Triforce! - Triforce! #248: 3 Truths, 1 Lie (Also true)

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Triforce! Episode 248! Flax has many stories to tell this week but which is true and which is false? Also, Sips is getting continued flack in the War of Wisconsin! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Yeah. I've had an interesting, slightly, yeah, three things I'd say. Holy shit. Maybe four actually. If I may, I'll be quick. I thought I was going to have the most interesting week, but go ahead. I'm intrigued. Hang on. I'm not saying it's interesting.

It just, it is what it is. All right. So I'll give you four things, but the first one is, I don't know if I don't give a shit if everybody knows this, but I'm having a vasectomy next week. Oh,

nice. I'm done with babies. That's it. I don't want any more babies. It's one of these things, a lie, or are they all going to be truths? No,

these are all true. Okay. Do you want to slip a lie in, and then we to be truths? No, these are all true. Okay. Do you want to slip a lie in and then we can guess? I could do that. Yeah, sure. I'll think of one. Are you just going to freeze some of your juice just in case or no? No.

You're done. I'm done. All right. That's it. For sex. I don't blame you, man. Honestly, I think I was done at two. Three, God bless them all.

I love them. But three is too much. And anything above that, my hat goes off to you. I don't know how the fuck you have done it. I know people with like four or five kids. Same. It becomes your whole life. That's it.

I mean, if you're going to dedicate yourself to something, I think looking after your children is very rewarding. And I would certainly look forward to it later in life if all my kids came back and they all had their own families because obviously a big family i love that idea um i like the idea of a big family too yeah yeah like i love i love that idea of everyone coming for christmas there's like 30 people like i know that probably sounds horrible to some no no do you know do you know that the thing i like about that the most though is that the very stereotypical like i just want to sit in a chair and fall asleep while everything happens around me.

Yeah, yeah. But I like that. It's just reassuring. It is reassuring. Yeah, I'd like to. I just like I want to see all my kids thrive, be happy and come back to my house so I can fall asleep on a chair and they can be like, oh, dad fell asleep again. But like that would be perfect. You know?

Yeah. I'm cool with that. Well, I was thinking, you know, I mean, if we'd had the money and the space and all the rest of it, maybe we would have had more kids than just carried on. If we were rich or whatever,

I definitely would have had more. But I'm thinking, I'm 47 next month. Mrs. F is 47 this year. We ain't having any more kids. And let's handle this situation now. So I'm having the vasectomy next week. So I will be a little delicate for a while. But it's not too bad.

This is some kind of keyhole surgery shit. The guy's really good. But we had this pre-op meeting, which is like a Zoom call. And I thought it was just going to be a few of us. There were 50 dudes in this zoom call plus the doctor well yeah because they got a it's it's one of those ones where i think because it's not like a huge um life-threatening thing they get all the uh all the uh trainees and stuff in right like it gives them some um no dude oh what these are actual consultants yeah oh these are customers

these are customers oh right so they just did a batch of you at the same time. Yeah, yeah. At the same time. I'm going private because the NHS for elective procedures, you have to wait a very long time. Right, right. And it's 400 quid. It's like 400 quid all in. Job done.

Right. And I was like, I'll do that. Like, peace of mind and all the rest of it. There's 50 dudes waiting for their vasectomies in this week this this doctor does 25 at the same time no he does 25 a day so he's boshing through pre pre-day meetings like every evening he's a bam bam bam meeting so he does 25 a day and they're 400 quid each holy crap i'm doing the wrong job absolutely i'm imagining it like one of those gang bangs i feel like the thing is like in a line does he really need to know like all the other stuff because it sounds like you could just really hyper focus on this one procedure

and just become a king what he does he does for sex so okay but how much how much medical school what do you have had to do is what i'm trying to get at. Like, do you need to do like 10 years or whatever? Or can you just do like a quick, you know, fucking six months, learn this one thing, learn how to do it really well. And then 400 quid a pop, 25 a day. Like, holy shit, man. That's crazy. I guess the thing is, if something, first of all, I don't think anybody goes into doctoring thinking, I will be a vasectomy doctor. You know what I mean?

Hey, if it's 400 pounds a go and you could do 25 in a day, I would definitely be thinking about becoming just a focused vasectomy doctor. Sure. There's a lot of people out there. There's a lot of juice to stop, you know? I guess it's like if something goes wrong, if you're a doctor who only knows how to to cut balls um what are you gonna do you're gonna be like well i'm out of ideas i know how to cut into a dude's scrum and i know how to cut his balls but i don't know anything else no so they have to you don't need to know anything else you're fucking rich as hell at this point who cares you've also you've still got a medical degree i think there's something to

be said for for specializing in one particular thing, right? Like, you've got, like, dermatologists. Yeah, I'm a big fan of that. I'd rather be operated on by someone who knew what they were doing. Yeah, yeah. Than someone who's done it a hundred times. The guy who shoved a probe into my ass and a camera down my dick, his whole thing was, like, very specifically men's urinary tracts. Like that's all he does.

So it was great because he just knew what he was talking about. He's very quick with everything as well. In fact, so much so that I thought maybe just a little bit more bedside manner, you know, just like how you doing sort of thing. I think that's how you get progress as like get the fuck out of here progress as well progress in those fields because these guys are such experts yeah like he he's going to vasectomy fucking conferences well yeah i suppose he would you know vasecticon 2022 or whatever that sounds like a that sounds like a good uh map idea for hitman i've been playing a lot of hitman recently and like you know like some of the i don't know if you guys have played it but to me medical conference that doesn't have to be a lot of

ways to kill people these are always big busy events and stuff right so a vasectomy conference could be a good one could be yeah that's a great idea for the next sector but they're always working on some new fucking thing like some doctor will say you know what i've been thinking and he'll give some keynote speech and they'll all be like oh that does sound pretty good and because they all have slightly different techniques and you know all the experience they've picked up if you're doing 25 vasectomies a day you're gonna see some shit yeah we're gonna see some balls at least and the idea is you're gonna you're gonna come up with with new techniques and new uh what are what what are any um potential like side effects or what like what can what can go

wrong like is there are there cases where somebody just like their balls are like uh tangled or something and they can make a mistake or like no i i don't think it's that because it's really very simple in there it's it's not like uber it's just a tube right you're just like it's literally a couple of tubes yeah so so here's the the one thing that these are some of the things that can happen. First of all, you can get quite a lot of pain afterwards. Sure. Some people react better or worse than others or the rest of it,

but there's something called, and this is a term I've had to learn now. This is, this is the weird thing about life is these things have been around for a long time. Yeah. As soon as it starts to affect you, you're like, Oh yes,

of course. I now know the term sperm granuloma. You know what that is? No, I don't. So when they guess, carry on on oh no go for it lurch i would imagine it's like like bits of sand in your uh in your semen like it gets like your way off your way you get like some some granules imagine it was um because you're having your tubes cut right so i imagine what you get is a build-up of sperm at

the end of the cut tube right and it could become like a tumor potentially so it's it's it's the white blood cells attacking the sperm that are like what who are these lads where are you going you know so they're trying to round them up so it forms like like a sort of clump of almost like a scar tissue. Right. Oh, okay. So you just got to make sure your pipes are good and empty. You just got to jack off like 50 times before the thing is done. No, that's post.

