Triforce! - Triforce! #250: Big Baby makes the Manly Choice

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Triforce! Episode 250! Pyrion's had the big operation, hits back at the Disney World hatred and watches great movies with his kids! Go to http://joinhoney.com/triforce to get PayPal Honey for free. ��Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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available as a mild hybrid inline six turbo or as a plug-in hybrid, crafted to move every part of you. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Triforce podcast. That's right, where we share with you the everyday stories. the everyday stories where we, me, Pflax, and Seeps share with you our experience of what's happened in our lives this week, which

for me is very little. You've basically summed up the podcast over the last five years we've been doing this. You're never going to compete with Flax who's had the snip anyway, though, right? That's true. That's true. Oh, the sore balls. How they

recover. So, shall I tell you about the procedure? Sure. So, Mrs. F had, we drove over there, Mrs. F had to drive me back, so she came with. And I was expecting it to take a while, but it took like 20 minutes. They called me in.

The doctor was very big. It was a huge German man. He was about six foot five. Right. And, uh, he was quite brusque because of course he's doing a lot of them that day. And whilst this is kind of, you know, painful and uncomfortable and troubling for you, the patient, you're just number one. And he's got like, I think he was doing 12 that day.

So, you know, he was like like let's get on with it so they take you in a warm room so your ball sack relaxes get your balls out so yeah right it was him and a nurse and the nurse was very nice he was just all business and um so i'm lying there on the bed and i just pull my pants down and when i was a young man i would have been humiliated but by this point i'm just like yeah fine so i'm just like half naked lying on a bed no trouble and they put the the thing over you and then i don't know what he's doing he's tugging on my balls and like all around your groin trying to get all the cables like lined up and all the rest of it because i guess it's like you know when you put your headphones in your pocket and then you pull them out and no matter how long they've been in there for they're like a tangled

mess i know there's some equation figuring out how fucking tangled cable is going to be it's like that so you got all these cables down there there's like loads blood vessels or yeah there's loads like it's like not just like if you feel down there in in your Yeah, you can feel like there's a lot of like plumbing down. There's all sorts of plumbing, all sorts of plumbing. It's like a mess of cable. Yeah, yeah. God knows what's going on down there, but there's a lot of it. Yeah.

So he's like. Needs some management. Yeah. He's like tugging and pulling. So imagine someone like right up against your balls, like pushing really hard and pulling. And I'm going to go. And the nurse is like, are you all right? This shouldn't be hurting. right up against your balls, like pushing really hard and pulling. And I'm going, oh, oh, oh. And the nurse is like, are you all right?

This shouldn't be hurting. I was like, well, it's uncomfortable. And he's still tugging away. And I'm just like, oh. And she was like, well, what's the pain you're feeling? I was like, well, someone pulling on my balls. I need a woman's touchdown there, I think. He was going in there like an electrician. So he's like... I'm used to people using their tongue.

Exactly. Maybe if he put them in his mouth for a little bit, it would be better. So he's tugging away. And in the end, she's like, are you all right? And he says, maybe we should stop. Maybe we have a big baby. That's what he said.

Whoa. And I was like, no. I said, ignore me. You guys just crack on and do what you're gonna do i'll just be grunting over here because it's uncomfortable so i'm sort of and then they give me the the inject you right in your ball sack which you think is going to be awful but it really it was it was not that bad were you uh were you had he lubed up your balls with the local anesthetic but that that? That was the local. So the injection is in your balls.

So yeah, you wouldn't really feel it with the local. No, no, no, no. But I mean, you feel the injection, but then once he gets to work doing the actual vasectomy, you don't feel a thing. Right. Just some light tugging, which is, you know, fine. Additional tugging. Man, this guy loves to fucking tug on your balls.

He's a tugger. I don't like the mocking tone that's not what i expect from a doctor no but i think i think in his mind like a lot of blokes i mean i are going to be nervous i think because it's your balls right and you know it's it's potentially you know you're like shit i mean i in my day today i try to avoid anything bad happening to my bolts that's pretty much i think most men's days are planned out around that right trying to avoid anything so here's a guy who's not really tugging on them he's then going to cut them open and do

that's his day today that's his day he wakes up he tucks tugs on men's balls he cuts their there he looks for their friends he looks looks for the right tube in the cable management mess. Snips it and then pushes him out the door and it's the next man drops his trousers. Exactly. And that guy hasn't shaved his balls and this guy's got really tangled cable management.

Oh my God. And that one's all dusty and they need some air, canned air to like spray around. You know what I think i think they could do to make a lot of blokes feel more comfortable is instead of just having one doctor have like three blokes standing around in overalls commenting on the job while it's going on and say nah nah mate no you've got to take it out around the back and then you know we'll have to we'll have to get another part for this it won't be another week and then you can talk about you

can everyone can stand around with their hands on their hips whilst it's happening i think that's a more natural uh thing because i'm for example the work that's going on in the house behind me which you might be able to pick up in the background i closed the window to try to to let it go this is a very suburban thing yeah there's three lads out there working on doing the garden patio for the house behind me and they're all doing that hands on hips like that they've been doing that all morning drinking cups of tea and standing around hands on hips talking about stuff i think if vasectomies and medical procedures on on that area um involved men standing around with their hands on the hips more we'd all feel a lot more comfortable oh i think so yeah yeah i suppose but as it is'm just saying, just get a bunch of lads in.

