Triforce! - Triforce! #239: No Burrito Frito

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

Triforce! Episode 239! Live from the Pickaxe Podcast Week we're sending cameras up Sips' johnson, moths to Pyrion's house and long covid to Lewis! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's a pleasure. Thank you for joining us. I'm here from a literal landfill site. Tips is from a slightly tidier landfill site. I'm a prepper. This is in the hallway of someone else's office. Wearing a poncho, I believe. Is that a poncho

it's a nice warm i'm in my prepper i'm in my prepper bunk bunker with all my all the shit i want to take with me like an egyptian pharaoh i'm gonna be buried uh under uh under the uh post-apocalyptic uh earth with all this stuff i got an ironing board in here bikes play-doh to keep me entertained yeah yeah so we normally record trifles on thursdays at 10 uh so this is a bit off kilter partly because yesterday you had to go and have a camera put into your penis yes yes i did uh thanks for bringing that up we're just talking about now yeah hey it's dick health is important i want to know what was it like having a camera how'd it go down there you know that friend you had at school who uh did uh martial arts or karate or whatever however you

want to call it i had exactly and they learn the pressure points and they come to school the next day and they're like hey check this out and you're like what is it and then they do the vulcan death grip on you and you're paralyzed for an instant while they like while they do it you're like come on stop that's what it felt like but at the at the base of the shaft of your dick it's uh i clenched up like crazy like both of my ass cheeks clenched up so hard that i felt like i was like levitating above the bed because like the you know the muscle just like uh thrust me up and the guy and the doctor was like listen can you um can you just relax your uh your bottom back into the bed i was like i can't this is this hurts he's like oh well we'll be really quick don't worry about it and then um he was just like he was he was in and out

in like a minute but uh there's a screen next to me and he's like, hey, look on the screen there. We're inside your bladder. And I was like, yes. And he's like, yeah, you can see there's like some bumps and holes. Surely you'd rather be watching some like Breaking Bad or something. Or do you know what I mean? Anything else would have been the apprentice. Man, even just somebody.

Look over at this screen here. It's Celebrity Island. Yeah. And you'd be like, oh. And then that would distract you from the what was going on you know but rather than like oh look inside i don't want to see inside my own yeah i mean it was interesting enough but like it just um you know if i was sitting there comfortably drinking tea and and watching it on tv i would have been like this is

really interesting but right um when it's your bladder i was in a lot of pain at the time, so I just couldn't really get into it. When my daughter had stitches in her chin, and one of the nurses held her phone with Ben and Holly. Like, you know, remember, anyone remember Ben and Holly? Any Ben and Holly fans as a cartoon? They held that up for her. It did seem to relax her quite a bit.

They also gave her, what is it? The gas and air. Gas and air. I would have taken some gas and what is it the the gas and air that's gas and air i would have taken some gas and air no gas and air yeah i think a little bit of gas and air would have taken my mind off it a bit i mean they they put some like numbing gel like on my on my wiener and stuff but they he didn't leave it long enough for it to work he just like okay i'm putting some gel on boom the camera's in. I was like, Jesus. Have you ever heard of it?

Luckily, it was quick. And he was in there for like a minute. He's like, yeah, it all looks fine. And then he's like, all right, pump the water. I'm coming out. Because he had like an assistant or whatever. And then the assistant's like, the water's pumping. And then boom, it was out.

And after that, I just had to take a monster piss. And then ever since then, it's been just burning a little bit when i when i pee you know when they say pump the water were they filling your bladder with water yeah they fill it up like uh like not not tons like just just a bit you know like and i think also it helps like keep things moving a bit like when the camera is like you know going through the tubes and whatever so this is like a little bit of water comes out of the uh the camera so the camera is getting a little underwater view sort of yeah it's like subnautica in there yeah it is yeah yeah yeah steve zizou yeah yeah we are here it dips his bladder yeah james camera would love to go it looks like the inside of your bladder looks like like uh

you know like the comically the outside of a brain you know it's like all bumpy and weird looking and stuff that's what the inside of your bladder looks like it just it's all like bumpy and uh and it's yellow as well like a coral like it's the color unidentified coral reef yeah yeah yeah it's pretty gross yeah there's like importantly you're well yeah it was all clear he said so so my issue seems to be that i don't have any any issues with my prostate which is uh relief and there's no issues with my bladder yeah he thinks that the neck of my bladder has narrowed and he said it just happens sometimes and he said you can take some pills but if you take some pills it'll open things up but your blood pressure will be affected so if you stand up quickly you'll pass out and also

you won't be able to come anymore so i was like you know what i'll just deal with the weak flow i'd rather be able to get up really quick and come all over the place like exactly you know what i mean you might have to spring into everywhere you can still like you can still have an orgasm and stuff just nothing will come out apparently it's a side effect of these pills and he said if it got if it got really bad where it was like obstructed and he had to do like surgery on it or whatever he said you might never get a boner again and like stuff like that but he said it's it's just it's just narrowed a little bit like it's fine i said oh well i'll just i'll put up with it then that sounds like they could use those things as uh

male birth control pills if nothing comes yeah yeah kind of yeah it's uh i guess i guess it would be pretty effective honestly it's not not really a bad thing because uh i've already got too many kids i don't want any accidents i don't want i don't want a fourth or a fifth or god you know definitely we've noticed this year you've the kids have been more it's suddenly it was okay it was okay you could still do stuff you could still go away sometimes and now it's like now it's just like it's impossible yeah yeah i mean the baby is getting bigger and it's it is like easing a little bit but it's still like still early days you know yeah pretty good though she's walking

she's she wears shoes she wears shoes. She wears shoes. She puts her shoes on and stuff. Like, she's getting there. But it'll be hard to go away. It's quite a big age difference as well in your kids, actually. Yeah. Like, my middle kid just turned seven. So, there's, like, a six-year difference between her and the baby.

And then there's a ten-year difference between my son and the baby. So, yeah. some fairly big gaps but it's kind of nice because the baby will get to be a baby a lot a lot longer sort of thing right because she'll be the youngest and by the time she as she's growing up the other two will just be out at the disco doing their own thing yeah exactly so i mean it's uh it's you know there's pros and cons for sure, but it's nice. It's good. I'd like to do a micro shout-out, if I may. Okay. If this counts.

I got this on Amazon. When I was at TI, one of the makeup ladies showed it to me to clean my glasses. This is the Peeps Spectacles Cleaner, which I got. It has a brush that deploys from one end. Nice. And you take off your glasses and you carefully dust away the stuff. Very nice. I like that, yeah. You take off like that and it's got

this clamp and you clamp it onto your spectacles like so and it cleans both sides at the same time. I've never had cleaner glasses, ladies and gentlemen. Really? Peeps. You ever attempted to get laser eye surgery or anything? We spoke about this in a previous episode.

Yeah, I know, but I can't remember what the outcome was. Okay, well, the outcome was the surface of my eyes is too thin. And the guy said, no, we can't. The best we could do is implant contact lenses under the surface of your eye. And he said, but we'd want to give you these new ones that are coming out that are reading glasses and regular lenses at the same time that implants.

So I previously never had varifocals or bifocals or anything like that. And that's what I have now. These are reading glasses and long farsighted glasses all in one. And it takes a bit of getting used to. It does. Do you have to put them do you have to to like poise them on the end of your nose to look down through like the right oh no okay no so you see the way they're quite they are quite a couple

of big old bins this bottom part here is for reading so i just have to sort of look down like this i just have to sort of look down if i look like that it sort of goes wrong so I have to keep my eye my head up but when I'm going down the stairs I have to comically look down like a robot sort of because I need to make the noise so if I need to look at something beneath me I have to really look over and I have to like turn my head like this to look because there's no peripheral vision to them because of the way the lenses are. So it's made me a bit more robotic and turny, but it is an improvement. So I bought something old-man-y this week.

I bought this pair of compression arthritis gloves or whatever, hands, because I felt my hands were getting really cold when I was playing games, and I thought this might help. The fingertipless gamer glove. I know. You've become that person. It's awful, isn't it? Yeah, it looks fucking really creepy.

