Triforce! - Triforce! #226: How well do you know your Triforce?

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

Triforce! Episode 226! We're discussing the ridiculous cost of a child, a more realistic Bond movie, Lewis gets controversial and we test our Triforce knowledge with the Triforce Quiz!! Visit http://joinhoney.com/TRIFORCE to get Honey for free. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Go all in on fun with DraftKings Casino. Head to the App Store to download. Explore a full suite of games and find your favorites today. DraftKings Casino, the crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario. 1-866-531-2600. Hello, everyone. Hello everyone, welcome back to the Triforce podcast. That's right, I've had a week's holiday. I've been in the sun, I'm all chipper. He's got Pep in his step.

He's all loose and fancy free. Where'd you go? I went to a Greek island, I went to Corfu. Fuck off. It was very, there was lots of gammon men there. Oh, fuck you. Let me guess. Did you sleep in every day? It didn't rain. I slept in.

Do you do any water sports? I went to water parks. Fuck you, man. Come on. Why are you trying to ruin this podcast with your happiness? Oh, sips. With his criticism. Fucking sorry, old lumbago stricken flat when i when i found out what it is it just says lower back pain i've had lower back pain for a

week so i would say i am really lumbagoed up yeah lumbago is such a fucking old-timey prospector disease like the american west consumption and lumbago good old lumbago if i went to a fucking doctor and he told me i'd had i had lumbago i'd be like what fucking year is this man is that whereabouts did you stay in corfu city like the main bit no we went there for a couple days uh corfu town which is i was with a whole group of people um oh were you on like one of those 1830s holidays but you were like no they let you in because you were you were older and they were like you can come in young old man is that like a bit of a sweat like a like i almost said swexy

but i actually meant to say sexy swingers holiday is that where you were on it was the opposite of that i imagine you wearing a sleeveless turtleneck to one of those wait it was the opposite shirt mostly it was the opposite of a swingers party so the opposite of that would be an incel or vol cell like a d like me and my D&D group decided to take our campaign on the road. We went to Corfu to finish up the campaign that we were working on. Is it like that? It was just a group of friends, my partner's friends, and they know a place that's good. They've been there and stayed there for a while.

So we just sort of invited everyone we know and random, ended up with a random group of people. It's quite pretty, isn't it't it corfu it is quite pretty i think all the greek islands are you know it sort of reminded me of going there as a kid you know i think i went there when i was younger they say like certain things like ring a bell like thank you is f caristo and for some reason that's that's like that's not what i was expecting because everywhere else it's like some variation of grazi isn't it i know it's callous spara and callous smera or something yeah it's like that means good day did you bust out the uh no i didn't you should have you should have i wasn't on my radar i mean all of greece looks a bit run run down it is a poor country, man. It's a very paint peeling kind of place.

And not exactly like, some places are beautifully tended to and looked after, but there's a lot of stuff that's kind of, I don't know, abandoned or didn't pay off. And I get the impression that the whole place is run under the table on like money, cash money. Do you know what I mean? Like everything we paid for was cash and they gave us reductions in cash and i could just tell that that money is like a barter economy there too can you can you haggle uh not really no but they don't really require big tips either um we were tipping and they were sort of very grateful about it and sort of you know over

over the top reactions to or unexpected i guess it's the the the gammon ritz you go on holiday there every year i think it's one of these islands that's pretty small i think it's got like 100k people on it max and you know as a result you know the when during tourist season it triples or quadruples in population you know and on the off season it's just deserted uh because because it feels like everything is built for tourists like there's these places that are in the middle of nowhere kind of down dirt tracks and it's like three hotels and a supermarket and you're like this supermarket is only for the tourists right uh it cannot possibly operate did it have all your favorites in there did you go did you do like that peter cave bit where it's

like you're on vacation and you you just seek out things from home they got cadbury's fingers here oh my god you wouldn't believe it it was nuts so there was this we went to this beach that was it's basically like an hour and a half away from the town it's about as far away from town as you can possibly get to and they had this supermarket there that had just more selection of like vegany stuff and like stuff i could eat than anywhere in bristol and it had stuff i recognized like yeah like just all the stuff from home it was like how have you got a better selection of stuff than the tesco around the corner i can't believe they do halloumi here it's crazy shit that was it was really nice to be in the sunshine holy shit like um come back here and getting getting rained on for a few

days it's been like a wake-up call did you remember we went there this was me and mrs f's first holiday that we took just us was going to corfu and it was super cheap we went with like it was like a package thing it was dead cheap cheap flights cheap accommodation thomas cook yeah like that kind of shit exactly like it was that level so me and my partner this whole holiday we spent about one and a half grand all in for both of us for the accommodation flights and view and for a full week of spends and everything yeah like we ate out like all the time i mean even with like the european week it was just like the flights were cheap the fucking place was cheap everything was just it was like it was like the cheapest

fucking holiday i've had in so long. I couldn't believe it. Well, imagine what it cost in 2002 or whenever we went. It was like a super long time ago. But it was nice. The one thing is the Greece is a very, as anyone that's played Hearts of Iron will know, it's very hilly. Yes.

Mountainous. Very difficult to assault. Hard to get troops around in and hard to assault. But easy to defend. But anyway, we took a coach trip and you took a coach trip up these roads that are clearly not built for a full-sized coach but the coach drivers manage anyway and we went up to the top and there's this view where you look out and it's just a series of inlets with a mountain sort of at each one it's

like it looks like very tolkien sort of, you know, fantasy landscape of all these little coves and all these peaks. And it's just beautiful green. The water is that crystal blue that it is around there. It was amazing. But then you kind of thought, geez, it took like an hour and a half to get up here. And now we're going to get all the way back down.

Like I just wanted like a big slide or something because the coach driving was genuinely terrifying. The coach driver, where he sits is the wheels are under him. And there's a whole front of the coach that just sticks out over the edge. So if you're sitting, we were sat near the front foolishly. And every time he comes to a corner, it looks like the coach is driving off into space. And then you're turning because he knows where the wheels are. It was so scary.