Two of them could just stand there drinking tea and the other one just... What do you mean? Like, just small talk around it? Yeah, exactly. Make it feel like you do. So, did you have... Was the nurse standing next to you the whole time just chatting to you while it was happening? Yeah.

I had the same thing when I went in for my biopsy. Like, this guy's just wailing away back there on my ass and she's just like oh so where are your family from and stuff and you're like i don't really want to talk right now i'm too busy wincing and worrying about my ass like well she was like what do you do for a living and i was like oh i don't know if you would hear about i told them i was a streamer because they got it out of me eventually and then he was like you're not the first streamer we've had through here and i thought right fair enough i wasn't trying to big myself up buddy he was very like streamers are always having testicles you're

thinking of a different type of streamer and then you just start free flow pissing while he's working on your balls that must happen it's gotta Yeah, must have. Like the nerves or something, right? Yeah. When you're numb, you know, maybe like he accidentally numbs you too much. Yeah, you lose the sensation. Listen, I have something to say about all this. Not to diminish anything that you've been through, Flex. Not at all.

Because I know like any procedures or whatever. But it's reminded me that my wife told me the other day, the baby had a nice midday nap. She's watching some TV and she started watching the show that was on Channel 4 called, I think it's called Know Your Shit. I think that's what the name of it is. And it's one of those ones, you know, Channel 4 always has these fucking shows, right? Like, How Clean Is Your House? Right. Where they analyze, they always end up analyzing people's poop in a tupperware

oh my god it's gotta happen at some point so this show is i think they've just done away with the how clean is your house bit and they've just gone on to let's analyze people's poops in a tupperware container and uh my wife was like she was floored she was just like i can't believe what some people have to go through in terms of like their general bowel health. I was like, what do you mean? It's like, well, you know, like how sometimes you get constipated or wherever and you think it's like the worst thing that has ever happened. You can't imagine life not being constipated. I was like, yeah, all the time.

You know, like I feel pretty sorry for myself. She's like, well, imagine being so constipated that you have to reach into your own ass with your fingers and pull a shit out i was like come on there's no buddy on earth that has to do that she's like well i just saw it on this show like multiple people have had to do that and i just thought to myself i would i would just want to be dead at that point in my life if i was actually having to like put my fingers in my ass and pull shit out of my ass because I wasn't able to just push it out naturally or whatever. This makes me wish I hadn't had a chocolate muffin for breakfast. Do you know what I mean?

I felt so like, I know it's not me, but you feel vulnerable, right? To think that one day maybe. That could happen. I know. And what about those people where there's like a mix-up and like they and when they throw up poop comes out and stuff like oh well man i don't know it like diet diet is everything and with a lot of these problems it was just traced back to to poor diet well yeah if you eat badly you're gonna be yeah pooping but i mean like involuntarily pooping you know like

people people thinking that a fart's coming and then it's just like yeah like a full poop in their pants and stuff and it's just let's move on right god so you're in there does german man tugging on your balls he cut your balls open he found the right wire like he was defusing some sort of bomb and uh snip the snip the the white wire i guess the cum wire the the vast the vast deference which is the bit that leads from your balls to your urethra i guess or prostate or whatever i don't know it's like is it a big tube i don't know does that pass through like the your shoulder region i don't know i don't know i'm sorry i'm not a doctor well i know that your um your I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm not a doctor. Well, I know that your balls don't contain the fluid.

No, that all comes from elsewhere. I'm pretty sure your prostate provides the fluid. I think it does some of it, for sure. But either way, he cuts the cables, cauterizes the ends. Did he? Yeah, because you don't want them like- Did it stink? No.

I didn't. There was no like, it wasn't like a soldering iron or anything. I don't know how he did it. I guess it's probably just a really small tube, right? So you wouldn't even hear the sizzle. It must be. You've got to cauterize it because you don't want them like flopping around in there and rejoining because that would be a problem.

So I guess they cauterize the ends and then they just close it up, but they don't want them like flopping around in there and rejoining because that would be a problem so i guess they they cauterize the ends and then they just close it up but they don't put a stitch in they just hold it together and put a bandage over uh and that's it and then he's like right you're off oh really yeah he just didn't did he give you a big ice pack for your balls yes so the ice pack you have to put an ice pack on your balls 20 minutes out of every hour for like 48 hours jeez um so the day of the operation and then really the two days following that you will go through a ton of frozen peas by the sounds of it man well i think what you want to do is you want to get that ice pack on there but then immediately when the ice pack is done you want to have a laptop that's been on for like two three hours and then get that bad boy onto your lap i just used a blowtorch i just got a

blowtorch on there right right just to warm them up real quick yeah um but yeah so for the whole weekend mrs f and the kids were ferrying food and drink up to me and ice packs um it was to any to any chaps out there who were thinking of having it done. Um, I can only speak to my experience. Some fellows have a bad time with it, with a lot of bruising and stuff like that. I really didn't. And, um, it was, it was very sort of, it felt like you'd been kicked in the balls. Like there's a low lying. I've been kicked to the balls pain.

