Triforce! - Triforce! #237: Two Married and a Moron

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

Triforce! Episode 237! Flax has been getting deep into RPGs, two married guys and a moron get asked for dating advice and we get some more Triforce Trivia! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everyone, and welcome. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast. I am still a bit stuffy nosed today and Sips has a cold. Damn. I've got a big cold. Are you feeling good? I am. I'm feeling good. I fly off to Singapore on Monday. Oh, wow. Already? Yeah. Long, long flight.

I'm super jealous because, yeah, it's's a long flight but it's lovely and hot i'm just super jealous of the long flight are you taking kids with you or anything you want me to take your kids for a couple of weeks off to off the sink just shove me on a plane for like 20 hours alone i'm and i'm heaven for you hell yeah i suppose oh no i'm i'm off uh yeah i'm off on monday um we'll be there for for two weeks gonna be diwali is going on uh while i'm in singapore and uh singapore has like it's it's divided up into sort of quarters although i don't think they're actually quarters there's like the indian quarter and there's the the other there's the chinese quarter and there are some other quarters so it's all kind of uh divided up uh i don't believe intentionally but

i don't know. I'll find out when I get there. But apparently the Diwali celebrations are like, oh, you've got to see it. It's unbelievable. Because, I mean, we see Diwali stuff here in the UK. It's like fireworks and festivals and all the rest of it, which is fantastic.

I've been to a couple of Diwali things, and it's wonderful. And seeing it out there, apparently it's like unbelievable. So looking forward to that. Hopefully we can get some of that on film. there's a lot of cool stuff in singapore but it's and it's quite small really yeah so you can just stroll around it and uh there's a bunch to see nice and reading about it the the merlion is the spirit animal of singapore apparently it's like a lion that's a half lion half mermaid merlion merlion yeah and there's statues of the merlion all over

the place i'm looking forward to that yeah it's cool it's cool it's a cool place um definitely worth of going for a day oh two how about two weeks i feel like two weeks is a lot to be fair right yeah but half the time i won't be Yeah, but then you could just relax in your hotel and stuff, right? I can, yeah. I can. Because of the way they've done TI this year, most of the people that I know will be in Norway. Oh.

Yeah, they're doing a remote broadcast for all of the panel and all the rest of it. But the casters will be out in Singapore. I've known most of them longer than anybody else, so I'll be seeing them. It's going to be fun, but it is two weeks. On my laptop, which I fucking hate. I asked them if I could please have a PC, and they were like, no.

So I've had to buy a laptop, because my other one is too old. What kind of laptop did you buy? I mean, what are you going to be playing on it? Dota? No, not Dota, no. Civil War Generals. American General... American... Ultimate General Civil War. American Battleship. no not data no um civil war generals american general american ultimate general american battleship gettysburg address i have actually uh been playing the pathfinder wrath of the

righteous i think it's called like a you have gone deep into these like role-playing games yeah i just uh they're really they're really good now like the cel Solasta that I played, Solasta was kind of meh, but I finished it anyway because the combat was quite fun. But I feel like it was like, imagine if your first car, because I haven't really played that many of these games, your first car was like a piece of shit,

but you loved it anyway because it was all you knew. And then you got to go in a really cool car and you're like, oh wow, this is so slick. So going from Solasta, which is a very budget kind of indie game to Pathfinder, which is a very budget kind of indie game to pathfinder which is a very slick seemingly very professional and huge game uh felt pretty good so i was like

oh wow this is so much smoother and so much prettier and and all the rest of it so yeah it's really fun i've been playing that and uh i had a battle last night it was one battle it took 43 rounds or something like that it took like nearly two hours to do this one flight it just kept going on and on it was mad but uh yeah so i i enjoyed uh i enjoyed that who are the characters you've got on your wrath of the righteous you only have one main character and then you just recruit people as you go along um yeah i would describe it as a very high fantasy setting so who have you picked i've got um let think. I'm just trying to remember the names. Who are you as well? What's your character? I'm a sorcerer. I'm an arcane

sorcerer. So not a charisma-based sorcerer. Right. Just an intelligence-based sorcerer. Classic brain boy. I just thought I could stay at the back and zap. You know what I mean? Job done. He's alright. I mean, I'm level 3, so my spells aren't great. It's kind of like, magic missile! Magic missile! You just tick all the enemies.

But I've got this woman called Sela. She's a paladin. I gave her this huge magical glaive. She's literally chopping people in half, and they explode into bits. It's very fun. And then I've got Ember, who's like some kind of a witch. And I've got this woman that's half spider, half cat. I can't remember her name there's a lot of very cool there's a lot of very cool classes yeah in pathfinder and it's very there's

a lot of weird subclasses to them all as well i seem to remember yeah so you you start as a you start as like a i don't know there'll be like a a slayer and then it'll go into like a even weird stuff like an arcane enforcer it feels like super hero-y D&D thing but it is fun and just the way the game plays and looks is really nice it is a little fiddly because it's

like Pathfinder which is basically 3.5 edition D&D which is a little bit more fiddly whereas Solasta was 5th edition which is much slicker and sort of pared down in terms of as a rule set uh but i'm really looking forward to so much of the work is done for you with the digital version oh god yeah but i i think yeah what i loved about pathfinder was just how rich the rule set was in the sense of how many had no abilities and overlapping things but also i like, a pretty good little story as well. I mean, remember we all played Divinity Original Sin together.

