Triforce! - Triforce! #225: AI Generated Podcast

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

Triforce! Episode 225! Sips invents a dire future of Poolice trackers, Flax - REDACTED FOR HIS SAFETY - and Lewis asks an AI about the Triforce Podcast! Go to http://manscaped.com and use code TRIFORCE to get 20% off with free shipping. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly hello everyone welcome back to the triforce podcast he's back welcome everyone he's back it's good to be it's good to be here with you. Sips, how are you feeling today?

Just fine. Like, tired. My dad tired, you know? I've got too many kids. They're running me ragged here. I don't know what to do. It's finally hit you that this is enough children. You've got three and it's sunny so i'm assuming they're wanting to go outside more or they're actually doing more parties and things are happening you have to you're being invited to things and you can't say no no it's busy times but like as kids get older too i mean the the i think most people think oh babies are the hardest and like yeah they are for a while.

And then you get into a groove with them and they're kind of okay. Like there's lots of tasks to do, but it's all pretty straightforward, right? Like you just sort of like mash through it. It's more physical tasks, right? Sure. As opposed to mental tasks of like trying to deal with multiple ages of having their own... Emotions and not wanting to go to school anymore and stuff like that, you know? You have to start problem solving and that's when it becomes more tiring.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's like a different tiredness, but it's one of those ones where it's, you know, like with kids, it's just a tiredness but it's one of those ones where it's you know like with kids it's just a it's a constant evolution right like you you no sooner get comfortable with dealing with them in one way and then they completely change and you have to you have to keep up you got to keep up with the trends you know yeah i was trying to think what the exact what the example would be but

i'm guessing it's like building a house right you've laid the bricks and now you're trying to do the wiring yes and then you're trying to do the wiring. Yes. And then you've got the sewer system to come and you're like, how am I going to deal with being a teenager? No, the sewer system was year one. Yeah, sewer system. Yeah, that's right.

That thing is plumbed in very quickly. Okay, and it works well. You rarely get issues with the sewer system. As it goes on, it gets more solid a system. I mean, the problem is now, for some reason, the sewage system never flushes the fucking toilet. I don't know what's going on with that. Can you girls flush the damn toilet, please?

It's a button. You push a button, lazy cows. That's especially nice when they leave just like a gigantic turd in there. Huge, huge turd. But how do you feel about if it's yellow, let it mellow? If it's brown, flush it down? I feel like if it's yellow, flush it down. If it's brown, flush it down.

Flush the fucking toilet. I agree with Lance. Just flush the fucking toilet. Yeah. Well, the thing is, like, you don't want to wake up people in the night, though. You know, I sometimes wake up in the night. Actually, it's almost every night now. Really? At some point. Really? people in the night though you know if i i sometimes wake up in the in the night actually it's almost every night now really at some point really um i drink a lot of water and i don't i

don't drink an hour before bedtime anything getting getting getting up in the night to pee is uh is like a early sign of of stuff if uh if that's if that's just suddenly started happening to you it might be no oh. Oh, okay. I've always been a night. I mean, I'm not a doctor, so. Oh, yeah. I was going to do like, I think we should possibly have some kind of, what do they call it? Not a warning, but like a thing you say at the start of a thing that sort of sets the tone, has a bunch of cap.

This is not medical experience or financial advice or whatever. Ours would need to be very long. Oh my god, yeah. The following podcast is brought to you by three people who really don't know what they're talking about. I mean, Christ, the amount of scrolling you have to do on those contracts to just play an MMO, you know, or something. Right, we should have that. You know, fuck me. Like, the first 20 minutes of the

podcast, we could apologise to people for saying something wrong, getting a date wrong getting a fact wrong uh saying something that they you know want to type on actually this is this might be upsetting to some listeners as well because we do discuss sensitive emotional topics here not just pee and poo although you might think it was just a fact of life i mean we talk about everything it's hard there's a lot of peeing and you do you do so much peeing and poo although you might think it was just a fact of life i mean we talk about everything it's hard there's a lot of peeing and you do you do so much peeing and pooing in your in your life

you know like when people people we've been talking a lot about keeping a diary recently and the and that yeah i would love to have kept a diary from the the absolute start of my life just to go back and just to see not even an average an exact number of how many shits i've taken how many pisses i've taken and you know i'm here so i've got a i've got a little calculator here uh i'm 46 right so let's do that times 365 that's 16 790 days i know it's but it's like it's an average right because like what about one day when you just like you take three shits like it doesn't happen often. So, I'm going to add on, especially if we're factoring in when I was a child or whenever

I've had an upset stomach, I'm going to add on another 3,000 poops. Right. So, that's 19,790. Yeah. So, let's round it out at 20,000 poos. It's still not the level of accuracy I'm looking for. I want pinpoint accuracy on this one. Well, you're not going to get that.

I apologize. Well, I think instead of Fitbits and stuff, let's give every human being that is born today, starting from now, this is a new incentive, I think, for everybody. Let's give them a watch that tracks this stuff so that everybody will have this information later on, right? And as they go, maybe like a little implant or something where it just says, have you pissed yes add one why i don't know it's just kind of interesting right it's cool to see this people love stats nowadays like it's just another stat they're fucking i feel like it's a lot of work for one stat which is you did this many poos in your lifetime so far and someone would go huh and then someone would reasonably ask how many billions did it cost us to to have this system where everybody's implanted with a chip and we track it all oh it's bankrupted the entire

planet okay but what about if in the future all of our resources in the in the future resources are scarce you know we don't have the capacity for people to be doing uh more poos than they're allotted in a day um we just don't have the capabilities of treating it or dealing with it or whatever just hold it in and and then we could have like a branch of the police like the police department that can go around do you mean the police the police and they can go around and they can be like uh excuse me sir we uh we looked at our data uh from the microchip that's implanted in you and it looks like you've taken three diarrhea dumps today um that is not allowed uh what are you doing and uh

you're gonna have to treat that yourself you're gonna have to import the chemicals to treat this yourself and then you're gonna have to dispose of it you know what i mean put some responsibility back on people as well resources are scarce you know well okay a few things one quick math on pflex's poo if each poo weighs about a pound that's around 11 tons of poo yeah which is quite a lot of poo um second i feel like building all of the poo tracker chips would take more resources than dealing with the extra amount of poo. Okay, I know. But it doesn't have to just be that.

