Triforce! - Triforce! #260: We lied to you

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

Triforce! Episode 260! We're sorry. We've lied to you. For clickbait reasons, that is. While Pyrion is on the road in a fancy hotel, the incredibly google-able Lewis absolutely demolishes an iPad on a plane. We're also dating this episode by talking about that Titanic Sub. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

pickaxe Hello. Whereabouts are you? I'm in Stockholm. I am in the northwest of Stockholm in a Marriott hotel. I'm working. Is it a Marriott or is it? Oh, no. Sorry. That's Radisson Blue. It's not Radisson Blue. It's not.

But they have all of the brands. They have like Courtyard. This is a Courtyard. Yeah. All right. Wow. Yeah, they have like, you know, I mean, it's a it's a whole tiered system of some of them up, you know, royal suite. And I ask, how are you staying in the presidential suite?

No, just the bog standard room. Oh, man. But it sounds like a hotel room. It does. That's what Sips was saying. It's you sound like you're in a hotel room. And of course I am. So. Yeah. Well, it didn't mean that like in a room. It does. It's got that sound. Sips was saying, you sound like you're in a hotel room. And of course I am. So, that's the way it goes. Well, it didn't mean it like in a bad way, though.

They just have a distinctive sound to the hotel room. A certain timber, if you will. I recognize them from all of the porn I've watched over the years. I recognize that sound, that echo, that reverb. You know, it's ingrained. Put it in my ass, Jimmy. Oh, yeah. Fucking bullshit.

Fucking molded cock in your ass. Yeah, put it in my ass. He's done. Too early. Sorry. Oh, man. I couldn't get to sleep last night, and I had something bouncing around in my head. Two things.

The first was, I remembered, I think we we were in turkey and we were at the airport and you know the luggage carousel when you're waiting for your stuff to come around yeah yeah well i don't know if i've mentioned this before one of the things that came around was a large styrofoam box like those like a cooler box like the ones you'd take to the beach but this was big big enough for you to fold a body into it was large it had no lid and it had a single tub of cool whip in the box oh right just oh no it was empty it was empty empty but bar bar that single tub of cool whip which was taking up like two percent of the volume of this large box which which begged so many questions first of all uh what happened to the rest of the cool whip because it was clearly stuffed with it and it is spilled out that was that was my first

assumption or that they just had this box that was the luggage that they had and all they thought to put in it was a single tub of cool whip i could not figure it out it was a confusing one oh i've got an idea okay here's my um csi brain the baggage handlers it was like some sort of prank or like they were you know that it was something to do with them you know one of them maybe that's like their snack and they just you know put it on there and pick it off again i don't know do you know what i'm saying there's some because there are people behind those magical um flaps you know the rubber flaps we're back to school again are we the magical flaps there is people, the rubber flaps. We're back to sport again, are we? The magical flaps. There is people behind the flaps, yeah.

It's not just... Peek beyond the magical flaps. Yeah. See what you might find. Yeah. God, that's my fetish. Yeah, same here. I want to ride that baggage carousel. He's a flat peeker, is what he is. I want to take that baggage carousel. He's a flat peeker, is what he is. I want to...

Take me in there. That must be a fetish, actually, going back into the womb. Oh, I'm sure it is. Yeah, crawling back up. I think as well, lying on the carousel and waiting to go back into the flaps would be... That would add to a sort of level of anticipation. Oh, I see.

You could get on at the start and have a whole titillation round and then get off just before you go through the flaps. Yeah, and literally get off. And then go back round again. You're like jerking it the whole time. And just as you pass through the flaps, the moment of ecstasy, finally, I'm flap worthy. In you go. Yeah. This is the dirtiest podcast we've done in a while. This has really started off quite dirty.

Well, those baggage carousels are filthy. They are filthy. You shouldn't really go on them. You should limit your access to them. Yeah, I know. Most people nowadays don't even use them. They try to cram everything that they own into carry-on luggage, don't they? It's true.

It's true. I've noticed that, actually. Yeah. And I don't know how. What are they putting in the luggage hold of planes anymore? Because every single fucker on the plane was got this little mini suitcase. Yeah. That instantly fills up everywhere on the plane.

Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, given that most flights are full, I'd say it's bog standard now that when you get there, and this happened to me is every time I've flown in the last couple of years, it's been,

uh, we are operating a full flight today. So of course that means there's no room for overhead luggage. And I'm thinking, first of all, you should be able to have a little bit more overhead space because I mean, the one on the airplane that I was on coming over here, it opened directly above my head, which is always perilous. If you just extended those luggage holders out to the aisle, it'd be much easier. Like you definitely have room for all the luggage. And like you said, everybody wants to bring carry-on, but it's like, they're always surprised that people have carry-on luggage.

So then they'll say, we'll check your baggage for free. If you have a large bag, this is at the gate. Like when you're looking to board the plane, they're taking luggage off people and putting it into the whole bin. That's the scariest part. Cause I'm thinking there's no way my bag is making it. It's definitely going to get lost in transit if i hand it to this random dude wearing a high but he's actually at the plane like he's got a fuselage i don't know i don't trust they're just dropping it down and shoot i don't trust him i mean are they trying to phase out the old luggage because it's getting more and more expensive to have it in there no i don't is the intention to have that luggage compartment be converted to sort of a second-class basement yeah like uh where you where you draw all your french

women that sort of thing like down like the other characters i can't imagine that space is full unless they're putting other stuff in there like freight and i think they quite like charging for uh whole luggage usage so i think that's's something that they want people to take. Because they'll tell you how big a bag you can take on the plane. And I'm sure they adjust that based on their expectations that year. They're like, we need more people to use hold luggage because we can charge 20 quid a pop or whatever. So let's shrink the size. And then people will turn up and they'll say, oh, it's too big.

You've got to check it. No, no. So they can shrink the size and then people will turn up and they'll say, oh, that's too big. You got to check it. No, no. So they can charge people more money. I know I watched a chat with the Ryanair guy where he was talking about, um, first of all, that they were going to make the toilets paid toilets.

