Triforce! - Triforce! #24: Call Sign of the Triforce

Episode Date: October 19, 2016

A secret codeword for the Triforce, XCom, Hearts of Iron, Zen Lewis and the beginning of Bodega Series 2 (we think)! The Triforce podcast!   Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Triforce podcast Coming to you from three guys sitting around on a Discord channel Naked, naked as the day they were born Fully nude In a lovely bright autumn morning Stark naked Leaves are falling off the trees Yeah

And so are we So how are you guys doing? What's up? What's happening? What's the haps dog? Man I'm like horizontal I just like I'm dead

I don't know why So I was I've been streaming a lot lately I've been doing three streams a week In the evenings It's tough It's like I don't know how streamers do it really

I was playing with Ben last night And he said He made a load of jokes about Bodega And references to the Trifles podcast No way know how streamers do it really i was playing with ben last night and he said um he he made a load of jokes about bodega and references to the trifles podcast no way i was like blown away okay because no one in the yogs cast really or on youtube watches other people's stuff or knows their own i watch everything that you guys put out what are you talking about that's exactly i'm up all night watching that's why i'm always so tired i'm like oh i've got to watch lewis and zips new videos too much content there's just not enough hours in the day to watch it all that's what i get my kids

to watch so i farm it out so they watch them they tell me about it mrs f she gets home from work i make her watch like 10 hours of i bought a warehouse in china and there's like 10 people in there constantly just watching Yogscast videos. Oh, dude, you're so smart. Why didn't I think of that? Jesus. Farm it out to China. I can't keep up.

Yeah. Chinese viewers. I can't keep up. China, China, China, China, China. So, I mean, I was just surprised because I didn't expect it. I guess, you know, it's nice. And, and occasionally I do end up watching someone's series that I like,

and I ended up watching, I just put it on and, you know, like, like you, like you would do most of our YouTube stuff. It's not, it's not stuff you have to pay attention to.

Right. Is it, it's, it's kind of stuff that sometimes in the background or sometimes I get, I check something out and I'm like, Oh, it's quite good. And then I end up watching the whole thing.

You know, it hooks you in sometimes if it's good um but yeah so i was chatting to ben about it and he was like yeah i listen to the and then he sort of was quite defensive about it he was like oh but i do listen to a lot of podcasts i i you know i've got like i have to put the baby to sleep and then i'm doing the washing up and i sit on the bus for like an hour a day so i get through a lot of. So he was bailing out on the compliment almost as soon as he made it. Yeah. The compliment. I love what you guys do,

but I love lots of things. I mean, I love anything. Me, I love it when it rains. I love it when it's sunny. I love it when I get stabbed in the heart. I love it all.

I'm not sure I really, it was kind of like, I guess it was a backhanded compliment, but it was like, so the thing I like about it is it's just three guys chatting. That's all. You know, you don't really have a plan. You can tell.

You don't really have anything written down or thought up. It's just. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. That's almost the heart of this podcast. It is. I'd say that's the soul of the podcast.

So Ben's fired now, right? Well, this is like a shout out to him right now. So this is to check if he actually is a genuine okay well i will see you in a few weeks then ben but for a minute there i thought to ex-yacht cast employee ben goodbye ben it was nice knowing you but you were a little vague in your praise do you think we should have like a little code for the like hidden in in something or somewhere that that is basically the to be a trick because sometimes you you when someone says i've listened to this or i'm a fan of this or

whatever i like my eyes narrow i guess i'm just always a little bit dubious that anyone listens to or enjoys or watches anything i think if somebody comes up to me okay and point blank just says not even hello or anything just says i got a small dick then i'll know i'll know that they listen to this i'll be like i i know i know what you're saying that's the code that could be the code so that is small ass dick wow that is that is the meeting yeah that's how we greet each other people. So if you suspect someone of being a Yoastcast, Triforce podcast listener, you can test them by saying,

I got a small dick. Yeah. It's like, it's midnight. You're in a 24-7 Tesco's. You're in like the, you're in like the jam aisle. There's nobody else around. It's like really quiet.

You're just buying some jam. You're like, oh, like oh finally you know just like five seconds where nobody's saying anything and then all of a sudden just like here beside you i got a small dick turn around how'd you get there what's going on some dude in a trench coat we're everywhere he flashes you yeah okay so so now i'm gonna get ben telling me that yeah sometime next week when this goes out and And also random people now telling me. And telling you, I guess. I can't believe this was our code word.

Like, do you remember... It's not too late. We can change it. We can change it. Do you remember back in the day on Something Awful, it used to be, do you have stairs in your house? Yeah, yeah. Yes. Go on.

What's the correct response? And then the reply was, I am protected. That's right. I don't know why I'm telling people this it's like a secret now that's now we're never gonna know who goons are now well yeah a you can always spot a goon and b it was like as soon as it had been made as the secret call sign it was a joke in in itself like people who came up to you and said do you have stairs in your house i am am protected. You automatically knew not to speak to that person if they were a goon. It was like the way of outing

the non-funny good goon. So is it the opposite? So if people come up to you and say, I have a small dick. That's the bad try-for-it effect. The good code is you don't say

that shit. just know yeah yeah what if you're a female though what do you say like well they're right yeah i guess but like shouldn't almost indetectable in the dick department ladies you could just say i have a small dick yeah you're right you don't have any dick at all congrats can we have something for the ladies as well that's just their own and not recycled from the men's? I have a huge vagina. I have a gay pig vagina. You think a woman would say that?

Like, I think a guy, like, you know, for a joke could come up and just be like... Dudes talk about their dicks a lot. You're right. Yeah, I know. Honestly. Women never talk about their vaginas. Like, really. They do.

They do. Yeah, with each other. Just not with us. South Park stuff. It's the whole women's comedy thing, isn't it? It's the South Park. Oh, in women's comedy, yeah. But I mean, just like in like, you know, day to day, you know, everyday conversations.

Like I'll speak to a guy and dicks will get mentioned, right? Yeah. But like, I won't speak to a woman and she'll be like, oh oh, man, God, I've got a sore pussy today or something. You know, like it doesn't. PU55. Yeah, it doesn't. It never happens. Like it's the great divide.

You know, men. That's why men are so different to women. That'll be the mark of women's liberation, I think, when they can just walk up. Generally talk about their private parts. Walk into the office and go, oh, my pussy is killing me today. Oh, my tits are just engorged today. No, I don't think men say that about their dick. They don't say, oh, my dick's really chafing today.

Men don't go, oh, my balls are really itchy. It depends where you work. If you work in a nice accounting sort of office or for a lawyer or someone, I mean, the lawyer doesn't walk in and go, my goodness, my penis feels heavy today like that but if you worked in uh if you were stacking shelves in sescas i bet dick talk comes up all the time if you worked in that illegal garage fucking illegal garage jesus christ if you if you legitimately work in porn i guess it comes up a lot

as well because they're probably just very sort of up front it better it better come up or you're fired face with their with their work tools right in that case it's like work tools right so work to be like it'd be the same as like a mechanic saying oh god my number five uh hydro spanners bit rusty today i'll die i don't think i could do it and then like you know yeah you know what that's one of those things right you know the way most people rod when you when you let's say you have a job doing something most people would think would be awesome i mean i'm thinking that eventually it'll just become like work but surely porn is one of the few industries where no matter how much you do it it's still awesome i mean nobody gets bored of having sex especially with different people all the time in all kinds of funky ways i don't know though like if you were the cameraman i think after a while you'd get a bit bored fuck

the cameraman dude who cares you want to be the guy you want to be like yeah that's what i'm saying if you're the guy you want to be right in there yeah doing this would you get bored of it yeah i guess so i mean they say variety is the spice of life and And I think in the case of porn, yeah. I mean, every day, if you were like, you know, if you had like a new. Oh, good Lord. A new. New lady. Yep. A new lady to act with.