All right. So pre, because it's not like your nuts, when you cut it, they just stop. Like the blood supply keeps going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just that they're not going anywhere. So the sperm granuloma can be quite uncomfortable, and sometimes they have to go in and remove them. But more often than not, it just dies down over time,

and your nuts just chill there, and it's all fine. After you've had the procedure, it's 20 weeks before you can submit a semen sample, because it takes that long to make sure there's no sperm anywhere knocking about. These lads are persistent, let's say that. Can I just, I know this is something you don't like to do Sibs, but I'd like to give

a shout out to sperm. I would be, I'm fine with a big up to sperm this week, that's fine by me. They are fucking tenacious and God bless them, they try their best, sometimes you don't want them knocking about. And they bless them. They try their best. Sometimes you don't want them knocking about. And they taste great as well. Let's face it.

Why am I thinking of that gangbang again? This comes back to this gangbang. This fantasy gangbang that Lewis can't stop thinking about. I'm just imagining a room full of middle-aged naked dudes. What is it? Okay, but what is it with any time you're about to have a procedure that has anything to do with your genitals or your ass, it becomes sexual to people. Like when I was talking about, I was telling Chad about like, you know, like my prostate and stuff like that. Almost every comment was like, oh, yeah, is he going to inspect it like with his cock?

Is the nurse going to ride you and like all this stuff and you're like it just i don't get it well some people do why do we why do we reach for this this this low-hanging fruit like anytime i don't find the medical setting particularly uh eternal but obviously you know it's anti-sex the medical setting like it doesn't if you're if you're in a gown and something has been in your ass and you've heard like the sound of a staple gun in your ass you're not feeling very randy let me tell you well i guess it depends doesn't it yeah well maybe so but yeah i don't know maybe chasing that dragon because uh those people are not very funny well Well, I guess it may be. I mean, I would also... It's just the most obvious joke.

It's literally the most obvious joke. Yeah. Like, if you're not funny, and a lot of people are not funny, then the moment the very simple word prostate pops up, the idiot part of their brain kicks in. It's like the default British panel show joke kicks in oh me say obvious joke

that's it I think that's a fair and valid explanation so a couple things about this you know do you reckon like the way you spoke about this it was almost like

it was such a it was like it was like you had a voucher for it or something do you know what I mean yeah yeah that's what he got for his birthday he just got like a he got a voucher to it or something. Right. Yeah, yeah. That's what he got for his birthday. He just got a voucher to have a vasectomy.

He got an email. It was like 15% off. Can I just ask? And I mean, I know it's personal and don't answer if you don't want to, obviously. But what prompted this? What's making you decide that you want to have this done? So after we had, this is pre-covid right we were like you know mrs f's been on contraception stuff for a long time sure and it's not particularly

healthy to be on it for a long time no it was like maybe it's time i did my part all right okay i i said i was going to do it in like 2019 um and i was going to do it and then i i had to go i had like unexpected work came up and you can't fly after you have to rest and everything so i put it off right and then i was like i'll do it after the summer because i don't want to you know not be able to go swimming and when we go on holiday and then ti came around and all this stuff and then covid and so it just kind of got pushed to the back of the heap um so this this is not like a last minute or all of a sudden no no this is years in the planning right i just have been lazy or covid or whatever sure so yeah and it's very

easy to put off something which involves having your balls exactly right exactly it's not like it's on the edge you're not in a mad rush to have your balls it's not like god i can't i'm so excited well but maybe some people are i think the other thing is like you know i'm i'm keen you know sips you're probably keen right can we get like a two for one can we get like a to get a deal honestly like if uh if if my wife was like yeah i think you should get one i would just i would get one i'd be fine but like i I'm not going out of my way to get one either. It's a lot of hassle. OK. I've got to leave the garage and go somewhere.

I don't want to do anything. They're already messing around down there. I've been messed around with enough recently. I don't need to be messed around with anymore. But if it was in the butt, yeah, for sure. But no, but if it was impacting my wife's health or something the butt yeah for sure but um no but like if it was like uh impacting my wife's health or something like that then yeah of course i would do it but i don't know if i would just like i wouldn't i wouldn't opt to do it you know like some people

you meet are like oh i have to get one i'm just getting one done like i i can't have another kid i'm just gonna get one done you just think okay well i mean there's other ways you don't necessarily have to go and do that i guess but um but no i mean i get it i just thought you know it's it's pretty much the only version of male contraception that there is yeah yeah it's my turn well no it's i mean obviously you could just you know wear protection instead wear a condom and just soak as well don't move while you're in there and then i don't think hot baths is a very solid form of contraception have a little laptop on your lap all day oh yeah but anyway we're in the meeting we're in the meeting is this thing number one you've you said you had four this is number one yeah yeah this is number one just so um the uh

the meeting is a call to to run through questions and on the day what you're expected you know this kind of stuff and then he says any questions and there's total silence and then one lad puts his hand up in zoom you know that little hand icon this guy thought he was fucking hilarious right he had all these fucking stupid questions and they kept coming um he he pops up on the camera he's not a very old guy we're all we all literally all the lads were like pictures of me they were all nearly 50 bald bit chubby face beard and they're also like looking like fed up and like who's getting each other with you know yeah literally all me um And this guy's like, this is a direct quote, I'm a very lucky man,

so how long until I can start having sex again? And everyone's sort of rolling their eyes. And the doctor's like, well, you have to wait 20 weeks after you've had the procedure, and then you submit a semen sample by post. Fucking gross.

Yeah, right. And then you get the all clear and you're good to go. And he's like, you have to make sure that you have 30 ejaculations before you send the semen sample. Not all in one go, but in the weeks leading between the procedure and the sample. Okay, when is it safe to start ejaculating again? I can't remember. I'll have to look at the quiz. I think it's pretty much within a couple days i think it's like no i think it's within a week okay so within a week you can start jacking

off again yeah but then you got to make sure you jack off 30 times before you send it has to be 30 times you can't be like smashing your balls is there gonna be some blood in there do you think no i don't believe right well i don't believe so anyway um i like the idea as well by the way we're not all squeamish it's okay no it's fine i i like the idea that medical school is some sort of smorgasbord where people could just go and try a little bit of everything until they find out which body part that you like the best or what what's the whole life to fucking with yeah i don't know that that, to me, is quite funny. But then he asked, how long until I can have an orgy? And the doctor was just like, what? Like, this is literally the question he asked.

Oh, my God. And everyone just sort of... How long until I can have an orgy? Yeah. Same answer. Same answer. It's like the same fucking answer. No one gives a shit if you're having sex.

We are all grown men. We're all having vasectomies because we have had sex. You may be in your 20s and think it's hilarious that you're finally having sex you fucking virgin ex-virgin incel twat whatever but just shut the fuck up and let us be grown-ups here for a second it was really it was like he was the first guy to have sex in this chat we've all fucking had sex buddy that's why we're having vasectomies why do you think you're showing off by talking about the fact you've had sex to a group of men having a fucking vasectomy I had sex three times and I cry every day now

so you know it's just what is going on he was like in his 20s and he could not shut up about how much sex he was having sorry I know

I was on the call I don't know why sex is scheduled next week as well it was just his attitude was so it was like he'd had he'd lost his virginity

yesterday and was convinced he was the only person the only man in the world who'd ever had sex. I think sometimes people feel like they have to lighten the mood. I'm not trying to defend this guy, but this was not the right place for it, I'm sure. We didn't need the mood light. The doctor's talking, we're all listening, end of story. We all know what we're there for. Can we just get on with it?

