Triforce! - Triforce! #216: That's the Dongers Guarantee!

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

Triforce! Episode 216! Sips is worried his kids don't have the street smarts, Pyrion busts open the mailbag once again and Lewis announces he's opening a chain of male only strip clubs called Dongers! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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promotional interest rate for the first six months, the new TD Low Rate Visa Card can help find some balance. Learn more at td.com slash low rate card. Conditions apply. Limited time offer. well hello there well hello welcome back well hello to the triforce podcast that's right uh two dads and a adoptive dad i feel like i've been many people just think i'm their dad now so that's how i am um do you think you could uh realistically dad your way out of a wet paper bag though because i have doubts no not at all yeah i think the push came to shove i imagine you're you're the kind of dad and there are not really the wet wiping nose wiping no i generally wiping dad i see you as a you're like the dad who's just sort of curled up in the fetal position in the corner crying.

I'm one of those posh dads who has a nanny. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I see the children in my study when it's appropriate. Yeah. Send in the children. I line them up. You're like the dad from Mary Poppins. Which one are you?

David, yes. Good to see you. Good. You're like the dad from Mary Poppins. Which one are you? David, yes. Good to see you. Good, you're looking good. Your hair's a bit long. And you? Cynthia. Okay, good. Well, good to see you too. How's your school doing? Alright, well, take them away, take them away. We'll see them again in six months. See how they've been getting on.

Off to boarding school. Off and away. I know a few people have sent their kids to boarding school, and I still don't understand it. Why would you have kids and then ship them to boarding school. Off and away. I know a few people have sent their kids to boarding school, and I still don't understand it. Why would you have kids and then ship them to boarding school? If you're both fabulously busy. So turn them into a cunt, P-Flex. Come on, you've been tempted before, though, right?

Well, boarding school made me a massive cunt, so I want my children to become what I am, too. Go on, off you go. I just think it's awful. How could you do it? We use that one as kind of like a threat in the house, you know, when the children are misbehaving. You know, if there's like misbehaving, like I usually do like the role play thing where

I like pretend to pick up the phone. I was like, hello, boarding school. Yes, I've got two here that would love to come and spend a lot of time with you. But no, I mean, I would never send my kids to boarding school but um but it's nice to have it as a threat for sure you know when they're when they're when they're acting wild and crazy around bedtime and stuff like that it's prison for kids let's call it what it is it's prison yeah some people can make it out normal but most people get a bit weird so a lot of people get a bit weird very hogwartsian isn't it the idea of it as well like

slightly kind of i don't know like like kind of i think it's a whole thing terrible for kids mental health i really believe that because yeah if you think about it like when my kids go to school quite often they come home and there's a problem with some other kid at school because you're stuck with other kids at school you know the people in your class or whatever you're stuck with them so that's it it's like it's good training for having to put up with shitty colleagues because you're stuck with them that's it that's your job yeah you could leave your job but it's not always convenient at school you've got even less choice you're stuck with these other kids and if you're getting bullied you're fucked you know but you reckon it's a little bit it is like prison though prison rules

you know that you have to figure it out as a society the structure builds itself and you know the that's why the old boys network so powerful once you leave you know because you've made all these frenemies that you kind of stay in touch with and compete with for the rest of your life and they're all very successful also they've all been through the same thing oh he's talking with him banking now oh is he yeah well but they've all been through the same thing so there might be some kind of like. Camaraderie. Yeah. Like, you know, brothers in arms kind of thing.

Like they've been through that. Or maybe camaraderie. Because of all the weird. The biscuit game. Because it's very sexually charged, I feel like boarding school, right? Like you're going there at a time where you're just hitting puberty. So like you can imagine everybody's just jacking off all the time and stuff and like exploring their bodies and sexuality. But away from home as well, which is kind of weird too.

Yeah, but these days you've got your phone. You can just like, as long as you can get a bit of privacy. I don't know if you really get that much privacy at boarding school. You know, everyone's always, someone always watching you wherever you are kind of thing yeah i always felt like a boarding school the biggest bullies would be the teachers right like i know we talked about whiplash briefly last week but like i imagine most boarding schools to be like the movie whiplash with like just crazy teacher or like headmaster that just psychologically um bullies you the whole time that you're there. And none of the other kids even get a chance.

You know what I mean? I think if you don't go to boarding school, other kids are definitely the problem. Bullies and stuff like that. The teachers just can't control anything. I think you get a picture- If one of you didn't go to boarding school, you got a picture of it when you went on a school trip overnight somewhere and the teacher was staying with you, you know, in a,

in some hotel or some, you know, big, big place where we did a bunch when we went to France on these overnight school trips, there'll be some Olympic,

um, you know, like kind of changing rooms, like, you know, like, I don't know, it'll be some sort of apartments

for, of students or whatever. Right. And it wasn't being used because it was summer and it was it was kind of shit like the dormitories for like the commonwealth games or something yes that's what it felt like we were staying in and we'd all have to sort of troop around and the teacher would be trapped there with us in unwillingly kind of thing in in some slightly smaller or nicer room but still having to bug down with fellow teachers in this kind of it in in some slightly smaller or nicer room but still have a debunk down with fellow teachers in this kind of it was a very like i feel like it's either unwillingly or overly exaggeratedly didn't quite know what to expect and how how much they were gonna have to share with who you know yeah i guess i'm not thrilled about the prospect of school trips for my kids.

Like, we don't really leave our kids with anybody or we don't really leave them anywhere alone and stuff. You're going to be recruited to, you know, supervise them, you know, because they have to have one adult per six kids or whatever. I mean, I don't want to do that either, but... You're going to get volunteered to go to Mont Saint-Michel. I would do it if it meant that my kids were staying over somewhere with a bunch of strangers and stuff. I would definitely volunteer.

But yeah, I don't know. The whole thing... There's going to be one kid who's being sick and there's going to be one kid who's like shit themselves. Yeah. Oh, fuck. It's going to be awful. They keep crying because they want to go home and stuff.

Like, there's always... Yeah, it's like, we've only been gone for two hours. Yeah, yeah. We're not even on the bus yet. Oh, man. home and stuff like there's always yeah it's like we're already we've only been gone for two hours well my kids this week um have been uh they went to bath uh with my mom oh nice um i was going to be going with him but um i thought i had covid because of this is f's uh had it so i was i was very worried so i was just like you know i was a little worried i didn't want my mom last time she was here she got a cold it lasted like eight weeks or something she had to get all these antibiotics and all the rest of it she caught it caught something from the kids

so i'm just wary of uh her age giving her a cold or anything like that uh but it turns out i'm i'm okay like i i don't think i'm i'm ill at. I've got maybe a tiny cold, but nothing serious. But they went anyway. They were going to stay. You've got a nervous click, though. I can tell you're clicking the mouse nervously. Yeah, now I'm a little nervous. I feel very guilty about the fact that on the Monday night,

I was like, I probably could go down with them. But they'd all committed to going down, just the three of them. Well, this sucks, right? Because it's almost like you were the boy who cried wolf. I know. You made an excuse to get out of it. you actually kind of wanted to go man i wouldn't mind it yeah if you made it down i was gonna come and see you you can't you can't spend your whole life feeling bad just enjoy the peace and quiet while you can like you get a couple of days of

peace and quiet well they're pretty they're pretty quiet i'll be honest with you you've got little kids it's different i remember having that and i was like oh man i need a break but now it's it's more of i'm aware of the fact that in five years time more or less my eldest is gonna leave to go to university right i'm not gonna see her leave the roost time yeah um and that that scares the hell out of me that's scary yeah i was talking to uh i was talking to um my wife uh earlier about uh something i read on reddit and it was about uh people with street smarts uh explaining street smarts to people without street smarts right i love the term street smarts yeah yeah so it's people people who have experience living in like a really big city or living in

like a pretty rough neighborhood and some some like little tips and tricks for people who are completely out of their depth with that yeah clueless like i live in a really small place not much happens over here we don't really have to be overly careful about uh even locking our doors if we don't want to like we do obviously but you know what i mean like it it's a it's a pretty sleepy place very low crime rate low uh like there there's not that many like um social issues if you like sort of thing you know what i mean it's not like there's not there's not big areas of uh of like people who are clearly like not uh earning as much as others or whatever you know know, like it's, it's a, it's a fairly affluent place. And my kids are being raised here as well.