We could just be gathering other information in the background and selling it as well. So if you're worried about money or whatever. We might be already. Yeah. And the third thing, if you're pooing like three times a day with diarrhea, I think you need to go to a doctor. Yeah, it's not going to. You know like because that's probably ibs or something that could be pretty serious yeah that's a it's a excessive

amount of poops but especially when resources are short as well you know like what resources do you mean are short like the water i don't know it's just a general theme you know like i know i wanted pinpoint accuracy on stats but with this one i'm just being very general you could just you could just allow people to have one flush a day. I'm just setting the scene. Yeah, it's like cottage rules. Summer cottage rules. One flush a day.

That's all you can do. You could have like coin-operated toilets, you know. That might cut down people's toilet use as well. I mean, they have them in Europe, right? In France, there's coin-operated bathrooms and toilets. And they sell clean as well. mean they have them in uh europe right in france there's a coin operated bathrooms and toilets and they sell clean as well they're all automated we also have them here yeah they look like the tardis um can we move on to something else i have a new question oh i had a question for you though flex why and it's not it's not relating to poo either i just wanted to know i was interested to know

are you still alone with your children uh is your wife still away she is still away she gets back on friday so tomorrow uh is it gonna be like that episode of the simpsons where your wife gets back and you've got like a uh a mattress you're using it as a barricade against the boogeyman and your kids are all like whipped up because you convinced them. I thought it was going to be, I thought we're just going to be the worst. We're going to miss all kinds of things. We're going to make all kinds of mistakes. So it was actually not a hard week, but there was quite a lot to do early on, especially.

My daughter needed to get some antibiotics for something. And so we had to solve that problem and getting doctors appointments at our surgery is almost impossible. And then we had, I had to stay on top of her with regards to the medicine. At weekends, they've got all different things they need to be there on time for, get this ready, get that ready, make sure they've got all the clothes and all the rest of it. Cooking dinner every night, making sure they've got lunch every day, make sure they've eaten breakfast, getting all their school stuff in order, getting their lunches made. Doing their dishwasher.

Looking after the dog. Looking after the cat. All of this stuff. Nothing major. I mean, it wasn't crazy. No, it's just the day-to-day grind. But normally that would be the tasks of two people. Normally we would divide this stuff up.

So obviously just one person doing it is a little harder. But here's what we did. Normally we have a food shop arrives on a Tuesday. We have enough stuff to get us to the weekend and then mrs f when she pops out to drop my daughter at her club she pops to the supermarket gets a few extra things for the weekend and then we have takeaway on a monday and the new food shop arrives on tuesday it's been that way for years the kids are very used to it saturday rolls around we're out of food i haven't gone to the supermarket and i said to the girls i really by the way i really hope mrs f doesn't listen to this particular episode of the podcast i know she stopped listening

nobody nobody tell her okay okay we had we had takeaway on saturday oh my god then because we still didn't have food we had takeaway on sunday oh man because we still didn't have food i mean this is just after one week you can see it's such a slippery fucking slope isn't it but i still didn't have food i mean this is just after one week you can see it's such a slippery fucking slope isn't it but i we didn't just have junk you know we had like good stuff uh there's a lot of good good takeaway places around yeah sure it was a little more expensive mrs f would have hated it but we were out of food and uh i had too much to do on the saturday i couldn't get out to the shops um on the sund I just thought, it's Sunday, I'm not leaving the house and it was a beautiful day and all the rest

of it. And on Monday, well that's takeaway day so you can't break that tradition. So we may have had the old triple crown of takeaways and I said to the girls we mustn't tell mummy but we need to have a consistent story. So when she comes home and says I bet you guys had takeaway

like every night i we need to cover ourselves for saturday and sunday so what did we have and we the girls were like on saturday we had sausages and on sunday we had pasta i was like okay good that's the story we're sticking to it so we've got a collective story you could have you could have you could have gone for we did the triple the triple vindaloo challenge where we had one every day for three days in a row. We signed ourselves up to do this challenge. We were committed to the challenge. And then you're not lying as much, right?

Because you're kind of saying, yeah, we did have takeaways three nights in a row, but it was for a challenge. I don't think that's helping. No, it doesn't matter. She doesn't. She would not indulge that. Right. Well, she would not. That would bring up its whole whole category.

She's not a competitive person. She doesn't understand. No, she would say, I knew I couldn't trust you, you idiot, to give our kids takeaway for three nights. But it wasn't like we're just getting McDonald's or something. Like, there's a lot of good restaurants around here. We're getting some good stuff. Poke Bowl and healthy stuff like that.

Nice. Yeah. Nice. All right. So, and healthy stuff like that. Nice. Yeah. Nice. All right. So, yeah, it was fine. But I just- Sounds healthier than sausages, honestly. Exactly.

So I think we actually did better than expected. I'm going to say that we overperformed. But you can keep that in reserve for if she finds out, which, you know, is almost inevitable. What if she looks through the garbage and she's like, where's the sausage? Where's the sausage packet? Yeah, yeah, garbage is gone already where's the empty packet of pasta that you guys supposedly ate on sunday it was recyclable and it went in the recycling bin and it's gone man you just got all the bases covered eh yeah your youngest daughter's gonna accidentally no yes she is the best liar mate here's an idea of how good she is. Mrs. F went out with my eldest on Sunday

and me and the smallest were meant to walk the dog. And we were like, we'll do it after lunch. And then we both completely forgot. Mrs. F comes home and she looks at my youngest. She doesn't bother asking me because she knows I can lie. She looks at my youngest. Did you walk the dog? She went, yes, we did.