And he keeps asking these stupid questions, and he's just dragging this fucking meeting out more and more and more because the doctors are professional and a nice guy and giving like a long annoying answer yeah and giving genuine answers and then i don't think it could get any worse right and this guy pops up and he starts talking about how he goes yeah um it's a different guy i don't know if this is the right yeah i don't know if this is the right forum to talk about this, but I'm going to say it anyway. I've got some other health problems, and I've been through some stuff lately.

And I found it really hard to ejaculate inside my wife. And we're all sort of like, where is this going? He's like, so I don't really know if this is going to help or if this procedure is a big part of it or whatever. It's a kind of complicated one. And the doctor's like, right, maybe we should talk about this like off camera man do people just like not use their brains or what like that's i don't know what he was talking about he literally went on for like five minutes and everybody's sort of looking at each other i

had the camera off because i was like i don't know right jesus be involved in this and i didn't i didn't have any questions because all the questions are answered in the fucking information pack. Or you can Google it. You don't need to embarrass yourself and this doctor and bore all of us with your stupid questions. And the doctor was like, well, you probably need some help with that. Blah, blah, blah. And he's like, I don't care who knows. I'll tell anyone.

It's like, I don't want to hear it. It's not about sound or hearing. I don't want to fucking hear it. You missed an opportunity to be a hero of that call. You should have turned around and said, listen, mate, I'll ejaculate in your wife for you immediately. And orgy boy, when is it safe for me to fuck your mother? Thank you very much.

Goodbye and hang on. And just left. Yeah. Fuck those gods. It was just neither of these people had any idea how to talk and not come across as a twat or bore everybody just shut up this is not forum for that what are you doing man you could have gone out with such a bang the ultimate showmanship yeah i just as soon as the

doctor said well we if anyone's got any more questions and i was like please no it's like oh by the way if anyone wants to leave feel free i'm just gonna answer and i was like bam i'm out of this call um so i mean i just don't understand it was it was baffling to me so that was bad but um i'm not looking i'm not looking forward to the procedure but i'm not worried about it the guy's super competent and you know that it's not like end of the fucking world uh if it's painful or whatever i think it'll be fine you've got to ice your balls for about a week afterwards and all that to prevent swelling It's not like end of the fucking world if it's painful or whatever. I think it'll be fine. You've got to ice your balls for about a week afterwards and all that to prevent swelling. Sure, yeah.

We can fucking crack on. I've had worse, so it'll be fine. I know there's... We used to go to events. There was this security guard we always used to know called Kev. Super nice guy. Yeah. He's a firefighter. He's huge. He must have been like yeah like like he was the one that uh he's a very strong man very very

handsome and strong very very handsome good head of hair but in his sort of late i fell his strength firsthand because i came up and uh grabbed lewis i tried to give him a very kept in there who i was very commanding voice as well. He's got a very sort of authoritative voice on him too. That was at Comic Con. I came to give you a hug, Lewis, and he grabbed me like I was going to stab you. Really? Wow.

And you were like, it's alright, it's period. And he was just holding on to me like he was going to absolutely get him, Kev. Snap his neck. Kill him. Make it quick. So Kev was this guy who I think Kev was like I'm sorry I didn't know kill him make it quick so Kev was this guy who I think had a couple kids

with his first marriage and then had a vasectomy and then had a divorce and met a new lady and wanted to have kids again yeah and so when he was

when he was with us he was telling us about how he just had his vasectomy undone. Like a reverse. Yes, the old uno-reversal. Now, they just reconnect the tube. That is not a simple procedure.

No, it's complicated. And very, very painful. And not necessarily going to work. And I understand. You see, he could have just frozen some of his juice before um you know and then maybe he wouldn't have had to do a full reversal they could have just done some test tube stuff with his juice or whatever and then boom more kids yeah i mean i it's i guess i think he had his first kids when he was quite young though and i think he had a vasectomy when he was a younger man

I think he had his first kids when he was quite young, though. And I think he had a vasectomy when he was a younger man. Whereas I feel like you're probably his age having it done now. So it's like a second vasectomy. Wait, Flax, how old are you now? I am going to be 47 next month. All right. Yeah, probably about seven.

I have thought this through. I am very happy with my decision. There is zero chance of me ever wanting more kids. That's the end. No, I mean i mean at 47 i can't imagine that and i mean uh miss mrs mrs flax is 47 as well right so she will be passed so kind of like the i think for i think generally for women and people women do have children later and they can do but i think i i think 40 is kind of like the, for a lot of people is. What you say, this problem is going to solve itself. No, but I'm just saying. No, he's saying that we're done.

Yeah, I'm saying it's a good idea to have it done because you wouldn't want Mrs. Flax to accidentally become pregnant at 47 either because it's not great, is it? When do you run out of eggs? Well, that's the menopause. That's the menopause. Which is probably like in another 10 years or so for 50s or or 60s um it varies much like you can get it really early sometimes it's rare but early menopause yeah yeah um i mean a 67 year old woman gave birth the other week yeah that's crazy yeah i mean i'm saying like it does happen but i think um i think

like the like like a very general recommendation is about 40 right to start thinking like yeah maybe because i i think there's there's certainly risks past 40 for things to be able to happen to your baby like there's uh like you know but i know lots of people whose parents were were older um and it's absolutely fine if it works fantastic no one's saying don't do it oh yeah i think people just saying it's harder yeah and you can have complications and all the rest because it's a huge story yeah no i was just reaffirming like your decision as well with uh with with some secondhand factoids that i've been presenting over the years through being the father of three children you

know yeah so um i don't think it's very common for people to want it undone no i don't think that's right no at all no um i mean i'm happy that's it i'm gonna be happy when it's done end of story i think it's a lot easier for men to have it done than women because i think we're trying to have um your tubes tied it bit of a pain in the ass. I mean, it sounds way more invasive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only, the most critical part is that I have to shave my nutsack. That's the part that I'm most worried about.

Well, good thing you've got a whole bunch of Manscaped grooming kits available. Exactly. You can put some nice soothing powder on those bad boys after you've done the full shave as well. One problem. I did not ever foresee an occasion when I would shave my balls. So we gave them to a friend as a gift. They were delighted with the ball shaving kit. It's going to be awkward asking for those back now.

Can I have it back? Hey, I made a mistake. Now I do need to shave my balls. Can I please have my Manscaped ball shaver back? My balls are always shaved. Sure, here you go. It's a little bit used. There's definitely some pubis in there I can't get out.

Maybe you guys will have some better luck. But yeah, here you go. Here's your shaver back. I've actually found... I had two. They sent me two. I do have... Oh, there you go.

What a relief. Oh, man. Don't do it like the night before. Get the They sent me two. I do have one. Oh, there you go. What a relief. Oh, man. Don't do it like the night before. Get the balm on there after. I know. Get the balm on your balls. The balm on your balls. Balm.

