Triforce! - Triforce! #236: The Language of Love

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

Triforce! Episode 236! We're discussing each other's Love Language, Lewis and Simon get told amazing stories by Brian Blessed and Sips gets his b-hole blasted! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everyone. Good morning. That's what I want the internet to be. Me groaning like I've woken up. It sounds like a bit of a posh groan, like a Prince Philip or like a... Like a ghoulish. Like a bit of a ghoulish groan. Just imagine King Charles stretching in the morning.

When he's awake. Working all those knots out. Yeah, I've been watching The Crown and I made it up to season four. And let me tell you, season four, you have Prince Philip, Prince Charles, which you would have been at the time, and Margaret Thatcher. And the groaning levels are just like off the fucking charts with those three. It's just like constant. It's good, though.

I've been sneezing. Sorry, I just sneezed over you. I'm worried I've got a cold or something today. Everyone has, mate. Everyone has. It's half the has is it's cold and flu season yeah and um or i've just it's not i've caught a chill i've been rained on i'm run down i'm weakened my immune system is i've not been looking after myself that's that's what it is i think i'll say i'll be honest i'll be honest with you um the kids have gone back after summer break takes it takes a

couple of months to really kick in but once it starts it spreads like wildfire my eldest is never sick she never ever gets sick never she hardly ever has to take a day off school she had three days off school this week she was poorly properly poorly so i mean if she's getting sick jesus christ jesus talking to margaret thatcher apparently she never had a sit she was never i Properly, poorly. So, I mean, if she's getting sick, Jesus Christ. Jesus. Talking to Margaret Thatcher, apparently she never had a sick... She was never... I was never sick a day in my life. I can't do Margaret Thatcher.

I think she just had this crazy work ethic from having like a really, really boring childhood. Because I think her dad was a shop owner and an alderman, right? I think so, yeah. She spent all day in a shop and then watched him write speeches and then went to the conferences where he would do his speeches and that was her whole childhood stuff yeah really cool isn't it yeah hold on i have to ask mrs f a very quick question it's all right it doesn't matter if it goes out on the podcast love that wasn't a vegetarian sausage and egg muffin was it okay good all right no it's excellent i was

just saying the sausage was really good and I thought you tricked me again. You remember what happened last time you tricked me? She does it. She'll do it. She'll just give me a sausage roll and I eat it. She's like, that's a vegan sausage roll. It spices things up though, right? They say variety is

the spice of life, right? Like sometimes getting pranked. It's just a little prank. Like don't worry about it. I think they're little marks of love though, those things. Oh yeah, no, we love to mess with each other, but very subtly. Like we don't prank at each other and stuff like that. Did we talk about this on the podcast? I can't remember.

For some reason, loads of people I was hanging out with started talking all about their love language. Love language? Well, like dirty talk. So, there's this thing called love language which you're supposed to be a specific archetype. Oh, right. What makes you fall in love with people or how people express their love for someone. And it's kind of this slightly bogus ideas but the five are compliments

like words of affirmation so it's like that people some people love that and some people love giving that some different spending quality time that's the second one right the next one is receiving and giving gifts right which does a fat load count as a gift? I was going to say, like, when you're doing it, like, on somebody's face and you say, with my compliments. Oh, my God. Does that count as a gift? I don't know. That depends. And then acts of service is the next one.

So, that's like, you know, I guess making, doing the laundry or something. Yeah. And then physical touch is the last one, which I think by default, everyone seems to think that's the thing they like. It's just the best one, honestly. Honestly, I've been married for 20 years. I've never thought about any of this stuff. No, no. I wouldn't break it down.

I'd say it's a combination of all of them. It really is just a combination of all of them. I feel like with a lot of this stuff, and maybe this is not a great take or maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like a lot of this stuff comes from people who have had a successful relationship or are happily married, but they just can't help themselves, but to give people advice that is never really going to work sort of thing. Like imagine somebody really taking all of this on board and then trying to robotically become a well-balanced version of all these things rather than just being themselves and

meeting somebody who accepts them for just being themselves. I don't think it's trying to force people to do something different, but I think basically that he says that in order to discover someone else's love language, you must observe the way they express love to others, analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often. And people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love. And couples can have a better communication if they demonstrate caring. This is all bollocks.

And I'll prove it to you. Via the other person's love language. I'll prove it to you. Example would be, if a husband's love language is acts of service, he may be confused. He may be a cuck. He does the laundry and his wife does not perceive that as an act of love, simply just performing household duties. Right.

The love language she prefers is words of affirmation oh right so he he needs to express his love to her i guess it's like it is this and here's what you listen just do all the time you go on you go people all right so all of this shit that talks about how you need to analyze this and change your behavior that if you guys are together and it's not going well, I don't think you're going to be able to actually genuinely turn it around in any meaningful way and suddenly adjust the way you do things day to day all the time. Because you can't just do it for a couple of weeks. But that's basically saying you need to analyze this and become a completely different person otherwise this relationship isn't going to work i would suggest the relationship

isn't working because you guys just aren't getting along and it just hasn't worked out how about that rather than saying we need to fix it it's not a fucking carburetor you can't just take it apart fix fix a couple bits oil this grease that and put it back together it's just not working that's it and if it does work you don't need to fucking analyze it i think there is a lot of people who have are unhappy in their relationships but they're staying together for the kids or they want to stay together and but they've got distracted by something either yeah some sort of negative hobby or like i don't know just watching too much porn or god knows what it is right that's caused them to like fall out of love with each other.

And the therapy and couples counseling is a thing that does bring people back together and can revitalize a flagging relationship. I'm not saying that we should chuck it out the window, but no, I think that like, like there's definitely an element of that P flex. You shouldn't try and be fake to. I just think, can you really keep that going? I think it's hard to get to the point where you have to do a complete reversal of things that have happened which is change your personality really hard for most people to do let's face it like most people will not just change a huge aspect of their life on a whim but also even if they try to change dude i mean can you

really maintain that? Here are some things I think that you genuinely can't. I think the damage has kind of been done by then too, right? If you're at the point where you've recognized or your partners recognize that you really need to change, it's going to take so much work to undo. This is going to be so hard. It sucks, right? I think, honestly, in terms of marriage counseling, I know a few people who've gone through this. Honestly, in terms of marriage counseling, I know a few people who've gone through this.

I think the main thing is the resentment builds up over unspoken bones of contention, right? There'll be some problem between you two that isn't being talked about. And if it all comes out, everybody gets very emotional and it can get out of control very quickly. The key, I think, is in any kind of situation where a relationship is struggling, is if you get a third party, like a marriage counselor, say, to essentially mediate, what needs to happen is the airing of all the dirty laundry and the cobwebs and all the rest of it. Once that's come out and you're saying why you're frustrated, that's how people start to come back together. And whatever you guys, when people got together, whatever it was in the early days it will have changed over time because i mean like you know you and i are in the same boat chris we've been together with our partner a very long time yeah and we've gone from being just goofy kids together to being responsible adults with children and mortgages and shit like

that yeah you're not the same person no over that. You've changed. But neither is your partner. No, exactly. Because the two of you, hopefully, in that time, will have evolved together, right? Right. And become stronger. But you've been through so many things together. So many key moments.