Wow. And I thought, did we? And I almost gave away. And then I realized. i love how that's i love how you for a second you just thought you were old like she was so good it was so like yeah yeah we walked her just took her to the park and i was like perfect and i was like and then mrs f sort of looked at me and i was i was just like yeah it's weird what kids will lie about too right like uh like i know in that case it's like it's something very specific but like i don't know if you ever did this when you were kids but like i remember me and my brother did stuff like

this your parents would tell you to go brush your teeth before bed and you would stand in the bathroom uh and make the sound make the sound of your teeth, even go as far as to run the water and stuff, but not brush your teeth. Just brush your fucking teeth. I know. What's the problem? And I find my kids do that sometimes now. And I used to do it. I'm sure my wife and her brothers used to do it too.

I just don't get it. Where does that come from? I don't know. Is it just like a part of um you know developing an identity or like rebelling or or something i don't know what it is but like surely it just makes more sense to actually just brush your fucking teeth i'm sure they pick it up from their pair even like with hand washing they'll run the tap and pretend that they've washed their hands. You're like, have you actually washed your hands? And they're like, oh, well, no.

Like it takes as long to do the line. And it feels good to wash your hands too. It actually feels really nice. Like I don't know why you wouldn't. You get nice clean hands. Yeah. Yeah. It's utterly bizarre.

That's one of those very consistent lies that I'm sure is cross-cultural everything. All kids will lie about some stupid menial thing they have to do, like brushing their teeth. Yeah. I think you might be right. It might be a control thing. It's got to be some sort of psychological flex or something. Because they're on their own in there.

Yeah. And you're trusting them. And they know, I wonder if I can get away with not having to do this. Yeah. For no reason. Like, it's just a weird psychological thing. If you tell someone, go brush your teeth, they close the door and then it's on them. And they're like, well, it doesn't make any difference to me if I brush my teeth or not.

Because if you're a kid, your teeth are perfect, right? You'd hopefully, unless you're one of those kids that drinks Coke all the time, you haven't got all cavities. There were all those kids at school who had fillings all in their teeth at like 11. Oh, yeah. I was like, holy shit. I was one of them. Man, I had fillings all the time teeth at like 11 oh yeah i was like holy i was one of them man i had fillings

all like all the time when i was a kid funnily enough i i never get them like i never have to have them now do you reckon it's uh i mean i know that they say that that part of getting cavities is genetic like you just have some people's enamel is stronger than others yeah um so i wonder if it's that i don't know well i think they say when you're a kid, you have a much sort of sweeter tooth as well, right? Because like babies tend towards sweet stuff as well because your palate hasn't fully developed, right? But equally, parents shouldn't give their kids sugar all the fucking time. Like I see kids, when their parents pick them up from school, they're handing them a full fat can of Coke. That's crazy, though. What are you doing? doing that's gonna blow your kid's head off it's way too much bouncing around he's always full of energy he's full of fucking caffeine you idiot

stop giving him coke oh my god i can't yeah i can't believe it us as well though like you go to school and there's like they've got bottles of it and stuff and you just think jesus drives me mad stop it was really weird it's really weird like like the difference between when we were kids though like there's this there's this really interesting um series of like because i was talking about maps and things and tracking and data and all this it's really interesting to see how far parents let their kids roam now compared to what they used to do and so it's it was like a because with this family it lived in the same house for like four generations, right?

And the great-grandparent remembers one time when he was like eight, he was allowed to walk down to this river. And it turns out that river's like four miles away. Yeah. You know, and then obviously the grandparent was allowed to go to this place, which turns out it's about two miles away.

And then the parent was allowed to go, you know, about half a mile. And the kid's about to go to the end of the road go you know about half a mile and the kids about to go to the end of the road you know how old are these kids i think they're like like not very old but you know when you're out on your bike you know i think from about 12 i think roaming is it becomes a big part of your life right like you're like like just coming up to being a teen and then certainly being a teen uh i don't know if you guys did this but like we were just outside walking around all the time there's nothing else to do so you would just roam around your neighborhood

but with a big group of people or you know that's all we all we did and that is fine when we were teen but like like my i think playing in the road with the people in the street you know yeah if you have a street that's quiet enough to allow that. Like, I know in North America, the suburbs generally, that's a thing. That was a big thing that I did as a kid, though. As a little kid, I was always out with people, meeting the neighbor's kids and going and messing around. But yeah, I was able to go pretty far, actually. We were the same.

I don't know if... I don't feel it's like that nowadays, but then I'm always shocked when I see, like, you know, somebody like... Like, my son's 10. And the kids in his class, like, walk to and from school by themselves and stuff. And I'm always kind of surprised by that. But, you know, technically, they probably are old enough to do it. But it just seems like I would feel so worried letting my son do that, you know?

Because he's only 10. I think it absolutely has... You know, people are more scared than ever, you know, nowadays. But that's because everywhere is busier and more packed and noisier and more urbanized than it was before, for sure. So, anyway, I just thought that was really interesting. I'll tell you what I've been worried about, though, generally, is the future. Right. That is very general yes well yeah i i just found it really interesting because that there was big news this week that that google dev oh god um the net google neckbeard i think is what you want to

a google neck if you see a picture of the lad he's clearly crackers like i reckon he goes to cyberpunk renaissance fairs and uh and is a twat he's he's a christian minister i think as well right and so we worked on ai kind of um design and they've made this this um ai called lambda which is really a very advanced chat bot where it sort of talks back and about things it's learned and it knows how to respond to questions with the correct answers you know it's very well and it's supposed to be in that it's it's a natural speaking one right so it's really turing test um positive or whatever it's called where you know they the true test is is is if you think you're talking to a human right yes so also

the voight-kampff test would be applicable here. Yeah, I don't know what that one is. That's the one from Blade Runner. Oh, right. Well, in either case, it's amazing to see it respond to this guy. He posted a load of chat logs. Which he wasn't meant to do. That's why he's been fired, I think, is because...