That was a good experience. It was terrible. Although it was a friendship challenge. It was a terrible experience. We all argued so much. Oh, God, that was frustrating. I just think in those kind of games, you want to be controlling your party. And the thing is, you realize how hard it would be to actually be in a party,

especially with slightly different alignments, because what the fuck are you going to do when your barbarian says, I'm going to attack these orcs? You're like, no, don't yet. And then it happens. Your thief goes off and opens a chest and sets off a trap. You'd be like, fucking hell, this is impossible. So we were all playing our own character sort of running about. I remember you got very angry because Sips just looted everything and was sitting there with all this loot that you needed yeah i remember that very well i love loot yeah we all love loot man yeah i yeah i get in there i get i go i go big for the loot you know why not we all went out different play styles and they it didn't mesh well the other thing about divinity that i remember was most frustrating was that some people wanted to read the story and others didn't give a shit about the story and wanted to skip the story and so there was this like constant um like tug like

back and forth like whether or not we're pulling my pin yeah well i just felt like the the fights in uh divinity 2 are quite spaced out whereas in like for example the pathfinder game you're in like a dungeon area this fights every room just little ones but it keeps you doing something you know what i mean so you click in your loot and you click in your loot and your cast and spells you're doing stuff so i felt like it was just a bit more with divinity i felt like every fight was like oh my god this is so fucking hard yeah they some of them were so hard the the fights they felt like a slog at first right and you kind of get you develop

like your little strategies and stuff and it's not so bad oh but it was so rough some of those fights we just had to do them like over and over again yeah i loved pathfinder actually i don't know why i stopped playing i think something else came along yeah distracted but talking of something else come along and you're getting distracted lewis I've had an email. Oh, okay. From a guy called Toby. Right. He was the guy who stopped you in Queen Square in your van, meted him, made my day, and then hearing about it on the podcast made his week. Nice.

Then he says he saw you again when he drove his van around the main office, and you told him to go away. I did. That was actually yesterday. I think that's really funny. This email's just coming was that like one of those oh i remember seeing you just a day ago and then you sort of say like come on stop following me around or whatever like a joke or were you actually seriously telling him to get

lost no i was like thing is like i was it was like i was just around the corner it was it's like a zebra crossing and i was walking across the zebra crossing he obviously saw me and drove like drove on to the zebra crossing and like got in the way and i was like i looked i recognized him straight away i was like oh hi and then and he was like he just sort of looked at me and was like like hi now he what did he say he said shall i stop again he said shall i stop again and i went no go. It's like a joke. Partly because he was like, stopped at the middle of the road and there was nowhere convenient for him to stop either.

Nice. So, no, I just laughed. Fan drivers, am I right? That really made me laugh, actually. So, Toby, thank you. There you go. Here's another one. This might be a little late.

Right. Because this happened yesterday at about midnight, this email came on. Well, actually, this was a US time. I'm at a Walmart and my car won't start. Do you dads and Lewis have any clue what the problem is? All the lights are on, so the battery is probably fine. It tries to start but won't turn over.

So start a motor. The engine's flooded. Any idea? Were you parked on a slant, on a slope, like with the engine being at the bottom? Because I think a bunch of fluid can run into the engine and just kind of like, you need to turn it around and park it the opposite way around. Walmart car parks, not traditionally sloped, in my experience.

Well, you don't know. You never know. I mean, every road and car park has to be on a little bit of a slope, right? Because they've got to be able to drain, like, water. There has to be a pretty extreme slope for your car to start on. Maybe it's just like a, you know, a lot of parking on a slope that's contributed to it. And then it just decided to fully seize up in the Walmart parking lot. I mean, obviously.

The fact that it tries to turn over means that. Yeah, it's just going like but it doesn't catch okay yeah because he says the lights are on but that doesn't mean a huge amount because i think the lights can run on quite low i think that i think the engine is uh is it sounds like started yeah it could be started start tomato or sip says flooded engine yes good luck yeah flooded engine sounds bad yeah it's bad it's not you can recover from it but it's it's pretty rough like your car will not start until it's unflooded so um it might be your alternator man yeah good luck to get the alternator looked at

don't park it on a slope have you tried um try licking the spark plugs mate yeah uh what you do is you get one of the spark plugs that you lick it, you pop it back in. You know what? It could actually be a spark plug. That could be a spark plug issue as well, right? Could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to gap the plugs. They might be all kludge in the

spark plug. Do you talk to your car regularly? Say nice things to it and stuff? Yeah, I talk to her all the time. Well, there you go. See, that's why Erica? Yeah, I talk to her all the time. Well, there you go. See, that's why Flax's car runs like a dream all the time. It's like a plane. I thank my car, like I said.

You nurture your car, yeah. I put it on the dashboard and say, God bless you, Erica. That's such an old man thing to do. Do you know what? Speaking of cars, I just bought a new car. Not a new car. I bought a second-hand car.

We've become a family that requires a runaround. The taxi service has expanded exponentially this year with clubs and engagements and whatever. And now we need to have another car so that we can coordinate. Wow, so you've been a one-car family up until this point? Yeah. With three children? A one-car car family yeah so so now we got the the car that you know lewis the the blue one

the nice the nice big one that is the dedicated baby car because it's got the baby's seat in it it's the there's room in the trunk for her um her pram all kind of stuff. It's a bigger car. So, you know, if you need to go do shopping or whatever. And then we got a nice little, it's flashy. It's nice. It's really good. It looks cool. It's like a cool looking car, which is a lot smaller, far less trunk space.

But my older kids really like it. They think it's really cool. It's a little bit more modern it's like two years uh younger than the old car so it's got like one of those cool computer screens you know like when you're reversing and it's got the camera on the back and shit it's got one of those it was secondhand though like don't get carried away thinking that you know i've joined the one percent or whatever because i have not it's still like a still a bit still bit of a banger but it's nice it's a nice it's nice to have another car feels fun to get to know that car as well yeah yeah yeah accepting it into the fold you know getting it in the family yeah getting it into the family now people and it has a job you know and

people recognize its role as well and they're like can we take the the new car yes we can it's just me and you we can do it it's fine um so yeah so it's been kind of exciting my kids have been really excited about it we went for a nice drive and stuff we went to uh we went to drive out to a place to get some chips but we did not get chips because uh it turns out this place uh received a zero star health and hygiene review recently. Oh, my God. So, we did not get chips from this place. Yeah.

I don't know how that happens. I don't know how you even open your doors after that's happened. First of all, how did you... I have to have closed down. Sorry. So, you took the new ride out for a spin, right? Yeah. And you went to get to a place that you hadn't been before.

No, no, this is a place that we have been before. Right, right. But it's out, it's out there. It's like not, not where we normally go. Like it's not close to town or whatever. It's like out there. Cause we took the car for a good old spin. You know, the kids wanted to see what this thing was capable of.