Or three or four of them even. To do your acting with. Three or four of them. Just pile them up. Yeah. I mean, that could. Yeah. I mean, that could keep it interesting as well.

I'm a little bored of this. Like, you'd be like, come on. Like, it speaks to some animal part of our brain that just wants to fuck everything. You get to do that for a living. What if you had like a serial sort of porn that was like a bit like a soap opera, but it always had the same actors in it? And you were cast as like the lead guy and you had to have like a lot of sex with the same person? Would you get bored of your job after? No, because sex is always awesome.

All right. But let me tell you something. I was thinking about how movies are going to change in the next 50 to 100 years, right? Yeah. 50 to 100 years? Yeah. Fuck me. Dude, society is very slow to change. Man, we're not even going to have bodies in 100 years.

Of course we are. We're literally going to be like fucking ghosts floating around and manipulating things with our minds did you believe it a hundred years come on when you were a kid did you believe all that shit about how we'd be living on the moon and living on mars progress is never as fast as people think dude and i'm talking about fast this is a pretty big bit of what have we had in our lifetime phones computers and the internet all right where are the flying cars where's the hover this where's the hover that where's the teleportation where are the aliens we got facebook now and like it's slow shit is slow to progress so here's where here's one of the ways i think things

will change we expect actors and actresses to be capable of doing all kinds of shit nowadays you've got to be able to act you've got to be really good looking you've also got to be maybe you've got to do some cool stuff like fucking tom hiddleston can dance and shit right and he's like a cool guy and yeah so the next evolution of that is that they also have to be able to fuck really well on camera so now we'll be watching movies in the future like they'll be having full-on sex like porn stars that's just going to be another part of the movie the appetite for sex and porn is there. And we'll expect our actresses to be able to act and be, like, able to do their own stunts

and be able to fuck. That's what I'm saying. We'll go to see, like, a Mission Impossible reboot in 2063. And whoever the new Tom Cruise is in that reboot is going to be fucking people. It'll be Tom Cruise. And it'll be absolutely hardcore. But is he actually expected to have full

sex or is it dry that's the future dry humping right like you you know that you don't actually see anything because there's sheets in the way or whatever so like most of the time they're probably just wearing like underpants but i'm saying that the next evolution is they will be fucking like people will be like i don't want to see it under the sheets like you know i'm used to seeing porn on my phone whenever i want to see it why can't i watch people fuck and bam you'll be watching yeah future jennifer lawrence will be fucking future tom cruise get hard when i see a tom cruise android fucking cameron diaz android on my phone it's like what's the future that's the future man it's weird though because like you were saying you know's the future. Man, it's weird, though, because like you were saying, you know, in the future, actors are going to be expected to do more.

Like, do you think that actors have it easy now? Because in the past, I think they did have to do more. Actors had to be not only able to act, but they did have to dance and they had to be able to sing as well. You know, like a lot of older. You'd be surprised. A lot of older movies. But in America, a lot of older... But you'd be surprised, a lot of the... A lot of older movies... But in America, a lot of actors can do a whole bunch of shit. Like they can...

Like I remember talking to a friend of mine one time who'd worked in film in the UK and in America. And he said, in the UK, we produce like actors or singers or whatever. But in the States, because it's all this sort of show business thing, you should be able to do pretty much everything. And the stage schools are very much focused around being able to do dancing, singing, acting, and all that kind of show business thing you should be able to do pretty much everything and the stage schools are very much focused around being able to do dancing singing acting and all that kind of stuff so i mean take someone like a doogie howser right what's that guy's name i i only know him as doogie howser well that's because we're old right but he was uh what what a pick

listen this is important lewis this is a vital Did you just call Doogie Howser a pig? Pig! Oh, pig. Not a pig. You've picked, for all the actors who are really talented and can do all sorts of things, you've picked Doogie Howser. Right, and I'll tell you why. Doogie Howser's pretty legit, man. Did you not see the opening that he did for the Emmys or the Grammys or whatever it was? It was like this 15-minute long, all singing, all dancing.

You're talking about Neil Patrick Harris, right? It was this this 15 minute long, all singing, all dancing. You're talking about Neil Patrick Harris, right? It was this big routine. Now, I very much doubt you could find a British actor who could do that. Like the way he could do acting and he could do comedy. He can sing really well. He can dance. Had this big choreography thing. That's show business, right?

Like the American actors and stars, it's all the show business. You know, they could do it all. It's almost like vaudeville is still there they got to be able to do their act so i'm thinking the future is that we're going to expect them to do more and more and more and more sex being one of those things i would not want to see doogie howser having sex but i would like to see doogie howser as a star fleet captain i think he'd make a really good star fleet captain yeah like a teenage star fleet captain he's not a teenager anymore he's like yeah he's like fred savage of the latest few star wars films at star trek films

anyway and then we're calling colkin have you seen him recently yeah like he looks like a bit like steve buscemi and it's kind of weird he does yeah he's definitely got a bit like sunken cheeks hasn't he just yeah it's weird like he was a really cute kid sunken cheeks he lives with that he lives with that idea that he has to be this cute kid and now he's a fucking grown-up i mean that must be a nightmare yeah i know that like think about i think a lot of these cute kids do not grow up into cute yeah because they're kids there's not many adults out there that are actually cute though yeah but it's like you wouldn't say daniel radcliffe was like a heartthrob, would you? No, but he's... Name a lot of child stars that have grown up into heartthrobs.

You know, like Wesley Crusher grew up into Will Wheaton. You know, Harry Potter. Come on, there's loads of them. Ron Weasley. Hollywood is terrible at picking kids who grow up into decent looking normal adults. What about Gary Coleman? Gary Coleman was cute as an adult. Gary Coleman was cute because he was like five feet tall.

But still though. He was basically a big child. He didn't even change. But still. I mean, he was really cute though. He looked like a little kid. I think the thing is the things that make you extra, extra cute when you're a kid don't translate. And also people look completely different when they're adults like their faces get all big and you know

it doesn't make sense if your eyes are super far apart when you're a kid you look like oh but if you've got eyes super far apart when you're growing up these people think wow he looks like a fucking frog get the fuck away from me get away from me you wide-eyed freak oh get off my tv screen dude can't even fuck well well you say that but that like the guy from fucking uh what's it called you know he was in lord of the rings and he was in the matrix as well sean astin the guy that played the agent in the matrix he had eyes that were like far apart from each other he was never cute dude no one looks at him and thinks agent you know agent smith is What a cutie pie. Come on.

Well, what role did he play in Lord of the Rings? He's kind of cute. Elrond. That's right. Elrond was like marginally cute. What's wrong with you? Come on. Hugo Weaving, his name is.

Yeah. He's okay. He's not a weird looking guy. Dude, his fucking eyes are on the side of his head. Like, he's of his head. Like he's like a guinea pig man or something. He's just like, they're on the side. They're like so far apart.