It's never perfect, though. No. I wouldn't say that it's perfect for me. I'm happy. Things go well a lot of the time but there's there's still things that are not like a problem for us but there's there there's definitely like issues external issues a hundred percent that crop up time and time again but we're so used to talking about them and dealing with them that even that evolves right but it's ongoing it's not just like okay

we've we've solved this and we're done and we're never gonna talk about it's ongoing it's not just like okay we've we've solved this and we're done we're never gonna talk about it again that's very not healthy either right like we're also problem solving guys who will look at a problem and be like well that's this thing if there's not a problem we're not talking about it and if there is a problem how do we fix it i'm really interested in fixing all of the problems but no there's there's always stuff there's there's there's recurring things for sure that we've just like i said we've gotten used to discussing at length and we know where we stand on it but it's something it's like you know it'll be something that's a trigger point for one of us where you know we threaten to go off on one and the other

person will have to you know what i mean there's there's there's tons of little things like that right and it's just i i feel that that's just what a relationship with another person is like sometimes, right? There's like- What are like, give us an example of some- I want to find out what your love language, or you think your love language might be, is this book, right? I don't know if I like that. Give me an example of something that you do loving to your wife? I think the key to our relationship, right, is that she makes me laugh and I make her laugh and I try to make her have one big laugh every day. Like really, really make her laugh. That's a good one. Yeah.

And it's not like I go out of my way to do it. I'm just that funny. But it really, I think that like laughing has been the biggest thing that we've shared, is we have a very similar sense of humor. And we have, I'm sure you have the same thing, Sips, in jokes that only you two know, and they can go back fucking decades. There'll be some moment that you've both shared, which is like, oh my God, this is so funny. And it just stays with you. And just referencing it makes you both laugh.

For sure. I love that. I have one of my favorites, one of my all-time favorites, which I'm not going to share. I guess I should- It's a private one. Yeah. No, that's fine. It's not weird. It is funny. I'll tell it to you guys. Okay. So this is a relative of us. I'm not going to name any names, was driving us. This is when we'd recently moved up to London. And this relative is pretty, has had a pretty closeted life, I'd say, if that's the word, like quite

sheltered. Yeah, hasn't seen many black people in their lives, is how I'd put it. The relative is driving us in the car. And it's quite a narrow London street. And another car pulled over to let us go past, and the driver of this other car was black. And as we went past, the relative slowed the car, wound down the window, and said, thanks. And yelled out, are you from Africa? No, he said, thanks, man. And I've never heard this relative use the term man in my life so i think he said thanks man because the guy was black and we we say that to each other all the time it's just so

funny oh that is funny little things like that are great i think with uh with uh with uh me and my wife it's it's it's like lots of little things now it's a lot more practical because of where we're at right now with having so many kids and stuff. Right. So it'll just be like really little things like like if my wife gets back from like being in town with the baby or taking the baby to like a lesson or or something like that, I make her tea and that and that's enough.

She's just like, oh, my God, I just needed somebody to make me tea when I got in. It makes such a huge it's such a huge deal. I know it's such a small thing, but I just I like that somebody's got me tea when I got in. It makes such a huge deal. It's such a huge deal. I know it's such a small thing, but I just, I like that somebody's got my back in that sense. And it's just, it's like the smallest thing. If Mrs. F brings me a cup of tea, that's it. I love her for the whole rest of the day. Yeah, exactly.

Likewise. I'll just be sitting here streaming or whatever, and she'll just bring me tea. And I'm just like, oh my God, this is fucking fantastic. This is the best. Yeah. And very occasionally, she'll bring like a mini Twix or something as well. And I just like fuck me like i mean you know sometimes uh like mrs f

just got on a friday we quite often get get breakfast set like brought in you know delivery or whatever so she got me a sausage and egg muffin from leon which is actually really good i love that i fucking love that it makes me too just really simple things like yeah you know like we just like to when when like when the kids have gone to school and the baby's sleeping we just go somewhere and get a coffee and it's just like oh man even just like for five minutes it's just like fuck this so so great like you just this is such nobody's asking me a question or whatever you know we're just we can just have a chat and even if we're not talking about anything overly important it's just nice you know we can just talk about a show that we're watching or

don't you find that like that's the other thing is like i can talk to mrs f like we can we can just go out to dinner just us and we even though we live together and very little happens that the other isn't aware of we could talk for ages yeah yeah do you ever have those times where you're just like you you get really caught up in talking about something and then you're like, you look at your watch and you're like, holy shit, it's like two in the morning. Like, we should really go to bed. Not for a long time.

Because Mrs. F goes to bed very early. She's like 9.30, 10 o'clock. It doesn't happen so much now, but like it still does happen occasionally. But it's kind of nice to think that you could be married to somebody for so long and spend so much time day to day with them and stuff, but still have a ton of stuff to say to each other like uh like i i don't find i don't think i've ever had like a really awkward conversation with my with my wife or anything either like it's always been because we're pretty upfront about stuff like if if stuff bugs us or whatever we'll say it like you know like she'll just be straight up like

um but so do you think that's the language of love? I think for us would be honesty and humor. Trust as well. You have to trust the other person that you can just be yourself around them. Right. Not feel like you're going to be judged or, you know. But that's the thing. That's the key thing, right?

Yeah. Is being yourself. And I think a lot of these self-help fucking things are telling you that basically you need to change your behavior to make this work yeah that's my point is if being yourself isn't working out it's not gonna work out because you can't be someone else if you can all the time if you can be be yourself and meet somebody who genuinely loves you for being yourself is the best right it's the it's the best possible outcome but it's such a great feeling too like you never feel like uh like i don't know i guess some people just feel like really like desperate or down the dumps with their relationship or whatever but like i i've never felt like that like i've always felt

like you know my partner has my back no matter what it doesn't matter what it is like even if it's really like you know out there or like controversial or whatever, I feel like she would have my back. And it's just nice to know, right? I think she feels the same way about me. Yeah. I think like a lot of people say their partner is their best friend as well. And I think that that is definitely something that I've experienced as well with my most

recent relationship. But I think that was quite hard um to process um you know falling out of love with someone but still being very um good friends with them yeah i think it's it's hard to i think yeah it's definitely nice it's it's i think some one of the things you said sips was was really nice like you know that they won't judge you or be critical of you you know i think that's definitely a red flag when you see these people in relationships i don't know kind of being mean it's like a little bit mean to each other a little bit obviously but obviously like there's