So you get, you know, when you get kicked in the nuts or you accidentally, someone flicks them with a hand or something like that. And it's like that sharp pain. And then it's like a dull throbbing that spreads up your back. You think it helps if you got like really small peanut testicles, like maybe really small ones. Or maybe they're just more focused. Maybe the pain would be more focused. I don't know.

Maybe. Yeah, sure. So it was like a couple of days of feeling like, ugh. Someone flicks your balls with that. Yeah, like a ball flicking. I mean, that hasn't happened to me ever. Really? Oh, it's very painful. Okay, imagine this, though.

Imagine you've got a full-size penis, right? Like, say you're seven feet tall and you have a penis to match, like, your, you know, an average-sized penis for your height, I would say. Okay, I'd say that's most people, but yeah. But then imagine that you're all sack and you've just got two little peanut testicles in there as well. Is micro balls a thing? That's like some Dr. Seuss shit right there, right? Micro testicles, I'm going to Google it. Just like really, really small little balls, but like just a really drooping sack as well.

And like a fairly large cock. Micro gonads. It's got to be a thing, right? There's hypogonadism what's that diminished functional activity of the gonads there's nothing about um them being big or small sorry um yeah but uh so that was it was like a couple days that and then i've spent the week sort of taking it easy walking around is quite uncomfortable i had to take the dog to the vet yesterday and we walked down um i had to go quite slowly and before that i'd pop to the shop and that was very slow because it's just they're very tender um but really god imagine if you had to take the dog to be neutered and that was like the same you and your daughter yeah well you don't

yeah she's a girl but yeah yeah imagine you had a boy dog that was neutered and you were both sitting there and the dog had like a little ice was neutered and you were both sitting there and the dog had like a little ice pack for his where his balls used to be and then you had like a man size ice pack for your balls we're just looking at each other yeah i'm sorry buddy i imagine you did you did you have like the ice pack like on your head and a thermometer in your mouth and stuff like the like the typical i'm sick yeah you know what's funny is that that was in cartoons for ages i have never seen one of those no what is it is it a water bottle or an ice pack no i don't know i assume it must be ice but that was the staple i am that is the looney

tunes way of conveying i'm i'm sick right it's like a bag it looks like a sort of you got the big mouth thermometer and then yeah you've got like a what looks like a bag. It looks like a sort of- You got the big mouth thermometer, and then, yeah, you've got like a- A bag. What looks like a water bottle for your head. On top of your head. Because it's got like a sort of spigot or something on top. Yes. But I've never seen one.

No. And why you just keep the thermometer in all the time, I don't know. What are you hoping to do? And it's always Elmer fucking Fudd with it on as well. Oh, always. Always. None of the other ones. It's always elmer

fudd like what's wrong with that guy well what's right with him yeah fucking hell we could do a whole episode on what the fuck is wrong with elmer fudd i'm sure what is that he's a gormless cunt is he jesus christ you fucking gormless cunt you fuck you fucking yeah he is though what the hell up with that guy? In some news this week, I read that, first of all, the new Batman movie is called Joker Folie à deux. What? Folie à deux.

Folie à deux. I don't know what that actually means. I think it's like two people having a tumble. Isn't that Game for Two? Oh, it means madness. Game for Two. Madness for Two. Oh, right. actually I think it's like two people having a tumble isn't that game for two oh it means madness for two oh and Lady Gaga's playing as uh Harley Quinn okay um yeah it's I loved the Batman so I'm really looking forward I'm pretty sure that the last Batman movie I saw was the one with Danny DeVito as the penguin oh wow well I think it's sort of a follow-up to

Joaquin Phoenix's Joker. I have not seen that. I have yet to see that one. There was a Joker at the end of The Batman. I don't want to give anything away. Oh. But he's basically in the next cell. And he sort of...

It's implied that it's the Joker, and it obviously is. Sorry, I lied. The last Batman movie I saw was the Lego Batman movie. The Batman is really good. It's probably my favorite Batman movie. And Joker was good too, honestly. Do you know what? I actually saw a movie, a current movie.

I went on the weekend with my kids and my wife. We somehow managed to convince somebody to look after the baby. So we were able to take our two older kids to the movies. What did you see? We went to see Puss in Boots. Right. Yes. A few people on Discord have seen it.

They said the animation was very good. It was. Yeah. Do you know, it was all right. I had tremendously low expectations going in. So, maybe that helped. Right. But it was actually pretty-

Which child's children did you take with you? The two non-babies. Yeah. Number one and number two. Do you name them that? Like, number one? At this point, yeah. Yeah, I just lost track.

