to play it, I think you can go for that cheese build if you want or you can make it incredibly hard for yourself you don't have to read all the hints and tips online like the game basically lets you make of it what you want kind of i've i've found myself sometimes trying to do something the hard way the honest way and then eventually being like this is too hard or i get to like one percent like i get by some bullshit like a combo that can't dodge or some bullshit and i'm like you know what fuck you i'm just gonna cheese this and i stand in a doorway right or i or i get myself on the edge of a building and i just fucking kill the boss where he can't hit me yeah jeremy and i'm

like fuck your game right because it is hard and if there's anything you can do to win, you can do it. Like, it's like there's no honor in the fucking algorithm. No, but like, I'm up for doing that stuff if I figure it out myself. You know, like, if I'm having a tough time and I stand in a doorway and it works, I get that sense of satisfaction. Like, I've done it. Right, you beat them. They're stupid. It would be, for me, like, to go off and look that up and then do it and then feel good about it.

I would not actually feel great about it sort of thing. You know, I wouldn't have the same satisfaction if I just, you know, kind of randomly figured it out myself and then and then done it. You know, like it just feels better to do it that way. In my opinion, I know it's like it does. You're totally, totally right. And I think you have to trick yourself into believing that you've had a good time. I like the – one thing that I really like in gaming, like on this subject, is I like discovering stuff. You know, like people who just rush through a game and min-max the hell out of it and look up all these efficiency guides and stuff i get it like i get

that that's their version of you know finding something satisfying or whatever but for me it's like i like to i just like to have time with the game and like i like to try to figure it out you know like i like to right well that's fucking if you want to go in blind to elden ring holy shit that would be hilarious well i probably would though that's the thing i said i mean i'm not i haven't like watched any streams with no chat like i'm just not interested in the game so it's not um it's not something that like i've you know like looked into like if i'm playing something i'm interested in it i'll have like you know videos or whatever on in the background sort of thing that's fine but like with something like this i mean i've never really looked into it you know i just sort of wrote it off as a dark souls game that like i was never gonna play so you should give

it a go i think it's really fun if it's i think don't don't let twitch chat help you and you'll be so fucking lost it's really shit but yeah you'll be well again let's finish off my talk we're not finished off but let's finish off my dead talk my hot take is that i i guess in a sense it's it's hard but it's like building a brick wall do you mean like you like you you do it brick by brick and it's done it's not hard it's doable you learn it it's learnable it's it's not it's not hard in the way that i'm never gonna be good at chess i'm never gonna be able to i'm never really gonna get a feeling of that i'm good at chess do you mean i think chess is hard but i think elden ring is like a wow boss it's like a series of wow bosses do you know what elden ring is to me it's a series of really hard wow boss fights that you have to learn the choreography yes and do the special dance right combined with a load of those horrible mario maker levels where it's torture and literally the

whole thing is like 10 platforms but behind every so it's like the first thing is like oh okay i run across this room and there's a hole there you run across the room and in the hole is a skeleton he kills you so okay you run across the room you and in the hole is a skeleton, and he kills you. So, okay, you run across the room, you kill the skeleton, and you get in the hole. And you run across, and then as soon as you kill the skeleton, the hole falls through, and you die.

So you're like, okay. You run across the room, kill the skeleton, dodge the hole, do the thing. And there was this one place, I think I remember it, I think it was called, like,

Wyndham Catacombs or something. Is this the one with the chariots that push you into the fire? No, it wasn't. There was some of the ones with chariots and shit. That was so grim. But there was this one The chariots that push you into the fire. No, it wasn't. There was some of the ones with chariots and shit. That was so grim.