meanness and there's meanness you know when we're best friends god the things we say to each other are don't holy crap yeah well i mean but the is, like, even sometimes if they judge you or are critical of you, You know, it's not just like this. You're condemned. I've judged you or I've been critical of you. And that's it. We're like, there's no way we can go from here sort of thing. I've never felt like that either. You know, I've always felt like I could explain, you know, to my wife and say, you know, like there'd be some reasoning with it, you you know like there would be some reasonableness

about it all right i got a question for you guys and this is this is kind of similar how how often do you find yourselves being too trusting and i'm not talking about relationships i'm not talking about too trusting of your partner or whatever i'm just saying how often do you find that you you believe other people more than other people seem to believe other people i'm probably more often than i should like i i tend to give people the benefit of the doubt you know like i don't know if my i don't know if my judge of character immediately is great you know what i mean right my wife is insane with this she like she'll meet somebody and within a moment like she'll have formed some opinion about them or get some feeling about them and i'm not even kidding she's always right it's

insane like uh like anytime i meet somebody new i'm always like hey you gotta meet my wife because i i like that it's like passing through a test like it's like it's like doing the trader test on ttt like when the terminator comes into the uh the underground human base and they've got those dogs there oh man she should have your wife there he's unbelievable he's a fucking terminator yeah she's never been wrong like if she if she meets somebody and she's like uh i don't know like they seem like there's something about them like they're just they're off somehow or whatever they're always off like it's it's insane i i i have a similar kind of thing where i meet people and i just don't

like them and i think the main reason is i can tell very quickly that they don't like me which is it's really obvious when people don't like me because it's it's hard to like me so when people meet me and don't like me they can barely conceal their contempt so i'm like well i don't like this fucking guy yeah he clearly doesn't like me so that's that we're enemies now and i'm never gonna talk to this person i don't know about you guys but most people i meet i feel like they don't like me and i've gotten to the point now where i just don't give a shit no i don't give a shit like if you like me or you don't like me it's a really no consequence to me whatsoever like right you have to put up with me for a second while i talk to you and then we can move on or whatever but like i i always get like weird i don't know like like some strange like vibes from

people like i i don't know like i always i always feel like people are friendlier to each other than they are to me somehow maybe i'm like a narcissist or something i don't know but no i think it's just um especially because of the the job that we do which is like, there's people watching us all the time. I think we're all quite acutely aware of, I mean, I streamed yesterday for nearly eight hours. Right. So I'm on camera for eight hours, which nobody fucking has to do that ever unless they're like being watched in prison or, you know, they're, I don't know, a streamer. I can't think of any other jobs. So I kind of get acutely aware of how I'm perceived because of that.

Like years of that, being on camera one way or another, being on a panel or whatever, you know, you scratch your nose and everybody sees it and all that kind of stuff. So you kind of have this acute awareness of being looked at and evaluated by other people when i'm streaming i'm not thinking about that at all but your subconscious must be thinking about it so maybe when you're meeting people you're evaluating how they're evaluating you like you're spending too much of your brain mirror here right like i think you you obviously like the love

language thing i think you project your own insecurities onto other people and assume that that, you know, just because maybe you don't like other people, they don't like you. I think that I can see why, and certainly I know a lot of people and there are reasons why I wouldn't like them, but I don't really think that there's many people in real life that i dislike actually at the moment i think i'm very trust i think i'm very trusting and i i always i try and assume the best of people or at least yeah at least like to the point where you know even like a negative twitter or a negative tweet or a negative youtube comment some people can't help but rise to that fire and they read the worst into it. Whereas I read that that person is stupid or a child or joking. Or a stupid child.

Yeah. Or it's a bad joke or that it's something I've done. You know, the way we talk to each other, oftentimes, you know, people talk to me in the way that I talk to Duncan and Simon and joke with people like that. And obviously, it's inappropriate to do in person, but I never think that they're like that. I can see why people wouldn't like me as well. I can understand why I would rub people up the wrong way because I'm fairly blunt and I make stupid jokes and I don't necessarily watch myself. I actually think you're a fairly charming person. Like, you know, you're good.

You got nice, nice interpersonal skills. Like you're not, you're not like awkward or anything like that. You know, like some people are just like fucking painful. Are you talking to Lewis right now? Yeah, no, I don't find Lewis too bad. Or maybe I'm just used to him now. I mean, I've known him for a long time, so maybe I'm just used to him. But no, I don't find it.

I don't ever find you like awkward or anything like that. I think I'm definitely overly trusting of people. I think I really do like give people the benefit of the doubt. And it's led me astray, but it's also the opposite too. I think it's helped me more than it's hurt me. Because there's only a minority of people who actually are scumbags um that i've come across and you know i think that even that that is is they should have known better or you know they let their they let their animal urges or whatever get the best of them you know i mean i feel like in a sense it was more that they were just again a bit poorly educated or like just not sure i don't know like lured away and went

in a bad place everyone makes mistakes right and you know in these days of internet cancel culture it's very easy to you know forget that we used to be able to forgive people but now you know um everything you do and everything you tweet is written down and just there forever for a world to see yeah yeah so here's why i asked because i suddenly had you know when you have a memory of something from fucking years ago yeah and even if it's something that's kind of embarrassing or whatever it was so long ago and you were so young you kind of give yourself a free pass and you're like well i didn't know better i was just a kid i was i've always been very very bad at spotting when people are obviously like lying about something like a story that's so ridiculous that i should be able to see through it straight away yeah and i just believe

them especially if they're a friend of mine you want to believe them though right because i think it comes back to just giving people the benefit of the doubt, you know, like even if- I agree, Sips. But you haven't heard how fucking ridiculous this story that I- Okay, so there it is though. I'm looking forward to it. But take this with a pinch of salt because people always exaggerate their stories to

make them sound better. And then they tell those stories again and again, and then they eventually become corrupted and well they think way to ruin the podcast every story we've done this this is a whole podcast is us telling stories that get spicier and spicier every time you read if people like you know look through our 10 or 15 years of broadcast history they're gonna hear many different versions of the same story and i will swear blind that the latest version is the true one yeah yeah for sure for sure so here's how it stories get better the older they get right because i guess i would have been about 13 maybe 14 and my friend keith in uh there's a name you don't hear anymore no you do not see many Keiths

anymore right my friend Keith in school told we we were we really wanted to get into to LARPing right it was relatively new thing very few places in the UK did it at that time like so there were some but it's now I mean the gathering and all that kind of shit it's like thousands of people across Europe coming together for these big LARPing events. It was still considered like pretty out there. And as we were young kids, we couldn't exactly go off and do this stuff by ourselves. We didn't know anyone else really. There were some people in the class that would have done it, but there was no way we could do it. So my friend Keith told me that he did regular LARPing. And I was like, oh, wow. And he told me where it was. It was like somewhere in Bournemouth, out in the sticks a bit in Bournemouth.