Because my dad used to call me his number one son. Thing one and thing two. Number one son, which always felt good to me. And then once he was like, he's like, yeah, Yeah, we just lost track. Because my dad used to call me his number one son. Thing one and thing two. Number one son, which always felt good to me. And then once he was like, he's like, yeah, because you're the first one. And I was like, oh, I'm not the best one. You know, like he was like Picard and you were Riker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which would have made your brother what?

Number two son. Like the poo son. Who was the second in command after Riker? Was it Lieutenant Data? No. So, there was a point where reicher and picard were off the ship and data was the next in command yeah because lieutenant would be the next one right yeah but there's also but he's a robot lieutenant geordie laforge and it's

lieutenant wharf i think so it's not about that it's like he he just had seniority but uh he was yeah but but geordie laforge was a was a lieutenant in the engineering department and right and wolf was the shields guy right yeah so well he was head of security actually come on let's let's be real let's dress it up he did other stuff he didn't do a shields guy he was also ideas that get shot down guy like that was his other thing yeah perhaps we could fire a volley of photon torpedoes captain all. All right, Mr. Worf, enough out of you. Shut the fuck up, Worf. Enough out of you, Worf.

Yeah. And Data turns around and gives him a little smile, like, I'm third in command. I am third in command, Worf. Yeah. There's an episode where he has to tell Worf to stop being a dick. And because Worf is, like, making fun of Data's shitty captaining in his eyes. Oh, yeah, uh, cause Worf is like making fun of data's shitty captaining in his eyes and he pulls him aside and says, you, you better fucking man up and be my second.

Yeah. Cause he's the, he's the fourth in command would be Worf. Um, cause he becomes second officer to data when he's in charge. I don't know why I'm talking about this so much, but I fucking love Star Trek. I love Star Trek too. It is, it is interesting. Um, so yeah, so I went to see Puss trek i love it it is it is interesting um so yeah so i went to see puss in boots and it was all right there's a very uh you guys probably won't even see the movie so i can mention it but uh there's the uh the the bad guy in it is uh jack horner you know

the uh the pie it's all like fairy tale based right because it's all a spin-off from shrek and you know far away and all that stuff so so So little Jack Horner is the big bad guy. And he has this like magical bag with all of these sort of, you know, fantasy fairy tale based things. Like, you know, he's got like a witch's broom in there and he's got a magic mirror and all this stuff. And at one point he opens up a uh they they need to do something where somehow a swarm of locusts is going to help him right so he opens this little box and inside there's this glowing locust and he's like okay my locusts you know do your do your thing or whatever and then the sort of like aura fades away from this locust and it's like this this jiminy cricket

character with like the voice and this guy kind of made the whole movie honestly like his lines were so fucking funny like he was just uh you know you know jiminy cricket from pinocchio how he's like right right sit on your shoulder and judging you the whole time and like one of his lines is like somebody's like what the what's the point of you and he's like well i exist to judge you and sit on your shoulder and give you guidance and all this stuff. And there's this one line at one point where Jack Horner is about to or is threatening to shoot a puppy dog in the face with something. And this little Jiminy Cricket guy goes, come on, Jack, you're not going to shoot a puppy in the face, are you? It was fucking really good

actually like all the lines of the jiminy cricket guy were really fucking funny actually and uh and the rest of the movie was like pretty tolerable as well it wasn't too bad you know yeah well they do they've always done this though ever since shrek they've always put in the bits for the parents you know i actually ended up watching some bluey this uh this week because how like well pedgwin and his daughter were around in the office and so he just put it on the tv and sure and like i was just like evie like just i was like wrapped it's like sucked into the episode yeah yeah like i don't know they're like weirdly compelling they are they're only like five minutes long as well.

So they have these really little simple stories with like a moral weave in. They have this kind of utopian Australian existence where they're just entirely tolerant of all of the chaos that the children go through. Yeah, yeah. They have supernatural patience. Yeah, the dad in it is just this super, super dad. Then everybody's like, oh, isn't the dad in it is just this super super dad then everybody's like oh isn't the dad in bluey gray it's like yeah yeah try to think of one dad you know who's actually like that because there's none like they're all sitting at the playground on their phones and stuff there are a few good like not moments where you know the parents like kind of exasperatedly roll their eyes at each other and stuff, and you realise that's in there

for the parents to see, kind of thing. I don't know, like, I appreciate it. So, no, the Batman anecdote was that they've not been... There was a news article that came out that they're filming these long set pieces, right, over, like, two

hours, and as a result, they're, like, have these really strict rules on set like no bathroom breaks no no drinking water for the extras you see i mean like like some sort of draconian just the idea of these draconian rules but i think it's more like it sounds reasonable to like do two hours non-stop i don't know we but but if someone needs to pee or poo like whatever like you can't just you can't you can't't just like put the just gotta let him go man like what have you depends on who it is though because if it's somebody who's got to fish that turd out of their ass with their fingers they're gonna take a while right okay well and if you got

a person's not gonna get their job back if they can't they don't need a proper diet for a full day of filming what took you so long in there buster look after yourself you know you're an actor you got you got these actors keep themselves in incredible shape. You know, you've got to, the extras have got to do it too. I suppose, yeah. What else happened in the news? Someone else sent me another article. Oh, yeah, there was, because I was thinking about your vasectomy effects.