I don't know why, but this happens when it's... What is it, made of, like, latex or something? It's not like I've got the heating turned off or anything. It's not like I'm living in, like, some cheapskate or I'm freezing. Well, art galleries are pretty big, though. They're kind of hard to heat. Yeah, that art gallery is going to get cold in the winter. It's not properly insulated in there.

They're quite open and airy, aren't they? I did this. You've put your own art on the wall. No one else will put it on the wall. Maybe my mum will. I'll send her one. Do you have any giant pictures of yourself around the house as well like no i've got those in the office i've got a couple of giant pictures of

myself at the office nice but you know you gotta put something on the walls haven't you i can't i can't have empty walls or buy some like ikea artwork you know i've got to have something that means something you know why don't you go to B&Q? They have like cheap pictures. You know, you can get like a picture of Marilyn Monroe or like they have like those pictures of like Kate Moss. But there's like some glitzy bling like on her titties or whatever. You know, like they do those pictures, right? Like you can just, you can, you get them. Would you want one of those?

Like that's just like to have a picture well it looks like somebody's it looks like like a baboon is loose in uh in lewis's flat and threw shit all over the wall uh currently so yeah i think i would rather have okay those aren't your only two choices i'm just saying no yeah i know i know i know this is this is they do look like someone's thrown shit at them actually but that But that's part of it, you know? Is that how you did it? Did you have to, like, put, like, a sponge in the paint and then throw, like, little sponges at it? Or was it just like...

I don't want to give away my secrets. Yeah. Painting that shit. Did you paint it the way that lady did in... What was it called? The Big Lebowski, where she flies naked on a sort of zip line above the paint and goes like that with her brushes as she goes over the canvas

that's you gotta put that kind of um that's the art behind it that's the art that's the art um so yeah i was nearly late this morning and i'm doing it from home. Of course I should be in the studio, but, um, I was, you got a stand at home. Jesus. And, uh, I had a washing machine delivered this morning. Three men.

I didn't know whether they would make it in time. Cause they said they gave me a window between nine and one. That was the surprise. And of course they turn up at, you know, 20 past 12. Yeah. And, um, And, of course, they turn up at, you know, 20 past 12. Yeah. And rush around and just...

I don't even know if they've properly set it up. What make a washing machine... It's kind of satisfying when they get in, though, right? Once they're in, they're just like... They go like the clappers, you know? They get everything done really quick. They do, because they want to get it over with. Yeah, of course.

They know that there's no... You know, the Russian spy house behind me is having work done on it, because they want to rent it out. Hold on. We're going to find out now. Here we go. It's a Logic. I have never heard of that brand.

Should have gone for a Bosch. Should have gone for a Miele. I didn't buy it. A Miele is pretty good. A Bosch. You could have also gotten a Kenmore. I don't think they even make Kenmores anymore. Miele, baby.

I think it's just the cheapest one my landlord could buy. He went to like Currys.com or whatever the fuck you buy. What's the cheapest washing machine you've got? Well, we've got this. Yeah, that one. That one. The one that's the display model that someone's been resting their teacup

on in the warehouse. That one. That'll do for the likes of him. So that's what I'm dealing of him yeah so so that's that's what i'm dealing with nice and it's a combination washer dryer right so you can just you can you can dry your underpants as soon as you've washed them in the same machine well yeah i think so i i hope so i'm gonna have to figure it out i i've just the problem is the old one just was slowly going wrong like it wouldn't open after cycles and it was like not taking fabric softener you know and it was just like gradually becoming

just falling apart and so obviously now i've just replaced it with another cheap one again this is just this is just what happens um but this morning i had a bit of fright because i was going through some of the washing and um i saw this like flicker like a flitter in my cupboard and i realized i thought fuck is that like a moth and then i looked around say that that's my trigger word there's like some moths in my cupboard on my clothes and i'm on moth shit so i went through the whole cupboard and pulled everything out and i found like four or five little clothes moths. Oh, dude. We've had a problem with moths for about three years now. I don't know what to do.

I'll tell you what you've got to do. You've got to find out where the fuckers are nesting, and it's not just on your clothes, all right? You can get these moth traps and moth bombs that will kill them, but there'll be something in your house. We found out that it was, over the winter, we've got a hammock, one of those deployable hammocks in the garden it's like a metal frame and you just hang the hammock material off it it's really nice we

brought that in over winter rolled it up and it was there and they are looking for somewhere where there are little crevices and cracks preferably fabric but organic material will do and they'll nest in there and they weave these little silken pouches and they have all their babies and the babies are in there and occasionally they'll just hatch out and you'll see fucking moths. You're like, where are they fucking coming from? Went through our cupboard, there was an old bag of flour at the back of the cupboard and all along the crack there where it was folded

over were moths and moth eggs and things like that. You can hunt around because they will fucking get everywhere. Their pantry moths are the ones that are little flippy brown. They go like like they're not like big graceful moths. They're like little flappy brown, very plain moths. They're pantry moths, I think they're called. And clothes moths are very similar. We see them all over the house. Not anymore because we cleaned out. We found the nest and the last nest we found,

my youngest daughter found it. She was like, I reckon they're coming from that jar of potpourri that we had from last christmas mrs effort made a jar she got a vase she put a load of pine cones and stuff in it put some scented things in there and it was a nice christmas potpourri now the potpourri and the fuckers had invaded it it was now it was moth puri they were coming out of the woodwork so we actually chucked it all the way that's why you should never let nature into your house you should never like if you're gonna buy a potpourri you should buy a store-bought one because they're demothed if you're bringing pine cones in and stuff from outside you don't know where those things have been you don't know what's on them either there might be

some larvae on there or something right also we tend to have the back door open in the summer they come in they find somewhere to settle down, and they make a nest, and then you've got moths up your penis. I'll tell you what, you think a camera's bad. Imagine a bunch of moths. I could not imagine having a couple of moths in my penis after having that camera in there. You know what?

You're not designed to have anything in there, honestly. You're only designed for some pee-pee to come out, and that's it to for some some peepee to come out and that's it and also some other stuff to come out too but nothing should really go in there like there's uh it's sensitive and it burns that you're like when something's gone in there it's not meant to be in there it burns after like it's like the lining is it's all fucked up you know well look you'll get better i can tell this has made you grumpy. No, no, it's fine. Do you know what? Like a couple of my pisses like since yesterday,

because it was yesterday morning, there was burning. And you know what? Just before we started the podcast, I've been making sure that I'm keeping hydrated because I don't want to get an infection. Went for a pee, no burning. It's already passed. I don't know how I do it.

Like my recovery times are just incredible. It's like I never even had it, you know? It's like only just over 24 hours. Boom. No burning. So, I've just forgotten, but we are doing this live. Yeah. I sort of forgot that we were for a second.

Just to let people know this is a thing. They can ask. It's pickaxe week. Potentially, this could be mailbag live. Now, some people obviously don't love the mailbag. Well, one person wait it was at the one person where you read his email as well where he was just like being no i don't think i read his email okay look lollip is in chat says la mau hi got that that's not a question um well i'm just gonna do all the same stuff that I do when we normally do this pretend like the cameras aren't on

I'm checking my phone I'm going to read some stuff on the internet while you guys are talking if you guys want to start talking about something or whatever I've got a question see if anyone in chat knows what this could be I logged off my computer last night

or night before last what do you mean logged off I turned it off logged off my computer last night or night before last sorry what do you mean logged off like i i turned it off right okay right i turned it you didn't just sign out of it and leave it on like no no because i used to do another tomorrow or whatever my mate was like you really shouldn't leave it on i was like i thought it used hardly any power and it basically goes to sleep he was like well it's bad for the components and all the rest of it was like fair enough so i started turning it off every night i always thought that it was better for it to be on.