But there was this one where literally every single part of that dungeon was designed to troll you. It was like a perfect troll dungeon. It had like 10 components, and every single one caught me and killed me. And I learned them one by one by one by one. And then eventually I could do the whole whole lot in all 10 in one go and that was that to me was what elden ring is the seldom ring is is that it's it's incredibly hard boss fights um but they're they put all of the learnable

and these these kind of odd zelda style dungeons out there like breath of the wild style shrines out there in the wild which obviously never give you anything that you're ever going to use because unless you specifically look for the one which you're like oh okay i want this obviously i need this talisman which makes me 20 physical damage resistance right important that one is at like this specific one so i'm going to go and do that one jimmy otherwise you know you probably would have never found the fucking thing right but yes um elden ring i recommend check it out if you haven't oh we're done okay good sorry i had to get that off my chest today's episode is sponsored by honey the easy way to save money when shopping on your computer or your iphone uh i actually did

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because I think we've just had so many hot topics to discuss but can i give you guys an update on this year's apprentice which is uh coming to a close it's the last episode is looming it's they're all done the interviews and everything honestly my my hot take on this year's apprentice is that it's been the worst series so far in terms of candidates they've been just dreadful like really really fucking bad like um and now there's there's two left going into the final and it's just a the the guess the best of a bad bunch but i wouldn't even say that they are like they're just they're just both really bad so yeah so it'll be it'll be the end uh of another series of my favorite show oh until i'm sorry i hate it when that happens you're watching such a lot of shit i do watch a lot of shit yeah but i

mean i've said this like uh before to like to chat and stuff it's it's the it's the viewing experience it's not the show itself right it's having fun watching it with people you like watching these crappy shows with you know like my in-laws are in on it and stuff as well so like you know when we get together on the weekend or whatever we can like make fun of contestants on the apprentice or people on married at first sight or whatever and it's it's it's great it's it's really fun but it's it is it is it is bad tv like it's like's predatory TV as well, the way that it's produced and stuff. It's unbelievable, but it's like-

I feel like they don't give them a chance not to be idiots. No. Like, you think they do, but if they do something non-idiotic, that's on the floor. That's on the cut room floor, they're not putting that in. No, everything is geared up to make them look as stupid as possible. But they are also idiots. They are also idiots, yeah. I saw a clip of something to do with some soap.

It just comes so naturally to them. One of the contestants had spent so much money on this particular essence that goes in their soap that they'd blown through their entire budget on just this one perfume-y thing. And I'm like, that's so stupid. Like, how could you do that and claim that you know anything about anything? Well, the worst thing is that a lot of these people, you know, they're mostly like self-proclaimed entrepreneurs or whatever, but some of them actually just have normal jobs.

And like there's one task this year where it was like, it was kind of like a hospitality task. Right. It was like a corporate hospitality. Like it was a day out at I think it was like Silverstone or something. And, you know, they had to they had to lay on a lunch and they had to do like, you know, a tour of the of the place or whatever. And one of the girls was like, you know, this is my my normal job. Like I have a really good job and this is what I do day in day out like make like make me the project manager and uh we got this in the bag sort of thing and you're like okay cool like you know maybe we'll actually see

somebody who can do this job because this is what she does day in day out man she was terrible like she was so fucking bad like i've never done that job i could probably do it better and like it just like just these like really stupid mistakes and you just think how do you do this all the time right she must just be lying or something i don't know but like well do you know what it's like i said about nerves or something i don't know man people not really doing much at work yeah yeah i think like a lot of the time if you're part of a team and you're the manager you're used to delegating to people actually do the work and know what they're doing yeah and you're just used to saying i'll organize this by pointing at people saying you do your job and you also do yours you three over there your jobs do them it's like i know how to do this no you don't

you know how to tell other people that know how to do it what to do and when yeah but you actually fucking use this on your own yeah she's playing elden ring without looking anything up that's the that's her job that's her job so um so that's coming to a close and i also want to just share one one quick story from married at first sight australia which i found very funny this guy he's like uh like 38 years old uh he had a previously a previously broken marriage and is looking for love in all the wrong places so he got matched up with this woman who um you get this from time to time on the show this woman and it happens to men as well but this woman is like nearly 40 years old and she's never had a proper boyfriend she's never been in a proper relationship uh she lives with her twin