I've done so many of those trips as well. When I was a kid. It felt like every time you went to France or anywhere like that and drove around the Alps, you'd fucking be, any second you'd be like plummeting to your doom. It really did feel like they were just driving in space, didn't it? Yeah. So nuts. The joke that the tour guide, while the coach driver's plugging away,

big Greek lad, you know, he looked like he knew what he was doing for sure. She told this joke that at the gates to heaven, there's like a queue to get in based on who's done the most and there's like senior bishop is there and there's this priest that's there and there's like a rabbi is there and all these senior people so uh peter's like all right let this guy in first this guy just his regular guy walks just like why is he allowed in here he hasn't uh generated more prayers and more faith than we have and they're like he's a greek coach driver and they're like oh after you they sort of let him on that was the joke i guess it's not just him it's all of his passages are also exactly that's all the prayers that you're generating is like every time he takes the

coach out people are genuflecting and all the rest of it he's like artific artificial inflated his prayer allocation. Very gentle holiday joke by our tour guide. People were like, like that level of chuckle. Yeah, that's a good, I feel like that's a decent chuckle to have when you're on vacation, right? You want things to be lighthearted, you know? Exactly. No taxing jokes, please. No, God. You don't want to have to think too hard about anything when you're having your vacay in corfu or or wherever you know you want to take it it was great easy yeah

we did the uh we did all the recommended shit like rented a boat and drove around the island oh fuck off and um it was like landed on some little islands and and it was it was stupid and fun and like just it was very light-hearted i got burned to shit obviously well yeah um even like slathering myself in fucking factor 50 you gotta you gotta reapply a couple of times yeah you can't just do it once that's a miss that's a common mistake people make so one one coating is not enough like every couple of every like sort of like five hours or something you need to reapply apparently i'm just also really lazy applying it because my knees got really burned and my yeah my you really are like a child you need someone there to fucking put the sun cream on you make sure it's on your you gotta get your knees to on my knees not my knees it feels weird that's you

kids when they think they know everything you're like yeah just you wait buckaroo you you don't even know how to put sun cream on one day you're gonna be fucked so hard and you're just gonna turn around you'll be like why didn't i just listen to my parents yeah exactly they were trying to tell me yeah i know before you realize you know and then on my side i'm like i feel i'm like a record. I say the same shit all the time. Oh, my God. Nobody listens to me. And then they turn around and they're like, how did this happen? I was like, yeah, how did it fucking happen? I told you about a million times.

You know what? We've got a system. I don't know if you guys have this. You have an allowance, like pocket money for your kids, right? We're not at that stage just yet. So we're firmly at that stage where they get pocket money for doing annoying chores around the house and stuff like that. And they can earn money by doing extra things to help out.

And we've started levying fines on their earnings. Holy shit. And they were appalled. They're going to be joining the fucking r slash anti-work subreddit in no time. They can do that. I'd like to see how they get money to buy all the stupid shit they want to buy if they don't flush the fucking toilet and not leave their socks on the fucking floor so the dog eats them.

So what are these fives? Do you have a sheet of them? Is it just arbitrary? We keep track of it. So, you know, at the end of the week uh their pocket money is deducted based on their fines and they were like this is unbelievable it's like look i've been telling you guys for literally 10 years to flush the toilet to not leave needles on the ground from when you've been sewing and a needle falls on the ground they're just like nothing can

be done about that so like dumb shit like that and a needle falls on the ground. They're just like, ah, nothing can be done about that. So like dumb shit like that, like a fucking needle on the ground. And like pens with the lid off just on the sofa. Like, what do you think is going to happen? Pencils on the sofa, just lying there. You go to sit down, you sit on a fucking pencil. Or, which is more likely, the dog eats the pencil, which has been happening a lot. Just ridiculous.

Taking their hoodies off, just throwing them on the floor, like near the dog bowl. I'm like, what are you doing? Fucking hang hang that up and they're just like so it's like all right we'll start finding you and now they fucking now they're like oh i think i smell a fine and they're like we're not uh we're not there with the currency yet but our the currency we use is uh my my both really like screen time, right? Like my son wants to play games. My daughter wants to watch like these Disney cartoon things on YouTube and stuff. Of course.

And so we limit it quite a bit because we don't want them just like plugged in all the time sort of thing. So when there's a sniff of a chance to get on these things that's when we we get them to do all the chores because like oh can i can i play my game for a bit like yeah you can but you got to do this first and then while they're in the middle of doing that one thing and like the efficiency is unbelievable like if you ask them any other time holy crap they're dragging their feet like it's taking hours to just do like a simple task or whatever but when it when it's something they want to do and it's on their time holy crap, they're dragging their feet like it's taken hours to just do like a simple task or whatever. But when it's something they want to do and it's on their time, holy crap, they motor. So that's when we just stack everything up.

It's like, okay, yeah, go clean the lounge. And then as they're like nearing the end thinking, oh shit, I'm almost done this task. I can get on to my game or whatever. It's like, all right, go clean your room now. You just like keep piling it on. Take that energy and use it. That's it. That's it.

It works pretty well, actually. So, we just get these bursts of like productivity every once in a while, which is great. You've both got kind of interesting takes on the workforce, you know, there. One is this kind of like idea of money as the incentive and fines, you know there one is this kind of like um idea of money as the incentive that you're and fines you know yeah but i guess you have to be quite broad with your categories right i guess it's like stuff on the floor stuff on the sofa do you mean you can't be too specific right because people will always be you have to encompass a large amount of trash and dropping and littering and mess. Yeah, no, it's not codified.

It's all very off the top of your head. And I try to be as fair as possible. I give them a chance. But if it's something like, listen, I told you this like three times now to tidy your room and you haven't done it. That's a fine. You know, you've got to be. How much? What are we talking about?

Like, what's the weekly allowance? I think they get like £3.50 a week, which doesn't sound like much. And what are like, what's the average fine? Oh, it'll be like between 30 and 50p. We've yet to have a £1 fine. Okay, and so when they get this £3.50 a week, what the fuck do they do with it? I mean, what can you even buy with £3.50 now? What, like three litres of milk or something?

No, they buy sweets and things like that. That's a £3.50 now? What, like three litres of milk or something? No, they buy sweets and things like that. That's a big one. So on a Friday, on the way home from school, they like to stop at one of the corner shops and buy some sweets or something like that, or ice cream or whatever, or a can of Fanta. That's very popular. When they go out at the weekend,

sometimes if they've saved up their money, they'll want to buy a comic or a book or a toy or something that they really want. They also want to save up their money to buy stuff. You'd be you know dlc is very expertly priced it is like oh i need 2.99 to get this sims fucking t-shirt dlc or whatever you're like fine it's your money but you know anyway so they buy i see so there is a surprising number of things out there that you can buy with $350 if your interests are as limited and basic as my kids. Yes. Yeah, I get it.

