Triforce! - Triforce! #233: Lewis' Therapy Rants

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

Triforce! Episode 233! We're gathering a crack team of law experts through fan mail, poor Sipsy has a luxury MRI experience, and we answer more of your questions in this mailbag hybrid episode! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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See how you like how I did that with the fish? Very good. Yeah, well, just do a proper one in case Tom is annoyed about it. Three, two, one. Mark! I can't imagine he would be annoyed by it well i don't know i think it's tom's been editing this podcast for five years now and oh my god and we don't give him enough i think he should be the shout out for this episode all right let's do that right now

in fact okay tom you don't need to even change anything this is the intro to the podcast now with the mark this is for you with six fucking about yes that is the intro because i want people to know what tom has to put up with and how tyrannical lewis is about the marks and doing them correctly it's just if we're out of sync through the whole podcast by a little bit yeah it'll really annoy tom you can shuffle it along a bit though like i i I think you gotta give the guy... You gotta give him room to breathe, right? You gotta give him a chance to do his thing. You can't smother him.

Yeah, that's true. I trust Tom. He has to put his little sparkle of fairy dust on this. A little sprinkle of magic powder. He's gotta sprinkle the unicorn flake, unicorn semen all over the magical properties. On this bowl of bran flakes or whatever we are. Well, we would like to say, I think I speak for us all. Thank you, Tom, for editing this shit show for five years.

You do a fantastic job. And I'm sure that we could all, a little round of applause for Tom. I think Tom can have the big up this week. He's got the big up. If this podcast is the Jordan's Country Crisp, and you're the Oat Flakes, you know Sips. On that subject, I had some Jordan's... It wasn't Country Crisp.

It was like nuts and clusters or something. Holy shit, it's so good. I'm the coconut. P-Flax is the uh barley flakes and then the straw the freeze-dried strawberry that's you tom i'm gonna be the i'm the lucky charms with um you know speaking of these cereal types i i was uh i noticed i had a pop-up on my tiktok messages to say that i was followed by dorset cereals, which is a brand of cereal I have purchased and enjoyed. Why the fuck are they following my stupid TikTok account?

Why is it that you have local shit, like the local beer and the local stuff? What is it with you? It's like you're getting into your local community. He's the right demographic. He's in his 40s. He's got disposable income. He's got kids and everything.

This is the type of guy that these places depend on, right? Yeah, exactly. Flax is the kind of guy who would seek out a local craft brew. It also turns out that he lives next door to the factory that makes some local breads. Flax, how far away are you from your house to join the 12-hour queue to pay respects to the queen lying in state? I don't know, because I was reading about this today. I realized by the time this goes out, the queue may have died down. So, I apologize if it's not...

Well, I don't think she'll be lying in state anymore, right? No, she has to stay there until the queue dies down. She's going to be there for years. Holy shit. Whoa. They've got to have some little air conditioners or something. No, they have nothing. Okay. Well, that's going to stink after a while, right? Like, I mean,

we're heading into autumn, so maybe that'll help. I think they've rubbed her in wax or whatever they do to keep her going. Jesus Christ, guys. Just show some respect. The queen has died. I can't make it to London to show my respect in person, so I'm going to do it on the podcast instead. I'm going to watch it on the TV. That's what I'm going to do. That's going to show my respect.

It is a fascinating and all-encompassing piece of news that really is, regardless of what you think about the monarchy and comments that we may have made in the past, I'm sure our true feelings are that it could have been worse to have someone else in charge for all this time. You know, the Queen has, despite obviously some people, however your feelings, I think that, you know, she has been on the throne for our

and my parents' entire lifetimes. Not your dad's entire life. I think he's older than my mum. Your dad would have probably remembered the king before. No, your dad is over 70. She took over in 1952, and your dad is like almost 100. Oh, okay. Well, yeah, that's true.

Good research is always done on this podcast before. That's true. All right. Fact-checking. I'll get fact-checked immediately there by you guys. But I guess I acknowledge know she was a a solid foundation you know she was always like pretty pretty deece there were no real controversies around not really not with her not with her i mean everyone else yeah oh my god it's like it's

like the national enquirer everyone else is absolutely off the rails you know but so there's a question for you do you think the amount of sort of controversy that there's been around It's like the National Enquirer, everyone else is absolutely off the rails, but they do get criticised. So there's a question for you. Do you think the amount of controversy that there's been around pretty much every other major royal, but we never hear anything about the Queen, do you think that's just because it is assumed that whatever she does just gets swept under the rug? Oh no, it's like a team of like cover-ups like men in black style i think that there's definitely a degree of covering up but i think also she uh

just really took the job seriously as well i think she may have done like like i think there's probably a couple of bits and pieces but overall like i i don't think that she i think she i think she had like uh an idea of how things should be and, and live that as well. Right. I also, I get, I get the impression and I don't know whether this is true at all, but I get the impression that she didn't particularly want the job, but it fell on her and she felt like she was just going to do her best and do a duty. And, you know, and I get, I always liked that as a as a comment like on on running things i feel like the people who should run the country are people who don't want

to run it you know almost like you know that's what they say right they say even about politicians like they say the best politicians would never run to become a politician right like the best candidates yeah they would never want to even do the job right like they they've asked people like uh in the past like i'm like for instance i'm not saying that i would like oprah winfrey to become the president or dr phil or whatever but these are these are big icons in uh in american culture right that people have often said like oh what if oprah was president or whatever but she's even said herself like i like, I would never even consider running. Yeah.

Let's get her in. I don't want to be in politics. Yes. Like, it's just a nightmare. And I agree. I'd be the same. My God, she's almost as old as Biden now, though. Jeez, Oprah.

Yeah, she's perfect age. I do have a question, actually. And I would like if anyone wants to to email in because uh sips um lewis and i were saying beforehand we've got a lot of emails for in the mailbag so i thought we might do a mailbag episode today because we got some good ones yeah uh one of the things i would like to know is i've been reading some stuff about people blaming the queen and saying that she has blood on her hands and stuff like that for the colonial policies that happened on her watch, as it were. Sure, yeah.

But it's not like she actually has much authority. I'm just curious, when people criticise the royals for being out of touch and costing us money and what the fuck do we still have this for? I get all that. I understand all of those criticisms. I am completely ambivalent either way. When the Queen died, we were actually filming something and i was like oh the queen started we went oh and then got back with work right but we got on with our jobs sure yeah it was like it was weird and it was obviously a

big news story and i understand my mum was very upset i understand people yeah i was very upset i'm not judging any of that i'm just saying what exactly could or should the queen have done when she's not actually like a crusader kings style monarch no i mean she doesn't hold any tangible any kind of power at all yeah so i was just curious she's just a very sort of like high ranking ambassador for all intents and purposes right she's like a diplomat she's right she's a. She's a cultural head, like an icon. But really, like all she does is she receives important people who, you know, see her as a big deal. And I mean, she was like a pretty big deal, of course, as well. But the argument that like they cost us money and all that, I mean, it's like in the grand scheme of things, it's like a fucking rounding error, the amount

of money that they get from the taxpayer. It's not actually that much. Like it's a drop in the pond sort of thing. Also, I'm pretty sure they, I mean, they do generate a lot. They do. And they give a lot of it back too, which is not, people don't realize. A lot of Americans come here because of the boys. I think on their holdings they