sister who's also single and they just like whatever they work and they don't speak to anybody they don't do anything i don't know how do they how do they get they don't go into it but basically she's just hopeless like when it comes to having a partner relationship she's she's never really had one and she doesn't really know what to do and stuff so fair enough so they match her with this guy who's just coming out of a failed relationship he was married for years they fostered children together all this stuff you know so he's like he knows what he's doing kind of thing he's like a veteran yeah family man so they get married like the the first you know they they come into the show like they could they were late late joiners to the show

they were like another wave of like, you know, couples or whatever. Reinforcements. Yeah, yeah. Well, there's been like nine fucking seasons. Well, yeah, but people leave all the time and stuff. You know, they get mad. So anyway, they're getting married and this guy is like, you could see it in his face. He's just like, can't believe his luck.

Like he's landed this girl who's now his wife sort of thing. Is she really good looking? I mean, like she's, she's okay. Like she's not like, she's not like drop dead gorgeous or anything, but she's like, whatever, you know, like she seems to really like her. Wait, what season is this? Season nine. Yeah.

Season nine. So what was the name of the couple? Oh man, I can't remember. Tamara and Brent? I just call them old, old person one and old person two, even though they're younger than me, just older than everybody else. I don't know what their names are anyway so they get married and it's like kind of awkward because again she doesn't have any experience he's like he's got more experience and stuff but also he's like a bit of a he fancies himself as like a bit of a ladies man you know like

right feels like he's pretty good at picking up women like you know in social situations blah blah blah whatever so they get married it's all very like nice it's like oh you look nice oh yeah you do too nice to meet you whatever they do their vows and stuff it's all part of the show yeah and then after that they do like a photo shoot right like like you would like in a normal wedding right but it's you know they don't know each other whatever So they're doing the photo shoot and this guy is like, he, you know, he's, he, he admits it, like when they're doing the talking head parts of it. And he's like, you know, I'm really just like a, like I'm, I'm a really touchy sort of feely guy. You know, I like to, to touch a lot and stuff like that. And she's just like, I don't like to be touched. Like I'm not a touchy person,

whatever. So whatever they clash, like almost almost straight away so they're doing the photo shoot and he's got like his hand on her hips and stuff and at one point he's like uh they're they're like okay do you guys want to like face each other maybe like kiss or something you know we'll take a picture and she's like no i don't really want to kiss or whatever and he's like holding her by the hips close and he's like come a bit closer my dear like whispers it and you're just like oh fuck this is this is awful like this is so fucking creepy like who says that sort of thing and you could see in her face she's like what the fuck so she like gets a bit closer and they're taking pictures and stuff and he's like oh by the way sorry about my breath uh i had some chicken

twisties before i i came. What is this show? It sounds cool. What an Australian thing to say. That is the fucking line. I had a couple of twisties on the way. That's the fucking line. It doesn't matter. Like, you've just met this person.

It doesn't matter how nervous you are. I'm sorry about my breath. You don't say that you had some chicken twisties before you turned up to a wedding with somebody you never met before. I don't think the chicken twisties makes your breath that bad. Does it?

I mean, it's not like he had a fucking tuna pate sandwich closer my dear it's like it's like that fucking meme you know the one like the the pungent this the smelling one you ever see that really long ass one yeah yeah he's it's like him he's he's that he's that meme the he sounds like that's the kind of thing a spider would say come closer yes i know it's so fucking weird man but like that's the kind of thing a spider would say. Come closer, maybe. It's like a spider. No, it's so fucking weird, man. But like, that's just one example of like a million examples every day of the stuff that happens on this show. Like it is really hard to watch, but it's hilarious at the same time. This is interesting.

This whole episode feels like we planned it, but we didn't, right? There is no fucking guide to how to pull. No. There isn't. Like, it's really difficult. You either get lucky or you're just fucking hopeless at it. And you'll never really know why. No.