Yeah, we just don't have the same. And I guess your approach, Sips, is more of the preventing them from doing something you don't want them to do by giving them an incentive base. Yes. Different incentives, isn't it? I mean, to be be fair they do get money for doing extra things and for anyone saying that this is unfair consider this uh they don't fucking they get everything for free they get a lot of treats i buy them a lot of stuff well it costs i think i did it did it did i read that it cost a million pounds to raise a child there's no

way it costs a million pounds i think for a long time it was 150 000 pounds i think it was generally seen as the amount oh yeah how much a million i mean jesus nobody would be able to have kids hey here's an interesting uh like stat or something for you when uh the baby when the baby was born uh which i'd like to say was almost exactly a year ago she's gonna be's going to be one in two weeks. Can you believe it? No way! I know, it's fucking crazy, eh?

So when she was born, we didn't make the same mistake we made, like certainly for the first one. We barely bought anything for the baby because we're, you know, seasoned veterans now. We didn't waste any money on a bunch of shit that we weren't going to use or whatever because we knew exactly what we needed and stuff. So, we stocked up a little bit on stuff we knew we needed like, you know, nappies and wipes and like all that kind of – all like the immediate stuff, you know. And I was at the store and they had like an off-brand box of nappy bags scented nappy bags which you need for babies right because those those diapers can really stink so they're just like these little flimsy plastic bags they come on a roll and then when you changed your baby's diaper or whatever in case you've never had a kid before whatever you put it into this little bag tie it up and just

chuck it in the garbage but then it masks like the smell of shit and pee and and whatever you know like so right it's it gives it like a more of like a floral kind of uh sure scent or whatever right so normally you get these things in like uh you know if you get like morrison's or like co-op or well you know whatever big big like um supermarket brands you got like 50 in in a pack right right but this so this was just like an off-brand thing and it had 300 bags in a pack for two pounds okay so i was like holy shit what a deal i'm gonna get four of these like we're never gonna run out of these oh my god right so i was like 1200 nappy bags like we're gonna we're never to get through this. And yesterday, we finished the fourth box. Jesus.

Yep. Sips. So, two weeks off a year, 1,200 plus because there has been like some... We haven't just used those because there have been times where like some other nappy bags have like entered the fray or whatever. That's a lot of shitty diapers for one year. Holy crap. So, fucking hell. Well, hell well okay so i've read this thing it says it's 2022 the average cost of raising a child to age 18 which is not the actual cost is it because you know they're going to come back in their 20s and live with you till they're 30 these days god damn zoomers uh they um it's 202 000 pounds so sips three kids is street 600 000 pounds well i'm not surprised that they gotta live with uh that they're gonna be living with us well into their 30s or 40s

because i don't know if you've had a look at the price of property recently. It's insane. I don't know how it's gotten to this point. I don't know how it can carry on. It's insane. Like, over here, a one-bedroom apartment, it's like 400 square feet. 350,000 pounds. Oh, it's crazy. Who the fuck is going to pay that for that?

It's nothing. It's like a matchbox. Like, you can't even live in it All these property prices going up and everybody's saying holy shit, this is fucking ridiculous right and it is But somebody's still buying these houses whoo Like who the fuck is buying that who's buying them? I don't see people moving in around here and I'm like twickenham is not cheap Who the fuck is buying these houses like what they must have a lot of the time i chatted to them when we had the party the street bar i said you know how did what was the route

you took to get here it's a very subtle way of asking how the fuck did you afford to buy a place around here and they're like oh well we sold a flat in we had we bought a flat together in london and then we sold that and we moved out here it's like so people who were like maybe in their mid-30s had bought a flat a small flat in central london a few years ago sold that for a profit and they took that money to buy a house further out like everybody migrates further out uh we never owned somewhere further in we've always lived further out because fuck living i think i think a lot of people are looking at renting and they're like well why would i rent when i could just buy and pay the same but have a mortgage right which makes a lot of sense especially if they have someone

or they're lucky enough to have someone who'll lend the money for the deposit i think it's the the best time to rent now because i don't feel like rental prices have uh gone up in line with the with the they have too they have yeah that's the thing. So I think they always will, though. I don't know. It's very difficult, right? But what I'm saying is that, you know, the people are buying houses who may have no money at all

because, you know, they've borrowed the deposit off someone else and they're, you know, it's all borrowed from the bank, right? Yeah. You can't borrow the deposit. You can't borrow the deposit. I guess it doesn't... All I'm saying is it doesn't matter how expensive the house is because if the bank yeah you can't borrow the deposit you can't borrow the deposit i guess it doesn't all i'm saying is it doesn't matter how expensive the house is because if the

bank will lend you that money and if you can bring if you can get five or ten percent as a deposit i don't even know how much you need but it's different amounts 15 percent um i think on average something like that uh then it might it also does depend on the mortgage that you get but suddenly like you know you know it's it's Suddenly, like, you know, it's within reach, especially if, you know, it makes sense financially because it costs the same. I read a thing which said that, you know, if you're going to buy a house,

you should stay there for at least 10 years. You should plan to, because otherwise, you're not covering the costs of the stamp duty and all the extra shit you pay for. I mean, unless your area goes up insanely. Unless you live uh where i live and uh you can expect like uh an extra like 200 300 000 pound profit uh every year because the the prices go up so much it's fucking insane man like i don't know i mean it's good if you bought over here i suppose but like if you're just trying to buy

impossible i don't think people even like i mean obviously having a house as an investment is is is fine and you know it's good to be on that that ladder i think that you're not gambling on it going up when you buy it right no one's buying a house thinking oh this is a i'm expecting this to double sometimes yeah okay i mean if you can turn around and flip a place for like a huge profit like after a couple years why not but i think but i think that's the point though. I think the point is that you're – imagine it didn't really go up ludicrously because of any kind of – in a real modern – in a normal world, a normal situation, you shouldn't move more than 10 years because you're effectively – you might as well rent in that case, right? Because the costs that you're