So we went for a big long drive and they're like, can we some chips i was like hell yeah we can get some chips you don't even need to ask and then we went to this place zero star hygiene rating sorry kids we're not getting chips yeah there was a chinese restaurant near me in the same boat can't risk it they published the thing uh the the local paper actually did something good for a change they published all of the local restaurants and everything's hygiene rating. Because quite often you don't look. You don't notice. Especially if you're ordering online.

Yeah. That's the thing that they could put on Deliveroo actually is the hygiene rating. That is a really good play by your local paper. Yeah. I feel like that's almost big up material for this. I believe it would be big up. This was a few years ago. But one of them was a Chinese restaurant that I had eaten at many times they had a zero is now a five right uh subsequently i mean honestly they did sister

it does fucking matter like there were places like oh god please don't let so and so be low rating but the reason they published it is because a restaurant near me that was like a staple one of those places everybody went to turned out it had a lot of rats in the kitchen and got like a zero and had to shut down oh yeah also we all thought the guy who ran it was italian i'm pretty sure i spoke about this before actually right just a little uh little throwback there but uh we would go there and it was like an italian place everybody ate there and it was like we thought the family there was italian we thought he was italian he wasn't he was persian right and he just never corrected anybody what was his name italian flags hanging around i can't remember what his name was just a good few years ago now but he was he was not

italian at all um but we all thought he was it was just quite funny so not only was he secretly not italian he secretly was basically running the ratatouille kitchen um it was it was pretty bad jesus yeah i don't i just don't um i i can't i cannot trust a place that gets a zero and again i don't even know how you turn that around or stay open or whatever like you i think you would just have to to close down in utter shame right like like you think so but we just have not been able to do it sorry i'm amazed you're allowed to keep going if you're a zero i don't think you are i think they have regulations yeah but there's got to be some period where you are still open for a little bit like they break the news i don't think they come in it's not like that guy from

ghostbusters where they come in and just shut you down immediately you know like walter peck from walter peck and like they turn off the containment unit what What did you do here, Dr. Venkman? It's true, Mayor. This man has no dick. Is this Wally's Chippy, the one you went to? Yeah, that's the one. Is it still open? Yeah. Well, no, I'm just reading the hygiene thing. There's a couple. There was like a fancy, like, four-star

restaurant as well that got a zero rating. Yeah, the Chateau le chair that's the one yeah flagship visitors hotel so there's a couple of places that i feel like they it all happened around the same time i feel like there's like some weird technicality somewhere you know where like they they changed how they rate or something like that and none of these places they probably got the memo but they ignored it and then didn't do these like two or three things that they needed to change didn't do it and then you know somebody just got annoyed with them and said fine it's a zero and then they were and then they were

scrambling around trying to save their business because obviously that's kind of like a death sentence isn't it for a restaurant to get it as yeah and get closed down so uh yeah it's uh it that's a it yeah it's a weird one i don't i don't know much about it always like it's such an interesting thing isn't it you're always worried or wondering about whether a place is good or bad it's always like super hard to tell because you don't know what like what's going on in the back room you don't know who's running this place you know and like i guess also i think it's like um one of these things where it could just go bad and the people running it like almost don't see

yeah right because they're they're like so used to it or they're so desperate to like carry on or they're just like they don't have the staff or the energy or the effort or the money or whatever it is i think there's also a lack of knowledge about what counts as safe and unsafe. I think there are a lot of people if you've been doing things for years one way and you've never had complaints, you just think, well, this is fine. Just a mouse, you know,

or whatever. It's like, yeah, we got rid of it and we put it trapped down. It's just stuff like that. So I think a lot of it is like a lack of understanding about what is considered professional food handling so labeling and dating everything so you know exactly how old it is you know what i mean that kind of thing if the food inspector comes into the kitchen there's just containers in the fridge they would write you down i think if it doesn't have any

markings indicating this is how old this gordon ramsay comes in and finds like just a whole bunch of like really frozen chickens in your freezer look at that what is that oh my god gray gray meat that he's found my kids love and hate that bit they love it when he pulls the chicken it's like just runny gray chicken yeah it's like with his bare hands oh my god oh man every time here we go another email uh this is from sam uh a teacher in sheffield and these are we talk about names quite often and what are like older names and yeah so these are some of the names that they've seen these the most common girls names that they've seen recently evelyn evelyn okay evelyn very popular it's making a comeback rare not to have one in a class, apparently.

Agnes and Agatha, increasingly popular. Right. David, no longer just for middle-aged men, says Sam. David's back. David's back. And some other older boys' names that he's seen. Eric, with a K, so it doesn't really matter. Sure.

Edgar. Okay. Andrew, Michael, Gregory, and Chris. No way. On the comeback all it's all coming back round see it's like fashion goes in circles right they say so i was watching um i was watching what was i watching i was watching the crown and uh yeah it's the final final uh or most recent season i'm just at the end of it which is of course uh during, during the Thatcher era, the 80s and stuff. And you see some of the fashion and you think, hang on a second,

there's still people wearing that kind of stuff today. Like it's, I don't know if it's maybe because they're trying to recreate what it was like in the 80s with like, you know, today in mind or something or what. But you can see it time to time, right? Fashion come back around. I saw somebody out and about like in town the other day. And I thought I'd gone back in time to the 90s. They had like these massive, massive pants.

Like huge like, you know, skater pants. You couldn't even see their shoes because the bottoms were so big. And like a big Nirvana hoodie and like a toque and stuff. They looked all grungy. It was kind of nice to see actually. They just discovered Nirvana. Yeah, yeah. And this is a big thing. In 2022, yeah. a toque and stuff they looked all grungy it was in it was it was kind of nice discovered nirvana yeah yeah and this is a big thing in 2022 yeah it's uh i wonder if their name is uh laird or brecken brecken bode or or tofa wait bode is not or cutter or cuddy or braxton these are names i

just had from seth has sent me a list of names from Utah. Oh, right. Which is notorious for these names because they have the highest birth rate in America in Utah. So there's a lot of names and people try to be different. Trevin. That's pretty fucking awful. Etterick. Good God.