People will just go, oh, gross, get away from me. And you think, what am I doing wrong? No one's going to tell you. And even if they did, you would think, well, that doesn't sound right. Like, nobody knows. You either find someone and they like you somehow by some magic yeah they like you and you like them or you end up 40 living with your sister and you never find anybody that's it i do i feel like there's a solution anyone that tells you

there's a plan or a simple all you got to do is these steps is lying okay but there's nobody knows if you if you got with somebody okay on this show imagine you're on married're on Married at First Sight for whatever reason, okay? In an alternate universe or whatever. If something goes wrong with me and Mrs. F. You rock up onto this show. You got your tux on and everything. You're waiting at the altar. This woman comes in.

You turn around. She looks great. And you're like, okay, cool. Hi. Yeah, my name is Ted. Nice to meet you. We're going to get married and stuff and like immediately she's a bit like uh like like you know not receptive to you or you you could you you'd pick up on like a little

bit of coldness maybe i'm very used to this response or something right but like if you picked up on that you would act accordingly right like like for me storm out i would either just leave yeah i would just leave i just be like okay well cool this isn't gonna work like peace i'm out or you would just back off completely right and just say yeah whatever just be civil you know you just i'll just be civil to this person maybe we'll we'll have a fun time just as friends in this like uh in this experience or whatever and then after the first week or whatever peace out we'll go home but you know maybe we can turn around and say you know like we've whatever fuck we got through the

first week together and it was kind of fun and like and then let's go i don't know like how people just don't approach a situation like that like i know it's on tv and like a lot probably a lot of it's scripted or whatever but like these some of these people are just so um i don't know like clueless clueless like really thin skinned like uh well that's who they look for when they make i guess so yeah but that does also mean that these people exist of course i mean i've met i've met lots of people like this but i just it always surprises me that they do exist i don't know how you can't just somehow, like, I'm not blaming people, like, you know, for having, like, you know,

like problems socially or whatever, but like some of it, honestly, is not that difficult. But like, like you can really make it much more difficult for yourself, I feel like, you know? And if you're ever looking for examples of this,

watch Married at First Sight Australia. There's a whole roster of people who just are completely socially incompatible. Like it's several football teams worth of people. Yeah, it astounds me that they just operate in real life somehow. Like I don't know. Yeah, they're out there, dude. They're walking around. It's crazy.

I don't know. I don't get it. I just don't get it. But there you go. I think it know. I don't get it. I just don't get it. But there you go. I think it's like, that's why I keep watching. I just can't, I can't fathom what's gonna happen next. And I'm always pleasantly surprised by just the, really the sheer depth of the stupidity.

Yeah, it's crazy. I think it's pure though. It's pure, yeah. It's pure people, I suppose. But it's a whole, like you mentioned, a whole cavalcade of different factors going on. They know they're on telly. They're playing up for the camera.

They get picked for being stupid. But also, it all feeds into itself. I think that you could pick any chump off the street and they behave bizarrely, as we've seen on all reality tv shows there is no shortage of people riddle me this for these shows okay there's a guy there's a guy on the current season his name is mitch and he's with this uh this woman called um ella okay and they're like mitch looks like he should be like in uh in in a boy band like boy zone or

something right he's even got like the damon albarn 90s haircut and everything like that dude just spends all of his time on on the beach you know like either working out tanning whatever like every minute like of his life must just be spent on the beach and he looks like he looks all right sort of thing whatever so his big big gripe recently has been the show itself okay so like they'll get a task and like the task is like have a makeout session for five minutes because it'll help you guys like connect more or whatever and he's like i'm not doing that in front of all these people in front of all these cameras like why did you television why did you sign up for the fucking show like you knew this