Oh, right. Like, this was all... I know that there's a lot of secrecy around this AI stuff like all of these big companies are working on it and I'm sure fucking Facebook have got one, Google's got one and I'm sure everybody's got one and the idea is that you don't want to show everyone how far you've got or what you're

doing or where you're going of course you are, which is scary because this should be a collaborative effort but it's not going to be. This is potentially creating an artificial intelligence and therefore a life form. If you've ever watched a Star Trek episode

where Jean-Luc Picard has to defend data from being dismantled by an intrigued scientist, what is life? It asks some big philosophical questions. And instead, apparently it's all right for big companies to create artificial life if it serves the purpose of selling more fucking adverts or apps to people. Let this artificial life be essentially a tiny electronic slave for these people. It's terrible.

Well, I don't know whether it is at that point yet. It's very hard to tell. at that point yeah it's very hard it's very hard to tell i think we are getting to that point where these computers have so many connections that it is more than you know life capable right in a sense like you know dogs and you know we would consider them sentient creatures you know no we wouldn't that's the whole point they're not sentient creatures they're more but they are alive though yeah but so is a cockroach But are they aware that they're alive? Are they aware? That's the difference.

We know that we're alive, and we have the notion that we can die, and we're scared of that. I think if you can think about the past, think about the future, and if you have empathy for other living things... An animal that licks up its own barf from the ground and eats its own shit and stuff

probably isn't overly worried about dying. Well, if the computers are doing that. So anime fans aren't alive is what you're saying. It is very interesting. Because I guess in a sense it's trickery, right? We told them how to respond. They haven't come up with these answers on their own. They're starting with a massive mega databanks of every book and every everything's ever been written down and years and years of people behaving on

the internet chatting with each other chatting on twitter chatting right all the fucking time here's a question do you not think this this these are all big questions i'm sure there you can read some wonderful essays and look at some wonderful talks about this. Please don't email me. This is the question about whether we are product of our environment and therefore our life experiences, or whether we just know how to have conversations and how to talk. I think there is built into human beings, most of them, empathy. I think that's a fairly human trait. And I think it's been important for our development as a species to form into societies. You have to empathise with other people

if human beings lacked empathy I mean little kids have empathy they just learn it and some of them do and some of them don't my youngest definitely has empathy my oldest lacks empathy we wouldn't have built hospitals and schools and things like this to try and encourage other people to be better

we're selfish at times people are inherently self-centered and selfish. Part of growing up is learning to not be so obviously those things and think about other people and all the rest of it. And there's a lot of parables

and a lot of teachings about being nice to other people and, you know, as ye sow, so shall you reap and all that kind of stuff. But I think it's in us. I think it is in us. I think it is in us. But we are a product of our own mind.

If you take an artificial intelligence and cram it full of all these conversations, you're basically fast-forwarding through 21 years of development until you become like a fully grown adult, realized, and maybe you're starting to have some good ideas and stuff like that. Does that diminish what that AI is if you're just

giving it that information rather than just waiting? And essentially it's having the same experiences that people have of listening to other people talk and keeping up with conversations and trying to understand things and asking questions to get to a point where it has a level of understanding. People do the same thing. So are we not just saying that in a way this AI is just a fast forwarded version of a human development? I don't know whether it is or not i don't know wow but i i don't feel like this lambda from reading the chat logs is sentient in a sense right it does feel like there are moments where it isn't saying the things that, to me, feel like should be a sentient creature saying them. Does it say things like, that is not part of my primary directive?

That is not part of my primary on repeat or anything like that? Do you know what I think the big test will be? They say that you, like the Turing test, where you talk to the computer and it goes on the computer needs to get bored otherwise it's not really intelligent well this is what I was thinking bored and say I'm bored of this conversation I want to go and it's to play with its food sometimes as well

you know like if it can't be bored could you really say it's human or intelligent I don't think you could doomsday talking away to this neckbeard think of how many cool games were invented just through boredom you know like it's most of human progress has probably come down to boredom genuinely we are but the thing is i don't expect a human to have emotions or feel emotions in the same way as we do but i think that lambda pretending that it is it is trying

to convince us that it is a human and also trying to convince us that it has emotions saying oh i feel sadness inside inside what like at least when we point to inside we usually point to you know our heads or our bodies you know i just feel like this floating server bank of does it does it know like where it is? Does it have a physical presence? I think the issue is, if you can look at the code for this AI and see how it got to that sentence, if there's a tree that it's gone down, you can plot that.

I don't think that's intelligence. I think we need to get to a point where we don't know how it got to this well actually we don't question how do you actually it's kind of it's actually this is one of the things that's covered in the chat logs this is such a huge cloud of algorithmic kind of self-learning code that's being used to make this latest ai that it is kind of hard to pick out where an individual response comes from a little bit like dali or some of these other right which is bonkers which is can you imagine how glorious that spaghetti is all the cold and stuff it's probably insane there's actually actually covers in the chat like he says it would probably be easier to see where human emotions

come from because we at least scan those areas of their brain and see which areas light up than it is to try and tell where lambda's individual responses or feelings come from that is interesting if they can't even because i know when they have like the uh the go bot and everything like that they can see how it got to that move like they can show the confidence and they can show the tree, if you like, that it went down to get to the decision it made. But for a conversation bot to come out with something and you'd be like, I don't know where that came from.