I saw an article about how they're actually making a birth control pill for men. Yeah. So maybe you didn't need to have your balls cut off at all. Well, I mean, look, like I said, I think I said it last time, you know, the burden of birth control has been on Mrs. F for about 30 years. So it's my time to chip in and do something. My dad actually said probably the nicest thing he's ever said to me

when we were talking about this, because he's had one a good few years ago now. And he said to me, you've made a manly choice. Oh, that was that was I mean, that's obviously quite a piece of praise. I think it's like like getting your eyes lasered instead of having to wear glasses, you know, or, you know, it's, it's, it's like, I was fully expecting him to say, I'm sorry, Mr.

Forsyth, your balls are too tiny and I cannot find the cables. It's a mess. You will have to go. Goodbye, big baby. Two, two drinked raisins.

Yeah, two tiny raisins. So I wanted to mention one other thing as well before you've got any more for us. I don't know if you saw the news this week that Roald Dahl books are being, like, slightly censored. Yeah. Because they're a bit old-fashioned, and they use... Apparently, he was a raging anti-Semite as well. He was, yeah. Which Iemite as well, which I was

not aware of either. Roald Dahl, for me, is one of those guys that I know very little of. I didn't even know what he looked like. I was just aware of his name and his books, but I knew nothing else about him. No, I think that's probably for the best. Adam to the pile of controversial

problematic literary... Anything that is slightly older definitely is on the chance of becoming problematic. I Anything that is slightly older definitely is on the chance of becoming problematic. I do find it interesting that they're more concerned with removing references to people being ugly from those books than they are with saying maybe we shouldn't show these books

to kids written by a man who's a massive anti-semite. I mean, you can have a double standard if you want, and that clearly is one. You're separating the art from the artist at that point which apparently you're not meant to do but then they're also saying oh you can't call someone ugly in a book for kids ugly and uh and fat as well as right so that has to be a word that is now being actively phased out exactly but they're implying across the board fat ugly kids are going to have a problem with that book well we don't typically use those that kind of language though these days

do we we're not i mean kids have you heard kids oh my god kids are unbelievable this stuff that they're brutal yeah but certainly i think that you know in a sense i don't think a modern kids book i think it would be, I mean, Roald Dahl has always been kind of mean-spirited, right? It is, yeah. It was quite cruel, and as a result, you know, I mean, Matilda, some of these books,

they were a bit kind of edgy, definitely, as kids books before, right? Yeah, sure. And quite dark in places. Yeah, yeah. That's what I loved about it. Because the thing is, no books are written for kids like that. No, a lot of fairy tales were fairly dark as well. Exactly.

But listen to this. My son came home the other day from school and he said, oh, yeah, like some kid in my class pushed over another kid in my class. Like when we were on break or whatever and we were like oh yeah and he's like and i you know we said oh did they get in trouble or whatever no no the teacher didn't see it so well what happened like what happened after um you know because it was his friend that got pushed over he said what what like what happened what did your friend do he said oh he got up and he told him off and we were like okay well what'd he say he said oh can i say it i was like well yeah i mean like what's the worst he's gonna say he's like fuck off you cunt

all right i guess well i probably got that from a rolled doll book mate that's probably listening to this podcast i mean it's unbelievable though i mean like i think fat fat is the least of our problems. If 11 year olds are saying that to each other. It's just this idea that reading that in a book is going to make kids a certain way. I just think it's ridiculous. I thought he was going to come back and just say something like, you know. How dare you, sir?

Get lost, bozo, or something like that. You have impugned my honor. I grew up in the 1830s, so things were a little bit different back then. Why are you bozo or something like that i guess i impugned my honor i grew up in the 1830s so things were a little bit different back then why are you bozo sir how dare you push me to the ground yeah sorry i shall call you a fucking cunt that shall be the end of it yeah wow i guess the other kid was so shocked that that was the end of the fight. I don't even think he was, though. That's the worst part of it. I think you just gave him a volley back of equally colorful language. So there you go.

They're getting to that age. This is the age when they start to not all be friends because they're just in the same class. When they're little, they can get along with all the other kids. Now they're like, I fucking hate that kid. He's a twat. Yes. We're noticing this now yeah yeah welcome to growing up because as you grow up instead of having more friends you can

have fewer friends because you're going to dislike people more and more and you're going to realize that a lot of people are assholes and think i don't fucking like this person much like the email i had sips to balance out the uh we won't say the name of the state oh is it wisconsin again is it pennsylvania this time no no we're moving on all right okay i had a hate mail holy crap shut the fuck up about adults going to disney same logic same logic apparently can be applied to adults enjoying video games i guess i grew up poor i never had the chance to experience any of it. I plan to go as an adult and don't want any bald old men telling me, you shouldn't go as an adult. I mean, fair enough.