Right. And we were just saying one, you know, one day they're going to go to university and they're going to go somewhere like to like Manchester or something. And like, what the fuck are they going to do? Like, you know, like I've never been to Manchester. I know parts of it probably aren't great or whatever like my kids aren't going to be used to a big city let alone having to worry about like you know what parts of that city are places they don't want to go and stuff like that and i guess kids are a lot more versatile than that especially like when they become teenagers becoming adults as well because you

always think of them in the terms of you know they're 10 years old then obviously they're not always going to be right but man it still worries the shit out of me to think that they're just going to be out there in the world are you worried that they're like isolated and they're not going to know these street smarts because they're like boarding school kids they'd be coddled in the luxury of the jersey island being safe from yeah like a little bit no if that's true i don't think it is either but i think it's i think it's a valid thing to worry about as a parent like you you know you you you're unsure right like like i i grew up near a fairly big city and i have experience living in a city and stuff but and i feel like it wasn't a problem for me sort of thing but i i just

i i just worry that like maybe my kids won't be ready for that. Or it's just another layer of, you know, things that they have to get used to or something. I'm probably worrying for no reason. I don't think you're worrying for no reason. I think it's obviously completely valid concern. Anytime a parent is concerned for their kid's well-being, I think is valid, genuinely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And sometimes people that know better might just need to assuage their fears and say,

look, don't worry, it's fine, it's not what you think or whatever. But if my kids went to a town or a city that had particularly rough parts, I'd think, well, London has a lot of those, but they haven't been in those areas. No, of course. I would hope that they would have common sense and the people that they would hang out with would have common sense. the people that they would hang out with would have common sense. But it's very hard to say. I know that if you don't learn at some point, you're going to be an idiot the rest of your life in a way. You have to learn sometimes

the hard way, hopefully not in the worst of ways. But if they go to the wrong area and their phone gets nicked and they get pushed around or punched or something like that, that sucks. But they survived it. And hopefully they will fucking learn their lesson and be more careful. I'm always very careful when I'm out and about. I like to think that I'm quite clued in about looking out for danger, spotting it. You can tell the difference between people who are just having a laugh and something that's about to turn nasty. And you just sort of get a feel for that stuff. but it's not like when I was 13 I had any

idea about that I'm sure no of course that but yeah it is hard so I mean sometimes you're on guard permanently and you can't live like that right like when I went to Rome I felt like it was just permanently on guard partly because of the harassment of like the street sellers and stuff like this, and other bits and bobs. I'd heard one of my friends, their bag had been pickpocketed or whatever. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

And so as a result, I was just on high alert that whole time, and I never really could settle back and enjoy it. Everywhere- I always feel like it's a bit different for you though, because you've got a $3,000 a day cocaine habit. So you're always going to be dealing with unsavory types wherever you go. My normal feeling is just heightened. My normal light anxiety turns into mega stress. And not only that, you have to put yourself into situations to acquire the white gold, you know.

So you have to go seek out the dealers and stuff. And that's going to take you down some odd paths, you know? Yeah, well, I found that if you ask security guards, doorman, you know, like food cart owners, those types of people, they're a good source because they usually sort of know. Actually, weirdly, though, the one of the things I was told was that those types of people know where the nearest bathrooms are, right?

So you can always, because as we get older- Oh, you read the thread as well. That was one of the tips. We find ourselves caught short more often. What did you think about the tip of, if you're walking down a road in the middle of the night

and it's really dark, walk in the middle of the road. Don't walk on sidewalks or anywhere close to like the openings of side roads or alleys or whatever. Just walk in the middle of the street. It's a fucking alien movie or whatever. It's pretty sensible, actually. I don't know. It just feels.

I think that kind of makes you stick out like a sore thumb. Yeah. I always just try to keep my head down and hurry on. Think about it if you were if you were the type that was lurking in an alley trying to grab somebody you're not going to run out into the middle of the road and grab them are you you're just i don't think people lurk in alleys as much as patrol like certainly they probably don't maybe but like around here you see like on my little neighborhood whatsapp group uh where we sort of post all our ring doorbell captures of sullen youths looking shifty, they're always walking up and down

the road slowly looking. Because most of them are looking for something easy to steal then and there. They don't want to fucking have to spend an hour in an alleyway like a hunter. Because if no one comes along, what a waste of time. They might have missed out on something. So you cover as much ground as you can in what you consider soft areas that have have high target potential for either bumping into someone who you can mug or someone's left their bike unchained or some or a fucking window is open that's what they're looking for yeah so i don't agree with the alleyway theory because who's gonna fucking hang out in an alleyway maybe if you

were in a in the middle of town on a saturday night they're looking for someone some drunk walking past so they can bump into the alleyway but i've i've been approached i'm sure this has happened to other people listen to this this is a famous con especially happens around train stations coach stations bus stations the guy comes up to you and it's you will have heard this one instantly can you help me? I've lost my wallet. I just need eight pounds to get the ticket to get home. Give me your name and address. I'll mail you the money. And they always say, just come over here, down here, and we'll do it down this alleyway. That's the angle they want to get you to come with them down an alleyway

to sort this deal out, give them the money. And at that point, they knock you on the head and take your wallet, I guess. That's the plan, right? If you fall for that, that's not street smarts. That's just being too nice and trusting and thinking, oh, this poor fellow, I must help him. That's the kind of con. They're looking for mugs. And the way they do it is not hanging out an alleyway. They go somewhere busy and they appear friendly. And then they lure you away with the promise of something else. A friend of mine- I think maybe in the case of mugging but i i i was more thinking like uh you know people people trying to grab you in down into like uh into like darker side streets and stuff to uh like assault you and stuff you know i still even then i think they're either on patrol or they will find

a way to get you to that to isolate you somehow under other conditions under uh you know false pretenses sort of sure but i think if you're walking in the middle of the road it's it's probably uh a good one because they're not even going to really run out to the road to even talk to you in the first place right well not without stopping and looking both ways very carefully exactly left they'll look right they'll look left again by that point you're long gone. Even criminal families teach their children the green cross codes. There was another really interesting thread relating to this. And it was, I'm assuming

it was a woman's posting, a thread saying, what would you do if you were walking down the street and a woman approached you with like utmost familiarity, you know, talking to you like as if you were friends, but you'd never seen this person before. Am I a woman or am I a man in this scenario? You're a man in this situation. I'm me in this scenario. Yeah, and a woman comes up to you and is being very friendly and like saying things like, oh, hey, it was really great catching up.