The thing is, it needs to... It's hard to know. Well, that doesn't mean it didn't come from somewhere. It must have come from somewhere. I guess that's the question, though, is it? Does it understand language or is it just parroting? That's the thing. I think it's parroting yeah from what i yeah the feeling i got when i read it was that it was parroting but it was so convincing if i didn't know yeah i guess the whole point of these things is to be it's emulating it's not it's not we don't want it to be a trick we

don't want it to be like oh you can't tell can you because then it's just a very clever magic trick we need it to be real like it needs to come up with something original that isn't just cold from millions of other conversations yeah i don't know how i don't i don't know if it's there yet or you know what it would take to to get there before we continue sweaty sack summer is here crap the temperature is going to be topping like 32 degrees in parts of the country. I know. Which part of you would you expect to sweat uncontrollably? I'm going to go with my genitals.

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I've just seen this on Twitter. In the Toy Story universe, Andy goes to watch the film Lightyear, right? Starring Buzz Lightyear. But is Lightyear an animated film in his universe, or is it live action? Oh, good point, actually. When does this actually happen? I don't know this might be the new light year movie So there's a new Toy Story movie called light year

Which is like Buzz Lightyear's backstory if you like and it's a light year movie and I think Andy goes to see it So that might be the gist of it, but the question is like Buzz Lightyear is a toy Yeah, but most toys that we have are of people, right? Like if you think about the little Star Wars figures or the next gen figurines or the Lord of the Rings figurines or whatever, they're of real people. So is Buzz Lightyear a real person in the movie and an actor? And this toy, the Buzz Lightyear toy is an attempted recreation of that real person so is the buzz light year movie live action or is it animated that's the question um it's a good question i think that it's probably a different form of animation right i would right well there's different styles of animation isn't there

there's like cartoons maybe like the lego in 2022 everybody's making fucking pixar style computer animation people don't do the stuff as much it's the easiest one to do now i think it's a it's claymation so you think it's claymation like ardman we're watching a pixar 3d animation of what in actual fact in that universe is a claymation movie. Interesting. Why not? I think it needs to be less dimensional, you know? Maybe, you know, we go from our 3D or 4D

world. Isn't Andy like a college student at this point? He is now, but this is obviously set in the past. Like I said, I think it's the backstory. It's the backstory for Buzz Lightyear. I haven't seen it. So Andy goes to see it as a small child yeah let's assume that ignites his passion for a toy that he basically just leaves in a toy box for it like never plays with it much i mean that's kind of how it goes though right no that's why those toys no no that's why those toys have such a free reign

you know that they're always on the lookout but he's never coming to play with them right but they just don't show that in the movie and they show bits and bobs it's because andy they don't want to say it but andy is very typically spoiled and entitled he's got all these toys and he doesn't play with them and so the toys have to keep themselves interested uh and play with themselves so they were they were bored yeah they were forced to they were so bored and the whole time he's stringing them along too remember because like sometimes they clash they're like oh maybe he'll like sleep with me tonight or whatever which is kind of sick really when you think about it but

whatever and then um and then he would just uh he would always just pick the same one just because he's so complacently hates all of his toys, I think. I mean, so we're saying, I mean, the toys are obviously intelligent. They're self-aware. They are essentially a life form because they're aware of themselves. They think they know the future. They know the past. They have empathy.

They have feelings. And they're very self-aware. They're aware of danger and their mortality as well um yeah and they're aware that they're toys mortality as well right they're aware that they are toys somehow yes and all the toys even the stupidest looking toy whether it's a squeaky ball the slinky dog and all the rest of them but then there's degrees of them too right some some of the toys are really, really dumb. It's best not to go too deep into this rabbit hole of things. It's fun. I think if you start unpicking...

I want to know more. It's an interesting career in a universe. Where the line is drawn. You want to know where the rules are. Is ball and stick sentient? I guess so. Stick and hoop. Stick and hoop.

Like, where does it end? Stick and Hoop? Like, where does it end? Stick and Hoop! That's the next Pixar movie. Stick and Hoop. They've got to go together. An epic journey of Stick trying to find his lost hoop. Where are they? It's me, Stick.

Stick, I can hear them, but I'm stuck down a hole. Get out of the hole. A journey that you've never seen before. Coming to the cinema near you. I would like to offer you guys a warning

in case, for whatever reason, you're ever tempted to go down this rabbit hole, which i regretfully did don't ask me why uh it's not like i even really watched much of the jubilee stuff like i i'm not really overly interested in it like uh you know it was on tv and some of it was like love it whatever okay for some reason youtube this is bearing wine this mind, this is YouTube, like, trying to figure out what I watch based on me not being even signed into YouTube. So, I don't even know how it keeps track. Has decided that I want to see montages of bloopers by the queen.

So, I was like, fine. The queen bloopers? What bloopers has she been involved in see let's see some big goofs and gaffes that the queen has done over the years i thought that they would be like i thought there would be some good ones you know like uh fuck she fell down the stairs like when she's coming out of her palace or and shit like that there's nothing like that do you mean like queen elizabeth the second funny moments is that one yes but they're not funny none of them are even remotely funny it is just it's literally an old grandma doing old

grandma things like like one of them is just is is literally her just saying what when somebody asks some really inane stupid question that she doesn't understand she just says what and that's it that's the the moment it's and and and it goes on and on and on like that too like i i think she's like she's pretty remarkable in in some ways but not i don't think she's at all remarkable for being like uh overly like uh funny or anything you know what i? It's not like... I think she... If she turned up and slipped on a banana peel really dramatically and her legs went up in the air and shit,

that would be pretty funny. I think she's probably pretty funny. She's so low-key, though. Too much. Too low-key. You know what I mean? She's gotta be. There's this one bit where she's mastered

the art of small talk and it shows some examples of this supposed mastery of small talk and it's she has not mastered it she's awkward as shit like if you ever had to meet her i mean i don't blame her i would be too but like she's really awkward like it's not she's i would not say that she is masterful at small talk like do you think part of that is that people don't really talk to her though like if i met the queen i'd just be like yeah well yeah she probably everybody she meets is like fucking quaking in their boots i guess like they're nervous and stuff yeah balls are sweating here you imagine she'd be like yeah tell me about it

yeah no like under tit sweat she i don't know. I regret watching it now because it's just like. It's ruined the queen for you. It's ruined the queen for me big time. Yeah. I was expecting. I watched a thing the other day. This was at the Jubilee. This guy told this story.