And then yes, I saw that one toilet. Right. And he said, if he did that, did that, he could fit another six rows in or something. Six seats in also the standing room only he was going to

charge it was going to be one euro honestly this fucking guy is unbelievable what a guy what a guy to say that we're going to charge people for the toilets i know oh he's so good because then i can fit six more seats in but also he doesn't think of humans as people does he no i think i think honestly a lot of these guys are convinced that um he's min maxing his spreadsheet he's min maxing but also in their way they're like look people can fly for 10 euros like i'm genuinely giving people the chance to travel incredibly cheap they know what they're gonna get but a lot of people especially working class people who don't have a lot of money are gonna enjoy being able to fly wherever they want dirt cheap it's

gonna be a dog shit flight but you're gonna get there for 20 quid you can't really complain about that and a lot of people will happily take a dog shit flight because it's especially in europe it's like what two hours to pretty much anywhere you can sit for two hours in a little bit of discomfort that's the way they stood on the train for hours and hours yeah and you probably paid a hell of a lot more than you did for a fucking ryanair flight i'm not saying that like this guy isn't a sociopathic businessman as a result makes is a billionaire. Right. And therefore somehow is doing the right thing in our minds.

Oh, I'm not making that argument at all. No, no, no. Why don't we just like turn the fucking hole into a ball pit and then send all the kids down there just for the whole flight. I would fly on Ryanair if they did that. Only five bucks they could spend to fly to the ball pit and then send all the kids down there just for the whole flight. I would fly on Ryanair if they did that. Only five bucks they could spread the flight of the ball pit. Yeah, get them in the ball pit.

Install a slide so they can get down there faster. The ball pit. Pay five bucks to put your luggage in the ball pit. You ever been on a slide before at 30,000 feet? Let me tell you. Speedy exit boarding. I mean, that would be a big thing in terms of turnaround is if they could figure out a way to get people off the plane that's the that's the that's the uh the holy grail of flying though right everybody's like oh i want to get on first

no no you want to get on last and you want to get off first yeah nobody wants to be sitting on the plane still after it's like after after you're there, right? Exactly. Once you get there, you want to get off of that thing. You got to get off of it. But then you're waiting at the fucking luggage carousel customs anyway. Yeah. Yeah.

But that guy in Korea, I think it was South Korea, who decided he wanted to get off the plane. And as it was coming in, opened the door. Did you see that? That was a story recently. I didn't think you could open those doors because of the pressure. Right. So.

It has like an override, doesn't it? So, there's a YouTuber I watch called 74gear. He's like a pilot. I've mentioned him before. He had a video called I lied to you. And he said that people had asked him before about whether you could open the door. And he felt that it was his responsibility to tell people, no, you can't open the door, but you can open the door. That was his point is you absolutely can open the door but you can open the door that was his point is you absolutely can open the door um and if you think about it the the pressure outside the plane is much lower so it would be easy to open the door because you're opening it this is this is making me angry how so a little bit well because of his misinformation don't do anything crazy do you mean it's like i think that's almost as bad as being like a fucking i don't know climate

change denial right like like lying about science facts but he doesn't want to tell people doing stupid things yeah you can open the door because then somebody it's gonna do it yeah yeah but go fuck yourself misinformation cunt i am i have no time for that i'm fuming i hate that kind of shit like i i i think i know the video and i think that's where i got it from i feel like i feel like that's such a scummy thing to do why is it scary just to lie and spread lies it's like oh but what is that what is that lie could save life yeah what if that well you point one out to me you know what out to you a life that's been saved well like that many people have tried to open the door on a well but no but there's but i don't know you tell me again point one out to me that's been saved i

think by this you know save messiah thank you youtube messiah for for making our decisions and saving us uh one arsehole carry on people i know that i have no no follow-up to that i have no time for that. It makes me mad. I'm sorry. I hate that. That's the kind of stuff that bothers me all the time. Just deliberate. That's the problem with

YouTube, but also journalism, opinion piece. We've talked about it so much. Not journalism. Not truth. opinion piece. We talked about it so much, you know, like just not journalism, not truth. But so wait, you can't, so you can open these doors easily. No, I believe you can because this guy did in the middle of the flight. He opened the door. They were in the air and he opened it.

They were in the air and he opened the door. I remember reading about this. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know if it's just certain planes or... That is terrifying, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, I honestly thought Yeah. How many times have you been on a long haul flight and you're just stretching and you're standing next to that door? You can look out the little window, you know, like at the back. So, do you just turn the handle and it opens or- So, somebody can just lean on the handle accidentally and that bad boy's open and you're out. Can you open plane door mid-flight? Everywhere says no.

Everywhere says no, but it happens. So, it's when it's low and close to landing. Oh, right. So, there you go. It's when you're low and close to landing. So, the pressure keeps it closed when you're high up, but as you get lower, things change. I mean, I thought they opened outwards, so I didn't think the pressure would be an issue. No, they open in.

If they open inwards, then yes, it would be. Yeah. People are not strong enough, so there you go. They definitely don't open in. Are you sure about that? So yes, it would be. Yeah. People are not strong enough, so there you go. They definitely don't open in. Are you sure about that? So there's tremendous pressure holding the door in place. If a plane is at lower altitude, as happened in South Korea, obviously the pressure isn't the problem.

A typical cruising altitude, as much as eight pounds of pressure pushed against every square inch of the plane's interior, so pushing sort of outwards, if you like. They're 100% open outwards. Just by pressure alone, the force required to open a door would be astronomical. So they open inwards. Is that the case? No, they open out, apparently.

Is it like a pressure cooker? I don't know. So hang on. If they open outwards and there's lower pressure outside the plane, why wouldn't it be easier to open it? I... We don't... Okay. They open outwards. You're making Lewis angry angry again now he's got to go on youtube to find the answer and he hates lies they definitely open outwards right because there's not enough space in the plane for it so the fucking no one's ever got into a plane at the door blocking them have they well they announce armed doors so they're

controlled by the crew members assigned them and cross-checked by the opposite crew member the arming instructions come from the flight service manager. When we begin our pushback, the call to disarm the doors comes when you turn into the parking stand. So while you're on the ground, it could be possible to open the door, but in the air, it says it's the pressure. Pressurized aircraft doors cannot be open. This is true for pilots, flight attendants, and passengers. The cabin pressure won't allow it. It's too strong for anyone to open them. But what I don't understand is if they're opening outwards, someone will explain this in the comments.