Or like, hey, what's up? It's you, you know, like coming over to you, like hugging you and stuff like that. Trce fan would be my they're like the um the bots or like the the tin the tinder prostitutes no but apparently this is like this is a uh this is like a a sort of thing that people can do i'm trying to send you some speakers no they're trying to say like please fucking help me somebody is like stalking me or following me around or whatever and i just need to attach myself to somebody to throw them off you know because like the minute it like i'm not in the mind of a of a stalker whatever but i'm

assuming that like the minute they see them meet up with like you know somebody that they're familiar with or whatever then it's like okay well game game over i'm not going to be able to you know mug this person or or or apprehend them or whatever well i would certainly hope that they would be able to whisper something yeah some something like just pretend you know me please this guy's really great well i think that i think that happens too but i've just come from the gym where i can lift 400 kilograms easily over my head with one hand absolutely let's stroll home i could carry you if you needed and of course i have my gun as ever it'd be weird though right because i'd like to think that i would be like you know

in on it i would know what was going on and i would be like okay this person needs like some help and i can just easily pretend that i'm friends with them to help them or something. A part of me would always be like, I'm getting fucking scammed here or I'm getting set up. Like, what the fuck is going on? I thought you were going to warn us about some sort of scam. But this has happened to me when I was, you know,

with my partner. So it was like, people have approached us as a couple. I think that's a safer bet, right? Yeah, because if you pick the wrong guy, he's like, I'm a i'm a pervert too that's out of the frying pan into the fire you can't you can't roll the bad that's like you're running away from frankenstein you bump into a lad he turns around it's dracula it's like whoa i'm in big trouble here i think a lot of the time though it's it's actually you know you're in

a bad neighborhood there's no guys around you're like oh my car can't start and they surround the car yeah and you're like oh and they're like do you need help we can push you if you want and you're like oh that would be great thanks you know it's mostly like good stuff that comes out of these types of situations right there's not like it's not like i was watching this um watching this old documentary touching the voyage remember this we talked about it i think on the triforce podcast before about um the guy who those those young men who were like climbing in the andes oh yeah one of them got injured so his friends all cut the rope and abandoned him young men i am ditching at the start of the trip like we turn up there in the

four by four we got all the gear and before we take one step to climb this perilous mountain i'm like lads man i'm going home yeah i'm not even in the four by four i've called in sick before the four by four has even left the city i'm just like no i'm not going climbing nothing there's this guy that they meet like halfway up the mountain you know um who's like at the base camp a bit and he's sort of he's the guy who's there like and so they sort of introduce him and they talk about him and he's involved and i was like is he is he some is he does he kill them like is he because i'd sort of forgotten i was like is he is he the bad guy now but of course not no he's just a random guy that they just happen to like have in this story and and he's he's not really involved he's there

they climb the mountain one of them falls and injures himself the other one comes back and then the injured one manages to crawl back despite having a broken leg and like frostbite and like completely fucked it's an epic story totally amazing story classic i think they're fucking idiots but carry on idiots but yeah obviously what are you doing i've got no time for you they're adventurous they're young partly partly this was like um so so sort of reading about it a bit relevant to today one of the guys was really interested in climbing because he had a sort of teacher at school he really got into climbing and his parents sort of forbade

him from climbing. They said it was too dangerous, you can't do it. And as a result he ended up becoming a climber. Right? Because you can't really do that. Like, if you deny something that someone's passionate about, all it's

going to do is deepen that passion. If they're stubborn assholes who don't listen to their parents, I wanted something that someone's passionate about all it's going to do is is deepen that passion if they're stubborn assholes who don't listen to their parents i wanted a motorcycle for years lewis and my mum forbade it and now mrs f forbids it i'm not going to get one i'm not going to be like i'm doing it because you don't want me to that's not human nature that's being a dickhead maybe that's good advice that your parents are giving you please don't climb the mountain just two of you are you gonna die oh now you've made me do it look what you've done that's projecting that's your own failures you're projecting to other people for trying to help you i say bullshit okay okay well i think

this i think sometimes it works i think sometimes it doesn't um i did you really want a motorbike that bad pflex was that your? Were you collecting motorbike magazines? I slept with a tiny model of a motorcycle every night. Really? My poster of Erika Relenjak that I had on my wall when I was a young lad, I replaced her head with a motorcycle helmet and her boobs were tires. So, yes, very much so. Right. Did you have like a biker nickname?

I was called the bald eagle very good very impressive wow very impressive yeah do you reckon that was like contributed to it you just always you know had that dream and it came true without like you realizing like subconsciously the helmet is very sheer how it doesn't have any hair it's quite shiny yeah i was gonna say i've crafted my entire look around yeah you look like you just got a full-time bike helmet on in some exactly yeah like i'm wearing a very very very shiny hat yeah have you got like any kind of like tattoos of like chains or like fiery birds absolutely or like yeah i've got harley davidson tattooed across my back like

flames rising from your wrists up your arms or something like that yeah corn to ride yeah like like um i have a tattoo of a chopper motorcycle on my actual chopper meaning my penis right there yeah nice i've never heard it referred to as a chopper before. Do you want to hear something else? Go on, I'd love to. We got some emails for the Triwiz podcast. I don't normally do the mailbag to the end, but I'm intrigued. This is one of those ones where I haven't prepared anything. No, we've prepared nothing.

It's clear. He's loving this mail. Big shout out to the mailbag. Big ups. I think this week's big ups for the mailbag because last week the mailbag delivered the gold I feel like. Well, we've got some crackers this week. One of them is a very angry email.

Not directed at us. Right. Well, not all of us anyway, which is why I'm going to read it. I am the good guy in this. Okay, this will be interesting. Which is really, you know, first. Who's the bad guy? Is it Lewis? It's Lewis. Okay, good. And Brendan Sanderson is also the bad guy? Is it Lewis? It's Lewis. Okay, good. And Brendan Sanderson is also the bad guy in that.

Oh, wow. I'll cut to that one in a second. This is from a guy. He's called Max. He says, love the show. Whenever he's doing something mundane, he listens to the show. So he says, I study marine science in South New Zealand. Here is a cool thing I learned today I would like to share.

The water in the Mediterranean Sea gets evaporated in the high temperatures, which leaves behind salt, because you can't have salt in a gas. The salt builds up over time to make really salty water, which sinks to the bottom of the sea and then spills into the Atlantic Ocean. The same thing happens at the North and South Pole, where ice locks up fresh water and leaves behind salt. They sink to the bottom of the the ocean and then over thousands of years will circulate to the other pole. That's it. I don't know why that's quite so fascinating to Max, but I guess we mentioned salt water at some point. I think we might have done. Is the Mediterranean saltier? Did we ask that then? Is that why? And it is. Is it the Dead Sea? That's the saltiest one, right? You float like crazy in that one. Right. But I mean, it's not a lake, is it? It's the saltiest one right you float like crazy in that one right but that what

i mean it's i think it's not a lake is it it's connected to other things isn't it the dead sea it is a salt lake it's a it's a lake it's a big salt lake that ain't leaking anywhere but certainly the places where there's the most evaporation do you think salt lake city is jealous about that one well they got a city they named their they named their whole city after a smaller salt lake you know know? Yes, true. But we all know Salt Lake. Like, Salt Lake City. It's just got... It's a great name, Salt Lake City.