It's crazy. I hope none of these people listen to the podcast. Oh my God. Watch him like turn up. He can't weep. He's there like sitting in tears. It's really quiet. It's the middle of the night and suddenly all you hear is,

I cut a small dick. And it's Kiko Weaving. You see it's Kiko Weaving standing in your room. Tears in his eyes. Holding a knife. I have a small dick. I hurt it all. I can't see your tears.

Can you turn and give me a profile? Oh, no. Oh, fuck me. You are the worst the worst guys um let's move on so i was playing on the stream i was playing x-com the tear from deep the uh so it's the sequel to the original and they just ramped up the difficulty me and ben are playing it on superhuman i was always under the impression that that was a hard game to begin with like weren't a lot of people like wasn't that like the the ball achingly hard game of the series back before they started re-releasing x-com and so we're playing it on superhuman difficulty and iron man so we can't go back and it is an absolute meat grinder. I think for every two aliens we kill, we lose a guy. We've had like 50 guys die and 100 aliens die so far.

And the terror missions are even worse because the terror mission we just ended up finishing. Well, we haven't finished it yet actually because it's two parts. So, you know, you get through like the first part, which you barely scrape through, killing like 15 or 20 aliens. And then you have to do a second part you clear out the engine room room by room it's like you're basically you're basically going through the titanic anyway it's going from like 1995 yeah i can i can see the design when i play when i play the old games i can see how that design has influenced the new x-com because you've been playing that uh pflex and i think that they've taken a lot of stuff which which is fairly repetitive in the original gameCOM because you've been playing that P-Flex and I think that they've taken a lot of stuff which is fairly repetitive

in the original game but it's amazing how they've really taken that kind of influence and the design philosophy to heart when they built the new XCOMs which are amazing games. Well I think the new XCOMs are meant to be, they follow the spirit of the old games

because the older games, because-com as a franchise is a really funny one isn't it like it had the first game was was very popular there was nothing really like it at the time when it came out and then i think it was a tear from the deep did did pretty well but then publishers changed hands and the developers changed hands and the and the actual sort of rights to the game changed hands so much. And they tried to make like a first person shooter that didn't really work. And they tried to make some other genre of game that didn't work. They tried to make, they made XCOM, I think it's called XCOM Apocalypse, which is, which was pretty bad, honestly.

Yeah, yeah. They made one that was like, you had to shoot down the alien ships. It was like a space shooter. It was fucking awful. There was some some some that just came out on console yeah and and it was like that that thing that they did in the 90s you know where the games industry was totally different back then right like you they'd release a game and it would be a surprise success and then nobody would know what the fuck to do with the surprise success yeah yeah so they would just be like well what's popular now well oh everybody's playing platformers now uh let's do an x-com platformer and it and of course it fucking sucks it was like nothing like the original tycoon when you try to make exactly

you make a hit game the next game you make is always a piece of shit i don't know yeah they were just stabbing in the dark sort of thing like And I think when XCOM Enemy Unknown came out, I think, you know, 2K picked it up and they were like, the original games are the best. A lot of the guys that are working on this are huge fans of the original games and played them and stuff. And let's like keep this game the way it was meant to be sort of thing. And then XCOM 2 is just is just you know an iteration of that and you know arguably much better and i mean x-com 2 is like so it's amazing yeah it's like it's like a fucking masterpiece like of a game like it's it's probably one of the best games that's come out in yeah yeah 2016 yeah i think so sure i mean i think it's one of the best games of all time like

i really do i think it's amazing it's a really good game the thing is the thing they got was they don't have any repetitive shit in it that doesn't feel dramatic like it always feels dramatic they always manage to make it feel yeah like you're part of something really big and this is like your movie that you're making as you're going along and i mean i've just i was streaming it like last week i was streaming it for like two weeks i was really into it and i was playing it on iron man and i kept restarting every time we failed i would restart and we got to restart number 20 right that's how many we started yeah yeah dude it was brutal right i wasn't playing on veteran i wasn't playing on on uh like impossible or anything we're getting through it we're doing it we got this great team had a really good start and just snowballed from there we get to the final mission

what we're fighting the final mission. No way. When you have to kill, spoiler alert, you have to kill three of these sort of avatar things. Oh yeah, it's a tough one. It is tough.

Is that the final room as well? So we killed two of them, no problem. We're down to the last one. If I can kill him, we've got a shot, right? We've got a shot at getting out

with just one person. The avatar needs to survive. So even if I only get him out, so i we i've got this amazing psi operative i've got the avatar can do so we're mind controlling shit we're killing everything we we see the avatar you know the way every time you hit me teleports right yeah teleports i hit him he teleports again he's in range i get two shots on him both of them are 50 to 51% shots. Missed both of them. Lost the game on that turn. They killed the avatar somehow. And that was it.

GG. And it was, it was devastating. Like they said, restart. Like I said, oh, you can restart,

but I'm not fucking restarting it. It's Iron Man. Oh yeah. The final mission, you are allowed to restart the final mission. But I didn't. Everyone was like, restart.

I was like, no, this is the story of what happened. They came down to one shot to save the earth. And he missed. That's what it's about. It's about those memorable stories, right? Much more, I think.

I'm glad they've added that setting to games, because some games it's not needed in at all, but some games it's really a cool option sometimes for a certain game mode. I think it spices things up for sure, you never know you know the way x-com goes you could be meticulous you can plan everything to perfection and something can go wrong yeah and you know you might lose your all-star guy or guys on a mission and you're that'll fuck you up big time like x-com's pretty good you can sort of breeze through it past a certain point yeah if you get a couple of guys who are sort of almost maxed out they've all got you know really good

abilities and and synergies and stuff and it's fine but man it like you can you can really sort of get halfway through the game fuck up on a mission or something yeah lose a couple of people and it'll screw you hard we had that we had that quite a few times do you know there are some things i found that i use a lot of mods i use a long war mod and a whole bunch of other mods so there's all kinds of new aliens and new gear and what kind of shit it's great new classes yeah um there's one mod that makes every single soldier will always get the bleed out option all right right so when they're down they'll bleed out you've got four turns to get to them now so you might think that makes it easier, but it does a little bit because you don't just get... Because sometimes I was getting guys who were really high level

just getting one-shotted. They got unlucky, they got critted, they're one-shot, they're dead. But that's like a restart if I lose a guy like that. I can't go without these two guys. That's it. Our squad is now two experienced guys and four rookies, and we're doing a black site mission. It's impossible. So with the bleed out option you can save those guys but getting them out in itself is dramatic because we call down the evac you running under fire picking

him up getting out that's great like i like that so i i think it made it a better story having the bleed out in there and honestly i was sick of restarting i mean restart number 20 it was literally i'd come to one mission and i'd come around a quarter and i'd aggro a pack of vipers they'd bind one of my guys they'd poison the rest the dude panics and as he panics he aggro's a bunch more vipers i'm like okay fuck this game i'm done so having the bleed out option there was handy because it meant we could sort of bail on a situation but it was it's just so great it's just such a great it is a great game yeah i have started to be more angry as a gamer like you in terms of like rage coming out of games sometimes you know just think no i'm done like guys like you haven't heard did

you hit tips holy fuck i lost it you did wow i fucking lost it i was i didn't think that was you for a second and i was like oh my god so fucking frustrating it was it was a culmination though like it was like you know you know when you're playing dota and you have a team and you and your team is doing okay and then all of a sudden you just don't know what your fucking team is doing like they're all over the place they're feeding they're dying they're not they're not doing the shit they're meant to be doing and you have that moment where you're just like fuck this game i just want to like i just want to quit out and never play it again and i i i legitimately had that yesterday with overwatch but i mean i kept playing it's

still pretty fun but you you were so angry so mad oh my god it was just so frustrating from you a few times like that angry like i genuinely angry angry but it's hilarious because you're angry and then for a split second you're you're you're super mad and then you're like what the fuck like why am i getting mad at a video game you just like sort of have to like laugh it off a bit but it oh man it's amazing that it like because when i was a kid i would i'd rage at games all the time know, like especially growing up like in the, you know, the NES era. God almighty, yeah. Those really ball hard games that, you know, are meant to consume quarters and stuff, you know, like you would end up raging out.