If I'm in a car and I'm underwater, the problem is I can't open the car door because I'm pushing against all that water. But if I'm in a vacuum, which is essentially being at 35,000 feet, the pressure is incredibly low. The air pressure is incredibly low. Surely me opening the door would be super easy. I don't understand. We lied to you

that's going to be the podcast title of this yeah right because that way people will be angry with us and the lines them mine's going to be 10 10 things that the airlines don't want you to know about 10 this is what we do is we lie in a podcast and then the next week we say we lied to you we keep doing that because that will get all the clicks and all the views. Everyone will be like, oh, what did you lie about? There's some controversy afoot here that I need to find out about. How's Stockholm this year round? Have you been anywhere nice? Have you been to any fancy joints?

Have you been to any good pubs? I got here on Monday. It is now Thursday. I have spent, so I got here quite late on Monday. So I just chilled in my room. Then I've worked Tuesday and Wednesday. What kind of stuff did you do in your room while you were chilling? I watched Netflix on my

phone. Nice. Oh my god. I watched the England game was on the telly. Who were they playing against? They were playing against Macedonia. Right. I think. And we beat them handily. Nice. It was 6 six nil i'll check the results actually very good oh did i tell you um you know i was just gonna say i've i've just had to buy a

new um seven nil tablet go on because i fucking do you remember when i came to jersey last time sips yeah i bought an ipad did you um i bought an ipad oh yeah that's right you did from the knockoff apple shop no it wasn't a knockoff apple shop it's a legit one well it's jersey's equivalent my uncle owns it and he said it's legit okay it's is he the one that works for nintendo yes of course he does uh oh right anyway it's it feels like it's a legit ipad anyway i was on the plane and um i was i was i had like a electric seat move forward button and so i pressed it pressed it um just got the flight immediately uh put my ipad down pressed it and i heard this cracking and i was like oh no and i put the ipad like

just right like basically when i put the ipad down i wedged it in the seat by accident and i pressed the thing and instantly shattered the ipad oh and glass you must have been so pissed tiny glass shards were everywhere so not only did i not have the tablet which i put all of my tv shows and stuff on yeah like to watch all the play yeah and then my books and all of my everything like i don't know i've got my boarding card like everything was on there it's very annoying to have all of that, like gone. But also there was like shards of glass everywhere, like all over my seat on the floor, like in my fingers.

And I was like, I said to students, I'm like, um, did you say you were so, I'm so ticked off right now. I might open the door. And,

uh, she was like, let's just, let's just move you to this other seat. I will clean it up later. Because there was a spare seat next to me. Oh, nice. So I just left it all there.

Oh, man. What can you do? Like a bloodbath. What can you do? At least you didn't puke, I guess. That could have been worse. I might have had to stand. And then at least I didn't go try and open the door.

Yeah. Like touch the pad and brush the glass out. Angrily open the door. I'm like touchpad and brush the glass angrily open the door i'm so mad about my ipad oh god it was it was the stupidest thing and then i like so i still had it with me when i got to the florida airport i was like what do i what am i supposed to do with this so i just threw it in the bin and it felt really weird throwing an ipad in the bin even though it was obviously busted um Still felt, like, wrong somehow. Did you even turn it on or anything?

Like, was it the screen just completely... I couldn't turn it on. Oh, man. Well, I could, but I couldn't, like... So, you couldn't do a factory reset to get rid of the launch codes or anything? I could turn it on, but I couldn't, like, properly... I think I was able to navigate to the factory reset button, actually. Navigate navigate it was so

fucky don't dress it up why did we use that to navigate it's a fucking computer you know let's get let's put some respect yeah so at that point i navigated to the best of my abilities i had to kind of keep rotating the ipad to try and like does that count as one area of the screen that was still touchable you had to to orient it. You weren't turning it. You were orienting. I had to orient the iPad to navigate to the menu I desired. I'm an explorer by the way. This is your iPad

pilot speaking. We would like to navigate to the settings menu. Navigate my dick in your ass. Your luggage is going to be navigating through my rubber flaps i went to uh i think i might have told you guys this but when i went to um i landed in manchester to go to that show in leeds and uh when i was at manchester airport it's that thing where if you're on a smaller flight, the plane lands like 10 miles away from the airport and you got to take a bus back to the terminal.

On the bus ride into the terminal, there were about four suitcases randomly on like the taxiway, like, you know, go to the runway that had just fallen off of those little trucks or whatever. that had just fallen off of those little trucks or whatever there was one that had been i guess had fallen off onto the road and then somebody stopped to move it onto some grass like to the side it was just luggage everywhere it's it was the weirdest i've never seen anything like that at an airport yeah just so if you ever you've ever lost your luggage that's probably what happened it's probably on the tarmac at manchester airport right now it's i hate seeing it because i know that that could be my my bag i've lost my bags quite quite a lot lately actually our luggage has been lost in transit it's when you have to take two planes that's when they don't know what to do they're just like what do you do with these bags i used to um if you if if you if you cast your your mind and eye back to the 90s, before 9-11 pretty much, you used to be able to check it right through, remember?

You didn't have to stop, you know, like wherever you landed, you didn't have to collect your bags and then check them back in for your next flight or whatever. You used to just be able to check everything right through. And I think it was worse actually because stuff got lost a lot more back then i think because i know that i know that now every time we take in a connecting flight now they just automatically move the bags from plane a to plane b like i don't see yeah i haven't seen my bag changed recently because normally when i'm connecting i gotta stop i gotta pick up my my bags and check them through for the next one. Interesting.

I've had to do that. Well, I think when I'm going, like sometimes I've flown to Vancouver onto Seattle. Oh, yeah. When I've gone to Seattle and sometimes it goes to Vancouver, then Seattle. And when you get to Vancouver, I'm pretty sure you have to get all your shit, put it through all the security things, and then they'll let you back on the plane. Yeah. If I remember rightly.