No, I don't know if that's true, but that was what I was basing my opinion on, was that the constant surging of electricity when you turn it on is what's bad for the components and all the rest of it. I can't imagine that it just sitting there with electricity buzzing around it continually wearing and tearing at the little

electrons, smashing into things all the time. That can't be good either. And it is using electricity uh all the time and the fucking cost of energy these days mate it's gone through your bloody roof yeah tell me about we're heading to we're heading for one of the biggest economic slumps uh my young mind can even remember like uh it's the next two years it's going to be pretty pretty bad so so turn that fucker off so anyway i turn on the next morning and it signed me out of everything absolutely everything every single website everything so something must have happened overnight with windows or something where all the cookies have been removed my browser history is the same my home page on google where it has all the websites all that's fine so it hasn't like it's not a profile thing all my cookies were deleted or something happened to windows where they're

like we're gonna have to wipe all the cookies it's a whole security change or whatever something's happened but i had to re-sign back into fucking everything it's a it's i just wonder what did i do did i do something wrong was this windows was it me was it bill take a pc for moths chat is suggesting have a good look for eating the cookies there's the cookie monster is a suggestion like every once in a while stuff will sign you out though right i think maybe if you turned your computer off and maybe if a driver updated or something maybe like a signature is different and it's just like double checking to make sure that it's actually you and you're you know because i or maybe you picked up like a different like ip uh address like or in a different range or something

like that when you turn it back on and that's enough because sometimes like sites will try to profile you based on certain things right so if so if one of those things has changed it might think hang on a second this guy's signing in but he's not signing in from the usual place or something like that you know maybe i think all of this stuff from watching a lot, this guy's signing in, but he's not signing in from the usual place or something like that, you know? Maybe. I think all of this stuff from watching a lot of crime, it's probably someone who did it. Like first-hand crime, or you've been

watching. I'm a crime watcher. I think you think it's... I scour the streets looking for crime so I can watch it happening. But like, who did one of your kids was on your computer when you weren't there and they were like, oh, that's one of your kids was on your computer when you weren't there and they might have been miss is that yeah wait do you let your your family use your computer no no i mean i would not either like not that i have i don't have anything to hide i just yeah but you don't have a choice they're gonna be in there sneaking in when you're not looking they are not when you're away

my kids are never on my computer they will never they've They've got their own stuff. They got their own. They got their bikes and a computer back there. They got all sorts of shit back there. They don't need to go on my computer. There's nothing on here that's of any interest to them. I don't want them accessing my 800 plus games Steam library without me knowing about it. Exactly.

800, them's rookie numbers. I know. It's because I don't buy games. I just wait for people to give them to me. 800 Dems rookie numbers I know well it's you know it's because I don't buy games I just wait for people to give them to me so it's low numbers

but honestly the amount of money I've spent on games not really that much 10 years of Jiggle Jam though like yeah

it's true it all adds up that'll give you a lot of games I got 2793 games in my Steam library that's a lot of games actually how do you, how do you check how many you have?

I'm going to check. You just sort by you just have all you just have no filter on your Steam library. Oh, I have 856 games 12 soundtracks 1 video

and 193 tools. 604. I don't know what all those tools are for but 604. Yeah, 604 i don't know what all those tools are are for but 604 yeah 604 but i put a lot of hours into some of those yeah football managers each one has got like thousands of thousands currently cranking the the current one for any football manager fans i took late norian up to league one we got into the playoffs we lost six one on aggregate to it switch in the playoffs that's a that's disgraceful yeah oh you know that's better than we expected we got a we got a message in chat from tan blatchman

that's a bodega reference he says how was meeting that porn star at ti flax oh yeah i've never seen that porn star before flax which actually i was quite pleased about because it means i didn't recognize it i genuinely didn't recognize it like a hand to heart i did not recognize it yeah and i saw pictures on socials and stuff of various players with someone like i was like who's she and someone was like oh that's eva elfie i was like oh was she like a streamer or something they were like no she's a porn star i was like oh what was she doing at ti just making content just making content yeah she was there with god who was she with one of the fucking crypt like making like porn content at ti yeah it might be one x bet actually yeah she was there with god who was she with one of the fucking crypt like making like porn content at tia it might have been one x bet actually that she was there someone some betting or crypto shit all the usual nefarious suspects right that loiter around esports so she

was just filming content she was just filming a porn in uh not a porn she was an interview she interviewed me and she interviewed a bunch of other people anyone that she saw that was associated with the production she'd be up and say can i have an interview and i was like innocently i was like sure and then she was like i did not recognize her man okay but what if what if she's interviewing you and you didn't realize that it was for a porn and then so she's interviewing you and you're like yeah whatever and stuff and then she's like it's getting hot no no and then it cuts over to like the the part where they're fucking. And there's a lookalike of you, stunt double, fucking this girl.

Johnny Sins. They get Johnny Sins in. Yeah, they can get somebody in. There's some bald guy with glasses. Johnny Sins. Just never show like a real close-up of his face. And then they... So, they made a porn off the back of that interview with you.

I'd love that. I'd love that. That'd be the ultimate fantasy yeah hi i'm here to i hear you ordered a new washing machine you think your wife would be angry if that happened to you though like because like my fault is it well no it's not but it's still kind of like you know maybe your reputation would be like impacted a little bit or something i don't have a fucking reputation nothing's being impacted better than it'd be good hold on hello what's up is that a cup of tea bless you woman this is the stuff that gets cut from the podcast it doesn't normally though does

it not yeah oh the doorbell ring i don't know i don't listen back to them is there lots of long silences while flax answers his door and stuff generally on the podcast or no oh cup of tea that's jay for jingle jam jay for jingle jam sometimes we just pop to the loo in the middle or something and have a little we can't do that now um you can well who cares it's we're here for like an hour and a half dude something like that you gotta go you gotta go man we're here for an hour and a half i'm gonna have to go pee at some point because i can feel one coming on like go pee go pee whenever okay i will i will i don't i don't need to yet i'll hold it for a bit i like i like to build up a big piss you know like because i don't like to go down there yeah if i go too soon it's really weak it's a depressing but i also dude i think it's not healthy what to hold it in

a bit to hold in a monster piss yeah no no because to go too often you weaken your bladder's ability to to hold on right it's like training so you've got a you got to hold on a bit you should need to go you shouldn't just go every fucking 10 minutes i need to go but i don't need to shoulder jesus i must have slept funny my shoulders fucking killing me we're so old! My God! What is happening to us? This is like...

We're talking about dip cameras, how we're peeing. We're talking about how often we need to go. My fucking shoulder's ruined. Anyone got a tip? My shoulder's killing me. It's like right inside. I must have slept funny.

It's so fucking bad. You need a masseuse. You need to go and have your knots taken out. It's from sitting in a chair too much all day. You've got to go lift some weights. You know what? You wouldn't get that if you had muscles in your shoulders and your arms. It was all tightened up, you know?

I've got muscles in my shoulders, baby. I can fucking lift some shit. I couldn't turn the cold water tap in my flat to turn it off i think it's seized what let's just put a get some wd-40 on it john get some wd-40 pipes though it's like what's the follows old copper fuck this place is i really ought to get my own place at some point it's rent renting that you've been saying that as long as i've known you bud bud. I know. I'm just too... I don't need much. I'm just in a little flat. I don't want a bigger house or even a house.

It would just be me in there. This is fine. I've got me and my moths. You've really personalized it. And your art. Me. You've got all your art. Maybe you should start doing some different kind of art

to keep you company. You could become an anime artist. Don't do that you could draw your your girls you could draw your french girls your waifus fan up welcome welcome this is my uh my humble abode these are my many waifus uh don't touch i think all the artists we've got at yogs are like pervs as well because nina drew that like um fan art of simon as a simon sexy cats for christmas and that's her favorite

jingle jam moment apparently um and it was like all artists are perverts all artists it's like a semi-fairy thing i think nina would be like how do you explain this one i'm not an art artist and i'm a big pervert so uh but you don'tvert. So you don't have to be, you don't have to be an artist to be a pervert, but if you're an artist, you are a pervert. Harry would be happy doing like cursed art, like daily,

you know, if he was, if, if he would, if he was into it, you know, like, like,

or not, he would just be like, yeah, sure. I'll, I'll, I'll knock together some, some pervy stuff.