Like I broke a couple of controllers. Oh, easily. Throwing them against a wall and stuff like you did. But like, you know, the older you get, you chill out a lot more and you don't really care and stuff like that. But it's amazing, like even at this age now, every once in a while, I will get so fucking annoyed at a game. Like just so angry. And I'm just like, man, I would never get angry at anything else like this. I don't think I ever got angry with games when I was younger.

I genuinely don't think I experienced games in that way i didn't see them as this thing to be to trigger me and make me frustrated like i don't know it's it's new thing to me i think the first time i really experienced that game that was rage inducing was dart souls um playing it with the controller and just you know just i think when the game was unfair yeah i don't think games necessarily at least not for me maybe i'm wrong maybe i'm looking at this completely wrong but i i feel like certain games frustrate you when it feels like bullshit yeah yeah and it's like it's like when when you play a game of hearthstone and he just draws every single thing that he needs in the perfect order every time

and you have to accept that that's going to happen yeah some games but it feels so awful when it does happen someone is just gonna pull out every single answer every time and then you don't get any answers and it's like oh come on you know and there's their flip side to that it feels great when it's happening to you but um, you know, I don't know. It's a recent thing, definitely for me. I used to go around to my friend's house, my friend Simon. And he had a twin brother. And they used to get very, very angry and animated when they played video games.

He will deny this, but it's true. I remember going around there and he had these Super Nintendo controllers. And there were tooth marks all over the controllers. this but it's true i remember going around there and he had these super nintendo controllers and there were tooth marks all over the controllers and i was like yeah well how did this happen because i just get so angry just bite the controller and these controllers it looked like someone had given them to a dog as a chew toy that's how bitten these things were so they were just like just like biting the controller in a fury man that's angry at video games we had a controller we had a super

nintendo controller but it was like it was one of those ones that didn't come with the super nintendo it was like a fancy one like that you bought separately i think my brother got it for his birthday or something they were always totally inferior though yeah yeah but like it was it was a little bit bigger than the normal ones and stuff. And it was okay, right? But it got smashed up. Like the side of it got smashed up where the buttons were. Right. Because I think one of us just chucked it against the ground or something in some sort of rage. And so the side of it was smashed up.

And it was smashed up to the point where some of the buttons didn't work. And you had to push down the controller, like push it back together for the buttons didn't work and you had to like you had to push down the controller like push it back together for the buttons to work so my dad put like this huge screw in the side but like the sharp end was sticking up where the buttons were like just a little bit like even though he like filed it down a bit but it was just a little bit so like if you played with that controller for like longer than an hour your thumb got all sweaty and it would scrape against this like screw and get all fucking mangled uh shit i don't know why we didn't just get a new one but like we just so we just had this fucking kids will make we just had this like frankenstein controller that nobody wanted to use because it would just fuck up your thumb it was so

funny because when you're a kid that you couldn't just get anyone no that's it you didn't have disposable income or like or anything like you had to wait till your parents for it and then they wouldn't like do it they'd be like you've already got one it's like yeah but it's like do you really need it and you're like and then they're like well we can get you a controller or a game and you're like well i just have a new game i think it got smashed up it got smashed up during super metroid and you could do that like sticky wall jump and there were parts of the game where you had to do that thing where you had to leap from wall to wall like up a like like a shaft sort of thing and if you were playing it for a long time your hands were all clammy it was impossible to do because it was just like

your hands are all sweaty and sliding off the buttons and stuff so i guess i just didn't play these types of games no you're just a cerebral and uh and perfect professor of gaming lewis is what it is you're just like a bubble boy playing like sieve and stuff your human emotions are not welcome here in the games room of lewis brindley we've been playing a bit of hearts of iron haven't we and i've been playing a bit of hearts of iron and i think what i like most about hearts of iron is that it's just such a cool multiplayer experience right where you know you can co-op on the same country you know if you want to just play with a friend and like you know take on a little you know france or italy whatever you can play it with a friend you can play it with a friend on a similar country you can play it like with like 20

people or two or or whatever i like i like how that all just works i think the controls and like some of the things in it are super frustrating it can be really fiddly oh that's such a bull like the thing i love about hearts of iron is that it it takes a little while for it to to click in a way yeah you know like because because you sort of you you you approach a game like that and it's a big strategy game and you think i gotta be on top of everything i need to know what's going on i need this that this that and like in a lot of ways you don't and i like even especially in multiplayer i like how there's three of us just playing and like we're all just just doing something, but like, it doesn't necessarily

tie into what the other person is doing all the time or whatever, you know, like we have like these national goals and, you know, obviously like we all want to be, you know, part of a faction or something, but I like how you can just, you can really focus like on a front line somewhere and that can take all of your focus and, and nothing else. And then you then you sort of come out of that and you're like, oh yeah, shit, I need to produce some of this and then I have to do that. And like, you're always just sort of like focusing in little areas sort of thing.

I just love the flow of it. I really enjoyed that game a lot. Someone was suggesting for the Christmas live stream that we do like a big multiplayer game of Hearts of Iron, which I think would be great. That would be great. But as some people, someone suggested- Yeah, if we could get seven people to play all the majors that would be someone suggested 32 players using

viewers but the game gets very laggy and apparently it crashes a lot so i think eight is about the most we could do well they've added this resync thing on the latest patch so basically if anyone desyncs normally you had to reload the save and then you it'll be a real fiddle but now you can just press resync and it dynamically loads the game in in game it just reload the save and then you it'll be a real fiddle but now you can just press resync and it dynamically loads the game in in game it just saves the save to everyone i think the issue is it does that constantly like the more plays you have i think any game any game like sieve running 32 players it's not gonna it's too much too much good option but you know there's still options there i think i think one of the things that's interesting is that, you know, that Hearts of Iron don't have to balance countries necessarily.

They don't have to say, okay, Germany has to be the same strength as Italy, or has to be the same strength as this, or same strength as that. You know, they're all different. They have different sizes, different strengths. You know, certain people have to team up or work together to take down a big guy. Whereas Civ is much more, Civ is much a different game in a sense. You can't just go into a game of civ as easily as you go into a game of hearts of iron it's a lot more of um i think one

of the things that's interesting is we'll have to see this when it comes out and it's coming out i guess the day after this podcast goes live so you know there's probably gonna be a lot of hype for it the 21st oh yeah, the Stellaris patch. Yeah. No, no, no. Civ, the Civ 6. Oh shit, oh yeah, yeah. When is Civ 6 out? 20th of October. 21st.