You're right. No, you do it three days before. That way, if there are any abrasions, in other words, if you cut your scrote, they'll heal up before the procedure. Yeah. I've read the fucking pamphlet. I know what I'm doing now. Okay. heal up before the procedure yeah i've read the fucking pamphlet i know what i'm doing now okay for me though don't i mean don't take this like uh the wrong way but i suppose i'm about to say

it and then you can only really take the wrong way but okay for me medical stuff i'm i'm not feeling randy but if i'm like shaving my balls or like my pubes or whatever i'm feeling a bit randy i don't know if it's just me or what but like if i'm gonna be doing it if i had to shave my balls i would be like oh this is this is a bit weird you know it's a bit fruity like my balls are like totally shaved or whatever i'd feel like i'd probably feel a bit horny at that point i i'll be honest with you i hope that that doesn't offend you or make you feel uncomfortable but it's just a me thing i guess i don't know i don't know if anyone else feels that way it's like it's like you're thinking i'm you know i'm getting all dressed i'm getting all gussied up and your wife's like oh it's a different man yeah maybe i don't know

but yeah i would feel i'd probably i think i would feel like without his beard and mustache yeah yeah maybe i don't know it's weird isn't it but no i just that, like, just as you were mentioning it. If I was in a position where I had to do that, I would feel a bit fruity doing it, for sure. I'd be like, oh, this is weird. It's fine. It's not.

I don't think I'm, maybe it's just normal to me. I tell you what I've been watching this week. I've been watching The White Lotus. Right. Oh, it's great. Is that about shaving balls and stuff? Any ball shaving in there? Is it series 1 or series 2?

I haven't seen series 2 yet, so no spoilers please. Series 1 is about a bunch of people that go to this amazing hotel called The White Lotus. It's sort of a tropical resort in Hawaii, like a 5 star hotel. It's like the super rich can only afford it.

It's excellent. It it's very very good so anyway obviously everyone everyone in the show is is ripped right there's this like there's this one nerdy character who takes his top off and he's like totally ripped and i'm like for god's sake uh he's like supposed to be a tech bro or whatever like or some some sort of um you know tech wizard who's invented some i don't know what he's done but you know they don't say that kind of thing it's just a great show but it just sort of made me think like you know you're just you want to groom yourself big time shaving your balls yeah man staring at your abs in the mirror while you're doing it just thinking holy fuck i'm so ripped holy fuck i'm so ripped and now i got shaved

shaved ass balls and stuff too yeah that's not gonna be me anyway um what was the second thing so that was the truth that one we reckon that is the truth if i made all that up that's really impressive yeah um so mrs f went to see abba on tour but it's not abba it's holograms of abba oh and they are they are somehow projected onto stage so that it looks like they are walk the holograms sure yeah yeah they did that of spotlights they did that with michael jackson uh after he passed away as well because he was working on a big tour and then they still went ahead with it but they used like that hologram technology yeah well she went to see it and she said it was mind-boggling and she's a big tour and then they still went ahead with it but they used like that hologram technology yeah well she went to see it and she said it was mind-boggling and she's a big abba fan as well

went with a friend of hers and uh but it sounded like if you took someone from the 1800s and dropped them into this they went and explained to them that those people were not actually there i mean it would seem like witchcraft yeah it is like magic and she said that they have these but you know the way they have in these big stadium things um these big cameras either side uh big screens either side yeah so you can see closer sure she said only when you looked at those screens could you see that there was something slightly off and they clearly weren't real people but at a distance if someone had just been at the back and hadn't been told there's no way you would know wow she was like she was in the middle like quite close to the front and it just looked like real holy shit man i don't know how it's not a hologram okay it's one of those things that they use in disney

a lot the um that technique that they call it what is animatronics it's like no it's not it's just turkey cheese it's like the stuff they use on it's a small world the ride you ever been on that one before it's a small world after all no i've never been to disney world and second of all what do you know about that song what do i know about that song yeah basically what it says to you it is this small world after all it's uh it's a a celebration of all the different cultures and races of people on the earth. Given that that scene as the Disney song, where have you ever heard it used? It's a small world after all? Yeah.

I don't know. And actually, come to think of it, as many times as I've been on It's a Small World, The Ride, because I've been to a couple of different Dis's throughout my uh my 26 years on this earth it's weird it it does feel like such a weird throwback like I think it was in the original Disney park and then they just kept it because it was popular but it is a bit of a trip going on it's weird because I feel like they play it because that's what they play but I don't think if you asked people what's your favorite song from any disney media i don't think anyone would say it's well small world is just uh is is a park specific thing though i don't think it appears in any of their media but disney products disney tv

shows no i don't think small world factors into any of that i guarantee you it does because i've found toys that will play it's a small world and i'm thinking what exposure to kids have to that oh yeah that's what you see i mean yeah going on the ride at disney yeah yeah because it's not like you ever hear no it's not the theme tune to a tv show it's it's just so strange that it's persisted as like the disney song even though i couldn't really say where i heard it or when or what for no it's just it's it's that famous song it's like is it because i i don't even really fucking know where i got it from it's weird yeah it's weird yeah that is weird actually now i don't know what it's tied to

no i don't know what it's associated with other than a fucking rider yeah but i think that's it i think it is just it just started life as a ride. And then they probably, because the song became popular over, you know, multiple generations or whatever, they probably just thought, oh, we could probably just make some toys that features it or whatever. But I'm sure that it started as a ride at Disneyland. I'm just wondering, is it popular? Like if they never played it again, would there be people crying out for that? The ride itself is uh is insanely popular every time i've been to disney where they have that ride there's a queue for miles to get on i'm pretty sure all

the rides okay so this is what they did right rather doing like a uh a tour they got these the the members of abba got dressed in these suits picked like motion capture suits for like apparently like five weeks um and were like scanned did they have to all go in separate rooms because they all hate each other maybe maybe that's why they didn't want to be born again they didn't want to go through it again with with bjorn and the other frida i'm sure like doing a six-month tour would be an absolute nightmare for these guys because they're pretty old now anyway yeah they they they were digitized and younged up a bit and made into like um basically given like video game avatars incredible body of work on abba it's insane but then apparently holograms are kind of

shit right like they have to be you have to be stood right in front of it to see it and it's like it's really boring so what they did was they filmed like the whole concert with them actually doing it but then cgi'd them and then they use a um high like a 65 million pixel series of three enormous tvs to like like mirror like this is illusion called pepper's ghost which has been used for hundreds of years where you can like make something appear like it's on the stage when it isn't it's used in a lot of disney rides right and like like these techniques to make it appear that people disappear and stuff like this is quite a famous one but they've built a whole custom stage to make it appear that they're there that's going for like it's going to be going for years apparently yeah well why not you know it's like you know it's just a good idea to have like an

alternative to... They should get that set up permanently in Vegas or something. Like when the tour is done. That'd be cool. I mean, it's $200 million to build the stadium and stuff. It's crazy. It was nuts. So, yeah, she went to see that.