Fair enough. Follow-up. Ray, last email. I would give a more cohesive argument, but it's not worth it for someone so judgmental, that's two separate words, and close-minded. Focus on yourself instead of other people's enjoyment. Alright, Caleb, first of all, there are a lot of video games made specifically for adults there are a lot of theme parks made

specifically for adults you'll go into one made specifically for kids you'll go to one made specifically for kids and my point is i grew up poor and didn't go to destiny world i've never been it doesn't mean i have to go as an adult so i think you're full of shit there's your fucking logic buddy oh my god this is always this is always going to be uh a controversial point So I think you're full of shit. There's your fucking logic, buddy. Oh, my God. This is always going to be a controversial point, though. You're right. There is like an eternal battle between people who have kids and people who choose not to have kids and the judgments surrounding that. Well, there's nothing to do with that. There should be a separate theater for adults to enjoy pixar films and and then one

for kids and adults and and all of that i think some of that is rooted back in that email that flax got though like not not necessarily saying that it's only rooted specifically in i was too poor to go to disney world so that's why i'm going as an adult integrated into my culture i think if you had a childhood something wrong with it and it's like almost like a signifier no sure but if you had a childhood that wasn't ideal or i idyllic where you you know you had like all these things that were for you as a child and you were left to just be a child if you had like a rough childhood and you missed out on things like that you might seek them out as an adult or be more likely to seek them out as an adult, as a comforting thing or whatever. I don't think that's necessarily a good excuse to say, oh, I'm going because I couldn't go

when I was a kid. There were a lot of things I didn't do as a kid, and I don't now go back and do them as if I'm trying to catch up. No, yeah, I didn't work in a mine as a kid. It's a very specific mental state to be in. I know, yeah, the mental state is you really like disney and as far as i'm concerned that stuff is for kids and if you watch a actual disney film yeah some of the some of them are good don't get me wrong they're enjoyable but i'm enjoying them as an adult

not as a child who's like completely swept away by it and loves i fucking hate mickey mouse he's a cunt what the fuck does mickey mouse do for me? Or Goofy or any of these twats. I fucking hate them. And they're going to be fucking everywhere at Disney World. The music pisses me off. I don't want to be a fucking princess. I don't like Mickey Mouse and Goofy. There's not even good rides. Have you not been to Disney?

Some of the rides are actually pretty good. Is it comparable to like Six Flags or some shit like that? No, no. Where I thought I was going to die on one of the rides. That's a ride for a grown-up. No, no.

The kids' rides are for kids. That's the point. No, they're not just teacups. There's loads of stuff for adults. It's not like a fairground. Half the thing is built for the parents, much like Puss in Boots. Do you know what I mean? Not one of the reviews I've read on TripAdvisor.

Not much there to do for adults. Do you think the parents would think that they would come back year after year with their kids if there was nothing for them to do and it was this terrible, you know, childish experience? So my impression of Disney is that a lot of it is

theme-based rather than rides. So what you're really doing is walking around and it's like oh, it's the magic castle And oh, it's this bit from there and there's some animatronic. Yeah, any characters people dressed as Disney characters, and it's all very it's it's Surprisingly well done though. It's not it doesn't feel It's a big moneymaker Yeah And it's like their flagship thing if disney world started

to suck disney's share price would definitely go down because i think if you went this is you'd have a terrific time you'd say i'm surprised to enjoy it so much and i i want to go back look i'm happy to be surprised all i'm saying is that if you're seeking it out your excuses your excuses are very patreon to send send p flax to disney no please don't Let's get our Patreon to send P-Flax to Disney. No, please don't. Let's get a fundraiser going. Before we continue, today's episode is sponsored by Honey. The easy way to save when shopping on your phone or computer. I hate getting to the checkout window and paying full price for stuff.

Especially when there's a coupon code box there demanding me to scour the internet and search for one. Because I know that there'll be a 10% off somewhere. But thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past. It does all the work for you to simply find stuff and you click apply coupons and it will put them in. It's great. I used it this week when I was buying some Warhammer terrain and I saved about 15 quid. Very happy that that was just on in the background. It works on desktop, iPhone, Safari, very easy to use, just automatic. And if you don't already have it, Safari. Very easy to use, just automatic. And if you don't already have it, you could be straight up missing out on savings.

You can also use our link to support this show and get PayPal Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash Triforce. That's joinhoney.com slash Triforce. I went to Disney World. I went to Disneyland Paris when I was about, I must have been like 23, 24th. My wife, who'd never been. Right. And we didn't have kids or anything at the time. And we didn't go specifically to Paris just to go there.