Is it 21st? Oh wow. 21st or is it 20th? It's either one of those two. Anyway, I think that one of the interesting things is they've said they've tried to sort of get rid of the boring mid game. And it feels like it does.

Yeah, 21st. Very quickly towards the end of the game which i'm a little bit siv's a bit different though because siv siv you really want to sort of conquer the world right like you you no matter where you start from you it's not like you're not going to just play a part in it you you want to get to a point where you win and you dominate sort of thing but like it's different to hearts of iron where you you could have a playthrough of a game of hearts of iron where you could just take like a small little country and you can influence the war but you might not be you might not be the dominant superpower by the end of it or anywhere close you might have just enough like

in your little country to to sway things it might just be that you know what i mean you are blocking the way like the netherlands of belgium blocking the way into France, you know. I love that. I love how each time you play it, it can be different. You know, you could just do something different or, you know, attempt to do something different, you know, like everybody else might be just following the historical path and there you are trying to like turn America into fascists or something. And then if you pull it off and you help, you can can you could totally change the way that that game plays out sort of thing whereas like civs a different type of strategy game isn't it it's like you don't really get stuff like that in civ you just you're trying to win you're trying to like meet some sort of objective there's

different ways to win but it always involves you sort of amassing power and influence and becoming like a big player sort of thing. The best part of it is definitely that open a brand new, find a brand new world, settle the city, expand out till you've sort of got your borders touching, expand it to every way you can. And that's kind of that first hundred turns is what it's all about for me. Like the rest of the game is kind of, it changes. The whole game changes. It changes from, as the game goes on, to a very different, it's got these phases where it transforms into a slightly different game. Heart Survival.

No, Civ. And so some of the, Heart Survival is pretty much the same the whole way through, but Civ isn't. I love a game that was, like, city-focused, city focused that had some sort of like arcing strategy to it you know like it was multiplayer you had cities and you had to build them up in certain ways to accommodate certain things and there were factions and stuff like i don't know like how it would totally totally competitive city skylines or something like you have a large area yeah something like that where you know like and you could accept trade into your cities and out and you could screw over other people yeah yeah and

you're competing to to have like maybe you go tourism so you build like a tourist-based city yeah and you're trying to out tourist the other the other cities and that would be interesting actually like it'd be pretty fun yeah and you could like totally sabotage their cities and shit that'd be funny yeah it'd be pretty neat. Like SimCity, the last SimCity that came out, the way that multiplayer worked in that game where you had the region and you invited people and they all made their own cities. And there's so many problems with that game anyway,

but it was interesting that you could send workers to other cities, you could trade with other cities. Not that it ever really worked, but the ideas were sort of there you know like it would be cool if there was a game that was a bit more sort of like um there was like some sort of strategy to it where you know you just you built up a city and you had to be very careful like what you built and what you tried to do and there was like you know factions that you could sort of be part of or whatever. It'd be pretty neat, actually. It's bizarre, really, isn't it?

Like, what makes a good multiplayer game? I think it, I guess the old, the classic multiplayer games these days are, you know, like Overwatch or Dota or League of Legends or Hearthstone, where you're queued up, you're shoved into an arena for an X amount of time against other people. And very rarely do you talk with those people

uh or communicate with those people in any meaningful way or even do you have a chance because it's so the the sort of it's such an in-out thing you're shoved in with these random people you know you get you you might say five sentences to them in the whole thing and that will be like you know go over here do this whatever yeah but even then like i don't these like a lot of these games are like are very sort of typical in in in like a gamer mentality sense though right like dota is probably the same legal legends was definitely the same uh overwatch is the same you get into a party with people that you don't know and immediately two or three people pick big damage dealing heroes, right?

That their only job is to get out there and deal a lot of damage and kill people, right? And then once the game starts and five minutes into it, you slowly start to realize that these people that have picked these heroes aren't doing that job. Like they're terrible with them. And then the whole thing falls apart from there. You're just like, oh, geez, why? they're terrible with them. And then the whole thing falls apart from there. You're just like,

oh, geez, why? Why join a game and just pick this hero that is meant to have such a huge sort of sway on the game and not be able to even remotely use them effectively. It just, it's crazy. I think that might just be a problem that gets solved by placement though.

I mean, when I play Dota, I very rarely have that problem. You know, well, I think that I always think I'm the weakest person on the team when I'm playing Dota I very rarely have that problem when you know well I think that I always think I'm the weakest person on the team when I'm playing yeah um and therefore I I never feel frustrated with my team being bad I think you might just be be too low in the placement games if that's the

case but that's not really what I'm talking about I'm talking about the fact that relationships you you don't you're never gonna ever exchange contact details with or or follow up on a person that you've met in a fucking overwatch game right well you would i think it i think it's different probably i i think honestly you would and and i think the reason why you're saying that you wouldn't is because you're known on the internet so you're you're probably always thinking like oh this person already knows who i am and they want to just be on my friends list or whatever and and that's not on that basis you're probably like oh i don't need to make friends on the internet but like if you if you weren't if you didn't have a big youtube channel and stuff like that you probably would accept friend requests from time to time from people you enjoyed playing with like i play a lot of games undercover you know on another user most of my gaming is on other other usernames right and

i do chat to people on on like random team speaks and random fucking discord channels and stuff and i think that in those certain types of game are much more geared towards actually making friends on the internet if that if that's what but that's how this whole thing arose in the first place right because of world of warcraft and yeah and yell goon squad what do you go by the name uh xxx pussy destroyer 420 xxx is that one of your how do you know i can tell goku my secret's out i'm gonna have to change it now my name's actually uh i have a small dick oh that's it it's a

triforce podcast reference oh i see yeah yeah yeah and occasionally people come up to me and they're like hey i have a small dick too and then i know that they have the triforce they've listened to the

triforce hey hey uh so uh hopefully i get this right hopefully I get this right. Hopefully I get this right. I got a clown dick. No. No. Oh, shit. I screwed it up.

I messed up. No, it's not that. I got a huge pussy. I got a huge vagina. I got a hilarious clown penis. You know what I watched the other day? This was a thing on the news about how dangerous watch batteries are for for kids you know those little flat circular batteries you put in watches and like and uh remote controls and stuff they're like it's like looks like a coin right yeah so what

happens is you the kids swallow those because kids are idiots and it gets stuck in their throat and when it's wet it just activates like it just starts to produce electricity and like chemicals boil out of it right and it can burn a hole in the kid's esophagus and that's them like they can't talk or they can't swallow anymore or stuff like that there was this little girl walking around she had like a bag on her neck to catch her spit because she can no longer swallow spit and stuff like that and i'm i'm watching this and i'm thinking i had no holy shit this podcast is supposed to be fun dude fuck me i want to put the word out there that these things are dangerous and kids are stupid keep away from your kids i made my kids watch that i made them watch that news report it was on and i said kids watch this dumb shit

and they were shaken and i I was like, yeah. Well, I'm shaken right now. Man. That's terrifying. Yeah, it's horrible. A spitbag. I've never known anything like it. No, it was grim.