accruing are deflated or reduced by that you know if you're going to move house every couple of years yeah there are some people i know that do that not like not like friends friends but like you know other other people that we know in the area sort of thing and they'll move all the time like they'll they they'll live here for a couple years and they'll sell they buy some other place oh man i don't know how people do that it's too much move house like i mean it don't get me wrong it's exciting when you when you first move into a house but holy shit's a lot of work and especially when you have kids it's even more work right oh forget about it it's a nightmare i i uh yeah i mean i'm still renting actually and

part of the reason is that i'm just every time i rent somewhere i move in and i'm like this place is all the problems with this i wouldn't want to own this place because of all the problems with it right and i get those sorted out just about enough to live in it while i'm renting it and it's like but and i know if i lived there and and i don't have to do that once but i guess i just dread the constant maintenance and all the or i dread like buying somewhere and then hating it because there's it's that the neighbors are shit or noisy or the air is really noisy or there's loads of flies or i don't know some weird fucking thing like some dumb fucking shit like i went to this restaurant in corfu and it was really nice really beautiful like place like it felt like i was in a different

world there was like all these wonderful paved streets flowers everywhere what's this restaurant but as soon as it got dark at like 9 p.m then all the just fucking all the bugs just came in like all the vagabonds started turning up like fucking crazy man like they were everywhere like like like it was like you i was walking out of the restaurant and it's like crunching under my feet because there were that many bugs on the floor i could you there were too many roaches and stuff too no just like little black bugs and like little mosquitoes and it's obviously because it was in like a more rural area but i was just like how the fuck this this this restaurant must have to like fucking seriously scrub these floors clean every morning like you know like in those james bond

movies the old james bond movies or any james James Bond movie, he always goes to like places like Greece or whatever. He's always in these kind of like exotic locations. And, you know, he's always got his tuxedo on at night. He's outside talking to like, you know, some villain or some shit or whatever. Where's all the fucking bugs? Like you never see him swatting his face, like getting the bugs out or whatever. He's always just like, oh, that's interesting, Dr. No, that you would say that. But then he's like, where's the fucking mosquitoes?

Yeah, I think it got me on my neck there, Doctor. Right there. Got it. Got it. I got it. Hang on a second, Dr. No. Just a second. Give me the fly swat.

Or they've got something in their shoe. He's like, so, Blofeld, you think, hold on, just let me, just let me shake this up. Got a rock in my boot. There we go. Okay. Nope, it's still there. Hold on, let me tap the top of the shoe. You alright there, Bob? There we go.

Nope, I've just had something in my shoe. Right. Where are we? Blofeld, you won't get away with this. Oh, man. I love the idea of him, like, forgetting to put sun cream on or forgetting his glasses in a restaurant like a normal person. Or suddenly needing a shit really bad. Oh, that must happen.

He's getting on as well. Hold that thought. I've got to go pinch a big one. Where's the toilet? Prairie dog in real hard turtling. Gotta go. Especially if he gets punched in the gut, you know,

let's sound like a big fart. Oh, get that shit back there. Oh, shit. It's like one long tubular shit flies out. Oh, no. It's like one long tubular shit flies out.

Oh. Oh. Like one of those snakes that escapes from a can. Oh, fuck's sake. Like, you know, the sort of practical joke where you unscrew the lid of a jar and a snake shoots out. Yeah. That's the poo coming out of Bon's ass. That's coming out of Bon's ass, yeah. Holy shit.

Just rips a hole in his trousers, just flies right out. Holy crap. I'd pay good money to see that was q the name of the guy that does all the uh gadgets gadgets what have you got for me q well but pay attention bond this is a nappy it's an adult nappy with extra wiggle room bond we've seen your snake like anaconda shits that you've been taking uh recently and we wanted to make sure that we could accommodate those spirals up in there oh fucking hell today's episode is sponsored by honey the easy way to save when shopping and buying stuff on your iphone or computer i have Honey. I've got it on my browser. Oh, the coupon book again. Get my coupon book

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and on with the show hey listen on the topic of movies I would like your opinions on the movies that I've watched recently I did not watch a movie for it had to have been about two years and then in the past probably four days I've watched like

six movies I don't know why what prompted me to I've just watched a bunch I don't know why what prompted me to i've just watched a bunch i don't know if you've seen some of these but if you have seen them hit me hit me okay the first one i watched was hustle started starring adam sandler on netflix oh god i haven't i haven't seen that i don't really i heard it was good i heard he was all right me neither but um it was it reviewed well and people said that it was Adam Sandler actually playing a role where he's not, you know, like a big man child. And you like basketball, right?

I quite like basketball, yeah. So, he's a basketball, he's a scout for the NBA. And he ends up going to Spain to find some talent. to find some talent, but then comes across like a street basketball player who he then convinces to go back to America to try to make it in the NBA. It's pretty good. It was a nice movie.

I enjoyed it, which led me on to watching Uncut Gems. Oh, yeah. I couldn't get along with that. It was so depressing. It's really stressful as well. It's really stressful. Yeah, it's one of the most stressful movies I've ever seen. It's like constant shouting well. It's just- It's really stressful.

Yeah, it's one of the most stressful movies I've ever seen. It's like constant shouting and people talking over each other. But I thought it was really cool. I liked it, yeah. It was really different. Yeah, I enjoyed it. I thought it was pretty good. I thought it was cool. I thought it was pretty good.

No, okay. You went up to an Adam Sandler kick. Yeah, I don't know why. I think I just thought he was pretty good in Hustle. Fine, I'll give Uncut Gems a try. I liked it. And then following the sports theme, I then watched Moneyball with Brad Pitt and Chris Pratt. One of my favorites.

One of my favorite sport movies ever made. Love it. It was really good. Yeah. I was surprised because I didn't really know anything about it. I didn't know if it was going to be any good or not. Just gave it a try and really enjoyed it. Thought it was super interesting. Thought it was great.

Yeah, it was really good. I also watched 8 Mile with Eminem. Never seen it. It's not great, is it? It's got some good stuff. It's pretty garbage. There was parts of it that were okay, but I just thought overall,

I didn't really enjoy it that much. It was just very average. It's got a lot of cameos in there, I think, and stuff, right? Like exhibits in it. Yes. Kim Bassett. Yeah, she's in it. She plays his mum, yeah.