When people say they love travel, what they mean and what i mean is i like being somewhere like a rival more than they travel yeah yeah i fucking hate travel in all of its forms like like literally planes i i i i get like the pressure like makes my sinuses all like fucking tight and swollen and painful and my ears don't pop for like hours after flying i mean just in agony right i want to like trains are fine but expensive and um i'm always like having to stand up or some shit or some or just sitting in someone else's seat it's a pain in the ass yeah you go to get a train anywhere um cars i just get car sick immediately unless i'm driving yeah which i'm never driving or i just like anywhere in a car with anyone driving half an hour and i'm feeling sick and then i'm like miserable like looking at

the road i can't look at my phone i'm like bored out my fucking mind like don't get me started on buses or like i don't know cycling i get exhausted i'm so unfit that like i can't even walk like traveling in all of its forms even like the other day like an elevate like you're not gonna say an elevator counts as traveling and a lift i so i was in the lift with ben on monday we were doing this thing um and we were like late and so i pressed you got the lift pressed the button and there was this huge like deafening clonk and like i thought oh my fucking god i'm gonna die like for a second like it was like and then like the lift was like you know ground floor and i was like well we've definitely been going up for like a series of times so there's no way we're on the ground floor and then it like clonked again and i was like i

looked at ben i was like what the fuck do we do and i pressed the um alarm button briefly but all the alarm button is is it's like pressing the it a bell. It's doing it. It just makes a shitty little noise, right? Was it an Otis? Bizarrely, it's a fucking Schindler. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's why. Never... Schindler's list.

I would never trust a Schindler. Schindler's list, yeah. One of the chances. Except for that Schindler. I would probably trust him, actually. I think he saved quite a few people. Oscar Schindler. But not so much uh

not so much the elevators it's got to be an otis so much my fucking sanity so i was stuck in this fucking lift oh and it felt like forever but it was probably about 10 minutes um and eventually it just rebooted itself um this wasn't the office was it yes the office i had to go to the uh the headquarters for hsbc canary wharf and uh to my dismay noticed that they also use schindlers which i refused to get in so it was a long walk to the top is that because you're a nazi yes i hate that man he betrayed my people he fuck it I mean do you know what I mean like even lifts are now a problem

like just moving me around from place to place just bring back COVID do you know what I mean it was great you sound like you're not quite 40 yet are you it was great when everyone was sheltering in place I was just saying this the other day and and I don't know whether you agree. You've fast-tracked your angry yelling at clouds.

Back in the days of COVID, I was more social than I've ever been. It was like everyone was going, oh, let's organize an online movie night. Let's all hang out and play this online. You could be sociable on your own terms. Now you're back to- Everyone was doing Zoom meetings, and everyone was hanging out with each other. Nowadays, it's just... I don't do anything.

I don't see anyone. Why don't you organise an online movie night? I mean, it's never too late. I've tried to do these things. It's surprising. I've got a group of people who play board games. And the group is suddenly... I who play board games right and the group is suddenly i originally thought like six people max in that group right because if they all asked

to come we're not going to be able to come you know i don't really want four people right but it's ballooned the group now has like 12 people in it and every time i ask we can't even get like three people together out of 12 my initial fears were like it was gonna be hard to accommodate everyone who was keen to play board games But either I'm so repulsive as a person to hang out with board games Or like people are just so busy and have things other things on maybe they're whatever. I mean, it's like it's now I can't time to ask what do I do now the online is going? Like what do you guys expect as a fucking update? I'm not.

I'll give you an update. A friend of mine is doing online dating. He met a girl a month ago. Right. He showed me a picture of her. She's gorgeous. Right. And it's going really, really, really well. So he's got a girlfriend. Where's yours?

Why haven't you? Is that what you're asking? Where's yours? Okay, so you don't have to slay the guy. I mean, he's, we're just wanting like a little update. I'm weirdly uncomfortable with it.

And I, I'm still trying to get my head around it. I don't think it's weird to be uncomfortable with online dating. The whole thing seems bizarre to me, but it does, but he's thrown himself into it. He's chucked himself right in. He's navigating it but he's navigating i

guess this is our culture now like this is a thing that people are doing and like um it's i just find it a little bit overwhelming i i guess i'm just not i'm approaching it with a lot of things in my head i need to just like turn off those things in my head you know you just got to go with the flow a bit more i think yeah i'm just i think i'm just overthinking the whole thing you know wait so do you remember last time you were talking about how some of the last week we were talking about this but it's two weeks ago in terms of podcast time because we're recording ahead let me ask my question this is important all right you were gonna go out with a doctor you were gonna go out with a lawyer what do you mean you're gonna go out with all these i can't just i can't just they're not replying to me oh why not there's no

like there's like well it's not like i'm not talking to people on there it's fine but i'm just saying like the you can't i can't pick and choose okay i can't like cherry pick um these people you know they've got they've got this is there's two people in a in a date eflex you know they have to want to go on a date with me my dates as soon as i have a date to report that i've had got her consent that i could talk about on this podcast i will do it is that are you opening with that on dates like first off can i talk about this on my podcast i think i might use that actually as a good icebreaker actually it could be a good icebreaker for simple reasons you'll want to know what the name of the

podcast is and then you're fucked if anyone listens to this you're fucked but but i'm so googleable anyway right like i think anyone who's going on a date with me that's a t-shirt i'm so googleable in a picture of lewis fucking brindley we're pretty i'm pretty obviously googleable do you know i'm not look i can't like be anonymous on there can i i can't be like well you know special sections for big big-time celebs like you i i think that someone actually said to me there was a dating site for like just for celebs. Sometimes celebs like people like me.