But anyhow, I just want you to be aware, parents and children listening to this podcast. Do you think like back in the old Wild West, like if a kid accidentally swallowed a battery and because they didn't have plastic bags back then they just have to walk around with like a spittoon sort of like strapped to their front a little mini spittoon on their neck just like catching this we're bad people i'm bad i'm a bad man man i don't know about you flax but like like since having kids like i never really watch the news anymore i watch it all the time i barely ever read the paper anymore i guess so yeah i just feel like i'm super duper

like out of touch with politics and stuff now like i just don't it's nice i don't give a fuck either we found that with my dad if we just removed the newspapers like because he used to he used to get the newspapers delivered and we stopped having it delivered. He cheered up so much, not reading the news, not seeing the news, because it was just miserable.

It's pretty bad, yeah. it doesn't help you live your life to know all of the, you know, it's so sensationalistic. That's terrible, man. That's how people get away with shit, if you stop watching.

Yeah. No, it doesn't matter. Like, who cares? What are you fucking talking about? Some of it, some of it, it doesn't matter. What could you do about it, PFLAX? Fuck all. I can protest, Lewis, in the strongest possible terms. Good work stopping Brexit, PFLAX. Man, send me pictures when you go for a protest.

Well, it wasn't my fault, Lewis! I didn't fuck- well, I didn't realise I was tasked with preventing Brexit. Like, soul- my soul's purpose for this life on this planet was- well done, Perry, and you fucked up Brexit, didn't you? Certainly talked about it enough and like went on about it enough. Jeez. It's like my dad though, you know, it's like, look, you're 70 years old. What are you going to do? Dude, I thought your dad was 80.

Well, this was when he was 70. You get 10 years younger every time I talk to you. My dad's 60 years old. My dad, he's 80 now, but yeah, this was when he was 70 so right so even then we were like you know fuck even if it was 60 we're like we should have we should have started sooner when when you when you're when you're like 70 years old right you should just be care reckless and careless like like a kid kids don't need to know about what do you mean you should be all the the the war and stuff 70 year olds don't want to be reckless

kids don't need to know about spit bags oh p flex they do if you if you try to live your life shutting yourself off from all the scary shit out there and pretending everything's all right you may as well be a goldfish or a fucking you know listen i'm not doing this on purpose it's just a natural state that i've arrived in and i think it's just from having like a lot to do and stuff. I just don't, I don't prioritize that shit. Like I don't, I don't really make an effort to watch the news or read a paper now. I just think whatever. I disagree.

Like what are the things, what are the elements of sort of. Is this going to be about Zen? Yeah. Oh you motherfucker. It really says that you shouldn already in your life expose yourself to things that you know are bad or kind of negative or it doesn't help you to this is this is not really a zen thing either but a classic thing that you see when you take these scientific studies is that people who are identify themselves as being smart or educated or knowledgeable are often a lot less happy and a lot more stressed and die younger and with not such a happy life as people who are simple and have simple lives.

And when you look at countries in the world, the unhappiest countries, the most miserable countries are the people who have everything. It's the UK has got to be the top of that one no we're just never happy i think there's a difference fucking miserable country i don't think the uk as well is on is on the worst but it's definitely up there and it's it's to do with people really kind of getting frustrated with things they can't change, you know. Right. Like Brexit. Yeah. It's just not worth it. Like, don't do it. I can see why we're bombarded with stuff, in our society, with social media and Twitter and Facebook and Reddit and everything, just bombarded with it all the fucking time. But I mean, you can choose who you follow on those things. Like, I don't feel bombarded by anything other than

tons of memes on twitter for example i guess what i'm just trying to say is that you shouldn't surround yourself with negativity or or try to avoid it where you can and it's it'll help you i think what i think what p flag says stands though i think if you don't if you never know what's going on or ever have any sort of make any effort to find out what's happening in the world or, or whatever as well, then, you know, that's not good either.

Well, how does it help? Like it doesn't, it doesn't fucking do anything. It just makes you, makes you rot in your own, If you just want to live a life where all you do is, is hear about the good stuff.

And it's just like, I don't want to hear about the bad news no don't tell me don't tell me then you're deceiving yourself if you enjoy if you get a kick out of it if you'd like to to to doomsday it up and think oh you know it's all blah blah everything's going to shit whatever like i don't i'm not saying doomsday i'm saying like you know the guy on the news where a snake came out of his toilet i think that's good stuff to know i think you know so then you know to check your toilet a couple times a day make sure there's no snakes coming out i've just realized snakes are dangerous

you know what sips do you remember when lewis mocked you for your response to a crisis being blacking out lewis is advocating blacking out a hundred percent of the time to avoid having to hear about i'm just that's what i'm saying it's the same fucking thing sounds yeah if you me yeah out there me listen want to perhaps achieve happiness yeah secretly don't get involved in any of the shit and let everyone else deal with it. But don't listen to it. Don't listen to you. Just, just fucking let all those assholes tell you whatever they want.

Right. And do whatever they want. Like, you know, you at the end of the day are never going to have an impact on changing it. Right. If you talk to your family, if you say to your son and your wife and

your your other son and you tell them over the dinner table you rant and you rave and you moan and you complain about how terrible the state of the country is and oh what we're going to do about trident or we're going to oh you know what if we well get your fish fingers but we're also going to figure out trident right what what are you going to what's your suggestion oh yeah that's a great suggestion so i'll write a letter to letter to David Cameron and we'll send it off tomorrow and that will get transorted. Welcome, family. Great job. That's not the fucking attitude, is it?

You know what? How is that positive for anyone in that family? You are basically Russell Brand. Do you realise that? Don't bother voting, kids. It's a waste of time. We can't change anything anyway. That's how the fucking arseholes get in power in the first place, Lewis. But it's a road to nowhere.

No, it's not. Two things to change the subject again, mercifully. Number one, fucking, dude, Civ VI is 50 quid. I know. Games are really expensive now. 50 quid. Holy God. Mafia III was as well. That's 50 as well that's fucking crazy i know uh and

number two um part cinco oh shit it's up to you it's up to you guys we don't have to i think we have to have it now because this podcast has been so desperately depressing well this is this is a very different part from the other part i think this is going to be very heavily cut down by the way oh that's a shame that's a shame yeah i think a lot of it's gonna have to go because it was just partly because we had a few bits of discord where um one of us couldn't hear the other one and so as a result we only heard half of a rant and then didn't reply to it properly. It was like a really poorly organized debate where no one was listening to each other. No one listens to each other anyway on this podcast.

There's a thing people say. It's like most people only wait until other people stop speaking so they can speak or something. There's a more succinct way to say that, I'm sure. But I think that's very, very true on this podcast anyway. anyway do your bodega let's let's fucking get in there let's enjoy it i don't feel like you're in the right frame of mind for bodega i am said ben said about bodega he said thing i like about bodega is that it's taking the piss out of all the shit science fiction exactly then it's become its own thing yeah it's grown beyond it to the point where it's it's a little bit like pandas in world of warcraft okay it started off i knew world of

warcraft would fucking come up at some point jesus started off being the joke but now it's and there's going to be like a bodega book and it's going to become a real thing well here's one thing i am going to do someone suggested this on, that I do a video where I read out the fan bodega that people have made. Like they said, you should do a Triforce where you do that. But the thing is, they're quite long and there's a lot of them. And it would just be me talking for an hour. They're all pages and pages long. If you're going to do a fan bodega, please make it so that it would take five or seven minutes to read.