was gonna happen like and clearly he's watched previous seasons because like he knows when the tasks come in what they are like ahead of time it's like oh this must be the uh you know the the bonding task or whatever it's like you fucking signed up for this and now you're complaining about the format of the show while you're on the show like it's that is bizarre it doesn't make any sense just fucking just fucking snogger mate just grab her ass man he comes across as like that guy who's figured out the conspiracy though you know like he's above it you know he's like he's wise yeah yeah like he's like he's figured out he's on the truman show and uh and and something's not right sort of thing and you're

just like yeah i love those people who think they're just brilliant and the genius yeah and they're actually yeah it's just it's like yeah okay man i think i'm too deep i'm too invested i'm like actually fully complaining about these people now but man if it's not i was very impressed by your um guessing of stats, P-Flex, by the way. And I thought, since we're talking about the average person, I thought we could, I found this sort of poll this week, which was like what Americans thought about America, basically. Right, right. And what percentage of them, okay, so for example,

what percentage of Americans have a household income over $500,000? I'm going to say... I'm going to say like 30%. I'm going to say 5%. Okay, it's less than 1%. Oh, right. Gosh. Okay, because...

And this is a big problem, isn't it? Oh, like income, not house value, like actual... Household income. I just thought that the upper middle class was really big in America, or maybe it used to be. I don't know, but I guess not anymore. I guess over 500,000 is not upper middle class. It's a lot. That's a lot of money.

What about having a household income over 100,000? Oh, I'd say like 30% over 100,000. I'm going to say 10%. Yeah, well, actually well actually no it's 30 it's 38 percent of american households have an income i think that's more of the middle class i was thinking two people working as well right yeah yeah however what percentage of americans own a car oh my god i'd say 90 yeah i'd say tons like super high percentage it is 90 you guys are nailing this very very good however when the americans were polled they only 66 they only thought 66 of americans owned a car i think it's

it's it's it's easy enough to own a car because um you can get uh you can get like you can lease them and stuff as well right you don't have to I think a lot of people still see a car as like, you bought a car? That's like 30 grand, but nobody's paying 30 grand for a car. Somebody does. I don't know who. Maybe a few people will buy a car straight up, but for your average person, you're leasing a car, right? Yeah, yeah.

I just get mine secondhand. Never pay for a brand new car. Yeah, me neither. I've never bought a new car. But I think that counts as own a car actually in terms of this. Yeah, yeah. A secondhand car for sure counts as owning a car. Yeah, me neither. I've never bought a new car. But I think that counts as owning a car, actually, in terms of this. Yeah, yeah. A second-hand car for sure counts as owning a car. What about having a passport? What percentage of Americans have a passport?

Less than 90. I'd say it's like 50% or something. I was going to say 60%, but it could be less. It could be like 40%. I feel like Americans in general, there's a large part of America that just never leaves America. 37%. Yeah, I said 40%, I think 37%. Most Americans don't even need a passport. Why would they?

You can go anywhere. I think Americans and Canadians likewise can travel across the border sometimes without them. I think you can go to Canada without one. Yeah, I think so. I always did. And I'm pretty sure you can go to Mexico and then come back and you don't need to have a passport. You just have to say, yes, I'm an American and they say, okay.

I know in France and parts of the EU, you don't necessarily need a passport either, because you can get an identity card, which is like a passport light. If you're flying, you'll need one. Yeah, flying, you do need one for sure. If you're flying in America, I think you don't need a passport for just regular travel. I mean, even like in the EU, lots of the borders are open for travel in between. Like you don't even need to really get checked. Right, yeah, yeah.

But you can drive from France to Germany without showing anything. Yeah, easy, yeah. It's easy. What percentage of Americans have read a book in the past year? Oh, like 20%? I was going to say 15%, 15 but yes it's actually 77 percent oh wow well i guess you got a defined book does the tv guide count does the articles in playboy magazine count i guess so okay i don't know um what about are married centuries ofuries of Americans are married. Oh, it's got to be lower now, right?