And I was like, what kind of costumes? He goes, oh yeah, you have to wear a costume, but the monsters don't wear costumes. The monsters are holograms. I was like, what? He goes, yeah, they're projected. They project the hologram creatures so you fight them. And if you hit them, the hologram will change you fight them uh and if you hit them they'll be like the hologram will change like it will react to the hit i was like really goes yeah so the other day i

was uh i was out with my mates you know we're up and we're patrolling through the forest and i see a goblin up in a tree and it looked like the goblin was there because it was just a projected hologram and i was like wow this sounds amazing what i should have said was wow this sounds like absolute fucking bollocks why am i believing this for months he strung me along telling me a little bit more about it right i arranged to go and meet up with him he kept cancelling at the last minute it never occurred to me that he was full of shit until eventually i just must have stopped talking about i can't remember there was no showdown where i was like you're fucking lying it's just

like who believes that holograms fucking holograms being projected and this is just some local larping group in bournemouth this would be on the fucking news that people have figured out how to project holograms that look like lifeline we can't do that now no can you imagine they could do that now though man those oh man those larpers i mean we do it would just be vr right but it was like i actually believe so now do you a... It occurred to me that I must have been very stupid back then. And I'm worried. I'm not less stupid now. Am I still capable?

Is this a trigger point for you now? Like, if you detect that somebody might be lying, do you have a flashback to Keith? Keith telling me about his fucking hologram lie? Yeah, but like, almost like the can't stand you, you know? Like, you have like the memory of him like laughing with his yellow ass teeth saying that there's projected goblins in the tree and you just- No, I just feel bad, man, because Keith was a good lad. He was just- he had a lot of troubles at home, I think. And I think his escape was making shit up.

Almost like a fantasy world and telling you about it was kind of inviting. It'd be interesting to see howith's life has been i like i know what he did after school well what did he do he managed the sex shop in town okay amazing yeah sure i mean i think there's an element of that in everyone right certain a certain childlike imagination but also i think there's this kind of slightly addictive thing when someone is paying attention to you and they're like rapt and they're like hanging on your every word. There's this allure to like carry on going.

And this is like, you know, if you could make someone laugh, then you don't want to stop. You want to just keep, you know, it's kind of this addictive thing, right? It's this high. I don't know. Maybe I'm a bit weird in this sense. but when people start acting like that around me, I'm kind of done. Like, I feel like I've conquered them. Like, if you're hanging on every word I've said, I got nothing else to do. Like, I don't need you anymore. Like, it's the pursuit of, you know, like I'm trying to win people over. Once I've won them, I'm done. I'm out. Yeah.

I don't know. Maybe you guys aren't like that that's your love language yeah yeah um i mean you're absolutely right about stories getting better the older i get so me and simon went out this week for the first time in like five or maybe even like like seven or eight years like simon and i are obviously very close friends but we see each other about one afternoon a week where we hang out and do a podcast and chat about stuff. And it's about the right amount we can both handle of each other. You know, it's like, we're not, we haven't got a lot in common, but we do get on very well. And we have very similar sense of humor. And Simon had been telling me for some time, this is very unusual, had actually been communicating with me and saying, you know, Oh, you know, make sure you're free on Sunday at six 30.

And so he, you know, warned me a week before that he warned me the day before. And then he warned me the day of, you know, as if I was like not going to turn up, but he wouldn't tell me what I was going to do with him. Right. What we were going to do together. So I turn up outside his place. Um, and it's in it was we went to the bristol tobacco factory which is a theater old like kind of old very hipstery theater you know and brian blessed was doing a charity sort of evening with brian blessed so 80 minutes of him talking right basically kind of very unscripted he's done a few of them before across the country for raising money for these nepalese charities that he's involved with because you know he's he's been up you know he's been to

nippal quite a few times and he was actually up everest like i think i think he's kind of everest four times wow blessed anyway he is a spectacularly unique man and his he sort of had this meandering he's 86 um and he's got this huge huge huge history he was obviously in theater and film for a lot of his life but he became this adventurer he walked the north pole and one of his stories was he was walking and i i know i shouldn't tell this because it's his story right but i feel like this is an example right i'm using here one of his stories is he was walking to the north and the the eight minutes was peppered with things exactly like this unbelievable story he was walking to the north pole okay uh as the oldest man ever to walk to the north pole he's 73

um and he was with his little group and he was walking across the ice the magnetic north pole yeah and here's this like rumbling and this sort of cracking and this sort of humming and he's like what the fuck's going on and to the right of them the ice starts cracking and breaking and it's a fucking red october russian icebreaker comes out submarine comes out of the ice right and surfaces um and obviously they've spotted these guys on the on the you know on I don't know satellite or something they've seen them so the Russians get out and they come over and um they sort of talk to the these guys and one of them who's the officer says you know says says looks at brian is like

could you say gordon's alive um and so brian has to like it's like it's like imagine you're getting recognized by the russian guy can you sing diggy hall for me exactly it's like that and it's obviously an absolutely banging story um and i i almost it's almost too good to believe right if it wasn't coming from him you know um you know it's almost it's almost too good and there's there's so many other ones like that like he's met you know these incredibly famous characters he went to bristol school so he spent a lot of time talking about how he was at the old vic bristol theater and peter o'toole was his friend right uh you know obviously a famous famous actor and how they would like bully john gilgood and like slap his ass and like jump out on him and stuff like this. And he met Agatha Christie.

And of course, Agatha Christie, incredibly famous as well. And, and he told a story about how Agatha Christie told him she had to get this custom pair of knickers made so that she didn't shave her ass on all the camels she was riding in the Egyptian, you know,

excavations that she was going on with a, you know, 15 years younger than her husband kind of thing so so their sex life wasn't interrupted by the chafing or whatever it was very it was it was a and obviously he was in star wars he was in he's in also is it everything he's done it he was in he met you know george lucas told him he was fucking boring apparently oh and you know he had to spice it up so he was yeah he was he was boss nas in the he was the oh i didn't even realize i know so he's done he's done all sorts of stuff right but one thing that that triggered me was and simon like looked around at me at this point

because we were just having a good time uh he was talking about how he loves space he kept going back to space and i guess because he's an explorer i love space i love space exactly this is always like it's like we're here um and he would would not go on about the james webb space telescope okay so go on tell me about the james web Telescope? Okay. So go on, Brian. Tell me about the James Webb Space Telescope. The James Webb Telescope is floating out in space. It's just near the sun. It's a telescope, a James Webb

Telescope. Oh. I said to my wife, I said, we have to go to the James Webb Telescope. That's exactly the kind of thing he said. So I put on my walking boots and off we set. So that's exactly what exactly the kind of thing so he actually says that the chambers webb telescope has been sending has been capturing messages from alien um and the aliens have been talking to us right and of course me and simon look at each other like slightly concerned. Just slowly, like, the place starts emptying out.