We were in Paris already and just said, let's go there and check it out for the day. I remember going to Disney when I was a kid and I liked it. You'd probably like it or if you've never seen it it would be worth seeing we went for the day and it sucked but it wasn't it didn't suck because it was disney it sucked because it was in the winter and it was raining and we were fucking drenched and freezing cold and we had no money either so we had to stand outside for most of it and uh so i mean it wasn't the greatest experience i don't think but that's exceptional i don't think my wife looks back and thinks oh yeah shit that was a you know an ideal disney experience or whatever

but we've been since with our kids and she she likes it for the kids sort of thing you know like right she's not mad into disney or anything but yeah yeah vociferous and she likes she likes like curious yeah and there's loads of like uh there's loads of like shopping to do there that's you know stuff that you can really only get at the parks, you know, like, because they make it exclusive for, you know, it's harder to get, you can get it off eBay or whatever, but it's not like mass market. You can't just buy stuff off Amazon or whatever. A lot of it is like exclusive for the park sort of thing. So she likes looking around at that kind of stuff. And my kids like looking around at all that kind of stuff and stuff too it's not it's not bad it's like i think if you're going somewhere with kids like i don't understand the the the whole like well there's not much for adults to do i'm not fucking doing anything anyway like i'm taking my kids somewhere i'm already massively inconvenienced and put out and i don't want to be there right but hold on i don't need anything to do you're taking your kids there that's the point yeah it's like we we all as parents do stuff with our kids where there's

it's really just not for us nah but i i love my kids and so i want to take them to places where they're having fun and i get pleasure from seeing them having fun exactly that makes me happy that's it i would never i would never leave a place and be like oh fuck there wasn't much for adults exactly because i'm not even going there in the first place for myself like i've already resigned myself to not having that great of a time personally like right i mean i'm i'm i'm i'm overjoyed for my kids to be having a great time and having a great experience and stuff for sure i love that but i'm not going to disney world uh because i want to go to a good restaurant or something like that

jesus christ well i know but i think that changes right your kids are some some still on that edge of you know like you said 11 like it's getting to the point with your eldest kid and i'm sure you're you're the same pfx with your both of your kids that that you you've transitioned into family stuff right that isn't super it's not like you're taking your daughter to the princess castle and it's the most tedious nightmare ever right right you're actually you're actually doing things that are fun together like your towers trip or like watching a family movie like like it doesn't have to be it was thought park not olden towers but yes there's a lot of like there's a lot of like kind it doesn't have to be it was thought park not alton's house but yes there's a lot of like north there's a lot of like kind of you know there's stuff that they can do

that we can both enjoy i mean for example mrs f takes um our youngest loves mysteries don't ask me why she loves anything to do with mysteries so she loves like whodunits and all that kind of stuff loves it they went to see the mousetrap which is like the longest running play on the in the west end it's like fucking 60 years this thing's been running and she absolutely loved it they went to see witness for the prosecution which is a play about it's like a legal sort of play and that doesn't sound like something that kids should really want to go to for sure it's exactly her cup of tea she loves it really she's super super into it now you couldn't take a four year old to that no you could take an 11 year old who's interested in it to that and mrs f also

enjoyed both of these things so as they get older you're going to see films you're going to the theater you're going to things with a kid yeah as they get older i get that you're enjoying you're both enjoying it rather than just you enjoying yeah you're there with them and you're both having a good time exactly there's definitely things like that that exist even now with like my with my kids but it's little things you know like it's it's like we'll get lunch somewhere that we always get lunch but everybody loves going there you know and like but it's not like uh like we don't sit down in the restaurant like we always get it and then we like find a bench somewhere and eat it but it's just like exactly it's like those little things right and then i like that too because i get to eat it's it's weird to me that the relationship

that you have with your kids as they get older is they stop being and i don't mean any offense to little kids when i say there's a burden which they are in a lot of ways it's just it's a huge burden that you have to bear looking after little children it's it's a burden that you you bear willingly and you really do enjoy it. But a lot of the time, and any parent will tell you this, it is hard fucking work and you just have had enough.

Yeah. And quite often it's like, oh my God, my head, and I'm just tired all the time. Like any other job, five o'clock, you know, you clock out, you're done. Fuck me, man.

The baby was up to like midnight last night. Just wouldn't sleep. Just up. And like, you can't do shit when the baby's up. You can't, like, we were trying to watch a show like you can't do shit when the baby's up you can't like we were trying to watch a show you can't like you know because she's like very demanding of like your attention and like the minute you you don't look at her she's about to fall off a couch or something you know what i mean like it's hard work yeah it is but then they get

older and then it's like for example the other day my eldest comes to me and she says, uh, we're studying world war one at school. Um, could we watch a movie called 1917? Um, which is like, it's meant to be a world war one movie. I was like, absolutely love. I've seen that film. It's really good. It's like the single shot, single shot. Yeah.

I need to watch that. It's really, really, really good. It's pretty brutal. It is. It is pretty brutal. She said to me, will you watch it with me? I was like, absolutely. I'll watch it with you. Um, I, I forewarned her pretty brutal. She said to me, will you watch it with me? I was like, absolutely, I'll watch it with you.