It just happens to be home to the Mormons. Yeah, that's where the Mormons are from, yeah. The Great Salt Lake, it's about half as salty as the Dead Sea, it turns out. So its salinity is only 142 grams per kilogram, which is still quite salty right as opposed to the dead sea which is 337 just bear in mind the americans are very good sales people

yeah they can sell anything right so we we when you hear salt lake city you think well this place must be unbelievably salty the dead oh man okay i saw i're Dead Sea, and I raised you one session on Don't Starve Together. Oh, my God. I had such a meltdown the other day playing it. It was unbelievable. It's because it's a garbage game. What are you doing back in there, you maniac? I know.

Here's another email. Okay, Hyperion. This is from Lois. Lois. Lois. Not Lois, Lois. Lois. In the latest Triforce,

Lois was arguing that no one is doing filing as a job. And you said, meaning me, that someone is doing filing right now listening to this. I was. Yeah, there you go. I work for the NHS, so I can't take any pictures. I also have had a few tweets about this as well. As it would go against GDPR rules.

It still happens. They're not going to phase out filing anytime soon, guys. Okay? I'm just saying. Hold on. Hold your horses there, young fella. Even to transfer paper documents over to digital, that is filing. Right, so listen. Imagine

a huge warehouse filled with rows of filing cabinets of medical files. My job is to mostly find the files, file them away at the end of the day for a few hours. It's boring, but listening to Triforce podcast makes it more bearable anyway. Fun fact, there is a team here slowly scanning each boring, but listening to Triforce podcast makes it more bearable anyway. Fun fact, there is a team here slowly scanning each file

so that in the future, all medical records will be digital. There you go. If worked out, it will take 10 to 15 years just to scan the files they already have.

Yeah. Which only covers the records for the two main hospitals in Lois' local area. So it's going to take 10 to 15 years just for the ones they've already got.

And meanwhile, there's new ones coming in all the time. It's going to take 10 to 15 years for the ones they've already got and meanwhile there's new ones coming in all the time it's going to take forever to do this and then i guess eventually at the end of the day you will be digitizing that day's files rather than having to go back and digitize old ones but there you go so they are working on it it's just going to take time isn't it yeah that's cool though like i mean they i guess you free up a lot of space because those filing areas are a huge mess of space, aren't they? But then again, in America, space is like, fuck it. There's so much space, you could just throw up a gigantic warehouse.

But then there's the carbon footprint though, right? You save space, yeah, but then you need more servers and more power and stuff, right? So there's trade-offs too. That's true. Maybe we should not be doing this, is what I'm saying. Maybe. Wasting their time. 15 years for what? A load of old dead grandma's medical records. Who cares? I do not agree with this sentiment okay for anyone listening i'm just they're only joking i was joking i was joking

louis probably in nigeria in senegal meaning lake retba or lac rose in the cap veats peninsula of senegal yeah is even saltier than than the dead sea. But the saltiest place is a place called Gate Ale Pond, a hypersaline lake near the Dalol crater in the Danakil Depression in Ethiopia. It is located over a hot spring of tectonic origin. It has no apparent inlet or outlet streams. It is 43% salt. Wow. That's ridiculous.

The saltiest water body on earth.ez i know it's amazing you could brine some chicken in that i guarantee you just just hang your chicken in the lake it's brine if you raised chickens next to the lake imagine you went down there and it was just filled with people's chickens like just everybody's brining them just brining them up all right so here's the the last email for the week. This is from Chase, right? Chase. That's his name, is Chase. To give you some idea, there's a lot of capitalization in this email.

He's livid, all right? I am emailing you in the five seconds of you saying how disgusting Brian Sanderson's little Kickstarter is before Lewis and Sip shot this through and defended him. You are 100% right in the fact that it is disgusting and is not some self-publishing win first off brian sanderson's biggest fan appears to be himself is it brandon never read him it's a brian he says brian so okay it is i have never read him, nor will I, but in an ad I saw on YouTube, he said,

for all the Bryan Sanderson fans in your life, while promoting his get-rich-quick scheme by making money on unpublished books. He obviously loves himself more than any fan ever could. Another way I see this are the prices on the Kickstarter. While looking to see who it was after the ad, I've never heard of him, I was brought to the page. The prices of the package are absurd. I don't remember exact prices, looking to see who it was after the ad i've never heard of him i was brought to the page the prices

of the package are absurd i don't remember exact prices but they were getting up in there and the hundreds of dollars for the unsigned copies of the book these eight other gift boxes you will get will not be worth the money either now you may be using the excess money to help other authors self-publish i have not done that much research however i, I doubt this. Also, if he's such a prolific and well-known author as Lewis and Sips made him seem, why didn't he cap

the Kickstarter like you said but was shot down as he does not need the money? This is all a get-rich-quick before he even publishes his shit book scheme. Not sure if you cover this

on a live stream or something. Busy college student can't catch the streams. In short, I agree with your opinion on the Kickstarter and think it is disgusting. Thank you, Chase.

Fuck me, Chase. I think capping the kickstarter like the reality is is that you know if you're getting a book printed right getting a thousand is about the same as getting ten thousand printed you know i mean the the same company is gonna just smash them all out for fuck all and mail them out for you it might take longer if there's more but i not that much longer i think that's the sort of general i'm just saying i think i thought it was funny how angry chase got oh it's a great email i love it i don't know why i've started replying to it if anybody can be bothered articulating their thoughts that well on this subject then i agree with you i will just change my mind. Good man. Brian, great email.

Was that from Brian? That was from Chase about Brian Sanderson. Brian Sanderson. Well, his name's Chase and this is actually Brandon. They both got basically the same high school football names. Chad. He just needs to be called Chad or Chance. Oh, man.

Yeah. Hunter. Anyway, thank you. That was a... That threw me off. Fantastic. Is there any, like, updates? I did see one update on something we did talk about before on Triforce.

Remember we talked about fucking Axie Infinity? No, no. That shitty Philippine game where you have to... Man, every week... NFT thing. This podcast for me is like I'm in the movie memento if if it's not tattooed on my body we never spoke about it honestly every week it's like a brain i get people popping up in chat and making some joke from some old episode yeah it looks like they're just insulting me and i ban

them yes the unbanned request comes through fuck me i do that all the time i don't ban them but like i'll get offended and I'm like I don't fucking remember I don't fucking remember what we said last week why do you think we repeat ourselves I don't fucking make notes what the hell did we talk about last week we're getting worse though

we are definitely getting worse we've done 215 episodes of this show we're gonna repeat ourselves it's 6 years it's unscripted we're telling me in six years? It's unscripted, too. We're not talking about a specific topic. We don't have an outline of talking points or anything here. It's like, hello, P-Flaxon.

You're like, oh, do you know who said hello? And then that's what happens. It's literally that bad. Oh, it was raining today. Oh, that reminds me of the time when it was raining. I was stuck in the rain. I got all wet. My socks got all soaked.

There's the whole story there. You know, I mean, if we'd set a topic, like this week's topic is cooking utensils or whatever, you know, then that would be, we would remember that we'd done all our chat about spoons on that episode. Go back to the spoons episode or whatever. We're just talking shit. Speaking of socks getting wet, mine did get wet this week.