Just pick up my coat and just walk in. He has lost his mind. Let's go. The aliens have been communicating with Mr. Webb for some time. It's his telescope. I called him up. I said, James, it's Brian. What have the aliens got to say for themselves now?

I don't know if that's even a good Brian Blitzen that's actually brilliant but you know who it is I know who it is oh fuck me it was a wonderful time I think Brian takes himself very seriously as you all

have to but he's also aware that he's someone who's basically said yes to everything for the past 50 years. And as a result, has done a ludicrous melange of garbage. He was in, what commercial was it? Not go compare, but it was like one of those stupid ass um comparison the meerkat ones yeah he did something like that more recently as well didn't he i seem to remember or well i don't actually remember i mean most recently he's been doing the voice of granddaddy pig in pepper pig right oh shit is he uh does he actually do the voice for him for the for grandpa pig Pig? Yeah. So that's the thing you will know him for. But yeah, obviously, just so interesting and also weird.

Yeah, it's weird. He's a character, right? One of these old British eccentrics. He's very unique. There's no one quite like him. I think it's his sort of old theatre background and this, this, this very, this idea of his booming voice. He's full of memes too, right? Like, you know, people meet him and they're like, oh, do the Gordons alive?

You know, it's very, almost like a, it's a one hit wonder with a couple of these things. Yeah. So, yeah. That's pretty cool. Had a good time. Yeah, sounds fun. Milestones aren't for looking back. They remind us to keep moving forward.

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Please play responsibly. The other thing the Simon did this week, which was a twofer, is... I'll be telling everyone about this, but basically... You both didn't go to TwitchCon together. Have you met... Sarah Tok. Sarah Tok, Yachtok, from...

She's in the office now. And it happened to be on a Wednesday afternoon when Simon was in. She said, oh, Jaffa Cakes have done, well, it was actually Krispy Kreme have done a Jaffa Cakes partnership. And they've done a competition to do the best TikTok. So Simon and Sarah were like, this will be hilarious. Let's enter the competition. Let's make some dumb stuff. So they did.

They submitted it. And of course, they were the only person who submitted anything. So they won and the prize was to visit the jaffa factory and see where the jaffa cakes were made which is obviously very funny to us but also something we don't really want to do right um and obviously the competition is really designed for a taste master right the idea is to find some kid or someone in some eccentric weirdo in britain it's on tiktok right so you're looking for a kid really who is who loves chaffer cakes and wants to go and see how they're made in the factory right and it's a nice day out for him and stuff

anyway of course we won it and we won it because we had the most views like there were like one or two entries by actual kids they got no views so they didn't win it um they they maybe they would have done but so i felt a bit bad about that but not that bad but obviously it was like because sarah and simon and the yogs cast had won it like who gets the prize right who gets to go it's like one person so we talked to the guy the um the guys they were like well look you know simon doesn't want to come down to drive across to Leicester or wherever the Jaffa factory actually is, you know. Why? So, well, Simon doesn't travel very well.

It's not that far. Come on, Simon. This is like once in a lifetime, man. Yeah. Jaffa cake. Inside the factory, he could have done his own episode. Yeah, he could do better than Greg. Greg fucking Wallace.

He's not Brian Blessed. He doesn't just say yes to things. Anyway, we basically arranged it so it would be the local, the flagship store in the Bristol area, that we'd go there. Because they make all the Jaffa donuts in the back. And it felt like this weird blend of a brand deal where we're on our best behavior, but also we're technically prize winners, so they're being nice to us. They're not sure what we're allowed to film. It became this slightly odd, not awkward,

but we were both treading quite carefully about not saying anything bad about Krispy Kremes, but also not just promoting it, not doing everything they you know not not just completely going down the marketing spiel route you know so yeah we tried to be authentic as possible while being polite and while being nice because they were very nice people you know this nice lady came down from head office who was obviously head of Krispy Kreme marketing in the UK to be sent there from America or something you you know, as, as a, as a, I feel bad for those executives who have to, you know,

be sent from head office to run some country, you know, some country's presence there, but she was nice enough. And then they also brought one of the chefs who sort of makes the new donut recipes and has made, made new donut recipes for the last 10 years. So, so,

so they, they were really, really nice and chatted with Simon and chatted with me. Did you ever think at any point that you could have just been like at home in your undies playing computer games instead? Always. I'm always thinking that. Even when I'm at like GDC or anywhere, you know, anytime when I'm at the shops, I'm just thinking, man, I could just not be doing this right now.

Yeah. Well, I had exactly that yesterday when a man was shoving a staple gun into my ass for half an hour. So, good lord.

And in other news, how'd the hospital appointment go? It was fine. Would you like to go on a journey deep into my ass? Do you want me to walk you through it? No. Just in case you ever need to have a biopsy, a transrectal biopsy of the prostate is what it's called? You know what? The name alone, I don't need to know the details. I'm sure this is something I'll have to do at some point. No, I hope not.

I would rather go in blind and just not know what's coming. Just bring it there. Honestly, I think knowing what's coming makes it easier to it's not bad it's it is not that bad it's a little it's a little uncomfortable but um so so okay so the the whole point of it is that they put a probe into your ass it's an ultrasound probe that's got some instrumentation on the end of it is it like the one that and i don't i'm sure you've had this where they put it up the lady's vagina when she's pregnant to have a good old look-see around there. Maybe, possibly.

Because that's a big bad boy, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, the thing is you're on your side- Can we go back to talking about Jaffa Cake Donuts? This episode is not sponsored by Krispy Kreme, but I'd rather talk about those delicious chocolate rigs than whatever rigs we're talking about right now. Brother, there's chocolate rigs, boy. You don't want to hear about this?

It's like kind of interesting. I want to be reassured that if I do have to do it, I won't be scared off. Because I think a lot of people talk about these things in a way that... I think my dad had a similar thing. I think he had a prostate biopsy as well. And he was like, oh, it wasn't as bad as I thought. No, no, it's not as bad as you think. But I think the big thing for me was that,

so there's a bit of prep. They give you antibiotics that you need to start taking the morning that you're about to have it, because if your prostate gets infected, it can be quite bad. But there's a really low chance of it getting infected, especially if you're taking antibiotics. So I had to take an antibiotic. And the thing that I was dreading the most of the whole thing was I had to give myself an enema at home. And I didn't know much about enemas,

except for, I think I'd seen somebody having an enema on one of those- With red wine. Yeah. No, not a red wine enema. Or like coffee or whatever. No, no, it was on a TV show, like Embarrassing Bodies or something like that. And somebody, they just had like a big tube in their ass.