And the guy from, man, he's been in all sorts of stuff, but he was the the guy used to whip himself in boardwalk empire you know like um he was like the the christian guy uh-huh i don't know if he was like an investigator or something but he was he played the mom's boyfriend who was also his um m&m school did you see by the way the m&m snoop dog nft song wait do you mean michael shannon really quickly this week michael shannon is a great actor yeah i didn't know it might be michael shannon yeah Snoop Dogg NFT song. Wait, do you mean Michael Shannon really quickly? This week. Michael Shannon is a great actor. Yeah. I didn't know he played that. It might be Michael Shannon, yeah.

Actually, think about it. Yeah, it is Michael Shannon. He's fantastic. He's really good. Anyway, sorry, go on. They did this weird fucking thing. It was basically just a shit song about weed. But Eminem is in it looking more of a dad than he's ever looked.

And Snoop Dogg is just such a weird fucking guy. I feel likeinem just looks like a dad who's had a whole bunch of cosmetic surgery he looks very waxy and plasticky now to me he does do you do you think snoop dogg is a fucking alien snoop dogg no i don't think he is really no i think he's just he just hasn't aged into any it just looks weirdly the same and just just... I don't understand him. Yeah, I don't know. I like Snoop Dogg, though. I don't really have any problems with Snoop Dogg. He's just a fucking living meme.

Do you reckon he actually smokes weed off camera? Oh, God, yeah. Tremendous amounts of it as well. Do you know what Eminem looks like to me now? It looks like this is actually a Mark Zuckerberg side project. Yes. And he dresses up as Eminem and goes out. Yeah.

They do look oddly familiar, don't they? It's weird. So I watched that. I said, you know what? Good news. I finally convinced my wife to watch Whiplash. She was so hesitant. And do you know what the kicker was?

Because I've been trying to, like, I've been joking about it. I was going to buy her the DVD for her birthday just as a joke and stuff because she's just like i don't want to watch it sounds like stupid i couldn't explain it very well it's all right but it's like i finally managed to convince her to watch it because we started watching uh don't look up you know the one with uh dicaprio oh yeah too long but well we got like five minutes into it and uh my wife's like you know i, I'm just not going to like this. Like, what's it about space and stuff? I don't really know.

I think it is a little bit maybe astronomy or whatever. She's like, I was like, okay, well, if we're not watching this, we've got to watch Whiplash. And she's like, those are the only two choices. I was like, yep. She's like, all right, put Whiplash on then. I'll try it out. And she's hooked now. She's like, oh, my God.

Like, we watched half of it because we got tired. But she's i can't wait to watch the rest tomorrow this is great so there you go a whiplash clumbers with a fucking good movie just to be clear don't look up is not about space no well we didn't we didn't know though like because we've we're at this point now with like all these streaming services netflix and stuff i don't know if you guys have this but you spend all your time browsing through them and never watching anything because everything like i i fucking hate doing it too like i'm just sitting there looking for something to watch and everything just looks boring and shitty and i can't find something to watch uh so now we've just decided instead of browsing just click on stuff and give it a try but like there's been a lot of things that we've only watched for like two minutes and then decided rightly or

wrongly that we don't want to watch it so right that's so um so we're so we're in the middle watching whiplash and the other movie that i watched i took my kids to see on sunday light year the new pixar movie uh-huh we were talking about that last week it was all right it's it was just it was it was okay it was just it was fine it was it was typically pixar but not as good as like other pixar movies like you know so like not all pixar movies are created equal i guess like some of them are just way better than others like it was technically really good like looked great you know like all the animation and shit the story was just like whatever it was okay and it was and it was fine there was like some funny moments in it you know is the usual

like the sidekicks are all like the the comedy elements and stuff and it was it was it was it was pretty good my kids loved it so that was nice and i got to just sit in a dark room and nobody really talked to me for two hours and i ate popcorn which is kind of nice but um holy shit yeah it's all right yeah i mean that as a dad i would give it a five out of ten for sure which is generous for me wow yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna see the new thor movie um is that the one with the with the woman thor i don't know oh it's the new one anyway is there is there a woman thor or something i don't think I saw something about woman Thor I haven't heard I haven't even heard there was a new Thor movie love and thunder Thor embarks on a journey unlike anything he's ever faced a quest for inner peach peace love and thunder sounds something like

Like a dwarf peon would say in an RTS game Yeah, when you give him an order However, his retirement gets interrupted by Gore the God Butcher, a galactic killer who seeks the extinction of the gods. Sounds bad. That sounds... It's directed by Taika Waititi. Of course it is.

I think everything is these days. So it's probably going to be really good. He's done everything. I'm going to say... I like the last Thor movie. He's my age. Let's look at this. He's like my age. This dude is killing last Thor movie. He's my age. Let's look at this. He's like my age.

This dude is killing it. Sure. It's actually incredible. Why is he so much better than me? We're the same age. Wow. But okay, I read this thing the other day that said, if you're 70 years old, right, you're unemployable, okay?

Because you've got mental decline. Unless you're applying to be the president of the united states of america in that in that case you can be as old as you fucking want to be any business that's right like you could be as fucking incompetent as you like i feel like it's the same with um the same with other sort of aspects of i mean god i know we have we shouldn't really talk about this but the big news that happened when I was on fucking holiday, for some reason, you know, no one's, everyone's like leaving their phones at home.

Jeremy, we're all out on the beach, like on a boat somewhere, like about as far away from social media as possible. And yet breaking news, kind of the breaking news, like it was like some sort of global event was, you know what I'm talking about. I do. The overturning news. Road versus versus wade overturned and um the immediate thing i thought was like like i saw someone tweet it same same thought but it was

it was basically jumber when you know in like 30 30 years ago crime dropped massively and they all tried to like take credit and say it was better policing and all this but it turned out the free economics guys figured out yeah yeah actually it was better policing and all this, but it turned out the Freakonomics guys figured out that actually it was because a generation of kids that shouldn't have been born were born, right? And unwanted and, you know, on the streets. And so are we going to see... No, of course we're not,

but I just like the idea of a return to crime America. Crime America. What are you talking about? Like some Judge Dredfuture, right? Where everyone's fucking criminals and there's like judges on the street fucking orphans everywhere. You are despicable.

Stop, criminal scum. I'm just saying that we gotta look at the benefits of this. What is the upside to them? They've already got most of the prisoners in the world or in america like they have the most incarcerated people it's insane that country's gone madder and madder year on year i saw a clip today they were talking to one of these guys i don't know what state it was or who he was but this was some some kind of political thing and

you can look it up i don't fucking care and he was saying uh you know an i an iud which is like the coil they call that right oh god you put it in the the uterus and it stops the egg even a fertilized egg from implanting on the lining of the uterus and therefore turning into a fetus and all the rest of it sure that is considered this guy was saying that's not a contraception. That's a form of abortion. So we should ban that.