pay like 80 tax or something like it's insane like they generate a ton of money i think most of the money that they generate through tourism goes back into the government like i think if you have issue uh with like the way all of this is uh like i i don't care either way but like a fact is a fact right like if you have issue with the way that money's being mismanaged, you should channel your anger towards the shitty government that's been in place for the last decade or so, and probably not the monarchy. I guess I'd rather not have them, but I'd also rather not have the Kardashians. I'd rather not have all these other reality TV stars either. We're sort of stuck with them. And you're right like people do say like oh the but the queen can veto things she can put a stop

to bad yeah but she doesn't make a difference but here's the thing if she did we would be like oh okay the queen's getting in the way right yeah we don't actually and then she wouldn't be the queen anymore which i mean they just they just make it as soon as as soon as there wasn't actually it's all it's all it's it's like these old laws that people don't enact anymore you know it's like there's a law from 1919 that says you know you can't you know go into a public restroom um with uh with a red hat on or some bullshit law no one's getting arrested for that right because it's out of date and in the same way sure we probably like the queen could in principle do these do makes you know make but put a stop to something going

through or decide not to choose a new prime minister or whatever that whatever her powers are but at the end of the day she is not ever going to do that because it's never been done since the hundreds of years. Yeah, I think the last queen that properly meddled in politics was probably Victoria. But even then, controversially, and the prince consort at the time was not happy about it and would constantly tell her not to. But even then, it was behind the scenes she couldn't just she she you couldn't really be outspoken uh on your views and stuff like that in that capacity even back then and this that's a long time ago right i honestly think one of the roles that the queen does is she has this ability or at least like a semi-power to scare the new people straight when they come in.

Yeah, that's her role. Because their first week in the job, they have to sign. Basically, one of the things that Liz Truss had to do in her first week was write to all the nuclear submarines and nuclear silos, telling them, writing that secret letter that goes in the vault in case the submarine loses contact with Great Britain. And what are their orders?

Are their orders to do a first strike on another country? Which is a terrifying thing to do, right? So that's one of the things which is like, oh, fuck, I'm actually- Even more terrifying that Liz Truss would have any sort of authority over that as well. Exactly. But then they have to go and see the Queen and meet the Queen and go through all this whole symbolic... Every Prime Minister talks about it, you know, that they go to these places and all of the

Queen's assistants and people have all this pomp and ceremony, all of these special hats and special things you have to do. And you can't kiss her head and you have to bend down. You have to wait in this antechamber for X minutes while you, while you know, you, you, the heralds play the trumpets,

you know, it's ridiculous, like an, an overwhelming and kind of reducing, you know, the, the, the thing about these,

these people is their, their power, their, their grandiosity, you know, it's in the same way that the church would build these epic buildings to kind of psychologically force you to be in awe of them and their power. And they didn't need to be like that,

but they found that it worked to have them like that. It cowed people. And I think that anyone coming in and trying to be the leader of the free world needs it it cowed people and i think that you know any anyone coming in trying to be the leader of the free world needs to be cowed somehow yeah um especially if they've got a fucking gigantic ego yeah um i like the ego i know it's it's front and center right now like that you know because the queen has died and it's it's it's dominating the news in the UK for sure. But it's not always like that, right? You hear about the royals every once in a while, like if they monumentally fuck up or, you know, a new ship is built or something like that.

But otherwise, you barely hear about them, right? I mean, the most we've heard lately, apart from her dying, was Prince Andrew being a nonce. Yeah, but that was 2019. That really awkward interview was years ago now right like and like yeah but we still hear about the only thing that's really happened since is uh i guess harry and megan which nobody really cares about oh my god my mom cares about that so much yeah i think all the gossip magazines do too she never shuts up about it she's on fucking on facebook i see her messages on all these articles about it she fucking hates them and like i was like what are you doing like what what have they actually done the thing that makes me laugh all the time with

the royals and people's perception of the royals and like all these gossip magazines and stuff like that is how they kind of try to equate them as normal people and yeah they will be normal people in some senses for sure but they're not normal people right they're not like you and me they're not they don't do their own laundry like right you know what i mean like these these people live really really different lifestyles right but then like i love how these magazines always try to like make them seem like oh you know maybe megan was just fed up because she had too much washing that day or whatever you're like all right come on like she's not a fucking housewife like like in the conventional sense right but like i guess it's like a way to relate to them or people like

to imagine them like that or whatever but man it's so funny like it's it is it is a weird thing to think about but i mean i i think we've moved away from so much of that idea of of servants you know cooking for us but i don't know how much you know they order take out and i still think they might just I still think they might do some things that we do I think they still will watch the new Game of Thrones and stuff

they do for sure they do all of these things they're not like lizard people doing like incubating the next brood of eggs but at the same time you know they don't just they don't go and walk behind their grandmother's coffin and then at five o'clock cop you know clock off and go home and put their feet up and have a wank watch emmerdale either

you know what i mean like you've been you're saying that the first thing you thought to do getting home for from a funeral of a relative was to bash one out highly sexually charged situation you know you're like all the rest of crap i'm wearing my really good underpants today like i'm feeling fruity it's like a fucking carnival down there in my pants but outside you know you got to be like all sad and stuff i don't know just getting all pent up you have to release all that you never felt really horny during a funeral before no because i always have a wank before the funeral oh right the preemptive strike it's the old prepared p flex yeah yeah all right well look what you got in the mailbag because otherwise we're never gonna do

anything yeah we're only 20 minutes in no problem problem. All right. This is from Hannah. Hi, Perion. And I think they mean all of us. Just you. It's my email address. No, it's fair enough. It's nice that you get a personal email just to you. No, it's fine.

It's for all of us. I love the show. Sadly, I have nothing interesting to say. That's a great opening to an email, by the way. I just wanted to say. What's in the rest of this fucking email then? One of your previous correspondents, or definitely a a listener might have been an ex-boyfriend of mine and she wanted to say hello to tom the geologist tom the geologist was an email that we read out however okay hannah

works in forensic and criminal justice so if we have any questions about justice the justice system and criminal justice we can ask ask hannah We have a new segment on the show called Ask Hannah. So do you guys have any pending questions about criminal and forensic justice? Yeah. She's from the UK, presumably. I assume so.

This is important, actually. Ask that. That could be the first question. I would say she is, yes. Her last name is very British. I'll put it that way. What is her last name? Like B. I'll put it that way. But again, you can't make assumptions in a criminal case. What is her last name? Like Basingstoke or something like that? It's like along the line.

I'm not going to say it because obviously I wanted it to have that. It sounds British. But it is a very British sounding last name. Mount Bratton Carlyle, like a double barrel. It's not that fancy. It's the opposite of fancy. No offence, Anna. She sounds like it's the last name I would expect from someone from fucking Sheffield or somewhere like that.

Oh, right. Right. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so we'll have a think about some questions. We have a how many we know. Well, yeah, I've got loads of questions. We'll send them out.