And you could see all the chunks of poo coming out like in the water and stuff. And I thought, I can't, I'm not doing that at home. It's going to go everywhere. There's going to be shit all over the place. Or at least water with, you know, contaminated by shit going all over the damn place. It's not, it's not it's fine you get like this little squeezy bottle with like a little nozzle you shove it in your ass and then you just squeeze the liquid into your ass and surprisingly it just doesn't drip out your

your ass just keeps it retains it it just fills you up with this like water with chemicals in it and then two minutes later you just take a normal shit it's just like you just like piss water out of your ass for a little bit and then just you just your your bowels just empty out and it's fine wasn't like messy or anything this is the stuff they don't teach you in school man they don't teach you this i mean the thing is like teach you like i did that i was like holy crap like all those times i was constipated i could have just done this and saved myself like a whole bunch of a whole bunch of you know i don't think i i don't think i've ever been constipated in my life oh i have it's it's rough when you finally do go for a poo it's like it's like a basketball

is coming out it's like it's insane yeah i definitely err on the side of of runnier rather than yeah stuck i used to be pretty runny but now i'm finding i'm finding now like it's more the older i get the more the more the more that's the old fiber balance the old fiber seesaw i tend to be not too much as to try to try to take some metamucil i think um but anyway so i did that went in um they just give you a gown you have to take all your clothes off they give you a gown they lay you on a bed underneath a big x-ray machine uh you're facing away and it's nice because there's like a nurse who just stands there with you and has a chat with you because it's a little bit uncomfortable but they put some like uh they put some like numbing gel all around your b-hole um and then they put a uh they put a a an ass pill another antibiotic into your ass before they put the probe in.

And then when they put the probe in, they inject some local anesthetic into the prostate, which feels really weird. But once it numbs it all, it's fine because then they've got this spring-loaded apparatus on the end of the probe that basically just stabs your prostate to take tissue samples of it, right? Yeah. But they have to take eight. Oh!

A minimum of eight. So, it takes a little while, but the sensation is so weird. Like, you hear this click and it sounds like somebody's like firing a staple gun into your ass, but then the sensation, you can feel like this like shooting sensation all up your penis, right to the tip of your penis. It's really weird. Good Lord. Yeah, it's like a vibration deep within you, but like not a pleasant one.

So, this goes on for like 10 minutes maybe. And then he's just like, okay. Did you get a boner? You're done. No, funnily enough. Because I thought like with all this, I never had- I've had like- Asking the important questions question it didn't care

to me i'm thinking no because you you hear about this right you hear like people like oh you know sometimes when they stick their fingers in your ass to to check you or whatever you can get a boner um your your dick like retreats into a cave like it goes the other way like you feel the whole the whole process of somebody examining you and uh and sticking their fingering to your ass and stuff is the is just like the the most anti-sexual feeling you'll ever have in your life i think i'd i think i'd get a bonus from that yeah but you're disgusting no no there was no no no no boners were occurring so anyway, after the thing was done, I just have like a really short course of antibiotics to take. And also-

I'm just saying it's okay. Because my prostate's been stabbed like eight times, there was a bit of blood in my pee. And I'm expecting a bit of blood in my poo. And apparently, for a little while, there could be a bit of blood in your cum as well. Oh my God. It's like you're a vampire or something. Yes. The blood's leaking out. For a little while there could be a bit of uh blood in your cum as well oh my god it's like you're a vampire or something yes blood's leaking for a little while yeah christ so when you said i'd feel better about this process it's not bad because i when i got home i peed and there was like a little tiny bit of blood at the end of my pee and since then i peed like four or five times no blood all right tom prior to this going

out insert this small warning okay uh what you're about to hear is fucking gross and scary it's not you didn't have to go through it i went through it it's fine it's fine and honestly i would say because i know i think this month actually funnily enough is uh like uh like officially or maybe unofficially uh prostate awareness uh month or week or day or something it was recently but it it's really not that bad and if you do need to get checked don't let that deter you because uh like they say you know because you guys hear about bill turnbull recently you know bbc news about bill turnbull i was never a fan he well he died of prostate cancer he's quite young he was only in his 60s and um but he was late he was late to go in and get checked and stuff too and maybe i don't know if he had been earlier to get

checked if it would have changed things or whatever but it's still best to get in early so if you notice any change in your in your regular habits or whatever it's still best to get in early. So if you notice any change in your regular habits or whatever, it's better to just go in and get checked. Yep, there you go. There you go. Yeah. You're also deeper down the path of your higher risk, you know, because they flagged up a few things with you.

Yeah. Let's hope they don't find anything too serious. So next month, related to the issues I've been having but not so much to the prostate next month i'm gonna have a miniature telescope inserted into the hole of my dick um so that'll be really fun too apparently that is fairly unpleasant and yeah this is like fucking couples therapy for us though this is it you're getting all of this stuff out. We should be telling someone else this stuff. I'm hoping that they give me a really good check over.

They find something that's not overly threatening. Maybe something I just take a bit of medication for or whatever. And then I don't need to have it done ever again. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like if I get a lot of this stuff out of the way now, maybe I won't need to be prodded too much later on in life. You know what i mean like i feel like if i get a lot of this stuff out of the way now maybe i won't need to be uh prodded too much later on in life you know what i mean hopefully yeah hopefully but you never know i guess i've been working hard on jingle jam reach out good for you i've been working hard on on that and that's been stressing me out a bit

um it's been nice to be able to tell you about this stuff, you know, and just let out some of my frustrations with people. I think that, I don't know, I'm always quite, maybe we're too public about these things, you know, but I feel like this is for me, like, my- It's like a behind the scenes look. My rant session. Yeah. You know? You get like a nice behind the scenes. Yeah.

Like, I just, it's constantly like bewildering the responses that I get from people. And so interesting, you know, I'm just not used to it. I assume this is what it's like for anyone who works in marketing or anything like this. But I just thought it would be more predictable. You know, I thought the response would be more predictable. You know, it would be like these people do that say, there's a group of people who say this is we do have problems with this but no it's just it's all over the place yeah um yeah you know i'm enjoying it sometimes you just sometimes you just gotta you gotta take the rough with the smooth um you gotta know when to hold

them and know when to fold them and uh before you know it it'll be i'm you know what it'll be fine like i feel like the whole thing runs itself at this point, right? Jingle Jam. It's like, we're going for like 10 years, right? Like, come on. I got, there's already $900 worth of games in the bundle. So it's bigger than last year already. It might be our biggest year, I'm hoping.