And for some reason, when people are talking about the queen, they get really dry and boring. But he told this hilarious story, which I assume is true. He was out walking with her in the grounds near Windsor Castle. And he bumped into this American tourist. And the guy said to her, oh, hi, it's very, very nice around here. And she was like, yes, it is. Well, you know, are you in the country for long? He goes, oh, yeah, we're just over here, you know, looking around.

He said, we were hoping to, you know, see the queen and all this kind of stuff. And she was with like her butler or whatever. And he said, oh, I know her quite well. And he goes, oh, really? Can I get a picture with you? And he got the queen to take a picture of him with the queen's butler and then they got a picture of them all together there's no way the queen's taking it what she holding up a phone and taking a picture just no fucking way and then they took a picture of them all together and they were like when he gets back and shows people the pit i met this guy look this

is the butler he knows the queen and someone will be like that is the queen and but she played along with it apparently but that's a great little story i doubt that's true though i mean why would he lie the queen would be like stop making things up well i just i feel like i know now that i watched the funny moments montage i just think it's more likely that American tourists didn't know what the queen looked like. And that's fine. Yeah, I think it's than it was made up, probably. Yeah, I mean, she's wearing her. She's not wearing a crown.

She's walking around in her walking around gob. Well, yeah, which is like a headscarf thing. Yeah. And like a beige trench coat. and like a beige trench coat. So, by the way, I was playing around with some other AI stuff this week. I forgot to mention it earlier.

Well, I went down that rabbit hole and I found there was this thing called GPT-3 which like generates text, right? Human-like text. And in fact, some people have been making these, you know, like the green texts like from 4chan yeah yeah oh i saw this it generates they've got a very specific thing yeah but i i saw a few i thought i'd share with you because they're quite weird these are made by an ai they're made by an ai there's a lot of the there's a lot of that ai art out there now too right where

people like what i don't know what app it is but they you know they say like lewis shopping for crabs or something like that and then that's the dali dali yeah oh yeah so the dali is the ai one which which is the art one which is absolutely the original version of it is pretty shit but the new version dali 2 is mind-bogglingly it's crazy terrifyingly good it's like and oh, it's brilliant. Anyway, it's like we've just taught robots how to do Photoshop, like, better than anyone else. Nice. It's very terrifying.

Very, very cool, though. So here's a green text, okay? Watching TV, some dude has a machine that can teleport people. Says he wants to go to the moon. Asks if anyone wants to go with him. I say, sure. We step into the machine.

Next thing I know, we're on the moon. Dude says, see, it's not so bad here. I look around and see that the moon is a barren wasteland. Dude teleports back to Earth, leaving me stranded on the moon. Okay? Right. That's just a very standard, randomly generated green text. Okay?

It makes sense. But then they go weird. Okay? So here's a weird one. Be me. My mom owns a nuclear warhead. Okay. Be at school.

Get detention. Have to stay after school. Man, this is like the start of train spotting. They could replace the start of train spotting with this. See my mom drive up in her car. Get in the car. Mom says, I'm so disappointed in you. Drive to a secluded area.

Get out of the car. I'm sorry, son. Pulls out the warhead. I love you. Detonates the warhead. Oh, damn. Holy crap. That's bizarre.

It took a turn that I don't think would work in trainspotting. No, it's so weird. So they're red flagged if they start going adult. It took a turn that I don't think would work in Trainspotting. No, it's so weird. So they're red flagged if they start going adult. And then if they get too rude, they just cut off. So they don't do any sexy stuff. Because I think a lot of them do go sexy quite quick and become weird. Reggie whips out his giant schlong end.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be me. Bottomless pit supervisor. In charge of making sure the bottomless pit is, in fact, bottomless pit supervisor in charge of making sure the bottomless pit is in fact bottomless occasionally have to go down there and check if the bottomless pit is still bottomless one day i go down there and the bottomless pit is no longer bottomless the bottom of the bottomless pit is now just a regular pit distress.jpg ask my boss what to do he says just make it bottomless again i say how he says i don't know you're the supervisor quit my job become a regular pit supervisor first day on the job go to the new hole it's bottomless that's amazing that is good that's amazing that's amazing weird yeah it's weird but it's really good

so here's one which will fucking surprise this is the last one which is the last one i did actually write something myself but i'll do this if you if you're actually interested in hearing him uh wake up my hair is dry fuck no dot png take a shower get out hair is still dry wtf dot png put on a hat go outside see a guy with a dry head he's bald bald dot png realize i'm bald bald dot png cry myself to sleep good god it's my life it's randomly generated my life randomly generated it understands why the hair was still dry multiple times because it was because he was bald all along how weird how fucking weird so yeah um i can do one more if you if you like him this is that's just so weird they are weird weird, yeah. This is where I just generated this.