I think that that's reasonable yeah they're mostly about one to two pages some of the longer ones i just won't do but there are definitely some brief ones some of them are terrible some of them are actually pretty good but i'm gonna read them all and uh i don't know if i should critique them but uh i might just i might give them marks out of ten i don't know but anyway bodega part cinco this is very different from other bodegas this one okay okay i mean in a bad way you'll see all right scratching the itchy collar of his dull gray uniform ensign crunkett waited impatiently outside commander tortola's quarters he made an appointment to

see tortola three days ago how the scriv can the boss man be so busy they've been sat in this asteroid belt on silent running for three months with no orders that he knew of. What a waste of time. Three months jammed into every crevice of this fast patrol ship, except for the areas that were mysteriously off-limits. That meant no trips to engineering to hang out with his buddy Looper. Definitely no trip to the cargo hold, which was normally a good vape spot. Three months manning his listening post and hearing nothing. It was space. It was generally pretty flarving quiet.

Startling Crunket, the intercom to Tortola's room barked, Enter! And the door hissed open. Crunket stooped to enter the commander's quarters. They were cramped, yet the designers had still found room to cram a desk in here, along with a bed, a bathroom and a lounge, all in dull official grey. That was the colour of most things around here, official grey. Tortola was sat in his grey uniform and his grey chair behind the grey desk, staring at his computer screen. He made a condescending hand gesture to Crunkit to begin

talking. Crunkit cleared his throat. Sir, it's been three months. I was due some R&R two weeks ago, but because we're stuck here, I missed the birth of my daughter, and I'm thinking Tortola cut him off with a glance. He read from the screen. Cronkin, Ensign Cronkin, two years service on the force, and here you are marching into my quarters

to demand leave. We're on a mission. You don't need to know what that mission is, Ensign, but by groggle, we're on it. You signed over your right to a holiday when you took the oath and put on a badge, saidola a rehearsed dressing down was on its way crunk it guessed tortola stood up sharply in an attempt to look authoritative but banged his head on the low ceiling pretending this hadn't happened he continued lecturing crunk it about duty and

the importance of the morality police division out here in the void of space how beings could lose their sense of direction and decency i needed to know that out here in the blackness there was still an organisation dedicated to rooting out wrong and bringing justice to the unjust. Just because space is cold and uncaring doesn't mean we have to be. Sir, I've worked law enforcement before, I've done stakeouts before. This feels like a stakeout but we're staking out an asteroid belt and the arse end of nowhere. Nobody comes here, because these rocks are empty. There are no habitable planets. There is no traffic. There's nothing. If I'd known this was going to be the mission, I never would have signed up for it, pleaded Kronkett. I thought we were going to be back

in time for my wife's due date. This is the SS expectation, Ensign, said Tortola, gesturing around him. We're not your usual police cruiser there's a reason we didn't tell any of you what your mission was you're getting paid time and a half so you're being compensated appropriately i'm not going to ask you to trust me because this is not about trust this is about duty do your job get out of my office said tortola coldly crunk it left he wasn't angry the worker man always got screwed over like this he was resigned to it he just wanted to make sure his daughter had better crunk it was in the middle of wondering. He was resigned to it. He just wanted to make sure his daughter had better. Kronkite was in the middle of wondering what he was going to do

when the red lighting pulsing in the floor and at every comm station told him that the silent alarm had been tripped. He ran to his post, jostling with other members of the crew doing the same. Part of him was nervous. Another part thought, thank Flav, something to do. Tortola was on the bridge in a heartbeat after everyone else. He addressed the crew. Okay, people, it's time to come clean. We've just detected the vessel we were sent to find. We're just one of hundreds of ships just like ours undertaking the same mission all over the galaxy.

For three months, we've been laying in wait like Tridorian trap crabs. And now, finally, we've detected the ship. It's docking at a hidden base on an asteroid in the Borkaba belt, just a few hundred thousand clicks ahead of us. It is vital that we maintain silent running. Ainsen Krunkit, go to work. Krunkit slid into his seat and rummaged for his headset. The chatter on the bridge was reaching fever pitch. Everybody was thinking the same thing. Holy shit, something's actually happening. Something's happening. But what? The listening post was incredibly high-tech. He used an almost undetectable array of ultra-fine beams of varying compositions to scan a huge area

of space and detect micro-distortions caused by sound waves. In space, of course, there was no sound. But the beam array carried enough different types and layers that even the most well-shielded surface could be probed and you could listen in to anything pressurised, even a space helmet. And once something was detected, the array could narrow down to that point and listen into anything. The sound of weapons being charged, an ultra-quiet engine, even a conversation. Or what Kronk had heard, a man whistling a jaunty tune. He recognized the tune. It was Ode to the Lazgun, a famous war song from Shrovia, the planet of war. Shrovians? Out here in deep space?

They normally stuck to their factories and boardrooms, coming up with new and terrible weaponry. Then he heard talking, someone recording a personal log, and when he heard the voice, his blood froze in his veins and he felt tears welling in his eyes. This was the dread fear that consumed all hope in a man. Sir, he mumbled, Kronkin, Speak, man! Sir, I think it's... Bodega! Tortola stood slowly, stealing himself. And since then, send a whisper, said

Tortola, and the tiny scout vessel of the MPD fired a single subspaced particle from its comms array. That single particle would be lost in the background noise of the universe to anyone listening. Impossible to decrypt. Impossible to detect. Bodega could not know that the mpd vessel expectation just sent a one-bit signal that mpdhq would instantly know

meant one thing operation kill bodega was on oh amazing so okay a couple of things. First of all, I like how it's good shit sci-fi because it's the same shit we're familiar with, yet massively far in the future. It's like you've got an Ensign and a grumpy guy in a military boardroom and all that shit and vaping in like a... Do you know what I mean? It's like Ensign Kronke is totally the mary sue of period flax you know

you are you are if you put yourself into this universe you would be i wouldn't be ensign crunkett you're totally ensign crunkett there's so much mary suing going on i'm bodega come on no you're not you're like the hard hard dumb boy like guy who's like pretty low rank he's like a bit sick of it he's had some misstories i wouldn't even be in the police man i wouldn't sign up with the popo and i like this because by the time something gets to like part five right it's it's got a bit bad right and they've started doing things like introducing new characters no because everyone says i just wanna i just wanna have a bodega adventure but the author's like oh i'm a bit sick of writing bodega adventures you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna add some new characters no because everyone says i just wanna i just wanna have a bodega adventure but the author's like oh i'm a bit sick of writing bodega adventures you know what i'm gonna do i'm

gonna add some new characters so he adds ensign crunk and he has this new guy and everyone's like oh well it's not it's not the bodega i remember but at least it's not a bodega wasn't even in this episode really yeah and that's that's what it has what starts happening when they start getting to like these you know later stage sequels and stuff as a counterpoint flax i thought it was fucking great no i loved it i loved all of it i'm building up a long game i'm just doing a critical kind of summary of what i just shit on bodega i wasn't shitting on it i thought it was good i'm just saying these are my thoughts from it it's all right they weren't even criticisms they weren't even things to change normally when you do it write some youtube comments yeah go write some youtube comments

about it lewis yeah i'll tweet under one of your many pseudonyms xxx destroyer 420 xxx one of your undercover handles on the internet so yeah wow that was great I enjoyed it I can't wait to hear the conclusion the gripping conclusion well there might not be one this is like turning into like a soap opera and I'm loving every minute of it I hope it never ends