Nice. That's really interesting, actually. I didn't even know that that was a thing. I would actually be tempted to go see that. I mean, see it right yeah right yeah but i mean i i quite like abba as well i like i like um a lot of their stuff in a weird way i don't know like it's a little bit like on one hand i'll listen to like really hard uh gangster rap and then on the other hand i kind of like abba as well so i don't know what can you do yeah I mean this is the future of touring for all these old folks right like Paul McCartney or yeah John or Bruce Springsteen well Elton John's done now right he's done his last tour but he could potentially need to be done he doesn't need

to be done he could do one last piano and be scanned yeah and they could just just broadcast it for years can they do it with like archive footage like could they could they potentially like you know no doubt that motion capture uh elvis and then cgi am on and then everybody's kind of a nice idea like there's elton john fans there's elvis fans all over the world right you could go to an elvis concert with elvis lovers and watch elvis dance around as a hologram crowd jump and land on you and you can uh you can feel like you touch him and then kiss him a bit and stuff right all right like okay i have no doubt that this will absolutely be a thing but do we like this will be done with artists that are dead or that have retired and it's basically you're paying to see a virtual image of a dead person dancing for your entertainment all that money's going to some big

corporation people are spending less money on live acts that are actually alive acts not dead acts yeah um it won't stop them there's no moral argument you can make against it that will actually succeed so i have no doubt they'll do it yeah i prefer seeing actual alive yeah the only thing that you'd miss out on is like occasionally you know like uh in between songs or whatever they sometimes that you know they'll say a couple of bits and pieces or they'll react to like something like someone in the audience is done or whatever you could do it yeah i was just gonna say like it'd be funny if they had six or seven different runs of the show and then they could just plant actors in the audience to like say something and then have you know the the the cgi's respond you know at the the right time or whatever would be right

kind of interesting just like a little detail sort of thing but you make it feel a bit more live and not like you're just watching something pre pre-recorded or whatever but yeah but in in in in a general sense there are little things that you do miss out on right for it not actually being live which the spectacle of it in its in itself is is worth it and fine but the thing about these live shows is that they're very similar right like like like a comedy show will have their their material and they it's not like every venue they do an entirely new set they just it's almost beat for beat. Sometimes they do a bit of improv back and forth with the audience and stuff like this.

But most bands are the same every time. So what's the difference between having that? You can see it in the cinema with people, you know, like a theater performance being shown in the cinema or something like this. I don't really have too much of a problem with that. Yeah, I guess none of this would really impact it if Adele did it because the show would still be boring as hell so so so wrong it's just the hill you've chosen to die on there i'm not dying on this hill it's just funny you're

gonna have to because the fans are gonna fucking kill you. Do you know what? I've had very little backlash about the jests made towards Adele. That's true. Your very unfair criticisms of Adele are hardly a whisper. Your very, very fair critiques of Wisconsin. Wisconsin and not paying a charity at a zoo for some reason have prompted some very angry backlash but whatever what can you do i guess i mean here's one from brady dear lads wisconsinite here i just finished mailbag 10 i thought i'd join the wisconsin defense i have lived in wisconsin since i was two and it's a wonderful place we may not have beautiful ocean views but the views of lakes

michigan and Superior are breathtaking. The people of Wisconsin are known around the states for being some of the friendliest in the nation. Come by Milwaukee sometime. Walk into a bar. Make a lifelong friend instantly. Thanks for reading. I don't think I can set foot in that state now

because I feel like the angry mob will just hunt me down and tie me up and lasso me down or whatever they do in Wisconsin and kick my ass. I don't want it. I don't want it. I don't want to have my ass kicked in Wisconsin of all places. Well, you've got a lot of emails about Wisconsin that I'm going to skip. Jehovah's Witnesses is also a very popular topic at the moment. Oh, right.

I've got a lot of emails. Tips on moving to Canada. Here's an email from Jared. Tips on moving to Canada. Here's an email from Jared. Tips on moving to Canada. Number one, don't. That's the entire email. Right. Okay.

Don't. Don't. Yeah, it's a different place now for sure. That welcoming Canadian spirit. Do you know what? I think the cost of living in general in canada is just skyrocketed as well right it's hard to buy property there now it's hard to it's hard to just it's hard to buy everywhere it seems it is yeah but uh yeah i'm writing in today as an apology from all

wisconsinites this might please you on behalf of the writer who threatened to shove a filing cabinet up sips his ass as a lifelong wisconsin resident this listener who's only lived here for six years does not represent all of us so now they're in fight wow in fighting within the wisconsin that was my goal all along take the take wisconsin down from the inside they do then tell you you have to visit uh wisconsin so all right there what can i do while i'm there though make it worth my while it's like do they do any like uh like uh conventions or anything there maybe they'll do blizzcon wisconsin or something or you know something like something fun blizzcon yeah maybe they'll do blizzcon or maybe uh you know like uh

i'm trying to think um if there's uh maybe like wu-tang will like uh tour wisconsin at some point or something that i can go and see them and and then two birds with one stone you know visit wisconsin eat some cheese i like to do two things at once yeah absolutely yeah yeah wherever i can maybe you should get the vasectomy there yeah yeah maybe go get your vasectomy in wisconsin go see a wu-tang uh concert and then um and then fly no make a friend at a bar yeah make a friend in a lifelong friend in a bar i refuse lifelong friend in a bar. Yeah, make a lifelong friend in a bar. I refuse. Lifelong friend in a bar. Fucking flying all the way to Wisconsin to have my nuts chopped. No thanks. Right, okay. Well, now I guess maybe they can direct their angry emails at you now.

Well, Wisconsin's not good enough to chop your nuts, so my nuts are better than your nuts. Mr. Precious Balls, huh? They just slam a slab of cheese on your ball sack and call it a day. That's it. Lewis, I want to keep my data secret on the internet. Is there a way? Well, do you use incognito mode? I do.

Because that does not do anything. Why? Your internet service provider can still see every single website. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It doesn't provide any. All it does is clear up locally. All right, that's a problem.

So I'm on a database. doesn't provide any all it does is clear up locally all right that's a problem i'm on a database so that's why even when i'm at home i use expressvpn to go online will it mask my horse porn addiction it indeed will uh from your service provider isps across the world sell legally can sell your data to other people, and they may use it for unscrupulous purposes. Oh, scoundrels. So protect yourself when you're online, whether that's at home, in a cafe, in a hotel, in an airport.

With ExpressVPN, it reroutes your internet connection through encrypted servers so your ISP can't see what you're doing. Oh, thank God. And it keeps your privacy. You don't even notice ExpressVPN's on. It runs in the background. It's very easy to use. I recommend you do it.

So tap one button. You can connect across the world and you can use it to get around and pretend you're in different places in the world. You can pretend to be a super spy. Nice. Browsing from anywhere, from Bahrain or Bruneunei wherever you want to go

uh please protect your online activity today with the vpn rated number one by business insider that's expressvpn.com slash triforce you can get an extra three months free on a one-year package e-x-p-r-e-s-s-vpn-n dot com slash Triforce. To learn more, thank you, and on with the show. I've had a cold all week, and I'm mentally going out tonight. I am going out tonight, but I'm going to have to drug myself up before I do.

Are you going to wear a mask? Take a Barocca. I've been taking vitamins. I've been taking Centrum Advance every day this year and it has made a genuine difference to my well-being I'm someone who is generally vitamin D deficient like all of my

countrymen it's something that we don't get the sun here I have the curtains drawn because I'm playing Tarkov and I need it to be dark so I can see the baddies in the shadows so I don't get a lot of sunlight I've had a lot of sunlight recently because I seem to spend all my damn time

standing on my driveway talking to builders. So that's been fun. We have a lot of work happening on our house. So it actually has been really fun, but it's just a lot of upheaval, as you can imagine. Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, I think vitamin D is a thing that all of us don't get in the UK enough of in these two months.

And it can really affect your mood. You can get one of those seasonal lights for your office, Flax. It's like a really bright light. Apparently, it can add some pep to your step. I tried one of them. I didn't love it. I've got to admit, it bothered me a bit. It'll wash you out on your webcam.

It's not that. It's just it fucks with my sleep. Oh, right. Having light on at night. Sorry. I just yawned as well. I think we all just yawned. What is it? Seasonal something disorder? Seasonal affective disorder.