He's, um, someone in chat said like, did Simon mentioned like that we recruited harry when we were 15 i just want to put it out there that we didn't hire a 15 year old okay we knew about him like because he did some some channel art for us way way way back in the day harry was originally a sips fan yeah sure and did some like channel backgrounds this must be 12 years ago now 2011 and um and then eventually yeah actually he we recruit we we yeah when he was like old enough when he finished

school or whatever i don't know what he did he did he did a thing we didn't but and with sarah it's similar she she's not 15 years old sarah you'll talk she's like in her 20s it's fine she's uh we're not hiring we're not hiring children it looks like it yeah um man i did that thing where when you're sitting in your chair does not sound good does it sounds like i'm backtracking you can talk about children there's no problem with that i mean we we we own five between us so you know children are something we're familiar with you don't put them to work we know about i fucking wish i could son i do i do put mine to work i say clean this lounge i come in from a long day of work and i i i take one look at the lounge and i say you kids better clean this lounge you better

clean this shit up my kids do the dishwasher every day. Every day they have to unload the dishwasher. I got to get mine on that as well, actually. That'd be good. The dishwasher and what else? They clean their rooms. I got to get them on some outdoor tasks as well. Yeah, I think the dishwasher is quick.

We do that. We do make them do that. We can get the dishwasher done in less than a minute. I don't consider that to be a good use of their time. Less than a minute. Yeah, but you're alone, mate. We're talking a dishwasher done in like less than a minute. I don't consider that to be a good use of our time. Less than a minute. Yeah, but you're alone, mate. We're talking a dishwasher for four. You're doing a dishwasher for one, right?

So four people. You're not doing a dishwasher for one, are you? I could unload the dishwasher right now. Okay, but like what? One plate, like one fork. Do you run it or do you let it build up a bit? Don't the plates and stuff get stinky if they're if you're letting a big load like uh accumulate because like we have a meal and it has to go on like it's it's fucking rammed yeah like it's like so you could use the

rinse if it's not like half if it's half full oh i guess yeah yeah i mean the problem we've got is when you've got young kids they will use a cup they will drink water from a cup and put it on the side and then when they want another drink water they'll take a different cup yeah so you just end up with fucking a hundred we got we've got some bottles for them to to use they they have to take bottles to school with them and then they just keep drinking from that when they get home yeah because otherwise the cups it would just be too much just fucking you're in under it's like an ocean of cups cups all over the damn place can't move no um yeah how about a whatsapp message big load accumulating you can't let a big load accumulate in the uh build up you

gotta let it out release the load you gotta like turn that release valve occasionally and just hope for the best my period my 27 year old fiance still does the cup thing yeah all right so here's the question astro 570 which is the the question is my 27 year old fiance still does the cup thing she's just moved into wine glasses here's my question does she have to do the washing up or the dishes at all or is this something that you do because if not you know you should just do the most passive aggressive thing possible just wash your stuff and then be like well that's that's your stuff. You wash your stuff. I'll wash my stuff. If you want to be a dick about it, you can just fucking suck it up. Wash the cups and glasses.

Job done. It's really up to you. I wouldn't do the passive-aggressive thing. It's a dogshit thing to do. Is it supposed to be us asking him the questions? No, we answer questions. We don't ask questions. You just did, did though we're problem

solvers not problem creators indeed although some of our answers may create other problems we don't intend that's not our problem hey what did you guys think of the uh the uh mid mid uh midterm election results in uh america you want to talk about that couldn't give a fuck i do i think it's fascinating the amount of media presence the American elections have over here. I hadn't heard about this red wave, but apparently no red wave came or something. I don't know what the heck is going on over there. I thought it was going to be like, Trump will win us all these elections. You've spent a lot of time on your phone.

How did people figure that? He's not popular. Like, why did they think that he was going to do well in this midterm election? Because the media presents it. He does a rally every week to the same five people. He basically has his own Reddit that he just gets on a soapbox and shouts at or whatever. And it's the same people turning up every time. So he thinks that he's popular because he does these things and they're jam-packed or whatever?

that he's popular because he does these things and they're jam-packed or whatever he didn't interview where he said if everything works um they will say it was wasn't because of me and if everything goes wrong they'll say it was my fault and something like that like he he thinks the opposite is true he thinks if the republicans do well it's because of him and if they do poorly it's because they didn't do enough and that so now they're blaming young people because they're saying that young people aren't voting republican and that's right and that's a problem but historically they haven't like that's what gets me historically the voting scale has pretty much always been the same it always will be more younger people tend to be more liberal and as people get older they tend to become more conservative but the thing is what is conservative

when you're 60 may not have been conservative when you were 18 you might not have changed much society has kind of changed behind you if you like as you're progressing through life if you consider what a conservative in the 1950s looked like compared to a conservative now i'm not talking a trumpist supporter i'm talking about just a regular conservative you might say that that's changed a huge amount it has yeah do you reckon trump's i think the i think that they the abortion thing has alienated a lot of people but you reckon because trump's a big baby right he thinks that if people have more babies they'll be like him and vote republican right they'll be more family oriented if they have a family the push the push amongst the super

future trump guys is um the i trump guys is um i don't know i don't want to talk about politics too much but have you heard about like the great replacement theory which is a lot of right-wing nutters push this idea that white people are being bred out of existence in their countries and so we need more white people to have babies so that's a big sort of push for a lot of the ultra far right in america and not so much in britain but i'm sure well man i've done my part in that uh crusade because fuck me i have too many too many white babies i got you white i got fucking a million white kids in my house right now you sons of bitches so you better be happy but i really think i saw a thing this week that was like you know we it's certainly in

england or in the uk the the great funny thing about immigration is that they didn't come here first we went to their country took it over yeah they made them a british subject and then they were like oh i could go anywhere in in the commonwealth now and obviously that was i don't know if you can really do that though i think in theory people like to think that if you're part of the commonwealth you can but like when i moved over here i was i moved over from a commonwealth country to to the uk and it was tough like if we weren't getting married there's no way i would have been able to come over here like it's just you know what i mean like and and canada is a western country a rich rich country you know like it and and it and it was it was difficult without you know having like yeah i was i i was educated everything and it would have been really

hard for me to come to come over here even though it's like wait but you're talking about to jersey well or to the uk like you have to you have to you basically to get to jersey in the first place you have to to immigrate through the uk so you have to go through like the british consulate and everything and then come over and then take the extra step to go to jersey sort of thing right because it's all it's all linked together that's separate but but linked but yeah like you have to do it and uh but if if i wasn't coming over to to to specifically get married they would have just said no you can't come over even though i would have been you know i could i could have gone up to the team big time yeah i was i was educated i was ready to ready to go i was

ready to get my my hands dirty you know and they would have said talking about politics as well obviously you mentioned that there's like a cost of living crisis. Okay. Yeah. I. I. This is obviously terrible. I'm not affected by this, so I can't imagine that it exists. No. I. I read this week that it is obviously going to put 350 million people into food insecurity, which is their new way of saying people will starve to death.

In Brunelow? That's unbelievable. It's terrible. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's just such a bullshit way of saying it. But on the bright side- Here we go.

Here we go. This is kind of like a carbon tax, right, for the climate. I'm not one of these climate crazy people who's going to jump over a gantry of the M25 and block up the motorway. You want people to be poor and die so they pollute the planet less. Is that where you're going? No, I'm just saying that, like... If there were less people, there wouldn't be as much pollution. That's all I'm saying.