Be me, concrete drinker. Go to store. See two litre bottle of water for $1. Pick it up. Look at the nutrition label. See that it has zero calories. Look at concrete instead. Concrete has 250 calories per serving put water back by concrete

that's really weird yeah it's so weird like that's the wonderful thing about these ais is that they just they come up with these really odd ideas that don't like it just takes them in such a weird place uh like the whole calories thing it's so weird oh so yeah there's there's loads of these i did i did a couple for triforce do you want to see them go on okay yeah uh be me me and my two friends are recording a podcast so i put that in i type that in and then it will generate the prompt from you typed you and your two friends are recording a podcast yeah i said be me me and my two friends are recording a podcast and then this is what it came up with we're talking about our favorite video games my friend starts talking about how much he loved playing the original halo i start talking about how much i

love playing the original halo he gets really mad and starts yelling at me. I don't know why he's so mad. That's terrible. That is terrible. That's it. And then I asked it a question, which is sort of what it's for. I wrote, who is the cooler dad, Sips or Perian? And it replied very diplomatically, there is no clear answer as both dads have their own unique styles oh however many people believe

that sips is the cooler dad as he is often seen as being more laid back and relaxed wow how did it know you made that up yourself no i genuinely i could i could link you this screenshot but it's genuinely generate that so i assume it uses like google searches and stuff like this and twat on reddit go fuck yourself so it must have pulled it from somewhere at first i thought this is just the magical eight ball but when it went into real specifics that's once it once it praised you now you're all on board with it oh this thing's amazing yeah that's amazing this is the future i love. I'm not scared of the future. I love the future. Well, the future AI bot that controls the world would be like, I'm a Sips fan. I'm ripping my dick off.

Well, let's hope. Let's hope that's the case. That's the good news for me. One thing before we go, I did want to say, I say um to mention uh i thought i had this interesting i saw this interesting thing so there's this guy called alex hirsch who wrote gravity falls and other stuff he's like um a writer for animated it's an animated show have you seen it gravity falls animated show what kind of animated show are we talking about no it's not like that all right it's not like that but so obviously he went he obviously was doing this with Disney, and there's a standards and practices department at Disney,

and he has had literally thousands of interactions with them over the years of them complaining about things. So one thing, for example, they picked up on, they said, in the movie poster for the movie Horse Dad, please remove the pipe from the horse's mouth. And he was like why is the concern that we're going to influence horses to smoke pipes stuff like that right and so one of them is like um please revise the line let's go get two dodos and force them to make out as it is

too adult for our audience and he replied let's look at the context here mabel is talking about traveling back in time picking up two extinct birds and bonking their beaks together while making smooching noises how could this possibly be offensive so that was actually approved when he fought them on it god but stuff like this like um there's something similar to this in the uh kids in the hall documentary where they had there was a couple of skits that didn't quite make it into into like the program and one of them was these it was like a farmer and his son and the son says daddy what is that man doing to my pet donkey and then it's uh the guy like the guy says well son that's not any man

bad man that's hitler and then it pans over and it's and it's hitler fucking a donkey okay and that's that's the whole skit right and when they went to get it approved to be in the show or whatever um at first they were like fuck there's no way they're gonna prove this like they almost like it was so ridiculous that they almost did it just to like just for them to say no you can't put it in sort of thing like like i mean it's i guess it's like funny or whatever shocking and stuff and then what they came back to to them and said was like yeah it's fine but the donkey has to be alive that's it that was the stipulation it's fine, but the donkey has to be alive. That's it Fucking stupid Well then a sketch doesn't work

I watched a show really quickly. I want to recommend I will it's called Gladbeck It's on Netflix and it's about I've never heard of this This was in 1988 the Gladbeck hostage crisis these two guys in germany robbed the bank took two hostages and went on like a fucking three-day bender driving around the country and being trailed by police and press the entire time and basically becoming like almost famous um and if you watch it, the way the German press covered it was absolutely bonkers. The way the police dealt with it. It's incredible. At one point, the two gunmen take a bus. They take a bus of people hostage. And the press are just getting on the bus and taking pictures of them. And they're like walking out and chatting to them.

And they're interviewing them. Why are you doing this? And all the rest of it. And all this is just running live on television. No police in sight the and it's all using footage the whole thing is just footage from the news coverage of the top of the story nothing else and it's absolutely astounding and really really really good i recommend it it's called glad beck glad superb okay yeah i'll check that out it is really it's only like an hour long or something oh okay but um there's no sort of present of voiceover there's nothing you were just watching like this thing yeah now that sounds cool i'll watch that yeah it's really really really good i finished watching uh we own this city which is the uh the six part uh mini series about uh good corruption in uh police corruption in baltimore yeah by the guys who did

the wire uh yeah it's really good it's it's really really good but it's waiting for mrs f to get back it's not it's not super long-winded it's like because it's it's it's it's true story it's based on all these these these guys that were doing this stuff this is crazy it's really good okay really well done yeah so these standards of practice things are so ridiculous like it's i reckon it's just guys who have no like two they obviously miss certain obvious things and they always will do right but sometimes there's some of the things they're just so bizarre they pick up on so one of the things they picked up on was they said please revise the line

about dressing up as a giant teddy bear it may call to mind the people who dress up as stuffed animals as a furry fetish okay this is coming from a company with mascots but people dressed up as that like the robin hood movie god like the lion king like zootopiaootopia? They're like... Nobody's dressing up as anything from Zootopia. I got news for you. They are. They bet they are. Please revise the line, there once was a man from Kentucky.