Sad. Sad. Yeah, you can just get a big light for that or like flax is doing you can have some vitamin d supplements go outside for a walk man i think we all should probably exercise more than we do you went to the abba concert i didn't mrs f did let me tell you yeah i see that was the that was the line which would have been a clever lie because then it's not even wait that was number that was number two, so you have two more? No, so I didn't say that I went to the ABBA concert.

I said that Mrs. F went to the ABBA concert. I know, but I was saying you said you had four things, and that was only the second one. Well, one of them was that I've been sick all week. Oh, sorry, that was the third. I was just going to say, I've been feeling sick all week. Oh, right. Are you still playing a lot of Tarkov? Hell yeah.

Holy shit. That's not a lie either. So it's been a good wipe for you then? Yeah. What's the streets map like? Have you played it much? Terrifying. I don't go there on my player. I just go there as a scout.

Is it a very sweaty map? Very. All the chats go there. And it's chaotic. It used to be Lighthouse was the one that all the... They still go um and it's chaotic it used to be lighthouse was the one that all the they still go there but it's like it's just uh it's very hard um it's entered that point in the game where a lot of the the casuals are have given up yes and now it's just captain sweat lord and his mates robocop and it is robocop junior yeah but i i found a new strategy which is i spawn in and i'll just sit there for 20 minutes

hiding in a bush wait for them to kill each other or fuck off it works i go and do stuff it works i've i completed so many quests last time i played just doing that i i would i would i would lay down in a bush and then i'd go make a tea or whatever come back in game i would eat and drink because i'd be almost dead and then um and then yeah any any quest where i had to like kill scavs with a certain weapon or anything like that you're free after about 20 minutes most players are done they're they're all loaded up and they've left yeah that's it that's exactly what i've been doing yeah it's a good well it's a good strategy what a weird game have you played that dark and darker flex yeah i've been playing that with the lads a little bit. Not a huge amount.

Because it's very bare bones. It is, yeah. There are two maps. One of them is the queuing solo map. And one of them is the party map. And the maps, at the moment, are pretty uninspiring in all honesty. The combat's fun. The classes are all pretty good.

Some are better than others. It's fun enough. For me, it's fun enough. I don't hate it. i didn't feel that i didn't like the combat at all it's it's it suffers from the same yeah it feels janky and it suffers from the same thing a lot of those like uh chivalry it like it so often nothing connects you know like i like i'm using a dagger and i'm following somebody i'm right up against them I'm stabbing and it's just not hitting them. It's like I don't know if it's like some desync or something But like I think it's a skill issue. Yeah, I think we just bad now

Maybe there's I've seen lads that just barbarians just run in and just throw me everybody. So yeah, it's clearly us Yeah, like in a chivalry be that one lad that blocks like he'll fight three people block everything perfectly slap everybody in the head you just think okay i'm not that good this this lad's better so yeah it's a problem in multiplayer games that essentially there's going to be a skill gap yeah that's why i do sometimes quite like taking a break and just playing against the computer because you think i know i can beat you yeah eventually i'll fucking wear you down and figure out your weaknesses whereas a human being you you beat a shit human and you think well that was silly i i just defeated a nine-year-old that's what it feels like

like there's no glory there like i killed a lad in talk of the other day he must have been deaf because i was jumping on the rock next to him to get into position and he was just fucking fannying about and then i shot him and he's spinning in a panic, doesn't know where I am. I shoot him again, he's spinning. Then he shoots at me and misses and I shot him and he died. It was tragic. I didn't feel good.

No. It didn't feel like an accomplishment. Everyone was laughing. I felt terrible for this. A kill is a kill, I guess, though. But it felt cheap. And he was at the same level as me. So I just bumped into me.

I killed myself. a lad who's got decent levels i'm like level 36 but clearly is not kitted out just mentally or physically to fight it sucks to think though and i'm speaking for myself here every time i die somebody feels like that about me you know like you get robocop comes down uh comes comes out of a room and just sees me fumbling around trying to pick up military-grade circuit boards off a shelf or whatever. No situational awareness whatsoever and domes me. Yeah. But I think those guys just, they almost feel like you're wasting their time.

They're like, this guy hasn't even got any good loot. There was a thread on the subreddit the other day. How come every time I kill someone, there's some Timmy with no good gear? This is shocking. Well, I don't know know what battle stake games would do about it but i was like this guy is finds the game too easy and is complaining yeah by the way the top of subreddit is the most complainy community i've ever seen yeah it is unbelievable it's a it's a punished punishingly difficult game so it will lend itself perfectly to uh the entire spectrum of uh the game's player base complaining about the game this so fucking complaining sometimes legitimately but sometimes yeah just it's like every little

detail it's like it's like every game though it has issues for sure there's definitely some weird audio issues with the game. There's definitely weird desync. There's definitely hacking and cheats in the game. Like, you know, there's the sort of staple complaints. But then, yeah, there'll be matchmaking complaints. There'll be... It's just everything.

Every time I go in this room, there's no good loot. Every time I access this cupboard, one time i got a video card from there and now i've made a spreadsheet i've tracked it 120 times i've been there no video card like it's just yeah it's dumb shit like that yeah or people posting um like there's no humor to it no so to give you some idea one of the other communities that i read a lot is the football manager sub forums right um and the the subreddit and it's genuinely funny it's just people posting bizarre results or funny pictures or sharing funny stories hardly any complaining and it's amazing to me and i think the difference is that the kind of people that play tarkov and the kind of people

that play football manager are two completely different groups yeah there can be overlap i play both yeah but a lot of people that play football manager only play football manager and a lot of people that play tarkov are just absolutely invested in games they consider themselves like gaming chair and enthusiasts you know these guys are fucking taking it ultra seriously yeah to them when something goes wrong they're gonna this is unacceptable whereas football manager fans like wow i wonder why that happened it's almost like they'd lack the the experience of complaining about games yeah to really know so the subreddit for football manager is just a joy

it's way way more fun um whereas talk of is just a grind it's just people posting clips of themselves dying and saying was this a hacker what's happening here arguing about how shit you know whether someone will say no your shooting was bad and someone will say what am i using and blah blah blah just back and forth back yeah it's so tedious yeah um it's weird that these communities are fostered by the type of game though too right yeah if your game is like the same with the dota subreddit you know it's it's fostered a very sort of strange community there um and it definitely is it's more chill like like certain games like i don't know i'm i'm i'm on the ano subreddit for example right and um you know that's that's quite it seems generally like look at my beautiful cosmetic build that i built um you know or stuff

like this it seems it seems a lot more like i don't know like the game encourages you to build beautifully and so people post cool of course yeah that's a totally different type of game i mean tarkov is a is is a hardcore pvp and so people are scum yeah so there's there's gonna be a lot of egos on it with people who think that they're better than every other player and people struggling to to even get decently good at the game and it's it's going to be completely different right it's like go to the planet zoo subreddit and nobody is like is there one yeah well yeah there's there's one for every game but um again it's a game where you can just build these beautiful things and enclosures and stuff so

the subreddit is all about you know people posting pictures of these incredible things that they've made so that you can go on there and be inspired and do the same or copy it or whatever you know what i mean but there's like no complaining the only time there's any complaints is if like one of the dlcs is like not as good as the other ones or whatever you know what i mean like it'll be little things like that but for the most part it's all very positive you know it's like oh my god i adopted five pandas and they're so cute here's uh here's this 20 screenshots of them eating bamboo in their enclosure you know like it's just shit like that what have you guys done this week man i have played so much hitman freelancer it's unbelievable that's it how is it it's great