Why are people fucking so much in Utah, I wonder? What else is there to do? What's in the water? What's good? God, those names are just noises they're just they're just noises question fashion just the sound of a burp that's your name a fart sound how do you write that down as well it's got like phonetic spelling belcher belcher that sounds like a cool name you know yeah that sounds like a name of a kid in a roald dahl book yeah you

know i did like do you think like stranger things and these sort of things have influences on fashion style i think they probably do a little bit yeah i mean i guess they all have minor impacts like gothic stuff like goth clothing and kind of style has always been heavily influenced by like um the adams family sure yeah i mean yeah but i mean the the um i feel like there there's there's there's hints of like saved by the bell fashion like around right now or maybe coming back like especially like those hiked up jeans you know you see girls wearing them that are like they're like really pulled up quite high like uh like uh jesse katsopoulos kelly kapowski style sort of thing you see you see that nowadays more so than

you then you would have so i guess that's like come back somehow i don't think the teddy fresh like color block stuff is quite 80s in a sense like in a sense of its like color scheme where did this uh where did this mixed pastel colors where did this men's fashion come where your your jeans are really tight and they ride right up the ankle but then you wear loafers with no socks like what i don't know the no socks thing drives me up the wall what is i'm very confused why why is this happening i don't know put some put some socks on and get some get some jeans that go down to your shoe and like cover the top of your shoe slightly do it now what are you doing what are you doing

yeah it is weird that that that shorter like cut like those those ankle jeans or whatever yeah awful I don't understand how do you even get them on my feet are too big I wouldn't be able to get them through the little tiny ankle holes at the bottom you know i i think we're talking about joe joe joe joe wears those kind of ankle show off well maybe we need to get into the mind of joe then and find out what the fuck is going on because like can you ask joe next time somebody asked joe what is he thinking does he not have a mirror at home or what like joe cool joe joe hickson yes joe hickson joe hickson joe i mean he might just be too big for normal jeans so they just also do your shoes very long fucking stink like hell like they must do if you're not wearing socks in them i think so every time i've ever worn shoes without

socks they immediately smell like hell like it's agreed agreed no i think the people who are wearing them probably have like i don't know if they use those roll-ons on their on their feet or like i don't know they're you know what does work feet what pair of fucking socks when i was uh when i was growing up my dad uh was a police officer and he had a whole bunch of weird jobs in the police like he worked in ident which is like you know he'd go to crime scenes and have to take pictures and stuff you know like and uh develop all the photos and put together all the case files and evidence and all that kind of stuff and uh through that he had access to this powder that they would use to mask the smell of a dead body right like so so so if they're at a scene and they're taking pictures and it reeks, they could use this powder and it wouldn't interfere with anything or whatever.

And it would just sort of take the edge off the smell so that they could do their jobs without puking every five seconds or whatever. So I had a pair of shoes that I used to wear as a kid during the summer. And I was wearing them this particular summer without socks. And they stunk. And he brought that powder home to put into my shoes from work to mask the smell because he said the smell was so bad the whole like front uh passage of our house just was enveloped with this fucking foot smell so he brought this he brought this this powder home and sprinkled it in my shoes to get rid of the embalming powder or something do you like embalm your shoes

you know what I'd like to do when my kids come in from school you know in Shawshank Redemption when he turns up at the prison they threw that de-lousing powder on him I'd like to get a bucket of that de-stinking powder and when my kids come in I just like boom just douse them with de-stinker because my kids reek

they get to a certain age man you want to do a 12 monkeys on them and just fucking hose them down with a power washer seriously i mean they're they're basically i'm gonna have two teenagers and teenagers you don't know it they stink when you go into your puberty you fucking reek like you really do yeah once your hormones start going and shit like uh under under your arms stinks if you don't keep on top of it like you just start to stink a bit right loads of people stink all the time i i i like not or not even people like things stink like a lot of people have these like jackets that stink or like people's cars stink like i've got this friend of mine who's got this um he's got a couple of young babies and he's also got like this big big dog and so the car is just you know the dad van is just basically yeah really stinks smells like car like baby sick and dog and wet dog and it's like this fucking stinks dude i

remember i told him i felt bad he was like i'm used to it now i can't smell it i'm like man just fucking do you i don't know get some of that embalming powder or something just scatter it around in here i remember when i when i was a teenager we we'd all started smoking and we were we smoked a lot we were teenagers and a very typical thing to happen to you as a teenager is because you don't really have resources is you'll get stuck out in the rain or something right or you end up having to walk like two miles in the fucking rain or the snow or some shit anyway there were definitely uh situations where people would turn up after getting caught out in some some some weather thing you know where they didn't have

access to their car they couldn't get a ride or something so they'd turn up to your house soaking wet or or whatever but because we were all smoking at the time too all of our clothes just reeked of cigarettes but then combined with them getting all wet and muddy and shit like that too somebody come over to your house and muddy and shit like that too somebody come over to your house and uh and then you'd want to break that powder out again just like mask the smell just weird thing is like some people stink and it's actually like kind of a nice cozy stink it's like tom obviously he's a smoker right like a like a musty like like an old man smell you know like if you go so yeah he's like he has like this kind of tobacco-y

aroma around him all the time and it's like fine it's quite nice right but i guess other people might find that unpleasant in a coat i don't think it's too bad i think if you wear like a like a toque all the time and you can smell like your greasy hair and then cigarettes as well not as not not ideal i would say that's that's kind of gross, right? And you get elements of that depending. I sort of, I do. I'm sure, look, I'm sure I'm not the best. Also, my washing machine is broken somehow at the moment.

And it won't take the fabric softener. So, all of my laundry is like. What do you mean it won't take it? It just says no. It's all clogged up. It won't take the fabric softener. You've got to get it on. What does that mean mean it's congealed all around the entry point you've got to have to flush it out i took the drawer out i cleaned it all out no no it's not the drawer it's

like the little pipe the pipe you're gonna have to sluice it you're gonna have to sluice it i love the word sluice sluice that i think i'm gonna have to get some like drano down there get some sluice actually you gotta get some drano down there get some sluice actually you gotta get some drano down there cut the grease i did a hot wash with it and it sort of didn't help anything so you you can just put it directly on the clothes you don't have to put it in a fucking drawer i wouldn't no i i never put washing liquid in the drawer i put it straight on the clothes no i the washing liquid's going in fine i'm putting that in the drawer but the the fabric softener you ever put any of that... You ever put any of that......going in a second stage?