Yeah, that was his plan. So I know that I watched some videos about this idea, what they call it. Let's just let's

just make this this just make this a little bit. So is a condom a form of abortion? Yes, because it's only when a sperm meets an egg. apparently, right? No, no abortion yes because it's only when a sperm meets an egg

apparently right no no it's only when a sperm meets an egg oh it's only the catholics that believe that you shouldn't if you spill your seed and it's not in a woman you know that's a sin basically right so that's not a protest so like a face it's like it's like finishing on the face is that abortion nothing on her thigh on her face on her ass on her titties, it's all no good for Catholics, right? Really? Yeah. Is that in the Bible somewhere? Absolutely. Thou shalt not none accept

up her butt. Holy crap. That's the commandment. Because the Bible famously rhymes. That's the interpretation I'm into of the Bible. The baller interpretation. No, so it is, you know. Snoop Dogg's version.

They're sort of reaching for that kind of, you know, well, what is contraception? You know, so I think the ideal for a lot of these people would be to not have any form of contraception. And then that leads to a few things. First of all, abstinence, which they love, right? They love abstinence. They don't want anybody to have sex until they get married, all that kind of stuff. That's a very far right religious kind of view is that you shouldn't have

sex outside of marriage. There's also a large group of people over there who think that there are not enough white babies being born. So we need to make sure that more of these people who are having abortions are having babies instead, because that's the only way that they'll stop being quote unquote outnumbered by non-white people so the replacement theory and all that kind of stuff i feel like these people when they find like a little extra benefit it's like when i'm it's like me being vegan okay when i find something that you know i originally became vegan because i wanted to be healthy okay but then i found that actually i can be also really smug about looking after animals yeah and i could also be really

smug about climate change it's like oh i'm saving the planet guys i'm saving the planet as well you know and so anytime they get a little fucking chance of an idea that sounds good like oh not enough white babies are being born that's i'll jump on that one it's like what it's not actually a good thing um no well that's that's where it's gone and either way you know what i mean this is the other thing is i saw a lot of people over here panicking about how we might be next because you know all the tories always do what the uh what the republicans do which is not true. We're not going to suddenly have guns over here. We're not going to suddenly develop a conservative religious, large conservative religious voting base. We're definitely there. There's like they did a poll a few years ago. It's like a handful of percentage, like two

or three percent of people think abortion should be limited. That's it. There's no way that we're going to have anything like that over here, or I can't even imagine it anywhere in Europe, in all honesty. There's a lot more support for it in America. Maybe Italy. Maybe Italy. But America is very very, very different from us. So don't worry, it's not going to happen

over here, and there's nothing we can do about it. The idea of religion is really kind of different. I mean, we have the church of england which is probably the weakest church it's the it's the most pussy church they're losing to they'd lose to the fucking buddhists at least they have a massive gold temple and shit and they are a bunch of them you know they've got those monks that do kung fu and shit what have we got we got brenda and uh and sharon who do the jumble sale on a sunday and they've made a fucking fruitcake and they're trying to raise money for the church roof that's falling down which is nice and it's fine it's very british right but the the church of england is so

hands-off and good because if they were hands-on and active we'd be like shut the fuck up you pedos like get back in that hole do you mean that we wouldn't let them have an inch um we shouldn't you know in these days they have no credit and they have no whereas i think so many americans like even presidents feel that they have to go to church and they have to say i love god some form of god i'm like lutheran or baptist or one of the ones whatever but you know we're all it's all the same god ever been a president who hasn't gone to church. Attended Sunday service with their whole family.

Which is terrifying. You have to. This is the land of the free, by the way. You can complain all you want about these Islamic states. Just look at your own. Look in the mirror, America. It's a message to you.

Sorry. Sorry. It does annoy me look at your own you know look in the mirror america it's the message to you oh sorry sorry it does it does it does annoy me a lot of the things that they say the conservative very far right conservatives in america do seem to me quite similar to their sort of uh is sort of fundamental islamic uh teachings where it's very to, very anti-woman, which seems spot on with American conservatives. It's sort of like, you know, you have to be religious and why wouldn't you be? And we've got to follow the teachings of the Bible and all that. And teaching this is wrong. And it does genuinely seem like a woman's place is in the home, all that stuff. You'd get on with these lads pretty well. There are some differences i reckon if you had sunday lunch uh and taliban and a bunch of these uh mormon types were sat around they'd find

a lot more in common with each other than differences i would like to see more intra like religion fighting do you mean because what do you you want to see more crime like i want to see the morm dream is like a chaotic crime written like I want to see the Mormons fighting like the Baptists we'd all like to see that

I mean I would like to see the Amish like fighting the fucking you know whatever nutcase you're selling me

whatever nutcase choir's going much like in Ireland you know with the Catholics and the Protestants oh my god dude we need some of that why isn't that in America

because why do they all just put up need some of that. Why isn't that in America? Because why do they all just put up with some of these really shitty, like fundamentalist sects and cults and shit? You know, get Scientology versus, like, I don't know, one of the other weird... Wait, you want them to stop blowing each other up and stuff like that? Well, they're all kind of,

they're kind of all just idiots and scumbags. Anyway, if they all kill each other, then we'll solve the problems all solved, innit is a controversial episode this week it all started when lewis's phone went off while he was on his vacay the big news about it bothered me so much now this is me just spilling out we're going back we're gonna do a triforce about this you did all the people that you went on holiday with get to uh experience experience this level of ranting from you as well? Did you go off on one big time? That's why he's doing it now.

He hasn't done it for a week. I'm trying to be on my best behavior around people I don't know very well. Whereas with all of you guys, I'm just like, fuck it. I don't know. I guess the point is that I did read an article this week that said more and more people are declaring themselves non-religious than ever. It's obviously a path that we're taking. And I think that in a world where we are all more aware and educated and also able to stigmatise people who are stupid or doing stupid shit, like public shaming them on the internet, which is not the best thing in the world, but it is an interesting phenomenon.