What happened? Well, I was in my backyard and I got a couple of plants from the garden center for the greenhouse because it's the season now. I want to get some strawberries going and stuff. I love Sips' greenhouse. Is it still just like a cupboard with glass doors? Yeah, yeah, it's fine. It's fine.

It's like a super, super small greenhouse. It's adorable. It just needs to get seeds going and then they can go outside. But yeah, it works. It's good for us. Can I have a guess about what happened really quickly? And if I'm right, you have to virtually high five me. Okay.

All right. So you bought some plants from the garden center, right? Yeah. You brought them home. It's been raining a lot here. So you bought some plants from the garden center, right? Yeah. You brought them home. It's been raining a lot here. I don't know if it's rained a lot there. When you went to pick up the plants, all water poured out and got your shoes wet. No, no, no.

Okay, we'll carry on them. All right. So I put them directly into the greenhouse so that they could warm up and be cozy and stuff. Yeah, you didn't get a virtual high five for that one. The next day, I came out to water them. I went to access my outdoor water butt, which gets drainage off of the house from the, what do you call those things around your roof? Gutters. The gutters.

Right. It collects all the gutter water. And I went to switch it on to fill up my can and there was a brief delay like because it hadn't been used all like it you know it'd been dormant since last year yeah sure it's probably full of algae yeah it was so it was all blocked up and i was like oh shit it's all blocked up and then just as soon as i had that thought fucking water sprayed everywhere, didn't it? All over my goddamn-

You didn't have the watering can under it. And I had my flip flops with my socks on at the time. What? Socks got absolutely soaked. Whoa. Not just soaked. I was wearing white socks. There was a brownish tint to the soaking as well.

Good. I'm glad this happened to you. Why are you wearing socks and flip flops? What's wrong with you? Man, I'm'm like i never leave my house pretty much and it's really two meters out of his dad garage like never never he's not got on a trek down to the local okay well but these are the flip-flops with just the big band across the top of the foot there's no there's no no no no no no there's no toe um toe separator or anything it's an open toe shoe yeah you ain't wearing socks that's the rule no one's seeing though

it's not he knows he's doing it man like if you ever saw the movie boys in the hood and you know ice cube goes outside in his slippers with his socks on and uh and he dies at the end of the movie yeah but i didn't die in this case i just got like a little bit of uh like a brown tint on my socks your your that's the equivalent relative to the danger of your neighborhood compared to his in his rough neighborhood death yeah in your rough neighborhood wet socks brown stain and a bit of an algae buildup in my butt. Right. So that's an L for you. In my water butt. Your butt's not being used for you.

The butt hasn't been used for a couple of months, so it was a little bit blocked. I'm just saying, just take the socks off next time. For a start, if I'm doing anything with water in the garden, I ain't wearing fucking trainers and socks and shit out there. I'm putting on shorts and I'm wearing footwear. He was just popping out to quickly do it. No, he out this is a whole i've done it i like to wear socks almost all the time like you're like if i'm indoors there's no way i'm walking around barefoot

like it's kind of gross like because your feet are really sweaty you don't you don't realize that they are but you're so you're just leaving foot sweat like all over the ground also as soon as you get like kids or pets this floor is never it's a death trap oh yeah there's gonna be some gun stepping on lego all the day i'd rather get that on my sock it's like if it's not lego it's like little barbie shoes you know like they always have these little plastic high heels for barbies man i step on those things all the time and they really hurt. Like, they can pierce the skin sometimes if they fall on the ground the wrong way or whatever. Like, man.

Also, Americans will never know the pain of stepping on a plug. Like, you know, because our British plugs, like, rest with the three pins pointing up. Yeah, they got a fuse in them, though, too, right? That's why they're so big. Fuck you if you step on those. You know, at least the sock cushions it a bit yeah especially if you've got one of those big home walk around comfy laser i mean i i've basically not worn much beyond a track suit in the last three years let's be honest i'm just in my pjs

most of the time i mean i'm wearing like tracky bottoms today and like a shitty jumper i mean fucking i don't i'm even i'm in the office i came into the office of this shit and uh people sort of just are used to it now i just i wear flip-flops i mean i only live like 10 minutes walk away so i just flip-flop my way in and fucking hope that no one sees me on the way on the way in you know i don't think i get i don't get stopped very often no um but there's a few pics of me on twitter of people who've caught me on that 10 minute commute and i'm like oh god i just sort of smile like pictures of you like from far away sort of thing like no like they

were like carl did you want to have get a picture with me and i'm like oh i guess i guess like i'm not worried about getting a picture with him i'm'm just worried that I look awful. Which, you know, it happens. I try to avoid mirrors these days. It's just sort of a thing. I just don't give a fuck, man. I don't give a shit how I look or whatever now. I used to probably when I was younger, but I feel the older you get, you let go of a lot of that stuff. I just don't give a shit.

There is a brief period of disappointment where you look at your receding hairline, or you look at your browning teeth, or whatever, and you're like, oh, fuck it, man, you just gotta roll with it. You're like, actually, do you know what? Fuck it. Mrs. F doesn't look me in the eye anymore, so as long as I avoid her gaze, I can wear whatever I like. Right.

Yeah. Right. eye anymore so as long as i avoid her gaze i can wear whatever right yeah i see right well that just might be the the glazed over worry of her own self fears you know that we all experience their own creeping depression that the age is wrinkling us and making us more stupid oh man jesus you know happy thursday everybody on a lighter a lighter note, I've come to the point now in Married at First Sight Australia where I actually just hate everybody on the show. Wow. It was always underlying and I knew it would get to this point. Even the hosts. These reality shows, I don't think you're meant to watch them from start to end.

Usually we give up maybe a week before it ends. You're meant to dip in. Everybody just becomes so insufferable near the end, for whatever reason. That's amazing that they found those people. It's incredible. It's like, I don't know how they do it. Like, it's just, it's

nuts. It's been a rollercoaster this year. One thing that happened over the last couple of weeks, which might be worth mentioning, is r slash place. Oh yeah. I don't know. I don't really know what that is, honestly. No. You place one pixel per Reddit account, you get to place one pixel.

Is that right? No, not quite. It makes like a big map of like basically little pixel arts. If you arrange with other people, you can place things to draw a thing. Right. Isn't that how it is? Yeah, that is it. So how many pixels do you get to place? One every like five hours or something like that?

I thought it was like five minutes or something. No, it wasn't five minutes. I don't know. I didn't actually do it. Sorry, I can look it up. Wow, I didn't realize I was being asked questions about this. Well, you brought it up, son. Have you done your research? Have you done your due diligence? When people are having fun, I actually just get angry. I fucking hate fun. There are around 2.5 million pixels placed by- and 6 million people placed a pixel. Fucking hell. Kind of makes me sick how- just Reddit. Just fucking Reddit makes me want to pee.

The whole fucking thing. What a shithole. You weren't even interested in it. You're not seeing the fucking pixel art and stuff. It just annoys me. Reddit annoys me. It's like I read it all the time. And there's no funny content on Reddit

other than reposts from something that actually is funny. Like Reddit is just a place for people to post funny stuff that happens somewhere else. Just all I see it is, is a convenience store where I can go and find clips or announcements or stuff about games that I play or films I'm into or something. There's very little genuinely funny content. When there is, it's so rare. You think these people must be lurking the rest of the time because your average redditor is not funny they're fucking degenerates and it's a hive of shit that's reddit in a nutshell

the guy who made r slash place was actually the guy who made wordle his name's josh wardle he made it originally in 2017 no no no his name's not josh wardle his name is josh wardle yes um is it actually is that how he came up with the name Wardle? I don't know. Maybe. Do you think he, maybe he'll do a deed poll and change his name to Josh, our place.