You ever put any of that fucking antibacterial shit in there? Like the 99% kills everything stuff? I don't think so. I don't think there's a... There's no smell in there, so I think it's fine. The old washing machine. So, Miele, by the way... It says it shouldn't go directly in the drum.

Miele. M-I-E-L-E. Yeah, well, they say that. So, you gum up your machine. And it's all a ploy. It's a ploy. It's kind of like those phones where you buy the phone and it's great. And then two years later, you find the battery lasts like five minutes.

And it's all a big scam to get you to buy a new one. I feel like all of my washing lately has just been a bit dank. Oh. Mine's just been covered in snot mine's just covered in oh no here's a smell i got puked on last night here's a smell for you you put a load of washing in the machine you set it going overnight you forget to put it in the tumble dryer oh yeah take it out yeah you open it smells like cheese yeah is disgusting it really is like such a rank death smell well this is the thing i feel like all of my clothes smell just a tiny little bit like that.

So you need to get a... Yeah, you need to make sure you get on the dryer. And don't get a combo washer dryer. They're no good. You need a separate tumble dryer. Need a separate. Need a... A high weight one as well.

All right, now here's a question. Where do you keep your washing machine and tumble dryer? Because ours are in the kitchen. That's very common in the UK. Yeah. But a lot of other countries, they keep it in the bathroom where they i mean in the uk you tend not to have a utility room no because most houses aren't big enough but a lot of people i know overseas they can't believe that you keep the tumble dryer you just don't have the space over

here everything's a lot more compact right so we're the same we have that's a part of the washing machine in the kitchen and the tumble dryer is in the garage right behind me, actually. It used to be in the kitchen, but we moved it out here because before I had the garage done, it was a bit dungeon-y and dusty and stuff. But now that it's like an office,

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Please play responsibly. Introducing the first ever Mazda CX-70 Our largest two-row SUV Available as a mild hybrid inline-six turbo Or as a plug-in hybrid Crafted to move every part of you Alright, well here's another email From the old bag This is from Omar Omar coming? Recent

Omar Little Omar Little Omar on the block Recently I've been keen on a co-worker of mine, and we chat extensively whenever our shifts co-align. Right. Even outside of work, we chat a lot, and her messages and talks are always rather flirtatious.

Right. I'd previously asked her out, but I played it off as not that big of a deal, more of a shot in the dark. It was rejected due to the unfortunate timing of a boyfriend breaking up with her just about a week before. All caps, in note i did not know this prior it's all right omar i'm not judging that's fine omar i want to ask you guys what course of action i should i should take should i let the feelings die down or more i should try to be there as a friend until a different moment and ask again okay okay the heart so help a boy out i would not i would personally not try

again uh like like after the first time i i would say okay she wasn't up for it i the ball is like in her core now you know i would just carry on like you're like you're doing you know having nice chats and stuff like that and then just see what happens and if nothing happens well that's just somebody that can have a nice chat with and go find someone else you know what i mean i i think the main thing is not to over strategize in any of these Yeah, there's a very strong tendency among the dating population Just to treat it like a fucking game of risk and decide whether to push for South America or go in via a course You know, you can chill. Yeah, and you can you can just see how it goes

Maintain what you've got for the time being and And then if the occasion arises, like Sip says, then make a play. But don't think I'll mark a date on the calendar or press for when can I ask you out. Just let it grow organically. Otherwise, it's a big, big turn. Sometimes you just got to take a look at what you've got and just say, yeah, this is cool. I can keep just this, like this. It doesn't need to go any further.

You know what I mean? Like, it's just nice to have a good chat with somebody that you know you is a bit flirtatious or whatever and that that can just be that right it doesn't need to be anything more like if you've tried especially and like maybe the timing wasn't right that time or whatever but i don't think i would try again i would just sort of leave it as it is and just see what happens you know i'm thinking there's a couple of things here one when you asked her out you didn't know that she'd had a breakup but does that mean you didn't know she had a boyfriend i would suggest that that is a very good sign omar because if if you're talking to someone and they never mention their boyfriend or their wife or whatever that's because they

want to leave open the potential and then if things turn south and they decide they're not interested then they start talking about it yeah if people aren't interested in you the first thing they do is mention their boyfriend yeah girlfriend right and then you're like okay but then then the rejection the rejection i feel like is a very easy excuse right and a very lazy one too it's almost like oh she just broke up with her boyfriend that is fair enough i don't know though i think you could have i think you could have said like i don't know like my concern with that is that that seems like yeah like like zip said the ball is in in her court now i wouldn't ask again because i think that yeah i would expect another excuse along those lines like oh you know i've got i'm still still sorting myself out or you

know i'm still i think that she always has i'm not ready yet you know there's always a very easy excuse well this is one time but she's trying to she's trying to break it to you gently too right like i would say lewis be brave fair heart near one fair maid right yeah you gotta be brave you gotta be ready for some crap a dm i say um indeed crap a dm yeah you could be sluicing her in in in a few matter of weeks you just gotta buy your time i think i think if she's interested in you she'll make that clear in some way you know she'll find ways to hang out with you she'll mention hanging out with you you'll spend time together naturally and then you won't have to ask her out inverted commas because you already have just been going She'll find ways to hang out with you. She'll mention hanging out with you. You'll spend time together naturally.

And then you won't have to ask her out, inverted commas, because you already have just been going out, doing stuff together, right? I think going for some sort of plan is, or Hollywood style, would you like to go on a drink with me? Would you like to go on a drink? Hey, would you like to go on a drink with me? Or maybe go flying on a plate and eat some food? Maybe we could share a sody pop together.