We can't be with P-Flex typing them out right now. Just think of one. I can't. Off the top of my head, I can't think of one. Okay? When are they going to legalize marijuana marijuana in this country how about that yeah there you go like there you go answer that riddle me this yeah when can i buy some when can i buy some uh weed legally here's a here's an actual uh sort of legal question as well, but you might have some experience with. How often are criminal cases resolved by a deal being done beforehand

to get the case sorted? Like a plea bargain. Plead to this and we'll just case close. You do three years, job done. We'll put you in witness protection. Also, your thoughts about the destruction of legal aid case closed you do three years job done we'll put you in witness protection and uh yeah also your thoughts about a lot your thoughts about the destruction of legal aid by these tory bastards and how miserable an effect that's had on the the justice system especially for the poor i'd like to

hear how many thoughts on that but related crimes yeah how many crimes involve arseholes? In the literal sense. A butt or the whole. Like an exposed butt. An exposed butt. I woke up and there it was, right in front of my face. His exposed butt. Yeah. I wonder if that's even...

I guess there must be quite a lot of grounds for a child. Oh, God, yeah. All right, we got our next email here. This is from Awful Player. So they're in the right place. This is an American lad, did jury duty, says that their experience was different because they were given printouts

of the legal definition of all the crimes they were being asked to rule on. Right. And their impression, basically, I don't have much confidence in the system as a whole, primarily because it relies on average people to make very important legal distinctions. Imagine how much stock you would put into the opinion

of some random stranger you might meet in a bar, then put a group of those people together, let them decide one of the most important things that could probably happen to you. I would say a solid 80 to 90% of candidates tried to get out of jury duty, with most reasons involving I'm really busy or I just don't want to.

So that's one thing they don't really want to be there. In the case I was assigned there was video evidence of the events. It was not much a plea of innocence as a degree of severity. It came down to a distinction between intent to do harm versus accidental harm. We had seven members, six primaries and a hidden alternate who was let go before final deliberations. I would say out of the seven, five have made up their minds almost immediately when it came to final deliberations four basically decided already but myself and another person insisted we at least do one last review we did end up finding the defendant guilty of the harsher crime but most of the jury wasn't really that

interested in having a thorough review of the evidence they just wanted it to be done so they could go home yeah that's well probably pretty much the way it is i think that is always has been even if you look at like classically 12 angry men right which is a fantastic movie yes it's black and white but get over it uh it's it it's only like 80 minutes long or something and i think it was a play beforehand or at least it it feels like a play very very good they remade it the original is really i mean basically it's you know 12 guys in a in a jury locked in a jury thing and and a lot of them are like this you know one guy's got got a lot of them are like i gotta go i've got family i've got jobs i don't care i just i'm gonna catch the game i want to go to the game yeah i would want to do

anything but be on jury duty honestly like if they summoned me, I would think of any excuse to get out of it. I think at the same time, you've got to appreciate that if it's an important thing and it's someone's life on the line, you can't shirk that responsibility too much. You still have to make the bare minimum effort to go through and give them some respect. Even you wouldn't wouldn't just be like i'm i don't care what happens to this person right you would care i would i would really want to see the process and want to be involved in it and try to make as good a decision as possible but most people you know they don't give a shit they just really don't give a shit and i i think

yeah you know they've been called up they don't fucking do it and they're just sick of it um and i think again maybe it leads into my earlier point though of like you know sometimes the people who don't want to do it are the right people to do it you don't necessarily want some someone coming in with an agenda right like some some racist guy saying well he's brown so he did it right you don't you need people to fight that and you also need people who you don't really want people who are like oh i can't wait to do jury duty so i can you know lay down some punishment on people who deserve it some right psychos you know you have to have the the balance right of the the the the the ordinary people i think people are inherently good yeah

they're lazy sure they don't want to be there sure but i think that um and having not done it i don't know whether this is the case in my in you know i didn't know i don't have anything to do i mean it might have just been a bad jury that the guy was on the the person who emailed in it might just have been a bad jury it might just be one of those times when it sucks. But I read a book, it's called Homicide, A Year on the Killing Streets. Yes, that's a great book, yeah. Great, great book. And in there they talk about...

It's David Simon. Yeah, it's David Simon. This is what formed the basis for Homicide. Yeah, the TV series. And then The Wire and all the rest of it. So very interesting. And in there the police talk about the fact that you can have everything in place for a conviction

and the jury just goes, no, we just don't think so. And they just acquit. Or the guy is literally, clearly didn't do it. And the jury's like, yeah, we just think he did it. And the guy goes down for it. He just looks guilty. He just didn't like what he said there. He picked his nose when he was on the stand. So I think he did it. And the guy goes down for it. So he just looks guilty. He just didn't like what he said there. He picked his nose when he was on the stand.

So I think he did it. You know, it's like literally that random. And the jury is like the worst part of the justice system. And I think Hannah to confirm, obviously, our legal expert standing by, but I'm pretty sure that most people that work in the legal profession would agree i would i would assume that the worst element of any trial is the jury yeah dealing with the jury is

the most fucking coin flip element and honestly just a fucking bag of bag of cats yeah it's like a game right like um you remember all the all the stuff that they had to go through with jury selection and all of the hoops and everything with big trials, like the OJ trial, for example. Oh, my God, yeah. Did they call it voir dieu? I think they call it voir dieu, which is like jury selection. Because in the States, you can come in and ask the jurors questions and say, we want this guy out of here. And you eventually settle on 12 people that are sort of yeah but they're just yeah they're just they're just lining up their um their their pieces to you know they they want

they want people that they can say this person is definitely going to vote in favor for us these are these are people that we're not sure about and then there's going to be a handful of people that you know for sure aren't going to vote in your favor or whatever, but you're just trying to, you're trying to assemble the board as, you know, if you will, like to- I feel like these elements are like tacked on. So obviously the trial by peers is a historic thing, but it's clearly flawed, you know, because, you know,

if you get a bias jury, then yeah's good that you're gonna lose and or win and so it's like it's like how do we try and get a neutral jury so then we have to have each side pick half of the jurors and then you know it's just it's kind of like continual like extra crap to try and fix what is not a very good system in the first place but what the fuck else is the other options? Yeah, because in a way, you don't want to be left in a situation where it's one person, the judge, going, yeah, I think you're right, he did it, bang.

Because that's like, what the fuck? And then their personal bias might come in to the sentencing decision and stuff like that. So having 12 people, however many are on the jury, decide things in a way since the law is based around reasonable suspicion and being a reasonable doubt you have to assume that between 12 people hopefully the reasonableness would average out yeah i mean some sometimes it's uh sometimes with cases though they're the you know like the the the evidence and everything

just speaks for itself, right? Yeah. And there's no question. People are just like, oh, whatever. You know what I mean? Be crazy to not convict this person or whatever. But it's the cases where it's like not – there's not an overwhelming amount of evidence. So it's left to kind of opinion or gut feelings about something.