I just kind of realised that none of the episodes have anything to do with like there's occasional callbacks but there's not there's no consistency it's always just a fresh two-page bodega does some shit no but you know what that's like in in a lot of like a lot of series a lot of like pilot seasons and stuff like that that happens you know and then when the when the show gets renewed for a second season that's when they start to add in like a story arc true stuff you know all the individual

parts no well this is this is still season one still season one okay no no no i think this is season two now because i think what's happened is season one's ended right and it's been it's been had a real critical success no when did when did season one end though like at what point because like you have to end on like a high and a cliffhanger i don't think you do not with like crappy sci-fi like bodega you know it's it's kind of it's kind of it's just what happens you know people suddenly have like and saying oh my god i really really enjoyed bodega when's he coming back and you're like you know what i'm gonna make a whole new series of bodega novels and they're gonna have clis have cliffhangers at the end it's all gonna tie together in a wonderful arc and you have all these plans you know before bodega just had individual episodic adventures but now we're gonna keep a story arc running

through the whole series yeah we've got a team of writers whole team of writers here i i've got a warehouse i might have been the same warehouse you got in china sips i get them to knock out the bodega stuff for me oh sweet yeah that's a good idea yeah yeah there's a guy who just comes up with quick crazy words and names that's what i love about this this universe it's that literally it's the same universe except everyone has slightly science-y sounding names it's the same thing with fantasy novels right like just go to a fact you pick up a fantasy novel and the first thing you are introduced to is like three people with really cryptic fantasy style names i like it when they like they take a normal name and they just change it like for instance take han han solo dan solo right luke

luke has a normal name luke skywalker right but but you think about a lot of the characters they have is like uh poe dameron right it's just could they have, it's like Poe Dameron, right? Garth could have been Garth. Exactly. Like Poe could have been maybe Toe. That's a name, I'm sure. Toe Dameron and Dan Solo. It wouldn't work if they had those names, right?

Garth Vader. Instead of Frodo, it's Freddo, right? Instead of, you know, Sam had a normal name, uh gandalf could just be called ralph the wizard but instead you have to add the fantasy names because it makes it seem that would have made him better actually ralph yeah it's me ralph the wizard what's cracking how's it going lads but you've got it you gotta have those funky names because it sounds more distant and far in the city of itandale the young barbarian mirror jasmine shifting surface

taran blade. The unruly. My boss. I don't know. You've got to have the funky names. It makes it seem like it's a cheap way of creating a universe. Instead of just calling it ale, you call it something like Fl flab jogger ale and people think oh exotic but i could

make flab jogger ale right now i just brew some ale and call it flab jogger boom but you think it's something fancy oh i see that's true actually it's true speaking of fancy ales um one last thing before we we depart uh blizzcon in a of weeks, they're celebrating the 20th anniversary or is it the 25th anniversary? No, it's the 20th anniversary of Diablo. Wow. Okay. That's crazy. It's nuts, eh?

So they're going to have this thing outside the convention center. There's basically this big sort of pedestrian walkway thing with a big fountain outside the convention center. Right. And it's nestled in between the Hilton and the Marriott, right? So it's like the big outdoor area. Like you've been there before, Lewis, you probably know, right? Yeah. So out there after the first day of BlizzCon at like eight o'clock at night or whatever,

they're going to have like a party to celebrate. And they did the same thing with Warcraft when it was World of Warcraft's 10th anniversary or whatever and they serve drinks there um they serve they they get like a local brewery to to to brew up some beer and stuff uh but then they they theme it around like and in this case it'll be diablo so and they did like thunder brew ale for for warcraft when they did the warcraft one so it was like bottles of beer with like just a different label or whatever and man people were losing their shit over it like people were like ordering it and like don't open it i want to take it home it's a

collector's thing and and stuff like they were going crazy and like just because it had a late just a different label like it was just probably the same beer that they always brew for like whatever and then because they slap on thunder ale or Ale or whatever, it's like a big deal. I get it in some ways, but in other ways, it just makes me laugh. You know, when I was at TI5 or TI6, sorry, there were these guys that I've seen them at a Dota events before. They brew like beers and ales and stuff like that. And they do the exact same thing. They call it like Murana's Arrow or they call it like liches yeah you know everybody wants it like it right like but not to

drink it right right i mean it's okay it's nice ale but yeah it's got like a dotary kind of bottle so yeah these guys come up to us so it's like me and shane and a couple of the other presenters and stuff were standing around chatting and these guys come over and i was like oh hey what's up and this he starts telling us about the i was like how's it going with the the whole ale thing are you are you able to get it like you, you know, at the event and stuff? And he said, well, yeah, I've been emailing Valve about it. And he was, like, complaining about how we never get his back from them. And it's just, like, a real hassle and how he doesn't understand them and they're idiots, blah, blah, blah.

He was kind of polite, but he was also kind of obviously frustrated. Now, one of the people standing with us was, a very very senior valve guy and he was like right there he was just shooting the shit with us in between bits and uh this guy comes up and he just happens to be standing right next to him when he's running down valves pr and how they never get back to him stuff like that and the and so this the valve guy starts like engaging the conversation without sort of revealing who he is and everything sort of saying well i'm sure they have their reasons I wouldn't worry about and everything. And the guy's like, well, yeah, but I just wish you'd get back to me. He's like, well, look, I work for Valve. And the guy's face just crashed. He was just like, oh my God. It was humiliating

for the guy. But luckily, the Valve guy was really nice about everything, explained the situation. But it was just one of those things where we think of all the times and all the people to have that conversation in front of it was it was brutal man i've done that a couple of times it happens it does happen but it fucking sucks so bad when it happens i could i could just see the guy wanting to dig a hole and uh cover himself in ale and disappear yeah yeah you you sort of have a moment after something like that happens where you just have like a word with yourself and you're like fucking you rein yourself in don't fucking shoot your mouth off like that jays you're almost like you turn into like your parents inside your mind telling you you're you yourself off for like doing something dumb like that you know when we

were talking about people getting angry at video games getting angry at video games because of something your team's done that can be rage inducing but if it's something i've done that's stupid i can't get like angry with myself i just feel crushing disappointment and i just feel like it's the worst oh my god i'm so fucking useless like your self-worth at that moment just oh no it's the worst it's the worst feeling and then you're like you're trying desperately to find things to just like get your mind off it and cheer you up but like deep down you're just like so full of self-loathing you're just that's exactly how i feel after recording this podcast it's so disappointing i'm sorry guys i'm sorry how bad it is this week

yeah this is no no this has not been a highlight week for sure. That was a terrible podcast. Thank you for sticking it out till the end. And thank you for listening to this heavily edited podcast. It's only going to be 10 minutes long. Yeah, that's the dream. All right. We've recorded for an hour and 40.

So, yeah, let's see how much actually makes it into the final cut. I reckon we could get 50 minutes out of this. I reckon we can. It's got to be at least 20 minutes. Come on. It'll be fine. It'll be all right. All right.

Well, thank you everybody. And we'll see you next week. Hopefully for more of this. Great band. We'll be back. Top shelf. Top bass.

Bye.