There you go. Imagine you went on there and you got matched with Kyle Walker immediately. Look, I think you should go by a different name. Can you imagine if I matched with Kyle Walker and then he aggressively started shitting, shit talking me on the app. You little bitch. You little puny little weasel fuck let's see you take a corner asshole

you don't know what you're doing come over to my fucking house and I'll fucking drown you in my ass crack oh what an invitation oh god that's really doing it for me actually I like to be dominated by terrifying

British English defender yeah I like to be dominated by a terrifying British English defender holy crap that's a very specific fetish I feel like it's not to the point where I'm walking down the street looking at people and saying I'll swipe left swipe right or whatever but

there is like a lot of you get a lot of faces a lot quickly and it reminds me of going to these events events, you know, like Comic-Con or something where we have to meet people and sign stuff. It sounds weird, but like, I'm almost like, it's like, it's like quickly overwhelming after seeing like three people and then trying to puzzle out whether this person is, you know, what's going on with this person. you know what what's going on with this person you know because because because to me i don't know like i i i'm not like necessarily attracted to conventionally attractive people i much much more prefer the personality of someone right like i'm much more attracted to someone's someone who like someone could be very very attractive but also the most boring awful uninteresting person you've ever met right sure and vice versa someone can just be like really average looking and just be i get that a lot a lot of people say that to me they're like god

you're so good looking but you got the personality of a uh a doorknob but so good looking i just like really really attractive really a lot of people don't give away very much on these sites right and what if they do uh it tends to be fairly generic digging themselves oh it's like everyone's living their best life as well that's the other thing i'm like super jealous of all these people who have living their best life everyone it's it's like you know on instagram how everyone presents their best foot forward on dating sites it's like that times 10 right so it's like everyone's profile is of them from good angles with on a beach you know or on a in front of the machu picchu or do you know what i mean like like like i don't know like best foot forward um on the uh on the shore of titicaca maybe maybe yes yeah you know and so i don't know like i look

i and i know like we talked about this before and stuff and i am um i haven't seen the comments from the first time i talked about this but i'm sure people i do appreciate that i am a professional man who has a professional and i'm also a childish idiot and i understand that people who are doctors and headmasters are also still childish idiots like me kind of thing and we none of us really ever grow up and i get it all of that stuff right so there's a lot of breakthrough moment for you yeah this is like a big big time i just it's just i'm just saying like it's tricky go on some dates we need the content that's the plan right yeah that's the intention okay i will i gotta i gotta i have to just get out of my head about it and just get over it here's something i want to talk about because it's been in the news all week.

The submersible. The fucking submersible. I knew you were going to bring it up. I knew you were going to bring it up. So just for anyone who hasn't been following it, in which case I'll catch you up very briefly. It's controlled with a Logitech video game controller. It is. It's like a little submersible.

It can hold five people. There's no seats. It's just a carpeted floor. You just get in. It's like a little submersible. It can hold five people. There's no seats. It's just a carpeted floor. You just get in. It's very uncomfortable. Imagine a waterproof coffin. It is literally a big waterproof coffin. They are bolted in.

So there's no escape hatch. When you're in, you're in. And they have to unscrew the top from the outside to let you out. It is 12,500 feet underwater. To give you some idea of how deep that is, no submarine can go that deep unless it's like one of these. Like all these nuclear submarines and shit, they can't go that deep. Sperm whales, 4,000 feet, and that's considered unbelievably deep. Giant squid, 3,000 feet. That's how deep they can go. This thing is like 10 times, sorry,

more like 12 times deeper than the Empire state building is tall the pressure is unreal you're under miles of water it's insane how deep this is and these guys got in this thing they paid quarter of a million dollars to get in a fucking tin can with glass that is not up to code for this depth by the way and they're just in there being piloted by a guy who knows how to pilot a submarine but with a video game with a video game controller which I think is the least of it in all honesty. Cause if they just rebadged that and made it look official, you'd be like, Oh, fine. Because it's called a Logitech controller. That's a problem. The problem for me is not the Logitech controller or anything like the fact there's no seats. The problem I've got is, um, why the fuck are you going down there in this tin can in the first

place? Everybody's been asking this question. One of the people I'm working with said that these guys are so rich that they've run out of things to do to challenge themselves, and they want to do this as a flex to say, I've seen the Titanic up close, through a dogshit viewport, by the way. You don't even get a good view. It's like, there it is. It's like this hazy, misty thing through the murk. You get a look at the Titanic. Just look at the pictures. You don't need to go there.

But these guys are going there. The worst thing is this one guy took his son. It's like his 19-year-old son is on board this thing. They are trapped under there. 96 hours of oxygen when they went down. So like four days of oxygen. There is zero chance of rescue. Zero.

They're looking for them. Nothing can go down there it's not the only person it is but the only person by the way who had uh any chance was gabe newell bizarrely owns a submersible that could go to this depth and rescue them but there's no way they can get it there in time which is just bonkers i was reading about this that's insane i know so wait so gabe's got a shoulder that now for the rest of his life? Why weren't you parked on the East Coast? Why couldn't your sub be closer? That's a lot though for, you know.

I mean, yeah. The guy just wants to watch some Dota and chill. Like, I don't think he needs to be worrying about all that. I mean, it would be literally impossible for them to get there in time. Even if this had been at the very start, it's just not possible. What about James Cameron? Doesn't he have a little sub as well yeah i presume so but i don't know i don't know nobody wants to ask him for it yeah it's james cameron he's hard to work with even allegedly he is yeah yeah but um so the communication system there's no cable tied to this

thing it just goes up and down and then they hoist it out of the water. They have to send like a little text message essentially. They haven't received one. They've heard banging, which means that they're probably sort of not continually, but every half hour or so they were banging on the outside of the sub knowing that that sound can be picked up by this aeroplane that has all this special underwater sonar shit so it could detect it. But in terms of finding it underwater it's on the surface of the the deep like it would be like firing radar at a brick wall and looking for a fly it's yeah it's part of the wall now god why is the titanic such a pain in the ass like like it's just in the worst spot you know like people just want to go and have a little gander.

And you can't. It's in such a tricky spot, you know. It is such a tricky spot. I don't know what they were thinking, in all honesty. But yeah, but it's just bizarre to me. This is such a big story. People are pointing out why are we focusing on this when a boat full of like hundreds of migrants just went down and people died. Why is this the focus?