Those are the ones that are the most unfair. I think there's so much of that. That's the thing. It's really terrible. And in a sense, if you've got a lawyer who's able to make funny quips and make the jury laugh and bring them onto his side, suddenly it's very polarizing. people are very much drawn to the funny man the kind of because because how can he be wrong you know he's he's nice he's a nice guy i believe it yeah you know i just like the like i know just from watching stuff as well like you know like the staircase making a murderer and stuff like that i feel like those cases especially the the evidence is not like super straightforward and then there there is a lot of emphasis on the on the jury being picked properly to to swing it you know either way or whatever as well there's a lot of like people coming into into the into the jury booth with uh preconceived notions of you

know what's happened how they feel about the the defendants or whatever and stuff as well. I feel like those cases are the worst ones, right? And they don't feel fair. This is definitely the impression that we get from the outside. I remember even on the staircase, they're trying to present this evidence that they found the murder weapon and everything. And there was so much evidence to the contrary. But you know what I mean?

so much evidence to the contrary but you know you know what i mean so so it's like all of a sudden you have this like really you know smoking gun piece of evidence but then it's you know it's presented as no that that can't possibly be right but then it's already been presented as like this oh this is the this is the one and and it And it would sway some people's opinions, right? Especially if they're not legally minded or if they're not even remotely reasonable. But think about this as well. How often does that thing just get lodged in the back of their mind? Yeah. So they're not even really aware of why they're swinging one way or another.

And they wouldn't be able... I mean, that's one of the reasons that quite often you'll see they'll say something that gets stricken for the record, the jury will disregard that. But you can't. It's like saying, don't think of an elephant. It's like literally the legal equivalent of that. Your Honor, I would like to invoke the don't think of an elephant law and say, my client didn't do it.

Strike that from the record. It's tough. Like in the case of the Sierra case, again, i'm just using it as an example but like the the uh the accused um uh sexuality was brought into it when it had nothing to do with the crime whatsoever but then there was so that was the implication that his motive was that she found out yeah but um but is that enough to bash someone's brains in because also apparently she knew i was a whole big thing anyway yeah yeah but but the but the but the the fact of the matter is is if you you know if if you're doing jury selection and you're really analyzing all of these potential jurors and then picking the ones that are like known homophobes or something like that well i mean good for you

you've you've pretty much won the case right Like, you don't even need evidence or whatever. You could just find these little dumb loopholes and get people to vote in favor. And you've done it. But, like, have you served? Has justice been served? Probably not. What is fascinating, though, is that we are even, we always have been fascinated by the, the, the murder mystery. Right.

And the idea that like, you know, when you watch all of these TV and movie based things, it's also clean cut and clean and obvious and tied up in a neat bow. But real crime isn't like that at all. And, and there's just so much of it is just based on suspicion or or and they don't have dna evidence for everything cases like that i'd say average average cases that go through

court are very straightforward though it's like yeah no i think you know yeah here we have uh video evidence of you killing somebody uh you're guilty you know like i mean like 99 of fucking court cases are probably simple straightforward legal shit around things like driving offenses yeah and then divorce settlements you might you might have settlements or you know like if uh if you injured yourself at disney world or something like that you know like you'd probably get a settlement before it went to court or whatever. Yeah, I guess any of these murders that Poirot or Knives Out style- Midsummer murders, all of the midsummer murders. Yeah, any of them would be global news. I just checked my calendar, there was a murder here every day last year.

But even worse, the killer in those always confesses. Well, yeah. At the end. Well, yeah, because they're all really posh. Yeah, they're super posh. So they're just like, well, the game is up. Well, looks like the party's over. Good show.

Well done, Poirot, I must say. A tip of the hat to you. Even worse in Poirot's time, because they were going to the hangman, you know, when they were found guilty. So it wasn't like they were going to the hangman you know when they were when they were found guilty you know so it wasn't like they were um no no monsieur brindley you shall be hanged by the until you are dead for the murder of lady chattelsworth and their partner monsieur bon appétit i'm i'm hyped for more daniel craig though being because there's a new Knives Out I didn't really get into the other one I got like halfway through and I was like

I'm just kind of bored I thought it was great I for one require more murder mystery movies I love them Some things are meant to be shared like sunsets over the Pacific,

picnics in Central Park, or Aeroplan points. Up to eight family members can share Aeroplan points together. With the TD Aeroplan Visa Infinite Card, earn up to 50,000 Aeroplan points. Aeroplan family sharing is a feature of the Aeroplan program. Conditions apply. Offer ends June 3rd, 2024. Visit tdaeroplan.com for details. Can we, can I tell you guys something interesting that happened to me this week, in fact? Is it going to be 10 minutes long and about a bath plug?

No. Okay, then crack on. I had an MRI scan. Oh, fuck me oh which i've never had before are you okay well i think so yeah i mean i well i guess they're gonna find out like that's why they did it jesus which part of you got scanned my abdomen like my my middle so that i had to go through the tube uh but uh i was like sticking out the other end because they're just like my uh my like my like my pelvic area was was being scanned did you get another dildo stuck up there yes yeah i had uh they find like a hundred pennies too many hot wheels cars yeah there's like a whole there's

like a whole fleet of ford um transit vans up my ass so um the the experience was wild though i didn't really know what to expect i didn't know how long it would take or or anything either how long did it take like half an hour geez but it can take longer depending i think with if they're scanning like if they're doing brain scans it's super loud yeah i mean they give you like headphones and sort of pipe the radio through so that it's it's bad. Did you do this in Jersey? Yeah, yeah, in Jersey, yeah. No, no, they got a really big MRI scanner in Jersey. It's nice.

So you went in. Did you have to get naked and put one of those butt robes on? Yeah, well, just like some – they gave me like a kind of like a loose shirt and then some pants, like some blue like like scrub pants i guess i don't know were you naked underneath those so it's like no no i just had my boxers they said just leave your underpants your socks and shoes on and then put put this on so i did okay and uh you couldn't i couldn't have any of my bling on i had to take all my jewelry off um so that i was upset about that yeah yeah i had to bring all my jewelry off. So I was upset about that.

Yeah, yeah. I had to bring my big flavor flavor clock. Like Mr. T having to get a fucking hammer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But nicely, they provide you with like a little locker so you can put all your stuff in and stuff. And then you get on, they put you on the little bed thing, sort of prop you up a little bit, put some headphones on you.

They give you this rubber button in case you get like freaked out in there because it is like pretty cranky like it's it's claustrophobic just to keep you company or no no because like if you're if you're in there it's like uh it's like it's like a really you know i imagine like crawling through like an air duct or something oh i couldn't stand it yeah yeah okay but what they do is they give you this uh angled visor with a mirror on it. So that, and then they put it like, you know, like Geordie LaForge style, like right close to your eyes. So that if you look directly at it, the mirror angles out to the back.