it's uh it's like um it uses all the maps from the campaigns of Hitman. And so Hitman 3 has now combined all of the Hitmans together in like the new engine that they used for Hitman 3 or whatever, or maybe it's the old one. I don't know. But everything is accessible through one game now. You can play all of the Hitman 1 campaigns, Hitman 2 campaigns, all the DLC, everything. And it's all in one game so you can go back to all the maps and do all the achievements and challenges and shit like that but then there's this new mode called freelancer it's kind of hard to explain but you you're you

have a safe house that you can slowly build up over time it's all cosmetic unlocks just for you know completing completing stuff but it's pretty detailed and and neat as well if you like that sort of thing and you basically go off on missions and it it's taken each map and then it just adds you know one to four targets and it you know like it'll just randomly pick one of the npcs on the map to be a target and then you just spawn in somewhere work your way towards the target take them out and then leave the map right and so this is all done over a campaign there's like four stages to the campaign and then there's um different difficulties for each map so you you you you

pick like a dossier and you'll get like three maps randomly and there's like a theme to each dossier as well so like you can do like assassination so there'll be bonuses for you killing things with sniper rifles or silent pistols or whatever and there's other ones where there's bonuses for like poisoning targets or drowning them or killing them with traps like it it lends itself to all these different play styles in the game and stuff is it randomized what you have or did you pick the mission you pick the mission but the the targets in the mission are randomized and then some of like the some of the uh particulars about the mission uh are randomized as well so you get like you get paid i like that paid money for the challenges that you complete successfully alongside just a payout for completing the mission and you work your way through like 20

missions game mode but if you fail a mission you you have to restart at the start so like oh yeah and then you lose you lose stuff but but you gain like all of the weapons in the game you can collect in your in your uh safe house like there's this huge gun rack and melee rack so it's like a trophy room effectively and then you have like what are called freelancer tools and they're things like remote explosives poisons and shit so if you if you lose a campaign you lose all your freelancer stuff and you have to build it back up again for your next one but if you're really good and you just finish campaign after campaign after campaign you're gonna have tons of money tons of freelancer tools and then it makes it even more interesting because as you're picking your missions you're you're doing

like planning inside your safe house're you're doing like planning inside your safe house right you're like okay i'll get paid two thousand bucks for killing somebody with a fiber wire i'll get two thousand bucks for poisoning a guard and then i'll get a thousand bucks for killing three guards with a sniper rifle so i need to bring a fiber wire and you there's like uh there's like weights and stuff as well so you know if you take a sniper rifle it weighs three and you might only have like 11 gear capacity right so all of a sudden you're thinking about what you're gonna take what challenges you're gonna do and stuff and then there's all like there's all these like challenges within the challenges as well that unlock trophies that get displayed around your

safe house and shit as well it's so good it's it's just really good i hated it at first because it was so hard but now that i'm really into it, I love it. Well, you're a big Hitman fan. I played Hitman 2 a lot. When... Chat convinced me to play Hitman 2, and I'd never played a Hitman game, and it was...

It's good, eh? Hitman 2, you could play the first level for free, if you remember. That was the big thing. It was almost like a demo. You could play the first level for free. Was that the one at the house? Yes. With the bar, bar and you have to you can do things like drop the lighting rig yes people poison the drink yeah yeah it's a good good map but a lot of the hitman maps are

really good really well designed just really really fun to really fun sandboxy maps to just go around murdering people and stuff did you play play the one where you arrive at a country house as a detective? You sort of, you're in disguise as a detective. And you meet all the extended family of this guy. And you can kill them all with the photographer in the garden. When they're all lining up to take the family photo. No, I'm not sure. Is it, no, I don't know if I have actually.

It's great. Because you put this wire into this pool of water and you rig it up to the camera so that as the cameraman takes the photo oh it electrocutes the entire family yeah it's really funny yeah there's some really good ones but um so you there's there's there's stuff you can do like that in freelancer but it's a bit more like imagine imagine like uh like rifts in diablo you know like there is definitely like a sort of randomized element to it where they've just tried to extend the game on to be infinitely replayable even though it already is very very

replayable you know like you can go back and do missions completely differently there's stories in all of the missions there's different ways to kill the targets and stuff but this randomizes a lot of the aspects so you're still playing on all these cool maps but you never know where the target's going to be you know like if you're on the i think it's like is it called hitman what game even is this i'm looking for it hitman world of assassination yeah hitman world of assassination is now all theman's. So it's now just like an online. Yeah. So. Oh, it's all of them. It's everything.

At once. World of Assassination is just like the default category for all the Hitman games. I haven't heard anything. Yeah. It's a free update. And it's just a new game mode. But I've really, really been enjoying it. It's great.

And you like you have a vault that you unlock after, I think it's like level 10 or something. You unlock a vault. And when you go in there, it's just like you've got a computer hooked up to the stock market that you can use three times a day. And sometimes you lose a lot of money or sometimes you make a lot of money.

And as you earn more and more money, riches start appearing in your vault. So there's like pallets like full of cash there's gold bars there's like paintings and busts and then if you lose the campaign and you lose all your money it just goes back to nothing like the little details are so fucking good like it's just it's just great the house itself is is just this spectacular mansion like out in the woods and then as you progress through it and you level up through it you just unlock these new cosmetics for it so you can get more

paintings living room furniture like you can deck out your bedroom and you can and then you can get like a mixing unit so you can mix your own poisons and shit like uh you've got like the gun rack downstairs and you can hold all your melee weapons and everything it's it's it's it's good fun so worth checking out for sure yeah for anyone that wants a totally the opposite it's a grinding turn-based hex-based world war ii uh strategy game called second front oh made by micro pros of course yes baby holy shit is this a new game? Yeah. Wow. And it's... What's it called? Second Front.

Lewis is just like all... I knew it. Straight up. What's this called? So, it is very hard. It's kind of... Oh, my God. It's kind of like Advanced Squad Leader,

if you've ever played that. I would say it's like 99% of Advanced Squad Leader. We're lacking a few fundamental things. The dev is very active. There's a lot of campaigns and missions to play. It starts off saying all the campaigns and missions are locked, but knowing what we like, you just click the unlock all button

and you can play whatever you want. So it's just put on there for choice. It is very, very hard. But you can play as any of the three major factions. You can play as the Yanks. You can play as the Ruskies. You can play as the Krauts. So yeah, go for it if you like that kind of game.

If the term hex-based, turn-based World War II strategy game appeals to you at all, I would say give Second Front at least a glance, if not a purchase. I've been enjoying it, even though I've often alt-F4 rage quit it. It is hard. Right, okay. That sounds like a classic war game. I've played a few games this week because it was Steam Next classic war game um i played a few games this week because it was steam next fest so i've played a few things honestly there's not i'm not being

blown away by the this this this year's games nothing's really excited me at all right um i played i played system shock there's a demo of the new one a remake of system i got in trouble with the guy night dive studios that are making that i backed the kickstarter of it four or five years ago when they started working on this right and i think three years ago i called him out on twitter and he demanded that i 1v1 him mid as if that was going to in dota as if that was going to fucking settle anything i kept getting updates saying here's some more artwork and no game for years. And they made their goal comfortably nothing. So if this ever does come out, I'll be pleasantly surprised.