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. We can go on about that all day. This is interesting because, first of all, it's unique. I've never heard of anything like this before, a submersible at the Titanic, 12,500 feet, that's a big story in itself. The fact that there's a chance of rescuing them, that adds a layer of interest as well, like the cave with the Thai kids in the cave, like those Chilean miners that were stuck in the ground for weeks. It's interesting stories.

Where are all of Elon Musk's big ideas for rescuing these people? He was very proactive when those kids were trapped in that cave. I mean, he went as far as calling the guy who's in charge of the rescue operation and called him a pedophile.

He did. no no no basis uh whatsoever i for some reason i thought people have been stealing like grave robbing the titanic but actually it's the other one isn't it it's the one in um the one in italia no near singapore like the from world war ii the the um here we go the us the hms, here we go. The U S the HMS Prince of Wales. And, um, and there's another one that went down the HMS repulse. So during world war two, um, you know, these two ships were sunk by the Japanese,

um, Navy, um, Air Force. I can't remember. And they went down in the, um, wherever the fuck they went down.

God, where is this? The South China sea, I guess, or some sort of, some sort of straight. And, um,

they, they've got that so they are pre this so the steel on those oh yeah those ships is pre-nuclear weapons yeah yeah which means that it's uncontaminated uh all steel made today is contaminated by the low levels of nuclear radiation that are in the atmosphere today because of all the nuclear testing. So this pre-nuclear steel is very valuable. Yeah. Because there's limited amounts of it, and it was made before, and you can only get it from places like old shipwrecks.

Right. But is it salvageable off of shipwrecks that are underwater? So in fact, what's been happening is these ancient ships that were in the java sea have been so sorry three ships um from the java sea and then two ships have been stolen have been attacked by these scavengers who were basically kind of pirates going there ripping big bits of steel off and selling them to the on the market as this um you know special steel because it's used for like lab equipment and stuff like this right like stuff where you can't have any it has to be low background metal

right in fact it's like they're deposits of so these are criminal criminal gangs stealing ships um it's crazy that is crazy yeah you can it's worth worth yeah it's interesting it's low background steel is what it's called so how much is how much is a little bit worth because um i'm booking a flight right now i want to get in on this sounds like the gold rush i didn't even want the money i just want to be part of the part of history you know i like i like lewis's idea that there are treasure hunters going down to the titanic yeah that's not possible how How are they going to get down there? I guess it is deeper than I realized. Just some lads in a skiff turn up and just dive down there.

It really is in the worst damn spot. Steve can dive to 13,000 feet, so we just set him down with a bucket. He'll be back. I'm sure I heard something. Maybe it's just falling apart and it's just getting damaged or something. I don't remember what I heard about it.

But man, yeah, it's a fascinating loose story. I mean, I think it's going to be a little bit like the flight that went down, right? Where we're just not going to know for a long time. Yeah, it's going to be one of those things where people think it's aliens. It's sad because what a horrible way to potentially go. Hopefully they can rescue them. It would be quite the story if they were rescued as well.

But if they aren't rescued and they die, jeez, i can't think of many worse ways to go than that that must just be utterly fucking terrifying yeah i mean i think every single person that's imagining it uh being stuck there people would be i mean just imagine having to talk to the people for that long everybody knows that the end is coming there's very little chance there There's no food. They're just stuck down there. And it's also really fucking cold because it's- you're only- it's a ten and a half hour journey on this thing.

So, go down there, nose around and then come back. That's how long the journey is expected to be. Ten and a half hours in that thing? Ten and a half hours. Jesus, I wouldn't survive five minutes. No, I wouldn't have got in. I'd be so cramped up and miserable. I wouldn't have eaten.

Do you know what I'm saying about travel? Do you know what I mean? Like, God, it's like being on the British train. I'm not down for that. I'd go in there and just putter around the harbour for five minutes or whatever. There's no way I'm going to, like, crushing depths in that thing. Yeah, you could get one of those little mini sub things and just pootle about. But even then, I get claustrophobia.

I don't want to be in that fucking thing no also if i'm looking in like you'd look in and see how shit it is in there you'd think this cannot be right like if it was like really jazzed up and all white interior with seating and it made sort of a pleasing sort of noise when it went along you'd think this is the future so this thing looks like it was homemade so it's the the idea with this thing then and um i mean under under sort of like um normal circumstances where it is it is working and you you go on your 10 and a half hour trip to see the titanic and you come back is the idea then that you don't really need to go to the bathroom for 10 and a half hours or you can you can hold it in you're fast of it i think the idea is you there's a bucket do your poo-poo and then there is literally a bucket for peeing in right at the back of the sub that's how shit it is

um so i honestly that bucket has got to be overflowing at this point oh my god like it's got to be sloshing around everywhere yeah it's It's awful. I think the reality is, though, that they've run out of oxygen and they're going to be dead pretty quick. Yeah. Once oxygen drops to a certain level, you know, they'll all pass out. I mean, just imagine all of that air of them breathing in there for all those days. There's all condensation running everywhere. It's fucking freezing cold. There's nothing to eat.

You've run out of water. It's awful. it must be absolutely fucking awful it makes me feel bad i know they must not have any lights or anything either so it must be pitch black i guess there are lights i don't know how long the battery lasts but i mean this idea that they can be rescued if they are rescued like if subsequently to this podcast going out these these guys are rescued it's unbelievable but no sub rescue has ever gone this deep ever i think 1500 feet is the deepest something like that that there's ever been a submarine rescue the complexity i was saying the other night yeah how do they even even if they get down there they just have to tow it right there's no way they can open it up or anything they have to get it back to the surface it would

take two hours let's say it's stuck under something like somehow it's become wedged and they're able to free it and it launches its buoyancy thing it's two hours of travel time to come up to the top with no additional oxygen no they have no way of pumping oxygen in right because it's it's completely open the top yeah and this thing won't actually surface onto the surface it will settle just below the surface so they have to hoist it out of the water and unbolt it. There's just no way. There is just no way. It would be easier to rescue people that were stuck in a spacecraft in orbit, probably, if we had a rocket ready to go than this. That's how ridiculously difficult this is, in my opinion. So we don't know what's gone wrong with it though, right? I mean,

maybe the problem is that it can't ascend or that something failed at some point, right? Like, we don't actually know where it is at all. No one has any idea where it is at all. They can't find it. They might have just... It might be a scam, you know? A scam? They might be, like, in Canary Islands.