So you can actually see the back of the room. So you don't feel like you're actually inside the chamber. Oh my God. But it's a VR visor as well so there was like this uh there was like this nice like beach scene with like seagulls and like stuff flying around the clouds were moving and everything sounds like you went sounds like you went private if i may say so no no it's not it was it was not private at all it was it's just a huge uh huge huge huge machine with like a whole team running it you know and uh when you get in there

it's loud as fuck it's like great it's like beeping and revving up and you can hear it's like chugging and stuff it's kind of cool and then um they just sort of you can you got the headphones on so the lady that was operating the whole thing and doing the scans was like talking to me like the whole time so she'd be like okay stay still this next one's gonna take three minutes uh it'll be loud so but don't worry and i'll talk to you again in a minute. And then, so it just goes like, like making all these noises and stuff. And then, but you can't move at all. Cause if you move, cause they have to do like this pre planning for like the, for the scan or whatever. At one point I shuffled a little, cause my ass was like kind of sore

because I was just laying in the same spot for 20 minutes and i thought between scans i could just move around a little bit like adjust myself and she's like whoa wait a second did you just like did you just sit up completely i was like no i just i just shuffled a little bit like i was a little bit uncomfortable and she's like hang on a second i gotta replan out all the scans or something oh shit i thought i screwed the whole thing up but i think it was fine in the end but um but yeah it was uh it it was it was it was an experience for sure that is the worst just man it made me really appreciate how fucking awesome um modern medicine is as well because like yeah that's not you see the pictures that come out of that thing i didn't see my own but like i've seen some some pictures that come out of them and

it's it's fucking incredible man like so was this something that you you felt like your doctor was like we need an mri scan like a consultant i went to my doctor and my doctor referred me to a consultant and then the consultant's like okay we're gonna do this this this and this and then but part of it was like an MRI. And then there's like a couple of other things as well. Oh my goodness. Now I'm worried. Well, it's not, I don't, like, I'm not actually like super worried.

Like it's, it's, it's something, but it's also like probably not super serious. But when I know what it is, like, I'll tell you guys for sure, but I don't want to like unnecessarily. There's a new clutch of eggs that you're incubating. Yeah. It's, it's all those, it's all those like miniature Tonka trucks that a new clutch of eggs that you're incubating. Yeah, it's all those miniature Tonka trucks that are jammed up there too. Yeah, I mean, you've got to keep them somewhere, right?

Otherwise the kids will play with them. But I just, the whole experience was interesting though with the MRI and stuff. I know like I was talking to Northern Lion because he had like colonoscopy and a CT scan kind of recently, which is a little bit different. But I mean, I've never had anything like that. No scans, like nothing, you know, like I've had surgery once in my life and it was keyhole to have my gallbladder removed. But otherwise,

like I've never broken a bone or anything. So my experiences in the hospital are fairly limited. So being in that big machine that I've seen on TV enough times or whatever, like, you know, in the Sopranos and stuff, you just think, holy shit, like I've actually been in one of those. It was kind of cool. It was neat. It's impressive. I like that your vibe with it is a little bit like your son being impressed by a truck, you know? Yeah. It's like your dad going to an air show or something like that yeah i like that just marveling at the technology it is impressive though they are really cool seeing like um so when i used to work in chemistry lab we'd have some big fancy machines

are similar there's an nmr machine which is this nuclear magnetic resonance which is this um machine which is this nuclear magnetic resonance which is this um uses magnetic fields and liquid nitrogen to like fucking i don't know what does it's very complicated but the idea is to be able to use it to identify compounds a little bit like they do in the crime lab you know i'm sure they could one in the crime but it's a very expensive machine and very scary because it's got all these warning doors it's like you know do not enter this room you know because it will have super magnet magnets and then you went in there didn't you do not go past this line there's always some idiot who brings a pair of scissors in there or something you know it's like it's like the whole premise of uh charlie and the chocolate factory was just that right it was like yeah do not here's a here's a crazy factory don't step out

a line and everybody does right like yeah apart from charlie except for except for charlie but then even then he's rewarded with scorn at the end right well no actually he does he gets the uh he gets like the the super tour but there is a point where you think holy shit he goes up in the glass elevator at the end actually do you not remember charlie i do remember yeah yeah yeah and and with his granddad burping in the uh big fan room fucking grandpa maybe that's why i was so into like maybe that's what helped get me into like chemistry and working in these from the lab you were watching charlie chocolate factory as a kid. I definitely was. Mummy! Can I be a new Palumpa when I grow up?

Mummy! Yes, Lulu? I want to be a chemist like Willy Wonka. Well, he's not a... I want to be a chemist like Willy Wonka! Very well, Lewis. Wow. That is not how that conversation went down, P-Flex. I can assure you.

We got an email here. We got an email. This is meant to be a mailbag episode. We've done two. Well, we could just make it a regular episode. Who cares? We'll do a mail one. Man, it's like a hybrid.

It's like half normal and half mailbag. It's fine. This is something we were talking about a few episodes ago, actually. This is from Harley. Hi, Perrion. I thought I'd tell you of an extremely awkward moment yesterday while traveling home. Sorry, to work on the bus, listening listening to triforce through my earphones and i think a guy either heard it or saw me looking at it on spotify over my shoulder so he felt he should let me know that he has a tiny

penis and there were several old people on the bus and a couple sat directly three feet away he did not really say this quietly so much so that the old woman of the pair looked over in what i could only describe as horror and anguish i turned to him and just said you're right then and didn't speak to him anymore as i thought i would have died of embarrassment lads if you're listening to this and you're that guy what the fuck yeah chill pass a note just a little pass a note just give a little tap hand a note that just says i have a tiny penis and the person could turn and nod at you more rather than saying it i understand this right i was walking through queen square the other day and i heard like the squeal of brakes and they're like a van like shuttered to a stop in the middle

of the road right and i was like whoa so i looked around and the guy's like staring at me he gets out he runs over to me he's just parked his van diagonally in the middle of the road. And he's like, oh, my God, it's Lewis. I'm like, yes, nice to meet you. He's like, can I get a picture? I was like, sure, sure, sure. And so then, like, so he took a picture with me. But it was like, because it was like in the shade and it was really dark. It looked terrible.

And he was like, oh, I'll just get, we'll get a better one. And I was like, okay. So obviously there's like traffic is already building up. Okay, around this van. Yeah. He gets back in and parks it up. And we took a nice picture in Queenscreen and had a little chat. But he was obviously shocked.

And he was a really nice guy. And it was really nice to meet him. But it was kind of like this reaction. Sometimes people react in different ways, P-Flax. It's like going back to the courts thing. Sometimes people react in different ways that you don't think will be normal you know maybe this guy on this bus you know who saw this guy was just like you know he was just he just wanted to share that he's never had an opportunity to to to be excited and share his passion with someone else before

you know he's never met another trififorce listener, maybe, or doesn't know anyone. Like, maybe his wife's sick of hearing it, you know? His girlfriend's like, oh, those old idiots. Don't listen to them, you know? I'm the same. Like, I'll listen to, I'll watch some YouTubers and my partner will

abuse me about it, you know? Really? Yeah. And, you know, you're not supposed to like the stuff your partner likes always you know always there's definitely some crossover uh content though that you can both appreciate for various reasons like uh you know married at first sight and stuff like definitely i've got into um crossover good mythical morning i love those guys now and i thought i wouldn't you know i think i also have an aversion to other creators certainly podcasts and youtube to some extent like i'm almost like

some part of me is jealous of them right because they're clearly funnier and more talented and more high production values than i am they clearly work really hard at it and they really care and i sort of i feel like i almost feel partly bad because i'm like oh i wish i was was like this or i wish i had as much positive energy as they do you know i'm almost jealous of their like of how nice they look and that like people who take selfies i'm like oh i kind of hate you you know but i think once you're over that hump and they're not such a stranger anymore because that's that's the other thing about these these creators right is that they they think they know them we talked about this all the parasocial stuff before maybe this guy who stopped in the van you know felt like he knew me which he kind of did because you know this is me he listens to me all of these times talking i mean i i feel

like as soon as i know these people like like Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning, I'm like, oh, these are my best friends now. I love this show. And it's weirdly, even in my head, it goes from me disliking them and being jealous of them to really enjoying their content and watching it every day in like a very kind of short time span. And it's very irrational. It's very crazy when you when you try and

it sounds like i'm schizophrenic around it you know almost like i'm like flipping back and forth but but that's just kind of how humans are they they make weird calls on people and you know you think you know whether someone is good or bad you know know, just by looking at them. Whereas you've got no evidence at all. It's fascinating stuff, PFlex. What's the next one? Give us the next one. Okay. I needed to get that out.