Holy crap. It's going to be, it's going to be. Well, don't hype it up too much. You know that we're all, we're all over it. Like, I love Jingle Jam. It's one of my favorite things to do. well don't hype it up too much you know that we're all we're all over it like i i love jingle jam it's one of my favorite things to do i look forward to it more than i look forward to going to ti hands down no doubt i fucking love coming down to bristol doing all the streams hanging out with y'all y'all uh i fucking love it and i love the fact that we look at how much fucking money

we've raised and it's just like wow i, I've actually done something worthwhile with my life. Yeah, something I can be proud of. Something I could turn around and not feel shame when I explain to my kids what I was doing all that time out in the garage. You know, missed birthday parties, you know, standing out in the rain after soccer practice, nobody picking them up. All those times. And here I am. Crying in the rain after soccer practice nobody picking them up like all those times and that here i am just crying in the bath probably digital playing on my computer but it was worth it yeah well holy crap i'm glad um i'm glad we did this yeah i'm glad we got it i'm glad we i'm glad we we did this thanks for suffering through my torture story as well. Fuck me. I hope you guys can sleep tonight.

Thinking about my poor asshole. It's been through the hoop. Through the ringer. It's been through the ringer. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Have you guys been playing any video games recently? Can we talk about some games quick?

That's a good idea. Yeah, just briefly, we could talk about some games. I played Destroyer, U-Boat Hunter last week. That was a sponsored stream, but I was going to play it anyway, which is a happy coincidence. Because I played a lot of U-Boat, where you're the commander of a German U-Boat in World War II. I like those games. I like a game like that. Oh, it's great.

You should try it. It's really fun. It's quite fiddly. There's a game called, I think it's like but borrow trauma or something like that. Oh trauma Yeah, so that's more of a cartoony version. This is more that was a jiggle jam last year I mean what's that said more of an among us? It's kind of like a like a like a submarine survival game though, right? Don't you? You're just the captain of a sub and you control the crew and you like, you know

Tell them to go to this depth and prepare this torpedo and all the rest of it. So it's good. The Destroyer game, you're the destroyer trying to hunt the subs. And it's very complicated. But once you get the hang of it, it's not that bad. But it's really, really well done. It's very dramatic. And they've added this sort of theatrical element to it.

So you do really feel like you're in a movie. I recommend it. It was really, really good fun. But I've also been playing a game. I normally don't go for games that are like this, but the name is Solasta, Crown of the Magister. I saw you playing that. I didn't actually tune in, but I just saw it come up in the category. It's like a D&D 5th edition rules RPG with, you know, the proper D&D style combat edition rules rpg with you know the proper dnd style combat turn base you know you hit this you use that spell use these items and all the rest of it

yeah it's quite hard um but it's good and i was looking for an rpg to get my you know my hands into that's what i played i streamed for seven hours and 40 minutes i thought it was like two o'clock i look up it's nearly five o'clock i I look up. It's nearly five o'clock. I was like, holy shit. I'm gonna stop nice properly got into it because Baldur's Gate 3 is not out yet and If you look at the polish on Baldur's Gate 3 It looks unreal like all the cutscenes the acting the characters everything looks amazing This is like it's a finished game, but it feels like it was made by like three people Maybe it was voice acting is pretty bad. The animations are pretty bad,

but they've got a really fun little game. So I've really enjoyed it. That sounds great. So Border 2 Gate 3 is out. No, it's not. No, it's not. I mean, it's... You can only get to a certain point.

I don't want to start. Right. And also people are saying it gets to a certain point and then it's like, there's been a big new patch. You've got to, your save files are fucked. You've got to start again.

Like, I'm going to wait until it's 100% released. Thank you very much. Okay. Well, I think there's a lot of gameplay there, though. I did like 30 hours or something, and I was fine. I think it was good. Yeah, I'm hyped for it. The thing I've been playing this week is Railgrade on Epic.

Oh, I heard of that. Yeah, is that any good? It's on Epic Game Store. It's made by this Japanese company company and it's basically a it's it's it's it's a classic puzzly train game right where each level it's it's old school right in a sense that each it's level based right and so you almost start fresh every time you have industries like coal and power plants and and iron and mines and steel and all this crap and you have to link them together like transport tycoon style but it's really really quick to build

the railways um the the way the game works is you get rewarded based on how quickly you do it which isn't that fun but you have like a prep phase at the start so mostly you plan out what you're doing you build most of the infrastructure straight away um it's so quick to throw up trains there's a lot of different trains that can handle like the slopes like really high gradients and that's a big part of the game and actually i think it's pretty fun cool um it's not the best game ever but i like rare i like i like trains and it's very pretty um and honestly like for me i like trains as well a bit easy like steam trains yeah there's there's like a bunch of games on steam called like i don't know train train valley or something like that like there's a bunch of sweet transit is meant to be pretty good

is it train valley 2 yeah train valley 2 on steam is basically rail grade but less pretty um you you know i i i i love those puzzles though and i love watching yeah choo-choo's you know chewing just just gently chewing do the junctions and and do that and it's all very it's just very slick and so yeah i recommend it um listen i have been playing um i've been back on played up actually i've been playing with hafu again recently which has been fun um but in between that i played i played a bunch of other uh games i played some dome keeper which is really good it's really fun um it's a little bit it reminds me a little bit of like uh dig and rig but um it's yes you got a dome that you have to defend at the top.

Yeah, it's pretty cool. I played another game called Brewmaster Beer Brewing Simulator, which sounds pretty bad, but it is really good. Yeah, I did a hashtag ad on it, which was really nice actually, like to do a hashtag ad on a game that, you know, I thought was really good. It is a rare thing. I've never played it and it was really nice. Do you find like sometimes you get approached to do a streamer game and I just think, well, this is going to be a chore, but I'll do it.

But like I got one, I think last year to fucking play Tarkov. I was like, yeah, okay. I'll fucking play Tarkov. Of course. It's just when that happens, it really feels easy to do it. I played Overwatch 2 for a bit when it released and uninstalled it. Oh, I didn't even know that had come out. I did, yeah.

I played a couple of matches. It has not changed much from Overwatch. It's still Overwatch. And I just i just thought man life is too short i'm not spending another minute playing this miserable game and feeling like shit while i'm playing it and so i went and actually found something fun to do and uh what i did instead which was have a fucking enema well that yeah was more fun than playing overwatch but also i'd rather go wash my ass playing a game called bro tato which is um it's like a vampire survivors it's a vampire survivor sort of game you know like oh yeah okay sure you know in between there's so many of these

coming out yeah they're really fun though bro tato is super good too lots of like really fun challenges to unlock like like new little potato men and i like honestly looks like the last thing i would ever play it's good though if you like vampire survivors though like i would say if you didn't like vampire survivors don't bother but uh if you like those kinds of games where you have i found it so addictive i like the auto battling the auto battling limited controls and just choice yeah you know having to go for certain builds to like get achievements or unlock other things or whatever uh there's tons of that in brotato like there's one there's like a pacifist

run there's a pacifist character who has no damage but like you can build them up to be very fast and tanky so he has to run around and you make your money by having things survive to the end so like when the wave ends everything dies and that's that's when you get your money so it just like completely flips the the gameplay around you know like and there's there's i'd say there's about 20 different potatoes all with their own like unique abilities and downfalls and stuff and it's it's really good it's it looks like a flash game but it's awesome thing yeah on steam there's a one called soulstone survivors that's coming out soon which has been all over reddit and it's and it's it's basically you know the idea is it's a diablo meets auto battler meets this you know yeah but yeah they

are really good fun i like them a lot there. Do you guys want a recommendation for another auto battler? My friend's son's fan, Dota fans will know him. Him and Jenkins, who's another Dota guy, made a game called Ability Arena, which is kind of like Dota auto chess. Oh, this is in Dota. This is what I talked about this last week. I don't think we did. Because I definitely played it based on your recommendation.