So, no, hold on. My theory is right. The more people starve to death, the better it is for the rest of us left behind yeah that's obviously not where i was going i think it's a really it's a really like a conservative thing to say that like uh like the world has its own way of uh of of evening out or whatever right natural selection and stuff like that isn't it the guy theory where the earth is a living thing i'm setting up this by saying obviously we need to do something to help people in and it's and it's such a a nasty way like food

insecurity is such a nasty way of saying people are gonna starve to death you know it's kind of like hiding the problem it's like food insurance doesn't sound like that much of a problem but like collateral damage it obviously is a huge huge problem my thing is that a lot of people who were before probably fairly wasteful in the middle class are now delaying putting their central heating on they're using less energy they're being much more conscious about the environment because of money right hey wait do you guys have uh are you do you guys have like uh like like like uh different tariffs like for your your energy and stuff where you guys are flax do you do you have times of the day where like electricity costs more than others and stuff

i guess what i'm no i don't know that we do that's really interesting i guess what i'm trying to say is that is the is this cost of living crisis going to be good for the environment is that like a side effect of of things you know not obviously because people are dying but because of starvation if that's even a thing that's going to happen is is this because i like freakonomics i like listening everyone in chat is just saying no it's not good for the environment. Well, this is the thing. What happened with COVID was... What do they know?

What do they know? They're sitting at home watching Twitch. That's right. Actually, that's true, chat. You don't know. Even worse, most of them aren't at home. They're hiding away like a squirrel in a bathroom at an office. Not even doing their jobs, lads.

A bunch of either unemployed people students or layabout workers yeah uh watching this and apparently they know what they're doing this has happened time and time again right at covid you know that there was a big sort of idea that all the climate was was better because um you know people weren't going out and in the financial crisis as well there weren't as many flights as well in the in the climate in the in the financial crisis as well there weren't as many flights as well which in the in the climate in the in the financial crisis there was this huge shutdown of lots of stuff which was obviously terrible but it did help the climate okay but then how much did it help it though did it cool well did the world cool down well what happened was that the stimulus that they put out after

the financial crisis undid all of the good inverted commas goods that came out of um the the the i think it's a similar thing this year and i i just wonder like i don't know because i i'm fascinated by these like ideas that you think you know what or i think it sounds like something would be good for the environment right if everyone was using this electricity they would try they were wearing more jumpers they were saving money they were like you know not wasting as much that sounds good but in reality does that actually lead to more pollution because food is like being made cheaper or people are doing like what what's what actually happens like it's very

complicated isn't it so like it's very complicated because it often isn't the answer you think it's going to be it's not you know people struggling is not necessarily gonna help the anything you know it might lead to slower uptake of you know um environmental like um power supplies and sources and stuff you know people might start going back to burning like wood again and like more coal again you know to to stay warm you know how much the hell are they gonna get coal to burn i like i like the ground you have to fucking they'd have to import it now, right? There's no... They're not excavating it here. I'm not suggesting the people who are going into food insecurity. I'm...

I thought they closed all the mines down. Watching chat. We still use coal. Just don't read chat. I don't know anything, chat. As you know, this is not the podcast for informed discussion. It's the podcast for me having weird theories about stuff and asking you. You're not saying this is true.

You're asking questions. I think that's fine. I think if you can't ask questions and say, what is the deal with that? And this is all very complicated. All I'm saying is, can't we see something good out of the cost of living crisis? Because it's all very negative at the moment.

I'm just saying, is there a bright side do you mean i'm trying to make a clickbait uh conspiracy theory that somehow saying there's no such thing as a stupid question that's bullshit there's a lot of stupid questions like really dumb fucking questions right like whoever whoever came up that quote has not spent a single minute in twitch chat i would wager right there's no way yeah there's a lot of dumb fucking questions hey here's a here's another here's another story i was reading just today i was watching a video which country do you think is the cocaine capital of europe it's gotta be uh like uh it's gotta be like uh belarus or like uh like romania or some somewhere like that some somewhere no looking at twitch chat either of you i think i for some reason i think it's like the czech republic italy or something or spain it is belgium oh shit i was

close okay i was belgium is the cocaine cocaine capital world a lot of cocaine goes in there and there are a few reasons a few reasons all these Balkan gangs went to Belgium and have set up these drug empires out of there you ship it over from South America

Belgium has a lot of shipping container yards a lot of ports and stuff it comes into Belgium and disseminates through Europe. This is the campaign of Modern Warfare 2. Here we go. Right. Did you do a big cocaine bust

in the port of Belgium? Okay, so the plot of Modern Warfare 2, not really a spoiler. Don't spoil it! Who cares? Is that an Iranian general has teamed up with Russian arms dealers and Mexican drug cartels or possibly Colombian. It's like Sesame Street, but bad guys.

Why do they bother with this shit? They get a 10-year-old to write this stuff. And they go to Amsterdam. And they put it into a game. It's so dumb. And they set up this, like, they smuggle this missile to Amsterdam. And they put it into a game. It's so dumb. And they set up... For a weekend. It's like they smuggle this missile through Amsterdam. We're taking the missile to Amsterdam. It's like the...

Why are you taking it to Amsterdam? There's nothing in Amsterdam. We take to Amsterdam. We blow it up. No, they're not blowing Amsterdam up. They're using it because it's got such an open port or something. And so all the drugs come in there. Right.

And now, I thought this was all bollocks. But now you're telling me Belgium next door is the cocaine capital. That's right. The Netherlands is number two. It suddenly makes Melbourne and Wolfe sound believable. They've got big ports in the Netherlands. Is it Rotterdam has one of the biggest ports, busiest ports in the world or whatever naples is also because the port is so efficient and so so and you can ship so many containers in they can't scan every single one and go through some

of them just get through so yeah they're flying through so even if one in ten jimmy one in ten looks like we missed that container jam-packed full of cocaine again. Exactly. But it's so cheap to produce. I mean, how much do you think the farmers that are making the coca into cocaína down in South America are getting paid? They ain't getting paid a lot. No. You talk about La Costa living crisis.

Yeah. They can barely afford to heat their burritos, let alone fucking find a better way of life. It's miserable down there. They can't even heat up their burritos. They can't heat a burrito. They've got cold burrito. Burrito frito. They've got over there. Burrito frito.

Oh, fuck's sake I don't even think Frito is cold in Spanish I'm sorry No, I think it's actually I think it's Frito It's actually Coldorino, I think Coldorino That is right Fuck's sake

Got it So anyway, the production costs are very low Your biggest cost is loss of shipment If you ship a bunch over If one of them goes through So anyway, the production costs are very low. Your biggest cost is loss of shipment. If you ship a bunch over, if one of them goes through, you make money. Yeah. Do they do all their eggs in one basket? They did the submarine as well. Did you guys see the cocaine submarine?

They bought an old USSR submarine and just filled it with cocaine. Submariner cocaine. Yeah. And then it surfaced probably off the coast of Belgium, honestly. Couldn't they just... I don't think it's going all the way across the Atlantic. We did, yeah. The idea was to send it across

the Atlantic, yeah. Some shoddy half-made sub. No, they can't be. I know they did it from South America up to Miami. And they got the cocaine there, but i don't know if they did it oh here's the thing couldn't you just put a load of cocaine in a torpedo and shoot it out and when it surfaces there you go you don't even need to go close to shore man i hope that i fucking hope that that torpedo uh makes land somehow

and then just explodes in the middle of my big New Year's Eve party that I'm planning on hosting this year. Can you imagine that? Everybody's just like. Right on the southern coast of Florida. Yeah, just everybody's just ready to ring in the new year. Holy shit, the torpedo explodes. Cocaine for everybody. Just like sniff in the air.

Oh, shit. That'd be something be so yeah it'd be pretty incredible all right i gotta pee i'll be right back all right bud all right you do that in his tracksuit what trousers you got on today me yeah you jeans it's just you and me buddy jeans on normal jeans like normal clothes i look normal i've got normal clothes on you can you see why i thought you had a poncho on the brown sort of not, but the brown part of the pattern, when you sit back like that, it looks like the edge of a poncho. Well, this was just one of my jumpers that didn't have any moths on it. Moth-free.

Moth-free and proud. As far as I know. Although I have been, like, all the podcasts, I've been, like, feeling itchy. Almost like I am covered in moths. It's ridiculous. I mean, we were seeing them 10 or 20 a night and we were like killing them. And Mrs. F, by the end, at first she was like, I can't stand killing these poor little things.