Sorry. I hope you feel better. It's been building up inside me. Yeah, thank you. This is what this podcast is. It's like sometimes just Lewis's rants. This is from a nurse. This works in high care neurosurgery they've done this for a decade uh and they say that e-scooters are the bane of their

life because the number of people that have had devastating brain injuries from these scooters is unbelievable when i see devastating i mean pretty much comatose not able to communicate long-term tracheostomies whatever that is peg slash nasal gastric tube feeding and will be in this state for the rest of their lives needing full care with absolutely everything not even younger people i looked after a 50 year old lady the other day wear a fucking helmet you only get one brain and you're pretty useless without it working properly i mean i have managed thus far without a properly functioning brain but yes this nurse is correct uh remove remove uh e-scooters from your from your daily riding habits

unless wearing a helmet, I suppose, is the message there. Do be careful. Definitely get those helmets on. Yes, please. Don't be... I don't want no triforce distance in a coma. Don't take big risks with your noggin like that. You've only got one.

You only have one noggin. Although I think probably that... I was going to say, you can visit people in the hospital and put headphones on them to play music to them and stuff. And maybe, maybe something familiar sounds, you know, if you're listening to this and you're in a coma, snap out of it. Come on, get up, come back to, come back to us, Dave. We need you. Can I tell you something else exciting that happened to me this week that I would like to share with you guys?

It turns out actually a lot has happened. And if this podcast has put you in a coma, I'm very sorry. Yeah, no. If you're in a coma, you're going to wake up after this one. This is insane. Okay, let's hear it. Okay. So the other day, Ricky Gervais tweeted and he said,

Whenever you're feeling down about life and thinking that no one cares, just remember that you'll be dead soon and none of this will matter have a great day to which i replied on twitter thanks exclamation mark and he liked my tweet immediately and i just thought that's pretty cool actually you know like that's this is ricky's your face he liked my he liked my reply that is the internet that you could do that yeah yeah yeah i felt so close to him in that moment i just thought wow this is great and you know why i showed my wife and my mother-in-law and they were just like holy shit like this is insane like they couldn't believe it i was just kind of like oh whatever you know like i'm on twitter all the damn time they were just they couldn't believe it i love this story believe it right so there

you go fascinating you're very quiet maybe jealous well you don't like ricky gervais facts at all do you you think he's a dick gosh i've had a very uh aggressive email here oh right oh he's just stunned by something else all right we won't talk about i i'm big fan of rick gervais i'm impressed yeah i thought it was did you respond immediately is that why so he was like i think i caught him while he was like because he just tweeted it in that window where he had still had to tweet up and so he was he was frantically refreshing watching all the likes coming in and stuff i think he he hadn't wiped yet so he was just sat on the toilet with right that's mostly what where i caught him at the perfect time but man i was i was wow what if as he liked your reply

his poo hit the water do you think he liked my reply and then immediately muted me or maybe even why did why would he have done that like well i'm just i don't know why anybody would ever do that I think your reply was so generic yeah thanks I think that it was there's no way he would have read the sarcasm in that if there even was any do you know what I mean yeah I think you'll be

alright Sips alright you alright Pflex you'd be shell shocked by a horrible email he got an aggressive email. What was it like? How aggressive are we talking here? Do you not want to share it? Well, it's football related. Oh, right.

Here we go. This is from some fucking idiot who's a Portsmouth fan. Oh, no. Called, awkwardly enough, Lewis. Whoa, he's a Pompey fan. It might be me. I love the Pompey. Fuck off.

So this is about Brexit football we were talking about Brexit right what is that well if you let me read the fucking email sorry he's all he's this guy he's he's already all jacked up because of the aggressiveness yeah Sean Sean Sean Dyche ex Burnley manager gravel for breakfast. Brexit footy is long ball, tough, defensive football that Sean employed in his time in charge of Burnley in order to get results with a very cheaply put together squad. I'm going to stop doing it because it's going to hurt my throat, but that's what Sean Dyche sounds like.

Harks back to 80s football on muddy pitches where the ball spent most of the time in the air and has connotations to the idea that Brexit is long for the old days. For me, as a hater of the Premier League, and I'll come back to that in the air, and has connotations to the idea that Brexiteers long for the old days. For me, as a hater of the Premier League, and I'll come back to that in a moment, it's proper footy, proper tackles, proper lads giving their all. Plus Burnley were an unpopular club

due to their traditional ground and smaller tenancies, much like shitty Bournemouth. But because they pass the ball a bit and are in the South, they don't get slated. This is from Lewis the Pompey fan. P.S. Scumhampton and irrelevant Bournemouth, both 9-0 embarrassments. LOL. Play up Pompey. Interesting, Lewis, that you are a hater of the Premier League now that you are so fucking far from it because Portsmouth were in the Premier League for some time, weren't they?

And you fucked it up the wall with your stupid signings and let Harry Redknapp run willy-nilly with the checkbook. And where are you now? me just look at west portsmouth where's portsmouth uh fc playing let's just have a little a little check oh you're in league one get fucked but they're playing teams that are towns i've never heard of honestly where the fuck is crawley town exactly exactly jeez i just think it's ironic oh this is this is proper football. I prefer this. Now that you're so fucking far off from Premier League and you're a dump of a town and dump of a ground and shithole team.

Oh, no, we're near the Premier League now. I hate the Premier League. But when you were up there, you fucking loved it. So is Brexit football just boring football? Is it just like grinding defensive football that's uninteresting? Exactly. just like grinding defensive football that's uninteresting? Exactly. Just like to wear it down. Is it like the boxers

who just get punched until their opponent tires out and then they punch them once? Yeah. I'm only kidding Lewis, obviously. That's Lewis from fucking Portsmouth. He's only messing with you, Lewis. Did you guys see the footage of that guard who collapsed at at the uh

at the queen lying in state uh you know like how that she's got all those guards yeah the guards are collapsing every fucking six hours they gotta stand there for and this guy just fully poor guy man he just fully collapsed face planted on the ground like holy it's so so common when you stand to attention like that like to for people to faint man it's i've seen it happen to like tons of people when i was in the cadets it used to happen all the time we go to memorial sunday all the time you're just having to stand there in uniform for an hour and a half and kids just fucking keel over yeah honestly that the the officers are on lookout to catch people honestly and they they you know

because it just it's so common imagine doing that in the heat if she died in the summer in the 41 degree heat fucking hell we don't imagine you imagine you rocked up there took your post and you're like all right you know it's only six hours i'll be fine and then all of a sudden you started getting some tummy grumbles and you're like, fuck, I've got diarrhea. You've got itchy ass. No, you just got full on fucking, just like the initial pangs of like really bad diarrhea. Yeah, that awful, gurgling, slightly painful stomach turn where you think, oh, fuck. Yeah, and every time you fart, you're worried that some leakage has occurred

sort of this is this is going to be mud butt all day oh man imagine that just having to weather through that for six hours while you're standing on guard holy shit i guess there's going to be no you know you're also on that sort of stuff you you can't just have a big night or an unlucky night out right where you've had you know eating something bad that's gonna give you problems like you can't be rushing to the toilet every 20 minutes can you yeah i'm guessing that when they do this duty that morning they've eaten something really stodgy and then they take some imodium before they go on i would i would do two things if i was doing that if i was on guard duty uh for six hours a day the first thing i would would do, like Flax just said, Imodium for sure.