Just throwing that out there. So like it's, it's, it's a bit, it was, it was wild. There was a whole journey, lots of communities,

lots of creators doing stuff. There was lots of like flags on there. lots of funny moments that came out of it there was this great bit where canada just couldn't make a maple i saw that it was just wales and then wales just did the whole dragon like perfectly right but canada just could not yeah there were loads of goods there were loads of really cool pics like loads of like weird things there was a lot of like communities sort of expressed themselves in really weird ways yeah um it was just this whole i don't know it was kind of fairly wholesome mostly you know and and quite fun like as a thing it was a really interesting bit of community canvas that is just graffiti really but it's amazing how these

people can be coordinated to create... You tend to see them to coordinate around countries, you know? Just so many flags. Like, you know I hate flags. He fucking hates flags, this guy. This guy is a true blue flag hater. You'll never meet... But in a sense, it is such an easy expression of a nation, right uh rather than grabbing something iconic i mean think

of what what is what is a i mean france have obviously got the eiffel tower and the louvre and a couple of sort of iconic things right they can represent their country fuck them you know what i mean like a lot of countries don't have fucking landmarks they're beautiful cities and shit fuck fuck off france already you show off nobody gives a shit about your towers and museums and stuff okay yeah yeah we want to go to hooters like real men okay where are your hooters at france they've opened a new one in france in in this country who does oh for fuck's sake oh fuck I honestly when I bring up something like this to you guys

I have no fucking idea what you're gonna say you know I didn't know whether you were into it and you'd made your own little area with your community or whether you had no idea or whether you were just you thought it was if it's a big trend on the internet, odds are I don't understand it and am immediately annoyed by it. So let's move on to the second Hooters restaurant,

which has been approved for the UK despite a backlash. A second Hooters restaurant will open in the UK despite a fierce backlash. I'm surprised in 2022 that Hooters are still opening, to be honest. Like, that amazes me. Exactly. People are calling the restaurant degrading and concerns that it could perpetuate a misogynistic environment.

Right now, there's only one in Nottingham, of course, which we've all been to, I'm sure. However, I've been there. All that is set to change after plans for a second Hooters venue in Liverpool were approved in the face of a major bank crash. They need a, I want to say like a sister restaurant chain, but maybe in this case, it would be

a brother restaurant chain called Honkers. And instead of women with big boobies wearing like basically swimsuits. It could be almost like a Chippendales sort of thing. Right. Guys with big knobs. You got to call it dongers. Guys with huge knobs, like just the biggest tackle you've ever seen,

hammocked inside like a small Speedo. And then, you know, they serve you food and stuff. Like I feel like if we're going to go one way, we've got to go the other way as well. I agree. Yeah, well, do you know what? I think it's going to happen. You know, maybe that's actually the, maybe like Hooters should just have it switched like on days.

Like one day it's like dollars. I want the uniform to be a guy in a really, really tight fitting Speedo with no other clothes on whatsoever and a bow tie. That's what I want. Okay tie that's what i want okay that's what that's what we want i feel that that would be the the the the the degrading side for men right like something like that i guess the problem is if we go down that route and i understand why people don't like hooters right if you go down that route of saying all right i tell you what to make it fair we'll

create dongers whose logo is a big bell because we're just talking about bells bells go dong nothing to do with penises well just like who is it's just an owl what are you talking about exactly so if we get on that route of saying that's fair what we're saying is anything goes as long as it applies to men and women being misogynistic or what's the one for men? What do you call it? I don't know. The other one.

I don't know. Misandry. Misandry. It's quite bad that we don't know that. It's misandry. There probably isn't even a term because that's how. It is. It's misandry.

That's how. It's deeply misogynistic. Yeah. That's how fucked up the whole situation is. I just forgot for a second. It's misandry. That's how... It's deeply misogynistic. Yeah, that's how fucked up the whole situation is. I just forgot for a second. It's Miss Andri. That's the hatred of men. Isn't that the name of one of the characters on Game of Thrones?

Miss Andri? I am Miss Andri. Miss Andri. And I hate men. Ooh, that's on the nose. Sorry, what were you saying? I can't remember. I think I was saying that if you have the misandry and the misogyny

and we both allow them to perpetuate in the name of fairness, it's actually doubling the unfairness. Well, look, first of all, on the one hand, there's probably 10 strip clubs in Liverpool, right, that no one's complaining about. I bet they are complaining about it. Strip clubs, Liverpool. I'm Googling.

Adult entertainment clubs. Oh, baby. Oh, Liverpool. I'm Googling. Adult entertainment clubs. Oh, baby. Oh, baby. Where do you want to go? Erotic gentlemen club? Angels Paradise gentlemen's club? Exclusive? Erotica?

X in the city? Hush? Angels VIP? The Liverpool escort agency? Or just... What else is there? Hooters. There's a whole bunch.

We've talked about this. Rude. There's one called bunch. We've talked about this. Rude. There's one called Rude. Rude. How do you feel? I was going to say, because you remember when Abba Crobby and Fitz used to have topless guys outside the store?

No, I don't remember that. Who would kind of gatekeep normal men from actually going into them. I have no idea that was a thing. It was a thing for a long time. Yeah. And they had this whole, I think it was like thing for a long time yeah um and they had this whole i think it was like about 10 years of of happening it's i think it stopped in about 2015 because it was just a bit

i think they just realized it was like not cool it was kind of weird to have these sexy men in like malls just hanging out do you remember when like clubs like like like not clubs like clothing stores were a little bit like clubs as well they were kind of dark very dark so you could barely see like the clothes that you were trying to buy and they had like dance music i wear fucking track pants all the time i don't know what you're talking like a thing dude like in these in these like shops it just it was just normal i mean it seems so it was like kind of like a really sticky floor dingy weird atmosphere right that they focused on it's all gone it's all gone no it's all replaced by what the gap replaced by by nothing brandon sanderson signing some brian

brian sanderson and his fucking rich quick schemes paper chase whatever do you want to hear a story this is from the metro this is a couple of years ago this this young lad he went to on a stag do where he said he was living it large like pablo escobar was how he put it will turton 18 he found out he'd spent three and a half grand in a strip club oh uh he looked at his thing the next day and it's just a list of dances 120 pound a time sometimes he's having two girls at a time or he's saying yeah do it again another 120 pounds how is that itemized on your bill like what does that what does the transaction come up as i'll tell you it comes out as out of k1 and ronal events and

hospitality appears to be what it's called. Right. That's their, like- Their business name, yeah, yeah. Okay, but there's no itemization? You can't have a breakdown? Like, I wanna see where all my money went on this night. No, no, no, it is literally 120, 240, 240, because each of the transactions is listed

separately, but it doesn't list the name of the dancer. So I've Googled out of K dancer uh so i've got i've googled out of k1 right and i've got a reddit post from five years ago where this guy says um i don't remember what happened from 7 30 p.m till maybe 4 10 a.m but i was charged by somewhere from out of k1 for 260 quid holy crap uh Does anyone know what this is? What can 260 quid get you at a strip club nowadays? Well, I'll tell you, it's 120 quid a dance.