Because I think- I'm going to say 33%. I'm going to say 32%. It's actually 50%. Wow. I'm surprised, actually. I feel like in the West, generally, a lot of things have just become so throwaway, right? Marriage seems like one of them.

Well, that is- That is pretty fucking low historically. It is, yeah. Historically, for sure. That is a lot. Man, that's nuts. Also, what percentage are Catholic? Oh, wow. Catholic.

I'm going to say 20%. Maybe 25% got a lot of Hispanics and a lot of Italians. 22%. 22%. Oh, 22. You just nailed it so well, V-Flex. You said 20 to 25 and it was 22%. Okay.

Like, why don't you guys get married or something? Make it 51%. You seem so impressed with each other's guessing skills. I mean, come on. All right, Sips. Which percentage of American adults are first-generation immigrants? Oh, God, like tons of them. I'd say a really high percentage, right?

Like the whole country is just like... Do I get a guess as well? It was a colony for multiple... People living in America who were born in America is what I mean. Like right now. Oh, right now. Oh, right. Okay.

First generation. Not like their father. Second generation means you're the kids of immigrants. Oh, probably lower then. I think a lot of people... I think there's still probably a lot of immigration to America, but I think that a lot of people will be born to... Like, in the country, to their parents who are also American, right? That's what you mean?

Yes. So, like, I don't know, like, 70% or something? I'm going to say 15%. It's 15%. What? First generation immigrants, like, people who have immigrated, immigrants at the moment, like Mexicans coming in, and Polish

people, and Chinese, they're not 70% immigrants now. Oh, I got the wrong way around. Sorry, yeah. You meant the other way around. Yeah, I meant the other way around. Sorry, okay. I meant the other way around. Yeah, I meant the other way around. Sorry. I should have asked not Americans. I don't feel like that was worded very well, but it's fine. I think it was worded fine.

I think it was worded fine. What percentage of Americans are military vets? Oh, that'll be higher, right? It's like, it'll be higher than we think, right? It's not going to be like 1% or something. I'd say it's like 25% I'm going to say 5% it is 5% or 6%

you are amazing at this why are you so good at this I don't know how you know this so well but Sips' guesses

are very much in line with regular people's choices so actually like according to this general perception sort of stuff. The general perception is that 40, so 40%...

40%! They think over 150 million people have served in the military. Are you out of your fucking minds, America? I know, it's bizarre. What percentage of Americans are black? I think it's around 20%, but I could be wrong. Yeah, I think it's 20%. It could be wrong.

Well, generally, Americans think it's close to 40%, but actually it's only 12%. Oh, okay. Yeah. Roughly, and there's actually more Hispanic people living in America now. 17% are Hispanic. And 6% Asian, 1% Native American, 2% Jewish, 1% Muslim. Wow.

Okay. Some interesting stats. Sounds like they're taking over to me. Very low, especially the Native American one. Because, you know, if you said what percentage of people are Native American, american you think i would have thought less than one yeah it is it is it's not a huge population it is less than one but but yeah there you go um some interesting stats you're you're an interesting one pflax we'll finish off with one okay percentage of people in America own a gun? I'm going to say like 20%. I'm going to say 50%.

Oh, my God. Well, Sips was closer. It's 32%, which is still a huge number. That's a huge number, yeah. There's more guns than people, so I figured a lot of people would own one. Well, apparently it's tougher to own and be licensed for an actual gun legally. But it's just very easy to buy ammunition and stuff. That kind of stuff you can just get kind of anywhere, right?

Like at Walmart or whatever. But the gun itself and the permit for the gun and everything it is actually like they they do actually have like a lot of um uh you know legislation around gun ownership and stuff like that i know like the popular um perception is that that's not the case and it's just like everybody's running around with a gun and stuff but like i don't think it's that easy and i think a lot of the guns that are uh that are used in in crime and stuff like that are obviously illegally obtained, right? Like they're stolen from houses and stuff. If you criminalize guns, only criminals will have guns.