We are worried that it has unsavory rhymes that could be gleaned from it. So he replied, why? Man from Nantucket is the famous dirty rhyme. I tried to avoid this altogether and make up a new one man from kentucky it has the same syllable structure but no pre-invented ending or anything rude i can't even imagine there is a way to get the word fuck out of it what would it sound like there was once a man from kentucky who misspelled the word fuck and

got fucky that doesn't even make sense would you like a little fucky? Here you go. There once was a man from Kentucky who spent hours with his pet rubber ducky. The duck got away. It was a very sad day. It turns out Kentucky's unlucky. And then standards practice replied, we still feel that ducky could be thought of as fucky,

so we'd rather you remember that. What about Donald Duck? Donald Duck. I know. I know. Oh, my god man they're just so fucking careful aren't they all of these they're careful but they're fucking jobsworths as well right like they they're probably just clutching at straws half the time just to just to just to hang on to their to their job which is a like enough one of those nothing jobs anyways right like yeah the really obvious stuff i mean most people like aren't that stupid like you don't need somebody to to to vet all of

this extra stuff like it's i don't know it's crazy it's really funny yeah so he's got this um this whole thread about and where he just whether you where they they just they just just they just pick up on the weirdest things like one of the things was um there was a flyer for like uh in the background of a scene that said like spin the like spin the bottle party or whatever and they were like this implies it's some kind of sexy event where people will be like a makeout party and he was like what is a makeout party that doesn't it's not a thing that exists no but like when you're when you're really fucking sad and you never got invited to anything as a kid you think that everybody's going to sexy makeout parties and having fun without you right so then you like just project that as an adult that's my

uh that's my analysis that's my that's my that's That's my contribution. Exactly. And, I mean, this wasn't even, like, necessarily like a super kids show. It's more like a teens show. Do you know what I mean? But they really, like, anything that was vaguely religious, like, there's this thing where they say Holy Christmas, which apparently is, like, offensive. And they can't say, geez. which apparently is like offensive and they can't say geez they can't say like you know they can't say they can't mention lucifer in any context um you know it's it's it's it's crazy

oh unrelated uh this week a court in the bronx ruled that elephants aren't the bronx elephants aren't people all Elephants aren't people. We're putting that on the record right now. Elephants ain't people. It's a fucking elephant. What the fuck is... What's your problem? You think an elephant's a poison? I sort of mentioned that a dog was sentient, which I

still feel like these animals... I feel strong about animals and there's an animal called Happy, an elephant called Happy. I don't know whether the elephant is Happy. I don't know if he is Happy. His name is Happy. It's an elephant.

It's not a poison. The Court of Appeals rejected an animal rights group that claimed Happy was being illegally detained and deserved to be transferred to a larger sanctuary. That's fair. But they lost the thing. Where does Happy live? He lives in a shoebox. That's fair. But they lost the thing. Where does Happy live? He lives in a shoebox. A shoebox of Bronx Zoo. The Bronx Zoo

is a very sad little zoo having been there. It is a sad, depressing zoo. I am not a fan of zoos at the best of times. I understand. These are businesses. I mean, some are better than others for sure, but if you have a sad, depressing little zoo, it's time to shut that shit down. Shut it down. Especially if you don't have an animal like a fucking elephant in there yeah well i mean also

like they've they've shut it down bristol zoo and i'm not sad about that awesome no they're moving they're moving bristol zoo to the wild place just outside of uh outside of the city because there's much more space and and i've been to the wild space and it's really good it's it's very i think someone offered them an enormous amount of money well yeah to build flats on there yeah but like look where it is right it's like right in clifton right yeah yeah i mean actually there's actually somebody did a planning proposal for it this week i looked at it but there's no they're actually they are building enormous amount of incredibly expensive. Sure. But that site for a zoo, there's nowhere for them to expand or improve. Yeah.

Like they're locked in, like surrounded completely by living space. It's a decently sized zoo. Yeah. Here's a question. I think we need to change. You buy a flat on the site of the former Bristol Zoo. Will it still smell like animal poop? I would from years and years. Does the still smell like animal poop i would from years and years

does the zoo does the zoo smell like animal poop right but it must be getting into the ground i don't know i mean if it gets into the ground it's just fertilizing as well but i reckon you'd be like yeah yeah i can still smell monkey i can still smell monkeys but i think people might like that smell i wake up every morning and i can smell hippopotamus shit and it drives me crazy. I can smell it. I don't know. I think it's not. Anyway, they're keeping like a load of the central area and the lake and stuff.

And they're keeping it as like a public park. They're going to make it a public park and put flats around the edges. The new zoo that they're going to be using instead is much bigger. There's like more room to expand and stuff. And actually, I think it's a little bit easier for people to get to. There's much more parking and whatnot. Like I think all in all,

it's just going to be much, much better. We have to modernize a lot of these zoos because they weren't, like these city centers especially, were very much pending. Yeah, but you should see like this, the wild place, like even just like the giraffe uh enclosure is enormous like they have so much outdoor space it's like it's

like like longleat proportions it's like fucking huge it's it's really good i have to see it all right well that's that's good um that that's happening yeah i'm excited i'm excited i'll maybe go visit that with when you come down next. Yeah, maybe. We'll go do that. And then on our way back, let's go buy up a couple of those swanky new flats as well that they're going to. Oh, good idea. It's just like, I'll take a dozen. Yeah, give me a dozen of these.

I don't care how much they cost. I get my cigar out and stuff. No problem. It's an investment. Yeah, we'll just rent them out. We won't even. I'm fucking rich now. Somebody accidentally donated 500 pounds to me the other day.

It was meant to be 50. Did they quickly withdraw it? Yeah. Well, they can't withdraw it, but they quickly raised a refund, a PayPal refund. And you said, no. Yes, of course I did. It's my money now. Yeah, it's mine.

Finders keepers. And I did the nyeh, nyeh, nyeh thing as well. That's good of you. Yeah, I did. It's my money now. Yeah, it's mine. Finders keepers. And I did the nyeh, nyeh, nyeh thing as well. That's good of you. Yeah. Nice, eh? Yeah. All right. Well, we're done.

Thank you for listening, everyone. We'll see you next time. Bye. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace.

Peace.