I was like, I know, I feel awful. And they're like, do, do, do, do. And I'm just like, yeah, gotcha. And the cat was pouncing on them. We were like, get her, puss. Get that moth. But eventually we just got him. So eventually you grow to despise your enemy

is the message I would take from it. It's sad. But once we wiped out their base, that was it. GG. No more moths. But they'll be back and we're going to be ready.

Don't you worry, Lewis. I heard mothballs were really bad for you. They're not even allowed anymore. They're illegal. They're toxic. Well, we got these fucking... worry lewis i heard mothballs were really bad for you they're like no you don't need them anymore they're like illegal they're like well we got these fucking these are the kind of shit that they sell that people believe fucking mrs f bought into this bollocks right but you get this disc of some fucking wood pine wood or some some fucking well like cedar wood with lavender oil or some shit a load of fucking bollocks mate you know what worked that worked and the sticky triangles you get a cardboard triangle you hang it and they get stuck in there they're like that worked

and destroying their home base worked the fucking load of bollocks you can't potpourri them out of existence that's how they got there in the first place exactly you gotta get in there and fucking crush them yeah i don't think we need to moths are gone the war is over i've got i'm not concerned about i'm not concerned about moths um well i am but i'm not concerned about saving them do you mean i think there's on the list of things that i care about you know if a bee like was like worry about the sad in front of me i'd be like oh fucking bee i'd pick it up and give it some you know squeeze a little tiny drip of honey on there and it's like blood there's more honey than

i've ever seen in my life you gotta give them blood you gotta prick your finger and give them a tiny bit of blood that makes them strong that's that's uh my for a bee that's why yeah we got vampire bees all over twickenham i've been starting is this true 100 i believe you already that's weird so what you prick your finger give it a little bit of blood yeah and then this is how we end up they get a taste global apocalypse yeah yeah this is but it's the it's the bees turn for revenge you know what goes around comes around we've been fucking the bees over for too long stealing their honey killing them pesticides swapping them i know people that go like, kill the bee. I was like, what the fuck are you doing?

That's a bee, you fucking idiot. You might as well kill yourself. Because if you do the bees right now, we're next. Yeah. I'm back. I think that's a good thing to say to him as well. How do you feel about bees, Sips? I kind of like them, actually.

I like bees. Like, what kind of bees are we talking about like um just normal honeybees bumblebees bumblebee big one i like them a lot these in general fantastic love them yeah me too yeah if you uh if you watch there is a youtube video of slow motion of bees coming and going from their hive they are really uncoordinated they're just like bumping into each other banging into things they can barely coordinate at all i know we get a lot of bees um in our uh in our garden in the uh in the summer it's nice they don't bug anybody sometimes they're just they're just pollinating they're helping get on they're helping out it's good shout out this week shout out shout out to bees can we get

a shout out to bees chat big up uh to bees as well i think you did a mini shout out so we've done a mini shout out already a big shout out and uh big ups who was the big up did we big up to bees as well i think you did a mini shout out so we've done a mini shout out already a big shout out and a big ups who was the big up did we big up bees and shout out i think we did yeah i think they deserve it honestly can we get all b emotes in chat please if you have a b emote now's the time to use it get the b emotes going yeah bees nice doing this live what do you go do you guys think like like i think it's great the only problem is it's getting land us in trouble we're even live a couple of times honestly it just feels like the same old

because we can't edit out all of our controversial takes all the cutback sams will have to be they'll be out there now how much actually gets cut though we don't really say anything that bad 60-70% if Lewis just gets really racist sometimes actually gets cut though we don't really say anything that bad we cut out it's like if lewis

just gets really racist sometimes 60 to 70 percent of the podcast is lewis's racist rants and we have to cut all of that i've tried to keep it to a low level today you know i started re-watching the other day we were about i think we're almost done season one father ted i haven't watched it in a long time man it's so funny jesus christ it's so funny yeah it's got some great bits in it oh father ted's great someone um someone in chat just asked if we've seen the new season of the crown yet sibs i started watching a little bit of it i'm not sure about mcnulty as uh prince as uh charles well prince then prince charles i know he's not prince anymore yeah it's it's okay. I don't know.

I think I just, I watched all four seasons back to back and I think I'm a bit crowned out now. You know? Yeah. It is really good, but it's one of those stupid things where I don't want to watch it. I think this season, especially

the fifth season, is a bit more controversial because I think they're a little bit more making things up now. You know what I mean? They've been criticized for not being. Well, I guess it's because it's more recent. Even trying to be accurate anymore. We've got better info about what happened. And I think probably back in the day, so long ago, that people are like, it probably was the same amount made up before.

The woman who plays Diana in the fifth season has nailed it though she's really good really uh it feels like they nailed it every time with the casting and stuff it's just i don't know about uh i don't know about the prince philip the i like the actor i've seen him in lots of other stuff i think he's great i just don't know if him being cast as Philip of that age was the best one. He seems all right. I don't know. I've only watched like half of the first episode. Like it's the crown so far.

It doesn't feel like any worse or whatever. I think I'm just like not ready to get stuck into it right now, you know? I'll come back around to it, I'm sure. But Olivia Colman took a little while to grow on me, but she turned out great. Yeah, she's fantastic, actually. Great actor.

One of my favorites. The first cast change i i didn't find too jarring actually i thought it was pretty good i thought it was if you watch um if you watch peep show i think she was on some early series of that she was yeah she was the love you watch a lot of early yeah but you watch a lot of early british comedy like late 90s early 2000s she was olivia colman you'd see her pop up on all kinds of things. And now she's like this big deal actor, which is great. Yeah, she's like multi-Bafta winning actress. She won an Oscar. She actually won an Oscar too, holy crap. I think it was for

The Favourite. The Favourite is an incredible film. She was so fucking good in that. Olivia Colman's phenomenal. Absolutely phenomenal. I think she used to work as like a cleaning lady or something. Probably. I think she used to work as like a cleaning lady or something. Probably. I think like when she was getting started.

She wasn't really like very popular. Do you want to maybe share the big ups? Like you want to big her up and maybe just like shout out to the bees and big up to Olivia Coleman? I don't think a shout out for an Oscar winner is really necessary. She's already achieved everything. She's got a lot. The Oscars have shouted her out. Yeah.

Does she need it? No, she doesn't need it. But I think it's nice. I mean, if she's listening right now the Oscars have shouted her out does she need it? no she doesn't need it but I think it's nice I mean if she's listening right now she'd appreciate it I'm sure as well big up to Olivia Colman I'm a massive fan yeah I think big up for Deserved just a big up how long we got? we don't want to stop about now

have you guys been gaming recently? I've been gaming as usual lots of gaming i'm playing uh regrettably overwatch 2 yeah you told me you were out i was i mentally i am and i think that's how i keep playing like i just don't even care anymore like like i i log in i'm just like i'm not even having fun but i just can't stop playing i think i so if something else came out that could catch my interest, I'd be gone in a flash. But for now, I'm kind of in the trenches.

I played a bit of Cyberpunk 2077 and a bit of the campaign of Modern Warfare 2, which neither of them particularly grabbed me. But I was really sick a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, you've been ill for a while. Was it COVID again? It's taken me a couple of weeks to recover. Did you get... Fuck, I don't know.

I keep saying this. I think it might... I'm worried I have like some long COVID because every month I get like two or three days of like fever and fatigue. And I didn't believe that long COVID was a thing until I started getting it. You know, as is the way of humans, you know.

If you get fever symptoms, you could have an infection in your prostate or you could also have an infection in your bladder my p-stream is fine i'm an expert on this whole the whole area my loads are not building up the male anatomy now in the dishwasher they are they are being they're full in full flow i'm i'm getting up i'm not dizzy and i'm coming everywhere nice so i'm as evidenced by the uh the paintings behind you on the wall yes and also you know i've made a note of that um i've i've got cameras i can't pretend that i've actually made a note but uh i've made a note of that porn star, Pflax, for later. Yeah, what was her name again? Eva Elfie.