It's coming out in March. Did you 1v1 it in the end? No, it fucking didn't. It might be out by the time this podcast goes out. God knows. But no, I played it. It's a bit janky. I don't doubt it. doubt very very old school yeah

i mean the original is very very very very hard and an old school game it was great when i played it it's like 30 year old game so if you're just doing a frame for frame remake with better graphics first of all i don't see how it could take that fucking long honestly and second of all um people are gonna hate the mechanics in the game because it is yes it is really old school it's really out of date yeah yeah and system shock 2 is a lot better but you can get they've done a deal where you get enhanced edition of system shock 2 uh if you if you buy system shock this remake so i don't know it's still it's a classic okay i also played um dread templar which is like an old school 90s shooter,

where you run around with a shotgun and you shoot pixel things at the face at great speed. I thought that was pretty good. There's a couple of like, there's loads, there's every game as always. There's like a little town builder. There's like a little space thing. There's like a little platformer yeah i don't know and yeah so i'm always a fan of these

festivals but none of them grabbed me so maybe maybe we've burned out of the good games that were developed during covid and now we've just got the regular again do you mean well i'm looking at my my wish list on steam do you want to hear it yeah all right vampire the masquerade bloodlines 2 oh that's meant to be good though those are meant to be really it's on coming soon all right i added it in 2019 right uh around this time 2019 so i added this on my wish list four years ago yeah i i've i've paradox have been struggling with this because i think they've play tested it every time they play tested it people haven't liked it right uh it's it's i tell you that i told you that i met the team making it at gdc and they were very unusual

there was like a guy with white hair and gloves on and he was very weird. Where the hell do you even see your wish list? Oh, there it is. Store wish list. I think it's one of those, I'm not saying it's Traps in Development hell, but I feel like it's going to become insane for some time. Because it wasn't, like, I think based on testing, they were like, this game isn't

going to do well. Oh my god, my wish list is a travesty. Holy crap. All of my stuff is coming soon at the top. Atomic Heart, which I was really looking forward to but I've now discovered a lot of very shady things about it. There are videos you can look up about Atomic Heart. It comes out later this month. I think it comes out

in about 11 days apparently. But I'm probably not going to be purchasing it now given what I've seen. A game called Urban Strife, which is like a Jagged Alliance-y game operation harsh doorstep i don't even know what that is i've completely forgotten burden of command guess what that is world war ii hex bay strategy game uh metropole sim which is some kind of city building thing that looks quite good shadows of doubt which is an immersive noir game oh yeah that's made by my friend yeah which is an immersive noir game. Oh, yeah, it's made by my friend. Yeah, which is my friend Cole Cole Someone to play played it. I really really want to see how neat it's really on next fair. Right, right

It's neat. So Blood Bowl 3 which I am no longer looking forward to Falling out with falling out of love with Blood Bowl It's happened Well, I stopped playing Blood Bowl 2 because I was sick of the rule set and I wanted Blood Bowl 3 to change things and be better. And they've made the UI worse and the game worse. So they've improved a couple of things, but they've still got the same...

That's what Bait is for, though, to get feedback. Yeah, but I played in two of the beta launches and they were both terrible. So I don't think they're listening. Scald against the black priory which looks like a very old school uh top-down rpg horror which looks okay jagged lines three might be good you never know alliance of the sacred sons i'm really looking forward to that uh that's that's got a lot of life around it house flipper 2 which i will actually play because i need a game oh house fl House Flipper 2 is coming out?

Yeah, this year, quarter three. Oh, wow. Terra Nil, which is a procedurally generated sort of strategy game, puzzle game. Oh, I played Alliance of the Sacred Sons and I hated it. Okay. I absolutely hated it.

But you hated Tarkov. So, I mean, we're different people. We played PUBG. Alliance of the Sacred Sons is like a grand strategy RPG. It's like a space-based RPG. And no good? Like Stellaris style. And I played it and it was an absolute train wreck.

Lewis, did you ever play Workers and Resources Soviet Republic? That was a year ago I played it, so it might be better now. I did play Workers and Resources. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Oh, you've got to play it more. You've got gotta figure out what you need to do and then i need like i need like a decent you need to teach me can we play together one afternoon like show me why yeah i can try to it's been a while since i played it but yeah i can probably i could probably walk you through i want you to like get me in the door because i think i can't i just couldn't get over the

the start like this is incredibly tedious tutorial then it like throws you yeah like do things and you're like getting getting set up is uh is a little bit difficult but once you once you've got set up and you've got like an industry it uh it starts to open up a little bit and then certainly getting into getting logistics trains and shit like that it's awesome oh my god let's find a time where you can just play it with me yeah that'd be good. I might join in your stream. Stalker 2 coming out in December apparently.

That might be fun. Espiocracy which is like a World War 2 strategy game with spies I think. Company of Heroes 3. I'm kind of tentatively meh about that but we'll see. A game called Starfield which is like a single player open world RPG in space. Oh yeah, that's the bethesda game that's the new bethesda game

it's a very big game fucking cyberpunk hyped uh there's some fucking game called starfield coming soon yeah sure it is coming soon yeah i added it last year i've got it on there we'll see yeah mars tactics looks like uh laser squad remade blight survival like i didn't like mars tactics holy fuck your wish list is huge man geez great houses of caldaria which is a medieval indie strategy game android simulator which is a medieval indie strategy game. Android Simulator, which is quite interesting looking adventure game. Darkest Dungeon 2, I know Lewis didn't enjoy the

Darkest Dungeon 2, but I'm looking forward to it. It's not done yet, though. I hate Darkest Dungeon 2, it was a terrible game. A game called Corponation, which is like, it kind of looks like Papers, Please. Oh, nice.

Have you played Surviving Mars? Is that the Paradox one? Yeah. I tried. It was very difficult. It is difficult, yeah. I think it's meant to be really good once you get decent at it, though. I don't doubt it. Oh, I love it.

You land and then you've got little drones that go around and do things. So I just found it very fiddly and difficult. And I'm not very bright, so I struggled with it. I thought it was really intuitive. I found it, yeah, that's what I'm saying. They've got a whole bunch of other surviving games now too, right?

Like Surviving the Abyss, which is like an underwater one. They've got Surviving the Apocalypse. We'll have a 40k Rogue Trader. you looking forward to that we'll have a 40k rogue trader like uh i'm not a i'm not a warhammer guy really me neither but this looks really all right okay rogue trader was is a very old warhammer rpg franchise where it was it was kind of like this dnd sort of setting that's the idea that you played these interesting little characters and you went on an adventure in the... It's like kind of a privateer or like a sort of rogue in the universe.

But I don't know. I mean, I feel like any Warhammer IP is kind of like, we've made a game. Can we put it in the Warhammer universe because it'll sell ten times as many, but it will cost us hundreds of thousands of pounds to get the IP. But it has to be the most used IP for games.

It has to be, yeah. It's got to be one of the biggest, yeah. It's been so abused. Well, I've talked about this before because you can see games who clearly made their game to be a Warhammer game but then didn't get the IP and so had didn't get the ip universe for it and then vice versa you could see games who were clearly going to be a game but then they just tacked on the warhammer ip at the end um chaps listen i have to go and stand out on my driveway and get some vitamin d with the builders so um we have to wrap up

for listening industries of titan that's another one that looks quite good yeah that is out i played the first game that's out it's actually pretty fun that one all right it's okay i didn't like it didn't like it yeah but you don't like anything no he doesn't i do i do like a lot of games he likes shaving his balls apparently he does like that full shaving game hate fool all right everyone. We'll see you next week. All right. Goodbye. Peace. Bye.