There's a John Ronson book called So You you've been publicly shamed it's really good really interesting read i think you you recommended it yeah before um so yeah obviously it's not a great thing that we have but it is an interesting thing i'm just saying that these religions are going to be fighting for the idiots right they're all fighting over the idiots they're like oh it's like it's like those nigerian princes scamming you on the internet like it's only the dynasties or people who buy nfts if you're thick enough to buy a fucking nft you deserve to have your data stolen and other shit to be marketed to you you know because you're stupid enough to fucking buy that shit as well do you know what i mean i just bought a whole bunch of nfts before we started

i'm worried. Coming back around to the fucking Snoop Dogg, Eminem, NFT thing. Because they both bought NFTs. They both bought an ape. Eminem's got like a weird looking one with a hat. And Snoop Dogg's got like one with a cigar. And they sort of, they are these apes in their fucking music video. It's just, at the time when, you know know bitcoin is just kind of having a shit because

because it is nothing it's nothing am i right like if it's i i i hate to be the the the crypto guy but like i talking about this but we talked about this a lot before and i've always been very like on the fence because i'm always like kind of like yeah do you know what maybe it is good maybe it's like useful thing to have to check like you know the banks and stuff and oh yeah decentralizers free free markets you know i'm very much that kind of guy right um and i feel like you know if people if people didn't know they probably would think oh yeah lewis has probably got some some crypto right he's probably invested in something but i've always just been so scared about it because it's so it just it just

it just doesn't feel like gambling it's gambling it doesn't as usual feel like anything all of these things are set up listen i'm going to give you some pflax life advice here we go all of you are this going to cost me anything this is going to be free wow that's that kind of advice i like that if you listen if you listen to it once you've listened to it you can go play on your computer all day okay right all right i'm ready yeah so very simple if anyone ever tells you what you have to do is get in on the ground floor of x and buy it and you'll be rich we're all gonna be rich it's a load of fucking bullshit so are you saying it was the same you saying it sounds too good to be true?

Probably is but people always think oh this is different though And there's always some clever sales pitch like there was with cryptocurrency. Oh, but it's decentralized. Don't worry Free from it. It's a just another fucking sales, which every pyramid scheme So if you choose not like other pyramid schemes. If you come along and you pay, it's the tithe, and you give some of your money and you wear the pyjamas,

you're going to get the best seat in heaven. Right. And you're going to watch other people wanking. You know, you could do whatever you want up there. Where did that come from? It's heaven. You know,

that's what God's doing at the moment. I see. He's watching you wanking, you know. Well, he's very disappointed with me. You can sit at the right hand of you wank it you know so he's very disappointed at the right hand of god if you only give all of your money to this um group of rich white men

to help them pay for their private jets that's the thing is what makes it aspirational is that all these tech multi-billionaires and all the rest of it who sit around saying look at how much i've made from crypto you shouldn't see that as that could be me. You should wonder how it is that if this is so egalitarian and all the rest of it, how come these guys are so fucking rich off the back of it? Why isn't everybody this rich off the back of it? Because of course it always flows up. Always, always, always. Like the stock market, you're being told, oh, take your spare money and invest it. Who's telling you that? Some guy who's a fucking a billionaire sitting there who just wants you to put all your money into these stupid platforms so you can lose it to the people who actually run

this shit fucking just the only way to make money in this world is betting on the horses and let me tell you what i've got a hell of a pick for you for 240 at winchester uh the horse is called gabby hayes Handbag. Santa's little helper. Gabby Hayes Handbag. I love that. You're totally right. It's all gambling. It's just ridiculous.

You have to get a job. Sadly, you either get lucky, rip people off, or you get a job. And that's pretty much any way to make money. I'm sorry, but that's it. None of this fucking, oh, I'm going to do it from my bedroom with clever investments. Fuck off. Fuck off. I mean, that's it. None of this fucking, oh, I'm going to do it from my bedroom with clever investments. Fuck off. Fuck off. I mean, it's amazing. So the things that Bitcoin sold us were like, anyone can mine it.

You can just run a manual on your PC. Of course, you can't do that. The only people who can mine it are the people who have dedicated fucking server farms near to a fucking wind turbine. Right, exactly. Do you know what I mean? Or in the middle of the Chinese mountains near a fucking coal power plant that means they can get the electricity cheap and they run it at night, you know?

And the same thing is like, oh, but you could just spend it like it's your Visa card, except you have to pay fees. You know, you don't have to do that with your credit card. People have to, oh, you can keep it safe. You just have to not lose the USB stick. It's like, well, how is that safe? Everything about it is a lie, right? lie right it's a load of bollocks

and it's totally unregulated every single thing like that people see this people see all these regulations as like government interference but it's not government interference it's genuinely a lot of it is protection for you as a consumer and if you say oh i want to step into an unregulated market it's the fucking wild west and you are going to lose your money if you say oh i want to step into an unregulated market it's the fucking wild west and you are going to lose your money if you really are because you lose your money in regulated markets as it is now you're taking all the rules away and saying somehow this is better bullshit it's all bullshit man yeah it's it's hilarious anyway i'm sure we'll get some charm it's just the latest it's just the latest scam you know two thousand ago, it was religion. That scam's still going.

2,000 years from now, some cunts are still going to be selling fucking wank coin to you. And you're going to be fucking lapping it up. Man, this guy is just filled with piss and vinegar after it. How long did you go away for? One week? Oh, my God, man. It's reinvigorating. Can you imagine if this guy went away somewhere for like a month oh my god i've got i've got i've got a fun email that we could do here uh to round

things out if you like sure it's from mikey mikey has put together uh a quiz for us to see if we can remember things we've spoken about okay uh on the we're gonna fail this horribly i well the question one i think you'll get question one and you can just jump in any time there's no score anything that's just a bit of fun who is the famous siege breaker who was armed with a rotisserie chicken a dressing gown and a fishing Gaskin. Of course it was. Paul Gaskin. Oh, is he a phone bag? I've got gas on the phone. I'm answering all the questions in your quiz. I'm interested.

I mean, of course. When you hear some of this stuff back, you should get some chicken. It's fucking ridiculous, eh? Didn't we have a conversation one time about Prince Philip being a force ghost? Yeah, of course. I'm sure that'll come up. Whose version of Lord of the Rings includes Dave Bautista as Gandalf and Henry Cavill as Boromir?

That's got to be you. That's got to be yours. Right. So who was the director? Oh, it was like Sam Ra, it was Sam Raimi. Not Sam Raimi. Michael Bay. No, no.