When she interviewed me, she started off, she was like, how are you enjoying the event? She's Russian, I believe. So she said to me, how are you enjoying the event? I was like, really good. She said, okay, question for you. Who do you think is the hottest Dota hero? And I was like, Queen of Pain is the hottest daughter hero I was like

queen of pain easy answer and I was like now the questions will start being about Dota do you prefer asses or boobies or sex and I was like don't or obviously I mean at least an hour of entertainment yeah come on so yeah you know there's always saucy questions rather than uh just regular i think she might be coming on to you you know and she asked everybody the same question and she was interviewing a lot of very young guys there who were much better looking than me she called her interviews with hot dota players was what she called it i was not on that set of interviews i don't think i'd even make interviews with other dota players yeah so i

don't think mine's even gonna make the cut yeah you should have said bristleback instead of queen of pain like because she wouldn't have even known either way right she doesn't know what that what a dota hero is she probably doesn't even know what dota is she doesn't do porn 24 7 she's although if she's from russia she probably plays a shit ton of dota right let's be real here she's probably like higher rank than we are probably out there being toxic in pubs it wouldn't be it wouldn't be very hard i was herald last time i uh stuck in in in herald forever i think last time i played dota was it was tough wait no did i get up to the brown one was it guardian is it guardian the next one up i think i might it goes herald

guardian crusader archon legend ancient divine immortal i believe oh man yeah so so i also feeling great so i played a bit of ano which is my like return to game when i just want to turn off my brain and not think about anything sometimes i use like factorio satisfactory for the same sort of it's almost like a chore it's like doing a it's like doing the dishwasher you know taking all the plates out put them in the right spaces we're taking one plate and one cup out one single solitary cup tiny cupboard i'm wasteful on i'll you know i've i've got plenty of space you know so i can just use multiple cups and glasses myself i'm not a get get this guy huh yeah you know i want to make sure i've got space in that dishwasher so you know

why not make sure the it gets good use out of the so yeah sorry no i i don't know i just like to i like to play these which they're basically jobs um these games uh when you really get into them well that's the same thing with dota is a full-time job if you get into it i think yeah like like any game that's addictive becomes this kind of um all-encompassing problem tedium yeah yeah and you don't see it necessarily you don't you just it's always like it's like um it's like a habit you know you just automatically load up the game that you're playing that you're not enjoying um you think that's how they feel in belgium when they're all addicted to cocaine all the time well maybe i think a lot of people do only play one game.

And if you tell them, you know, if you ask them, do you love that game? They say, uh, you know. And so I think that like I've tried to fight that with, you know, Jingle Jam and Tiny Teams and like these things where I try and force myself to play. You know where this all heads, right? This whole conversation heads. The new Wo wow expansion comes out on the 28th of november guess who's going to be playing it's going to be lewis well i'm actually going to be at castle he's going to a castle they're paying me to play it you're going to pay him to play

you're going to play it anyway though you're looking forward to it aren't you um i always return to the world of warcraft because i spent 10 years in there and all of you guys there yeah this is one does like to return to the world of warcraft it's such a sobering experience to return to one's origins of course and ah yes where i met so many compadres, compatriots, friends Comrades, colleagues and Coworkers there in the World of Warcraft as I like to Call it

It's a seaman From massive goblet He's got his comp time Glass swirling around No It's got a lot of fond Memories, a lot of pathways In my brain, a lot of like serotonin, I don't know, fucking whatever the chemicals are that feels cozy,

even though I know it's shit. It's dopamine. It's endorphins, right? It unleashes your part of dolphins inside your brain. It feels like a good idea to return. And I definitely get hooked in it for a week or two and then i realized that it's the same old shit i think again my my mantra is i refuse to do a daily quest like i refuse to do the same thing yeah again yeah like even in dota i try

and play different heroes every game like i like you're like the guy that goes to the restaurant and has to order something different every time it goes as well right you can't be the so annoying you can't be the uh you know what i like pizza and i like pizza from here i'm just gonna order pizza you have to be like i'm gonna try the prawn salad oh you know mine's really good can i try some of yours i have to force myself to do that that guy something new it's hard here try some of this can i try some of yours i'm starving it is easy the easy option is just do what you do what you know but i don't think that many of the ways that people think they're pushing themselves by ordering something different in a restaurant it's not really is it you just just order the thing well bear in mind i what about the ice cream the case the ice cream challenge i'm lucky if there's two options do you mean

normally there's no now hang on in bristol there's a ton of fucking vegan restaurants and you drag me to them quite frequently so i'm not gonna have that view out of options i feel as a healthy carnivore there's a distinct lack of meat options in bristol it feels like in fact i'm being swarmed by by liberal vegan agendas everywhere i go in bristol god bless you. Well, I mean, for example, Ravs and Duncan went out a couple of times this week. I couldn't even go out with them, though. They were a couple of places.

They went to Spitfire, which is this grill place. That sounds like a meat place to me. And they went to this steak place as well, which had... Actually, did I go? Did I tell you I did go with them? Bloody Steve's.

Steak place. Well, back in the day, me and you, when I was a meat eater and Sips was a vegetarian, we were in America and we would go to Morton's Steakhouse with poor old Sips. That was fun. And there would not be a single vegetarian thing in the menu. No, but I got the macaroni. They tried to put meat on it, though.

They tried to put meat on everything. It's like, can I have the macaroni, please? And they're like, do you want bacon on that? Nope, just macaroni please they're like do you want bacon on that no just macaroni please like it's like they don't need bacon on everything but like they they insist man they love bacon on everything yeah there and if it's not if it's not bacon it's bacon bits they they'll put sprinkle some salty bacon bits on anything remember that sushi place we went to in vegas i always bring it back to this sip but we went to this sushi place really really fancy with you yeah and they brought a big bowl of rice mound of mound of fish yeah yeah it was a literal

they looked like a hog roast you guys only it was seafood yeah yeah it wasn't it like you know it was like a hundred bucks a head for that like you but you eat fish right i don't eat fish no really yeah no i don't eat the proper so i just got some egg fried rice in a bowl these guys were just like eating fish it was good yeah i'm pretty i'm a pretty basic eater you were pretty chill about it i don't really time but we all felt bad and now now like it's the other shoes on the other foot because i went out to this steak place with ravs duncan and everyone and um and there was a the only vegan option was a cauliflower steak

which I was like oh a cauliflower steak same price as a regular steak what is up with that? a fraction of the price that's what they do that's what they do in London you want the cauliflower steak

it's the same price as a regular steak yeah but that's London though but it wasn't you always end up paying more for everything in London yeah but what's

the justification for that? it wasn't some sort of actual steak it was a cauliflower that had been cooked in an oven or boiled or something so it was like it was just basically the entire fucking head of cauliflower um that was all sort of ready soft and the the steak place that we went to i can't remember the name of it it's in bristol you have to cook your own steak right you go to a place and you have to cook your own food? Yeah, it comes with a hot stone. This is quite popular.

I hate this. I'm fucking paying you to cook me food so I don't have to cook the food. It's an experience. It's meant to be an experience. It's meant to be fun. I would love to experience somebody making the food for me instead of me making the fucking food that's the experience yeah i don't mind when it's like certain things like hot pot or whatever and some people like their carrots crunchy other people

like their carrots fucking mushy whatever like i feel like that's fine but but but steak i feel like when i'm going if if i was still eating a steak, I'd want to make sure it was cooked properly by a professional chef who knows when it's ready. I don't know how long I'm supposed to cook a steak on a stone or whatever. Here's an idea. Especially not a fucking cauliflower. Here's an idea. You've got to practice at home.