Sody pop down at the drugstore. I hear there's a new chippin', chippin', chippin', chippin', Savaloi place down the way. They love Savaloi. Wally's Chip Shop. You want to get a Savaloi? I love that people seek dating advice from people that have been married for like two decades that's nice and an idiot yeah the moron as well yeah no i'm just joking helpful i guess like i guess like my just my feeling is if like in my

experience if they're interested in you they'll let you know right they they i think that and and in some ways you can make yourself more attractive by just not not being too hungry for it right yes like i think that in some ways old like a tried tested and true method isn't it for people like to for in a lot of cases right don't be the the eager person you know just just chill a bit and and wait to see what happens chill i think that's just be a cool guy to hang out with that is around and interesting and fun and if it doesn't happen and you'll find that other people will be attracted to you as well yeah people are always attracted to that one guy that treats them like crap and doesn't give a shit about them right like this this is like yeah that's right i didn't think of that strategy yeah

so there you go that just start being just start being aloof women love a man who's a complete piece of shit everybody knows this right everybody knows this right this is this is from someone whose name is redacted for security purpose right oh i am a royal engineer in the british army right who specializes in explosive ordnance disposal and search right this means when bombs are found i'm part of the team that either high orders it which is setting plastic explosives to blow it up right where it is or low orders it which is cutting a bomb open and burning the explosive material without damaging surrounding structures that sounds a bit more boring search aspect of finding the bombs yeah world war ii bombs or ieds with special metal detectors ground penetrating radars and the like i don't have any questions for you guys nice well why would you please respond if

you have any questions i'd love it if he was like yeah i've got this uh i'm on a case right now where there's a red wire or a red wire and uh i'm here right now and i'm poised to cut one of them you get back to me this was 16 hours ago so it could well be that he's he's on a i'm currently sweating my balls off looking at a pile of bombs now what's the best approach yeah No, so do we have any questions about that? I would say primarily what is the closest you've come to fucking up and like, you know,

where you were just like, oh shit, like literally that moment in Lethal Weapon where he says, Roger, grab the cat and run out of the underground car park. Does that kind of shit happen where you're like, oh, we fucked up, everybody get out of here. Also, do you really use that liquid nitrogen and stuff to cool the explosive so you can get in there and do stuff and how accurate was the hurt locker did that feel can you is is there a little dome that

you could put over top of a an explosive that will contain the explosion because i feel like if somebody could invent a little dome like that well that would be really good for your job i think that's actually worse why because? Because you're confining the explosion. If you look, I think that it might be a Mythbusters. I could be wrong. They put like a fire cracker on like a brick and it just went bang. And then they put a

helmet over it and it went bang and the helmet went like a hundred feet up in the air. Holy crap. So if you contain the explosion, the force is like, it isn't just lost very quickly. What if you bolt it down? What if you like, I'm force is like, it isn't just lost very quickly. It doesn't dissipate in the atmosphere. What if you, like, I'm talking like bridge bolts, like big fucking bolts. I'm sure they do something like that.

Like a huge metal helmet that they put on there and they carefully bolt it down. I think you're basically just talking about a grenade here, right? Aren't you? That's what that is. What? The helmet? The helmet is not a grenade it's an explosion surrounded by metal

oh man you're right it would have to be so thick that the explosion is like contained so it doesn't you don't basically

turn it into a giant grenade that would be bad let's put loads of sharp bits of metal around it that sounds like a good idea

but maybe they could put like some kind of a special maybe just pile a load of nails on it you know how does that sound cover it in nails and glass and stuff so yeah those are get back to us on that if you can that is a fascinating job i'm imagining like all of these

jobs it sounds incredibly glamorous and we have this imagination of what it is but the reality is 90 of the time you're sat around, you know, doing, doing regular boring stuff. Yeah. And then, you know, there must be these awful worrying moments where someone's unearthed something in the garden.

You know, it turns out it's just an old lamp or something, you know, and it's not actually a bomb. God, yeah. Anyway, give us some,

some, some stories. God, like, defusing these old bombs must be such a fucking crap i just said the the thing that that um unnerves me the most about that job is that if you do fuck up there's no time for you to like really react right like if you cut the wrong wire immediately you're dead like that's it. There's no surrender option.

It's lights out, bucko. There's no, like, oh, shit, maybe I can retry that. You know, you're either dead or you're, like, fucking catastrophically maimed. Oh, my God, yeah. Jesus Christ. Good Lord. Just to follow up to that is, how many people

have you spoken to that are in the army or the military and deeply regret being there? Like, I've spoken to a few squaddies and stuff over the years, especially when I was working at BAE. And they all said to me, don't ever join the army. It's dog shit. That was their take. I'd be interested to hear your take. It sounds like you do something more interesting than they did.

All right, here's one. This is from Josh. This is about bumper stickers. We were talking about bumper stickers. Oh, yeah. Like, honk if you're horny and all that kind of stuff yeah so i mean for one thing i said that your rear window has to be clear apparently that's not the case but your side mirrors your wing mirrors do have to give you a clear view behind the car uh so if you are going to block up your rear window um and

people said hello what about vans well they have very wide wing mirrors if you look at vans the mirrors come out much further than they do on cars. They're on like little arms. So they can see behind them. And of course, you know, except I said if you have a rear window, I'm pretty sure it would have to be clear. I think police could stop you. And apparently if you're overloaded, they'll stop you from being overloaded is one thing. If your car is too heavy, that

can be a thing. Because I think it would be a safety issue you wouldn't necessarily be able to brake as quickly. But you have to be able to see behind the car pretty pretty well with your your wing mirrors mine are covered in spider webs all the time so be careful anyway this is from josh uh hi legends please read this in your australian accent pflax okay hold on you guys were talking about bumper stickers and i think australia has the worst in the world people People often go to Bali for their trashy holidays. A mate went once and came back with bumper stickers that said,