Worse even somehow. No, wasn't it that guy? The guy that did the new Star Trek movies. J.J. No, not J.J. Evans. It was Zack Snyder's Lord of the Rings. Oh, yeah, Zack Snyder. That's right.

Of course it was Zack Snyder's Lord of the Rings. You guys won't get this one. You guys won't get this one. You guys won't get this one. Who is Bodega's primary love interest? Oh, what the fuck was her name again? Lula. Lola Leeloo. No, it was Majesta.

Oh, Majesta, yeah. Who would invite you to join them on their stupid fucking journey? Oh, that was Lewis's TED Talk, right? That was my TED Talk from back in the day yeah ted x a ted x speaker well although the answer here says a ted ed speaker ted x ted ed and we talked about ted x when speaking to his personal trainer what did lewis respond when asked when was the last time you got a workout like that uh it was something to do with like fucking his mom wasn't it it It was very inappropriate.

When I banged your mum last night. Did you actually say that to your personal trainer? I stand by that. I know you broke... You can't set someone up like that and not fucking use that. Did he laugh at all? How many chances do you get to say that? No.

I remember the story was that the trainer would just crack on with his job thinking this guy's a fucking twat and Lewis was just fucking with him just because why not? I think the less reaction I get, the more I want to double down on it, though. The funnier it gets when he just looks at you blankly and you're like, yeah, because I fucked you up, yeah? The thing is, it's like I know I'm going to be able to tell this story in the back of my mind. I'm like, yeah. He's doing it for the means.

This is worth it. All right. When Perrion went to the strip club called the Flying scotsman how did they collect tips for the stripper it was pound coins in a in a pint glass it was pound coins in a pint we have such good memories actually it's not we it's me who has a great memory i should point out i'm getting them all right i think a lot of these bits you're talking about are ones that have been animated as well there's a couple of animations. Several of these have been animated.

Yeah, I think that helps. So here's another one. If Sips were to become a Zen master, what question would he pose to his eager disciples? Oh, it was something. Was it shenanay? No, that was his peace word. Yeah, the peace word. That's what you say when you've reached Nirvana because because of this question i can't i can't even remember it was how do they get the caramel into the snickers bar how do they though it's it's like magic this is an easy one what is portage

come on okay we all know this you guys know what it is, right? Skip on it. I know. It's that stuff with chips with the gravy and the cheese curds, right? Come on. If you were in UK prison, what would be the most effective way to injure someone who had robbed you? Oh, my God, man. It's to use a jug or kettle of boiling hot water with a bit of sugar. Exactly. So it craps the skin.

Get all your jugging. Fuck me. And there is a picture of sugar. So it crafts the skin. And there is a picture of the Triforce jug. I think a lot of people forget the sugar. There is a key ingredient in that one. Because it actually burns. It sticks and burns your skin for a lot longer. It's like burning tar that I tipped on people in a sea.

Whereas the hot water is just like a refreshing bath. I'm sure it is. According to refreshing bath, which they probably need. I'm sure it is. According to the podcast, how would sips like to die in space? I actually remember this one. I don't remember this. I think you want to fly into the sun.

Yeah, I think you wanted to be at the bridge of a ship and you wanted to see the enemy fleet and be like, oh, my God. And then you just get blown up. I think that was it. That's not actually a terrible way to go, right? I'm actually so close. I want to be standing on the bridge of a massive space battle cruise and I want to have been making some decisions and stuff. And then I want to do that thing.

I forgot how good that line is. And then I want to do that thing. Decisions and stuff. When they look out the window, when I say, oh my God, and then there's a bright flash of light, and then I'm dead. I mean, come on. That's not a horrible way to go. That's a great way to go.

You get the realization and stuff, and you know, like in that split second, your whole life flashes before your eyes, and you're like, my goose is fucking cooked here. Like, there's no going back. I'm done. And this is actually incorrect incorrect what is the true purpose of the abandoned house near period's house and of course it's the russian spy house yeah that's right but it is not the russian spy house it is not these are very these are very light triforce trivia now i think if you asked us more specific stuff that was less memorable we would have we talk about this all the time but

i did listen to a couple of old podcasts and i was like i can't remember us talking about this yeah no dude we've done so many people people tweet at me i'm sure you guys get this people tweet at me and they'll be like on episode 187 when you said x what was your thinking about why i was like i don't fucking remember saying x like well look i just i've had a recent one from uh solaris wesson re triforce mailbag one you mentioned rebooting saved by the bell it was in 2020 i watched the first episode and cringed so hard i couldn't watch anymore so i don't remember talking about reboot no i don't either so there you go and that was like you know mailbag one when we recorded that one like two weeks ago or something.

Yeah. Oh, my God. So it just shows. Like you kind of forget. Just a follow up to Mikey. Just this is serendipitous. I studied computer science at one of the UK's top universities. All right, Mikey, calm down, mate.

And everybody I've talked to agrees that NFTs are a bunch of wank. Well done, Mikey. That ties into what we were just talking about. Yeah, Mike, thanks so much. For doing it. that nfts are a bunch of wank well done mikey ties into what we were just talking about thanks so much doing it um so yeah you're going away for about three or possibly four weeks pflex so um we're gonna struggle to tap on us but we have recorded a couple of mailbags we have we got we've got us we got another special episode um that we might put out that we were saving but we might get that out to you guys so there should be there should be stuff coming out i can do next week okay i can do next week um so we'll have one then we i come back from

stockholm on the day we normally record so i won't be able to do one that day come on um pussy unless we did one in the afternoon okay and and do the podcast on the day you get back what's the problem i know i know and then i am away for like two and a half weeks in California. And the thing is... What is that, like end of July? Yeah, but there is a potential for doing on the road podcast. I don't know what the time will be like or anything, but we'll see.

If I've got a free time and, you know, if I message you guys, we can sort it out. It's possible. It's possible. Okay. Well, we'll let you... Whatever happens, there'll be a podcast because we got a few in the can not as good no but they're all right they're fine honestly it's good enough for the fine it's good

enough for the fucking listeners of this piece of shit if they're bad then it's your because you wrote those letters do you mean i didn't write I selected them not you the audience said it's their fault yes exactly write better letters you have yourself to blame fucking idiots yeah exactly

you tell them you're welcome so yeah thanks for thanks for listening we'll see you next see you next week or next month

goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye See you whenever. Goodbye.