Even if I didn't feel like I was going to have diarrhea, I would just preemptively take some Imodium just to make sure. Another thing I would do is I would jack off as well. Because, no, listen,

if you're standing there for six hours, your mind's going to wander. And if you're standing there and you're getting horny and stuff, and you're threatening some you're standing there and you're getting horny and stuff like uh and you're you know you're threatening like some like little boners or whatever you can't have it like it's just impossible so you must jack off before you do guard duty i think like i think maybe just to like is that a boner in your trousers Colin! Sir, you said stand to attention, sir.

That's such a carry-on joke, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Oh, fuck me. Oh, man. All right, we've got time for a couple of quick emails. This is from Alex. We talked about call centering, being in a call center, working from home. Basically, y'all are right.

Thanks, Alex, for referring to us as y'all. I love that. The calls do just come in. You get a beep. You better get ready to talk. Most days you're swamped from start to end of shift. Barely have time to touch existing customer cases. Other days it can be slow.

You could be sitting there playing your Switch or whatever. My coworkers and I always have a Zoom channel running to chat shit and ask questions when we're not on calls. Interestingly, I went into office a few times after reopening from COVID and found it less productive because it's just rows and rows and stalls of people in other roles just standing around talking over you or goofing off yeah uh so yeah alex says working from home best thing ever yeah so fuck you lord sugar and your dumb opinion oh that's right it was about lord fucking bellend sugar wasn't it yeah yeah bellend what great word bellend yeah i love that i love calling somebody a bellend i love calling somebody a twat i love

calling somebody a cunt as well man oh god yeah man there's the there's a few things that are so satisfying in this life you know and somebody's just acting like one and you're just like what you know you know what mrs f really doesn't like to use that no she doesn't like me me to use no which is fair enough but you know what occasionally she'll break it out if she really is doesn't yeah yeah that's how i know she's fucking this person's on a it's like reserved it's reserved for very heated moments yeah i'm definitely more sparing with it just i am as well but uh yeah i know my wife like i would never say it around my kids or anything like no god jesus this is uh this is from bradley oh man i'm watching okay i'm watching the the guards are changing i've always wanted to see this you should see them coming in there's just a

whole new regiment of them there's about eight of them no ten of them oh man everybody stopped to look as well this is kind of cool actually it's the changing of the guard yeah but it's a no but it's the lying in state changing of the guard where are you watching just on the bbc news channel they got a live stream of it you can watch it if you just had it on in the background it's kind of soothing i play i tell you what it's touching as well when you see people coming in and they're like bowing to the coffin and stuff it's kind of nice to know that people you're allowed one minute yes which is fair no i'm just saying that like the queue is is five miles long uh yesterday it was five miles

yeah it's like a 12 plus hour wait apparently to get through but they're expecting like fucking millions of people to go oh god yeah it's insane i just can't imagine i'm fair play to these people but i can't imagine saying cancel the plans for this week we're driving down to london we'll stay in a hotel and we're going to queue up for 12 hours you don't need to fucking stay in a hotel there's people 30 hours on the concrete they're camping but apparently you're not allowed sleeping bags some people have babies and everything i don't know how they're managing it's it's i can't i can't leave my house for five minutes with the baby. They're like 12 hours. What the hell?

I can imagine dragging your kids to stand in a queue for that length of time. I'm going to say it. That's bad fucking parenting right there. I'm sorry, but that is bad parenting. Don't do it. My baby loves the queen. What the fuck? Madam, no crying babies in the queue.

You have to go to the back. Hey, apparently for the funeral, they've invited all these people to come and they've said, when you land at Heathrow, we're going to put you all on a bus to take you to the funeral. Like, these are like world leaders and stuff.

No way. And Joe Biden's like, I'm not taking the bus. Yeah. He's got his own fucking tank in the back of Air Force One and stuff. Like, he's going to cop on the bus. You can't put President Biden in a fucking bus yeah like no mr president any world leader in a fucking

do not go on this bus stick a few in there yeah i guess the i guess the eco-friendly ones like jacqueline and you know you could chuck the dutch on there the scandys will do it no problem maybe the germans the french won't they got to go on a bicycle with a ring of onions around their You could chuck the Dutch on there, the Scandies will do it, no problem. The Scandies will do it, yeah. Maybe the Germans. The French won't. They've got to go on a bicycle with a ring of onions around their neck and a hoopie sweater. That's the only way that they'll fucking get there. So, interestingly, with this lying in state business, like for the Queen, obviously,

and King and stuff, but apparently they also extend this to some prime ministers. Like for instance, Winston Churchill lied in state when he passed away. But he was actually a prime minister that people liked. Yes, because I don't think Thatcher lied in state. I think it would be a gamble. I think it would be a big gamble. I think it would be. I think there'd be some trouble.

But it's interesting, right? Like, I don't know. I'm sure, like, other countries with monarchies have this sort of thing. But I don't know, like the maybe just because we live in Britain and we're much more aware of it or whatever. But it seems like it does seem very unique, right? Like, I don't think they would do anything like this for presidents in America or whatever. Even though there is quite a bit of pageantry around presidents and stuff. Oh, there's a lot of pageantry.

Yeah, I don't know if it would be you know you know one of the other leaders they did this uh was it lenin i think they they stuck in a glass coffin for people to come and look at yeah that's yeah that's that's interesting yeah yeah they've done it a lot with with people like that i think some of them are still on display in a very grim way yeah so here's here's one one to end on a light-hearted one uh but one that i think i would like to hear sips's take on this i know what mine is it's from bradley uh this question applies more to period and sips okay apologies lewis yeah you often talk about your attraction to other women and say things like big bazonge yeah i've often wondered what your wives must

think when they hear things like this from the room over as a 25 year old if my girlfriend heard me talk about other girls and their bazongas uh i'd likely not have a functioning penis huge fan and cheers um i think i i've certainly i i've been with mrs f since 1995 so 27 years we've been together uh she has heard me refer to bazongas so many times over the years and luckily she's a confident woman who is assured by the fact that we have been together for 27 years that me talking about other women's bazongas is meaningless drivel yeah i think i'm not actually latching onto them like some kind of limpet and clamping myself onto random pairs of bazongas

and be like oh these are my bazongas now yeah i you know i'm a married man but that doesn't mean i don't have eyes and can't see a crack in a set of norks coming it's a it's an it's an interesting one i think it's context and i think it's like uh like thread assessment too with uh with with women or at least in in my case no but listen okay so if i comment on somebody's bazongas if we're watching tv together and i say holy crap look at's bazongas, if we're watching TV together and I say, holy crap, look at those bazongas. My wife would be like, yeah, she's got huge bazongas. Like, you know, we can identify somebody who has like just a big pair of bazookas and talk about it together. And it's not like, it's not me being like, oh, look at those bazongas. Like, I'm not like getting horny about it.