Okay, well, it's free. Dota is free. If you guys out there want a free game that is a lot of fun and nothing like Dota, and you don't really need to know a lot about Dota. It is auto chess. You select abilities. You build abilities for your lads.

They do battle. It's good. It's a good little game. It is good. Be exited to be playing it. Okay. It's good. It's hard. It is hard let's be playing it yeah okay it's good um it's hard it is honestly you do need to know yeah yeah you do need to know like you need to know the

doter abilities i think the fun thing about those games is figuring them out right kind of like bro tato you figure out the the builds like you figure it out it's trial and error but then it's really satisfying when you get a build that works and agree and you pass it so i won my first game of ability arena the other day did you yeah and i've never won before i've come like third and stuff like that sure um but uh yeah i won one had the build uh if you are listening to this essence flux which is the uh ability that every time you cast a spell has a chance to give you mana the gaben version that, the level nine version of that, extends your range and damage and all the rest of that. And then I had Wild Axes, which is the Beastmaster ability,

at the Gaben level, which has no cooldown. So my Rubick just stood at the back going, just axing, doing like 10k damage, won the game. Like single-handedly, those two abilities won the game. It was nuts. When you get that build is really yeah that's cool that's that's the cool thing i think that i'm that's probably what i'm doing wrong is i'm not i'm not looking for those max level oh you've got to go for the game that's

key don't buy it like don't just buy abilities like quite often i'll have a lad who's got one ability like he's just got ravage and then he dies and i don't care the main thing is you have one lad that is just like super fucking op and you spin through the spell lists trying to get him as good as possible because quite often that one guy will win you the fight he's so strong it's like having a carry in dota it's like dota yeah yeah it's like a carry can i just say a final thought Before we end. No, sorry. That's our time. It's a one out. No, no, I'm just joking.

Go ahead. Oh, okay. So this just occurred to me. When, and I don't want to come across as sexist here or generalizing or anything else, I believe this to be the case in most cases. Go ahead and cancel me, Sif. You get on the- My finger's hovering over the cancellation button right now.

Okay, get ready for the cancel button. When blokes who are mates with other blokes, right, when your mates are going through a breakup, you might just go, don't worry about it mate, play more fish in the sea, let's crack on. Weee! And you get on with it. There's no counselling, there's no cuddling, there's no long talks about it. It's generally just going to be a 10 minute conversation at most. Oh, I had a few of those. I had a few cuddles. Right. I know. I know. But I'm saying in general, I think more often than not, blokes won't discuss relationship problems with their mates in anything like the terms that women will. So, for example, a woman's going through a breakup, her girlfriends are expected to

be there for her and back her up and hold her hand and get her through this and stuff like that. And I personally think that sounds much healthier than what blokes get. And one of the best examples I got of this, the other week I was watching the Wrexham documentary about how Ryan Reynolds and that other guy bought Wrexham Football uh about how ryan reynolds and uh that other guy bought uh rexham football club and there's a scene in there in the pub in wales in rexham and uh one of the lads says uh something where's your bird blah blah he goes i know she's left me mate and his mate goes oh fucking get some box of tissue over here for this he's crying his eyes out all right come on let's get a pint here and these are mates and i thought that's pretty much how blokes handle it is to just make fun of it and then ignore it and pretend it doesn't happen

which is obviously not drink it away yeah get a pint in your mate you'll be you'll be fine um and i just thought that that's weird because i've never had to like be there my friends never called me up in tears be like oh please he's left me you need to help me like it's just not a thing that that blokes do like you might have a chat about it um well i think again it's happy to do that right like if if you're the one who's brought it up and they've you know gingerly mentioned it then that's the right response whereas if they've brought it up to you they're obviously you know you can then like probe and ask them gently if they actually want to talk about it right but don't you think in general you're not as a bloke expected to sort of be

there for these moments i think it depends what they want right sometimes they just want to not think about it so yeah that's not healthy that's my point is it's extremely it's deeply unhealthy and men bury their problems and don't rely on even their best mates right uh yeah i'm saying it's not i think that's there's got to be a mix of the two right you can't think about it and lament about it all the time at the end of the day the only thing that can heal is time and so you know these we our memories you know decay quite quickly and you know within a couple of weeks you're thinking about other stuff i think you know we're quite easily distracted is what i'm saying you know thinking about other stuff i think you know we're quite easily

distracted is what i'm saying you know yeah go into cyberpunk or you know some some some some you know it'd be a run a submarine and and you know we we can we you need that right sometimes as well to help you through the you need to stay busy you know that's one thing they always say oh you gotta stay busy you busy because it distracts. But that's just the same thing as distraction, isn't it? Just a different kind. It's a good feeling to achieve things. I've emailed a thousand people for Jingle Jam this year, which is an achievement.

And I feel good about it. I think it's pleasing to sit on that and say you know i did my best and i know that that's sometimes that it's not easy because a lot of the time i will be like oh i'm just gonna just not do this today i'm just gonna play games or watch tv or do something else instead but then i have the old thing of oh i feel bad because i'm not doing it and but but yeah like it all feeds back into getting it done makes the rest of everything better, you know? I think I enjoy watching a movie more when I don't have the washing up to do as well,

you know? Like, all those subconscious hassling things annoying me. Don't you have, like, a member of staff that can do that for you? Oh, maybe. But then I feel bad about asking them to do that. What, do their fucking job? I'm not that kind of person. Do your fucking job.

Watch this. Do your fucking job, Sam. I don't like taking advantage of people either. I think that's the other thing that bothers me. I don't want to take advantage of you, right? But do your fucking job. Shut it. Stop nagging me off. Stop nagging me off when you do your fucking job. Shut it. Stop nagging me off.

Stop nagging me off. Do your fucking job. You're going to have a little cry about it. Getting pipes in, lads. Get a fucking box of tissues over here for a cry, babe. You won't do his fucking job. All right. Thank you, everyone.

Thank you so much. Bye. Nice podcasting. Good big ups for another huge podcast well done yes round of applause well done all right let's go take it easy see you later get to each other we love you