He might have just vanished because he stole all the money from the pension fund or some shit. Do you know what I mean? They turned off the transceiver. They just sailed back to the surface, made it look like they disappeared. i'm just starting the first conspiracy theory okay you can you can have that one you can be the the originator this is gonna happen i'm gonna just put it i want credit for this right um anyone this is it's the 22nd of june we're recording this i'm just saying he he he it was hamish

harding he did it oh god jesus christ i immediately feel you said the name of a man a living man potentially oh god oh my god i mean what what else i'm just proposing an alternative fact. Okay. You know. Sure. Yeah, it has been pretty interesting to sort of keep track of in the news. And it's morbid, too, because obviously it doesn't seem likely that they're going to make it out of this one. But, I mean, it would be great if they could, but they'll have to find them really soon for that to happen. I think the lack of public sympathy is because these guys are all rich. Yes, there is a lack of sympathy as well.

And I think most of us can understand that if we were wealthy, we would like to think that we would not be this stupid, that we would be like, yeah, let's do this. Ha ha ha, we're rich. What does it matter? We're immortal. And then they found out that actually this was a fucking ridiculously bad we would not be this stupid that we would be like yeah let's do this ha ha ha we're rich what does it matter we're immortal and then they found out that actually this was a fucking ridiculously bad idea yeah and they shouldn't have done it i'm still sympathetic because the suffering that these guys are going through is horrendous and i think it's a horrible horrible way to go and yes

they're rich but we don't know they might be really nice people i don't know them so i'm gonna i'm gonna step back although i am still laughing at some of the memes because they're very funny Well, I think that there is this idea though of the daredevils though, right? Like like we people died base jumping and bungee jumping which is also the sports right all the time and and We are sad about it. But in my mind, I'm like, oh, my God, why did you? Why are you doing that? What are you doing? Why are you doing that in the first place?

So I think we have less sympathy for people because they take unreasonable risks. Right. Whereas I think we have a lot of sympathy for someone who's paid to be transported to safety. Right. For fleeing their lives. Yeah. Giving up their entire possessions leaving like what these people i hate travel at the best of times you know imagine having to do that

somebody who really hated travel uh yeah you haven't mentioned it you just you seem like somebody i have a lot more sympathy no that's understandable but i think just because it's a shame that we're not putting the resources into helping migrants that we are into finding some rich cunts so the thing is just not that they're necessarily sorry they might be lovely people right but just just having more they might still be alive like on a beach with a mai tai and like you know they just put some dummies in there that's all i'm saying i'm just saying having sympathy for one group doesn't mean you can lack you have you have to lack sympathy for another there is still sympathy there that's human empathy i think is to understand that this is fucking horrendous it does irritate yeah i feel sorry i feel especially sorry for the for the kid because i think 19 is like you're you're technically

an adult or whatever but um you're still stupid as hell at 19 like uh you know if somebody would have said to me at 19 let's go on this thing and go see the titanic i probably would have said yeah as well you know like i think it's like a trolley problem right you know the trolley problem stuff some it was really interesting when we released the trolley problem because everyone had the whole gamut of different takes some people were like i'm not pulling that lever under any circumstances because it's not my problem right like if i do it i'm responsible for it and what how do i know i'm just gonna leave it to god i'm just gonna or whatever and other people are like well i'm doing the math right so

you know 10 people is more than one person so i have to one person die i don't care do you mean and then other people were like oh you know i don't think people are very nice i prefer dogs i'm gonna save the dog you know as everyone's got their you know everyone's got their weird like inbuilt biases right yeah and i think a lot of people share a moral code a moral compass um and i think that's to do with the culture that we are born into and is very unconscious it's very under our skin right like the way we automatically make judgments and and cause what do you think the plural for compasses kum pie nice kum pie or maybe it's just cream pie i don't know so my moral cream pie kum kum pie is all over the place on on this at the best of times because I can sort of I like to try and see through other people's why they've made these decisions

I don't feel that other people are less moral than me or care less than me I think that they're how they come to their how they and also how they like at the end of the day the only person that matters really is you

I think or the person in your head like you live with your decisions right so yeah yeah you gotta you're the one who has you live with your decisions, right? So, yeah. Yeah. You got to, you're the one who has to live with yourself at the end of each day,

right? Everyone's got this little judge in their head, like justifying everything they do and making excuses for all the terrible things they do in some cases. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't think anyone would be able to live if they didn't, you know, constantly justify the things that they do stupidly by accident.

I mean, God, the amount of stupid things I say, like I said, the stupidest thing ever, and I won't repeat it. Go on. It felt so bad. Come on. All right, so here's one thing that people put, just talking about the sub again. What did I say?

Okay, I'll tell you what it is, but it's really bad. The sub had seven different safety features that were meant to pull it back to the surface in case something happened. Seven. That's what I'm reading now. Right, right. Quite a few of them were designed to activate it back to the surface in case something happened. Seven. That's what I'm reading now. Right, right. Quite a few of them were designed to activate automatically after 14 hours, even if the crew passed out.

None of them activated. Not even the emergency beacon that's supposed to shoot up to give away its location. For all seven features to fail, something big had to happen to the sub. The most likely case is something happened to the hull when it went down and it imploded when they lost communication. That's interesting. That is from Reddit. I don't know the accuracy't it wasn't super deep what was at the point that it lost contact no but it's on its way down yeah but i'm saying is if it was going to fail it

would be failing deeper than jimmy if it was likely to have a catastrophic failure this is why i think it's a it's conspiracy do you know what you fool what do you mean it's a conspiracy but so i've now convinced myself the conspiracy that i made up to mock conspiracy people so so the so what people think though is that it is very deep underwater right now the sub there's no no question about it it's down there possibly deeper than they ever thought it could go or whatever right and that's where it's stuck like there's no way that it's just like uh you know washed up well we don't know the thing is it might be floating on the surface of the ocean that's i think why they're scanning and searching right and that's why they're all sending messages to ships saying

you know the missing sub went down in your area keep an eye out on the surface as you're sailing by yes so that that is being done because no one's got any fucking idea where it is and this is why it's like mh320 or whatever the one that went down in malaysia no one knew where the fuck it was and it wasn't months until they found out that which which way it even got right and started finding the wreckage right so we have absolutely no fucking information all we know is that this thing went missing and that's it. Like, they could well be all alive and fine. It's Cthulhu. Cthulhu hasn't been blamed.