I lost my foreskin and I fuck midgets. Similarly, folks in their youths will have their stickers that say, Diesel Soot gets the mut. Mut is a gross word for vagina, among other similar stuff. Really drives me mad anyway have a good one p.s lewis might be a sperm doctor offspring because his take on the matter was deformed get your dna check lewis there you go yeah you did have a pretty fucking deformed take on that one if i recall oh i don't know if it's diesel soot gets the moot or moot but it's pretty

pretty gross yeah it is a kind of a gross term isn't it i don't appreciate somebody calling it a cock either i don't like that i i just it doesn't it's hard for me to say too right like i would never be like oh yeah my cock like it just i don't know it's weird right like i would just say like oh my my my uh my willy oh my dingle dangle my dingle my dingle my johnson but like cock just seems like i don't know i guess it's like minge or like um one of these other horrible words minge is horrible that's a real i think that's the worst like i will say dick no problem i don't mind saying oh my dick but i would never refer to it as my cock like it just seems such as such

what's the worst word for dick that you can think of but then when you think of like the the ones for women like like i don't know an axe wound or a sausage wallet any of these things it's just fucking awful it smells so much worse oh i for me i can't think of for for to describe a a penis for me the worst is cock like i can't think everything else is kind of comical but cock is just like i don't know it's just it's just find it like a bit awkward you know like i don't know there's just something about it i don't know yeah i'm not i'm not sure what to do no i've got it oddly enough i've got a um huge cock i've got an email horrible words for for dick to even the playing field yeah yeah i mean this yeah they're all fairly powerful sounding aren't they you could call it your wang you could call it your todger you could

call it uh your uh your tallywhacker you know your old chap your old chap your your johnson your dick your your penis your pensy your peni like there's these these are all okay you know it would be the multiple of penis sure but like whatever you know like it's just none of these words i find overly offensive but when somebody's like my cock like it just i none of these words i find overly offensive but when somebody's like my cock like it just i don't know it's kind of offensive no like it just seems a bit odd some bad ones like like veiny bang stick or like well i mean like pork spam javelin there must be like there must be like a lot of weird stupid ones yeah no those are fucking stupid like i don't i would not be offended by those no i think they're jokes yeah

all right i got it this is a cracker this is trivia about the podcast oh and we have to try and answer the trick oh these are fun these are fun i like these ones so here's one how many episodes did it take this is from martin by the way martin uh yeah how many episodes did it take? This is from Martine, by the way. Martine. Yeah. McCutcheon. How many episodes? This is my perfect moment? No, I think it's a lad called Martin, but it's pronounced Martine, so sure. How many episodes did it take Lewis to make fun of Pirion's bald head? Oh, God.

That had to have happened in at least the first five episodes, I would say. Lewis? Hmm. Hmm. I think I only, I don think i only i don't know i don't know let's say i'd say i'd say 20 okay it took two episodes okay two episodes two i thought it was a trick i thought it was longer no at the beginning of episode two you mentioned how the animated triangle figures of us that I had to have shine on my bald head on the animated triangle. I believe I do.

So there you go. So not even two full episodes. That's one episode and then the very start of the second episode it comes in. All right, here's one. Where did the name Triforce derive from? It's from the Legend of Zelda. Incorrect. It's the three, um, it's the, it's meant to be the three triangles that come together

to, um. I think that was a subsequent thing that we came up with. Was it from Team Double Dragon? We wanted to have a video game name. We wanted to be three, three of us instead of double. No, no. Do you want the answer? Yeah.

Do you remember? I think I told you guys that my nickname at one point was T-Force. That's right. T-Force. And we were like, oh, well, we should call it Triforce. We suggested the following other possible names.

Stone Cold Podcast. Oh, yeah. That would have been fucking good, actually. But I think people would have expected a lot of wrestling talk. Yeah, they would have. My Two Dads, the podcast.

And The Brindley Prospect, the podcast and the brindley prospect the podcast that sounds like a conspiracy theory it really does that's like the mandela effect the brindley prospect it sounds like a shit like is there a tv show called two and a half men because we could have called the podcast that as well two and a half is another one uh what was the first game computer game that we discussed on the podcast oh back in the back at the time it would have been probably like xcom 2 or maybe like hearts of iron or something like that i'd say xcom 2 i'd say it was probably i i can't i can't go like half an hour without talking about world of warcraft i think it's probably world of warcraft the answer is dota 2 oh and this is when we were trying to

figure out a name for the podcast scrub dota came up as an example of a good name oh i see yeah i see now trivial challenge trivia challenge number five Which famous fictional serial killer was Sips going to name his son after? Buffalo Bill. Ted Bundy? No, Ted Bundy's not fictional. Oh, fictional. Sorry. Fictional serial killer.

Hannibal Lecter. No. You were going to name your son after a fictional serial killer. I'm just trying to think. What fictional serial killer would have even registered with me. Something that you've watched. Dexter. That's right.

We were toying with the idea of potentially naming him Dexter at one point, but then thought it's a bit creepy because we would be naming him after a serial killer. There are Dexters in your kids' classes, though, aren't there? There are, yeah. Not so much in my son's class. In my seven-year-old daughter's class, there's some Dexters. It seems more popular. Keep an eye out for that age. And then finally...

If you're worried about Dexters, remember, they're good serial killers, so they only kill people who are suspected of or yeah one of those good serial killers yeah yeah they're more like a vigilante though aren't they do you mean everyone loves a vigilante oh yeah you know yeah yeah yeah all right finally uh this is a just a more of a a sort of interesting uh sort of thing about about how long we've been doing this podcast I guess um this was an older episode i was talking about how when we drove down to dorset we would often go past we would always go past thought park and my kids were too young to ride the rides and they would always see it and they would always want to to go and they'd be kind of like longing for that day and of course full

circle in a more recent episode i i have taken my second child to the park and uh she didn't have much fun there if you guys remember yeah i took them both to it. So that's how I'm going to do it. From a point where neither of them could go to the point where they've both been. And one loved it and one hated it. That's pretty much the way it goes. That's life though isn't it? That's life. You might have a lovely time in Singapore and you might hate it. I hope that you don't hate it though. I hope that you have a great time. And the thing is, if you're there and you're disappointed, just use

the time to just, you know, relax, recoup a little bit, regenerate, you know, catch up on some TV. Maybe catch up on some games or something. You know what I mean? Just enjoy that time. I'm just gonna enjoy looking around Singapore. The food

is meant to be very good. So I am looking forward to that. And seeing a lot of people there that I haven't seen in a long time. Like a lot of them since the last TI and stuff like that. So I'm gonna make the best of it. Because I know two weeks away from the family and friends and streaming and all the rest of it. It's hard when you get older to go away.