Well, I mean, they are already like fairly criminalized, though. Like if you think about it, like if you don't have a permit for a gun, which, you know, a lot of people, you know, like even in movies and TV shows, you know, like do't have a permit for a gun, which a lot of people... Even in movies and TV shows, like, do you have a permit for that gun? It's a fairly popular or common thing, right? And then people are like, yeah, I went to jail because I didn't have a permit for the gun. I don't think you need a permit to own a gun. Yeah, you do. I'm pretty sure you do.

You just need to apply for background checks and then you can buy the gun. Yeah, you do. I'm pretty sure you do. You need to apply for like background checks and then you can buy the gun. You need a permit for things like concealed carry. If you're going to concealed carry a gun, it is very state by state. But I mean, in some states, I don't think it's really even possible to own a gun. Like, for example, in Canada, you have to,

like, you know, hunting is very big. It's a very big country. And there's a lot of gun ownership in Canada. But, like, having a permit to own a gun in the first place takes a while. And then when you do own a gun, there's certain things that you have to do with it as well. Like, you have to have a gun cabinet that's, like, secure. You have to, like, lock up your guns. You've got to, like, chain them up.

I think it's probably the same if you want to own a hunting rifle in the uk well and it's the same in america too they have all that stuff as well but there's just i think it's i think the availability of guns and and i think the fact that i think one of the big problems and don't quote me on this because i don't actually know a lot about it like these just like bits and pieces that i've picked up for this entire podcast absolutely relax that's like the tag like bits and pieces that i've picked up for this entire podcast absolutely that's like the tagline but i think that the big difference is because we don't actually know anything about but i think that the big difference is in canada you can buy guns but none of them are like military grade right like you can get hunting rifles and stuff like that

but you can't get like a you can't go to to a place and buy like a machine gun 16 right yeah so you can you can have guns in new york i just don't know anyone in new york that owns a gun you probably do no i don't i really don't if one in three people own a gun all these people you know probably own a gun you just don't talk about it i don't know many people that own guns i know a few but i mean i think a lot of it the more rural you get in America, the number of guns and ownership goes up. I mean, if you do anything around livestock or whatever, you have to have some guns.

Like you have to have a shotgun. Also, people go hunting a lot in America. Yeah, yeah. That is a huge thing. It's a huge thing in Canada as well. That's what those guys in Florida said to me. Y'all ain't got no guns in England, huh? I was like, no.

He goes, how do you go hunt? Well, I mean don't do hunt in england as well like with a with a horse we don't we use a horse dear boy not a gun and dogs we use dogs he was like you all ain't got no guns at all i was like no he goes but you can't go hunting i said no sir he goes well geez i don't know what i'd do if i couldn't go well where would we go hunting like there's no way to do it there's no wild animals that you're gonna fucking squirrel I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't go hunting. Well, where would we go hunting? Like, there's no way to do it. There's no wild animals that you're going to...

But a fucking squirrel? You could kill a squirrel. Even if you killed a squirrel, there'd probably be some lady, like, pushing a baby in a pram next to the tree where you shot the squirrel. Takes an air rifle shot to the neck. Ah!

That's the squirrel. I don't think there's anywhere I could... I mean, is there any like hunting grounds? If you wanted you could become one of the people responsible for the deer cull at Richmond Park Yeah I think the Windsors have like vast

states where they It's very necessary If you don't do it all the deer fucking die. There's no predators for them in Richmond Park other than cars and they all have to go 5 miles an hour so the only real predator is men with guns who trim the population otherwise all the deer suffer and the park why don't we just lift the speed limit just generally just because then you're putting people at risk as well as deer this way

you just kill it there's always going to be those married at first sight people driving into the deers to cull the numbers do you know what I mean? it's like let's just mash together the idiots come closer my dear come closer my dear oh no that's it for this week I need a poop

that's a good one, thank you everyone alright we'll see you next time bye that's a good one thank you everyone all right we'll see you next time bye