I forewarned her, pretty brutal, and you know, it's going to be a hard watch. She was like, that's fine. We watched it. We are crying our eyes out

all the way through because it's a very emotional movie. Multiple times we're crying. The film ends, she turns to me, she goes, oh, I haven't cried that much

since The Green Mile. Which is another film that she was. And I was like, I know, it maybe it was it last year or the year before when we were on holiday, we said, let's watch a movie that we'll all enjoy. This is it's it's a long movie, but we but I think you guys will really like it. And they did. They loved The Green Mile.

And we haven't watched Shawshank with them yet. Oh, yeah. Shawshank would be a good one. But very similar vibe. Same director, I think. Is it Frank Darabont? I think it was. But obviously both Stephen King sort of books.

But yeah, so they were in floods of tears like the entire movie. Oh, that's funny. And I was like, you guys are like, yeah, we're okay. They were really loving it. Because the thing is, as they start to get older, the things that they watch, they empathize with the characters, which is not something that kids do so much. The characters are challenging because sometimes the person that you're watching is doing something that's kind of wrong and bad. And you sort of think, why are they doing that?

And, you know, you're learning that the characters develop and change through the course of the story. And then they've changed by the end of it and all the rest of it. And you sort of start to understand that it's more complicated than just spot see ball, spot pick up ball, you know, so that their appreciation for things grows. Yeah, yeah. And then you can start watching things with them that are really challenging. Like the thing, which I watched with the girls the other week. Oh my God. I,

I, I can't remember if I mentioned this, I said, uh, we should watch a horror movie because Mrs. F was out. I think she was away for the weekend actually. And we always watch a really scary movie when it's just us in the house.

Cause I, I always, they're always like, daddy, can we watch something scary? I was like, yeah, sure.

Cause I'm like the bad parent, you know? Yeah. So I always like, daddy, can we watch something scary? I was like, yeah, sure. Cause I'm like the bad parent, you know? Yeah. So I was like, what, what is a classic horror movie that I loved when I was a kid that I saw, I would have seen it when I was, when I was about 13 or 14.

And I thought it's probably pretty dated for them by now. Cause it's, there's no CGI and it is scary, but it's mainly a sort of tension thing with gore rather than horror. They were not phased at all like there there's a scene in that where the guy tries to um use electric paddles on a guy's chest and the guy's chest opens up and bites his arms off and i was like i remember that as a kid thinking god that was horrific it was so good the only bits they were scared about were the bit where they

cut their thumbs to get some blood out and the bit where they take blood with a needle those are the bits that they have to look away the rest of it they were not scared at all so they they were like they kids these days i guess are just immune to that kind of horror movie so i'm gonna have to think very hard because i don't want to show them something yeah show them john carpenter's uh prince of darkness that's that was our that's that was our little kid uh horror movie also it bad movie. It's so bad, yeah. I love it, but it's so bad. Also, Body Parts and what was that other one? There's another one.

Body Parts. Oh, yeah, Candyman. Candyman. Remember? Yeah, Candyman was definitely, they're aware of Candyman. Right. Because I think there was another one made that was on the same flyer. You guys said Candyman three times in the mirror at midnight or something.

But is it like Bloody Mary is another one? That's another one one that's another one yeah you see there's really so much now when we were kids like it felt like there wasn't this back library of stuff that was watchable right and right oh we couldn't listen to this the other day similar to you flex my wife took the took my daughter my younger daughter and the baby uh for walk it was really nice weather my son was like i don't really feel like going can i just stay here and she was like yeah sure dad will stay with you and i was like yeah of course uh and then they left and i was like we should watch something we have the the house and the tv to ourselves you don't have your younger sisters are here let's watch indiana jones and he's like right oh cool okay yeah what's that and i was like

oh it's awesome he's this adventure he's got a whip and a hat and everything I loved it when I was a kid there's like three movies four movies now he was my hero I loved it and so I was saying like he goes into like these old temples and like there's there's like insects and like dead bodies and stuff he's like oh okay like you could tell he's like getting a bit scared and stuff. He's like, yeah, that sounds great. So I find it on Netflix or Prime or whatever. They have like all the movies. I shit. Nice. Okay.

So I put Raiders of the Lost Ark on. Start it. And you know what? The start, it has like the Columbia Pictures woman holding the fucking torch or whatever. But it's like the old one. And he's like, oh, no. I was like, what? He's like, oh, this is going to be some rubbish old movie, isn't it?

I was like, come on. You can't say that about 1981, right? I know. It was made two years before I was born. Yeah. I'm looking forward to the fucking mailbag and arsey comments we get. Yeah. Well, well, you get the filtered version.

I think I'm not feeling well enough to do one of those. Very few, very few Wisconsin emails this week. Thank God. We'd like to move on. I'm not going to read any more out. We're going to move on. We've bandaged the wound. We have. It's over. It's healing night. Thank you, everyone. We'll see you next week. Goodbye!

Goodbye!