This is the funniest part. He went to the strip club. He was in there at 4pm. Hours past. Having the dinner buffet and stuff. He was camping out. He's in there at 4pm. Hours past pass, and he leaves the club roughly 1 a.m., feeling a bit worse for wear, and reckons he's been spiked.

He's in there for nine hours. He drank a lot of booze, I'm going to say. I don't think you drink that much at a strip club. Every time I've been to a strip club, the alcohol is very expensive, and most of the people that you go with end up buying one drink and nursing the crap out of it all night. Yeah. But man, 120 pounds for a dance is crazy. I mean, you know, he should just have gone to the Flying Scotsman.

Pound time. Job done. Fucking hell, man. 120 pounds 120 pounds yeah that's pretty nice at the fancy ones they do it would have to be a really fucking shit hot dance for 120 pounds like i've been to a spearman rhino once and i think the dancers were a hundred quid a pop and it's like it's a it's a stag do thing you know you've all gone there prepared to be debauched and do this kind of stupid expensive shit. I mean, but there are people that are clearly in there all the time.

I know that the ones in London, it's a lot of money like that for the VIP ones. And that's, I've, I got to, I'll admit, I've been to strip clubs, but I've never had like a private dance or anything. I always just thought that that would be awkward as fuck. Wait, so you're just there by the side of the stage tucking pretty much and only really there just because the people i'm with were very insistent on going uh i would never like seek one out on my own or you know like like offer it up as a destination if i was going out with friends or whatever right i i've just kind of reluctantly happened to be in strip clubs. It feels like such a throwback, though, doesn't it?

It really doesn't. If they came up with it now, I think you might be able to pitch it as some kind of, you know, I think the only time I willingly went was one year when we were all turning 18. We drove to Quebec, which was like 15 minute drive for us because you can get into strip clubs legally when you're 18 in Quebec. Oh, so you went to see all the French strippers. So, yeah. So we were like, it was kind of like jokingly like, fuck yeah, okay, let's go to the strip club. And like, and we all went.

And it was funny. Like it was, it was a, it was a fun night because, you know, a lot of us had just turned 18 and it was just you know it was a bit of fun or whatever but that's like i think that's the only time i kind of willingly went to one and every other time in my life that i've been which is like i could probably count on one hand uh has always been with a group of people that were very drunk already uh who and we just stumble into these places but like i don't think anybody really necessarily wanted to be there you know what i mean i'm just not cool enough like to do it to go i don't know i just never felt like i just felt that they'd like

laugh at me and and and i can't i can't deal with that do you mean and even if they even if they weren't actually laughing at me i'd see the laughter yeah god that sounds awful i sound like some incel they start dancing and like bumping and grinding on you what are you doing you're just sitting there like oh man this weather is nuts today huh like like what do you talk to them or you just sit there and like not make a sound like it's fucking awkward man i don't know my butt's all blocked up uh went in the garden to try to clean it out i want to see my sock it's kind of brown i didn't change them i didn't have a chance uh what do you think of this yeah it's it just it just just suddenly unblocked and bust all over my foot yeah it's disgusting fuck me it's i i don't know like i guess some people

really do go to these places a lot or whatever. And, you know, really get dances and stuff. For me, I always just thought it would just be way too awkward. Like, I've never even... Yeah, I can't. It fascinates me, though. I always want to watch a documentary about the people who go to this. This is what TV's for, right? To let you experience these weird worlds without actually having to go there yourself

and you see you realize how quickly how normal it is and everyone is there right like louis through going to some weird fucking place everyone's just normal people doing trying to get through their lives and they're like yeah and all the patrons are all fairly normal people or like slightly lonely people you know it's we should do we should do a a vid where we go to a strip club yeah we should we should do like a we should do like an on the road segment and try out some of these things that we just like have never really tried before go to dongers we go to a afternoon hot dog we could go to a spearmint rhinos or whatever it's called, white glass tigers, or- Does Hooters serve sexy food?

No, it doesn't. The dongers definitely cook. It's like sports food, right? People go there, watch sports, and eat wings and shit. Yeah, it's wings and ribs and burgers and shit. It just happens to be served by somebody wearing a bathing suit, more or less. But we're going to promise you the longest piece of hot meat between two buns that you've ever seen in your life.

Yeah. That's a donger's promise. That's a donger's promise. You come in the door. Like a jumbo, like a 10 inch hot dog kind of thing. 10 inch? That will be suggested. We're talking two foot dogs.

12 inch. We're talking a 24 inch. Two feet of meat. Like the party sub at Subway. Three feet of meat between your buns. That's our hot dog. And we bring it out on a huge tray. There's your meat between your buns. That's our hot dog. And we bring it out on a huge tray. There's your meat.

Man, there's some other stuff that we could do, though, that's not related to any of this stuff, right? Like maybe going for a hike up a mountain. We could hike up Mount Snowdon or something like that, right? Or at least attempt to. Maybe even just turn up at the base and just and decide not to or something and then go to the pub and then go to the pub and get a lap dance yeah we'd be on the first like wall and pflex would just cut us loose and be like yeah i'm going home

i'm not i'm no quitter mate i don't i'm not gonna give up on the lats. You're gonna rise to the challenge. I would quit, however. I am a quitter. I'll give it a bloody good go. I will not. I will think about it and analyze it, overanalyze it, talk myself out of it and play video games all day instead. I just wouldn't agree to do it in the first place. My mates did a thing where they went up Snowdon. They said it was a miserable experience, because I think it was raining and they weren't well

equipped. Yeah. But I would just say, i don't want to do that but if i turn up we're doing it yeah like that's it if i commit to do it i'm gonna do it if you're there but i'm just gonna say no if you've made it to the destination i'm just gonna make the wise decision that we should not do this straight out of the gate i'm just saying right let's not no we should i mean there's options isn't there like oftentimes i get up you know offered there's i don't know some of my friends are like oh we're going to stay we're going on holiday and we're gonna stay in a hostel i'm like i'm not fucking staying in a hostel are you kidding me i'm get get out of here right you

know i ain't staying in no fucking hostel take the ass out i'm not a teenager all right listen listen to this before we wrap up okay we'll end on a lighter note my six-year-old daughter comes home from school the other day and she says that she's a catholic okay we're not we're not religious at all by the way okay so let's like declare that you're a vegetarian okay we've got double teamed on this one so she comes home and she says i'm a catholic um because we said you can't do that she said i can't i can do that i can do it if i want to because i'm catholic and we said okay fine you're catholic whatever like we just you know you get to the end of your rope with this stuff

very quickly um so she's doing some arts and crafts or something and she was like holding the glue she was talking to my son and holding the glue but like the glue was tipping and we're like come on now like you're gonna get glue all over the place. And then she sort of. Catholics don't do that. She sort of adamantly turned around and she was like, no, I'm not going to. Okay. I have it under control.

And anyway, I can do that if I want to. And we said like, no, you can't. We don't want glue all over the table. You can't do that if you want to. And my son turned around and said said she can do anything she wants she has god on her side because of the catholic comment this is what this is what we're contending with god oh my fuck me man oh i love that oh that's so good i don't even do religious studies at their school as far as i know so i don't know where the fuck this is all coming from hey i'll tell you where it's come from mate some blooming some blooming catholic at the school

they're always out and about they're always looking i don't know i'm very suspicious of these these people religious you want to be a nun i'll tell you what i've had a friend at college when i was at college during my a level was there was a guy i was friends with we both were doing our a level together he was a good mate like we were hanging was at college, it was a guy I was friends with. We both were doing our A-level together. He was a good mate. We were hanging out a lot. We were talking a lot. He was a really good guy.