A fisherman, right? They could be fine, but we don't fucking know. They're done for. And all the signs are pointing that they're probably dead, which is very sad. Do you think they'll ever find them? If they are just lost, like, down in the depths somewhere? It do you think they'll ever find them if they are just lost like down down in the depths somewhere no it's gonna be impossible to find i would say the only way

they would find them is if something went wrong and the the the little vessel imploded and the wreckage just slunk down and is now amongst the wreck of the titanic so well future voyage someone will be down there a little sub and be like oh shit look that's like james cameron goes down there all the time. James fucking Cameron. What? He does. What a dingus.

He loves going down there and checking it out, though. Yeah, so the Titanic's still there, guys. Just checking in on the Titanic. He's looking for some of that fucking steel, mate. That's what it is. From the new Avatar movie. But also, I think what he's doing is he's like doing a 3D map of the Titanic so that people don't have to go- Why are they so obsessed with it?

Why are they so obsessed with the Titanic? I don't know. It's like, it's just one of those things, you know? People just, they're captured by it, you know? They just- I just wonder what it- They're just so fascinated by it. It represents their own hubris in wreck form. Right. It represents grandiose, unbeatable wealth and they're what it's like it's like

peeking into hell for these rich people that's what i think it is they cannot look away it's like their own downfall it's it's hubris but it's like it's like van gogh it's like the mona lisa right it's it's over everyone's heard of it it's the meme it's the viral knowledge like every single person has heard of the fucking titanic and and as a result that's that's the meme it's the viral knowledge like every single person has heard of the fucking titanic and and as a result that's that's the allure right just the sheer you know you say to someone i fucking saw the titanic you know to anyone who's got half a brain that sounds pretty interesting right and so like but like pre-flex said it is so deep that they didn't even fucking find it until like the late 80s yeah um like like it was like it's it's you have to build specialist fucking shit to get that really specialist shit

to get down there um yeah it's it is really deep down like um and and and the the wreckage itself is on the brink of just completely disappearing, right? It's like almost completely disintegrated. That's why they're trying to map it out so that people can- Well, these ships at the time weren't even meant to be seaworthy for more than like 30, 40 years. Do you know what I mean? That was how long the lifespan of a ship is expected to be. And it was even less when they were made of wood.

Like the average wooden man of war was only expected to last about 15 or 20 years. Termites. And so, you know. Imagine sailing one of those bad boys. Holy crap. French termites. That was actually a thing, PFLAX. There was a ship that was a man of war being laid down that was so badly eaten by termites in the dry dock when they were building it that they had to like scrap it completely.

Wow. That was a major problem of time um yeah and certain woods were more susceptible to termites than others it was it's it's anyway so yeah like did they ever use that mahogany to make a boat like just some fine lacquered up mahogany maybe keep the termites away keep it rubbed rubbed down i think the problem is the problem is just the exposure to the the constant wet of the and salty of the sea um which i don't think is very good for you get a couple of barnacles growing into the grooves there and expanding and stuff and yeah the sea is pretty good i mean we as a human race we've been dumping millions of tons of waste into the seas for years

and years hoping it disappears because oh the sea magically it's destroyed i mean it is when the titanic's fucked everyone's like oh it's a bit weird that the titanic's still there um yeah why isn't it more why isn't it just under the sea how bad can it get fucked it's like what are you talking about i got something uh i got something for you guys to think about because we're gonna we're gonna have to wrap this up soon. But I was watching a video, I don't know how true it is, about the training of AI to read people's minds. Right. So they scanned people's minds so you could see like the pattern of their brain waves and stuff like that.

And they showed people images and got them to, you know, see these images and then say what they'd seen. And the AI was able to analyze those brain patterns and over time build up a picture of what our brain patterns look like when we're thinking things. Right. And then potentially the AI could sort of scan people's brains, read their minds and understand what they're thinking and make a decent approximation of what that person was thinking, which I thought was interesting. Whether it's true or not, I don't know. I haven't had time. I only looked at this yesterday. I haven't had time to really dig around into it. But it was someone said, imagine this in the hands of like a dictatorial government,

where you walk through scanners and if it detects thought crime, it's like, this guy's a rebel, he doesn't like the society, he's thinking bad thoughts, exclude them sort of thing. I thought that was interesting. So just something I thought we could have a little homework and consider technology, life-changing technology like AI. I was thinking, first of all, can we think of major life-changing technologies that have no downsides? Because I know there are some people who are very pro-AI and some people who are very anti-AI. I'm just saying it's going to have good things and it's going to have bad things. How bad could the bad things be?

And would it outweigh the good things or vice versa? And can we think of any technologies that was like absolutely changed the way we live and had zero downsides? Those are the two things I thought we could think about. you want me to think about that stuff and get back to you next week absolutely yes so when you write about it i know you will can i just write some more haikus instead or do i have to do that no absolutely okay can i get uh chat gpt to do my homework absolutely i'd love to see what chat gpt says about it although i know that it'll just say here's a language model i'm'm in keep with being interesting. That's pretty much all it ever fucking says

when I ask it flunky questions. Okay. I'll sort it out. Thank you, P-Flex. Thank you, Sip. I mean, because we might get some emails about it. You never know. We might get some emails about it

and start the conversation going. Yeah, you might get too many emails about it. You might get to the point where you're just like, don't email me about this anymore. No, no. I'm sick of getting emails. I'm fascinated by AI and all that kind of stuff. Far more than I am about Wisconsin.

Yeah, yeah. All right. Thanks, everyone. All right, that's that. Goodbye. Thank you. Bye.