Like we're commenting on them right uh alternatively if i came home from work and i was like oh my god you should have seen shelly's tits today at work they were magnificent she would be uh you know rightfully so exactly there's a difference yeah i mean it's it's it we're like it's it's always joking around i would never comment uh hornily on somebody's tits ever yeah i'm not i'm not like elbowing miss no love look look at that bird's chebs over there look at the fucking chebs on her like no no it would be a comment that we would make either as a joke i don't know if you're like this with your wife flex but me and my wife are at the point in our relationship where we will just talk about like how people look like regardless of their sex as well.

Like if we're watching a show and somebody's handsome, I'll be like, holy crap, that is a very handsome man. He's really good looking. And my wife will be like, yeah, I mean, like, no doubt. But that's always countered with some sort of downside that we both recognize that we'll then talk about as well you know what i mean like yeah it like it disarms the whole thing sort of thing and it's just like uh it's just a natural way for you to just be a bit superficial in private with your significant other yeah exactly and we do it all the time and it's all the time it's nice time. It's nice.

I think it's deluded to think, it's absolutely insane to think that if you're in a relationship with someone, you're suddenly not attracted to any other members of the opposite sex. No. The reality is that you are going to be, and if your partner or your spouse is blind to that,

then that's a problem with that relationship you've got with them i think that i think i don't like this idea that you know you can't you know that that you know being nice to a waitress or someone means suddenly you're attracted to them and then you've got this idea that you have the girlfriend has to be jealous of that yeah i think it's it's it's it's all it's it's it's very high school musical yeah it's it's kind of almost naive right like to to to or or deliberately sabotaging a relationship to not acknowledge that like maybe it's because my my partner is um bisexual in a sense and so am i a little bit but that in the we can talk about people and acknowledge that, yes, this person is attractive or that looks good.

But I think that we are in a relationship together and we both know that we are not going to be unfaithful. And we trust each other enough that that means nothing. Me acknowledging that someone's got nice boobs, if I was to do that, which is not a thing that I particularly would do anyway, just casually. was to do that, which is not a thing that I particularly would do anyway. No. Just casually. Like you said, it has to be loaded. Unless I'm kind of being really creepy about it or, you know,

or aggressive about it. If you're creepy about it, people will pick up on that. And that's upsetting for sure. But I think that if it happens to be a thing where, you know, someone's looking great, you're like, well, damn, you know, she or he was looking great today and you'd be like yeah they've really improved themselves or they look great or that looks good on them you know i think in a sense it's also about taking lessons because if i see someone attractive i'm like you know maybe i should maybe i should take a lesson from what they're wearing or how they how they are standing i think that's all perfectly balanced and normal

but for some people even noticing that someone else attractive, or has a large pair of tits is like, oh my god, that's so inappropriate. So I think some people are kind of quite repressed and terrified of noticing other human beings. Yeah. I think they- They think it's creepy automatically if you see someone else and say they're attractive. You have to read the room too, right?

If your partner is somebody who doesn't like comments about other people's looks or whatever, you just have to recognize that and that's it. I'm never going to make a public comment about the size of someone's breasts or whatever. I might make a comment about how they look nice in a dress or nice in a top or nice in a pair of shoes or whatever. I'm never going to say,

look at, oh, did you's that giant set of tits you know what about like the theoretical that that's the bordering creepy though i bet she'd look great in a thong or something like that and then they're like that is bad yeah that is bad why are you thinking it's weird yeah i think that i think you can safely acknowledge that people are attractive you know but it's the way that you – if you're constantly bringing up how other women are attractive in a way and you're almost implying that your partner isn't, then that's a problem.

I think there's healthy things to do and unhealthy things to do, and I think that we – You've got to find a balance. Yeah. I think you might get the impression that we're not sensitive, but we are like you guys. We're trying our best to make these relationships their own work and have a happy wife, happy life. So yeah, I think, thank you for the comment, but I'm pretty sure P-Flax and Sips aren't just constantly bringing up giant tits when they're out on the street.

Like, whoa, did you see those massive pair of baps that just went by? It car over look at those that's me in the van when i see them that's like that guy that screeched the van to a halt for an autograph with you i screeched the van over to get out and say oh mrs look at the size of the chubs on this body and they back in the van and i'm off yeah no that's not what you guys were saying about the selfies and stuff made me realize like uh recently most of the people i've met nobody's asked for a selfie and maybe i like maybe i'm just fucking old and ugly you know like nobody wants a picture with me like sometimes it's it's really like 50 50 yeah i think you've just had a few conflicts a lot of people i meet don't want to take a selfie because i'm kind of happy when people don't want one though like i don't mind just having like

standing there and having a chat for a couple of minutes and then moving on i don't need to have a picture and stuff like i'm cool just to say hi and like how you doing also i'm worried that like i'm worried that the selfie that they take if i'm not looking very happy in it they're gonna remember that meeting with me as this sort of thing where Lewis was very unhappy when I met him, you know. I don't know. It's just a bad picture, dude. Does anybody ever go back to look at those pictures, though?

Realistically? I wondered that, and I assume that they just end up on their phone. I've got tons of pictures on my phone that I've never looked at. I think pictures do shape your memory, though, of stuff. Like, if you looked really happy and think, you could say, oh, that was really great and went here.

And then actually you look at your diary or whatever. It's like the worst holiday ever. You know, it just happened that there was a nice picture. I guess most people take a picture of something to post it somewhere immediately and then forget about it. Right. Yeah. I mean, I had like I took a selfie with Ghostface Killer and like, you know, I posted it on Twitter, but I've never looked at it again. Like now that I've remembered that I have it, Twitter, but I've never looked at it again.

Like now that I've remembered that I have it, maybe I'll go back and look at it. Don't worry, when you're in the home, we'll have that sort of family book. Get me my iPhone 6. That's me and Ghostface Killer. This is you. Do you remember Ghostface Killer, Chris? Do you remember Ghostface Killer?

Yes. You had a nice time with him, didn't you? I remember him yeah i filled my diaper back into the coma with you um all right well that's that's that thank you very much everyone that was um that was a little little little magical sprinkling of fairy dust on that podcast and tom H will make it spiffy. Good luck. Keep all the bazongas.

Keep whatever you want. You're in charge. I think a sprinkle of mail bag livens up the episode. I like that. It was nice. Weave it in amongst the other. Maybe we should use it as a seasoning rather than as a full meal. It was hard to do the mailbag this week, though,

because I had so many cool stories to tell. It's just been such a big week. I just thought, you know what? I know we were going to give Tom the big up, but I'm just going to give the big up to this week. My week has been worthy of a big up, I think. Tom, we're taking away your big up. Not the MRI staff or the queen or anyone else.

Just your week. We're taking away the big up for tom yeah sorry maybe next time but my week uh maybe next week to get the big up yeah yeah all right good well good okay good that we decided on he was getting big up see you then see you all right bye