But the hotel's nice and everything. When is the first day of ti officially like when um because i'm gonna probably get back into dota for like a month let me think so i'm going out at the start next week i think it starts on thursday might be wednesday yeah i think because it's like it's quite a few days of main stage stuff so there's group stage stuff I think starting next week right and then I get there and then we have the main stage stuff and then there's like a five day gap before the grand finals so it's it's going to be a weird one because it's going to be a lot of time with the players not doing anything us not

doing anything while we wait for I guess the upper bracket lower bracket final and the grand final is what we'll be waiting for uh and maybe one other series, I'm not sure, on that final weekend. But the Singapore crowd, like the Southeast Asia crowd, is unbelievable. And all the events that all my friends have been to in Southeast Asia say the crowd is so hype. Nice. And that atmosphere should really be something. So I'm looking forward to that. Holy crap.

For sure. Just very quickly, we have one final email before we get to the hour mark. Right. This is from the foggiest Oggy. I have a hypothetical question for all of you. Right. If the royal family decided, I don't know if this is possible, let's imagine they did, like in a hearts of iron

focus tree, decided to get rid of the government entirely and go back to having the final say with no competition, would the UK be plunged back into the dark ages? Oh it would yeah there's no way i can't imagine any other answer yeah yes it just would for sure it would never work um i don't i don't think that they have the ability to govern uh like an entire kind especially not a big complicated country economy and everything like like the uk is right there's just i mean they would have ministers right and they would they

would appoint them sure i know that a lot of people say they're having that benevolent dictatorship least of the least friction and i believe if i'm let me look up the government of singapore i'm pretty sure that's pretty much how singapore is run uh let me have a look government it's a unitary dominant party parliament republic oh okay fair enough whatever i don't know what that is sometimes though you get these places where like they fail to elect someone and there's like no government and it all plods along just fine for years sometimes surprisingly so i don't know i guess like this is a broad very we don't know what the answer this question is you know is is is everything

still going to be in place you know that they're just topping off the head and replacing the head or or are we going to get some new bureaucracy of apparatchiks and flunkies you know what what's this what's the situation gonna be or you know is king charles having to make all the decisions i mean it would obviously be awful but how awful compared to what we have you know um i don't know people always say that you know we've got the worst form of government apart from all the others so all right well dude you want to hear let me let me tell you this this is actually quite interesting this is the government of Singapore. The president, so they have executive legislative judiciary. They have the Westminster-style system. The president

is elected by popular vote for a renewable six-year term. Requirements for this position, which were enacted by the, I don't know what this government is, are extremely stringent, such that only a handful of people qualify for the candidacy. These qualifications include they need to be 45 years of age or more

and no longer a member of a political party. They have to have either held public office for at least three years in a number of specific public service leadership roles or have three years experience as chief executive of a fully profitable private sector company with at least $500 million equity, be a resident of Singapore for at least 10 years, not have a criminal record, and there are some more restrictions. They must also satisfy some

specific regulations that they are a person of good integrity, good character and reputation, and the constitution of Singapore requires that presidential elections be reserved for specific racial communities if no one from that ethnic group has been elected to the presidency in the five most recent terms so only members of that community would qualify as candidates in a reserved presidential election in the 2017 presidential election this combination of stringent requirements and a reserved election meant that the candidate had to come from the 13 malay ethnic group so a single person was qualified for office just one person uncont. Jesus. Uncontested.

And she became Singapore's first female president. I'd love this. Imagine if they just turned up at her house and were like, I'm sorry, you're the only person in Singapore eligible who could be president. You're going to have to be president. It's you or no one. I think that's perfect. I think you want to get people in who, well, I'm assuming she applied.

Oh, she had to run. I like those requirements, like, of being, like, a good person or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least, I mean, God, like, that would knock off, like, most of the heads of state. Boris would have failed that. Fucking unbelievable, yeah. Christy. And I guess you can't be president and prime minister at the same time, right?

I don't know. Because that, again, feels like a fucking load of bullshit. A bit of heat. Apparently, the corruption in in singapore is like almost non-existent like it's one of the lowest places in the world for corruption in singapore they've obviously got their shit together but they are also they do also have very very harsh uh criminal justice system by our sort of measure yeah um it's very very harsh do they have a three strike rule no i think they just have they have i mean if it's anything it's a one as i understand it you'll go in a fucking prison like that yeah and the same

thing with um if you have an only fans you can be arrested really serious like obscenity yeah i mean i mean i know that i'm not allowed to vape in singapore really no vape yeah you'll get you'll get in trouble if you throw a chewing if you chew gum i think what the hell are you gonna do if you can't vape there flex i'm gonna have to smoke regular cigarettes you gotta go can is there like a border nearby that you can cross just to have a quick vape and then come back i'm not gonna drive all the way out of singapore just for a vape no you're just yeah singapore chewing gum yeah it's oh it's not illegal to chew gum but it is against law to import it and sell it. Right. So if you have a personal amount of gum on you, it's decriminalized.

But if you're bringing like a briefcase full of it, that's... Gum for personal use only. Right. I mean, I think they've got like a death sentence for a lot of drug crimes. We've just intercepted one of the biggest halls of hubba-bubba this country has ever seen. They've got the fucking desk and like a... We've got some Tutti Frutti here. We've got extra candy bubble.

Every flavor of the sun. The picture where they have the drug war with the officers holding up. He's got loads of Wrigley's. This has a street value of at least 35 pounds. And in a hidden compartment in the man's car Where we found all the hubba bubba We found some Bazooka Joes as well

Complete with comics They were old, they were like little bricks Until this was a big operation Oh man Street value of £35 The Sticky Bandits Oh Jesus Thanks so much for the podcast Street value of 35 quid. The Sticky Bandits. Yeah. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, man. Well. All right. Well, that's all. Thanks so much for the podcast. I'm going to go and nurse myself back to a reasonable amount of health now with my cold. Get well. The sniffles.

Yeah. Thank you very much. You do that. God bless. Peace. God bless. Love you. Bye.

Bye. bless peace God bless love you bye bye