You've got a microwave? They brought this cauliflower. Microwave a stone. Get it real hot real hot that sounds safe it'll be fine you can microwave a rock you go to a cafe you go to a cafe they give you everything you need to bake a cake yeah and you bring you your cup of tea and then you've got a little oven you have to make the cake and it comes out and then you decorate it and you make your own cake it's uh it's you know it's like the bakery equivalent to bringing you a hot stone and cooking your steak you get to bake your own cake right then and there yeah do you know what they could do they could fucking go to a restaurant you'll sit down and you'll be like i'll have the chips please and

they just bring you a fucking raw potato drop it on the table give you a potato peeler and give you like a fucking like a little hot pot of boiling hot oil all right good luck you have a slice a piece of kitchen roll to dry them off after you've deep fried them you know why this is popular we don't have to do any of this stuff this sounds like the number one place on tripadvisor that i just right but that's the thing is now what you do is you you go and you get your ready meal you get your fast food or whatever something easy you just bosh it in the oven so you go out so that you have to cook they make you cook at the restaurant that's what people want i'm like i've got an idea to sell an experience i'm gonna set up a booth and people come to my booth and they queue up and all they

do is give me money and i give them nothing in return it's streaming and also that's the experience you get to stand in a line and then give me money that's it that's i'm selling an experience it's an experience yeah that's my stream it is basically my stream yeah but uh you know you are yeah you're selling an experience and like you said P-Flax it makes people do it because they think this will motivate me when I get back home to cook for myself you know it makes people hungry and like feel like oh man I could just

it's like people paying for the gym like a massive subscription to force them to go they're like man if I'm paying this much money that'll force me to go and of course it doesn't never works that sort of trying to trick yourself with that those sort of things yeah like where god i hate the gym where does it go so boring fuck i haven't been in years and years no me neither i just don't want to go but like i i know i should go but like

god there's got to be an easier way to just like kind of get in shape that doesn't require any effort whatsoever it's like i don't want to go there i don't really try this get those electrode things they don't work on your body they don't work apparently you can overdo it with those things as well because some people if you can overdo it that means it because apparently it's like you're only meant to use them for 10 minutes a day but but the the the average mentality is well i'm just sitting here i'll put it on all day so it's like so it's like i've done 100 workouts in a day or whatever but apparently it can kill you if you do that so don't do that yeah no it sounds like a terrible a terrible old school it's like those jiggler jiggler bands so they put those women those things yeah

what was the idea there just lean into it you see how that would be fun oh can i pay to do that absolutely man step back what is going on how was that thing why did they think it was anything i'm gonna look what was it i don't know if it was called the jiggle bands. I feel like that doesn't tone you. It just loosens you even more. I think it's got to, right? It'll leave you feeling loose and exhausted probably, right?

Of course, there's a BuzzFeed article. I worked out on a 1950s fat jiggling machine and here's what happened. Of course, that's an article on BuzzFeed. What was I thinking? Yeah, I don't know. I think people were different kinds of overweight back then, though. All the women on those machines looked like perfectly normal women. I think back then people used to actually cook with lard and stuff, though.

You know, like it was a different type of fat back then, I think. I don't think, I think people are a little bit more conscious of uh well i say that people are rambling shit in their mouth constantly people used to eat like lard and corned beef and dripping and all this stuff you're right but they weren't that fat so like what the heck is going on now and they don't eat that stuff anymore too they didn't they didn't eat as much i think and also there wasn't fast food think about Starbucks Starbucks didn't exist

in the 50s right you couldn't walk in and get a giant pot of sugar this fucking big for four bucks or whatever you just sit there for an hour

ingesting caramel syrup and sugar and cream is it just the sheer amount of sugar volume of stuff because I think sugar's in everything

isn't it it's in yogurts it's in orange juice it's in everything yeah yeah and corn syrup is a big thing in the states that shit in every their bread has tons of sugar in it it's just sugar sugar sugar sugar yeah piled in right so i think that's changed that's changed i think probably people cooked from home a lot more than they used to um i mean, we still, we still buy a bunch of more shit. We still cook at home all the time. Yeah.

We also do less exercise wise, right? I do. I do no exercise. Like my, my daily exercise is like walking to my kids to school and back. Like it's like, it's like a two minute walk.

And like, I don't do anything. I mean, I guess I like pick up the baby and stuff does that count as like uh weight training a little bit she's getting how big is the baby she's pretty big now she's getting i did i did feel like when i was at that point where i was picking up children a lot my back muscles were pretty good yeah i think like i my shoulders killing me all i did was sleep yeah i went to sleep i woke up my shoulders fucked that's not

good you got bad shoulder from sleeping something's gone wrong i woke up. My shoulder's fucked. That's not good. You got a bad shoulder from sleeping. Something's gone wrong. Fuck, I woke up this morning and I was just like, maybe I'm like slowly losing my mind or something. But like, you ever have those days where you wake up and you're like, I don't even know what fucking day it is. I don't know what the heck is going on. That's every day. Who just woke me up?

Every day. Like, I just did not, like, it took so long for my brain to sort of think, like, I think it's Friday. Like, why do I have to do it today? Like, it was really weird. I wake up every morning. I say to Mrs. F, what day is it? What year is it? And I say, yeah, I slept too long.

You slept for eight hours, you idiot. Oh, yeah. But, yeah, no, every morning I wake up, no idea what day it is. For me, I keep fit by just so much sex. Just jacking off all the damn time. Consistent, you know, three times or four times a day. You know, I've been 39 years of, well, obviously. Are you going to be 40 next year?

I am. It was just your birthday recently. So, next year is the big 4-0 huh yeah i'm a bit i'm feeding it we gotta take lewis to a strip club flex we talk about it often enough for his 40th birthday let's take him to a strip club and let's get in our champagne room as well but here's and here's what we should do we should make we should hire the strip club out and do a live stream in the strip club wait or at least a video at least a video you can just hire a prostitute to come and do a strip a private strip for lewis at his apartment and we can live i want this capture

so i don't think they'll let us live stream inside the club you know i bet they would no but the ones in bristol there was one in bristol it was pretty chill i reckon if we said look you can have a gopro on there and ask for a champagne room. Or put his GoPro on his dick and go to the fucking... Oh, my God. How has that not been done? How has that not been done? Yeah, we could take him to the Hooters.

The one remaining Hooters. Where is it? Nottingham? Nottingham. But they've opened another one. Where's the other one, chat? They opened a second one. It was a big deal.

I got a lot of emails about it. Holy crap. I get him. Oh, that would be... Liverpool. Liverpool. Okay. I've never been to Liverpool.

I've been to Nottingham before. Let's go to Liverpool and we'll take Lewis to Hooters for his 40th birthday. Let's not do some fucking Northern shithole version. Let's do it in like somewhere nice. Northern shithole. Like Amsterdam. Any Scousers in chat? Any Scousers in chat?

I don't think they have them down in like Cornwall andole like any scousers in chat they don't do i don't think they have them down in like cornwall and like the the midlands and stuff like that you've got to go north if you want to get if you want to get raunchy and spicy right like that's i think that's how some northern shithole and he picks the the the always a european capital of culture or something it was let's take him to dogaster at some of that time there. Hey, you want a strip club? Come to Rochdale, pal. Fucking birds there are lovely. Get your fucking toddies

out and go on a Rochdale. Hole is fucking great. Come to Hole, Lewis. For your full trip. Fucking what? Come to Grimsby if you want to see the best birds. Grimsby. Grims come to Grimsby if you want to see the best birds. Grimsby.

Grimsbird. Grimsby. Yeah, I mean, look, I'm just saying, if you're going to do it, let's do it proper. Let's do it nice. Let's push the boat out. There's one around the corner from the opposite Bristol. I don't want to just go to Hooters and have to have a fucking flail in there.

I'm saying we'll go to a fucking strip club. Oh, the fucking oh the strip club yeah what they have like a white tiger or something right fuck me there's one in bristol it's very cool it's run by a woman it's not you know i've read it we've read all about it when we did this i don't want to do any of this stuff i'm we're going i'm too awkward and nervous and it doesn't work it doesn't work for me the best time to go when you're feeling awkward and nervous you got to get you out of your comfort zone because that's when the magic happens. Do you know what? Push yourself.

Fine. I'm in. Let's book it. Do we book or do we just turn up? We'll just turn up. You don't need to book. Excuse me. Do we need to book or do we just turn up?

Do it. Just make a mental note of it. I've never been. Just make a mental note. Guys, I'm trying to get back on the rails here. I'm trying to get back on the rails. Right. That's enough short podcast

Alright thank you everyone Love you Goodbye Bye