We really got along really well. And I overheard him. He wanted to be a nun. I overheard him having a conversation with another friend of his who I knew was a big-time Christian. I just really wanted him to be a nun involved. No, there were no nuns.

He was trying to convert me. He was like, I've almost got him. I was like, wait a minute. So I'm just your mate. Yeah, you're not supposed to say that to them tick me off i heard him i didn't say anything that was what he was saying to his mate that he was he's gonna save his soul get the fuck out of my private life you christian cunt i've got no time for you that's what that's what you should say to your daughter man god i regret not saying that now i realize that that's

an option yeah it was funny, though. It was very funny. That is really funny. We were laughing. I like it. I'm telling you, someone there is putting the cold hand of religion on them right now, trying to convert them. That's all they care about.

Their fucking docket with God is going to say, oh, yeah, that's one for you. Look well when you get to the pearly gates. They don't give a shit. They just want it for their personal advancement in the afterlife we got the we got the jehovah's witnesses over here too this is somehow a destination for them like uh we get the door-to-door jehovah's witnesses over here well you're very nice you know you're very nice they're not doing it to be your friend they're doing it because they're to getting in with god not just that they just want a free lunch lunch, man. They want to come in and sit at your table and eat your food and drink your tea and stuff as well.

Like, I've seen them operate. Wait, you invite them in? I don't. I know, like, of people who have, though. No, you don't. Yes, I do. They're too polite. People are too polite.

They just, they can't say no. Who the fuck is inviting these door-to-door soul salesmen in? I know. They're showing you a lie for their own benefit. How do you think they make so much fucking money man there's people out there that entertain them for sure like no way they do money yeah i guess so like i don't know what the fuck is wrong with people stop falling for the con folks stop yeah it's a con please stop it's been a con for 2 000 years dude and it's gonna be a con for 2,000 years, dude, and it's going to be a con for 2,000 years more. There's no way that people...

I think that what I've learned is that humanity doesn't really ever get smart enough to stop this stuff. The cons. Like, happening. To fall for these tricks, right? We fall for cons all the time. Oh, we do. No, but by the time we're old enough to stop falling from the cons,

it doesn't matter, because this- it's like- it's like evolution, right? We're always gonna- Are you calling evolution a con? No, I'm saying that because of- The way you turned out, I'd say it probably is. Lewis is like, actively evolving right now, like, you can just see the development happening, it's just- I'm too stupid, I'm saying that we're all too stupid for too long. Like, I was stupid when I was

When I was 15 and 25 and 35 And I will be when I'm 45 I'm 38 Holy crap man you're getting old Where did all that time go huh Jeez I'm gonna fall for cons and tricks You had the fucking turtleneck and the frosted tips

And everything it felt like yesterday And now look at you. I know. Fucking old and washed up, 38 years old. I'm a shell. Fuck. I'm like a- Old cunt.

Get off our podcast. I'm gonna go and become a fucking nun! Oh my god, man. I'm gonna become a Catholic. Oh my god. I've always wanted to live in a monastery. Well, you'll have God on your side at least. You know what my dad always used to say?

You know the way a lot of old people suddenly start going to church and stuff like that? My dad always said they're cramming for their finals. That's what he would say. Oh, yes. That's it. They're just trying to get there so that it's like, oh, when they die, they're hedging their bets just in case. Just in case there is a heaven and hell and they just want to be on the right side of it.

I'm saying if there is, God's going to know when I turn up. He's going to look at my soul and be like, look, I know you didn't believe in me. And you actively, in fact, spoke out against people that were trying to convince people of my existence. You are damned. You're an unbeliever. You know your personal hell is going to be flax and eternity of entertaining Jehovah's Witnesses in your fucking kitchen, man. You're going to have to make them sandwiches. Just having to talk about God and shit.

Then eating all of your goddamn food and drinking all your tea. It'll be like the tiger who came for tea, the children's book. But instead of a tiger, it's Jehovah's Witnesses. And they drink all the water out of the tap so you can't even have a bath. They drink all your beer. Drink all of dad's beer. Yeah, that's right. That's the bit that really yeah that's right they eat all

my ice buns and shit i'm just waiting for the fucking like to go up to heaven and it turns out it was fucking odin or do you know i mean or hindu vishnu's there and he's like guess you were born in the wrong fucking continent right down to hell with you off you go exactly it's bullshit the whole thing i'm going up i'm going up to heaven and i'm going to be smoking weed with Jimi Hendrix every fucking day, man. Man, if he's fucking- Imagine, he might be God, you know? You never fucking know. Elon Musk might be God.

Fuck me. We don't know. It could be bullshit. Can you imagine? I hope not. I hope not. Yeah, who knows? He froze his brain.

What if you get there- He went into the future, he made a simulation of where he's living in it. You get to heaven and everybody's talking about crypto? Can you imagine that? They're all just playing Axie Infinity. They're all making NFTs of God. Imagine you get to heaven and for an eternity, you have to work with Elon Musk to devise ways to rescue children from a submerged tunnel.

And accuse the other rescuers of being pedos. Yes. Can you fucking imagine? That would be a hell, wouldn't it? That would be quite something. children from a submerged tunnel and accuse uh the other rescuers of the impeders yes can you fucking imagine that would be a hell wouldn't it would be quite something i bet you assigned all the bellies or nonce or something whatever he said on fucking twitter so idiot regarding the axe infinity but the news story i had was that the hackers have broken in and stolen 620 million dollars and it's the biggest crypto theft ever um 600 620 million dollars Of course they are And it's the biggest Crypto theft ever 620 million dollars So on the day

That story broke Of course you have Because that's crypto Isn't it But what were the little Things they had to make You're going to get scabbed It's inevitable

What were the little Things they had to make They're little things Called axes They're like little Fucking blobs They're like little fish On the day that news broke

You have to breed them On the day that news broke Some guy who's got all these Is like You mean my axes Are worthless if only he'd come to this realization earlier yes a week yes they are worthless please stop please fuck me um so yeah that's that's that's the news listen there's there's there's two more bits of news actually one one relevant to us uh doc cotton passed away yeah and uh george costanza's mom in seinfeld also passed away they were both like 95 years old yeah they were both

pretty old wow she was still going holy crap yeah yeah in nft news by the way there's now a um asteroid mining um like startup nft can you believe it like this they've we've reached the fucking asteroid mining yeah wait how is that an nft well you sort of you you put a specific you you you buy these like exploration tokens what and this this oh i don't it's bullshit pflax of course it is um it's just it's just scams for people who want to get rich quick or feel like they're missing out on the oh if i could still get into nfts it's not too late uh no just it's all a lot of nothing fucking hell um don't do it i give up do not i give up i don't want to think about it no um just invest in dongers and hooters instead of getting on board getting on the ground

floor of dongers yeah we call them yeah in on the ground floor of dongers. We call them donks. The ground floor is where it is actually. Yeah, sticky though. And it's got a bit sticky. The floor is just plastered in cum. It's disgusting. Gross.

All right, that's enough. Thank you, everyone. We'll see you next week. Bye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.